Newspaper Page Text
THE ARGUS, SATURDAY, OCTOBER SO, 1900.
Published Dally and Weekly at,16S
Second avenue. Hock Island. HI. En
tered at the postoffloe aa second-class
BY THE J. W. POTTER CO.
f. TERMS. Dally, 10 cents per week.
fWeolcly, 91 per year in advance.
'.' All communications of argumentative
character, political or religious, must
J-.ave real nanvs attached for publica
tion. Jo such articles will be printed
lover fictitious signatures,
j- Correspondence solicited from every
township in Rock Island county.
Saturday, October 30, 1909.
i One -way to eliminate the dive Is to
' stop it beforo It gets started.
La Follette is in bad with the sys
tem, but keeps in with the people.
' . The middle west is safe just now.
lA.ll the politicians are on the Missls
fsippi. It will not cost much to feed the
new Chinese army. It can live on
( Uncle Joe Cannon says President
Taft is right and wrong. Can't you
hear the president say Uncle Joe is
Congressmen who accompany tha
president on the deep waterway trip
took nino poker tables. Now we know
what tho national game is.
"" Joe Cannon's principal mission on
tho trip down the Mississippi seems to
be to toss cold water on the 14-foot
channel through the valleys.
; Ballots In New York are four feet
long. Tho St. Louis Globe-Democrat
6uggests that thi3 is why women want
them to put on the pantry shelves.
"China for the Chinese" will, it is
isaid, be the watchword of the future in
'the land of Confucius. Well, it 13 net
'for Americans to make any complaint
concerning the matter.
The Goulds and the Vanderbilts are
no longer to be permitted to have ex
clusive use of the society corner in
,the New York divorce court. Tho As
tor3 have decided to be represented
- California wine dealers are engaged
In a war of prices, as a result of which
;port, which two months ago sold at
i37& cents a gallon, today is offered at
rora 15 to 16 cents. Claret, which for
merly brought 25 cents a gallon, now
brings 15 cents. It is to be remember
ed, however, that Califoriiians are good
advertisers, 'and it may be these quo
tations are simply bait to lure the blb
Vlously Inclined to that state.
An Illinois Name.
', Our enterprising and vigorous rival
Illinois city of East St. Lcuis wants
to change its name. It has tired cf
ibathing in the reflected splendor of
Missouri's metropolis and desires a
namo characteristic of individuality
and independence. For a time when
the present city was a struggling vil
lage it gathered strength and prestige
from a name which sounded liko a
suburban appendage of the metropolis
of the middle west. Now, however,
East St. Louis want3 to discharge it3
foster-nurse as it baa outgrown its
swaddling clothes and has become a
' East St. Louis is to be commended
for its resolution to sign a declaration
of Independence by changing its name.
:As its present name was useful in Its
childhood, so will a name indicative of
Illinois assertivenoss help it in its
further development. Willie is a pret
'ty name for a child, but it evolves
Into Eill when the lad is old enough to
run away to the swimming hole. East
St. Louis is a great Illinois city. It
doesn't need Missouri's grandeur to
lend it fame or prosperity.
Two names have boen suggested.
"Cahokia" and "St. Clair," the former
the name of the historic Illinois Ket
tlement of that name, and the -other
the name of the county in which East
St. Louis is located. Either would bo
appropriate and beautiful.
The Tariff Planks.
William Jennings Bryan says that
;the democratic party is facing the
same internal problem that the re
publican party must solve, and that is
(the problem of making the people re
spect the platforms on which they are
chosen. He does not defend those
democrats who repeatedly voted fo?
upward revision any more than he
would defend those republicans who
ignored the promise cf his platform
more binding by explicit mandates on
representatives of the democratic
party- To make revisions more diffi
cult and to make promises more Im
pressive he would have the democratic
party put Into its platform certnln spe
cific reductions in regard to the tariff,
together with such general limitations
of duties as would eliminate from the
tariff system the worst instances of
extortion. This, says the Peoria Star,
is good sense. Heretofore both parties
have contented themselves with cer
tain vague promises on this Bubject.
