Newspaper Page Text
THE ARGU. TUESDAY. OCTOBER 0. 1908.
Published Daily and Weekly at 1624
Second avenue, Rock Island, 111. En
tered at' the postoITice as second-class
matter. J '
BY THE J. W. POTTER CO.
TERMS Daily, 10 cents per week.
Weekly, $1 per year in advance.
All communications of argumentative
character, political or religious, must
have real name attached for publica
tion. No such articles will be printed
over fictitious signatures.
- . Correspondence solicited from every
township in Rock Island county.
Tuesday, October 6, 1903.
SHALL THE PEOPLE RULE1
For President of. the Unite
WILLIAM JENNINGS BRYAN
For Vice President,
JOHN WORTH KERN
For Tlnlted States Senator Lawrence
For Governor Adlai E. Stevenson.
For Lieutenant Governor Elmer A.
For Secretary of State Xelpho F.
For Auditor Ralph Jeffries.
For State Treasurer John B. Mount.
For Attorney General Ross C. Hall.
For Clerk of Supreme Court John L.
University Trustees Edward Tilden,
A. 1 White, Isaac S. Raymond (long
term); A. L. Bliss (short term).
For Representative in Congress M.
Representative Henry I
For State's Attorney Robert R. Rey
nolds. For Coroner Pr. M. J. O'Hern.
For Surveyor George H. Hicka.
Longworth had butter not have said
it but after that he had better not
have denied it.
Well, who'd have thought the Rock
Island Exposition would cut a figure
in settling the presidential election of
The republican papers are attempt
ing to treat Nicholas Longworth's
presidential succession suggestion
made in Rock Island as a joke. "Why
then has the president's son-in-law
been so anxious to deny it?
In the 1803-91 so-called democratic
"panic" there were 17 bank failures.
In the 1&U7-0S "panic in Roosevelt's
administration, 43 banks stopped pay
ment That is one fact that repub
lican orators are kept busy dodging.
In these piping times of republican
prosperity it is interesting to note the
course of. the common council, school
board and civic societies in Chicago
acting in concert to the relief of the
hungry children of the western metro
polis. If we are to maintain the spirit of
republican institutions, overwhelming
defeat and prompt' rebuke must follow
so gnat a desecration of the self-gov
erning principle, to say nothing a'oon
so wanton a degradation of the presi
Roosevelt got $200,000 from Harri-
man, Sherman as chairman of the re
publican congressional committee co!
lected from trusts, and now Sheldon
repub'kan treasurer, is proceeding
to do the same thing. And tries
things show that the republicans ar3
"frying Out the fat" as
Philadelphia Record: Nicholas
longworth has seemed to be a pretty
sensible young man, but intimacy
with the president has turned his
bead, i If he had desired to exhibit
himself to the people . of the United
State a? a hopeless fool he could not
have cone better than to suggest that
after Mr. Roosevelt had let his friend
Taft occupy the White house for eight
years he would move back into it for
another couple of terms. Mr. Roose
velt's baleful influence seems to blight.
the moSc promising minds.
Present Week in Politic-.
Polities will continue to occupy the
center of the stage during the present
week. The strenuous tour of Mr.
Bryan through the middle west will
be continued, and .Mr. Taft likewise
has an itinerary mapped out for the
week that will keep him exceedingly
busy. Mr. Chafin, the prohibition
candidate, and Mr. Hisgen, the choice
ofUhe independence party for presi
dent,' will cover wide stretches of ter
Neither will. there be any letup of
the energetic campaign on the part
of ,the leading spellbinders of both
the older parties. John W. Kern, the
democratic : vice presidential candi
date, will, make a week of speech
making in the south Atlantic states.
Governor Hughes, in behalf of the
republican -national campaign, will de
' vote the entire week to the trans
Mississippi states, including Minne
sota. 'Iowa, Missouri, Nebraska, Kan
eas and Illinois.
Senator Beveridge of Indiana will
start the campaign ball rolling for the:
republicans on the Pacific coast,
speaking in Seattle. Tacoma, Port
land, San Francisco and Salt Lake
Eugeue V. Debs, socialist candidate
for president, plans to put in the
greater part of the week in New York
and New England. '
The discussion of Son-in-Law Nich
olas Longworth's presidential succes
sion speech in Rock Island last week
has been taken up by the eastern press.
