Newspaper Page Text
THE FOOT-KTT LFR, B'OMFR, N. C. OCT,, 1922 The Fool-Killer A Monthly Mustard-Plaster for the w Blood-tfoils of Society, (Jhurch and State. ECONOMY'S HIND FOOT! omy in other things it would not LOCALS FROM FOOLVILLE 1 ! now have to be so rotten stingy Tt i. , Confound it! with the men .who- went and- Mr. Hiram Hamestnng is fix- Phope that ain't cussing. If madeithe world safe for the ing to build a new barn. He it is, it will just have to ffo.--nlnt.Pa. says the rats are so crowded in Confound it! Hang-take it! Say, boys, don't you want to his old barn that he is atraid Doggon it! I got it said, any-' back over there and light they will die if they don't get PUBLISHED MONTHLY Turkey and get some more prom- more room James Larkin Pearson - - - -Editor BOOMER, NORTH CAROLINA SUbSOitiriAON RATES: Single subscription, one year, 2$ cts. - w In Clubs of Five or More, i now. In the above remarks I have tried to faintly suggest how I feel about the unspeakably un grateful conduct of the adminis tration in its treatment of the soldier boys. As an excuse for vetoing the 15 cts. bopus bill, President Hardtimes Watg of Georgia, Is dead. Don t laugn, piease. lses c Amen! Glory Hallelugy ! TOM WATSON IS DEAD The only and original Toni Entered rcb March i .1 1016, at the postoffice at many obligations, and the world that brings up tne plea 01 economy. Miss Helen High water happen ed to a very terrible accident one day last week. She wenft out walking with her best fellow, and the dress she wore was 'made of cotton ocds. All at once she noticed that she was ipluni naked, and discovered that - the boll wevils had eaten her M 3, There is nothing funny about , dress off. 1879. is in such a bad fix, that we can't afford to pay the boys anything. Economy, the dickens ! vv hen they were called on to go and suffer and perhaps give their TAKE NOTICE Dp not send postage -Stamps on subscription. Kemittances snoiuci oe maae oy h h n "ppnTiomv" to them if registered letter, express or postoitice tney cou have stayed at home. uiuuey uiuci. Hut rhAVA wasn't anv economv Be careful to write your own name considered then, except the and address plainly direct all pinch-gutted economy which al- tetters and make all orders payable lowed them only one dollar a THE FOOL-KILLER. day for bearing all the risks and . I rr x . 1, : i i-T J Boomer, - - North Carolina suiiermg 01 wur, wmie cue uuni proiiteers ana graners a.t It is a fact, and not a joke. Tom is dead. He has turned " in his last 2 Let Us Talk It Over friends, 4t this is Well, dear sinner She Fool Killer. How does it set on your stomach? If vou like it you can get more at feaadquarters. The Pool-Killer is not even a forty- Miss Mirandy Meatskin, the beautiful and accomplished cook of the Spraddledink family, has vor-pnflv Imrl Vipv In nil IvvKKprl "copy 'written his last book, ahh snVR Knhiw hmV w tr?. 1. 11 1 -a . i PkAA-W K-'VT AVIV -WV AAV-. W T V MV rrmrla hie Iqqt finoarh- m rna Kan- i ii i -i i lives in a foreitm war it would i T i i t .vantages its tne styie, ana lives in a ioieign wai, it wouia ate and siiaken his aubum-gray thpn -f a hair p-ets in the cook. locKb lui tne iabt time. i ing it isn't long enough to choke His life has been a stormy s aiwody " and a strenuous one, swinging I v back and forth between defeat j ?id ,uFl?le Ben Rasberry has and victory - j ordered him a new tin wash-pan Vie has been intensely loved 1 ppci Sears-Roebuck. If it comes and intensely hated j before cold weather sets m, Un- Hp war ,1 mn of aiimirlatives cle Ben says he Avill boiTow a JL, any wray you took him. He was a great scholar, a great lawyer, agreat orator, a great author and absolutely without fear. I didn't always agree with safely in their offices and raked in their millions. There wasn't any "economy" considered when the government was paying forty and fifty times the real worth of things and giv ing it all to the grafters. No "economy about building SDventh cousin to any other paper on I a fleet of 250 wooden ships that wth. I never were used, at a cost of It8tAndinaclassbyiteelf,andits mny millions, and then selling 3 ' them for less than one cent on This paper wears no bell, muzzle, collar nor halter. Vou can put that down to start with. I am the feUow who works at the amp-handle on this rag of reform. I never travelled any to speak of, eat I have read a great deal, and &ave" Chunk some. And then I started The Fool-Killer, the dollar. When the war ended, billions of dollars' worth of supplies and food-stuff s rerrxamed on hand, and these things were, dumped into the hands of the rich specu lators at a fraction of a cent on the dollar. If the government tiiationnietmv nerves and to keeD wanted to give things away, it c Jwi - ;J z i t i ii i tne oia press irom getting ruscy. imignt just as w7en nave given From the seclusion of these wooded them to the people wTho needed themu