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HIS SCHOONER Battleship Kearsarge Knocks Hole in the N. S. Ballut. HELD VESSEL WITH CRANES pivers Went Over the Side" of the War boat and Repaired the Damage Done, Enabling the Injured Vessel to Sail Within an Hour's Time Discipline of the Crew. Newport, R. I. Had it not been for the perfect discipline on the battleship Kearsarge five men, the crew of the two-masted schooner, N. S. Ballut, would have bene drowned when, in a dense fog, the warship ripped a big hole in the side of the smaller craft. As it was, the men were all rescued from the water five miles east of Point Judith, and the schooner, which ordin arily would have sunk, was held on the surface while the carpenters and divers from the Kearsarge repaired her so thoroughly that she was able within a few hours to proceed on her way. It was one of the most unusual marine accidents ever recorded. The Kearsarge, one of the battleship fleet of the North Atlantic Squadron, commanded by Rear-Admiral Evans, had taken a short practice spin at sea, and when the weather, became bad the signal to run for Newport Harbor was given. The fleet proceeded under full steam until the fog suddenly descend ed, when the boats reduced to half speed. The big horns and whistles of the Kearsarge were kept at work, but the fog was so thick that Captain John Andrews, of the Ballut, who, with his son and three men, had been on a fish ing cruise, could not locate the battle ship. Captain" Raymond Rodgers, of the Kearsarge, as soon as he saw the schooner ahead, gave the order to re verse. A moment later the steel prow of the battleship cut through the port side of the Ballut. k .Captain Rodgers gave the command at once to lower away all boats. The warship's crew fairly flew to the small boats and had them over the side be fore they stopped to see what had hap pened. They found the Bqllut quickly filling, listed badly to one side and in imminent danger of sinking. Captain Andrews and his son had been thrown into the sea and the three other men were struggling near them. The small boats picked them up within a few mo ments and carried them back to the Kearsarge. Captain Rodgers then ran his ship alongside the sinking schooner and swung his big steel cranes into action. They were capable of lifting a dozen times the weight of the schooner, and when chain were passed under the Ballut she was safe. The divers and mechanics from the warship then set to work. The latter boarded the damaged vessel while she hung suspended from the monster cranes, and after the hold was pumped out began to patch up the big hole stove in the schooner's side by the bat tleship's steel prow. The divers worked from the outside, and in about an hour the Ballut was ready to pro ceed on her way. In the meantime the rest of the bat tleship fleet had proceeded to this city to report the accident. The fog pre vented Captain, Rodgers from using his wireless apparatus. The racing crew of the Kearsarge had been pitted to row a twelve-oared race with the Hibernian Boat Club, of Newport, the stake being $1000 a side. Captain Rodgers was anxious for his men to reach Newport for the race. Without a word, however, the men weht at the work of standing by and repairing the Ballut while the cranes held her up, and there was not a murmur about the purse which might have been for feited. When Admiral Evans reached here with his other ships. 34,000 persons lined the shores to see the cutter race, and the local crow was ready for the contest. When informed of the acci dent, however, .they gladly agreed to the postponement of the race until the next morning. When the Kearsarge's divers report- eu uer in gooa snape, Captain Andrews and his crew returned to the Ballut and set sail for Portmouth, R. I. DUNNE SEES PROFIT. ; Chicago Mayor's Traction Expert Plans 264 Miles of Railway. Chicago. 