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xf"T" ' V'""' TP" V""1 T7"V VOL. MORAVIAN F:ALLS, NORTH CAROLINA, APRIL, 1912. NO. 2. SPRING. The Easter hats have blossomed, Spring dresses have come in, k And the crop of politicians. , Is big enough to thin. . Old cow has gone to shedding, Calf 's old enough to wean, And ovsr on the mountain side The trees are getting green.; The folks are planting 'taters . And tommy-toes and peas, And the smell of fertilizer , Is wafted on the breeze. Spring fever" is sure to get yoiT, But when you dont feel right, A pint of home-made, bitters Will mend you up a sight. ToreWthol(n!r In summer I dread the heat, But dog my cats, beloved, x If spring ain't hard to beat. Pack it on Pearson. GREAT IS THE STEEL TRUST! Now then, by granny! I guess we've got it straight from head quarters. Just a few sundowns ago all the bloated Big Ikes of the steel trust got together and held a lengthy confab, going over the situation from A to Izzard. They boasted of being the real rulers of the world, and made their brags that no nation on earth could have war,, peace, hookworm, tummyache, or any thing else, without the consent and co-operation of the steel trust. . ' . ' i And it's the awful burning truth, if a gang of red-handed rascals did tell it. The Carnegie gng, the Morgan " gang, the Rockefeller." gang, and all the other big money interests are banded together and stick to one another like a tar plaster to a fat man's belly. What kind of a show can the rest of- us have against a combination; like that? War makes a market for steel, gunpowder, and other trust-made articles, and gets , some of the Poor trash out of the way. So when Mr. Piute wants a little war in Mexico hejust presses a button and the war is on. Same thing in Italy,- China and else where. Back of every war you rad about iurks the sneaking hand of organized wealth, and ior every ounce of lead the' poor i devil gets, the rich devil gets his pound of gold. How passing strange that men will be such fools! - - - x ' Bear in mind that the steel trust gang have . bbasted that they could forever put a stop to war if they wanted to by refus ing to finance the game. Nobody disputes it. But the trouble is, they, don't want to' stop it, any Bfnt3rehthe oldloxrtrteeT3er wants to close up; his den of vice. When kerosene puts out fire and the devil gets religion, then may be the millionaires will want war to cease. Not before. 'S Little old Andy Carnegie, is! a steel king one of the biggest in the bunch. He winds up his little Waterbury mouth and talks about universal peace till you can't rest. But Andy is just a-lyin ' him some. He don't want universal peace half as bad as he makes out like. If he did he could or der it witli his breakfast some morning and have it delivered before he got his breeches on. TRY THIS ONE. IT: BACKER." '-The.' use of tobacco is acknow ledged by almost everybody, even tttose-who use it, to ,be a useless and filthy practice. It is certain 1y a very unrefined habit, and is usually associated in our thoughts with whisKey bottles, big red hoses, foul speech and profanity. You tobacco-loving Christians, just stop a minute and try to im agine how Jesus would have look ed wit a pipe, a cigar or a' I am printing below the nation al hymn of Siam, in the original Siamese language. I could very easily translate it into English, but I will let you have the fun o doing thaV If you get as much fun out of it as I did it will be well worth the effort. To get the Ml force of it, you; had better go into a room and lock yourself up, and then sing these lines to the tune of America:" - ; 0 wha tan nas Siam! N. Gee wha tan nas Siam! 0 wha tan nass! Wha ta f oo las Siam! ' Sucha dar nas Siam! ' Osucha nas Siam! 1 . Osucha nass! quid of tobacco in His mouth. -What would be our opinion of Paul, the--great: Apostle to the Gentiles, if liehauwrittentoroliitotm4 sure and bring him a box of R. J. Reynolds's best plug tobacco and . . . - - . . several bags of Duke's Mixture when he brought his cloak and books from the house of Carpusf (2 Tim. 4:13.) ..;:- Expensive? Goodness, .yes. And a person who spends his money for tobacco is squandering his means on a depraved appetite. Just let. him get out of "backer" for half a day and he is as cross and snappy as a -blind adder in dog days. The only thing that will satisfy him is "backer," and he will have it in spite of thunder, even if his wife and kids go half naked and hungry. 1 " ' And then snuff-dipping! Whew! I reckon in is actually a sin the way I hate that low-down, filthy habit . Every time I see a woman or girl with a handspike rammed away back in her jaw and a stream of dark brown slobber dripping down from each corner of her mouth, I almost have to choke myself with both, hands to keep from spewing. Oh, that snuff dippers could realize how .nasty and repulsive it looks, and how it murders beauty, outrages decency and lowers the standard of civil ization! I don't love Taf t nor Underwood, And who else in the thunder would? For Underwood loves the cigarette, And Taf t, he loves the niggerette. GET UP A CLUB, . MISTER! ' . '' ' - A great jlhany editors offer premiums to club-raisersf but I have put the price of - the Fool Killer so low that I can't give premiums. - The premium busi ness is a-rather "Cheap - John' ' sort of a' gajne, anyway, , and I prefer to put the paper down as low as possible and let it stand oh its owh,merits. - I have been going it that iWay for over a year and.it has' been a success, and I see : no reason - for making a My regular club . rate gives cents (giving them the paper at v - w. j - J as five will club together. ; - Now, friends just for the fun of the thing, show this , copy to a dozen or two of your friends and asK tnem to suDscriDe. . - uet in a crowd of ..fellows - who like some thing funny and read them a few pieces from The Fool-Killer, and I'll: bet at least half of them will say, Twant that paper for a year'."".. Every blessed one of my present subscribers can get up a club of five or more if they wjll just half try. Please do me this little- favor, friends. It won't cost you a cent, and it will mean a whole heap to me. I thank you in advance, and shall expect to hear fromv every one of you with a great long list of subscribers. Yours to skin 'em alive, J. L. PEARSON. THE NEW HEAD. . Say mister! How do you like The Fobl-Killer's new Easter bonnet? Looks purty .gnipshus, don't it? ' I had to do something for an Apr il-Fool trick, andv this was the only thing I could think of. Look at the Old Man with the Big Stick and see what you will get if you don't be good. If he can't get you any other, way he will saw your head off with his nose.- Ncjw will you be good?