THE ROCK ISLAND AKGUS, FRIDAY, AUGUST 26, 1910.
THE ARGUS.
Published Dally end Weekly at 12
Cecond avenue. Rock Island. X1L
IBniJ
-rel at the pontofflc as second-class
matter.
BY THE J. W. POTTER CO.
TKRMSL Dally. 1 cents per weak.
Weekly, Sjl per year In advance.
All communications of argumentative
tbaracter, political or religious, must
have real nam attached for publica
tion. No, such articles wlU to printed
ever fictitious signatures.
Correspondence solicited . from every
township In Rock Island county.
Friday, August 26, 1910.
AXXOtTSCEMEXT. '
I hertby announce myself as a can
didate for the democratic nomination
for minority representative In the Thirty-third
senatorial district, and ask the
support of all democrats who deem me
worthy. J. S. SLOAN.
The early bird gets the worm, but
on the other hand the early worm
gets eaten.
It's In the air already the Curtiss
aeroplane in connection with the third
annua Rock Island exposition. Every
body is talking about it.
A Kentucky girl whose husband dis
couraged her taste for hobble skirts
by well directed kicks, is suing for
divorce. Why not apply for an order
to hobble the hubsand?
The New York Press confesses to "a
strong conviction that Senator Bris
tow is a man of better political
principles than Senator Aldrlch."
That being true, Senator Bristow's
principles may or may not be good.
King Manuel of Portugal has been
forced to hide In the mountains for the
purpose of keeping out of the way of
the Portuguese revolutionists. It
seems a shame to spoil the summer
of an absolutely Inoffensive young
king in that way.
Another Pittsburg scandal! Jere
miah F. McCarthy has been arrested !
. rr,n
Steel company. This man must feel
cheap when he compares his ' paltry
pilfering with others that have recent
ly been called to the attention of the
public.
George Ade, at a tea, was reproach
fully asked by a -matron why, with his
luiiuue, uiu nut marry. veii, mau
am," Mr. Ade replied, "I have decided
that In my case it is better to stay
single and disappoint a few women
for a time than to get married and
disappoint one woman for life."
X. -J .J llll'.ll J
Members of congress Issued 14,000,
000 copies of speeches at government
expense during the last session of con
gress. And of the hundreds of speech
es editors are supposed to miss read
ing none of them. This is one form of
mute appeal for sympathy for the
editors.
The center of population under the
new census will not, it Is thought, be
moved far from the present center,
says the Indianapolis Star. This is
not because the population of the Unit
ed States has not greatly increased,
"but because the bulk t. the increase
is not as usual, in the west. There has
been a great addition tq the number
of inhabitants of the southwest, espe
cially in Texas; but on the other hand.
a large percentage of the immigrants
who arrived during tne last few years I
scattered themselves over the eastern i
states. Rhode Island's increase for ex- j
ample is 1G per cent. In every direc-j
tion there is still room for more.
I
I
So Long to the "Tin Soldier."."
There is no longer room for the old
and familiar street cry "tin soldier,"
heard not so very many years ago,
whenever bodies of state militia niarcn
ed jauntily along. It has gone with su
perfluous gold lace and fancy uniforms.
The business of being a'voiuiiiter na
tional guardsman has been gradually,
but surely, transformed to the grave
and dignified plane of the regular.
Camp life is no longer a vacation. It
is mostly made up of hard work, with
just enough healthful diversion to
make it attractive.
In one particular there has heen a
decided change, and this is in sanita
tion!. The guardsman who goes into
v-amp today is instructed in the fine art
of keeping well, lie is schooled in
what to cat and where, and what to
drink and what not to drink. Rightly
ord-ered camp life is the healthiest life
on earth. v.. Napoleon, recognized the
principle of keeping his army well fed
and healthy, a3 well as well equipped.
As a result be overawed all Europe.
The Illinois national guard is learn
ing, and learning rapidly, the ways of
the regulars. It is becoming more and
more valuable as a reserve force
which may be depended upon to give
a good account of itself.
Retribution.
A St. Louis man had three wives.