111. Mayor Dunne's pro posed system of 264 miles of munici pal street railways can be built so as to be in operation by January 1, 1908, and will show a net proflt to the city of more than $4,000,000 a year, after five per cent, has been paid to stock holders, under the contract plan, ac cording to the report and estimates of B- Dupont, the Slayer's traction ex pert. The report made public says the sys tem can be built for 23,000.000 if the overhead trolley is used within the down-town district as well as residence districts. The estimated cost-$5 OOOincludes the items of track construction, cars, power plant and buildings. BRIEF FIRE ON THE OCEANIC. Outbreak in Steerage at Liverpool Soon Put Out Sailing Not Delayed. Liverpool, England. Fire broke out in the steerage of the White Star Line steamer Oceanic, but it was promptly extinguished by .the crew. The dam age was trifling. . Czar Receives Our Ambassador. Mr. Meyer, the American Ambassa dor, was received in audience by the Russian Emperor at Peterhof, Russia, and remained there three hours. A Ro?s- $tch was sent to President Girl Slept in Tark. KpiiLW?k said she was Florence Cpntr, i? f exPu she had slept in Central Park, New York City for the an? ssisted onSps o? of food discarded by picnickers. MISS ROOSEVELT'S TQUR Daughter of President to Be Guest of China's Dowager Empress.. . Taft Party to Divide, Some Returning Home, While Others WlllJoar ney to Pekin. Tacloban, via Manila. The transport Logan arrived here in the morning with, Secretary Taft and party on board. After a few more days spent in visit ing some of the neighboring islands the Logan will proceed to Hong Kong, where the party will separate, Secre tary Taft, with most of the Senators and Representatives who have been making the trip, returning direct to the United States, while Miss Roose velt will proceed to Pekin as the spe cially invited guest of the- Dowager Empress of China. She will sail for America on October 7 on the steamer Siberia of the Pacific Mail Company. The party which will accompany the daughter of the President on this pe culiarly interesting journey will be small and select. Representatives Longworth or Coch ran, both will be among the guests who will go on this visit to the Em press. Senators Newlands and Warren and Representative Gillette will make up the party, which, will be in charge of Major-General and Mrs. Corbin and Mrs. Slocum. Miss Roosevelt is keenly interested in her prospective introduction to the Empress Tsi An, the woman who is the real ruler of China. It is not easy to imagine a more dramatic meeting than this of the East and the West the one world-weary and cumbered with the dust of slothful centuries, represented by the aged woman whose merciless lust for power has made her one of the wonders and the horrors of modern history, the other, the living New World, typified by the young American girl. It is not many years ago that the Dowager Empress credibly was be lieved to have been the prime instiga tor of the Boxer uprising; it at least Is certain she bitterly hated the "foreign devils," against whom the rising prin cipally was directed. Since the march of the allies to Pekin, however, the Empress has shown a more friendly face toward Europeans, and her special invitation to Miss Roosevelt well may have a significance that wHl win the occasion a place in Chinese history at a later date. The old Empress is a unique person ality in the world to-day. More than seventy years old, she has exercised practical sovereignty over the . huge Chinese empire for more than forty years, and in such a masterful fashion that she, has made her power felt not only throughout the length and breadth of her own empire, but in all the chan celleries of Europe. She has been compared alike to Queen Elizabeth of England and Catherine of Russia, and it may be added that she always took an almost childish interest in every thing that concerned Queen Victoria, keeping elaborate scrapbooks filled en tirely with pictures and clippings con cerned with the principal events of her life. Yet this woman, who has shown such a remarkable gift for governing, was not born to the purple. She was only one of the many secondary wives of the Emperor, Hien Fung, but it was her son who succeeded to the throne at the age of five, and through his long minority she held the reigns of power. The mysterious death of the young man shortly after he attained his ma jority and assumed authority is only one of the many crimes that have been laid at the door of the