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raB ROCE ISIiAlJD AHOU5 FHIBAY, JUNE S3, 1911.
Xsteao, in. IBn-
OYTMKA W. POTTER CO.
' chjamctaa, , yTWeal or nUdm xnnst
'hHtflMtfMM attached for-
,tJon.T. o. svon, artlolea will be, -printed
.towaa&rp In Rock dslaad comity.
Friday, June 3,-49t1.
Tha American queen may not iyce
tor, a-crcrn;but-Bomo iay she'll have
x j. -a
Friends -of Billy Larimer ever that
tSe clacg.tpot' Is In common use in
polities i Illinois. AH the more- rea
son. xhat4tahould:,be abolished.
It artTitrecHir, fast about two -weeks
toVrun throngh, ,tho 21 Bt of cewrpepsr
' pictures 4lhe coronation. The ma gi
zmos may nibble along throughout the
. Bummer. ,
So .far -there seems to be no record
of arry tf ,the iWan street broken, who
devote ; their energies to the fleecing
.of .lambs., having gone broke through
.any of the . adverse decisions given
gatnstthe "busted" trusts.
Astsawkaw provides that sign post,
i designating the distance and direction
to the nearest towns, should mark ev
f ery 'fear corn era. As an excuse for the
t fall ore to comply with the law, the
I road, commissioners of the different
itownehips have pleaded lack of ap
propriations to do the. work.
Coming. from Kansas Is the story of
a certain farmer near Wichita who
j split the ends of the cornstalks in a
Held -where the crop had been killed by
the protracted drought and heat and
tlnaerted in each a freshly laid egg. He
'Is now said to be gathering the crop
Vith an incubator for a harvester.
' Bristow Leads Reactionaries.
Senator Bristow of Kansas assslstel
by the solid delegation of special privi
lege senators, succeeded in tacking an
amendment to the resolution provid
ing for the direct election of senator,
which greatly endangers and may de
feat that measure. Bristow pretended
the amendment, which retains federal
control over the elections, wo'itd
strengthen the probability of its final
passage, when the fact is Bristow
knew, as did every other senator n
the chamber, that the amendment
would endanger and perhaps defeat
the ratification of the resolution !iy
the necessary three-fourths of the
The Bristow amendment la the saao
used by Sutherland or Utah and tee
ring of Wall street buccaneers in th
senate in the last session to defeat
direct senatorial elections. The meu
who worked hardest for the Bristcv
amendment were Lorimer of Illinois,
Guggenheim of Colorado, C'immins of
Iowa, Lippitt of Rhode Island. Clap;)
of Minnesota, Smoot of Utah and
Stephenson of Wisconsin.
The Bristow amendment was fousht
by La Toilette, Gronna, Borah, Poin
dexter and Works, republicans and
every democrat in the senate save one.
Funeral l"yre In ihe Air.
Since the beginning of the race man
has died many deaths and found il
' kinds of strange sepulture. But never
was a death so strange, so weird, j
striking as that of the two Fren.U
aeronauts at Vincennes a few dija
Hlsh up in the air. target for tue
eyes of a million spectators, a wonder
ful soaring tblnsc, the aeroplan. ro-e
and circled and -floated above the ea-iL
above the fitful winds that threaterii
the frail craft, far up until it miog'ed
wi.h the clouds.
And then, in an instant, the machine
became a flaming, dowuward-rushin?.
meteor, an engine of horrible death,
an aerial funeral pyre, the strangest
that the world has ever seen.
A man was burning to death un
there amid the clouds burning t
death through endless seconds, in a
place where his shrieks of agor.
died on the air even as he iitte-ed
The aerial fuieral pyre became a
naming tharlot that was bringing Mi 9
body back to earth, and in- anotbe
instant, a shapeless wreck, arou:..i
which crowded the awe-stricken spec
tators who hal not yet had time to
realise the full significance of the awful
spectacle they had witnessed.
Was ever a death like this? Men
have died by the sword and the torou.
by famines and disease, by rope and
cord and dagger, by falling from bal
loons and scarped cliff and battlement,
by shell and grapeshot and bullet at
home, on the scaffold, in lonely way,
on the field of battle. But sever slue 3
the world began has it come to a man
to die as these two men died at Vin
cennes to find execution by fire and
flame high up amid the ciouds tin Led
by ftho flames of a second sunrHo
Within eyeshot of a million.
