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Connecticut workman. (Bridgeport, Conn.) 1901-190?, October 24, 1901, Image 5

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Labor and Capital
Should be Reconciled
(Continued from Page 3.)
destruction of property, and, above all,
they result in inflicting grievous in
jury on the laborer himself by keeping
1dm in enforced idleness, during which
M3 mind is clouded by discontent
-while brooding over his situation, and
hJs family not unfrequently suffers
from the want of even the necessaries
of life. s ,
From official statistics furnished by
Bradstreet and Carroll D. Wright,
United States Commissioner of Labor,
for eight years ending December, 1SSS,
the following summary is condensed:
Humber of strikes in the
United States, for eight
years;.;. 5,453
Number of employed involv
ed in the strikes, '. . . 1,879,292
Xos3 to employed in wages, . $77,&38,224
.The loss inflicted by the strikes on
the employers was but little over half
the amount sustained by the employed,
who could much less afford to bear
it- ' '
tv would be a vast stride in the in
terests of peace and of, the laboring
classes if the policy of arbitration,
which is now gaining favor for the set
tlement of international quarrels,
were also availed of for the adjust
ment of disputes between capital and
Many blessings would result from
the adoption of this method, for, while
strikes, as the name implies, are ag
gressive and destructive, arbitration is
conciliatory and constructive. The re
sult in the former case is determined
Jj the weight of the purse, in the lat
ter by the weight of argument.
And now permit me to address to
you, hardy sons of toil, a few words
of friendly exhortation solely inspired
ty a sincere affection for you, and an
earnest desire for your temporal and
spiritual welfare.
1. Cultivate a spirit of industry,
without which all the appliances of or
ganized labor are unavailing.
'. Activity is the law of all intellectual
zuid animal life.
'. The more yoiu live in conformity
with that law, the happier you will be.
An active life, like the purling rivu
let, is' an unfailing source of gladness,
liealth and contentment, while an in
dolent life, like the stagnant pool,
breeds discontent, disease and death.
No man enjoys with a keener relish
the night's repose and the Sunday
holiday rest than the son of toil.
A life of Datient industry is sure to
oe blessed with a competenqe, if it is
lot crowned with an abundant re-
luneration. .
great majority of our jeacung
wealth are maeDtea ior meu
to their own untiring maus-
ve, ' personal, conscien-
the business ot your
much r i cperjied
as if ft wfe yo a
employer's, affairs
rour wages come from the prof-
the concern, .and tne more j ou
Lhnto to its success, the oeuer
fn afford to compensate you for
your services. . .
He will be impelled by an-enlightened
self-interest, as well as by a sense
of justice, to requite you for. your ser
vices with a generous nana.
2. Foster habits of economy and self-
- denial.' .' 1 '
No matter how modest your income
may be, always 'live under it.
You will thus protect your liberty
and business integrity, and guard
yourself against the slavery and hu
miliation of debt, which is too often
the precusor and the incentive to com
mercial dishonor. ,
Most of the alleged wants of man
kind are purely artificial and contri
bute little or nothing to the sum of
human happiness.
Rather do they add to the sum of
' human misery;, for, what are our
earthly desires but so many links in
i. our chain of bondage?
3. While honestly striving to bet
ter your condition, be content with
--your station in life, and do not yield
to .-w.umute desire cf abandoning
your present occupation ior is
popularly regarded as a more attractive
avocation. -'-
Remember that while the loarned
professions are overcrowded, there is
always a demand for skilled and un
skilled labor, and that it is far better
to succeed in mechanical or manual
work than to fall in professional life.
. a 14-"U
' Be not over eager to amass weaiui,
r they who are anxious -. to become
fall into temptations and mto tne
res of the devil, and into many un
liable and hurtful desires whicn
m men in destruction and perdi-
feverish ambition to accumulate
irtune, which may be called our
nal distemper, is mcompaiioie
peace of mind. Moderate means
a contented spirit are preferable
lillions without it.
poverty has its inconveniences
(miseries, wealth has often greater
small income is suggestive of ab-
tous habits, and abstemious habits
onducive to health, while wealth
powerful incentive to excessive
bence, which is a fruitful source
lplicated diseases.
loor peasant who was roaming
Horning through his landlord's
le in the hope of catching some
to appease his hunger was sud-
confronted by its owner, and
rhat induced him to be out so
pray, what brings you out so
Interposed- the peasant.
ri trying to find an appetite for
akfast," replied his lordship.
