Newspaper Page Text
t WHO EMPLOYS THE DEVIL
TO RUN HELL? The following article was writ ten by the editor ol The Fool Killer and printed in this paper severaljnonths ago. At the time of writing it I did not realize that it was anything unusual. But the paper went out, and I soon began to hear from it. The article was copied and re-copied in papers all over the country, also printed in tract form and widely circulated. The latest news of it comes from far-away New Zealand, where it has been printed and circulated in great numbers. Seeing, there fere, that the article, has made such a hit all over the world I thought the readers of The Fool Killer might enjoy seeing it a gain. So here it is. Show it to everybody you see and help to give it a still wider circulation: they can't tell blue smoke from the breath of a Democratic candidate. 500, 000 YEARS If an endless hell of torment for the wicked is a necessary part of God's plan, and if God has to have the devil employed to run the place and keep the fire going, then there is simply no getting around the fact that God and the devil are business associates and good friends. If there is an end less hell of torment in God's scheme at all it is a very import ant part of the scheme, and surely God would not appoint His very worst enemy to such an important position as general superintend ent of hell. Supposing, for the 3ake of argument, that God needs ah endless hell in His busi ness, and supposing that God had employed His enemy to run the place. Don't you. see that the enemy could take advantage of God and let the thing go smack out? Or he might go to the other extreme and waste the brimstone j and burn out the flues and do lots of damage that way. Where there was so much fire there would be constant danger of getting the whole place burned up. SoyouseeGod would need to have a man on the job that He could trust one who could be depended on at all times to run hell in a perfectly honest and Christian manner. Now, Buddy, 1 put it up to you plain and honest: if the devil is as mean and low down and as tricky as people say he is, rdo you honestly believe God would keep such a character on his payroll through Eternity and trust him with the all-important business affairs of the everlasting fire works? What do you think a boutit? Looks to me like the "theologians" have gotten their hind legs so badly crossed and tangled in their foresight that In Wake County, NortrrCaro lina, there is a big Baptist edu cational joint answering to the name of Wake Forest College. The college is owned and operated by the Baptist denomination of North Carolina, and the instruc tions given in the college are sup posed to harmonize, dovetail and otherwise azree with the common old Baptist view of things. The present head of that good Baptist learnatorium is one Dr. W. L. Poteat, and if one may judge by the printed report of a recent lecture of his, the good brother seems to be sorter wob bling on his theological spindle, a3 it were. All Baptists will tell you that they believe the Bible at least they are powerful fussy about observing all the fine points of what they THINK it teaches. Well, the Bible teaches that the human race has only been on the earth a little over six thousand years. Bible chronology makes this very plain. And have al ways understood that Baptists accepted that as the truth. Lots of other people do not accept the six thousand year tneory, ana they even present what they be lieve is evidence that man has been squirting the mud of this planet through his toes for several million years. But the point is that the Bible puts it at six thousand years, and the Baptists have never kicked on it before. And now here comes the president of Wake Forest College with a series of lectures on "Eugenics," in the A course of which he says: The human stock oi today is judged solely by that produced during the two centuries 500 to 300 B. C, the golden age of Athenian culture. There has been relatively little improvement in stock during all the 500,000 years of man's occupation of this planet." That sort of talk would sound all right if it came from the Uni versity of North Carolina a purely secular institution where science reigns supreme. But from the president of Wake Forest from the very place where they pretend to believe the Bible well, it does sound sorter odd. And yet I'll bet a dollar the Baptists of North Carolina will swallow that and smack their lips over it like it was gocd. A little matter of only 494,000 years will not bother them. And Dr. Poteat will not be charged with being a heretic, an infidel, or any of them dangerous things. He will stay right on the job as president of a Baptist college and go right on teaching things that the Baptists have never be- ieved. But if Dr. Poteat should hap pen to remark that the soul is not immortal and that the wicked will not roast in a burning- hell forever zip! he would be out of a job before you could say scat with your mouth open. The Baptists are getting so tough they can stand just about any old thing except the truth! But they can't endure the TRUTH nary minute. "Trim Your Lamps." The Bible is often spoken of as a lamp. We are advised to keep our lamps trimmed and burning. What does that mean? immortal soul cinder, and to gether they have formed an ob struction that has just about blinded the whole world. These things must all be trim med off before the Bible can give forth its true light. Trim your lamps! Take the scissors of reason and trim the wick of your under standing, and strain all the pre judice out of your oil of intellect, and then you will begin to see things in their true light. REPUBLICAN PRAYER. Oh, thou great and galliniperous Father Hardtimesv here we come tumbling down before thee on our pot-gutted, bellies, even as. the dacks that old G rover shot used to fall into Buzzard's Bay. We don't know hardly how to address thee, Father Hardtimes, because many of us who voted for thee are not thy political children. T ' i i t i I uoes it mean mat we must ; Some of us are political bastards trim out some parts of the Bible !and orphans who were spewed and throw them away? Uout of the Democratic volcano, Certainly not. j picked up by the Republican cy- You all know what it means j cionei jerked through space so to trim a common oil lamp. j f ast that our shirt-tails looked You do not really trim the j uke the flair of desolationr and lamp-you only trim the wick, j finanv dumned head foremost inta i r - You know that after a lamp i thio But, on the other hand, some of us are just Republicans because pap was, and we can't be cured of it by any known treatment. We have to sutler the pain and aho the disgrace of being a Republicaa to the end of jour days, whether we like it or not. And therefore, O great and mighty Hardtimes, thou seest what a th moderation fix we are in. We told millions of campaiga lies for thee. We cussed out the Dummycats and the durned Socialists. We promised everything we could think of, and then promised that if we had forgot anything we would promise that later. We told the voters that thou has been burning for some time there will form on the end of the burnt wick- a sort of coal or cinder which dims the light and causes the blaze to sputter and fail. What do you do? You trim off that burnt cinder and then your lamp burns bright and steady again. Now if the Bible is a lamp, what is meant by trimming it? Simply this: Don't cut out any of the Bible and throw it. away, but simply trim off all the" dead cinders of misunderstanding that have ac cumulated around it. The Bible has been a burning lamn before the world for many generations, and much of the j wast the friend of the common time it has been badly attended ; People when we knew it was a lie. to, and its light has often been And now they are throwing it dimmed and hindered by the j UP to us, and we are like the boy dead cinders on the wick of i the calf stepped on weain't got human understanding. These j nothing to say. need to be trimmed off, so the When the jobless workers come light can have a chance to shine. : around asking about that prom One very bad and harmful cin-iised "prosperity," we just stand der-one that has been obscuring ! here looking like fools and wishing the Bible's light for several thou- j the ground would open its mouth sand years is tfo "immortal j and swaller us. soul" cinder. It is a big black j O Father Hardtimes, look down old thing, and it has been accu-jfrom thy throne in Washington mulating blackness and hardness and have mercy on us. ever since the devil told that j Tell us what to do. first lie in Eden. J Teach us whart to say. And then there is "eternal; For behold, the people are De terment," another big ugly coal ! ginning to think that we are no that needs to be trimmed off. It j better than the Dummycats. has built -itself up around the! ' AMEN.