Pioneers In newer fields of death,
unfortunate discoverers of a strange,
wonderful way to die, were th-se
jJtwo men although they little sue-
pected On what a voyage they we:e
bent and what weird things they
rwould find, .yet live not to relate.
Henceforth this is their peculiar
frame theyn&ied as never man died
There -wer two -of -them Captain
Prmceteao, said to cat been one of
tha most capable and courageous ct
tne aviators in tne French, arm.
and 2L Lendron, a civilian aviate
of experience and reputation. In one
case the disaster waa caused by the
explosions of the motor and in the
other by the explosion of the ben
Tjxirtng. Indeed, tn Imagination to
he who does sot find the story of
their new way to die weird, won
derful and strangely compe&liig-who
cannot see tn his mind's eye that float
ing pyre, that downward meteor rush.
that charred and shapeless wreck upon
American Capital In Canada.
Acoording (to the subagent of the
British board of trade at Toronto,
1417,143421 of American capital Is In
vested ln Canada. It is divided as-fol
Two hundred and nine
companies, average capi
tal $600,000 $125,400,006
investments In Bhltlsh
Columbia mills and tim
Investments in British Co
lumbia mines 60,000,000
Land deal in prairie
provinces i 25,000,000
Investments In lumber and
mines; prairie prov
inces ...... 10,000,000
Packing plants .,. 6,000,0000
Agricultural Implement dis
tributing houses 8,575,000
Land deals. British Co
lumbia ......... 8,500,000
Municipal 'herds, sold
Investments In Canada of
United States insur
ance companies 43,293,221
Purchase of city and town
property .. 12,525,000
Investments In the mari
time provinces 12,850,000
The attention of Senator Crawford
and others who prophesy that calam
ity is certain to follow approval of
the reciprocity treaty, ought to be di
rected to the investments in timber,
in lands in the prairie provinces, and
In Industrial investments as a reminder
to them that because of senseless tariff
barriers, our manufacturers are produc
ing in Canada what ought to be pro
duced here, and that timber land in
vestors are approving reciprocity be
cause it will enable them to get under
the bars a paternal government main
tains for the enrichment of the lumter
trust at the expense of the consumer.
Moreover, the investment in landi
indicates conclusively that American
farmers have taken up lands in Canada
not by reason of free trade between
the countries, but despite an American
tariff wall against the products of Can
JOINING THE ARMY.
Opportunities That Are Open to the
xnere are many opportunities open
to the man who enlists in the United
States army and wears the uniform
of Uncle Bam with honor to himself
and his country. The pay is good, the
food i good, and the chances for ad
vancement re numerous. It is up to
the individual man himself to make
good and to' take advantage of the
Writing in the Columbian Magazine
on army affairs. Edward Marshall in
discussing the status of the enlisted
Summarized, this is what a man
who thinks of marching for his Uncle
Snmuel as an enlisted man has to con
sider: On first enlistment the soldier for
Old Glory nowadays gets $15 a month,
far better pay. for instance, than the
average clerk's, for board, lodging and
clothing are furnished by the govern
ment. If be qualities as marksman
be adds $2 to bis pay; if as a sharp
shooter be gets $3 in addition; if as
an expert riCeman a full third more.
