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VOL. IX. WOODSTOWN, X. J.. FRIDAY. APRIL 189^ XO. 13. THE MON IT OR. rPBL!SnED WEEKLY BY W. H. COMPTON, IVOOHSTOWN. N. J. THE CHEAPEST PAPERIN SALEM COUNTY. \ ti -i;t^ Unlsts Furnished on Application. T A JAYUFTTr, ^ * tU Y FTST . YVMRMNTOYYM, M. J . (iiv. s <.:u-.'fnt Mttt-ntion to aii branches of bin profession. tbtsuse.) for tt.e extraction of ,eetb. tiionow !m<t pnittiess process ot ex ]r,oti..o. by on appitration to the attins, is rtvingT' n. ial rntisfiiction. <-.i sTf!! T AHAtHARRs ( OYNSH ) OR AT A AAV, oniec—iW M 'lkrt si., Opposite Uo. hnlidlngs, SAi.MM.X.-i. MottTtiA'ttt i.t'AXs \ K<tor[fTEO. T-liiSi-iy I )! TUt r! ! CRN. A! <! Rt^AftS Sif HO !0 Si !) il-iy MU t « A MAS^T, M J CLUBBING It A 1'unMomTORand AmericanAgrienit.GDt ""eycur i'opularScicuce Monthly (^b)bienHays ,, Harper's MagnZiUC ,, Harper'sWeely H:m'er'sHaz:mr ,, Harper'sYotmgl'eople ,, ScientiHcAmerlcan Sc.ien!iticAmer.Suptdenu:nt I'hetJenturyAlagazme St.Xlcholas ,, i^etnorest's Magazine j harmandUrcside ^ itomeCompaidon Y(mugFolkstJt!*cle I'hrenologicalJonrnat At'asdicMonthly ToledoHladc Leslie'sillustr'dNe.wspaper l.esHc'sFactandFiction J^esHc'sSundayMagazitte !,eslie'sPopu!ar51onth!y OutingandThotVheelman " The National Tribune betersous^lagazine WidcAwake Habyland durLittleMcnandMomen ' ThoPansy AnmricanHefonner ThoVoicc Aidcu'sJuveniieHe!!! TheNovclist ThoLibrary51agazino the Hook-Worm TheNationalTribune " UhristianUtiion " Mhila.WcckiyPress Godey'sLady'sHook " N.Y.MT;ekiy World " X.Y.Semi-Weekly World " N.Y. Daily World ' " NY.SundayWorld " i'hilada Weekly Xews " PraetiealFataner " Judge, " (Jostnopolitan " i'hiladelptdaWeekly Tunes. FannJourna!,(wlthca!cndar) Arthur's Ncwilotnc Magazine, Remember Thutwo can,in connection with Lhe TES $2.05 5.05 3.30 4.05 4.25 4.2.) 2.05 3.75 5.05 4.55 3.55 2.55 1.75 1.49 1.35 2.25 4.25 1.95 4.25 4.25 3.05 3.45 2.55 1.95 2.55 3.00 145 1.85 1.85 -50 1.85 1.50 1.75 2.00 1.25 1.95 3.55 1.95 2.55 1.85 2.45 .110 .40 1.55 1.35 2.05 4.30 2.55 1.45 1 15 1 80 secure you a subscription to any paper or magazine published, at a much lower price than the regular rA.te, and you will do well to let i:s know if you are contempiating astib scription to any publication. Tun AioNiTOR. Woodstown, N. J. GEORGE B. GRiER, P R O V I SIOWS. AC ^/// /t.VZ) SOUTH WoonSTOWN, N. J fLSP COMPTON'S Pouitry Powders TWO KtNDS: /?%///? i'hey arc n-.t a cheap "food, " bnt an honest medicine If your grocer does not keep tinun ask hint to g<-t them for you. Take no pother. Price 2i cts. U ai f O Woot!%!owM, Ai.J nOMTHiir! Me tim undersigned were Uj!U ! entirely cured of rupture !)y HU! ! UiH! * ' * Alaycr, 3!H Arch St., Philadelphia, Pa: S. Jones i'idlips, Hennet Square, l'a.; T. A. Kreitx, stuington. Pa.: lb ^1. Small, Alount Alto, Pa : !.HKunHel.4::7X.TcnthSt.,Allentown.Pa.: Hev.s U.Shermer,Suubury,Pa.:J. U. Fehr, Iu21 Chc*t!mt8t., Heading, Pa.; D.J.Deliett. 214S.T\v<-lfthSt.,lteadi!!g, l'a.; J. Yates, 424 \i!u-st..Phila.:Wm.l)ix,lS2M Montrose St., !'hi!adc!pln:t;H.L.Howc,3M)H!mSt., Head ing. i'a.Md-orgeandFiullurkart, 439 Locust S!.. Heading, i'a. Send forCircnlar. ih.Mayerts at Hotel Penn,Heading,!'a..tm tin'S!-condSat!H'dayofeach month. Caii tv seehim. H-26-iy Horses that Have Worms (thoughravc!tonsfceder8)ai!ihe white io^e Mesh. This tend a!! diseases of the biood cured by using MM- HtbUHNU* JBKtaM!) HKMEMY Itneverfaiis. 50c teimx. So!d(orcanbehud) by aii druggists :md deaiers. ^oid by K. B. Hutnphreys A Co., \\ ocdstown: itoicn A Shoemaker, tM)2 Arch St., :<n<! Smith, Kiine, French & Co., 43i Arch St, i'hiia. lO-Kidni ScientiHe Amertcan Agaaoy tar CAVEATS, TRACE RtARKR, DEStCW PATEWTA COPVRtCHTR. <tb. for information and free Handbook write to /)H^f bufea^? MnoADWA^NEW^YoR!^ Kvcry L atent taken out by ua ia brought before the pnh ie py a notice given free of charge in the wot hi. S[<l<-n<li<i!v ifina^ratcd?^N^o^nbeiiigent utan shmMd be wititout it. Weekiy, M.00 a roar; $!.*,() yix nomths. AddreaaMUNN & CO., i t n!.nuc:ts. hmadwuy. Hew York. PiLES " AN AKESM " givea instant rciief and is an infaihbie Cure for Fiies. iricc$l. iiy Bruggistsormuii. 