Empress. It is the contrast between such a char acter and such a career as that of Tsl An and the natural environment and personality of an American girl like Miss Roosevelt that will go to make the meeting between the two so in tensely picturesque. MORE BURTON CHARGES. Assertion That the Kansas Senator Practiced Other Frauds. Washington, D. C The publication of the charges against Senator Burton of taking fees from the Chickasaw In dians while he was Senator unloosed the tongues of high officials in the In terior Department, and two other se rious charges came out. One Is that Burton never made any appearance in business for the Chickasaws before the Interior Department, but that he represented to the head men of the tribe that he did, and collected large fees from them for his alleged services. Burton, before he became Senator, represented to Secretary Hitchcock, it is said, that he had been selected by the Chickasaws as their counsel, and asked him, as Secretary of the Inter ior, to approve his contract with the tribe. Mr. Hitchcock refused to do so on the ground that the Chickasaws did not need an attorney. Notwith standing this rebuff Burton, it is charged, made the Indians think he was looking after their interests, and proceeded to collect his pay from their funds, which were not under the con trol of the Secretary of the Interior. Another charge against the Kansan is that while he was Senator he pre sented a claim from a ranchman in Texas to the effect that the man lost 800 cattle during a fight between Uni ted States forces and Comanche In dians, which took place on his ranch. The amount claimed was 25,000, for which Burton succeeded in getting judgment in favor of his client. A number of men who lived in the vicinity are said to have reported to the department that while there was a fight the claimant never had 800 cat tle, but had at the time abotft eighty, and they were fully 200 miles away from the sene of the fight. Japs Refloat Destroyer. The Japanese refloated the Russian torpedo boat-destroyer Silni at Port Arthur. : American Ear Association Meets. The twentieth annual session of the American Bar Association was held at Narragansett Pier. University of Chicago to Build. President Harper announced that the University of Chicago, at Chicago, 111., had $6,000,000 for building purposes. 1 M m m m - Wfcolesale Prices Quoted in New York The Milk Exchange price for standard quality is 2c. per quart. . BUTTER, Creamery Western, extra.? 21$ 22 Firsts 20 21 State dairy tubs, firsts.... 19 20 Imitation creamery 15 19 Factory, thirds to firsts... 15 17 CHEESE. State, full cream, fancy.... 3 10 Small (g 10 Part skims, good to prime 6 . 8 Part 6kims, common 5 Full skims - 1 2 Eaas. Jersey Fancy 26 28 State and Penn 26 28 Western Choice 22 23 BEANS AND PEAS. Beans Marrow, choice.... 3 55 3 CO Medium, choice.. .. .... 2 22 2 25 Pea, choice 1 75 1 77 Red kidney, choice 3 10 3 15 White kidney.. 3 65 3 75 Yellow eye. 2 00 Black turtle soup 3 70 3 75 Lima, Cal . ........ 3 85 FKC1TS AND BERRIES FRESH. Apples, Pippin, per hbl.... 2 00 3 00 Codling, per bbl 2 25 3 00 Huckleberries, per qt 5 11 Muskmelons, per box 25 1 25 Watermelons, per 100 6 00 18 00 . Blackberries, per qt 10 12 Peaches, per basket 35 (3; 1 75 Pears, Kiefer, per bbl 1 00 2 50 Bartlett, per bbl 3 00 4 25 Plums, per qt 3 5 UVE POULTRY. Fowls, per lb 13 Spring chickens, per lb.... 14 15 Roosters, per lb 9 Turkeys, per lb 13 Ducks, per pair.. 50 (a), 80 Geese, per pair 1 00 (gj 1 25 Pigeons, per pair. 20 DRESSED POULTRY. Turkeys, per lb 13 17 Chickens, Phila., per lb.... 18 20 Fowls, per lb 10 13 Spring ducks, L. 1., per lb. 17 Squabs, per dozen 1 50 2 50 HOPS. State. 1904, choice 23 24 Medium to prime 20 22 Pacific Coast, 1904, choice.. 23 24 Old odds 9 11 XIAT AND STRAW. Hay, prime, per 100 lb 90 No. 1, per 100 lb 80 (a). 85 No. 2, per 100 lb 75 77 Clover mixed, per 100 lb. 55 70 Straw, long rye 60 .75 VEGETABLES. Potatoes, L. I., per bbl.... 1 75 Jersey, per bbl 1 50 1 75 Sweets, per basket 75 (a 1 50 Turnips, per bbl 1 00 1 25 Tomatoes, per box 20 1 25 Egg plant; per box 25 50 Squash, per bbl 75 1 00 Peas, per bag 50 1 25 Peppers, per box 20 30 Lettuce, per basket 1 25 1 75 Cabbages, per 100 4 00 6 00 String beans, per basket... 