THE REVIEW, HIGH POINT, NORTE CAROLINA. February 25, 191 Supplement
An Evening of Wholesome Fad.
Prof. Geo. McKee, of the Uni
versity of North Carolina, will give
a recital from "Modern American
Humorists" Friday 8 p. m. at the
auditorium. Prof. McKee is a man
of splendid ability and will give us
a delightful evening. Come and give
him a hearty welcome. No entrance
fee. Under anspices of the Woman's
Club.
Lake Mcluke Says.
The lad who couldn't tell you the
name of the Vice-President is the
same fellow who can tell you how
to run the government.
The old-fashioned 17-year-old girl
who used to read books on "What a
Young Girl Ought to Know" has a
17-year-old daughter who puts her
mother wise.
The Willowy Girl cops out
covers of the magazines. But
dirl with the wide curves and
the
the
the
dimples in her anatomy atttracts all
the attention on the street.
What has become of the old-fashioned
man who used to wear a new
paper collar every Sunday ?
Before you get her she can say
things with her eyes that make you
feel funny all over. And after you
get her she can say things with her
mouth that make you feel funny all
ovet.
Since the vacuum cleaner dis
placed the broom a man can't find
a blame thing but his wife's hair
pins to clean his pipe with.
In the Game of Love you can al
ways take a Heart if you will lead a
Diamond.
One-half the world may not know
how the other half lives. But it
isn't the female half.
If you imagine that women haven't
a Sense of Humor just take a look
at the hats they are wearing.
Any woman who has a 40 inch
waist can tell you that the waist of
a Perfectly Formed Woman should
measure forty inches.
A lake of fire and brimstone isn't
the only Hell ever invented. There
is the case of the man who has a
$50 wife and a $15 salary.
When a woman's hips are so big
around that she has to go through a
door sideways she gets a lot of com
fort out of the fact that she is broad
minded.
You may have noticed that some
how or other a cross-eyed girl with
a mustache never gets mixed up in
any Platonic Love Affairs and that
she is never the goat in an Affinity
case.
A SNAKE OF A MAN.
Somebody poisoned my dog today;
Though he never did any one ill,
And so he's through with his canine
play,
And his wagglety tail is still;
Nc more shall 1 walk in the fields
with him,
Along at my side to jog;
And 1 don t care if my eyes
dim,
Somebody poisoned my dog!
He was homely, I know, as a
could be,
are
dog
And only a mongrel, too;
But 1 loved the old fellow and he
loved me,
As people and dogs may do;
Nothing on earth could disturb his
trust,
Or his love and his faith befog;
And now he lies here at my feet,
in the dust
Somebody poisoned my dog!
He crawled to mv side and licked
my hand,
And then with a gasp he died;
And though some people can t
understand
I patted his head and cried!
For it isn't funny to lose a iriend,
From off of this earthy cog;
And he was loyal unto the end
Somebody poisoned my dog!
I wonder how any one could have
done,
This poor little fellow harm;
But here he lies his race is run
Though his body's still soft and
warm,
My life is lived on a peaceful
My pace is a quiet jog,
But I wish 1 could find the
of a man.
Who poisoned my little dog.
plan;
snake
Listen Daughter.
Listen Daughter. Your mother tells me
that you and she have been talking over the
matter of getting a hired girl to do the house
work. She also says that she feels sure
that you two could get along with the work
all right, but that the young fellow who is
coming around here evenings will think we
are not swell enough if he knows that you
and mothi r do the housework. Don't you
worry about that . If he thinks such stuff,
he is not good enough for you . But he looks
pretty good to me and if he is half the fellow
I take him to be he'll think all the more of
you when he knows that you not only know
how to cook and bake and mend, but that j
you are on the job. So let's put up a little j
game on him. The next time he comes, re- !
ceive him in your kitchen apron. Tell him to i
amuse himself in the parlor for a moment un
til you finish manicuring the supper dishes j
I won't be here, you know. He picks out ;
the long nights to make his calls So i ;
wont be in the parlor toembarass him. Then,
along about ten o'clock ask him if he wouldn't
like a bite ot lunch. He'll insist that It will
be too much trouble, but you tell him he may
coir 'inn? and help Any man in the world
Will fall for that. He'll trafl along after you
to the kitchen. You'll have the stage all set
and the proper costumes ready: The cos
tumes will consist of two aprons, one for you
and one for him. Oh, he will put it on. If
there is anything a young feliow will fall for
it's the kitchin apron and a job doing nothing
but keeping out of the way. Then you get
the lunch ready. Tell him to slice the bread
and no matter how he butchers it, tell him
it's fine. Ask him if he can make a salad
dressing. If he says he can, let him go to
it. And you praise it to the skies. Ask him
for the receipe. Tell him you'll keep it a
secret What would you like foi a wedding
present?