There is no paper published whose edi
torials President Roosevelt reads more
studiously than those of the New York
Sun. Consequently, when he read what
follows from the columns of the New
York Sunday Sun, he immediately call
ed Nick in from his stumping tour ac
companying Mr. Sherman. Longworth
proceeded at once to his heme in Ohio,
and then issued the denial which went
out to the Associated Press from Cin
cinnati yesterday. The Sun gave the
advice in its closing paragraph which
the president speedily heeded. Here
are the Sun's editorial comments:
"Now comes Nicholas Longworth,
son-in-law of the great autocrat, and
in a speech delivered at Rock Island,
111., announces to his countrymen that
after Mr. Taft shall have eight years
to 'clinch my policies' 'clinch' is Mr.
Taft's term Mr. Roosevelt win return,
like Napoleon from Elba or like Charles
the Second after Cromwell, and the
full restoration of the Roosevelt re-
ime will take place.
"A' more unfortunate statement has
not yet been made in this canvass, and
if it attracts the general attention
which it deserves it is not unlikely to
make Mr. Longworth the Burchard of
the campaign. It is well known that
Mr. Roosevelt, in graciously permit
ting the American people to select his
successor providing always that it
was Mr. Taft or himself had said to
intimate friends that while he could
no longer serve his faithful people for
the next four years and would change
his work of multiplying bears into the
destruction of lions, yet at the end of
four years his faithful people could
reasonably expect his triumphant re
entry into the scene of his former
achievements. It is apparent from Mr.
Longworth's statement that this expec
tation is enjoyed not cfhly by the inner
circle of Mr. Roosevelt's friends, but
also by his immediate family, and it is
unreasonable to suppose that Mr.
Longworth would have nominated his
august father-in-law for reelection
eight years hence if he believed that
such suggestion was other than agree
able to Mr. Roosevelt.
"The American people are not dis
posed to turn their most exalted office
into a merry-go-round in which presi
dents shall mutually help each other
to rotate in office. Notwithstanding
Mr. Taffs exceptionally useful record
as a public servant and his captivating
qualities as a man, the American peo
ple have looked askance at the manner
n which his nomination was secured.
To them it was an unwelcome specta
cle that a president by the most open,
flagrant and shameless use of federal
patronage and executive power should
force the nomination of his successor,
and they certainly wiy not welcome a
suggestion which would seem to imply
that Mr. Taft at the end of four or
eight years shall use his influence as
president to have his predecessor suc
ceed him. For this and other reasons
it is all important that if the anti-
Roosevelt republicans are to be held
in line for Mr. Taft in order to avoid
the destructive evils of Bryan ism, Mr.
Taft should speedily convince this ele
ment of the republican party that he
will be something more than an ad
interim president. Some friend should
whisper in his ear that no presidential
candidate has yet crossed the threshold
of the White house as a 'nie too' pres
ident. The assurance is most neces
sary, for it is idle to gainsay that Mr.
Taft's canvass has so far been a dis
appointment. From his past record as
a judge and his splendid fidelity as a
public administrator the people have
been led to believe that he had a rug
ged personality that would quickly
show when occasion arose that he was
his own man and not the mere shadow
of another. In his speeches we have
with few exceptions failed to detect a
note of reasonable self-assertivenes
and avowed leadership. He has been
at his best when he has assailed Mr.
Bryan's vagaries. He has been at his
worst when he has informed his coun
trymen that his purpose is to 'clinch
Mr. Roosevelt's policies.' His abject
surrender of the details of the cam
paign to Mr. Roosevelt, his ready ac
ceptance of Mr. Roosevelt's every ut
terance, and his voluntary submergence
of his own personality in a campaign
in which he should be the most potent
leader, constitute one of the strangest
and most unpleasant chapters in our
political history. The best service that
Mr. Taft can do himself, his party and
his country is to assert speedily and jn
no unmeaning phrase that the republi
can party has chosen him as its leader
and that he will not merely follow.
"In the meantime and for the good
of the eause we respectfully siggest to
the great politician that he speedily
withdraw his over-zealous son-in-law
from the stump."
Unfortunately, in the meantime, Son-in-Law
Nick has been adding to his
mischief by expressing bis delight over
the attention given his Rock Island
suggestion, for at Evansville Sunday, Chicago Tribune:''
according to the Associated Press dis-1 Marjorie Marie Pritchard, 14 years
patches from that city as appearing old, a pupil in an Evanston boarding
yesterday, he put in that day "going school,, is responsible for the adver
over the papers to see what comments tisemeiit which, in full follows: r
had been made on his speech at Rock.
Island. In which he said that Mr. Taft
should be elected this fall,' reelected
four years hence"and then Mr. Roose
velt should be reelected again. .
