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MORAVIAN FALW. NORTUlcilROUNA, DECEMBEK:, 1911. NO. 11. I RECKON IT'S RIGHT. I've wondered much at the way things go In this old wobbly world below, Where the man who toils from day to day Has lots more debts thanhe can pay " Always in a poverty-stricken plight But I reckon it's right. It seems so. strange when we re call That the man who . does no work at all - ' T:rthe very chap" who "dresses fine' And goes toH the best hotel to dine, And gets his choice of all in sight . But I reckon it's right. The poor old dirty son-of-a-gun V1k digs in the mine from sun to sun - Can't claim enough of the yel low dross To pay his cruel and heartless boss For a decent place to spend the night But I reckon it's right. I don't think God, in His heav enly plan, ' - Intended to rob the laboring man, And give the wealth his hands produce . " . the non-producing idler's use; they've improved God's plans a sight And I reckon it's right. J. L. P. AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE 1 () But A New York school principal says he couldn't help it when one of his female teachers "sat hi his lap, "clasped her arms a bout his nedk and kissed him." Of course not, and I would' have a mighty poor opinion of him 1 if hp had so much as tried. Dear readers and ' friends of The Fool-Killer, please lend me your ears. I will return them in about two minutes. I have an important message that I must .deliver, and I want it to stick in the minds of my readers like a cuckleburr in a mule's tail. -A And the sum and substance of my message is this: J' r I AM JUST LITERALLY; BOUND ND COMPELLED TO BUY ME A NEW PRINTING PRESS AT . ONCE : , rM- ning from five to fifteen dollars a day, but in order to get the new press -put in and paid for RIGHT AT ONCE I want you good friends to push the sub scription receipts up to fifty dollars a day. That .will remove all financial embarrassment and enable me to give you a .bigger and better Fool-Killer, and : get it to you at the proper time every month. .There have been some unavoidable delays, due to my poor facilities for. getting the printing done. Now I aim to do away; with all' that trouble and Ciller has become so large that I . -NowJ. comradesrhere is what I Killer has become so larg can't possibly handle it much longer with my present v facili ities. There is only oneN of two things I can do buy a larger and faster press or stop the pa per. And I can tell you flat down that I am not going to let The Fool-Killer die. I'll kick my' old press till I wear my legs off up to my hip pockets before that awful calamity shall hap pen. 5 Such a press as I need, to gether with power to run ii, and some more type, will cost me at least five hundred dollars'. That sounds like some money to the feller that ain 't got it and that's me. ' "", . -: To be sure, The Fool-Killer has p'aid me more than )i500 dur ing the past year, but ; the ; part that' didn 't go for grub has all been used up in fixing the wid ow and myself a little stay-place. So you see I must raise; an other $500 at once, and I must depend on my army of readers to help me raise it. If you enjoy the music of . my editorial fiddle, you can surely afford to give me a little extra lift in a case like this. The receipts have " been very good for some time, ' run- HUGGING TO MUSIC. want you to do : Stick your Fool-Killer in your pocket and take it with you wherever , you go. Show it and read it to every body you see, and get them to subscribe. , It oughtn't to take you more than twenty minutes to get up a club of ten at fifteen cents per sub. Among 30,000 of you there ought to be at least 5,000 'who could do that much. Try it, please, every one of you. Don't excuse yourself by saying that there will be enough with ouC your help. If everybody said that- there wouldn't be any thing done. ' See ? Now, boys, I shall expect to hear from at least 5,000 of you right away with a club of five, ten, or as many more as you can get. Call your club the "New Press Club," and make it just, as big as you can. - j And then when I get that new; press set down here and ready! for work, if I don 't make Old Man Devil and his plutocratic bastards have bad dreams it will be a wonder. Now, altogether, boys! Roll in the clubs, and let's get this Fool-Killer business in shape so we can make the plutes think the. devil has got 'em. sure enough., Hurrah! ..:. The young people who" like to indulge in the giddy mazes of the waltz will hear with interest that the heads of Washington and New York society have de clared that ' setting " a waltz will be more fashionable from now on than . dancing." The ' sit ting out ' ' embodies the same po sition as dancing, the only dif ference is that you sit: instead of dance. The man 's right arm is around the girl's waist, while s his left hand holds her 'right. Hex lejhanis acj fqnh shoul-. uers, wmie ner neaa rests loving ly upon his bosom, and all they have to do is to sit and listen to the music. -Now that is some thing like it. 1 nave always thought it was a heap of useless trouble to have to gallop a mile or two to get a hug or two. A ''room full of people sitting on sofas hugging to music is more to my notion. This will give the old rheumatic brethren, another chance. Men waltz, not for . the dancing,; but for the hugging, and while a man may lose his appetite for dancing, he has to get powerful old before he loses his appetite for hugging a pretty girl. Society etiquette is the science of making a fool of yourself to please , other fools. The Fool-Killer does not give premiums to club-raisers. But instead of-that, it puts the prem ium v money, into giving you a better paper. My friends love to get up clubs just . for the fun of it and for the good they can do. They are not so little and stingy that they have to have a 1 ' premium ' every time they speak a word for me. Are'' you that kind of -a friend? If so, please let me hear from you with a big club,- .