I," added the peasant, am
to find a breakfast for my
two men the pampered
A Number of Bright Snylngs toy tiie
Rlslns Generation.
Teacher Johnny, can you name the
three graces?
Johnny (aged six) Yes'm. Breakfast,
dinner and supper.
Father Tommy, this is a very bad re
port you bring from school.
Tommy I know it, papa; but you said
if I brought home a good report you
would give me a quarter, and I wanted
to save you that expense.
Viola (aged four) Mamma, can I give
one of my dolls away?
Mamma Why, dear, what do you want
to give one away for?
Viola Because I find twins too great
a charge.
Willie, aged five, had been warned not
to eat mince pie for supper, but insisted
on having a piece nevertheless. The
next morning he related a wonderful
dream in which bears had chased him,
snakes crawled down his back, a camel
turned a somersault over his head and a
big elephant rolled on him.
"There!" exclaimed his mother. "I told
you if you ate mince pie for supper you
would have bad dreams."
"Well, I don't care," replied the
youngster. "It was better than a circus,
anyway, and I didn't have to give up a
quarter to get in." Chicago News.
Whistle A grain.
"George, George, mind! Your hat will
be blown off if you leari so far out of the
window!" exclaimed a fond father to his
little son, who was traveling with him in
a railway carriage. Quickly snatching
the hat from the head of th refractory
youngster, papa hid it behind his back.
"There, now, the hat has gone!" he
cried, pretending to be angry. And
George immediately set up a howl. After
a time the father remarked:
"Come, be quiet. If I whistle, your hat
will come back again." -
Then he whistled and replaced the hat
on the boy's head. "There, it's back
again, you see " 1 Afterward, while papa
was talking to mamma, a small, shrill
voice was heard saying:
"Papa, papa! I've thrown my hat out
of the window! Whistle
you?" New York Tribune.
again, wi;
Hidden Powers.
"I am perfectly amazed at Miss Bai
row's brilliant conversation," said Mer
ritt to lticketts.
"But 1 thought you had known her
for -years?" said Ricketts.
"It is true that we have belonged to
the same club for years, but I have
never heard her talk."
"Impossible! What sort of a club was
"Whist club." Detroit Free Press.
The Charm of It.
"Ikn goin' to school n:)w," said Willie.
"Oh, are you? Do you like it?"
"That's good. That's a sure sign that
you'll Kara fast. I suppose your teacher
is a very pleasant lady, isn't she?"
"Naw I don't like her very well. -"But
there's a boy in our class that can make
his ears .go up and down and wiggle the
top of his head." Chicago Record-Herald-
, .. .
0 For a Very Good Reason.
! told him I would make him eat his
POs," deehl ' ' Juod hotly,
Speaking of a w Jiei ne nad had with
Mr. Brushton. He has been telling
things about me that are rank un
truths." .
"How foolishly men talk to one an
other!" commented Mrs. . Beech wood
"What do you mean?" demanded her
husband. "Do you intend to insinuate
that men talk to each other more fool
ishly than women chatter?"
"Of course I do," the lady went on
irnperturbably. "Now. " women never
try to make each other eat their words
no matter bow angry they may be."
"Certainly not," retorted Mr. Beech
wood, "and for a very good reason too."
"What reason?" she demanded.
"Because their digestive apparatus is
inferior to their vocabulary." Pitts
burg Chronicle-Telegraph.
Why Wafer Won't Fry.
Why cannot we fry in water? Be
cause water can only be heated to the
boiling point, 212 degrees, and any ad
ditional heat does not increase its tem
perature. Two hundred and twelve de
grees of heat will not brown the sur
face of anything. Fat, on the contrary,
can be made much hotter, the tempera
ture depending ou the kind. There is a
lesson here for the economical house
wife. Don't stuff the stove with fuel
.when the vegetables, meat, etc., are
already boiling. They cook no faster
because of the increase of beat.
landlord was perhaps the greater suf
ferer; a long and severe regimen
would be necessary to restore his
health, while a hearty meal would suf
fice to relieve the pain of the peasant.