"Mr. Longworth said he made. the
statement iu all seriousness and was
glad to see that the newspapers had
'played, up' the utterances so well. He
cut out all references to his speech and (
said he intended to send tnem to tne
"'Here's another one for Teddy.' he
exclaimed as he came across an arti
cle on his speech at the Rock Island
exposition that he had overlooked.
I'll have a raft of them to send him
and I'm sure he'll be delighted when he
sees them.' "
But the next day Nick heard from
the stern father-in-law, and forthwith
cut loose for Ohio, where he made the
There are two affidavits from report
ers in Rock Island who reported Long-
worth's remarks here, while the Asso
ciated Press representative on the
train with 'Sherman and Longworth
sent out from Sterling, when the train
reached that city, the same story that
hit te wires at Rock Inland. T here are
in the neighborhood of 5,000 people In
Rock Island who heard Nick say just
what he did say.
Following his very indiscreet re
marks at Rock Island, Nick has been
guilty of fibbing.
Karly Picture of Bryan.
4'ln 1890 the Nebraskans understood
Mr. Bryan when they elected him to
congress in a big republican district.
In 1892 the country saw in him a man
of rare eloquence. Today he is recog
nized as the foremost private citizen
in the world. Those who disagreed
with him in his views in 1896 and who
did not understand him, now realize
that he is a man of whom all America
is proud. History shows that Frank
Leslie's Weekly of Aug. 7, 1892, under
stood Mr. Bryan when it printed in
that issue the following article :
"Not all the men who were brought
to the front in politics by the popular
revolution of 1S90 have justified the ex
pectations of their supporters: some,
indeed, who were elevated to important
positions liave proved miserable fail
ures, and will very speedily be rele
gated to the obscurity out of which
they were lifted. But there are some
ajnong the new men who were project
ed into congress by that upheaval who
have demonstrated genuine capacity,
and are likely to impress themselves
upon the legislatio-i and policy of their
"Among those is Hon. William J. Bry
an of Nebraska, who 'was elected to
congress on the platform of tariff re
foim by a phenomenal majority in a
strong republican district, and has
since attained, by a single speech, a
commanding position in the house.
Mr. Bryan, who is 32 years of age, is
a man of fine appearance, of indomita
ble, purpose and solid intellectual qual
ities. which make him a dangerous an
tagonist. He ia layeby- profession.
and is assisted in the preparation 1 1
cases by his young wife, who studied
law and was admitted to the bar in
order that she might make herseli
more truly his helpmeet."
Chicago Journal: There is abundant
evidence throughout the testimony be
fore the special legislative committee
which investigated the state institu
tions of the utter indifference shown
by Governor Deneen regarding the ad
ministration of those institutions.
One of the witnesses examined bv
the committee was John Wagner, for
merly one of the trustees of the asy
lum for feeble minded at Lincoln. Mr.
agner, nnamg mat conditions were
not what they should be, suggested
some changes with a view to iraprov
ing matters. Of course he met with
opposition from the officials responsl
ble for the conditions, and these men
had the ear of the governor.
In regard to this the report of the
committee says: "It appears from the
testimony of Wagner, the president of
the board, that he was thwarted in his
efforts, snubbed by his subordinates
and insulted by his superior, the ex
ecutive, of whom he had a. right to ex
pect, and did expect, aid in carrying
on the institution in accordance with
the spirit Of 4he law, the teachings of
business experience, and the dictates
of conscience and humanity.".
Apprised of the mismanagement and
the abuses at the asylum for feeble
minded children, Governor Deneen in
suited the official whose duty it was to
give him the information. Instead of
promptly instituting an investigation
the governor manifested no interest in
the matter. He was satisfied with the
representations of his political adher
ents at the asylum and made no ef
fort to ascertain whether or not these
were truthful. Not until the legisla
live committee began its investigation
were the bad conditions at the asylum
; This is- but one example of the per
sistent mmnerence snown Dy me gov
ernor respecting the administration of
state institutions. How mattered it to
him how these non-voting public
charges were treated, so long as his
political henchmen were well cared
for and the machine secure and work
-Appeals to Burglar's Heart.
' An 'offer of "?150 cash fora tiny
part of a burglar's heart," is made in
a nersonal "ad" that annears in the
"PERSONAL $150 cash and the
undying gratitude of .a little orphan'
'girl for a tiny part of a burglar's
The Argus Daily Short Story
KITTY, SAM AND THE PEACEMAKER - BY COLIN S. COLLINS
Copyrighted, 1908, by Associated Literary Press.'