When in powor they found themselves
confronted by a powerful ring, consl3t-
. Ing of members of congress, each one
clamoring for special privileges for his
The : lumber men demanded an
advance, the wool men followed
', suit, the steel men, tho sugar men, tho
cotton men -aH-fcaaded together, and
the result was that these special In
terests swept democrats and repulU
cans alike into their net, and no re
form waB possible. What we want 13
a general and definite act in thlspar-ticular.
To Simplify Polities.
The fact that the ballots at our gen
eral local elections are so large as to
be unwieldy has caused a demand from
those who believe in pure politics for
a short ballot Organizations in New
York are at work in that direction and
are hopeful of success so far as that
state 13 concerned. The election ballots
In Illinois, while perhaps not as large
as those of New York, are entirely too
long for intelligent use by the voter.
It has become somewhat of a farce for
people to attend the polls end go
..through the motions of selecting 20 or
DO officiate from ballots containing a
hundred or more names of persons
about whose character and Qualifica
tions they scarcely know anything. Of
course the people will not select each
cf the 20 or 50 they will only elect
them. No voter on earth ever had or
could have in mind at one time eo
many favorites. So the politicians do
the real electing beforehand by placing
a trade-mark (such as "democrat" cr
republican") on certain men, and the
people, If they like- some one or more
prominent candidate who bears it, will
vote for every one else with the same
label. That is. why party bosses can
elect rascals, while the well-meaning
public Is making up its mind about
the head of the ticket.
Local politics should be simplified,
so that every candidate. responsible to
all the people of the community shall
come within tho scope of effective pub
lic discussion. Passing the candidates
through the limelight without a party
label will make possible real selection
and real government by the people.
This greatly needed result will be ac
complished by the adoption of the com
mission form of government. Public
discussion would be sufficient under
the commission system to give the
requisite information as to the char
acter and qualifications of candidates
to every voter, making it quite un
necessary for him to become a fre
quenter of political headquarters and
caucusoa to bo instructed by party
bosses how and for whom to vote.
A non-partisan ballot for the elec
tion of five commissioners would
greatly simplify and improve local
A Marvelous Achievement.
An achievement closely bordering
the marvelous in the development of
electrical science and one whose im
portance In around-the-world commun
ication can hardly be measured at the
moment was that of the steamship
Minnesota of the Great Northern line
in keeping in touch throughout Its
latest voyage across the Paclnc with
the wireless telegraph stations both at
Seattle and the Japanese ports. When
it was 3.C2S miles from Seattle on its
way to Yokohaha it exchanged mes
sages with tho station at the former
port, reportod conditions and news
aboard ship and received the latest
world news of the day for tho benefit
of its passengers and crew; it was a
record breaking fert, for the distance
spanned by the messages is far great
er than that from the fartherest east
ern station on the Nova Scotia coast
to the fartherest western station on
tho coast cf Ireland and messages
transmitted between those had there
tofore held the record for the long
distance wireless telegraph. It 13 of
great significance, too, that the Min
nesota's messages were sent from the
ordinary ship's aerial, whose appar
atus has an electric power of only
fire kilowatts, while the Nova Scotia
Ireland me3soge3 are transmitted from
towers of great altitude whose appar
atus has a 50 kilowatt power. There
was no time during the entire voyage
when the ship could not have "talked"
with either Seattle or Yokohama, or
with both, and it might have "picked
up" other vessels in the trans-Pacific
"lane" had It been necessary or of any
The possibilities in cross-seas and
cross-continents communication thus
opened up fairly stagger the imagina
tion. In maritime warfare tho advan
tage is practically incalculable.
If at the time the Spanish fleet in
189S was "bottled up" In Santiago har
bor the balloon and aeroplane and
wireless telegraphy had reached their
present stage of development, Admiral
Sampson could have captured Cer
vera's ships without the loss of a spar
or shedding a drop of blood or the
spending of a pound of powder and
history would have registered the
same results that it did, though in a
different and far more satisfactory
way to conqueror and conquered.
Proving If is Love.
They were "sitting out" the dance
when Miss -Luvliwun glided silently
by, waltzing most gracefully.