Two killed themselves and "the third
tried it. Now the husband has died
by his own hand. His parents are
wealthy and prominent. Lying be
side his dead body was a religious
work, entitled, "The Mystery of (Jod
Revealed From His Work," and on
an open page it was written, "The
Man of Sin Is Revealed." Can one
imagine the last hours of his life
when, as he toyed with the revolver
with which he shot himself, the rec
ollections of the yearns gone by went
fishing through his mind Pictur
hira conning over his wasted years,
t seeing . the ghastly features of the j
women whom he had driven to de
spair. And then Imagine him plodding
through the-pages of "The Mystery of
God Revealed From His Work." and
writing his confession: "The Man of
Sin la Revealed."
An O. K. for Taft:
John Hays Hammond, greatest
of American mining engineers, - was
quoted In Sunday's press dispatches
as 'warmly and unreservedly como
mendlng the administration of Presl
dent Taft in every particular.
Mr. Hammond la several times a
millionaire, and long ago quit the tri
pod. He Is a member of the Ryan-
Morgan syndicate which secured valu
able concessions in the Congo from
the late King Leopold, which syndi
cate is now engaged in exploiting the
resources of the country, and the
labor of its people.
Doubtless Mr. Hammond has very
large interests in Alaska along with
his partners Morgan and the vjufte,wn
helms. He took so keen an Interest m
Mr. Taft's campaign that he personal
ly subscribed a large part of the cam
paign fund.
His days are largely given' over to
playing golf with Taft at Beverly, and
his nights to dinners with one or an
other man of influence.
It Is an open political secret that
Ballinger was substituted for Garfield
in the interior department at the re
quest of Mr. Hammond.
Naturally, therefore, and as be
comes a grateful man, John Haysf
Hammond is enthusiastic In his praise
of the Taft administration.
And if Ballinger shall go, Mr. Ham
mond is going to be very close to the
president's ear so that he "Shall be
able to guide him "wisely" In the se
lection of Ballinger's successor.
CALL
FOR DEMOCRATIC
CONVENTION.
STATE
Headquarters Democratic State Cen
tral Committee of Illinois. Chicago, Ill
Au?. 9.
A convention of the Democracy of
Illinois is hereby called to meet on Fri
day, Sept. 23, 1910, at noon, at the audi
torium of the city hall in the city of
Cast St. Louis, for the following pur
poses, viz:
. To nominate three candidates for
trustees of the University of Illinois,
To adopt a party platform, .
To transact such other business as
may properly be presented.
The said convention will be composed
of delegates from the several counties
of the state of Illinois, to be selected
under the provisions of the primary
election laws in force July 1. 1910.
The basis of representation for the
counties will be one delegate for every
400 votes and major fraction thereof
fast for the Bryan and Kern electors of
the democratic ticket of 190S.
The total number of delegates which
shall compose the convention is 1.140,
and the number of delegates to which
each county is entitled Is as follows:
Counties. Delegates.
Adams 21
Alexander 5
nond 4
lioor.e II
Brown - 4
Bureau - 7
alhoun
2
3
lHWU.il
Cass
Champaign 12
Christian 10
Clark 7
Clay B
Clinton 8
Coles 10
Cook , . . .329
Crawford - 7
Cumberland 5
DeKalb 4
DeWitt i f
Iotiglas 5
DuPage 5
Edgar 9
Kd wards 2
Kllingham ". 7
Fnvette 8
Ford 3
Franklin 5
Fulton 12
tin lint in '. - i
Green 5
Crur.ily 3
Hamilton .". 5
Hancock It
Hardin 2
Henderson 2
Henry 6
I roquois t 7
Jackson 8
Jasper 6
J i-oVrson
jersey 5 i
Jo Daviess 1 .
6
3
Johnson . .
Kane
Kankakee
13
1
S I
; Kendall . . .
Knox
.'aalie
iiwrence .
'-jnVtok
Loga n .. .'.
aim-on
Macoupin .
Madi.-.on . .
6
19
6
5
9
9
12
20 I
4 I
' M.irion . . .
