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ITHE ARGUS, MONDAY AUGUST, 3. 1908
j THE ARGUS.
- Published Daily and Weekly at 162
Second avenue. Rock Island. liL En
tered at the Dostoffice aa second-class
matter. . , ,-.
BY THE J. W. POTTER CO.
TERMS Dally, 10 cents per week.
Weekly, SI per year in advance.
- All communications of argumentative
character, : political or religious, must
have , real nam attached for publica
tion. No such articlea will be printed
over fictitious signatures.- ., .,
Correspondence solicited from every
township In- Rock 'Island county.
-- v - , Monday, August 3, 1908.-
For President of the United
' ' ' States, -
WILLIAM JENNINGS BRYAN
' Of Nebraska.
For Vice President,
JOHN WORTH KERN
, Of Indiana. j
I hereby announce myself aa a candi
date for the democratic nomination for
representative from the Thirty-third
senatorial district, subject to the de
cision of the democratic voters of the
district as voiced at the primary elec
tion Aug-. 8. and ask the support of all
Who deem me worthy.
C. C. WILSON.
Being a 'candidate for the democratic
nomination for representative in the
legislature from the Thirty-third sena
torial district, subject to the decision
of the primaries of Aug. 8, I respect
fully solicit the support of my friends
and ail those who deem me deserving
and worthy. H. L. WHEELAN.
. The beginning and the end of Sen
ator Hopkins is "self. ,
Here it is at last. The entire popu
lation of the world has been computed
at 1 479.729.40ft.
Judge Taft is certainly a fluent
writer, though he doesn't know so
many adjectives as Mr. Roosevelt. '
. The most despicable of all men is
he who lets his friends in on the
ground floor , and pulls the floor out
from under them. '
Apparently where the democrats
made their mistake-was in not ealliug
on Mr. Taft for his advice while writ
ing their platform.
If President Roosevelt finds himself
in indirect contempt, he wants to re
member that the democratic platform
vffers him a jury trial.
. Burma is making money but of pea
nut growing. .-The peanut acreage in
creased from 3,800 -acres in 1903 to
80,000 acres in 1907. -
That St. Louis' hero who remained
on . the water wagon for a year has
jeceived his $250,. but nothing has yet
been said about a Carnegie medal.
Statistics show that - the average
citizen today imbibes three pints
more of spirits, a pint more of wine
and 36 quarts more of ale and beer
cnnually than he did 20 years ago.
The Chicago, Milwaukee & St. Paul
will use electric locomotives to pull
trains over the mountains on its Pa
cific coast extension. The electricity
will be generated by water power,
thus saving the immense fuel cost, so
that the mountains will be made to
yield the force necessary to traverse
them. The fact illustrates anew that
we are just wakening up to our" pos
sibilities. The coming governor of Arkansas
has been1 off on a two months trip,
touring the state capitals and gath
ering information about legislation
and problems- of state government
over the country. He says he pro
poses to give a business administra
tion and remove" some popular im
pressions about the state. Hereto
fore the only, qualifications expected
of the- governor of Arkansas are the
ability to drink and talk.
According to investigations of the
geological survey the production of bi
tuminous coal in the United' States in
1307 was 394,845730 short, tons, com
pared with 342,874.867 for 1906," an in
crease of 51,970,863 tons, or 16.16 per
cent. : Theproductlon of Pennsylvania
anthracite coal in 1907 was 76,432,421
Ipng-tens, or 85,604,312 . short tons,
against 63.G43.010 long tons, or 71,282,
411 short tons, in 19GG an increase of
12.787.411 "long tons, or 14,321,901
thort tons. - Total value of . the output
in, 1907 is estimated' at $614,931,549,
against $513,079,809 for 1906.
. . : The New "Peace League.