When it has been "Sam" and "Kitty"
from babyhood it is rather difficult to
pass suddenly to the "Mr. Hastings"
and "Miss Norwood" stage. Botb Sam
and Kitty felt the strain, though each
took mental obligation to do nothing
that in any way might be construed
into an overture of friendship.
It had nil started innocently enough.
Kitty on her way to the postoffice en
countered Jim Saunders.. She regarded
Saunders as a persistent pest." but she
could not very well refuse his sugges
tion that they stop iu nt the drug store
and have a glass of soda.
Then it happened that they turned
Into Belding street 4n animated con
versation, and Sam could not know
they had met just around the corner.
Of all the summer visitors to Au-
burnville Sam disliked Saunders the
most, and Kitty knew it It looked. to
him as though she had deliberately ac
cepted Saunders' attentions to punish
him for a trivial quarrel of the night
Kitty was just finishing the last tiny
lump of Ice cream from the bottom of
the tall glass when Sam entered the
store with Belle Paulding. Kitty's
He had bowed stiffly in salutation.
and Kitty had responded with a "Good
morning, Mr. Hastings." emphasizing
the name as sweetly and as coldly as
the frozen delicacy, she had just con
sumed. That had been the start of the trou
ble, but the end had been slow in com
ing. That afternoon Kitty went mo
toring with Saunders, though she hated ,
motor cars, and Belle weut buggy i
riding with Sam to punish saunuers
for his iningined disloyalty.
Saunders and Miss Paulding had
quickly patched their quarrel up, but
Kitty was unyielding, and there was a
squareness to Sam's chin that did not
argue in favor of pliability of person
With ceremonious politeness each
strove to show the other how little it
mattered, but Kitty cried herself to
sleep night after night, and Sam swore
softly, but fervently, nt what he was
pleased to term the foolishness of wo
mankind. So matters stood when the excursion
ofx the Aubumville cornet band was
announced. The boys needed new uni
forms, r.nd Dick I'otts had promised
to learn the euphonium if they would
buy him one.
AH public spirited citizens purchased
tickets. Sn;n bought two through
force of habit and then viciously tore
them up. whereby the band profited
another 50 cents, for. Sam was de
termined to go on that excursion if
only to show that he coukl go without
He had never gone-on an excursion
alone save once, when Kitty was
spending a week with her aunt over in
Cadyville, aud he had had a miserable
lime. Now he did not look for enjoy
ment, but Kitty needn't think he could
not go alone if he wanted to.
Much the same sentiment animated
Kitty, though she arranged to go with
a married sister, and It so happened
that they passed over the gangplank
together, with the formal greeting that
was now customary. .
The picnic was held on Paddle is
land, out in the lake, a favorite picnic
ground. A narrow strip of land con
nected two rough oval extremities that
by an Abuse of the imagination might
lie said to resemble a paddle. Bobby
Seaton, who was In the primary class,
aptly, if Improperly, described it as "a
peninsula with an Island at each end."
As soon a3 lunch was disposed of
the elders settled themselves near the
baskets, While the young folk wander
ed off to either end of the island, fol
lowed by a fusillade of injunctions to
hurry back the moment the first whis
Sam nud Kitty followed suit, but
Sain made certain that Kitty was
Itended for the southern blade of the
paddle before he started north. It was
Ireary work sitting all alone on the
point, and presently the fresh airland
the soft bed of pine needles combined
to bring sleep to the worried brain. .
It seemed to Sam that he had en
loyecV ouly a brief nap, but by the
time he had hunted up the cabin some
of the boys had built for use in the
duck season and had borrowed the
bathing trunks he found there he was
in the cool water a few minutes when
the warning whistle blew.
heart. This is the reward I will pay
tor the return of small medallion
i)hoto of my mother, jewelry, and trin
kets taken from North State street
millinery store, Sept. 4. They arc
only mementos of deceased mother.
Mr. Burglar, if you have any respect
for" your own mother, please return
ihem ,and God will bless you."
The photo and other articles men
tioned were formerly the property of
Mrs, Margaret Pritchard. now dead.
They were taken from the millinerv
store of her sister, Mrs. Marie Nel
son, in Chicago, along with many
other articles of value. Mrs. Nelson
is the executrix of her sister's estate,
which she holds in trust for little
Miss Marjorie Pritchard, the sole
The 'articles taken include, besid?
the photo, a gold watch and chain, a
diamond ring and a plain gold wed
ding ring. Just before she died Mrs.