Marshall
Mason . .
.Massac .
McDonou
Mr Henry
M' L'.nn .
Mr..ird .
Mercer . ,
6
1
S
onroe
Montgomery
.Morgan
Moultrie .
Peoria ,, 22
I'erry 6
Piatt 4
Pike a 10
Pope 2
Pulaski 3
I'utinan 1
Randolph 8
Richland 5
Ii-ick Island 12
Xiiine 6
Hangrtmcn 23
Schuyler 5
Scott 3
Shelby 10
sta.rk 2
St Clair .- 28
Stephenson 10
Taz'.-well 9
L'nion : 7
Vermilion 13
Wabash 4
Warren 6
Washington 5
Wayne 7
White 7
Whiteside 5
Will 14
Williamon 9
Winnebago 5
Woodford 5
By order of the democratic state cen
tral committee.
CHARLES BOESCHENSTEIN.
Chairman. -
I. B. Craig Secretary.
Aug. 26 in American
History'
1&"9 First petroleum well began to
flow at Titusvllle. Pa.
1871 Charles Scribner. founder of the
publishing house bearing bis name
and of the original Scribner's Mag
azine, afterward the Century, died;
born 1S21.
1S34 The Wilson tariff bill became a
... law without the president's ap
proval. Celia Lalghton Thaxter.
American poet, died at the Isles of
Shoals; born 1S35.
1904 John Rogers, sculptor, of "Rog
ers Groups," died; born 1829.
HAY LOSE THRONE
The Maharajan of Kapurthala
v Proves to Be Too Exjensive
. in His Tastes.
GRINDS SUBJECTS- HARD
Usually Broke, Though Indian Mod
archy Nets Him $1,000,000 in
Annual Income,
New Yorkers and other Americans
who were dazzled by the glory of the
raaharajab of Kapurtha!a and his
glittering suit when he visited the
United States a dozen years ago will
be interested to know that the lavish
Indian potentate's efforts to, save his
throne seem doomed to fail.
Though iu India he is styled "king
of kings." he is a vassal of the king of
England, who is also emperor of India,
and has good reason to fear that he
Is about to be dethroned.
Testes Too Expensive. '
The rnnbarajah's tastes are too ex
pensive for even his income of nearly
a million dollars a year, and he has
been playing ducks and drakes with
the finances of his state. His native
advisers are disgusted with him.-and
the Indian government . has warned
him that unless be ceases to be so
prodigal he will have to get out
lie went to England, accompanied
by his Spanish wife, early this year
to try to see King Edward about it.
The king would have nothing to do
with him there. The importunate ma
harajah pursued him to Biarritz and
engaged a 6uit of rooms just above his
majesty's. He so exasperated King Ed
ward with his attentions that a strong
hint was conveyed to him by an equer
ry that he might as well go home, for
there was no chance of getting an au
dience with the king.
He hopes King George will 'prove
more tractable, but this is far from
probable, and unless he leaves off ex
torting from his impoverished subjects
money to be frittered away In Europe
his deposition is thought to be certain.
Easy For Tradesmen.
The ma ha rajah is as, easy a mark
for the tradesmen of the European
capitals as was the late shah of Persia.
When he was in Diarritz this year he
bought eighteen new automobiles in a
fortnight. Generally his purchases are
conceived on much the same scale.
His wife, a rarely beautiful woman,
was a dancing girl in her native Span
ish town when he first saw "her and
fell in love with her. Her name was
Anita Delgado. Her equally lovely
sister, Victoria Delgado, captivated
roung Thomas Ross Winans, who mar
ried her about three years ago in spite
of earnest family objections.
Quick Relief for Rheumatism.
George. W. Koons, Lawton, Mich.,
says : "Dr. Detchon's Relief for
Rheumatism has given my wife won
derful benefit for rheumatism. ' She
could not lift hand or foot, had to bfe
lifted for two months. She began th9
use of the remedy and improved rapid
ly. On Monday she could not move
and on Wednesday she got up and
dressed herself and walked out for
her breakfast." Sold by Otto Grot-
Jan, 1501 Second avenue, Rock Island;
Gust Schlegel & Son, 220 West Second
street. Davenport.