An "appropriate 1 motto, the' New
York Post, says, for. ane peace league
whose honorary presidency Mr. Roose
velt has accepted would be "ense petit
placidam quietum," which, freely trans
lated, runs: "We are going to have
peace if we have to fight for it." The
approaching congress of the league is
to be held in October at Greensboro,
N. C, and will be the first "at which
of, the growing burden which armament
and international arbitration stand
side by side.": This would seem to
realize Patrick Henry's , vjsion where
gentlemen may cry peace, peace, but
there is no peace. :., To advocate arbi-
tration on the one band and on the .
other a continuance and enlargement;
of the growing burden which armamet
entails, is to attempt .an , impossible
task. If the peace league's program!
is self-destructive, the project of an
other "organization called the league of
peace must be regarded as. somewhat
visionary... The latter organization will
launch, the federation of, the world at
once. It. proposes ( The Hague tribunal'
as the International analog of our su
preme court; the Interparliamentary
union, as the world's legislature; and
intends, to create the electoral college
of ' 100,000 of the. . world's '.. intellectual
leaders who will ballot by postal card'
for the world s peacemaker,. the. execu
tive capstone of the world's united
states of peace. The favorites for the
last position are said to be Mr.' Roose
velt, Emperor William, King Edward,
and Mr. Carnegie. ,
The death of, the mahdt has left the
Held open to 7 the first two eminent
peacemakers.- We fear this augmenta
tion of quixotic, peace societies." The
kind that will be of real value will de
mand peace without ' compromise in
season and out of season, and denounce
those half-hearted advocates who are
war's Lest friends. . -
Some Freak Homes.
Two houses that are to be"distlnct
novelties are to be constructed in the
suburbs of New York. One. man is to
build a house at the seashore that
will revolve by Vhe pressure of an
electric button. The advantages of
this whirling bungalow are obvious,
for it will catch the breeze coming
and going. The other house is to have
disappearing walls. The advantage of
this arrangement is to make it pos
sible to convert the first floor into
one big room for certain occasions
when much space is required, such
as receptions or other social func
tions. Tho power will be electric and
the partitions by means of grooves
will be lowered to the floor level, giv
ing an unobstructed space of four" or
five combined rooms if desired.
The next, man will probably invent
a disappearing house for that large
class of New Yorkers who are put to
trouble to avoid process servers.
-. Governor Hughes. v
Governor Hughes as a power In New
York is beginning to be recognized
although he cut small figure In-the
Chicago convention. It is ge'nerally
agreed that the Taft ticket stands no
show" whatever in New York unless
Hughes is again - nominated for
governor. Some" "men in Cov
entor Hughes' shoes might take de
light in telling the solicitous mana
gers that they are too late and should
have thought of those things in Chi
cagu. . :-..'.' . .
The governor, however, is disposed
to be tractable and believes that gu
bernatorial salary in the., hand is
worth two presidential possibilities in
GROSSCUP'S . OPTIMISM.
Chieago Jurist Who Ordered $29,240,000
' Oil Fine Set Aside.
'Judge Teter S, Grosscup "of Chicago,
one of, the three Judges of the United
States court of appeals who reversed
the action of Judge Kcuesaw Laudis
in fining the Standard Oil" company
$29,240,000, was born on Feb. 15,
1S52, at Ashland. O. He was educated
In the schools of Ashland and in Wit
tenberg college, one of the educational
Institutions of the Lutheran church,
graduating In 1S72 at the head of bis
class. He obtained his degree of bach
elor of laws from the' Boston Law
school. . He practiced law In Ashland,
O.. from 1S74 to 1S83. being city solic
itor for six years of that time. In 1S7G
he was a candidate of the Republican
party for congress, but was defeated.
In 1S83 he went to Chicago and en
tered the law firm headed by Leonard
Swett. a former law partner of. Abra
ham Lincoln and the best known law
yer at that time of the west. From
this time he participated In some of
the most Important trials occurring In
the -west and built up his reputation as
a lawyer. -
Judge Grosscup's decisions as a
judge have wou him a high rank as an
Interpreter of the law. He was ap
pointed - to the United States circuit
court of appeals by. President McKln
ley in 1809. He takes an ; optimistic
view of affairs. . At a dinner one time
he remarkedr- ; : '
"As the . world matures it improves,
just as we improve as we mature. 7 A
man of " mature mind is an improve
ment on a child. . He is In every way
better. He ' is more, generous, ! more
courageous and. more kind. .. .