4. Sobriety will be an angel of
tranquilty and comfort to yourself and
family. While this virtue should be
cultivated by all men, it ought to be
especially cherished by the laboring
class, who are so much exposed to the
opposite viee.
Intemperance has brought more des
olation to homes than famine or the
sword, and is a more unrelenting ty
rant than the grasping monopolist.
5. Above all, let religion be the
queen of your household.
It will be a sacred bond Uniting all
the members in the ties of domestic
It will be the guardian of peace and
contentment; it will season the bread
cf labor. "Not by bread alone doth
man live, but by every word that pro
ceedeth from the mouth of God."
It will be to you an unfailing source
of wealth, for "godliness with suffi
ciency is great gain."
"It is profitable to all things, hav
ing the promise of the life that now
is and of that which is to come.
wnen tne evening oi me nas come,
. m i
and your earthly labors are drawing
to a close, it will cheer you with bright
prospect of an eternal Sabbath.
Last Week's Review of
Many Happenings.
A heavy snow fell on the northern
slope of the Adirondacks Thursday.
The production of anthracite coal for
1901 is said to bo the greatest on rec
ord. Mrs. Witwcr. charged at Dayton, C.
with the murder of her sifter, is bold
without bail.
Miss Eastwick of Philadelphia has
pleaded guilty in London of forging a
railroad certificate.
Saturday night fire destroyed the
New England build; ng at the Tan
American exposition.
Mayor Harrison of Chicago has sug
gested a law fo-rV; Iding private wine
rooms in city s.;"nuus.
The Pennsylvania supreme court has
decided that tht Philadelphia "ripper"
law is unconstitutional.
Sir Thomas Lipton has offered Sham
reck II. for sale, and two bids have
been made ior her purchase.
It is announced that Richard Croker
of New York has sent $500 to the Cork
International exhibition fund.
Census Director Merriam estimates
the total population of the United
States and new possessions in 1910 at
100,( '00.000.
Ano5ier world's recoi-d was broken at
Billing's park, Memphis, Tenn.. Wednes
day, when Audubon Boy paced a half
mile in 1:004.
E. Darwin Colvin, one of the wealth
iest circus managers in the country,
diefi Wednesday in the SturteVant
House, New York.
The Northern Pacific railroad Tues
day took out at Duluth, Minn., a
$20,000,000 lire insurance policy .cover
ing its whole system.
The Illinois supreme court has or
dered capital stock, including fran
chises, of Chicago , corporations to be
assessed for taxation.
Rev. Dr. Lorimer has resigned as pas
tor of the Tremont Temple Baptist
church, Boston, to go to the Madison
Avenue Baptist church. New York city.
Miss Kate Livingstone, a sister of Dr.
Livingstone, the explorer, who has just
celebrated her birthday at her home on
the Isle of Mull, is said to be 100 years
.The new battleship Retvizan, built
In Philadelphia for Russia, has made
an average of 18.8 knots in a run of
twelve hours, breaking the battleship
, The president has appointed George
E. Koester, Gold Democrat, collector
of internal revenue for the district of
South Carolina to succeed W. L. Web-
The state department T
the Siamese minister to t
States -left Bangkok Sept
United States. His name
ha raj Oradhara.
Dr. George Stockton Burroughs, pr
fessor of Old Testament literature in
Oberlin college and from 1892 to 1899
president of Wabash college, is dead at
Clifton Springs, N. Y.
The differences between the employ
ees and proprietors of the Macbeth
Evans lamp chimney factory in El
wood, Ind., have been settled, and the
plant has resumed in all departments.
Captain James C. Michie. commissary
of the National Soldie? hdine for
many years and a brother of the late
General Micbie of West Point, died
suddenly Sunday, aged sixty years, in
Dayton, O.
The heroic bronze statue of General
Albert Pike, for many years the grand
commander of the Ancient and Accept
ed Order of Scottish Rite Masons for
the southern jurisdiction, was unveiled
in Washington Thursday.
