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JPBLE T7ILMTKTGT01S MESSENGER FRIDAY, AUGUST 23, 1 907 .
10 WIM HILL?
The Arizona Kicker Has One He
Worsts to Sell.
KiGH FOUNTAIN, LOW PRICE
Editor Refutes Chicago Charg He Is
Not a Grafter Because There Is Noth
ing to Graft Esteemed Contemporary
a Poor Shot.
Copyright. 1907. by E. C. Parcells.
Any one wanting a mountain 1,950
feet high to sit on during the heated
season will please address this office.
We have one for sale cheap. We got
it by advertising a forty rod whisky
before the pure food law came Into
A Chicago paper charges us with
being at the head of the grafters in
this territory. Kiess your soul, but
there hasn't been enough graft in Ari
zona in t'n last five yoars to buy food
for an old r v. We are all honest be
cause we have to be.
.rear r.c ex-Judge Scott entered
the Kit !:er ",rU-e bent on our destruc
tion. After he had fired five shots at
vfr'f shot his left ear off and drove
"WB SHOT HIS LEFT EA.B OFT1."
him out. The ear has been in a jar of
alcohol ever since, and the other day
the judge began suit against us to re
cover the souvenir. lie wants to stitch
ifcjand see if it won't grow. To the
f7&ht shooter belongs the spoils, and
t'll fight the thing clear to the high
Our esteemed contemporary insists
that he fired six shots at us as we were
coming home from a poker party last
Tuesday night and that if we had giv
en him six more chances he could have
dropped us. Sorry for him, poor old
chap! But is it ever to be thus?
Not as editor, postmaster, deputy
United States marshal or mayor of
Glveadam Gulch, but as plain Jim Hell
so, we rode our horse in a race over
at Lone Tine the other day and scoop
ed in $100 in cash to buy silk under
shirts for such members of congress as
are not own nl by any trust and must
critter who didn't have time to
si;:n Afs name writes us from Santa
IV that he will arrive in this town in
ab nit two weeks and shoot six redhot
bullets into our despicable carcass.
God! Things are going a little slow,
and we'd like a change. Kick open the
d;or of our sanctum and come right in.
A p-irty named "Bull" Williams, who
w. s har.in.-T around the Gulch three
or four months ago and who refused
to let the vigilance committee hang
him gently by the neck, went off to
Utah ami was lynched the other day
by an excited mob. How few men
know what's good for 'em!
Several letters have reached us ask
ing us to dline our position, editorial
ly, as to the next presidential candi
date. Not by a jugful! We are hold
ing three government positions, and
we don't propose to lose them by com
ing out now and yawping for some
particular ma-n who may not come
rhin gunshot of securing the nomina
tiotu We wish the country well, but
we wish oursclf better.
The air of Arizona is bracing, and
the territory is full of grand scenery,
but If we were a stranger to the people
we should neither take the air nor
vieTShe scenery from an auto. Our
peoiwK as a people can't got used to
anything going on four wheels. It's a
four legged country. Come on a cay
use and you will find a hospitable wel
come. At the last meeting of the common
council City Marshal Day offered his
resignation, and the same was accept
ed. He had served four months, and
during that time was wounded five
times. He thinks he got too many bul
lets for the salary received. Any good
two handed shooter who wants a
steady income of 12 per week will ad
dress or apply to us as mayor. In case
of death he will be buried at the ex
pense of the city.
We got an idea the other day that
the mail from Pine Valley ought to be
edited, and we rode out on the
1 for seven miles and then turned
la behind the loafing mail rider and be
gan yelling and shooting. It was a
success. The mail was expedited by
a full half hour, and the carrier rode
Jbto the Gulch to claim that a gang of
& lUghway robbers bad tried to hold
him up. It ia wca iirae incidents as
this that endear us to the heart of the
postmaster general and bring:, all peti
tions for our removal to naught.
' We were coming back from Lone
Jack the other day in something of a
hurry, being mounted on our piebald
broncho, when, at the crossing of Dog
treek, 2&poad agent tried to hold us up.
We told him we'd see him later and
galloped o, and he put two bullet3
through our hit and turned away. It
may console him to learn- that Hjb
amount of cash on hand at that time
was just 15 cents.
Since we have ceased lying about our
zirculation our health and spirits have
Improved 50 per cent, and all have no
ticed a great and agreeable change in
us. We haven't an ache or pain and go
around with a grin on our phiz and a
song in our heart. It was an awful
burden on our back to keep lying from
week to week, claiming a circulation nf
several millions when we had less than ,
a thousand, and we are glad to roll it
off. Let other editors try it. They
will be astonished at the results.
The Chicago man who arrived here
two weeks ago to set up a retail shop
for the sale of trust beef and who was
hiding in the hills two days after has
reached Utah and made a statement
in the newspapers. He denounces us
as a set of cannibals and barbarians.