8atnniea free.Addn^s^AN\KES<A/' Box Kiiti, IQew York City. WALL PAPERS Our new wa)[ papers for the season t8H2 area^rriving, and we wontd invite yonr attention to ttte same. Webeiievethc desigtts and coiorings are ntore beatttifui than ever offeted before, whiio tite prices are kept very h<w. We wouid particuiariy caii your attention to onr iitie of feits. We itavo a fine assortment to seiect from. We arc cioaing out a )ot of fait patterns of giit paper that wit) surprise you. We aiso have a tine of curtain ptdes, picture tnouidings, stationery, etc. Wearoverythankfuito ali for past favors, and shait contittue to do outbestin trying to picase our patrons. We trim the paper for you free of cost.and whenwehangit. guarantee our work in every case. Contracts aiso taken for paint D. R. CRUISE, Mansey^s Block, Woodstown. TbeunderHignedarcpieparcd to furnish to their patrons in Woodstown and vicinity Bnat], 8n!!s, Cab, Pies, &c, Patties, picnics and famHies prompt!;^ served atshort notice. ORDERS RESPECTFULLY SOUCUED. ADAM OESTERLE, Ato!d stand !nte!y occupied by stingo! &Son, WOODSTOWN N.J. 2^ SASH FACTORY Having started a t team Sash Fac'ory at WoodstownN.J..lhaveonhauttasupp!yoi DOORS, SASH, SUNOS, SHUTTERS. MOULDiNGS, W!ND0W FRAMES. SCROLL SAW)N6 A SPECtALTY. And everything beiougtng to the trade. OM Sizes aeh Styies matte ai Short Notice. lean otfer satisfactoty inducements to pur chasers. CALL AND SEE MY STOCK I am atiil giving estimates and taking con tracts for Adi kinds of buddings. J. (3-. STIR/ETOH CONTRACTOR 'NO BOLDER Mar.t-tt ____ THE PEOPLE'S RESTAURANT Having re opened and fitted up the store room adjoining the MoTUTt At of!!cc, i shai! keep constancy OAA hmui the best Maurice River Cave Oysters, whichlbuydirectfromthcshoroandarcu! waysfresh.togetherwithnvaAicty of cigar#, tobacco and soft drinks. )CE CREAM PARLOR atsvays open, with private entranee for iadics. t andtteasupptiea with Ice (Jream and Oys ters atshoitnotiee.titvemeatriai. AUGUST REIS, MA!X STKKKT, WOOHSTOWX. AT THE Af/Z/. You can have your wheat ground with the old burr style, or exchang ed for roller (lour the same as roller mills do. You can have your cob corn ground for either toll Or money. You can buy grain, feed and flour cheap. All grades on hand. A new lot of line buckwheat (lour at a low price. 1. LEWIS DAVENPORT. 10-3!-3m ___ NEW L1VHRY STABLH. At the stables in rear of the Opera House, Woodstown, the subscriber will keep good horses, good car riages, good harness, and give the business prompt and personal at tention. Special rates to traveling salesmen. Will meet parties at railroad station on order. A share of the public patronage solicited. 4 r WILMEK HEWITT. ECUPSE BROODER. wccf&y p. ^ ^ 4M/rf/?. The oid saying is: "The cariy bird catches the worm,'and so does the fouitryitreeder catch big prices by raising eariy chicks. To do this requires nrtiflcia! tneans. The hatch ingcanbeeasitydoneby the toother hen if properiyHtnnugtai. Huttiic!Mostin)por!ant andditiicuititart is the rearing ot the chicks which cattbesuccessfuiiydoneitv titcKcUB"^ Brooder. The ^cUp^e received the highest award at ai! count v and state fairs where cx htbitedthisseason. Settdforcircuiarsand nriceiistto llC-tf MLMKKt'AUNT.Woodstown. WE EXAM!NE EYES FREE! YOU TH!NK YOUR EYES ARE OOOD ! If you have them examined you will probably Hnd that there is something wrong with them, and that glasses will be a great help to you. We uy inimitable "D!A M^NTA'Mcnses.^hiclr Solid Gold Speetacles $3.00; usual price $3.00 8teelSpectacles - - .30; usual price SCO Artihclal Eyes inserted 4.00; usuai price SC.OO M.Z!NEMM&BM.]HO S. Ninth St. OPTtCtAMS. !pmLAOELRmA, Setween Chetteut a<s < Watnut Street.. iVORY SOAP 99^ Pure. THE BEST FOR EVERY PURPOSE. HOUSE PALNHNG! The Subscriber is prepared to do ail kinds of House Tainting in a satisfactory manner, and at prices to suit the times. Having an exper ience of more than fifteen years in W oodstown, he can refer to many of our best families as to hisouaiiticationsetc. -MATERHALS FURNtSHED When desired, at the lowest current priceg. Particular attention paid to the HARD WOOD FINISH, Now so popular. Paper Hanging done at short