Pritchard expressed a wish that her
wear the gold ring - at her
For that reason, it and the
the mother are especially
the little girl. Mrs. Nelson.
as the guardian of the propoHy, also
feels keenly the loss. - -
Madly he dashed from the water Into
the hut to find that in that brief In
terval some one had "chawed" his
clothes. His underwear was as full
of knots as a snake that had been
lunching off a full set of pool balls,
his trousers were tied into a true lov
er's knot that suggested anything but
sentiment, and the laces of his shoes
offered a good ten minutes of unpick
ing. Sam was Still surveying the dam
age when the second whistle sounded.
"Blow, durn ye!" be cried savagely
as he attacked the knots. "If you
can't wait for a fellow I'll swim for it.
I'm not goin' to make my dee-bu in
He oast a glance of scorn at the In
finitesimal swimming trunks and at
tacked the knots with a haste that
verified the old adage as to speed.
The boat was a good half mile from
shore as he burst through the bushes'
that grew about the rude landing cod
shook his fist at the departing steamer.
' He was still expressing his opinion
of things when there was a rustle la
the bushes, and Sam turned to fac
Kitty, who walked with a limp and
carried a stick in her hand.
"Has the boat gone?" she cried In
despair. ."I started up so quickly that
I wrenched my ankle. I called for
help, but no one seemed to hear."
"I was at the other end of the Is
land," explained Sam, who seemed to
think that the reproach was directed
against him. "I took a nap and didn't
realize how Jong I slept. I took a
swim after that, and some kids
'chawed' my clothes. I just got here
myself. They'll miss us at the dock
and send back for us. Can I fix your
"I'm afraid I shall have to ask your
assistance, Mr. Hastings," said Kitty,
suddenly mindful of the fact that she
was sneaking to Sam.
He helped her to a rock and care
fully cut away the shoe. Then with
the sleeves of his shirt he improvised
a bandage that brought relief and
noted with satisfaction that the sprain
seemed to be slight, since there was
"That will have to do until we can
get to town," he said as he rose to his
feet "Does it feel any easier. Miss
"Very much, thank you, Mr. Has
tings." Sam gritted his teeth and mentally
assured himself that when a fellow
takes the trouble to bind up a girl's
ankle and sacrifices his very newest
and handsomest shirt for a bandage
the least she might do would be to call
him "Sam," as of old. He moved stiff
ly away and took a seat on a bowlder
behind her. If she was lonesome she
could call him.
' Bnt Kitty though she was dreadful
ly lonesome and a little bit afraid, was
Digest what you eat. Then you can
Eat what you like.
You once could eat anything you
wanted, and your stomach would
But now there's some things
which your stomach won't digest
Your stomach absolutely refuses to
accommodate you when you eat
certain food so you have been
forced by your stomach to eat food
which you detested, and pass up
those delicacies that you would
have really enjoyed.
There is a way now to eat any
thing you like, if you will let Ko
dol digest it.
Kodol will do this, too. It won't
talk back or command, but will go
right ahead with its work and di
gest all the food you eat. Kodol
will let you eat anything you like
and all you want, and you won't
suffer with that dull feeling, that
fullness, and wish you hadn't eaten
You will not have that heart-burn,
which is so annoying -a limes, if
you will let Kodol digest your food
You don't have to use Kodol long
only for a little while just long
enough for your stomach to rest
a little. It gets tired sometimes,
too just the same as anybody or
Fur and Glove
Store Has all the
"New Creations in
Call and exam
ine our ladies' Fur
Hats the latest.
A full stock of
ladies' and gents
street and driving
1619 Second Avenue.
'iooVrotiu to a!I.' Even (he faint scent
of tobacco that now and then drifted
past her on some vagrant breeze was
comforting, since It was an Indication
of Sam's presence, but she would not
Sam gloomily regarded her eloquent
shoulders and longed to take her in bis
anus and comfort her. but be assured
himself that it was her place to make
the overture. It looked as though the
deadlock would continue unbroken
when the serpent entered this lone
It was only a tiny gar: jrrna ke scarce
ly twelve inches Ion:;, aud it was
hurrying away from the human in
truders as rapidly as possible when
Sam spied it With a long switch he
turned Its course and headed it past
the rock where Kitty was sitting.
The rustling in the grass caught her
attention, and, looking down, she spied
the wriggling length of green.
With a shrill scream of "Sam!" she
struggled to her feet and the next in
stant was sobbing in her terror, with
her arms abont his neck.