THE LAST LAUGH.
William Allen White's story "What's
the Matter with Kansas?'' in the Satur
day Evening Post, has been, by this time,
pretty thoroughly discredited. Many ol
the statements made by the gifted writer
have been found to be inaccurate and
the major part of his arguments have
been punctured until they are seive-like.
Evidently the author is proud of Kan
sas, or wants people, especially Kansas
people, to believe he is. Judging from
his statements Kansas had drawn into its
confines the double-distilled extract of
everything that was good; thru out e very-
atom of badness and then built a high
fence around a regular little Heaven-on-earth.
He boasted about the big crops of
Kansas, the per capita wealth of Kansas,
the number of automobiles in Kansas and
almost succeeded in making everyone
believe that Kansas was whollv rich as
well as richly holy. But he overdid it.
And his home town, Emporia, is the
goat
For years the College of Emporia has
been largely supported by means of
donations from wealthy easterners, who
imagined they were assisting "a poor
little college on the wind-swept prairies.
When these rich patrons read Mr.
White's clever, but misleading article
they withdrew their subscriptions. This
year the College of Emporia must "Iook
to home'' for the annual donation of
$200,000 which used to come out of the
East. Washburn College, originally a
Congregational school, has been, from
the beginning supported by the gener
osity of wealthy members of that sect
living in New England. She too has
been told that she must look elsewhere
for her $200, 000 annual donation and
that a rich state like Kansas ought not to
go begging for support for her institu
tions So 4 'Bill" White is not as popular in
Emporia as he was the week after
"What's the Matter with Kansrs?" was
published.
McCai.l
A Bold Robbery.
Raymond Fair, a young white
man, was arrested shortlv before
midnight Sunday night a moment
after he had broken a plate glas
window in Berneau's jewelry store
and taken about $150 worth of jewe
lry. Three police officers who were
going down South Elm street heard
the crash of breaking glass when the
two doors above the jewelry store
and tcok Fair in custody before he
had time to cross the sidewalk.
ROOMS FOR RENT Three de
sirable rooms furnished at 213 E.
Washington street.
BUYIX.TQ-DAY
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NEWS FROM RANDLEMAN.
Randleman, Feb. 22. The Ba
aca and Philathea classes of Naomi
Methodidt church have recently re
organized with increased interest
and attendance. They have made
specific plans to assist in material
improvement of the church, The
Philathea class gave an enjoyable
Washington tea Saturday evening
from 8 to 11 o'clock. A number of
the townspeople were present and
enjoyed the good things the class
served.
J. J. Farlow with his road force,
have about finished the grading of
the Randolph Guilford road as far
north as the southern part of our
little town. Since the rain has
ceased the new grade is packing
nicely, where it has been used, and
is now in good shape.
The friends and entire community
deeply sympathize with Rev. G. H.
Christenberry in the recent affliction
of his wife, who will within the next
few days be carried to a sanatorium
for treatment.
Robert deal, a student of Guilford
College, spent the week-end at home
with his parents.
Mrs. Walter Bunch, of Asheboro,
visited relatives here Saturday and
Sunday.
A. B. Beasley, cashier of the Peo
ple's bank, is taking his holiday to
day in Asheboro.
Terrible Russian Defeat
Confirmed.
Suwalki, Poland, Saturday, Feb.
20. (Via Berlin arm London, Feb.
23, 4:50 p. m.) The German forces
under Field Marsh?! Hindenbnrg, by
hard fighti 2 and extraordinary
marches, inflicted such a striking
defeat on the Russians opposed to
then) in the recent battle of the
Mazurian Lakes country, that the
Russian remnants are a negligible
quantity in the operations now in
progress. The Russians killed and
wounded in the four days fighting
are estimated at 30,000 men. Over
60,000 Russians, out of a total of
150,000 engaged, are prisoners in
German hands
The fighting has been described
as the February campaign in East
Prussia and North Poland, and it is
regarded here as a second Tannen
berg. The Russians, composing the
Tenth Army, were commanded by
General Sievers. By skillful use of
the railroads at his disposal and by
the sacrifice of entire battalions in
order to bring off a few guns, he
succeeded in saving a greater part
of the artillery, but no fewer than
60,000 of his 150,000 men already
are counted among the German
prisoners, while the Russians killed
and wounded in the four days battle
I and the subsequent running fights
; are estimated at 30,000.
1 American Cotton Steamer Carib is
Sunk by Mine.
Berlin, Feb 23- Via London, Feb
! 24, 3:14 a. m. The German Admi
ralty has communicated a memoran
dum to Commander Walter R. Gher
ardi, the American naval attache,
pointing out that the destruction of
the American steamers Evelyn and
Carib was due to their not following
the course prescribed by the German
Admiralty to a point northwest of
Helgoland.