notice. WILLIAM N. NIXON, WOODSTOWN. N. J. MariMf SEASON OF 1891. LADtES' AND GENTS' RESTAURA NTT —AND— ICE CREAM PARLORS. Special attention paid to the furnishing of THE BEST OYSTERS t'rc market alTordg. Davis' Famous Saiem County Ice Cream constancy on hand during the winter. LADtES PARLOR ALWAYS OPEN. Families and parties supplied with Oysters and Ice Cream at short notice at Lowest Kates. ERNST BECKER, Main Street, opposite the Post ORlce, WOODSTOWN, N. J. SOMETHING NEW. Jonathan Webster has started up his ROLLER MILL And is making a splendid article of Hour, which he offers wholesale and retail at reasonable prices. Also all kinds of feed constantly on hand. Orders left on my slate at the Post Office will receive prompt attention. GRtST WORK A SPEOALTY. ghest Market Price Paid for a!! kinds oi Crain. East Lake Ratter Mitts, Woodstown, N. J. Mart)-tf It is to your interest for 1892, to inspect my largo assortment of well-selected stock of MONUMENTS, GRAVE STONES, Ftagging for Graves, and Curb Stones, at prices that witi compete with any in the State. I had an exceedingly busy year the iast one, aud it is my object to far sur pass it this. My work for neatness and giviug satisfaction none can exceii. Con suit me by ietter or caii at my yard on East Avenue aud team prices before buy ing eisewbere. WM B. SNELBAKER, 3 4-ly WOODSTOWX. 30c. If you arc thinking of buying a kitchen carpet, LADD has them from 30 cents up. For the custom trade I have Wool Stripes from 36 cents up. Carpets woven at short notice. None but the best warp used. Egt* Aii orders caiied for and carpet de iivered within 12 miies of nrypiace. Send address and t witi caii with sampies. C. Allen avenue, Woodstown. Till! TIFF! OF /W? Life of Cen. T. Sherman by Chatncy M. Depew, Dr. Tainrage and other friends of the distinguished warr'or. A voiume of .100 pages in good cioth binding, beanti fuiiy iiiustrated, presented for 35 cents. Appty to REV. W. L. MAYO, ALLOWAY, X..). PILES CURED WITHOUT THE KNIFE. MRS. DR. FOSTER'S OitiKXTAL Pile and Bnrn Saive. T if 1-J (jitF A'i'FSJ it!JMFHY <)FTH F At j F!^ ly vegetabie substances, tmd possesses won derful healingoualities.ftcttdthefcilowittg reliabletesthnonial: \V(Mnlst<Mi!t,X.J..!)ec.23,i?<9!. X.!!. Foster, fbarAiadUfu—Havbtg tor f3 years suffered frotn a severe ease of idles, and s))enf hundredsofdoi!ara for ovety known tetnedytoalleviatentysntl'etlngs.fnyatle!) thutwaslatelv called to yottrHrietttal Pile Saivc. fbave used ai)ont eight boxes, which have effected a cotni)!ete cuti*. and 1 cannot saytooanrehinitspraise. fthassureiydone wonders in nty case, tmd ! can personaiiy re commoftdittoa!!. WM.C.mtoUAK. Philadelphia. i'a.,.'nlylti.fH;d. Mts. Foster, Hear Afadattt—f suffered with piies for three years, trying various retnedies without getting any telief, until your salve was rccotnmcttded tonne. t tried it and was cured in fhreefnonths, and ! cheerfully re conuncud thissalve^toall.^ -fcHiX KUJS.^ wfa'lesale or retail front H* Yoster. Mtrin sHect.Woodstown, N.j. lFiSgut A WHO AVORKS AN EUROPEAN NOSLEMA ? LABORING HARO FOR SMALL PAY. Wht) IVas at (^!:c iifno I.!onixeJ by New York's "Sw**!t Set, " Js Now an In terpreter o!* RHis Island. Ring want tho pilot's bell, the wheels splashed and we were oil for Ellis island, where i made the discovery which en ables me to tell this tale and right a wrong. Ellis island, unfamiliar to most New Yorkers, although at the very door of their harbor, is the place where immi grants land from the steerage of incom ing steamers. It is a place full of quaint and picturesque scenes of human life—a rare placo for a philosopher, and I found one such. "Who is that dark featured man with the heavy mustache?'' I inquired of an employee when he had made a landing. The subject of my query was bustling about in the swarm of foreigners, speak ing half a dozen languages at the same time; now showing some stupid Dutch man the way to the railroad "Sice; now saying a kind word to some forlorn Polish peasant woman; now speaking in perfect English to a fellow oiHcial, for the gold letters on his hat toid me that he was connected with tho service. There was something