Thus be may at once get $20 monthly
cash and found if be is able and keeps
If be enlists as a musician he gets
$21 monthly to start off with., the
highest '-rookie's" pay. In the sijrnul
corps, the hospital corps and the en
gineers' corps first class privates get
$1S monthly, and second class privates
Upon enlistment every man is allow
ed SKJ.70 for his uniforms, etc.. and
afterward $13.54 twice annually. At
least one-hnlf the men save money on
their clothing allowance, which Is more
than ample. I'rivstes' pay increases
S3 a month for each three year en
listment. An expert rifleman who
never gets to be n petty officer, there
fore, c-.-in run bis pay up. with good
conduct and Intelligence, to $35 a
montb and all bis necessaries "found"
in tire enlistments covering fifteen
Noncommissioned officers are taken
from the ranks on recommendation of
their company or troop commanders
and are ofteu given their posts upon
their first enlistments. These men are
really well paid. A sergeant major is
allotted to each regiment. He receives
$45 monthly when be is appointed and
$4 additional per month each time be
re-enlists. Heglmental commissary ser
geants, regimental quartermaster's ser
geants and tbe three battalion ser
geants in each regiment get tbe same
high pay. Each company has a first
sergeant at $45. with an Increase of
$4 upon re-en lUtments; s second ser
geant at $26. with $3 Increase for each
re-enlistment; a corporal at $18. with
$3 each for re-enlistments. Tbe gov
ernment acts as banker for the sol
diers, too. if they desire to have It. and
noncommissioned officers have left the
service with as much ss $20,000 saved
not one. but many. If be sticks tight
to the service for full thirty years a
noncommissioned officer is entitled to
retire meat on pay ranging from one
half to three-quarters of his service
pay. Seventy' dollars monthly fa not
on usual pay for a "noocom" to retire
ooj And .everr. yesx-oX sarr&e.seeai
outside the United States count as
two years at a home post a. km
therefore, after fifteen years of service
In the Islands mar retire on his half
The food the nou corns and the
other enlisted me are grrea is wheie-
some and well cooked, the medical at
tandaaoe tree and able, post and gar
rison schools have been provtdeft at
all pests for the primary branches,
and st several posts trad schools
hate been established. A worthy
man, no matter where he may be sta
tSoned. is almost certain to get trans
fer to a "school post" If be asks for
it. Cooking, baking, Macksmfthlng,
veterinary surgery, electrical and sts
tJonary engineering, all are taught at
these trade schools, ss wen as many
other things. Thus a boy who has
had little chance to get an education
may, after he has Joined the army.
get a very good one.
There seems to be but one thing
Which army life does not offer to the
enlisted man. But that one thing t
In Its degree indeed the life of the
enlisted man now offers mors induce
ments than the Bfe of the West Point
er. ' The commissioned officer's pay Is
small when his expenses and the ef
fort be must make to get commission
ed are considered, and, furthermore.
the noncommissioned officer Is not so
subject to political influences as the
west Pointer, jrhe gives hfaa his com
THE SHORTEST SPEECH.
ft Was- DsHvered by Caesar and Can
elated ef a Single Word.
JaHos Caesar holds the record tor
brevity of convincing speech.
The story is told that while Caesar
was In the midst of his struggle for
the mastery of tbe Roman empire the
soldiers of his favorite Tenth legion
mutinied. He appeared before them,
and, uttering the one word "Qttirttes,"
That word means. Of course, "clU-
sens," nut to tne veterans to wnom is
was addressed It meant a great deal
more. It was the special term used In
addressing Roman voters assembled In
a purely civic capacity, not as soldiers.
but as civilians.
To the mutinous soldiers It meant
that the great commander, whom they
had followed for ten long years from
the Alps to the Thames and from tbe
Bhlne to tbe Pyrenees and across tbe
Rubicon, disowned them as soldiers
and dismissed them from his victori
Realizing lbs meaning, tbe story
goes, tne mutineers were appauea.
Battle scarred veterans burst Into
tears. Implored their leader to pardon
them and Inflicted summary punish
ment upon tbe Inciters of the mutiny
as a proof of tbeir repentance.
The Term Philosopher.
The word "philosopher" Is said to
bare originated with the celebrated
Pythagoras, who was born about 570
B. C The word means a lover of wis
dom. Pythagoras must bave been a
very remarkable man, for It is certain
that he made a profound and lasting
impression upon bis rime. He was
the originator of tbe Idea that nature
Is a harmony and that Its varied phe
nomena are all brought about by un
erring and universal laws end are an
expression of nothing less than the
universe Itself. True to the name be
mtfta hfiriAl DetKarfMfla 4a mniA A
have devoted bis whole life to tbe ac
quisition of knowledge to tbe end that
he might impart it to others without
money and without price. He was
one or tne nooie influences 01 antiq
uity, and the effects Of bis unselfish
labors are still visible among men.
All Have Troubles.
"Everybody worries about money."
"Oh. I don't know, gome men are so
Thafs Just it Poor men worry' be
cause they can't get money, and the
rich man worries for fear that it will
get away from him." Philadelphia
Ostend Pa, what kind or ships are
courtships! Pa Soft ships, my son.
Ostend And what kind of ships sail
tbe sea of matrimony Y t'a tsard
6hips. my son. London Tit-Bits.
Can You Buy Such
At These Prices
Jive correctly cut stones, av
erage weight slightly over one
carat each, beautiful goods,
the kind that you and I would
be proud to wear and own.
Until Closing Tlma- Satutfar
If you Intend to buy a dia
mond you will save $35 to $56
by accepting this offer.