Well, we have our little frailties, and
one of them is a lack of love for any
thing in the shape of trusts. If religion
was a trust we'd have the devil here
to beat it if it cost us a hundred dollars
We are asked the question by a noted
divine in the east, "Can an editor Ii3
a consistent Christian life?" We don't
know the object of the inquiry, but we
argue that the man who asks the ques
tion never read a newspaper for three
consecutive days. We wouldn't trust
even the editor of an agricultural pa
per with our hat to hold while we spoke
at a convention. Newspaper editing is
a profession that requires a peculiar
sort of men. They must not be handi
capped. Mr. George Lake of Pine Hill meets
up with Mr. Tom White of Lone Jack,
and both draw and begin shooting
Twelve bullets fired and a dog killed.
Then they embrace and proceed to the
nearest saloon, and the 200 men who
have gathered to see the fun walk
away with tears of shame and hu
miliation rolling down their cheeks.
Is Arizona Arizona no longer? Is it
owing to the sun spots? Are we be
coming a race of fish worms?
During the quarter ending June 1'
over GOO bullets were fired into the
front doors of the city hall by cow
boys and others. The city has now
two barrels of flattened bullets which
have been dug out of- the doors and
Is prepared to claim that it has the
richest lead mine in the world. Keep
it up, bo vs. It doesn't hurt the doors
any. M. QUAD.
Always In the Lead.
During the terrible days of 18G4,
when every available man was being
sent to re-enforce Grant's army, a sin
gle company of raw recruits arrived
from a thinly populated district in Ver
mont. It was first ordered into action
in one of the battles of the Wilderness,
and the captain felt called upon to
make a speech to his men.
"Soldiers," he began, "we are now
going against the enemy. When the
orders are given to fire do your best
and kill all you can with the forty
rounds of ammunition you have. When
you have fired it all away you had bet
ter retreat. I am a little lame, so I
am going to start now.'
Both on the Way.
Mamma had sent little Bessie to the
pantry to fetch some sticky fly paper.
She was gone a long time, and finally
the mother called:
"Bessie, hurry with the fly paper.
Have you got it?"
There was a pause, and then this in
an earnest tone:
"No, mamma, the fly paper's got me.
But we're both coming!" Woman's
He What a lovely complexion Miss
She Yes. That girl's a born artist
-New York Mall.
The Usual Fit.
"Great Scott!" ejaculated the polar
bear. "What's that terrible row going
on over there?"
The walrus looked bored. "Oh," he
yawned, "the seal's wife found a moth
on her."New York Press.
A Broad Hint
Husband My friend hardly recog
nized you today. . i .
Wife That's strange,: for I wore the
same hat yoo bought for .me three
years ago. Fliegwid Blatter.
Asheville, N. C August 19. Charlie
Sullivan; a well kown young man of
Asheville, who was murderously as
saulted by an unknown man near here
last night, is resting well at the hos
pital today and mlf recover.
Sullivan, in company with a lady,
companion. Miss Elkins, was sitting
on the road side, alter a mountain
stroll, when Sdllivan was suddenly as
saulted, presumably by e megro, and
his skull fractured with a rock. Miss
Elkins was also struck with a stick
and choked. She screamed and people
residing in the neighborhood were at
tracted to the scene. The assailant
then fled and has not been apprehend
ed. Special to Raleigh Tmes,
Ten Tears in Bed.
"Fbr ten years I was confined to my
bed with diseases of my kidneys,"
writes R. A. Gray, J. P.. of Oakville,
Ind. "It Was so severe that I could
not move part of the time. I consulted
the very best medical skill available,
but could get no belief until Foley's
Kidney Cure was recommended to me.
It has been a Godsend to me." Jos.
C. Shepard and J. Hicks Bunting Drug
Murder in Wilson.
Wilson N. C, August 19. Yesterday
at noon Howard Johnson, a negro,
entered the home of Nora Maury, a
married colored woman, and asked
her to sit on his lap. She refused
and he shot her so she died a few
hours later. Johnson emerged from
the house with the pistol in his nana
and ran. He was captured after a
short chase. Special to News and Ob
server. Piles gget quick and certain leliei
from Dr. Snoop's Magic Ointment. Us
action is positive and certain. Itch
ing, painful, protruding or blind i;iies
disappear like magic by its use. Large
nickel-capped glass jars 50 cents. Sold
by Robert R. Bellamy.
North Carolina Sccnritiew in Demand
On Friday of last week a North
Carolina cotton mill wishei to float
bonds and had no trouble in getting
the money on a long-term loan at six
per cent. There has never been a time
when North Carolina town and county
securities were in such demand. No
body can point to a five per cent bond
issued according to law by county or
town in North Carolina, that has not
brought par, or a six per cent, bond
that has not brought over par. News
Tor Infants and Children.
ITie KN You Rave Atasys Bought
Internal Revenue Receiots Reduced.
The preliminary report of the com
missioner of interal revenue for Ine
present fiscal year year shows that the
aggregate collections of internal reve nue
in North Caroina have decreased
over three-quarters of a million dol
lars since the Watts law went Into
effect. Washington Dispatch.
Don't let the baby suffer from ec
zema, sores or any itching of the
skin. Doan's Ointment gives instant
relief, cures quickly. Perfectly safe
for children. All druggists sell it
If they are in doubt as to what the
president will do it would be safest
for Miem to figure that he will enforce
the Jaw. Durham Herald.