about the man which at once interested and puzzled me. "Ah! shure, sir, an that's the count, as we calls him, seein as ho wears them hoy toned clothes and toothpick shoes, but he's a dacent chap enough for all that, sir." 1 now noticed that "the count" was dressed in excellent, almost elegant style, his Prince Albert coat having cer tainly been made by a London tailor; his trousers falling in faultless lines and creases over a pair of patent leather shoes. Once or twice as he moved about I caught a glimpse of a scarlet waistcoat, such as the extreme swells of Paris are fond of wearing. His linen, too, was such as betrays tho gentleman, and the careful droop and curl of his black mus tache could only have been obtained by long familiarity with the curling irons. "Here," 1 rejected, "is a man who dresses and carries himself and looks like a howling European swell, acting as interpreter for a mob of unwashed emi grants. I wonder who he is?" I asked the question of another man wearing the ollicial cap. "He's the dude, that's what he is," was the only answer I could get. An other man called him "the baron," and finally I got bold of the chief of the rail road department, who gavo me the key to the puzzle. "The man you have noticed," said he, "is one of the most willing and eiEcient employees in my department, and you will bo moderately a^onisbed when 1 tell yon that ho is Known and received in the best society of a dozen cities, in cluding New York, London and Paras. He is no other than tho Baron de Grune baum." "What, the Baron do Grunebaum New York society made such a fuss over a few years ago?" "Precisely. The Baron de Grune baum, whom Mrs. Astor and all the rest of the Four Hundred danced with and lionized." 1 he baron was bowmg to a tat woman enveloped in an antique shawl with the same courtly ease ho might have dis played in saluting a millionaire partner at the Patriarchs' ball. A woman was a woman wherever ho found her! "Do you suppose he would mind talk ing with me';" I asked, forgetting my own business in this newly aroused in terest. "I will ask him," said the good heart ed superintendent, and he, presently re turned with his distinguished employee. A few words put us at our ease, and the baron, not without hesitation, finally ac cepted my invitation to a quiet dinner a few days later. Then he went back to his duties and I to mine. The dinner came, and I hope tho baron enjoyed it as much as I did. The conversation was entirely in French, which he speaks, as he does English, German, Italian, Hungarian, Bohemian and I don't know how many others, with scarcely a trace of foreign accent. "Why, you know I came to America about eight months ago at the wish of my father," he said; "but stop a moment, these papers have said so much that is false and outrageous about me that I am not sorry to have a chance to set myself right. I will tell you how my father came to send me to America. I had been living at a pretty rapid pace, with gam bling and so on, and had run myself into debt up to the eyes, as I thought I had a right to do, being the only son of a man who is immcnsciy wealthy. Things came to a crisis about a yc;M* ago, and I ap pealed to my father, who promised to pay my creditors if I would show my in tention of living a more serious life by going to America and taking a ranch out in Nebraska, where he thought the healthful outdoor vrork would get me into better habits. I agreed and came to America with about $20,000 capital, which he advanced me. That was all I could have under any circumstances for a year to come. "Unfortunately, soon after landing in New York I made t tic acquaintance of a delightful feilow who persuaded mu to invest my money in Chicago Gas stock at fifty-two. Ho said I would have $100,000 in a month. So I would and more had he made the investment a little later, for Chicago Gas has since touched eighty. As it was, the stock broke on some ru mor aud my margin was wiped out and I was left without rcsoufccs. I could not go hack to Europe because of tho promise I made to my father; I was too proud to beg; I was incapable of doiug a dishonorable action, so 1 sought such employment as I could get, aud you have seen what 1 have found. If I have been foolish and extravagant I have been the only one to sutler for my fellies, and I Mn trying to take my medicine, as you tav in America, like a man.' Paper Floor. That W'H J-ot Mura. Paper properly treated with cheuuc.ua and the - subjected to great pressure is being used for Hooring material and for general use in budding as a Are resisting substance.