' "Oh, Alg;." said the girl, "don't you
think Miss Luvllwtm quite the nicest
girl in the room?"
"Why, yes. May, darling, if you think
"And her eyes aren't they Just de
"Perfectly, pet!" Algy agreed.
"And hasn't she the prettiest month,
and the sweetest face imaginable?"
"Simply charming!" quoth Algy.
"And don't you think she's awfully
clever too? Knows French, and bo-ho
Poor Algy'a face went ghastly white.
"Why, darling." be exclaimed, "wbat
ever's the matter? Are you ill? Shall
"Oh-o." sobbed May. "1 thonght you
loved me yon loved me best, Algy!"
"So I do. darling!"
"W-w-well. how can you ta-talk bo
about that ugly, vulgar Luvliwun
"livery rose has Its thorn, and unfor
tunately the thorn outlives the rose,"
HAVE COUNTY Fill
Watertcwn Methodist Ladies
Carry Out Ambitious Pro
ject With Success.
MANY PRIZES ARE AWARDED
Competition Under Various Heads Is
Keen Rev. Y. R. Wiley
One of Judges.
Watertown, Oct. SO. The country
fair given by the M. E. ladles Wednes
day afternoon and evening was a suc
cessful affair and well attended. The
exhibits were nicely arranged in
classes and premiums awarded by the
judges, who were Rev. Mr. and Mrs.
Stevens of Milan, Dr. Wiley of Rock
Island, Mrs. Hartzoll, Mrs. D. E. Sco'.t
and J. J. Marjileth cf Watertown.
Tho premiums were awarded as fol
lows: For the largest and best selection
of corn It. B. Smedley of Waverly,
Squash and gourd3 Qlea Delmar
and Merle Smedley of Waverly.
Irish potatoes Mr. Einfeldt.
Sweet potatoes James Corbla,
first; Mts. E. K. Ausbrook, Eecond.
Apoles Mr3. Morris Ley.
Carrots Mrs. Lucas, first; Mrs. Guy
Cabbage Charles Lee.
Tomatoes Mrs. L. H. Snow.
Onions Mrs. L. II. Snow.
Celery Mrs. L. H. Snow.
Canned peaches and peach syrup
Mrs. Mary Palmer.
Canned strawberries and gooseber
ries Mrs. William Lee.
Canned blackberries Mrs. W. D.
Chow chow Mrs. Guy Nicholson.
Catsup Mrs. E. Lucas.
Canned cherries Mrs. Hartzell, first;
Mrs. William Driggs, second.
Chili sauce Mrs. M. Loy, firs;
Mrs. E. K. Ausbrook, second.
Tomato reli3h Mrs. Guy Nicholson.
Picalilli Mrs. II. E. Biggs.
Pickles Mrs. George Dirreen, first;
Mrs. F. McKennick, second.
Strawberry preserves Mrs. E. Lu
cas, first; Mrs. W. G. Ausbrook, sec
ond. Onion pickles and mixed pickles
Mts. E. Lucas.
Grape Jell Anna Swanson.
Green grape jell Mr3. P. P. Shep
pard. Blackberry and gooseberry jell
Mrs. E, K. Ausbrook.
Red plum jelly Mrs. Loy.
Blue plum Jolly Mrs. W. Ausbrook.
Crabapple jelly Mrs .Ws Ausbrook.
Apple jolly Mrs. Hock, first; Mrs.
Cakes Chocolate, Miss Viola Lee;
chocolate marble, Mis3 Grace Lucas;
fruit, Mrs. E. Lucas; white, Mrs. II.
Hilberg; spice marble, Mrs. D. E.
Scott; devil food, Mrs. F. McKennick;
beefsteak cake, Mrs. E. K. Ausbrook;
yellow cake, Mrs. Henry McNeal; Bos
ton brown bread, Mrs. Lucas; caramel
cake, Mrs. W. G. Ausbrook; Dolly Var
den cake, Mrs. Alphretta Allsbrow;
Cookies Mrs. W. B. Keene.
Sweet rolls Mrs. W. Willis, first;
Mrs. Mumma, second.