The memorandum reiterates the
assurance of the Cerman govern
ment as to the safety of the prescrib
ed course.
Captain Smith, ot the Evelyn, has
been asked for a report as to the lo
cality of the disaster. This report
is expected to show w hether the
Evelyn wandered within the defen
sive German mine fields or whethe
he struck mines laic" by a belligerent
ower other than Germany.
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A HERO OF ROMANCE
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13y E. M. BANG3.
He did not look it. Even Jotham
Hubbard himself, as he viewed his un
lovely reflection in the cracked mir
ror of his room up under the farm
house eaves, even he could but ac
knowledge that he was indeed as Aunt
Sarah said, "As homely as a hedge
fence." There was no gainsaying the
fact, and as poor Jotham turned from
the sight of his large features, and red
hair, he sighed. He was used to being
plain, but since encountering the
mocking black eyes of Mattie Buxton,
life had taken on a somber tint never
known before. Her laughing scorn was
no coy, maidenly coquetry. He realized
that.
He would do something rash; he
felt just like it. He would go to Bos
ton! This wild scheme he put into ex
ecution, and soon the little New Eng
land village of his birth knew him no
more.
Once really arrived at the metropo
lis things began to happen. On reach
ing the city by boat, the harbor scenes
so interested him that he walked
about the wharves for a time, forget
ting everything save the fact that he
was seeing the world. As he stood
watching a steamer about to sail for
a southern port, a taxi drew near, and
two men alighted. The younger man
was white and thin as if from recent
illness.
As they stepped from the cab a mes
senger boy met them. "Mr. West
over?" he inquired. .
The elder man nodded, whereupon
a letter was handed to him. He tore it
open and scanned its contents.-
"Here's a pretty go!" he exclaimed.
"Simonds has met with an accident,
and can't go with you."
"Can't go?" echoed the other. "Well,
I'll go without him, then."
"I don't like you to go alone, Ralph,
you're not strong enough."
ilT .....
nonsense, protested the young
man. "I'm all right."
Jotham drew nearer. "Was you
was you lookin' for somebody to sort
& look out for this young feller?" he
inquired,
Westover senior turned a searching
glance upon the young stranger. "Are
you going on this steamer?" he asked
then.
"I I'm thinkin' of it."
Five minutes later an agreement had
been completed. Jotham was to ac
company Ralph Westover in his search
for health.
On the day following their arrival In
the strange southern city, the two men
were out seeing the town. Suddenly
they became aware of a commotion
and then they saw a pair of horses at
tached to a carriage tearing madly to
ward them. . Women screamed. Alone
in the carriage was a young girl, grasp
ing with all her might the seat and
side of the vehicle. Jotham looked,
and before his companion guessed his
intention, he had bounded into the
street, and with an agile spring
grasped the bridle of the near horse.
It was at the risk 6f life and limb, or
so it appeared to Westover.
On the following morning a boy
came to the hotel inquiring for "Mas
ts h Hubba'd."
Westover had told his companion's
name to some of the spectators of the
rescue of the previous day. The boy
brought a note from Miss Carter beg
ging him to call that she might thank
him in person.
Jotham groaned. "You go," he en
treated; "tell her you're the man. She
didp't see who 'twas, 'tain't likely."
""Not much," laughed Westover, "you
don't catch me strutting around in
borrowed heroism."
A compromise was at length ar-
ranged, and Westover agreed to ac
company and stand by his friend dur
ing the dreadful ordeal.
Miss Carter's home was a fine, old
southern mansion, and the drawing
room, into which the two young men
were shown, seemed the acme of lux
ury to at least one of them. A mo
ment later Dorothy Carter appeared, a
not unattractive girl, wearing a white
gown.
"Two?" she questioned doubtfully.
"Which one am I to thank?"
Westover pushed the blushing Joth
am forward and that young man man
aged to take her proffered hand with
the words, "I'm Jotham Hubbard, but
you needn't thank me. That's all
right."
"Indeed, but I shall. Bring the
I lights," continued the girl, turning to
a 'maid. "I want to see clearly my
brave and handsome rescuer."
Jotham gasped. "Oh," he stam
mered, "don't think that. I ain't han'
som. I I expect I'm 'bout as home
ly as they make 'em."
"Then we'll speak of your bravery,"
the girl returned. 'That is not to be
denied."
Miss Carter was deeply interested in
hearing about life in the north, and it
took a second, even a third call for
Jotham to tell all she wished to hear.
It seemed, indeed, that Jotham's
bravery had quite blinded the girl to
his physical defects, or, it may be that
the proverbial blindness of love alone
was enough. But the young man came,
was seen, and conquered.
Extract from a letter written by
Ralph Westover to his father: "Well,
the great event has taken place, and
this morning I acted as best man at
the wedding of Dorothy Carter and my
esteemed friend, Jotham Hubbard.