—New York Journal. !<K!SWMOUKt(; UtaWheeterWUcox teftsWnat Keeps ^om< Young Men From Marryfua KHa ^iteeier Witcox in the Cadres /TameJiihrriafdeprecatrts !it;- tendency of American girls to the habit of bragging. Onty last week,she writes,Iaskedayottng bachelor wito is comfortably situated in life, wltyite did notmarry? "Weil, I will te)ivou,"iierepiitl. "I want a home, wbicitofcourse.meansa wife, hut [am discouraged about making the venture, f admired a young lady greatly, and was be ginningtotlriukseriously of paying tier court. She seemed to be n.y ideal. Site was a model daughter,progressive minded, inteliigent, iudustrious. Shewas aiways neatiy but simpiy dresst d and Iter cheer fulness wasiikeasutittyday. Recently I metheron the street jttst as she was emerging frnmamilliner'sestablishment. "'geemy new hat:"she said brigittiv, asl walked aiougby tier side. "Isn't it pretty.?' "I had not itoticed tite new hat, but now Isawahimpieopcnwurkstraw.tn which retrosed a few flowers attd a bow of ribbon. "'^es, veryjtrettyaudbecoming.'Irc piied. Ihavaafiner one being made,'site con tinued. 'TitisisoulyahackafTatr. I paid ouiy twettty tloiiars for it. Ir. is stvi isb,ttiough, for tite price, Ithittk.' "Myheartsaukatheriigiitwayofcs. timatingcost. Ihavettosisters, and my mother possesseti a kttack of trimming tier own bonnets, solftavc never knowuwltat iadies hats cost. It ttiatsimplebitof straw and ribbou cost twenty do]iars,w]iat wouid be ttte price of tite 'fintr itat being made?' Titirtydoliarsatieast. Ireaiized at once my in rhtiity to properly support a girt wito paid fifty doltars for two ttats in one fleeting season. What a fortune it wouid require to furuisb ai) her wardrobe at that rate? Aetshe isso simply dressed to ail appearances; nothing at alishowy about her. IsupposealigirisinherBtationpay as much fot her ciothes, and so I think I wiitieave marriage for ticber meu. The averageyoungmaucanturtstand that sort ofthiug, Iassureyott. ' Now, I ttappened to know wito titis young womau w as,and I happened to know that she vtas not an extravagant girt. If she had paid twenty doiiars fur a bat it was an unusuai expenditure for tier, and woutd tronbte her censcieuce and purso for mattyaday, and cause her ntttcit seif denialinotherdirectious. Rutshep.ssessedthefttttlistttdeasoprcv alentinthisags of great for;un-s, that met] adntlre wttmen who use money lavish ly,and who py targe prices for their garments. MAY): t or W) AM ifyou have don't wait until the trouble be comes ao aggravated that nothing can help you, when you mays) easily barn what wi][ be of immediate and permanent beue bt,—toyouoi-anyofyour friends hating pulmonary troubie,—through reading a splendid paper on "The Consumptives' Clime," publishtd in Demorrsf) Ftmtly JAryaa-ne for May. Thi; article is hand somely illustrated with numerous views of health resorts and other beautiful places in Colorado, and will interest every robust person,as weli as those seeking a congenial clime. At) illustrated paper on "Tbs Grape bruit is also seastuable, furnisniug valua. blc information regarding this—to many— unfamiliar fruit, especially about its bene 6cial qualities as an alterative in the spring. "In Persia's Palaces, ' with its many iiiustrations, gives a comprehensive idea of woman s life in that Pastern clime; "Next Summer's garden is just in time to be of practica! use; there is a Decorati on Day story, "The Voodoo Charm," aud a Decoratiou Day poem "Our Truce," beau, tifully illustrated, besides other good stories; "Chat" teiis about the latest fads, ftom "Home Arts" you can learn "How to Frame Pictures" yourself, and all the other departments are running over w ith seasonable matter: and, besides three ful' page