If your ilver is sluggish and out
of tone and you feel dull, bilious, con
stipated, take a dose of Chamber
Iain's Stomach and Liver Tablets to-
! night before retiring and you will
feel all right in the morning. Sold
by all druggists.
Are You
Hesitating?
Don't let indecision keep you
from having 'your falling hair
stopped. Unless you do some
thing to prevent it, you'll lose all
your hair. We know how to stop
falling hair. We ask you to come
In and inspect our Halrdressing
Parlors, all newly equipped and
recently enlarged.
In charge of
MISS ICEY TEEL
Shampooing,
Halrdressing a. specialty.
Manicuring,
Scalp Massage, '
Chiropody
Facial Massage.
.' t
Young & McCombs
Co-Operative Store Co.
Rock Island, 111.
THE HOPES OF
SAN SEBASTIAN, Spain. In happy ignorance of the political troubles
that beset their father, the two children of King Alfonso and Queen
Victoria are having a glorious summer at this delightful seaside resort. Ev
ery day they may be seen with their nurses at play in the sands, rpmping
about and digging with their little shovels oh the beacb. They are healthy,
cheerful youngsters and great favorites with the other children here.
The Argus Daily Short Story
What a Child Did
Copyrighted, 1910, by
Some say that a mother's love has
more influence for good than any other
kind. Others say that the love be
tween the sexes is most effective. I
think that if good alone is considered
the mother's love is far the stronger.
If both good and evil are Included
sexual love is far more powerful.
I have been moved by both of these
Influences, but the greatest that ever
swayed me was from a child.
I was employed In a bank. One day
I came across a feature in my books
that I didn't understand.. I called the
cashier's attention to it. and be came
over to my desk to look into it. As
soon as he saw what I referred to he
told me tbat be would examine the
matter the nest day.
The following morning, when I took
up my books and turned to those
parts which bud puzzled me the day
before, I saw evidences on certain'
figures of very delicate scratching. I
never scratched entries myself, and
these erasnres surprised me. While
I' was examining the scratched figures
with a little pocket magnifying glass
one of the boys came up to me and
told me tbat the president wished to
see me.
The president was not In the habit
of sending for the clerks, and I natu
rally felt a dread as to what be wished
to see me for. At the same time the
puzzle about my books flashed upon
me, and I felt a sudden vague terror.
I found a man in the president's pri
vate office who seemed to be interested
in my coming. He was not talking to
the president as I entered, but looked
me over as though sizing me up. The
president said to me:
"Mr. Twining, tbere Is a deficiency
of $20,000 in our cash, and there are
evidences in your books of such a loss
having been covered up. It Is my pain-
FLOOD OV LIGHT FELL ON THE FaOX OF
TBS BABY.
ful duty to hand you over to the au
thoritiesthat 13. unless you are able
to restore the funds, in which case we
will not prosecute you."
As soon as 1 could get my breath I
denied the charge. Of course my de
nial had no effect. I asked that the
cashier be called, and my request was
granted. He came In. showing no es
pecial concern to one who did not sus
pect him as I did.' I saw evidences.
especially in his eye, that he was car
rying a big load.
"Mr. Wilcox," I said, "did I not call
your attention yesterday before closing
to-an irregularity I had discovered in
my books?"
"You did. but I had not time to In
vestigate it."
"Why." J said, turning to the presi
dent, "should I call attention to a
deficit 1 was attempting to cover up?"
"1 know nothing about what Mr.
Twining wished to call my attention
to," the cashier put in. "For a week
past I have been at work, on my books
nights with a view to discover this
deficiency. He might have wished to
speak of some other matter."
It was'all clear to me. Wilcor pad
used $20,000 of the bunk's funds and
had been tampering with -my books to
make it appearNhat 1 had been cover- j
14 I si
j
ing up such a deficiency. 1 saw at
SPAIN AT PLAY
Z ' - $ . "r
By Edward- Huntington.
