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The Fool-Killer 4 Pungent Periodical of Thrilling Thought PUBLISHED MONTHLY. J. L. PEARSON, EDITOR. One year to your heart, 25 Cents. Im clubs of Fiva or More, 15 Cents. Entered as second class matter March 30, 1910, at the postoffice at Moravian Falls, N. C, under the act f March 8, 1879. TAKE NOTICE! Do not send postage stamps on sub crlption. Remittances should be made by registered letter, express or postofflce money order. Be careful to write your own name and address plainly,, and direct all Utters and make all orders payable le : THE FOOL-KILLER, QeraTian Falls, - - - Sorth Carolina. ON A BOOM! Say, Fellers, I've got another chunk of good news for you. I feel sure it will please you to know that the Pool-Killer is on a big boom, with a fair prospect of doubling its present circulation in a very short time. It seems that Comrade Morgan's writing has struck a popular chord, and with what I can do to help, we are determined to make this the richest and best little paper that ever rolled from a printing press. Nothing that The Pool-Killer has ever printed before has been so popular as the series of "Dey- xl s Letters now running, ine reading world is just going wild over these letters. The people want to know how the questions of the day look from, the stand point of old man Satan Devil, and this paper is the only one that has a contract to print his letters red-hot from the ladle.- Also some of the other features are proving to be great pullers, and, altogether, the paper's pros pects have never before been as bright as they are now. In spite of the war arid the hard times, this paper is going to live and prosper as long as any oi the rest. So this is to thank my army of workers for their good work, and to hope for a continuance of their interest and ' support. Let the clubs continue to roll in here like 49 niggers a-stacking straw, and we'll all have more fun than you could ' shake a stick at. . The teijhcent rate in clubs of five or more is still holding good, but ! don't know how much long er it will hold. 1 can t promise more than a month ahead, because in these unsettled times we never know what changes a month may bring about. But the reduced rate holds for at least one month longer, and during that time let's all just best ourselves. I am talk ing to YOU, my friend. I am expecting YOU to do your part. Now altogether, everybody ! J. L. PEARSON. I reckon you have noticed tha the enemy is the only one who uses dum-dum bullets. THE FOOL - TEDDY'S LAMENT. By W. S. Morgan Alack! Alas! And woe is me, Of Sagamore hill Hard by the sea ; 4 I was High-Muck-a-Muck Of this glorious land, And a fog-horn tooter In the Republican band. , I served my two terms, Then for sport went away, Expecting to return On some future day, To again serve the people, So brave and so true, And man the old ship With the same gallant crew; To live in the White House About eight years more And hit the octopus Where I missed him before. I left a big man By the name of Bill Taft, To fill up my place, And to hold on to the graft, With not the least thought That he ever would rob Me of my cinch, And swipe my, fat job. It was well understood, That after four years reign, He would turn over the office To my keeping again; He broke his fair promise, And much worse, alas! The best of my friends He turned out to grass. And when I returned ,' From my long hunting trip, He never came down To meet my good ship, Like many thousands did, Both friend and fair foe, Who bowed down before me, And kissed my big toe. But silent and sullen, He remained in his tent As though on dire mischief His heart was full bent. And when we first met, His greeting was cold, And very unlike His manner of old. ' I tried hard to reason, But 'twas quite plain to see. He had changed all the plans That he once made with me. Old Rumor was busy, And stories filled the air That the man I had made Wouldn't tote fair. Then I got on my ear, And feeling the sting, I threw my old hat In the race course ring ; And I vowed a great vow, With a terrible oath, That I 'd help the Democrats To lather us both; And I yelled a big yell, Then followed my hat, And jumped up ' on deck " , And grabbed me a bat. The boodlers and grafters And lovers of f gold; Soon gathered around Old Billy the bold; And swore by the great Je hos- a phat, They'd pulverize the man Who owned the old hat. They brought out the "roller,' The one I had made, To crush opposition And lay it in the shade; Arid put Billy Taft In the presidential chair, Which caused all his foes To stammer and stare. KILLER At Chicago they met, And to gain all theh ends, They ran that big roller Over all of my friends; They chose enough delegates To comply with their will, And " packed" the convention With grafters for Bill." We fought and we fought With all of our might, And we sat in our seats All day and all night, But the old thing was loaded, It was easy to tell, So we told the vile grafters They could all go to well, When the farce was all ended, And we turned ourselves loose, I bawled and I bellowed Like a big bull moose. Then all the good people, Who heard the great sound, Came running toward me And rallied around. Then at it we went, With vengeance and vim; He told on me, and I told on him; The Democrats laughed, And the Socialists grinned, But all were agreed That I had him skinned ; Skinned to a finish, Which flattered my pride; Then the Democrates came And stole his old hide. 