pictures, there are uearly 200 iilustra tions. Indeed, every member of the fatniiy is sure to find something of personal inter est in every uumber of Demorest's Family JAryorlrtc, and it is published fur oniy $2 a year, by W. Jennings Demurest, 1.1 H. 14i.h tot., New York. AWMMAS s )AH ) r \r r Mrs. Feni r, widow Geo John A. Foster devotes her time to a peculiar form of phil anthropy. She visits police courts and pi isms to help and comfort unfortunate women who justly or unjustly g<t eu tantledinthc law. S) great is her in fluerce over even the most depraved wo man that jaiiers frequently send for her when they have unmanageable cases in the cells, and as oneofthem has said: "I've bad poor creatures here who would swear aud shriek by the hour in spi'c of ail wo could do, and if Mrs. Foster would come and sit down outside the bats, in five minutes these she devils would he bolding her bands through the bars and crying, all quiet aud subdind. Aud she d. sen't say j much either. That's what beats me out." ! J H1HSKHO! MS Andsoofthe nearing of brothers and si>ttrstuwardnLcanot!nr. There is a deal of—brutality^hall we sa\?—certainty ofhu!garity,i:t the tehavior of brothers towardtheirsistt-r?, attdftr^Brrs^. Fora boy or a youttg matt to be courteous to his sister in an old fashioned vtrtue, itt ntany j familiesitisquiteoutofdate. Ma^qnly itisnotwhollyextiuct, for there are still many young meninthe world wltow4)uld set rn to treat even their ststers w ith rude ness. Htitthehabitoidiscourtcsymthc family is quite too prevalettt, attd we art* sorry to say thatthere,too,thewrong-doing is not conAned to thr ^'stet tter sex."— Fot'A* A.t uwt'/tfr. GKA*!** t) TME Qt ES1HUX A tt ho Me!!€ve<* ohe ^BUers^^^o^^ rhe KuhrtMg Sen AHa!r "I wish you would tel! me all about the Behring Sea diSijuhy the newspapers are talking of so much," said Airs. Snaggs to her husband, "I an) so ignorant of these things, and yet I think women ought to take just as much interest in them a8 their husbands, don't you?" * "I do, indeed," replied Staggs, "and i'll take great pleasure in explaining it to you. Iu the first place the dispute is between the Lnited States and England, and it turns whether tins country can prevent the catchiDg of seals-" " Oh, I see it exactly now," Mrs bnaggs interrupted gleefuiiy. ' Queen Victoria is afraid she won t get enough sealskins for English women to wear if Mr. Biaiue doesn't let Englishmen go fishing for them." "Aes," her husband resumed, "you are getting to understand the question. Now, last season there was a modus-" "Ob, 1 know. Modus is the latin word for mode, im't it? The mode last season was quite long sealskin. It was real be coming, too; but, if you remember you wouidu tietme buy oue. You said we couldn t afford it. Why couldu t weaffutd it, deal? I'd look so well in a sealskin,if I do say it myself." "As I was saying," Snaggs resumed, but ignoring ids wife's question; "as I was saying,England refuses to renew the mod us viveudi uuder which iast season's catch was reguiated. and-" "It does ready seem a pity to kid these innoceut seals to get their skins, doesn't it?" Airs. Snaggs interrupted again. "They do look so cuuuiug in the water., I saw some of them in Central Park. I heir coats were so glossy aud shiny when they came out of the water and climbed up on the bank. You saw them, too, didn't you?" Aeslsaw them. I am so glad that you understand the Behriug Sea question so throughiy," Suaggs added,as he put on his hat to go down street. I was afraid you wouldn't." "Oj, you m<m think women can't grasp these pubiie questions," his wife replied proudly, "hut they cau wheu they put their minds to it." And Airs. Saaggs resumed her labor of "noiking" a yellow dog ou a red sofa tidy. AAfMA), FMtH) A Theory That the Eattng of Ffeth to t ondartt e of Fhystca) strength. Many races tifmeiilivo entirely on ani mal food, and these are the most itardy aud from aii I have been able to gather on the subject the most free from diseases of a]) hinds. Sit Francis Mead savs of the Matnpusfitdiaus: "They are ai) horse men, or, ratiter, [tags tiieiriivcson horse back. In spite of the ciimate, which is burning