35 1 00 Onions, L. I., per bbl 1 50 2 00 Conn., white, jer bbl.... 2 00 3 00 Jersey, per basket 50 1 00 Celery, per dozen bunches. 15 50 Carrots, per bbl 1 25 1 50 Beets, per 100 bunches 75 1 00 - Cucumbers, per bbl 1 50 3 50 Cucumber pickles, per 1000. 1 50 3 00 Lima beans, par basket.... 50 1 50 Corn, per 100 50 1 00 Cauliflower, per bbl 1 50 2 GO Radishes, per 100 bunches.. (5 75. Okra, per basket 75 1 03 GRAIN. ETC. Flour Winter patents .... 4 25 (? 4 75 Spring patents 5 00 G 10 Wheat. No. 1 N. Duluth... 02 No. 2 red 86 87 Corn, No. 2 white...' 61 Oats, mixed 30 30 Clipped white 34 igj 35 Lard, city 7 UVE STOCK. Beeves, city dressed. . .. .. 8 10 Calves, city dressed 9 12 Country dressed S 11 Sheep, per 100 lb 3 50 5 00 Lambs, per 100 lb 6 75 6 82 Hogs, live, per 100 lb 5 60 6 70 STORES IN WESTERN TOWNS. Effect of the Wheat Craze and Pros peri ty Kansas City, Mo. In. the small towns new stores are being opened everywhere. For several years im provements have been chiefly confined to residences and repairs to buildings. Empty houses were filled, and unoc cupied stores began to have tenants. Now there is'seai'cely an empty store building, and many new structures are seen in almost every village. Some little towns in the wheat belt have added a dozen store rooms to their capacity this year. This means a great deal bf additional trade, and is the best index of the effect of generous returns from the fields. In the furnishing of their homes the farmers are also making great strides. Common furniture of the varnished oak variety is not good enough for the av erage farm house these days. The plush parlor suite is a drug on the market. Going into a farm house 200 miles west of here the other day, a vis itor found it fitted out with mission furniture, with Flemish oak bookcases and Remington pictures on the wall. It was typical of the tendency toward better taste in adornment. This indi cates a new era in business, for it calls for a higher standard of supply in thew holesale market. Sardine Famine. Three years ago there was a famine among the fishing folk in Brittany, ow ing to the total disappearance of sar dines from the French waters. This year the distress will be terrible, for the sardine season is a complete fail ure. Six hundred boats were expected to return to Doiiarnenez, France, full of sardines, but they came back empty, with the exception of about fifty, and these had only small hauls. The bait used by the fishermen, which comes from Newfoundland, is also very dear in Brittany, costing 47f.? or nearly 10, a ton. Arrested For Crop Scandal. Frederick A. Peckham was arrested .in Saratoga, N. Y., having been Indict :ed in Washington,, D. C, for conspiracy ito defraud the Government in connec tion with the cotton crop report scan IdaL Vandals Cut Cables. Vandals cat the power cables of the new Lenox avenue drawbridge over the Harlem River, in New York City, necessitating a - postponement of the 0PC3Xi?lQ c3cnjcnics - . : CITY WATCHES AIRSHIP Roy Knabsnshue Makes Successful Flight Orer New York. Tat Crowds Stop and Gaze at the Novel SpectacleAeronaut Sailed a liong Distance New York City. For the second time since his arrival in this city, A. Roy Knabenshue treated New Yorkers to a view of a real airship soaring thou sands of feet above them and re sponding to the demands of the daring navigator in almost perfect fashion. The exhibition was even more remark able than the previous one when Knabenshue sailed around a Longacre Square skyscraper. Almost 10,000 persons had gathered near the lot at Sixty-second street and Central Park West long before the hour for the start, and, after the ship ascended, business in one of the busiest sections of the city, from Fourteenth to Seventy-second streets and from Eighth, avenue to the East River, prac tically was suspended. The fact that an airship was sailing over the city seemed to have a magic charm. As it appeared in the sky fac tories, stores, hotels and cars were emptied, and every one stood still with eyes turned toward the strange craft. Even Bellevue Hospital felt the thrill, and as soon as the ship was sighted attendants,- surgeons and