Plain rolls Mrs. W. G. Ausbrook,
first; Mrs. Jesse Nicholson, second.
Pies Pumpkin, Mrs. P. Sheppard,
first; Mrs. W. Young, second. Cherry,
Mrs. Sutherland. Raspberry, Mr3.
Keene. Apple, Mrs. Trow. Mince,
Mrs. Trow. Apple, Miss Rah.
White bread Mrs. F. E. Chideste",
first; Mrs. L. II. Snow, second.
Doughnuts Mrs. Jesse Nicholson,
first; Mrs. Gearge Dirreen, second.
Baked beans Mrs. E. Lucas.
Many Fancy Article
The array cf fancy articles was ex
tensive and prizes were numerous.
The beautiful oil painting donated by
Miss Johnson and Miss McClure of the
hospital carried off first prize.
The oil painting given by the former
pastor's wife, Mrs. McLeash, was won
in a contest by Mrs. William Leo of
Watertown. The contest was between
Mrs. Lee, Mrs. Frank McKennick and
Mrs. Stevens of Milan. Mrs. Lee re
ceived the largest vote, 78 ; Mrs. Stev
ens, 71, and Mrs. McKennick, SC.
In flowers the first prize went to
Mrs. E. Lucas for the finest display,
and second to Mrs. Guy Nicholson.
Tha entertainment given under tho
direction of Mrs. Willis and Mrs. Mc
Kennick was highly appreciated.
Light refreshments were served and
the ladles received for their labor
Time tells which is best and most
reliable. For 70 years Perry Davis"
Painkiller haa been driving away
pain and bringing health as a rem
edy for sprains, burns, bruises, rheu
matism, neuralgia. It cures coldB,
cramps, bowel complaint. But be
sure to take this unequalled remedy
promptly. Large bottles 85 cents or
larger 50 cents.
Your cough annoys you. Keep on
backing and tearing the delicate mem
branes of your throat if you want to
be annoyed. But if you want relief,
want to be cured, take Chamberlain's
Cough Remedy. Sold by all druggists.
for any substance in
jurious to health found in looa
sesuuiag nom me uo oi
trg JrWf V':? -" -r ":'-f
"The New Governor of Porto Eic
The Argus Daily Short Story
An Organized Epidemic By Martha McCulloch-Williams.
Copyrighted 1909, toy Associated Literary Press.
Minerva's name was one of fate's
subtlest ironies, tbe girl was so far eo
very far from wise. Indeed, she knew
no more than to be sweet and biddable
to crabbed task mistresses. They were
the Grim ley sisters who bad taken
her, as they said daily, out of charity
and to whom she perved for hands,
feet and eyes. She was rated sharply
if she talked back, which was seldom,
since she had ralber a talent for si
lence than for speech.
The sisters were not consciously un
kind. It was just that they had fallen
Into the way of fretting at everything.
Life had defrauded them of tbe natu
ral outlets husbands and children.
Therefore they made the most of such
small worries as -remained to maiden
Minerva came to them when she was
ten. For tbe nest eight years ber op
petite and her trick of breaking things,
especially those she was haudling with
utmost care, bad served as vital griev
ances. But since she was full grown
she ate much less and hardly ever let
fall anything, no matter bow frngile
or precious; beuce the Miss Grimleys
bad bad to iuvent a new sin for her.
Tbey bad chosen to find it in ber pos
sible future husband. According to
their notion, she was always inteDt
upon matrimony and scheming to en
snare whatever masculine person
chance threw in ber way.
The young circuit rider, for example;
Jim Mace, the constable, who rode by
the big gate every other day; the two
Leonards, who farmed the lower place;
even the young fellow clerking over
at the crossroads hadn't he actually
tried to get board at the Grlmley man
sion? Dr. Bell, the one person who
dared speak up to the sisters, rated
tbem soundly for snch suspicions. No
wonder, he said, poor Minerva, as shy
and modest as any white rose, was
awkward, almost rude, indeed, to all
the youDg fellows she encountered and
therefore likely to die an old maid.