hot in summer and freezing in win ter, these brave men, who have never been subdued, are entirety naked and have not eveuacoveriugfortheirhead. Theyiive together in tribes, but they have no Hied piace of residence. Where the pasture is good there they are to be found unti] it is consumed by their horses, and they iustautiy move to another spot. They have neither bread, fruit nor vegetables, buttiioysubsistentirelyou thoHeshof their mares." Describing the effect ouhimseli of this diet, Sir Francis says: "After I had been ridiug three or four months, and hadi'vedoubeefand water, I found myself in a condition which I can otiiy describe by saying I feit that uo ex ertion couid kiii me, aithough I constancy arrived so compieteiy exhausted that I could not speak,yet a few hours sieepupon my saddie ott the ground aiways so com pieteiy restored me that for a week I couid daily be upon my horse before sunrise, couid ride tiii two or thrte hours after sun set, and have ready tired ten or tweivt horses a day. This wiii expiain tho im m-nsedi'tanceswhici) peopie hi South Ameiica are said to ride, w hich I am con fident couid only be doue on beef and water. The (roaches of the Argentine Hepubiic iive entirety ou roast beef and sait, scarceiy ever tasting farinaceous or other vegetable food, aud their sole bever age is mate or I'araguay tea takeu without sugar.—Ceiiffemarr's .Mryorine. "MS T BE !S HASTE break od a!) oid aud tried fnendship. Togivead^^ecwit!loutbJiug asked for it. Deiiberationisthdgreatpreveutivoof misery. To contract a new and doubtfui aiiiauce. To spend your sa!ary in advance of earning it. To!nakeioveton)orethtu oue woman atatime. To give up a reputabie business to dab bie in poiitics. To biame your c!)iidren for foiiowing vouri)adcxatnp!es. Tuquarreinitityourwifc because site criticises ^our fauits. To take part in the differences between yourneigiibors. Togiec up a safe, but pi^niding business for a buhbic specuiauon. To accept the scandaious stories ^ou [tear cot.cernittg other peopie. Oiw:t!tyouri)usb.itdbc<:Au;cindofsnt teii you everytiting ite knows; th wit!) your sweetheart because site Lteats (Uiter genttemcn with courtesy; (hwithyouriover because isemixest eomuuu. sense witi) ids iove-making. € Meaittn hew suffered from Constipation and was pured i)y f)r. Pawn! Kennedy's Favorite Hcntedy*' XeiiieA. MtQuade, Amster. tiam, X. Y. "i)r. Kettnedy's Favortto itemedy cured tne of Biiuding sick hc&d Acitesanditaveitad no return of tiitun <ince using !i)is medicine." Mrs. Xic!)o!s, i^o3i:ester. X Y EXTAN^HEO HE! AHfUtSSH! A few days ago a mac in Pennsylvania i married the young sister of the wife of his ! son, and the newspapers there are amusing themselves with figuring out the relation ships which this marriage creates. The bridebecjmesthe mother-in-law of her eider sister, and the iatter the daughter-Rr law of her younger sister. The father and sonbccomebrot!)ersin!aw and the child ren of the son, of whom there are five, be come the grandchiidren of their aunt. Tins is very simpie compared to the j problem which was proposed for solution some years ago, when it was asserted that 'there were two families, whom we may caii Smith and Joues, which proceeded to I mix thmnse!vc3 up in a way that puzzled students of genealogy and wouh! have driven a whole college of heralds crazy. Mrs. Smith was a widow with a daugh ter, aud Mr. Jones was a widower with a on. Jones, Sr., married the daughter, and Jones, Jr., the mother. There were children boru to each marriage, and thru the question arose: What re ation were thechildrentoeach other, and what and how many kinds of relationship did they bearto their parents? This life is not long euough to untangle the skein, but we remember that one brilliant genius, after speeding a great deal of time and labor over the problem triumphantly announced ashiscouclusion of the vexed question that all the children were their own grar d fathers and grandmothers. We sometimes hear it said, "So and-so is only a relation by marriage/' and we do notstoptothinkthat all legitima!e rela tionships are of this kiud. Tire law iu all ctvilizedccuntries regulates all relation