many patients rushed for the street. The police had their hands full along the entire lane of flight, and when the craft finally was carried back to its tent the general marvel was that no one had been injured severely in the many crushes. Additional excitement was caused by the announcement that Knabenshue would throw checks for $100 apiece from his ship on tne voyage. He scat tered a mass of papers, and every time anything white descended there was a mad scramble for possession. Instead of checks the crowd found most of the white sheets were pieces of newspaper, and there was anger at the manner in which the crowds had been fooled. It was a little after 2 p. m. that the airship, was ready to go up. Knaben shue stepped on the thin framework attached to the balloon, tilted the nose of the ship upward and began to as cend. The craft left the lot gracefully, responding to every movement of the navigator, and in less than a minute it had cleared the fence and was sailing over Central Park. A crowd of 15,000 watched the start, and a great cheer went up as the aeronaut appeared. The reserves from five precincts were on hand, to maintain order, but the first view of the ship caused the policemen to lose all interest in the crowd and de vote their attention to watching the flight. After going up about 1500 feet Kna benshue started in a northerly direc tion, heading against the wind. He went through several maneuvres to show; the dirigibllity of his balloon; then, turning around, he went south east. As he started down town the cheers that went up were deafening. As soon as the ship was sighted in upper Broadway business and traffic came practically to a standstill. Mo tormen stopped their cars and jumped to the street to get a better view of the strange craft. Passengers sprang from their seats, and in a moment the tradi tional hurry of New Yorkers was for gotten. No one seemed to care about anything except the airship. It was Knabenshue's fntention to cir cle the Flatiron building, but because of the strong wind he was unable to do so. In his efforts to accomplish the feat he rose to a height of 5000 feet, until the big ship looked no bigger than the ordinary toy balloon. When he gave up the attempt he turned north at Twenty-third street and Third ave nue. The ship had descended to about 1000 feet just before reaching Twenty-third street, when the navigator slipped to the rear of the framework and tilted its nose upward. It rose almost per pendicularly, and to those in the street it seemed the young man surely would be killed. He remained in that posi tion until the ship had descended about 3000 feet. Then he headed back to ward the starting point. Reaching the park, Knabenshue steered the ship over the trees to the ball ground. As he came down It looked as if he would land on top or the trees, but by deft manipulation he guided his ship upward again until he had passed them. Then he descended slowly and gracefully to a knoll, oa which the ship landed. As it came down every one in the street rushed for the ball ground. The 200 bluecoats who had been sent to the park were helpless units in the sea of hunianity. As Knabenshue de scended he was greeted with round after round of cheers, and men and women fairly mobbed him in their ef forts to shake his hands. Before the police could interfere the crowd had pushed the navigator back on the framework of the ship. Then, lifting it on their shoulders, they carried him in triumph back to the lot. OUR MINISTER IN VENEZUELA. Mr. William W. Russell Presents His Credentials. Caracas. William W. Russell, the new American Minister to Venezuela, presented his credentials to President Castro, by whom he was cordially re ceived. Prices of Hides Soar. Prices of hides are at the highest po sition since the Civil War. Santos-Dumont's New Trial. M. Santos-Dumont made an ascent at Trouville, France, venturing over the sea with his latest model aiiship, Sultan Proposes to Miss Roosevelt. The Sultan of Sulu, who has six, wives, proposed marriage to Miss Alicej Roosevelt. Government Painters Strike. The painters employed at the Wash ington (D. C.) Navy Yard went on strike for an increase of wages. u. A " j WASHINGTON. Edwin