. "I have no sympathy with those who
laud childhood and the Virtues of chil
dren. I hold that children are only a
little removed from savages, and when
I hear them lauded I think of a boy
I used to know. This boy's brother
lay ill with a fever, a bad fever, so
that it was feared' he might succumb.
: ; "To the well youngster the nurse
said one morning: ;. .
"T.'What will you do if your brother
dies? ." - "
. '.'The child calmly answered:"
". 'I'JI have his Noah's ark, won't ir "
HOUSE OF TAGS AND RAGS.
Ohio Man Believes His Idea Beat
' Edison's Cement Block Dwelling,
John Budd of. Defiance! .0., hits
Edison beaten when It comes to build
ing a dwelling house at small cost and
of new material.. Edison claimed that
he could, mold a cement block", house at
a cost less than naif the cost of an or
dinary frame dwelling, but the great.
disadvantage .of "Edison's bouse is that'
lit is apt to be damp, while a boose
built Ql-the.. ccmispsitiOB ' Invented by
Mr." Budd" is Twaterprobfr according, to
the claims of theyinventor, and costs
not quite as much as Edison's cement
bouse. - . ; ".
Mr. Budd has applied at Washington
for a patent and in answer to his ap
plication has received notice tuat nis
composition is - patentable and that
steps will be taken at once to give him
protection. To give a practical dem
onstration of his new composition Mr.
Budd Is building a house of it on Sum
mit street, East View addition. '
The composition Mr. Budd will not
make public at this time, but it is com
posed of broken bottles, broken brick.
mud, feathers, straw and most anyr
thing. A framework of the house Is
built up, and this composition Is then
poured into it. After it Is dried the
framework is removed, the walla
smoothed off, and any artistic touches
desired can be given. ' -
The house Mr. Budd is building I?
to be of the new composition through
out, even to the floors and roof. Proof
of the waterproof qualities of the new
composition . are demonstrated by Mr.
Budd by pouring water over a cement
block and also over a block of his new
material. -.' ' ,
FINISH OF MARATHON RACE.
Conan Doyle's View of Hayes' Great
-' Run and Dorando's Tragic Fate.
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the novel
ist, In . describing the scene in the
stadium at the finish of the great
Marathon race in the Olympic games
In London said:
"I think In that great assembly not
any man would have wished to see
victory torn at the last instant from
the plucky little Italian, Dorando.
Thank God he is on his' feet again,
the little red legs going incoherently,
but drumming, hard driven by the su
preme wiU Within. There is a groan
as he falls again, a cheer as he re
staggers to bis feet. It is horrible,
yet fascinating, this struggle between
a set purpose and an utterly exhaust
ed frame.' Surely Tie is done now.
He cannot rise again. From under
the archway has darted a second run
ner, Hayes, the stars and stripes on
his breast, going gallantly and well
within his strength. .. There is only
twenty yards if the Italian can do It
He staggers up. no trace of intelli
gence upon his set face, and again the
red legs break luto their strange auto
matic amble.. Will be fall again? No,
he . says, and balances. Thjen he Is
through . the tape into a 'score of
friendly arms. He has gone to the
extreme of bumau endurance. No Ro
man ever bore himself better. The
great breed is not yet esftinct."
Then, after a tribute to the Ameri
cans ou their performances and ls
tnent over the Britishers' failure. Sir
Conan Doyle, referring to the judges
award of the victory .to John J.
"I confess I cannot see how the
judges could come to any other de
cision, and yet the tragedy remains.
It was,1 as matters stood,' a fair and
square win for the American since
without help Dorando must have lain
senseless on the track."
In his general reference to the
American athletes Sir Conan says:
"These Americans specialize, and
yet they retain the remarkable ap
pearance of all around excellence.