Associated Literary Press.
once that I was ruiued and broke
down, crying like a baby. This was
considered evidence of my guilt. I
was turned oyer to the man I have
spoken of. who was a constable, taken
to jail and put In a cell.
I told my attorney of my suspicions
as to the guilty party; but. whether be
believed I was mistaken or tbat 1 was
guilty, he made no attempt to throw
the burden on the ca.shier. Perhaps
he thought it better to advocate an
entirely different theory. At any rate,
be made a lamentable failure of my
defense. 1 was convicted and sent to
state prison for ten years.
I never speak or write of that hor
rible period 1 served seven years,
getting off tbree for -pood behavior
because I do not wish to exorcise the
demon It bfgot in ray nature. Upon en
tering tbe prison I formed a resolution
as x what I would do' as soon as I got
out I would kill tbe man who had
ruiued me. My first resolve was to
pick n qunrrel with him. glvlDg him
an wivjn! clinnce with mo for his life
But upon consideration I saw no Jus
tice in this and resolved to kill him
on sight, lint to do this I would have
to suffer death on the gallows or im
prisonment for life. My final plan was
to go to bis bouae at nigbt. kill him
secretly and fly to some foreign coun
try. From this determination I never
swerved.
As soon as I was discharged I went
to the nearest ocean port, learned all
about the sailing of vessels and fixed
the date of my revenge for a day and
hour to enable me to reach a ship just
as she was sailing. Tben I went to
the city where 1 bad been ruined and
where my enemy lived. He was still
cashier of the same bank where I had
been employed and lived in the same
bouse. I surmised tbat he was still
indebted to tbe bank, for be. could not
have m::de restitution without ex
onerating me.
To carry out my plan I must work as
an ordinary criminal. But why not?
This man had placed me before all the
world in the position of a criminal,
and my proposed act would confirm me
in that position. I provided myself
withau auer and a circular saw with
which to gain an entrance into his
house. I took no firearms, only a
sharp knife.
When all was ready I was obliged
to welt for several days to expire be
fore tbe sailing of tbe vessel on which
I intended to leave. During this in
terval I kept continually brooding ou
my ruined life, those terrible years in
prison and the miserable future be
fore me. Tbe result wus that I could
scarcely wait for my revenge. But
the bands of the world's clock never
stop, and at lust the nigbt for mv
work came round.
naving reached Wilcox's house. 1
bored a hole In a rear.door. sawed out
a piece of the panel large enough to
insert my arm and shot tbe bolts. 1
had been in the house when I was em
ployed in the bank and bad recently
taken pains to learn tbat Wilcox slept
in a room by himself and what room
be occupied. .Therefore, though I had
a lantern with mc, I did not expect to
use it.
Nevertheless I found that I must
take risks. Getting luto a room with
which I was not familiar and not hear
ing any one breathing bard as in sleep.
I flashed my light in order to get my
bearings. 1 turned it rapidly bereand
there till it fell on a child's crib, and
before I realized what 1 was doing a
flood of bright light fell on the face of
a baby I should say about six months
of age, and before 1 could turp my
Better
in
jMWaV
the
Laundry
Gets the Dirt
and
Spares tbe Clothes
You've probably always boiled your cloth
It's necessary with ordinary Boaos. E
. ,., " t- ft n "a
. ' ' ' ' f J 'ft. .-
'not with Peosta. You'll
simply soakine the clothes in Peosta
ing with ordinary soaps. '
Peosta gets tbe dirt more easily. Aod it spares tbe clothes. Tbat is why It Is far
taore eoonotnical. Mo need for scrub-board or boiler both enemies of root clothes.
Try tbe Peosta war once and save neecileis work and wear.
S large bars 25c.
AQ grocers carry Peonta. If yours Is out of it. write o.
JAMES BEACH & SONS, DubtiJJue, Iowa .
AIM Maafaelaran of Baack flMtias Whiw Caaliia fur 4iua s4 baada. 9
lantern asitie two eyes were blinking
at the dazzling rays.