ships with much care. Rxing the degree of kiudred.buteveryone,ifitbe reduced to its lowest terms, is a relationship by or by virtue of marriagt? Iu America a distinction in terms is made which does not seem to obtain in England. Here the term ''stepfather' has a very different meaning from "father in-law." but many of the best English writers of fiction speak of the stepfather aathefatheriulaw. Thetermis prula bly more nearly correct than stepfather! butitisdecidedlyconfusiugand perplex ing to the American reader who sees it for theRrsttime P* AYEMTHEBVt SMEK A few nights ago a young mau sat in the waiting-roomof a little railroad station ab3ut ten miles from Philadelphia, dozing away the hour that was to elapse before his train was due. It was very warm in side, and bitterly raw aud wet outside, and the warmth and feehug of comfort at being protected from tbe storm bad lulled him almost to sleep as he snuggled into the corner in whtcb he sat. Suddenly the door opened and a pretty girl with a shawl on her head came in. *She glanced at the young mau and he watched her from under his drooping eyelids. She tip toed toward him and seemed bent on discover ing just how fast asleep he w as. There fore he simulated deep slumber, and with a sigh of relief the maid tipt<*ed away aud into the partitioned-oR space wherein sat tie young mau who wasstatiou master. "S h-h h! that fellow out there is fast asleep, * said the girl; "now don't muss me up,and don't wake him. I've just got about three min utes. Chat ley, so tell me just how much you love me,and I'll run back. " Then there was a soft cooing in Charlie's gentlest voice, and the young woman said: "I think your right hateful, why dou't you tell me you lo*e me with all your life and soul and being, like tbe fellow did in tl e play?" This was two much for the prt deuded sleeper, who also happened to be a telegraph operator himself. Quickly pulling out two half dollars he ticked this message sharply upon them. "Ah, tin re Charley. Go on tell her what she wait; to hear. Don't mind me." The next in stant there was a great pushing back of chairs in the inside ofRce. Charley gland out through the door at the young man, who was apparently agaiu asleep and then the pretty maid,blushiug as red as au ove' heated stove,darted out of the d(*or into the night. The young man smiled in his sleep untilthe train arrived. ME ZS A HZHAM Theoldest bit of slang which caule traced to a historical origin is said to be "Heisabnck." Pluchatd, inhis*'!ift" of Lycurgus, gives an account of the vhit of an ambassabor from Epirus to tbe city of Sparty, who saw much to admire a: d praise. But he woudered greatly that Sparta was not a walled town, and asktd the explanation of its lack of defensive works. No answer was returned that day. Early the next momiug, however—ftr the Spartans rose at dawn—the Epirote was awakened and conducted to the Re!d of exercise outside the city, where tl e army of Sparta w as drawn up in battle array. "There," said Lycurgus, "a e walls of Sparta and every mau is a brick." — CTfarfesfOR -New* aud Cburfar. SATAX AS A CENT! EH AS Afrieudwhohasgreatfaithiu the cat echism and teaches it with a pertinacity which would challenge the admiration of Calvin himself, is also very particular in instructing his children to speak very pol itely on all occasions. The result of his teachings is something amusing. This was the case one day whenhewas putting tie youngest of four through his preparatory course. The question wa< asked, "Who tempted Eve?" The little fellow, after a moment's thought, with an air of confidence replied: ' ICs the gentleman who lives in hel'. I've forgotten his name.—.A;M/*KuV. Father—"Well Timmy, how do you thiuk you U like this little fellow for a brother?" Tommy (inspecting the new infant some what doubtfully)— "Have we got to keep him. papa, or is he ouly a simple?"—CA7 cuy<? Rev ( . F Br<mha saysthathislittle girl is troubled with malaria very severely, and that since he gave her Sulphur Hitters, he never thinks of leaving New York for his summer re sort without afew bottles, for they al ways cure his familyandarc far super;„y to quiniue