S. Holmes, Jr., the former as sociate statistician of the Agricultural Department, was indictedfor conspir acy to defw"! the Government in con nection witL e cotton leak. .A return of summer heat ha& driven all persons, who are able, out of the city to cooler climes. The White House is undergoing its usual annual overhauling, during the absence of the President and family. Edwin H. Conger, Ambassador to Mexico, resigned from ' the diplomatic service, to take effect October IS. OUR ADOPTED ISLANDS. The cruiser Rainbow, the flagship of the Philippine squadron, with Rear- Admiral George C. Reiter on board. went ashore at the mouth of the Agu san River, Butuan Bay, in Northern Mindanao. Admiral Train dispatched tugs to the assistance of the Rainbow. The Taft party was welcomed at Le- gaspi, on Luzon Island. Advices from Zamboanga say that three great, demonstrations were held there in honor of Secretary Taft and party. All the tribes in the Moro provinces and the leading Dattos were represented. The steamer Siberia, which sailed from San Francisco, Cal., on August .lb made the trip to Honolulu in four days, nineteen hours and twenty min utes. DOMESTIC. Word was received at Wilkesbarre, Pa., that in response to a request to the President t the name would be cnangea to wiiKes-5arre. During a terrific electric storm at Atlanta, Ga., James McDauiel was killed by lightning, 1000 telephones were burned out and many buildings were damaged. George L. Marsh, arrested at Brock ton, Mass., on suspicion that he was connected with the Bate murder in Illi nois, was released, Chicago officers be ing junable to identify him. The Jefferson Club, of Chicago, 111., will on September 15 give a farewell banquet to W. J. Bryan, prior to his departure for a trip around the world. Wayne Beattle, a Brooklyn National Guardsman, in camp at New City Fair Ground, New York, was drowned while bathing. Ex-Mayor Truman H. Newberry, of Detroit, Mich., is slated as Postmaster General Cortelyou's successor. There were many new cases and sev eral deaths from yellow fever in New Orleans. Wallace Macfarlane, counsel for the Equitable Life Assurance Society, filed answer to the suit brought against the society by Attorney-General Mayer in New York City. Figures showed that four-fifths- of the babies born in Manhattan, New York City, are of foreign parentage. Samuel M. Clemens ("Mark. Twain") is slowly recovering from a severe at tack of gout at his summer home, at Edgewood, Va. Baron Kaneko, the Japanese states man, visited the President at Oyster Bay, N. Y. The funeral of Vinson Walsh, who met with death in an automobile ac cident, was held at Newport, R. I. The bodies of Harris Lindsley and his fiance, who were killed in an auto mobile crash, were buried together at Manchester, N. H. The court of inquiry on the explo sion on the gunboat Bennington found that the vessel'3 boilers were not de fective, and suggested a court-martial for Ensign Charles T. Wade, the only one surviving of those whom the court held responsible for the accident. The Lake Erie Sanger Bezirk, with 500 members attending, held a two days' session at Detroit, Mich. Hugh McMullin, a structural iron worker, of New York City, was cut to pieces by a train at North Branch, Md. After a week's search, Frank Hoban, who escaped from the State Hospital at Scranton, Pa., was found near Mos cow, Pa. Charged with stealing jewels worth $1000 from Miss Grace Wills, in Bal timore, Md., Edward Graham, alias James Maynard, was arested at Sara toga, N. Y. The Trans-Mississippi Congress voted to meet in Kansas City, Mo., in 1906. Apache Indians are reported to be committing all sorts of depredations in Southwestern Socorro County of New Mexico, and rangers will be sent after them. While the "death watch" looked on Lambert Nichaus, who was to be hanged, killed himself in his cell in the jail at St. Louis, Mo., by stabbing himself in the abdomen. , FOREIGN. Russian soldiers made drunk for the purpose, butchered Jews in Blalistock, it was reported. Charles King, the American who was to be hanged at Edmonton, Canada, September 1, has been granted a re prieve until September 30, on account of the inauguration of a new Governor on September 