Tbevnext thing for that child 'to do
would be to cry, and tbat would send
me back within walls and without any
revenge. I resorted to a dewperate ex
pedient. 1 went to the child and be
gan to hum a tune in a low voice. Still
it fretted. Then, knowing that there
was no one but the child and myself
In the room, with the door to the ad
joining room closed and the door by
which I bad eDtered from the ball also
closed I concluded to light the gas.
though I kept It turned pretty low.
Then 1 went back to continue my ef
forts to quiet the child.
The moment tbe little fellow saw
me be 6inlled at me.
If you can conceive of an ugly storm
suddenly giving way before balmy sun
Wuine you can understand the murder
In my heart melting before that baby's
smile. I crooked my forefinger and held
it up to the little fellow, and be clutch
ed it. There's a- line In poetry, "Baby
fingers, wason touches." that when I
read it always reminds me of tbat
boy's grasp. Then he caught Fight of
a seal ring on my little finger my
mother had given me and let go my
forefinger to Investigate the ring.
I bad come into that house to kill
tbat boy's father. For fhe first time
the horror of such a revenge became
apparent to me. Before tbe child's con
fiding smile, his Innocent eyes, under
his waxen touch, the injury I was
intending to do him through bis fa
ther passed back Into tbat horrible im
prisonment from which it bad sprung.
The door that led to tbe adjoining
room opened and Wilcox, in night
clothes, entered. He stared at me for
a few moments, then, recognizing me,
exclaimed :
"Twining: Wbat are you doing
here?"
"I came to kill you. Your boy has
saved your life."
I shall never forget bis agonized ex
pression. "If It were not for blm and hl3 moth
er I would gladly have you run a knife
through me at this moment."
"And for bis and bis mother's sake
I forgive you." -
liectuuiug Die id iuiiow uilu, uc wrai
Into tbe ball, down on to tbe main floor
and into tbe library.
"Twining." be said brokenly, "you
are a noble fellow."
"I might have been bad you not put
murder into my heart."
"It was I. not yourself, that effected
a temporary change In you. You have
been recalled to wat you were by my
Innocent boy. God grant he may nev
er know that to save myself I ruined
you."
"He never shall know it from me. and
if I can help it be shall never know
it from any one else. I will keep the
secret for him and from him. But that
deficiency is It still a loss?"
"I bave gained tbe money to repay
It long ago. I should bave done so
and had the strength to exonerate you.
but I could not own my meanness."
"You needn't do that now. I will
confess to what I denied. If you wish
to make restitution through me. do so.
T will keep that secret too." .
"Tbere Is a better way. I can send
It anonymously."
And so It was that an Innocent child
saved me from murder, enabled his
father to restore the funds be had
taken and to exonerate me.
Latest Move of Suffragettes.
'London's "bobbles" are losing much
sleep these days. And no wonder. Un
til the present the arrest of suffragettes
has been one of London's chief outdoor
diversions; but. judging from the condi
tions being made for the future, the
"bobbies" will have their bands more
than full in han
dling the women.
Mrs. Garrud. a Jiu
JItsu expert, has
been engaged by
tbe organization
to tench tbat dil
cult art, and the
suffragettes will
use the Japanese
method of deal-
who interrupt
their meetings. "We are going to use
force in earnest in the future," says a
suffragette, "and if some of those big
brutes of policemen are Injured it
ivuu l vug iuuii, 1UL nnuiniQ uaa j
now been given." t rom now on tne
war for "votes for women" will go on
with renewed vigor.
Be sure and take a bottle of Cham
berlain's Colic, Cholera and' Diar
rhoea Remedy with you when start
ing on your trip this summer. It
cannot be obtained on board tee
trains or steamers. Changes of wa
ter and climate often cause sudden
attacks of diarrhoea and it Is bebt to
be prepared. Sold by all drug
gists. Struck a Rich Mine.