Safety Bailding ,r
The Former President of Defunct
$8,000,000 Trust Company on Trial
, ir N 4 NS V"-
I ' M wi
W --t- . '.
Photo by American Press Association.
The first of the trials of ..indicted officers of the defunct Carnegie Trust
Company of New York is sow under way. The defendant Is Joseph B. Reich'
mann, who Is charged with making a false report as to the condition of th
Institution to the state banking department. Relchmann, who Is only thirty
six years old. is an exceptional business man and for several years has drawn
an annual salary of $50,000 ss president of the National Starch company and
Corn Products company, both subsidiaries of the Standard Oil company. In
the picture he Is sesn walking with his counsel. Relchmann. uses a cane, being
a sufferer from paralysis.
The Argus Daily Short Story
The Mill By
Copyrighted, ltll. by
There is no more dainty bit of scen
ery, to my thinking, than one 6f those
little patched up, tumbledown, moss
covered water mills of the olden time.
They are always situated at the lower
end of a pond, nestling under trees
and half burled In shrubbery. They
speak of a past when farmers were
used to carrying a sack or two of
grain to mill on horseback before them
to have it ground. Now tire grain la
grown on bigger farms in bigger bulk,
and the individual farmer's product Is
lost in a great cereal river that flows
to mills driven by steam and with
stacks towering hundreds Of feet high.
Progress is there, but the little water
mill of the past Is only useful to fur
nish themes for the artist.
I am one of these knights ofi the
brush myself. One day, coming upon
such a simple scene as I bave men
tioned. I opened my three legged stool.
set np my easel and began to work in
toy colors. I have the picture I made
Of the mill, and no money would in
duce me to part with it There Is a
story connected with It told me while
was painting, which, appealing to
my fancy, rendered my work especial
ly successful. The picture and tbe
story go together.
while I was at work a man unaer a
faded straw hat and Suspenders un
covered by coat or waistcoat came up
behind me and looked at my woTk.
He wts a middle aged countryman.
with those furrows in bis face that
seem to be transferred there from his
eyes being constantly fixed on furrows
made by his plow. He seemed to taice
a deed Interest In my picture.
There's somep'n wanted on that
little space beside tbe wheel,'' he said.
"What's that?" I asked.
"A boy and a girl."
"What boy and girl?"
"Somep'n happened there onct. I
kin tell y about It If y' want to hear
If . . -
"It's about myself and the girt. I
was nigh on to seventeen, and Janey
was fifteen. Children haven't got any
Sense, and Janey wasn't much past
beinf a child. We had" been playlnf
together when we was at an age to
play, and now' we was a little older
we kept oh playin' together. Anyway,
Janey was a wild little thing and op
to aU sorts Of pranks. Wast I was
doln about this time Tm speakin' of
was trytn' to keep her from tumbiln'
off the peak of the bant roof, or faain'
down through a hole In tha haymow
floor, or gStdn drowned ia the pond.
"One day we was over there- where
a dirt road led down to tbe mllL Ifs
all crown over with grass now, but
you can see where ft was. At that
tlma tha mill was run whenever there
was any grain to grind, and when
there wasat tha water was turned
off tha sluice. -That day it was turned
"The first thing I knew Janey she
Climbed out on to tha wbeeL Her
weight was Just enough to torn it and
let her down slow. While sba was
slnkln' she looked at me and laughed.
It was a purty enough laagh. but
somehow I dldnt Uka to see her goiaf
down fats that hole, ' 'causa there
wasnt any way for her to g out. It
was walled in. except near the top,
where an opening had been left to let
the water eat. Of course when Janey
got to tha bottom tha wheel stopped
"Then I asked Janey to stand on it
and Jet ma tnraLtt and her beck agio.
Associated Literary Press,
out she got off and dared me to come
down. I can see her eyes now Just
as they .looked tben with a lot of dev
iltry in 'em.
There was two simpletons instead
of one. I got on to the wheel, and it
turned quicker with my weight than
with hers. 1 joined her at the bottom.
and she was amusln' herself in all
sorts of ways, dancin and runnin'
around tbe wheel and bollerln' to bear
how queer It sounded down there.
Two or three times 1 tried to git her
to let me take her Out It wouldn't
be an easy matter in any event. The
only way it could be done web for us
to balance each other by climbin' on
opposite sides of tbe wheel. But if
tha water should be turned on we
couldn't do that.