Who would have thought it when we
saw him standing valise in hand the
day of our first meeting? Talk about
comparing truth with fiction! The lat
ter will have to take a back seat. If
Jotham Hubbard is not a hero of ro
mance, what is he?"
TALKING AT DINNER.
A Chinese Suggestion That One Per
son Should Do It All.
As a rule, a dinner conversation is
seldom worth remembering, which is a
pity. Man. the most sensible of all
animals, morflfc readily leans to non
sense than to rational discourse. Per
haps the flow of words may be as
steady as the eastward flow of the
Yangtzekiang In my own country, but
the memory remains only a recollec
tion of a vague, undefined what? The
conversation, like the flavors provided
by the cooks, has been evanescent.
Why should not hostesses make as
much effort to stimulate the minds of
their guests as they do to gratify t heir
palates? What a boon it would be to
many a bashful man sitting next to a
woman with whom he has nothing in
common if some public entertainer
during the dinner relieved him from
the necessity of always thinking as to
what he should say next! How much
more he could enjoy the fine dinners
his hostess has provided and as for
the woman, what a number of sup
pressed yawns she might avoid!
To take great pains and spend large
sums to provide tasty food for people
who cannot enjoy it because they have
to talk to one another seems a pity.
Let one man talk to the crowd and
leave them leisure to eat is my sugges
tion. Wu Ting Fang. Late Chinese
Minister to United States, in Harper's
Monthly.
CLOVE APPLES.
Spicy Odored Ornaments That
Were
Once Quite Common.
The manufacture of clove apples,
common in the days of our grandmoth
ers, is very simple. Tou can take an
apple, the rounder and sounder and
bigger the better, and into it stick
cloves as thickly as possible, with only
the heads showing and forming a close
continuous surface all over. Put it in
a drawer or on a mantelpiece or
whatnot, and time will do the rest.
The clove apple becomes dry and cu
riously hard, maintains its form per
fectly and acquires an approximation
of immortality if carefully protected,
of course, from accidents and children.
The latter, if memory serves, were
wont to annoy the grandmothers of
clove apple days by decapitating the
cloves or, if especially mischievous, by
working at one of them till it came out
whole. Either achievement, when dis
covered, as it alwaps was soon, caused
indignant oratory always and "wrong
stories" not infrequently.
The exact purpose of the clove ap
ple, whether it was valued as a curio
or as the source of a pleasant, spicy
odor, the present commentator does
not remember, if he ever knew. In
value, however, it ranked well up with
the shells brought from foreign strands
by seafaring husbands and sons, and
both were about equally durable. New
York Times.
A Busy Man.
A customer of a large downtowu
tailoring establishment was getting
service out of a suit of clothes he had
not paid for. Statement after state
ment was sent to the customer and
finally a letter informing the man that
unless he paid his bill the matter
wouhf be put In the hands of the com
pany's attorney. That awakened the
customer. He hastened to the store
and demanded to see the head of
the company. He asserted the only
reason for not paying the bill was that
he had been so busy with other af
fairs that he had overlooked his debt
to the tailoring company.
"Why, see here," he emphatically
told the president of the company,
"just to show you how busy I have
been I brought this telegram along. I
got that telegram day before yester
day, but I haven't had time to open it
yet" Minneapolis News.
Domitian Swatted Flies.
The original "swat the fly" man was
Domitian, Roman emperor from 81 to
96 A. D. History records little good of
Domitian, but it does say that be an
ticipated the anti-fly movement by more
than 1,800 years. Maltreating the
buzzing pests was his favorite amuse
ment, it is recorded, but be was not
animated by a desire to save babies'
lives or avert epidemics.
One biographer says of the old Romnn
that "one of his favorite pastimes was
hunting and killing flies." and Sueto
nius, the famous historian, wrote thus
of Domitian: "In the beginning of his
reign he used to spend daily an hour
by himself in private, during which
time he did nothing else but catch flies
and stick them through the body with
a sharp pin." New York Tribune.
Rail Splitting.
Finished splitting the winter's rails
about sixty. Have never been able
to determine whether they split best
from top or butt. Sometimes one sw
ceeds. sometimes the other. In split
ting posts the usual plan is for the
men to face each other, one slowly ad
vancing while the other backs awn)
and the blow of each into the cleft
loosening his partner's ax. From "A
Farmer's Note Book."
Curious Water Supply.
A curious form of water bole i
found in the deserts of Western Aus
tralia. The hole is dry by day, but
yields an abundant supply of water by
night. The flow of water is preceded
by weird hissing and bounds of rushing
air.
But It Is Easier.
If It were only easier to smile and
praise than it is to gr;wl and criticise
many a rough mile of life's journey
would be smoothed. Milwaukee
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