S. W. Bends of Coal City, Ala., says
he struck a perfect mine of health
in Dr. King's New Life Pills for they
cured him of liver and kidney trou
ble after 12 years of suffering. They
are the best pills on earth for con
stipation, malaria, headache, dys
pepsia, debility, 25 cents at all drug
gists. Results
SOAP
eet better results bv ift-rYr-F-;:-'f,"l
suds than vou will bv hours of boil
Humor and
Piulosophy
Jr X VACAA M. SMITH
PERT PARAGRAPHS.
QNE of two things generally con
cerus us. but wbeu we bave to be
concerned about two of one things we
want to select the thing ourselves.
Do tbe best you can all the, tlnie and
you will at least keep busy. '
A man who is fussy about his neck
ties ought to keen bis shoes well pol
isbed but does he? -
Don't try to drown your troubles.
They can swim like fish. Just forget
them.
People who arc having theories aa
a business seldom lack practice of hav
ing them.
i """
It really seems disproportionate tbat
it takes so little to make some people
mad and so much to please them.
: When you sit down hard on some
people you often find tbe seat uncom
fortable.
We are often admonished to keep
our poise, and the admonlsber seems
to forget that we must first get it.
It is easier to want tbe good opinion
of others than It is to get it
Tbe man wbo works for T2 a daj
Isn't apt to get arrested for disorderly
conduct.
j Beyond His Capacity.
"Didn't you come back rather sud
denly from your vacation?"
"Well, you see. I was tbe only man
among ten women at tbe resort."
, "What was tbe matter with that?"
"Nothing, only before I knew It I
was engaged to tbe entire ten."
"And did they make it hot for you?"
"No; they were pleasant enough
about it."
"Tben why didn't you stay?"
"I ducked .when tbree more women
got off the train."
Practical Test,
are you looking
"What
so glum
about?"
"I have a raging toothache."
"Pshaw! Pain is all Imaginary."
"Think so?"
"1 kii"-v jr. Jnst think yon haven't
got it will vanish."
"Wouiu .cu mind letting me drop
this flatlron on your toe?"
Longing.
If Cook did not discover
The very northmost spot
I'd like to be as close to tt
As tbe explorer got.
Finished Product So Different.
"It is awfully funny."
"What is awfully funny?"
"You know Mrs. Brown?"
"Yes."
"Well, she takes la washing."
"What of it?"
"And she lets out rooms."
Some Provocation.
"He refuses to drown tbe
kittens
for his wife."
"Too teuder hearted?"
"Yes."
"That's al! put on. I. saw him yes-
ing with police- i terday swinging bis arms and shout
men and others ' mg 'Kill the umpirel"
Accommodating. ,
"Pretty swell restaurant w were
In."
"Yes. and I noticed you didn't tip
tbe waiter. Isn't tbat allowed?"
"Yes. but I forgot about It."
"I wish I bad a memory like tbat.
Excellent.
"I like my dressmaker so much."
"That's a good thing." .
"Isn't It?"
"She Is very stylish. I suppose?"
"Not so very, but she hardly evef
sends in a bill."
Took a Tumble.
"We don't see tbe old fashioned min
strel show any more."
"No."
"Have the end men nil died?"
"No: Just got ashamed of them
selves." Relentless.
Y. swat 'em, pjt 'em.
HI IT ani t'.ng with sticks
Or bricks or anything"
lour mitt If It
Is strong and true.
A towel, too. will do.
Pursue the rny varmint to Its lan-.
And there don't spare
Its feeling life or child or wife
Or kith or Kin. Pitch In and win.
Get on Its tracks with ax
Or gun or ny weapon "neath the sun.
Try traps. Perhnpa they'll land a nunc.
Put poison where they fare for luoch.
Use any method that you will.
Hut kill atid t-ii:
Klay on. MclufT: Da rough.
Oon't stop though they should cry,
"Enough!"
Four bloody Cng must not be furled
Until we nave a rlyleaa world.
When the digestion is all right, the
ccttcn of the bowels regular, there
is a natural craving and relish for
food. When this is backing you may
know that you need a dose of Cham
berlain's Stomach and LiverTablets.
! They strengthen the digestive organs.
improve the appetite and regulate tbe
1 bowels. Sold by all druggists.
" ' "'V
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