1. The British steamer Haralong and the. Japanese transport Mingio collided in the Island Sea. The transport was sunk and 1C0 men were drowned. Emperor Nicholas, at St. Petersburg, Russia, has accepted the resignation of M. Bouligin as Minister of the In terior. Count Alexis Ignatieff, a mem ber of the Council of the Empire and former Governor General of Kieff, it is thought, will probably succeed him. It was announced in London, Eng land, that a new treaty of alliance be tween England and Japan had been signed. In a conflict between Russian troops occupying Crete and insurrectionists the Russians lost twenty soldiers and the Cretans sir killed. A conspiracy among troops encamped near Moscow was discovered and twenty -six arrests were made. At a mass meeting in Moscow dhe Czar's Assembly project was de nounced .and universal suffrage was demanded With the Funny The Antidote. "Of all sad words of tongue or pen. The saddest are these: 1 'It might have been " But one small phrase annuls the curse, And that, is this: "It might have been worse. -New York Sun. lacking in Experience. "Somebody who calls himself Profes sor Trent, claims that Daniel Defoe, who wrote 'Robinson Crusoe,'' was the greatest liar that ever lived." "I guess the professor never met one of our expert campaign liar s'-Cleve land Plain Dealer. A Method of Selection. "Where is your family going to spend the summer?" - A ' "It isn't decided yet," answered Mr Cumrox, wearily. "Mother and the girls are still writing letters to ftd out which hotel charges the most." Washington Star. Mysterious. "So you have read your daughter's) commencement essay?" "Yes," answered the matter-of-fact father. "I am dumbfounded. I can't understand how anybody who - can write so sensibly and profoundly would chew gum and wear high-heeled shoes." Washington Star. . Belentlest. ' "What is the object in delaying the trial of that sensational case so long!" "I am trying to protect the public," answered the relentless prosecutor. "I want to give popular interest a chance to subside so that the prisoner will not be encouraged to go on tie stage If acquitted." Washington Star, Wanted Some. 'What .are you doing, my lad?" , "Why, I read dis land wus worth $800 a foot, an' I need the money' " New York Evening Journal. Mamma's Mistake. Fond Mother "Nellie, the next time young Huggins calls askhim to bring his airship around some afternoon and, take us for a ride." , Pretty Daughter "Why, mamma, h hasn't any airship." . Fond Mother "Oh, yes, he has. Mrs. Tattles told me only this morning that he was quite a high flyer." Chicago News. Collywohs. "Yes, the party was a big success; nlenty of eating and all that." "I suppose the 'table groaned with all the delicacies of the season.'" "Yes, but that wasn't a circumstance to. the way some of the delifiScies made the guests groan cucumbers and Ice cream, for instance." Philadelphia Press. Taking No Chances. Grayce "George says that I satisfy, his soul hunger so thoroughly that w need have no formal engagement. H says that in spirit ffe are already one. What do you think of that?" ' Gladys "All very pretty. But just the same I wouldn't let him talk me out of the engagement ring." Chicago Journal. Suburban Attractiveness. Scout (from the city) "Where is that beautiful, view you advertise?" Farmer Takeminn "Why, ye Jest walk over ter Pokeville an take th stage to Hen Lake an' th' steamer ter Moose Landing, an' then climb up Skeeter Mountain ter what they call Lover's Leap,1 and thar, ye git th' view, an' it's a dandy." Puck. On the Doitoa Subway. ' Superintendent (to conductor) "Thl gentleman complains that you ordered him to step lively. What have you to sayr Conductor "Well, sir, you se' we were behind and - Superintendent "That makes no dif ference at all, sir. You should hav said, Pedetrianate precipitately" Puck. - Severe on the Foet. - 'Are you wearing your hah long be cause you fancy you are poetical?" Suppose I war "Yes. And suppose I offered you this twenty-flve-cent piece to go to a bar ber's and; be shorn?" . "I wouldn't go." "Then take this dollar and .go to ft , dentist's." ..- - , "What for?" . . . To have ..your nerve treated." Cleveland Plain Dealec ' .