"First thing I knew I beard somep'n
moved suddent above, and down come
the water. I looked at Janey, scared
out of my boots, but Janey seemed to
consider it a good Joke, the little fool,
and began to dance about in the wa
ter on the stone floor. But gradually
the water rose. F. a the bottom to
the lowest part of the wheel it was
up to our necks. I lifted Janey on to
the wheel and got tip myself. The
only thing for us to do was to climb
as tbe wbeel turned.
"I shouted with all my might, hopln'
the miller would hear me. Bat he
was Inside the mill, and the noise of
the water down where we was was
enough to drown any boy's voice. I
looked about for somep'n to stop the
wheel with, but there wasn't a stick
is long as my arm anywhere. The
only hope I bad was that the miller
bad a small lot of grist to grind and
he'd git through before we was tired
out. But 1 didn't think he'd start the
mill for less than two or three hours'
"Janey stood up well for about half
an hour it seemed four times as long
then she began to give out The
only thing I could do with her was to
brace her up by put tin' my arm back
of her. She didn't seem frightened or
ready to cry, but she looked at me with
a tired smile and kept on workln the
"But purty soon she got so tired
I knew she'd have to git a rest and 1
looked about for somep'n to cling to
sway from the wheel. There was a
break In the old wall surroundln' the
wbeel that left one of the stones so
we could git our hands on it I push
ed off with Janey, axd we clung to the
"We got a kind of a rest but it wasn't
pleasant being in water over our heads
fceepln' ourselves up that way, and
Janey's teeth began to chatter. I was
beside myself with terror for her. It
was she who wss puttin' the best face
on it all, sayin that tbe grist would
soon give out and the water would be
turned off. But I knew that her
strength wss go In', and I dreaded a
time when it would leave her all at
"Then I tried hollertn egin, but I
hadn't as much power behind my voice
as I had when I called before and
couldn't make as much noise.
I knew I'd got to do somep'n or
party soon it would be all over with ns.
It occurred to me that if I could get
my weight on to the side of the wheel
that was goin' up tbe motion would
be slower. I ssked Janey if she could
hold on where she was for awhile.
She said she could, bat I knew she
. T had, to rut mi-ana around her, ,
and, partly by awtmirrta and partly
by clinglnf to tbe wall, I worked my
way towavd the back of the wheel.
The hardesti place to pass was between
the wheel nd the wall. I expected
both of us would be crushed.
"When I gotby that part of It and
got Janey and' myself a-hold of the
wbeel I felt beater. But we couldn't
stop the wheel; all we could do was
to cling to it till It pulled us out of the
water and then catch: hold lower down.
I did thls, but Janey4 could only keep
cbangin' her hands .'all the while as
tbe wbeel revolved, she be in support
ed in the water. Knowin that this
was ouronly chance,, I threw all the
strength ileft in me into my work,
lettln' tbe wheel pull me almost up to
the water runnin' above, stayin' there
and lettln' go my hold first with one
hand, tben with the other. But as I
was hangln' In the air and wasn't
buoyed by water Jit was awful hard
work, .especially after what I'd been
through. Still, there's hardly a limit to
tbe encmrance of a boy of sixteen.
"All of a suddent I saw the miller
lookln down on us. I didn't have to
holler, and. he didn't say a word. He
ran away, I heard the sluice close, and
in another minute be was back with
a ladder, which he put down and, com
In' down himself, first took Janey In
his arms and carried her out He was
comtnf back. for me, but I let go tbe
wheel !,and swam for the. ladder by
myself. . I tried to climb-up. it, but It
was no go; the miller . reached down
and dragged: me out
"When I. got up I saw Janey lyln
on the grass with her eyes closed, limp
and white as. a doth. Thlnkln' she
was dead, I gave a cry and, bendln'
down over her,. lifted her in my arms.
The miller said she'd only fainted and
would come to .herself purty soon. And
he was right In another moment she
opened her eyes, and, seein. me, -what
do you suppose she did TV .
"She Just smiled the same kind of a
smile as when she was gorn' down on
"My friend," I said at the conclu
sion of bis story, "I wish I bad you
and Janey right here at the age you
then were that I might work you into
"If you'll come with me up the road
a bit I'll show you two young uns
that'll do as well," he replied.