There Is no hypertrophy of Bpeclal
muscle. All is symmetry and balance,
beauty and grace. The theorist might
suppose the evolution of a type meager
In body and powerful in quarters.
"There is no sign of it to date. In
pole jumping there seems to be a
clean mastery at the game , in the
American style, which I can see no
NOVEL CAMPAIGN SPECTACLE.
Indiana Drillmaster's Maneuver to Put
Tsft's Name In Living Letters.
Richmond. Ind will have a Taft
marching club that will -be Taft in
name and Taft in its actual formation.
Captain Paul Comstock Is the origi
nator of the novel campaign spectacle.
Sixty-three young men are. so assem
bled In parade formation that the name
"Taft" is spelled out. There' being no
curved letters in the candidate's name,
the formatlou is comparatively easy,
and under Captain Corostook's direction
the sixty-three readily change their for
mation from seven lines of nine abreast
to four irregular divisions, which put
forth the name of the party's banner
bearer. . ' . -' ; . .
The marchers are gayly uniformed so
that the letters which they form stand
Pet Lion In a "Flat.
Passengers In a street car at Bag-
nolet a borough just outside, of Paris,
France, recently noticed a Hon staring
at them from the. top floor of an apart
ment house. Investigation revealed the
fact' that Favez Verdier, a tamer of
wild animals, kept the lion, which he
had tamed, in a caged room.
"I have bad several others here," he
said.'" "This one is as true as the best
dog. He knows me and the members
of my family. I have sold others, but
this' one, which I have brought up
here, I will not part with." .
;. ' ' A New 8u it Case.
There is a novelty in the way-of a
suit case. In size '14 by 10 inches, in
tended to carry a, bathing suit ".It is
rubber lined, light and - comfortable.
The; woman who owns her own. suit
ana prefers taking' it up to the house
with her when it la wet will find such
a- case aosxtremeIy. desirable In ven
tlon. .'. . ' ' ,. .- ' . .
- Huge Hats For Winter Wear.
Top. heavy girls are' to be a feature
of neit November's' procession, for the
winter hat Is to be enormous and cor
respondingly costly. s I
ffheflrgus Daily gfrort Story
A Shift of the Wind.-By Elliot Walker.
Copyrighted. 1908, by Associated Literary Press.
The small desk from which1 Pauline
pushed away her cbair seemed a liv
ing menace to her distracted mind.
" An hour before she bad seated her
self . with a brave resolution to
straighten matters, and now, after the
worrying bonr, heartsick and hopeles3
over the result, the womsn stared in de
spairing wonder. What should she do?
There lay her little bank book, the
pile of neatly arranged bills, her
check book, three letters from insistent
collection ; lawyers and, most direful
of all. a writ of attachment placed in
her hands that very morning by a po
lite man who wore brass 'buttons on
his vest. This man had purveyed her
surprise with an air of benevoleat sus
picion. The emptied pigeonholes appeared
to glare at her like eyes of reproach;
also the red figures in her recently
balanced bank book, indicating a sad
overdraft. The bank had a dreadful
way of accounting for its errors and
invariably put her in the wrong. She
would not go to the bank. There was
only one thing to do.
Opening a drawer, Pauline drew out
a photograph, gazed at it. moaned
like a hurt creature and finally, with
smarting eyes, began to tear the card.
Her fingers trembled. She could not
see for tears. : : "
"I can't." she whispered, dropping
the picture. "He Is only a memory
now. but I can't destroy It. When I
am Mrs. Winch John oh!"
Her maid was answering the door
bell's, clear peal. Tauline's fingers
were quick with handkerchief and
hair. What on earth did Carson Winch
want at this time of day?' -
"I'm In the library. Mattie." she
called, a bit amazed at her steadiness.
"It's Mr. Winch, ma'am," pushing
aside the portieres.