With cruel ingratitude Sam dispatch
ed his benefactor and lifted the girl In
"We'll go sit on the dock. Kitty." he
6ucirested. "There are no. snakes there.
Pretty soon, if help doesn't" come, I'll
swim over to shore and get a small
"Some one will come, Sam." she de
clared. "Aryrhow, It's nice here for
"You bet it Is. Kitty." assented Sam
as the girl crept close to the protecting
circle of bis arm.
Then in a torrent of words they bad
their explanation. It cleared the air
wonderfully, and presently Kitty pat
ted the hand that clasped her waist
"You say you didn't like to take
Belle riding," she whispered, "just as
though you had all the trouble. I bet
you wouldn't like It any better to let
Mr. Saunders pretend to make love to
"No, I wouldn't," assented Sam hon
estly as he bent his head to claim an
other kips. "Kitty, I'm sorry I killed
"But it was a snake," explained Klb
ty, as though that were sufficient rea
son, even though it was very nice for
a sua lie.
Afflicted with Sore Eyes for 33 Year3,
I have been afflicted with sore eyes
for 33 years. Thirteen years ago I be
came totally bliml and was blind for
six years. My eyes were badly in
flamed. One of my neighbors insisted
upon my trying Chamberlain's .Salvc
and gave me half a box of it. To my
surprise it heated my eyes and my
sight came back to me. P. C. Earls,
Cynthiana, Ky. Chamberlain's Salve
ia for sale by all druggists.
The Man with DantsrurT
Can now be cured. He should buy a
bottle of Zemo today. Zcmo destroys
the germ that causes the disease. Its
use stops itching instantly, prevents
falling hair and leaves the scalp in a
clean healthy condition. For sale at
Harper House pharmacy.
part of your body that works.
Kodol will do exactly what your
stomach does, when your stomach
is well and strong, and more, when
it is tired or out of order.
Kodol is composed of exactly
the same juices a3 found in a
healthy stomach, and therefore
will do the same work as the stom
ach, when it is well and strong
the only difference is, Kodol never
gets tired and Kodol is the only
digestant to-day, that will digest
all food and do it as completely, as
a strong, healthy stomach.
Get a bottle now and have it
ready to help your stomach at
times when you need an assistant
Kcdol is at the nearest drug store.
Go to yonr druggist today and net a dol
lar bottle. Then after you h-re used tbe
entire contents of the bottle if you can
honestly say, that it has not done you any
good, return the bottle to the drnggist and
he will refund your money without ques
tion or delay. We will then pay the drag-
gist for the bottle. Don't hesitate, all
omggists know that onr guarantee is good.
This offer applies to the large bottle only
aud to but one in a family. The large bot
tle contains 2!4 times as much as the fifty
Kodol is prepared at the labora
tories of E. C. De Witt & Co., Chicago.
Humor mX Philosophy
By DUNCAN M. SMITH
It is bard for some people to endure
success, but it is never their own suc
cess. Don't quarrel with your critic; he
can think of more mean things to say
than ypu can.
If you have anything to do, hire a
man to do it and take things easy
while you wait for your profit
The honeymoon comes to an end
about the same time that the man dis
covers that he is sure enough mar
Mistakes are easy to make, and they
are educative if you take them in the
right spirit and don't find them foo
You can't fail nnless you take a
chance, and you can succeed on no
Don't depend upon your best friend
and never mind your worst enemy.
Chances are even with all the rest.
The man who never knows when he
Is turned down does not waste any en
ergy In bobbing up and so is eventual
Is ffoing to vote.
Ix)ok around. ;
About his head.
The reason why,
Affect his mind
Nor his convictions shake.
Tt Is hard
To keep awake.
Takes the cake.
"Just a bad dis
position?" "Why don't you
"Ton are looking younger, Miss Fan
ny, every day."
"I am feeling that way too."
"What is the secret?"
"Just in training for the census tak
had a close
"Ls that so? How did It happen?"
"Quito out of the ordinary."
"Yes; the razor was sharp."
Trouble In the $ide Show.
Ossified Man You're In partnership
with that confidence man! You are a
barefaced fraud! ;
Bearded Lady He - pulled your lejr
for a dollar, did he? You're not half as
hard as you look. . -
"I am going to marry an heiress."
"I congratulate you. ' Who Is she?"
"I don't know." ; -
"I congratulate her" : - '
Supplied" What Was Missing.
Bis language wes not polished.
His ways were not refined,
, But he was worth a millloa. i
So no one seemed to mind, -