Miss Jane and Miss Abby nodded
approval there. Minerva was to have
everything when they were gone. It
would be quite enough to keep her like
a lady. Husbands wcrs but worries
most of the time. As for children,
they shook their heads and slgbed.
Clearly, in their judgment, a woman
wns lucky to escape such thiugs. Look
at Minerva herself! Where would she
be now If the Grimleys had not chosen
that better part?
Dr. Bell, who had a tongue as rough
and a heart as warm as his greatcoat,
growled at them. After awhile, being
a strategist, he did something else
something which at first blush made
him laugh a great shouting laugh.
When his wife asked the meaning of
It he said enigmatically:
"Oh, I'm going to cure some chronic
cases by provoking an epidemic."
And that . was all she could get out
of him, no matter how hard she tried.
She could not try very hard, since,
like tbe rest of the neighborhood, she
was giving all her mind to the coming
session of tbe synod.
It was to be a great occasion. Min
isters, their wives, sons and daughters
were, coming by the score. Their num
ber would Dot be too great, however,
for the countryside's hospitality.
With no provocation whatever from
the church Dr. Bell fixed it so the
Grimleys would have rather more than
a double share of tbe clerical influx
namely. Deacon Brown and bis wife,
Dr. Hens haw, a, pulpit Samson, Just
beginning to look about him over the
edges of weeds not yet rusty; Profess
or Balderson, famed tor persuading
money into college channels, and young
Lee. not yet come to full ordination.
How the doctor managed oil this Is not
known, lie was almost unscrupulous
wbeo it came to carrying out a plan.
At least two other households were
full of bttter jealousy over the parcel
ing out of guests, bat the guests did
not suspect it least of all those fated
to sit at meat with the Grimleys.
Miss Jane was a famous cook. Miss
Abby was past mistress at preserving.
Minerva made cake thnt was simply
heavenly, and black Susan was a mira
cle of efficient strength izi the kitchen.
So tbe visitors rejoiced that their lines
hfld fallena,a tbe had,, Indeed, nil
corYRiewr cumeoiwBT. wash.
o, Succeeding Regis H. Post.
through synod week they could not say
enough in praise and gratitude to their
hostesses. As a consequence Miss
Jane and Miss Abby forgot either to
scold or to suspect Carried away by
the tide of hospitable Impulse, they
showed for what they were excellent
gentlewomen of the first rank.
As for Minerva, she fairly blossomed.
Even the most callous onlooker saw in
her a new creature. She was so ra
diant, indeed, that before three day
were out Professor Balderson, a sea
soned bachelor, made up his mind to
marry ber if be could. He changed
his mind after good Sister Brown had
let fall words of wisdom.
"It's providential," she said, nodding
toward Minerva and young Lee. "If
ever anybody was cut cut for a pas
tor's wife it's that sweet glrL and I'm
mlshty glad to believe both of them
hare found it out."
Slight observation brought the pro
fessor blmaelf to the same belief. For
fcr.If an hour ho was right down crest
fallen; then he flung up his bend and
act!nl'y whistled. Possibly the s'jrht
of Miss Jone had nothing to do with
it. But certainly that afternoon and
all through the days following he kept
pretty close to her. Miss Jaue was in a
state of mind. It was plain ns a pike
staff that that roan Henshnw was
making up to Sister Abby Abby. who
had never before tolerated anybody's
"He must hare bewitched her. That's
all tbe way I can account for It," she
confided, almost weeping, to tbe pro
fessor upon Saturday afternoon.
"Something ought to be done about it.
It's ridiculous at ber time of life. 1
don't understand it a bit."
"Xo. but It mny be the cooking. Dr.
Henshaw's a good man, but not wholly
above earth," the professor comforted
wisely. "Besides. I can quite under
stand. A man's loneliness is some
thing dreadful. He has Just abcut bad
time to find out how much he misses
his wife. In that be la wor3e off than
I, who have . been lonely bo many
"Well, It was Just because yon chose
to be," Miss Jane snapped, then could
have bitten her tongue.