"Well, show him in here. I thought
It sounded like Mr. , Winch. Is he
"No. ma'am. Another gentleman is
"All right. I'll see them." She
pushed the telltale books and papers
in a heap and rose to draw a curtain
for a softe" light. Pauline was near
ly twenty -eight and showed It in the
The men came In smiling.
"I've brought Dean W'ickham to see
you. Miss Allard," said Mr. Winch.
"You've heard me speak of him."
"Oh, yes: I'm very glad to meet Mr.
Wlckham." Tauline's hand went out
cordially to grasp the clutch of a
bronzed, bearded, thick set man, who
regarded her admiringly.
"Sit dowrf and get acquainted, you
two," said Winch. "I can t stay. I'll
get around again lefore noon and car
ry him off, Fauline."i
There was that, in his tone sugges
tive, ctf L,ronr.'orshiu-aiyl..famUia.rity
NO matter how large or" how
small your business, it is
bound to force some valuable
employee to do work that can be done
better quicker cheaper by the v
Whether banker, broker, manufac
turer, wholesiiler, retailer, the useful
ness of the Universal Adding Machine
in your business will more than pay
its cost right from the start.
The Universal has ' a carriage that ...
permits the printing of regular or ir
icgular columns any distance -apart on
the same sheet; has individual cor
rection keys, prints totals and sub
totals in red, Is easy to operate, is
We solicit the . opportunity of
dPmonstrating to you on jour
work, in your ofllco at our ex
panse, tho proof of our claim.
Drop us a postal today.
Forest H. Montgomery, District Sales
Agent, Suite 1831-1836, Commercial Na
tional Bank Building, Chicago, 111.
Universal Adding Machine company,
St. Louis. Branch offices in all prin- '
cipal cities. y
S.tjrXH' V;L.' lUfc.VlIiM'-iJ V
whlch"grated'tn Pauline's" nerves. It
was a new note, something more than
usual, and the woman felt a pang of
resentment Carson should wait a lit
tle longer to pay for that
Pauline had been quite gay all win
ter and spring. The money left by her
aunt must lie about dissipated, Mr.
Winch thought. Pauline had lived on
legacies with small doubt of more com
ing at opportune times. Something al
ways turned up. -.
Her disregard of consequences could
lead to but one end. Her servants had
talked. The tradesmen had rubbed
indignant noses. Winch beard rumors
and chuckled good naturedly. Pauline
was a superior woman. He wanted
her and meant to get her. It was
merely a question of patience. Lately
his reward seemed in hi3 hand. Pau
line's negatives lacked the true ring.
After his cheery departure the host
ess talked brightly to Wlckbam and
soon bad the stranger recounting bits
of his history. She liked the man.
There- was a fine streak of simplicity
In his direct, crisp manner.
"Mr. Winch tells me it paid you to
wait, grubbing away on that lonesome
claim in Alaska," she said.
"Yes, It pays to wait when one has a
feeling about it." .
"You mean a doubt of the wisdom
of leaving a thing?"
"That's it. There have been lots of
us," he continued. "I tell you five
years makes a awful difference. . The
isolation, the rough life, the doing for
oneself, rarely seeing a woman and
never a cultured, refined lady, grow a
coat of fur. all right. But I've made
my pile if I have lost five years of
real living. I'm satisfied."
"Surely," said the woman. "Not all
are as fortunate."
"That's the worst of it. It Is heart
breaking to think of some fellows,
"gentlemen, you know confident eager,
impatient anxious to strike quick
luck and to go home with flying col
ors. They can't wait. They get to
roaming, and heaven only knows
where some of them land. One loses
all trace, but now and then" He
paused for a moment, half smiling.
Pauline Allard had grown pale. Her
caller did not notice the droop of the
fair head. He went on speaking.
"I've felt mighty sorry for one chap.
We were real friendly. He couldn't
wait I took over his little claim for
a trifle. It was next to mine. Bless
you. It proved the richest dirt of all
when I got to working it deep. He
was daft on surface finds. And off
went my hopeful acquaintance in spite
of entreaties. Funny!"
Again he smiled queerly.