- Among interesting incidents of the
Yale bicentennial was the action of the
class of '77, Sheffield Scientific school,
at their reunion and banqxiet in raising
a fund of $G,000 to found a scholarship
in the scientific department.
The police of Chicago received word
early Wednesday morning of the arrest
of three men at Corning, N. Y., who
are believed to be the gang who robbed
the postoffiee of Chicago. A satche
full of postage stamps was in. their pos
session. President Roosevelt's action in enter
taining Booker T. Washington at the
WThite House was upheld by the Amer
ican Missionary society, which opened
its fifty-fifth annual meeting Tuesday
at the First Congregational church at
Oak Park, 111.
The New York Central railroad ticket
office at Oswego, N. Y., was broken into
Wednesday night while the agent and
other employees 'were temporarily ab
sent and from $i50 to $300 stolen from
the cash drawer. The burglars have
not been caught.
At Buffalo, Sunday, John Sondberg,
thirteen years old, and Joseph Stack,
six years old, were killed on the Lehigh
Valley tracks near Smith street. They
were playing on the tracks when a
yard engine ran them dowi The bod
ies wrere badly mangled.
President Roosevelt was unanimously
elected a comrade of the Union "Veteran
union Tuesday at the opening session
in Chicago of the sixth annual encamp
ment of the organization. This action
was taken immediately after a message
of congratulation had been received
from the chief executive.
The northbound express train on the
Southern Pacific was held up by two
masked men fifteen miles south of Eu-
; gene,
Or., at 3 o'clock Wednesday
Subscribe for the WORKMAN
LV 1
"1 t-
miming, xiie roooers uiev
iplress car with dynamite,
J Jao booty except one regis
f Mich, having been driven
I Tfiress messenger.
nung. The roDuers Diew open- tu.
)res?s car with dynamite, but secur-
stered mail
off by the
The body of Remsen II. Brown has
bejn tak?n to Carthage, N. Y., for in
ter, nent. His age was ninety-one years,
anii be was an old time hotel keeper on
the St. Lawrence and in Carthage. He
was the oldest living member of the Or
der of Elks and tbt oldest man ever
nitiated into that oivli r, having joined
Parons (Kan.) lot'ge a year ago.
Burglars broke into a vault of the
Chicago postoflioe sr;ue time between
Saturday night and Monday morning
and stola stamps to the value of $74.
010. Postoffice offici.il' believe the cn'i
vault was the objective and that In the
darkness the robbers mistook the stamp
var.lt for the great treasure box. Ha 1
they been successful in entering tlv
cash vault they would have secure I
from $300,000 to $500,000.
At York, Pa., Sunday, Miss Barbara
Ilgenfritz, aged twenty, ana Harvey
Neweomer, aged nineteen, were instant
ly killed by being struck by a freight
train on the Northern Central railway
near-Glen Rock, south of that city. Mb;-
Ilgenfritz went on a visit to Glen Rock,
and Newcomer accompanied her. Upon
returning they walked along the track
and stepped out of the way of one train
and got in front of another.
Another massacre of American troops
has been averted by Lieutenant Thom
as M. Bains, Jr., of the Ninth United
States infantry. Thr lieutenant dis
covered a prisoner re-entering a cell at
Calbiga, Samar, w:. re several were
confined, through a hle that had been
let in the wall. An i.; restigation show-ed-aplan
to fill the jail with bolomen
and to call the gunvd. which would be
necessary to get t ' door open, and
then to attack the son.
The decision to c!:- r the Pan-American
fair on the night f Nov. 2 enables
the accountants to make a fairly accu
rate estimate of the loss which the
Pan-American will suffer. It will ex
ceed $4,000,000. The stockholders will
receive back nothing for the $2,500,000
which they put in. Contractors who
built the exposition will lose $1,000,000,
and the issue of $500,000 second mort
gage bonds will be defaulted as well as
20 per cent of the first mortgage bohd-;.
irrederlck Archer, organist of Carne
gie Music hall and perhaps the greatest
crranit in the world, died at his home
in Pittsburg, Pa., on Tuesday of can
cer of the stomach. Mr. Archer was
musical examiner of Glasgow universi
ty In 1879 and later organist at the
Plymouth church, Brooklyn, and the
Church of the Incarnation, New York.