'Twas a dirty, mean trick, ; But I didn't mind that; Neither did I care For the loss of my hat; But the limit was reached When that pilfering crew, That swiped old Bill's hide, Got away with mine, too. And now, my dear friends, 'Tis late in the night, And I haven 't yet told you The worst of my plight; So remember the theme And forget not the text, And I'll tell you more about it, In February next. The Progressives. Pour million men marched up the hill To vote against V'aft, big bellied Bill; They raved and ranted and voted, then . They all went back to the oid party again. LETTERS I FROM THE DEVIL By W. S. Morgan Author of " The . American Circus " A book of 40 pages containing let ters "in words that burn" addressed to the following The Farmers The Church Members The Editors of Great Dalles . The, Lawyers The Politicians Candidates .of the old Parties TfcePreaeherg The Professional Politicians To Capitalism The Democrats The Republicans The Political Fools The Common Pings The Wage Earners Don't fail to get this: it is rich. Mailed to any address, postpaid at 10 cents each, $1.00 per dozen. While "you're a gittin' " this book enclose 10 cents more and receive 50 copies of Morgan's latest leaflet, "A Toast to Capitalism," a good companion piece to "The American Circus." Ad- Gross W. S. MORGAN, Springfield, Mo January, 1915. COBRESPONDENCE. a .u nnatt flnmhs. Ark. YtMUT paper is creating great excitement to this part of the country. Even ta children of the old parties are memo- rizing your arucies auu ictitiuB in bur school entertainments. G R. Childers, Gerty, Okla. Here is a bunch of 19 . Send the fool thing to them one year. Just sent you a bunch of 15 a short time back. Will come again some day. Give thea fits. .t r Parmer. Desdemonia, Texas. Enclosed find check for $1.40 as a New Year's present. Someone hand ed me a Fool-Killer, and just as soon as I had time I got 14 subscribers in 14 minutes. It's the best little thing I ever read. W. M. N. Gibbs, Waycross, Ga. Well, old comrade, glad to know you have "jined" some time ago, and have added the good man Morgan to the staff. Let us all push. Enclosed find six subs "with remittance to cover. W. C. Lostetter, 298 N. Front St, Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio: Enclosed you will find a money order for $5.90 for which please send The Fool-Killer t the enclosed addresses for one year. If possible, kindly send a few sample copies that I may pass them around. Rev. J. A. Cooper, Box 194, Albe marle, N. C. I send you a club of five names at 10 cents each. I like your little paper. Please send me some sample copies and I will give them out to those who would likely take it. I would like very to get it in every home! in Albemarle. D. P. Kiser, R 1, Kings Creek, S. C. . Please find enclosed 50cents for five subs to your paper. I got my paper and showed it to my friends, and it set them all to thinking. I would not de without The Fool-Killer if it cost $2.00 a year, and if you will send me some extra copies, I will get you some more subs. J. R. Crawley." 621 Gum St.. Lynch- burg, Va., I am enclosing a list of suds 27 in this list, and I sent vou 21 last week, making 48 in 8 days. Please write and tell me if anybody -, has beat this. If you havn't sent the samples that I sent for, please send tnem.at once. Hope you and your paper may live for many years. M. B. Gilman, Greenfield. Okla. , I have just received your spicey lit tle paper and like it fine. I think it is a hummer. Please send me soma back numbers as sample copies and v i win get you some subscribers. While I am now taing The Appeal and several other papers, including Pear son s Magazine, i can still find time to enjoy the skinning you give the piutes. Albert Haskins, R. 3, Bangor, Wis. There are a few fools valley. I am one of them, and I have iouna iour others. There are no doubt several more. But we five need killing, and I had rather die laughing than any other way. So I am send ing to you for 12 doses of Fool-Killer to be taken one dose each month, and if , that ; don't do r the; job r I will take another dozen doses next year. - J ? Hite, . Ellenboro, . W. Va. ' IOU Will Dlease find AtirlnooH o ntat- ofilce money order for $1.00 and also xv euu xor your paper. - The Devil's Letter in , your last issue caused all the; above trouble. I have been tak ing your paper , for over two years. I don't know, when my time is up, but you see I am-in this bunch of subs again. I am only a boy of 73 years, but I do like a live wire. Give us all the J anuary issue if possible. Rev. Charles C. Davidson, Pastor Ashburn . Baptist Church, Ashburn, Ga. My dear fellow suffers: Having read one copy of The Fool Killer and survived, and having shocked the unholy sanctity of some of my friends by reading it to them I want to .increase the health, sense and happiness of the enclosed list by getting them a chance to test them- ' selves. Enclosed find money4 order for 60 cents, and may your kind in crease. ' ' .