"Mr. Winch must be delighted to
have yon. here," remarked Pauline ab
sently. Her thoughts were wandering
in a -dreary vista of tolling, disap-
pointed, men. far from their homes,
reckless, proud, the sort that never
would come back bearing the brand of
failure. ' :
"Oh, Carson, yes," ' returned Wick
ham. . "He's a decent enough fellow
after his fashion I I I beg pardon!
There, ; Miss Allard. you see how. a
man blunders when he has led such a
life as mine no tact 1 meant to say
that Winch Is a splendid chap per
sonally, but I'm not used to these
smart, successful men. ..We have had
considerable correspondence since he
heard I fras doing well a ' school
friend, you know, and, of course, In
terested. Welcomed me royally. I
couldn't say too much for Carson. He
has been most kind and confidential.
I was thinking of him in a business
way." don't exactly agree about
Investments. That was what I had In
mind. Ahem!" ; -.
Pauline's amused smile was serenity
" "I don't think a gentleman should
count his chickens' and tell the neigh
bors, do you?" she asked mischie
vously. "Ah! I misunderstood: jumped at
conclusions; entirely my fault" Wick
ham's blood showed redly through his
tan. and he stammered.
"You are a delightful bear," observ
ed Pauline placidly. "Maybe I will
become Mrs. Winch some day, if that
will relieve you. I shan't promise.
The wind, however, points in that di
They smiled at each other for a few
moments, and then Pauline said se
riously: ' .
"Mr.. Wickham, I like you.. I trust
you. I am going to ask . you a ques
tion. What you may surmise will be
a secret between us forever." : v
. She stepped to her desk and brought
forth the photograph. The man's face
set. - He was averse to sudden con
fidences. There was a tenseness in
her graceful figure that seemed unnat
ural. He coughed uneasily.
"I want you to look at this." said
Pauline. "I want to know if Jn your
travels you have ever met the original.'
. "Let's see it" said W'ickham bluntly.
"He took. the picture, gazed upon it
for a full minute and did not lift bis
' Meanwhile he fumbled in, a pocket
and drew out a letter.
"You may read this, dear lady," he
said thickly without looking up. "The
writer Is alive and well. Please sit
His head turned from her gasp and
glad cry. -
"Jack Frederick's girl." he whisper
ed to himself. "My God, she mustn't
sob like that!"
Presently he went over to her. His
touch on her hair was very gentle, his
deep voice tender as a woman's.
"You see, he will meet me In New
York on Wednesday. He learned of
my luck and obtained my address. He
says he has 'made.good' at last Yes.
it was John Frederick who sold bis
claim and helped enrich me. Now, If
you have read what he has written of
his hopes, his prayer to find some one
free and glad to see him. you must
But rauline would neither ceHse her
soft weeping nor give up the letter, so
Wickham left her and made his way
to the door.
"From the street he glanced back at
the attractive house and tasteful
"Whew!" whistled he. "I guess I'd
better not wait for Carson. There Is
a New York train In fifteen minutes.
If I were not so mighty tickled for
Jack I should feel sort of sorry for
Winch." " .
The public schools of a certain city
have an exacting form of art- The
pupils are placed before a model and
told to sketch as they see.
One day a little girl was seated in a
chair on the platform, and her class
mates were given the usual order.
The results varied. Some of the
drawings looked like a human being
in a state of repose, others like wooden
dolls, but one little girl had drawn
the chair And a tiny figure standing in
front of it.
"Mary," said the discouraged teach
er, "didn't I say, 'Draw Amelia as you
"Well, is she standing in front of the
"No'm. She's sitting In it"
"Then why didn't you draw ber sit
Tears came into the child's eyes. She
"But I hadn't got to it" she said,
'T was Just going to bend her down
when you rang the bell."
It Cant Be Beat.
The best of all teachers is exper
ience. C. M. Harden, of Silver City.
North Carolina, says: "I find Electric
Bitters does all thafb claimed for it
For stomach, liver and kidney troubles
It can't be beat. I have j.ried it and
find it a most excellent medicine."