He was editor of The Key Note and
from 1S95 to 1S98 conductor of the
Pittsburg orchestra. He Was sixty
three years old.
Arjdrew Carnegie has given 37,0d0
tdpstablish" libraries at Dundee.
It is reported in Brussels that
j naandant Botha is encamped with
dispatch from Sf . -iet wlsays
Count Tolstoi has had a sudden
e ana tnat nis conumon is con-
1 von Siemens, founder and former
difefctor of the Deutsche bank and a
leading member of the reichstag, died
Wednesday in Berlin.
Poisoned at a Wefldlng.
Bath, N. Y., Oct. 23. Physicians of
this place were telephoned to hurry to
Cass Corners, Campbell Creek, Buck
Settlement and South Howard, all of
which are hamlets near Bath. The aid
of t'Jte doctors was needed for about
ninety people suffering from symptoms
of poisoning, the nature of which has
not been determined. One hundred per
sons were at a wedding party, and aft
er the party was over ninety of the
guests, including the officiating clergy -mail,
the Rev. George Scherer, were
Negro Darned at Stalce.
New Orleans, Oct. 25. News has
been received here from Columbia,
Miss., just across the Louisiana line,
that a negro named Bill Morris was
burned at the stake for an assault upon
the wife of John Ball, a planter. He
was tied to a pine sapling, and his
hands and feet were chained. Pine
knots and straw were piled about the
body and saturated with coal oil and a
match, applied. He made no resistance
when being bound to the stake and said
he deserved his fate.
Relel Capture a Town.
Washington, Oct. 25. Advices were
received in this city yesterday from
Colombia to the effect that the revolu
tionists had taken the town of Tunia
co, on the Pacific coast near the Ecua
dorian frontier, and are now marching
toward Guapi, which is near Buena
ventura. The cablegram also says that
yellow fever is epidemic in Buenaven
tura. Cxolsoss's Exit Tuesday Morning,
Albany, Oct. 25. Leon V. Czolgoss.
President McKinley's assassin, will l
electrocuted at Auburn prison at 7
o'clock Tuesday morning. Warden
Mead has issued tbe invitations, tw-en-ty-six
in number, and the witnesses
have been instructed to present them
selves in the warden's office at 6:30
o'clock the morning appointed.
Passenger Train Jumps tne Trac2t.
Ottumwa, la., Oct. 25. Two people
were probably fatally hurt, five were
seriously and a number of others slight
ly injured in the wreck of a Chicago,
Burlington and Kansas City passenger
train near Exline, la., sixty miles from
here. The train, while running rap
idly, left the rails and plunged down
a forty foot embankment.
Advertise in the WORKMAN.
fj T i ,
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flarp. rJAaa
4 H
x feitreed
At First ninsli. However, III Iferre
Seems Appalling.
The hour was growing late, and yet he
sat and sat in the parlor.
She yawned openly and above board,
and yet he didn't take the hint.
"Wait till I set the pitcher out for the
milkman," she said at length and disap
peared, only to find him comfortably en
sconced in another chair upon her return
and with no apparent idea of taking the
"My," she gasped, yawning again cav
ernously, "but it sounds quiet! I believe
the cars have stopped."
"Uh-huh," said he and sat on.
She went down to the basement to put
the cat out, and he was stn perched on
his chair looking wide av ;.., when she
returned to the parlor.
"The morning paper hasn't come yet,"
she said affably, but meaningly.
"That so?" said he, twisting his mus
tache, and he went on sitting in the
"How little sleep you require!" she
broke out a trifle impatiently after a
"Uh-huh,;' said he musingly.
"Well," said she after another pause,
rising and stretching her arms, "I be
lieve I shall go to bed."
"Well, doggone the luck," said he,
emerging from his reverie and glaring
at her, "why the dickens don't you, in
stead of gaping in my face that way?
Who the deuce's keeping you up, any
way?" Whereupon she bestowed an amiable
smile upon him and went up stairs.
Not so very. He was her husband, you
see, and he was sitting in the parlor sulk
ing and glooming and nursing his grouch
because he'd been invited to sit into a
little game of poker that night and
couldn't accept the same because he
didn't have the dough to buy the first
round of chips. Washington Post.