The professor positively beamed over
ber intimation. "I wonder If you can
be in the right." he murmured. "Hon
estly, now. dear M!s3 Jane, if If I
found myself greatly attracted by a
most superior woman of suitable age
do yon think I should have any
"You'll have to find out for yonrgelf.
'The Well Balanced Man
but furnish you a contract of ail we agree to do.
A square deal and the lowest rate in town is our claim,
and wo would liko to prove it to yen. The fect you own
furniture, ilano, horses, wjigons or surh property is suf
ficient guarantee for you to open a credit account with
us. Amounts from $10 upwards. Call, write cr phone us.
No loan "-no charge.
fidelity Loan Co.
lhoTi- Wejt 514.
Kew Phore OOll.
une woman never Knows a ruin I an
other." Mh?s Jane retorted, but with a
blush that would have done credit to
Tbe professor took her baDd. "But
suppose it Is not another?" be asked.
"Suppose I dare raise my eyes to
If Miss Jane hnd felt what was com
ing the si:dden certainty of It over
whelmed her. For tbe first and last
time she faiuted outright, and most
gracefully notwithstanding ber l.V
pounds, upon the professor's shoulder.
Minerva came running to them, ex
claiming anxiously: "Fetch Dr. Bell!
And keep Aunt Abby away!"
Afternoon service was Just about to
beyin. In the stir and confusion of get
ting tbe crowd Inside the church it
was easy to mask Miss Jane's faint a:
"Oh, I I turned my ankle," she
herself sn!d, sniCin.cr the salts Sister
Brown held under hernostriis.
"Then we must take you straight
home," the professor said as one in
authority, looking into her eyes while
he nodded toward Minerva and ber
Miss Jane began to say faintly,
"Abby where is she?" But Sister
Brown checked her with a significant
"Don't you worry about Miss Abby,"
the said. "Just let tbem pat you in
the barouche and go along. Dr. ITen
sbaw 'II see to it your sister gets home
Then Dr. Bell exploded. When he
could speak for laughing he said,
wringing Miss Jane's hand heartily
and beaming on tbe professor:
"It has worked splendidly. Get home,
all of you. Ill tell Abby everything
and make her likewise tell me."
"What has worked?" M!?s Jane de
manded, suddenly forgetting ber turn
ed ankle and stamping her foot. The
doctor looked quizzically from her to
Minerva, then on to the professor and
young Lee. whence bis eyes wandered
to Miss Abby and her prize, just now
coming up to tbem.
"My orgnclzed epidemic," he said,
with another great laugh, "of matri
mony, to be sure. It burt my feelings
to see three fine wives going to waste."
For once Miss Jane had no word
ready. The professor was likewise si
lent. But young Lee spoke up man
fully: "You were exactly right, doctor, and
no man could have done a better deed."
"So I can say "Bless you, my chil
dren! all round?" tbe doctor queried.
Young Lee's eyes twinkled. "Sure
thing," he said. "Yon see. Dr. rien
phaw begged me to fir things with
Minerva so Miss Abby would have no
excuse to make hlui wait."
"She didn't think of me, I suppose,"
Miss Jaue said, sighing. The others
smiled. Sister Brown spoke for all of
them. "No; she didn't forget yon," she
said. "But all of us have seen how. it
"on!d be these last three days."
BACK GIVES OUT.
Plenty of Rock Island Readers Have
You tax the kidneys overwork
They can't keep up the continual
The back gives out it aches and
Urinary troubles set In.
Don't wait longer take Doan's
Rock Island people tell you how
P. C. Beaelln, 13 24 Fifth avenue,
Rock Island, 111., says: "I am ob
liged to do heavy lifting at times and
no doubt my kidneys rrere weakened
in this way. The chief smpton of
my trouble was backache, coupled
with pains in my su'.es and across
ray kidneys. The lriJr,cy secretions
were unnatural and the passages
were very irregular. Seeing Doan's
Kidney P1113 advertised, I obtained
a box at the Horper House pharmacy
and after I had used the contents, 1
was entirely free from my trouble.
I ara only too pleaded to recommend
Doan's Kidney Pills to other sufferers
of kidney complaint."