Mr. Harden is rieht: it's the best of all
medicines also for weakness, lame back
and all run down conditions. Best too
i for chills' and malaria. Sold under
gurantee by'all druggist. 50c.'
Rheumatism Cured in Three Days. .
. N. B. Langiey, "Madison, Wis., says:
"I was almost helpless ; with rheuma
tism for about five months. Had It in
my neck so I; could not turn my head,
and . all . through my ' body: I tried
three doctors and ' many ;" remedies
without any .relief whatever until
procured;. Dr. :DetchonB n Relief for
Rheumatism., In a few hours the pain
was relieved, and In three days the
rheumatism was completely cured, and
I was at work. Sold by otto Grotjan,
1501 - Second event'-. Rock: Island ;
Gust. Schlegel & - 20 Wct Second
street, Davenport- - .' -V . "
Humor n3 Philosophy
By DUNCAN M. SMITH
FORGET IT SOMETIMES.
Tou can make your labor double f
It you worry over It,
Carrying the burden with you .
After other folks have quit. ' ,
Laying- it a.s a companion
Oa the pillow by your head
When you really should forget It
As you nestle down in bed. . -
Worrying, dear little .children. i
' WiU not get you anywhere. :
Kor will it the paces quicken
Of the staid and ancient mare.
It. when you have missed connections,
Will not make the train delay,
Nor will It the bill collector
From the doorstep chase away.
Worrying won't buy the baby .
Shoes to warm Its little feet.
Worrying will never purchase .
A suppiy of things to eat.
Worrying wllL not unaided
Prove a remedy for corns.
Nor present you a dilemma
Minus such a thing as horns.
. Nor can worrying exactly .
Be as an amusement classed.
There are other Joys that truly
Have it very far surpassed. ,
But perhaps.- defending worry, .
" Tou may argue It Is cheap.
But that doesn't make it lovely r
Cut It but and go to sleep!
"Have a cigar,. Bill."
"Oh, do have one.
"I believe , I will. I . am trying to
break myself, of the habit of using to
bacco." : -
The 1? Is soft;
The sky is blue.
I look aloft
And lie to you. ,
I swear your cheek
Is like the rose:
Whene'er you- speak
Sweet music flows.
My heart to you
I freely give: --My
fond love true -For
aye shall live.
' All this and mora " .
. I, lying, say
And on this shore
For aye would stay. .
For love and youth
Will ever sigh V. - '
. .. Nor reck of truth , I
' In sweet July.'
Reduced to a Science.
"I see the weather - department? Is
trying to give us long distance weather
predictions." . . -
"Another profitless dream. "
"No: that ought to be easy. t
"How can they . tell so far In : ad
vance?" ; - . '. ".
"Just look up the.' days when big
picnics are" advertised.' and predict
rain." : , . ' , '
"Are "the " times ' getting ; better; of
worse? - . , . .
"Yes." " ' "
"Which?""- ' '
"Oh, one of the other."
A lady optimist Is one who marries
a professional funny man. -
There is one good thing about poor
relations. They encourage .us to feel
our superiority. ...
Salable secrets are hard to keep-
when the other fellow has the price.
Frobably the reason why some don't
like to go into the closet to pray is be
cause they fear that the skeleton would
pull Our hair as we knelt . -
The man who is held up on every,
corner soon learns how to turn a man
flown. - .
High grade honesty doesn't - high
grade, as the miners say.- - , -- .
It is when, we are more or less In,
doubt that we talk a good deal about
a thing. . .
Too many-young married people be
gin housekeeping with all the modern
inconveniences." .' '
Being a hero may be all right in an
ticipation and ' tetrosneet : ;.bnt. at thm
crucial moment joe u apt,4o wish ,
If doesn't necessarily Impair vraan'
digestion ta have his teeth prove falsa.
r . .-..,.T,V..-, -:.vtji.ii.-. ..
life Is a saj of chance, with deatlt
offering a cam thing. - '