He Had Proof.
"Say. ma!"
"There are seven liars in our class at
"Oh, I wouldn't say that, dear. You
might be mistaken."
"No, I ain't. Yesterday the teacher
said all of us that never told a lie should
hold up our hands."
"And there were seven there who
didn't hold up their hands?"
"No. There were seven that did."
Chicago Record-Herald.
Its Probable Meaning?.
"I awsked her," said Fweddy, "to
dawnce the next set with me, and she
handed me this cahd. I cawn't make
anything out of it."
"Let me see it." said Cholly.
Fweddy showed him the card. It was
inscribed with the single and somewhat
mysterious word, "Gabasu."
'That's perfectly plain." said Cholly.
"Go Away Back and Sit Down." Chica
go Tribune.
Ostensible Head of the Family Maria,
there was a canvasser here today who
wanted to sell me a work on etiquette
and good behavior; teaches it in six les
sons. , I told him I'd ask you if you
thought we wanted it.
1 Head It's nil humbug, John. It,
e taught in six lessons.. I've been
to teach it to you for sixteen years
haven't succeeded yet.
, Girls, Girls!
Miss Sharpe Yes, he was pleased to
say I was the nicest girl he knew. You
must have heard him say it.
Miss Jellus Oh. yes, I hoard him, but
it was such a surprising remark I could
scarcely trust my ears when
Miss Sharpe The idea! Your cirs are
certainly old enough and big enough to
be trusted. Philadelphia Press.
"It seems to me," said the friend cau
tiously, "that a man ought to avoid be
coming too dependent on his wife, how
ever much he may esteem her judgment
and skill."
"That's right," answered Mr. Meekton.
"And Henrietta recognizes the fact. Sh
lets me sew on all my own buttons."
Washington Star.
An Indifference Center.
Percy I don't see how you can keep
so blamed cheerful and contented.
Guy Easy enough. I don't waste time
or vitality thinking about the people who
have more of this world's favors than I
have. Detroit Free Press.
Quite nigrnt.
Vigilance Committee (at the door)
Throw trp yer hands, Ike! We are goin
to lynch you for boss stealin.
Alkali Ike (leaping out of the back
window) I'll be hanged if you do.
Briefly Stated.
"I suppose, like all girls, you have
evolved an ideal for a husband."
"What is it?"
"A man." Chicago Post.
On tlte Gridiron.
Tbe men behind Use football
Affain are to t!-.- front.
And on ihe grit the pigskin
TSicy loss ami push and punt.
Again they're fiercely plunging
And striving for the goal.
And with the same abandon
Again in mud they rolL
They're just as brave and brawny
As they were in the past.
And when it comes to sprinting
They prove they're jttt as fast.
They care not for the we.-i.hcr.
For, be it dry or wet.
They're eagerly contesting
For glory that's to get.
Again the football maidens
The chosen colors don.
And at the grid they rally
To cheer their heroes on.
Again the football rootera
Let loose disrnn'unt ella,
And every tin horn td.iwer
The noisy chorus dw-.-Ui.
Again the ambulances'
Are rushing: to and fro.
Each bearing hero wounded
In battling with the foe.
The surgeons and the nurse ' .
Are busy in each room.
And druggists are reporting
A sticking plaster boom.
Again attention centers
On touchdowns and on goal;
Again is fame inscribing
New names upon her rolls.
Though summer had its heroes.
Their praise no more we sing;
Tbe men behind the football
Are now the real thing!
Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegrapa.
Dunkotng a. Japanese.
J. P. Q." was only an enlisted man
In Uncle Sam's navy, but his mess
mates called him "the Swell" because
whenever he went ashore he carried a.
suit of civilian's clothes. At Yoko
hama, in his fine raiment and a white
felt hat, he passed himself off to a
Japanese coal merchant as the pay
master of the fleet and contracted for
several thousand tons of coal. The
price named, was $14 a ton.
"What U my rake off?" ho asked the
dealer, who offered a generous commis
sion. "Make the price sixteen dollars
a ton and have thousand tons
ready for delivery at the earliest pos
sible hour tomorrow morning," he said.