For salo by all dealers. Price 50
cents. Foater-Mllburn company, Buf
falo, ,N. Y., sole agents for the United
Remember the came Dean's
and take no other.
Once there lived a man who neved "fell down."
He was always Johnny-on-the-spot when he owed
a man any money, so everybody was glad ta have
hSs patronage and men often said, "Ho must Lo
successful and we'll Boost him along." Now to
pey Promptly it was societiaics necessary to bor
row, but he soon Found that it p.iid both finan
cially and in Good Will.
MORAL It's easy when you knew how. Our
system of loaning money makes It easy to bor
row and easy to pay back. It will pay you to In?
ve3tlgate. We make no misleading statements.
P.oom 40:1 Ilest.Buildirg..
HOCK li-L.SD, ILL.
Humor and t
By WfiCAJl Pf. SMITH
T'OU hear me roar?
I'm dying- for
A chance to uoar
High up and o'er
Tlie Etvtpenth floor
Virh Wilbur WrlEbt
Or any wKht
To any height
In airy flight.
A human kite.
In wild c" slight
To sail away
Most any day,
To be as gray j
And light ns they ,
Who aviate V
Whtre eagles rlay
To make a date.
To Icily stray
Where on display
The Milky way
Ecnda down a glow
To those below
And charges nothlns
For the show.
It must be great
To steer hor Straight
For Mars ,
To take a ftpln
Up yonder In '
Tbe azure bin
As comets do.
'Twould seem too level?
To be true.
Then must I irlue
Myself to earth
When It Is worth,
A monarch's toll
To reach the goal
That's set on hlffh
To brave the skyT
No; 1 will fly,
Cr I will know
The reason why.
"Where kin I 6ee the bossr eaid tbe
wild westerner, breaking Into the of
fice like a cyclone from his native
"Hare you a card?" asked the sub.
dued office boy in a quiet tone of
"A card! No, by gum! I left my prick
at hum! Say, kid. this ain't no con
fidence game you are tryin' to push,
tne against, is it?"
Cat the Favor.
"Are ye the lady of the house?"
Ye mean to say ye ore the wife cv
"Sure, ye look yonng enough to be
your own granddaughter."
"John, don't you think we ought to
build a warmer chicken house?"
"But the hens nted ventilation."
"1 kuow it. love, but Just think If (
they were to freer.e their feet they
might lay cold storage eggs."
rally from their
"I bad noticed
"Why is itr
"Just a matter
"No; some find
black much mora '
The Very Best.
"Gha always pays 1U cents above tba
market price for cg.s."
"She mrst have money to throw
"She gets a better grade that way."
"Maybe they are band laid."
Hew Decs Ha Sf It?
Dan Cupid s blind, we've heard thorn say
A hunurrd Units or more.
Bu nlll his footsteps ofitn stray
Where there Is cold galore.
A certain brand of boy can mak a
boiler factory Pound like a FUDltnrlutn
for the overworked.
Sometimes the membpr!i!p In tbe
don't worry clubs Is made up of don't
With no graft and ro rore taxpay
ers good roaJ.s nee4 nt be an irides
Some people are too lazy to lock at
a real Fumio and po have to buy a
picture ot one.
Many are extremely honest because
everything tLcy esteem of valuo
chances to Le nulled down.
Tou can gnmble tbnt you are open
to the predatory Incursions of every
enemy. No disinherited friend Is on
duty for you.
Bo rnnny thin? come by accident
that it Is wnstrd energy to have a
It Is a mere matter of habit thnt
6oi:ie men cut pancakes every mcrn
Ing for breakfast habit and paucates,
Queer, but cine men think It doesn't
matter what fie b!:i: rtrt becnuae they
always hrue th money to pay them,
and others feci juxt that way twnu-jo
they never fcnve the money to pay
Hoarsaness In a child subject to
l croup 13 a sure Indication of the an-
preach of the dlBease. If Chamber.
Iain's Covigb Remedy 3 given at once
or even after the croupy cough ha
ai penred, it will prevent the attack,
Qanioins no poison. Bold by all drug.
1 1 s.aia,