No "economy about that. No sir, there has not been one drotted bit of economy practic ed in this whole bloody business except what has been practiced on the soldier boys themselves. But dog my cats if they ain't had it rubbed in good and plenty nil firmer tViP linp. Onp 'nit.ifiil little dollar a day for doing a job humor, and seasoned with sarcasm. that the dumed money-grabbers Every lme cuts like a whip, and jwouldn t have tackled to save kills there will co fort)i each month t burXtiile of literary dynamite that trill shake the rotten foundations of iocietv and cause the church of llammon to at least turn over in its loep. Tne Fool-Killer is a montnly mus jrd plaster isr the blood-holla of Society, Church and State. It is written with a red-hot poker dipped m razor-soup. It rides the devil a straddle without every word raises a blister. If you are a fool you had better not; -iuuscnue ior ice r ooi-ivnier. 11 you -ire wise you will, and that settles it. JAMES LARKIN FEABSOS Boomer, N. C. the whole wTorld from the devil. And promises of great things when they got back home if they ever lived to get back. Why, to hear 'em tell it then, they we're going to build every soldier a marble palace as Dig as oio- mon's temple, feed him on angel- cake and humming-bird brains, crive him six automobiles and STATEMENT of the ownership, management, cir eolation, etc., required by the act of abQut a dozen of the purtieSt inbUBhed monthly at Booker, N. 0., he was going to swim in luxury ana oe vorsnippea iiKe a for Oct, 1922: Editor, Managing Editor, Bus. Mgr., Publisher and Sole Owner James L. Pearson, Boomer, N. C, (Signed) JAMES L. PEARSON. ' Sworn to and subscribed before me this tbe 1st day of Oct., 1922. Mattie P. Greer, P.M. My commission expires 182 prince. Yes, it was easy to blow hot air and make promises then. But when paying time tomes around, the only thing we can hear is "economy. Blame-take it, if the govern ment had used a little more econ- cake of soap and w7ash his feet. Dad Burnett fell off a fodder stack several days ago and knocked out a tooth. He was aw fully pleased, because it was on that needed nullinff. anvhow. him, but I admired his genius nn . , . and his courage. : 9nggsby, theenterpm- nig naruware man oi rooivine says he will have to .put in a new supply of horse-shoes next spring, as the ones he has had ever since 1908 are so near worn out that they won't do to pitch any more. It has been suggest ed that the boys might try pitch ing old Ford tires. A big automobile full of peo ple ran off the bridge at Horn eyhead Creek last Sunday, but nobody was hurt. U ran off at the end. - A little girl fell into Sank Sodapop's ice-box day after to morrow, and was nearly over come with heat; -before they could get her out Tobe Sanders keeps his old cow hitched in the creek nearly all the time here lately. He says he does that to keep her from going dry. Old Sam Sorry has sent four of his children to the orphanage. He says there was so many young-uns around his place that :age. He was just the type of man that the world has always cru cified and then deified. The people -who want to ; stand in with the reactionaries and the plutes have always tried to poke fun at Tom Watson. They have tried to make him out a lrttle insignificant spit-fire who didn't matter much nohow. But the daily paper that brought me the first news of Ins death recorded a mightly sud den change of attitude toward him. He was no longer "that old Tom Watson he was the great Senator Watson, of Geor gia." The flags about the Capi tol are to be half-masted for thirty days in his honor, imag ine anything being done at Washington to honor him while he lived ! They would rather have spit m his face, and in fact he was openly insulted on the floor of the Senate two days beiqre he died. At Washington and elsewhere over the country his enemies did everything in their power to make his life! his hound dogs couldn't get miserable. But he was great enough to surmount it all, and he died in the harness at the zenith of his glory. Now the papers that have bitterly abused him for years will be full of sloppy and sick ening editorials m his praisev What miserable hypocrites we are ! But for Tom the fight is fin ished. He enjoyed reading the Fool Killer, but he will not read it anymore. Good-bye, Tom. See you later. Because of too much fire in her neighborhood, fcreece has incited. enouffH to eat. There wasn't but one of the deacons present at the Foolville church last Saturday. The other one had a doubling of mood shine on and couldn't leave it. Buck Brogan has just return ed from the northern markets where he placed an order for a pair of overalls, three pounds of sow-belly, and a package of cig arettes. It is reported that devil-worship has been revived on a big scale in Paris." Well, that noth ing. Lots of the preachers here in this country are doing the same thing.