The merchant opened wine, and
when thoroughly warmed up the sailor
remarked, looking indolently at his
watch: "By the bye, I'm expected to
visit the club tonight, and it is prob
able that I may need a little more
money than I have in my pocket. Per
haps you had better advance me three
or four thousand dollars on account."
Of course he got what he wanted.
Next morning the vessels were sur
rounded with scores of barges laden
with coal, and it was all the officers
could do to prevent the Japs from un
loading their cargoes. The dealer dar
ed say nothing, for he bad entered into
a conspiracy to defraud the govern
ment, so he pocketed his loss In si
lence. New York Press.
Now They Never Speak.
A coolness growing out of the fol
lowing conversation has sprung up be
tween Jones and Smith.
"I had a splendid time last night,"
said Jones. "I spent the evening at a
little social gathering at the Goodman
"Are the Goodmans nice people?"
queried Smith.
"Well, I should say so. They are
very rlsiccratic. To get into thei? cir
cle one must have either a greatvdeal
of money or a great deal of genius."
"You don't tell me so? And you say
you were there?"
"You were invited, were you?"
"Of course."
"And to be invited a man has to have
plenty cf money or a great deal of gen
ius?" "Precisely."
""Well, Jones, I am very glad to hear
you have become rich all of a sudden.
Lend me five pounds!" London An
swers. 1
Reasons For a Divorce.
The Druses sometimes divorce their
wives for apparently the most trivial
causes. . Thus a man named Soleiman
Attala bad a wife, Isbakyeh. The wo
man frequently worked for us, and on
several occasions I had to complain
that she talked too much and worked
too little. At length 1 was obliged to
tell Soleiman that owing to his wife's
laziness I could employ her no longer.
Shortly afterward I went to England.
On my return after a couple of;
months absence I was surprised to
JJiiuUthat-SQleiKiiia. had divorced Isbak-
yeh and had already married another,
woman. On inquiring from him the
cause of tVU I "Your honor
told me thiii ;v. . . . t employ my
wife again, so I thought I would get
rid cf her and marry another woman
whom you would employ." Black
wood's Magazine.
Coaling a BrltisTi Visitor.
A lii?? Tiritish bnttlesh?) comins here
! to attend a patriotic function of some
kind ou the invitation of our govern
ment ran short of coal, and Uncle Sam,
as best, agreed to fill her bunkers free
of charge. This courtesy was done
through the medium of a Jersey City
merchant, who supplied fine furnace
coal, worth from to $7 a ton and
presented his bill to the English cap
tain. "Send it to the navy depart
ment," said the latter, and to Washing
ton it went, to be returned by the next
mail with a memorandum attached
saying that an error had been made
In the charge, "the government con
tract calling for coal at $3 a ton." And
that is all the smart .Terseyite ever re
ceived. New York Tress.
A'o Rebate.
When Adcliua Patti visited Madrid
one time in company with her husband,
Signor Nicolini, who thought himself a
tenOr -singer, there was an effort to en
gage the noted artist for an especial
occasion. The opera director asked:
"Plow much will you charge us if you
and your honored husband appear on
this occasion for one night?"
"Ten thousand francs, sir."
"And how much if you come without
the signor, madarv.oT'
"Ten thousand francs."
Catherine de' Medici.
Catherine de' Medici of France was
a tall, dignified woman of striking per
sonal appearance. ' Her manner was of
ten cold and repulsive, lier language
haughty. She was never popular or
well liked. Her features were regular,
and tbe chief merit of ber countenance
was a full black eye that seemed to
fascinate those on whom she looked.
Jangle Talk.
"Hello! Where are you going?" cried
the lion as the fleet footed stag dashed
by him.
"Oh, I'm just traveling for my health,'?
panted the stag. "Why do you ask?"
"My friend the tiger invited me to
participate In a stag dinner party to
day, and I was wondering if you were
ti p..rtr." Phlluelphla Press.
A Leiion In Washing.
Pliny the Great could see things in
front f his nose as well as afar off.
"I notice that the women rub the wash
ing in cold water," he wrote one day.
"Let them heat the water, and the al
kali in the soap will be freed and take
far better effect." And only after that
Hd women know how to wash.

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