Hay Fever and Summer Colds.
Victims of hay fever will experience
great benefit by taking Foley's Honey
and Tar, as it stops difficult breathing
immediately and heals the inflamed
air passages, and even if it should
fail to cure you it will give instant re
lief." The genuine is in a yellow pack
age. Jos. C. Shepard and J. Hicks
Bunting Drug Co.
Mrs. McCall Have you still got that
servant girl you had last week?
Miss Hiram Offen Which day last
week? Philadelphia Press.
Jackie Does your father know any
think about music, Tommy.
Tommy (Whose father is a police
.Jackie Well, What does he know?
Tommy He knows how many bars
there are in a beat for I have heard
him tell mother so. Tit-Bits.
Cures baby's croup, Willie's daily
cuts and bruises, mama's sore throata.
grandma's lameness Dr. Thomas' Ec
lectric Oil The great household rem
edy. What a New Jersey Editor Says
M. T. Lynch, Editor of the Phillips
burg, N. J., Daily Post writes: 1
have used many kinds of medicines for
coughs and colds in my family but
never anything good as Foley's Honey
and Tar. I cannot say too much In
praise of it. Jos C. Shepard and J.
Hicks Bunting Drug Co.
There are a good many people who
do not know why the telegraphers
have struck, among them several tele
graphers. New York Mail.
19 & 21 North Second Street.
Phones 14 and 1182.
caused by Indigestion, If you eat a
.. too much, or if you are subject to
.'.f.tsks cf Indigestion, you have no doubt
- - a shortness of breath, rapid heart beats,
..ortburn or palpitation of the heart
Indigestion causes the stomach to
Tomd swell, and puff up against the
' --irt This crowd the he rt and inter
; ;res with its action, and in the course ci
time the heart become dis ased.
t ?H5ts what you eat, takes t the strain cf
- -i0 heart and contributes nourishment,
: . .njth and health to every organ cf the
:. y. For Indigestion, Dspepsia, Sour
'.rriach, Inflammation of the mucous
.:T.branes lining the Stomach and Dies
. Tract Nervous Dyspepsia and Catarrh
-f u;e Stomach.
After eatinj. rry food would distress me Cy rr.eJdr.2
riy heart palpitate and I would become very weak.
Finally 1 ect a bottle of Kodol and it gave ma imme
iiiat3 relief. After using a few bottles I am cured.
MRS. LORJN'G NICHOLS. Penn Yan, N. Y.
! had stomach trouble and was in a bad f tate as I
fcad heart trouble with it. I took Kodol Dyspesii
Cure for about four months and it cured me.
D. KAUBLE, Nevada, O.
Digests What You Eat
our stomach, bsleb-
lag of gss, stc.
Prsparsd s.t to Lt
it Co., Chicago, O.fr.A.
ROBERT R. BELLAMY-
is the same good, oid-fash-loned
medicine that has saved
the fives of little children for
the past 60 years. It is a med
icine made vo cure. It has s
never been known to fail. If
you.' chi'd Is sick get a bot
A FINE TONIC FOR CHILDREN
Do not take a substitute. If
your druggist does not keep
It, send rvsnty-five cents in
V and a bott'ie will be mailed yoo.
THE ATLANTIC INN
OPPOSITE UNION DEPOT
The most Popular and Conven
ient Place for the Traveling
FINE LIQUORS AND
and Sour Stomach
Do -ot Su. er longer. You can be re
lieved lmruiateiy by Hicks' Capudine.
It induces the proper flow of gastrin
voices and cures the distress and acidity.
Try it; It's pleasant to takeIt's liquid.
Cures bea&tche also. At all druggists.
lilFin KalpaflQfll ISLL
J UULmJ U mr 1 (iff X yMrs numoT rr" a -it t mi
Our large capital and re
sources afford undoubted
security and unequaled fa
cilities to customers. Our
large and growing business
attests the confidence and
of the businerr pub
lic Depository for i funds of
the U. S. Government, State,
City and CounJes. We so
licit the business of those
needing the .services of (a
MURCHISON NATIONAL BANK
Mason's Fruit Jars
Special Low Prices
A ATLANTIC COAST
y? M ELECTRIC TRAINS
W ' lw$- From C k and S' A L
liwt" Depots at Wilmington
Hi il To the BeacH withut
m M Change of Cars
ic care meet tiU
Is an index to the character of your
Knonpcc WpM he olad to submit a
a sketch for
one to take
weather-beaten sign of your:,. V ?
H PHONES : T TJ TJ A T-T T H
H 136 & 808 I, JD,V 1 VFl H
J. 1 i im
Deny -who can the better management of the Northwestern Mutual
Life Insurance Company. Even fcood companies differ largely.. Com
parison Is an Illustrated essay on cost. Many a life's sunset oocmrrs
long before noon. The cost per$1000 In many another company, would
have paid for $1100 or $1200 In the Northwestern. Call or send us a
postal for Information ; we will always respoad to the call.
J. M. Boatwrlght Cx. Son, Agjto.
a new and up-to-date
the place of that old,