I went with the man, who stopped
at a little bouse beside the road. We
entered and found a middle aged wo
"There's Janey," he said. Turning
to her. he added, "Where are the chll
"Janey's upstairs, and I sent Dick
to the store. He'll be back in a few
A girl about fifteen came down at
her mother's call, and there was
Janey sure enough. I asked permis
sion to make a sketch of her, and
when her brother, two years her
senior, came in I did the same with
him. Then I gave each a good fee
for serving as models, and after drink
ing a glass of milk which was urged
upon mo I took my leave.
Going back to the mill, I finished
my picture under the inspiration oc
casioned by the story connected with
It. As I worked I thought which of
the different scenes through which the
youngsters had passed I would Intro
duce on the canvas. I knew that to
place Janey on the grass Just recover
ing from her fainting would bo ef
fective, but I rather favored putting
her on the wheel when she first step
ped on to It and smiling at her boy
companion, his own expression denot
ing his anxiety. I deefded upon the
latter feature, and, taking to my stu
dio the sketches I had mude. I work
ed them in when I felt In tbe mood
for It I succeeded far better in de
picting tbe required expression than
I had hoped for. The picture bangs In
my studio and has often been ad
mired. I have bad many offers for it
but It Is the only picture I have ever
painted wherein there is a story I
bave heard at first hand. For this
reason I have never been willing to
part with It.
June 23 in American
1S60 The spilt Democratic conven
tions nominated Stephen A. Dong
las and John C. Breckinridge as
rival candidates, giving the elec
tion to Lincoln and resulting in
1SCS Admiral Samuel Francis Dupont,
U. S. N.. distinguished in the civil
war. died; born 1803.
1S02 Grover Cleveland nominated for
president at Chicago.
BUT THE EATING
Why spend these days In the
kitchen baking bread when we
bake nice fresh bread and de
liver it at your door every
Is Ju-t as nice as can be, in.
fact it Is Just the same as horn0
made with the half days' work
preparing it cut out. Fresh
cakes of all kinds are always
found at ou? riace.
1716-1718 Second Avenue.
Try some of our fruit wafers
and fruit ton bona. 20c and
25c .he pound, g
j$v. , Philosophyj
,,PERT PARAGRAPHS. i
TF It Is impossible to get something
for; nothing bow about the other
side of i the sketch when you get noth-.
lng for -something?
When a bad man makes good does
it make him a good man?
The shortest distance between two
points is the circuitous path round the,
obstacle separating them. j
The man who pleases himself ought'
to be satisfied with the Job. j
Some people are able to put on style
by the simple expedient of llvfcag off
their friends. j
Tbe flood often washes away whatj
one has laid up for a rainy day. j
People who haven't much in them
are easily seen through. 1
Some people don't-care ranch about
brains. They are the- people-who don't
know much about them. . j
Tbe man who makes his own Tiring i
easily and quickly doesn't see why any
one should starve to death. J
Passing on the Trouble,
Th5 really truly Joy ride,
Tha kind that make a titt.
Is with a friend for chaoffisua
, Just take my word for ft.
Tou go on sayty aaning
And takins In the view.
And if b has a punotare
Pray what Is that ta youT
Bo many mtsadventurM
May possibly occu-
Theepringing of an axle, ,
' The dropping of a bur.
The fcalkln of the park plug
And littla thing like that .
Need not produce annoy anoe '
Beneath your summer bat.
And if you should so trampla -.1
Into another car
And do a lot of damage
And net an all round Jar
Or bump Into a lamppoit
Or try a hedge to trim
When all Is being fettled
The bill Is up to him.
Ko gasoline to pay for, '
And when you rids afar
And get home In tha evening; 0
He has to clean the. car.
Tea, the ideal joy ride
Built on the only plan
Tou fret when you are-able
To work the other man.
H Fait It. ' .
The strong man bowed his head and
wept Tears trickled along the fur
rows in his cheek and ran dowa the
mihogany legs of the table.
"What is the matter, lave?" asked
his wife, shooing away a fly with a
diamond studded fan. "Has some on
unloaded n bum car of wheat on you?"
"No," he replied frankly; "I am cry
ing because my lifo bai been a fall
"Your life Is no failure," she protest
ed, putting ber arms about him. "Tou
know the Inst time we counted up you
bad ?"S,000,000, and you mu9t have
skinned seteral rivals since then.
"I know," ho replied, "I have some
money, but whnt's the use of that! I
bave never been roasted by tbe maga
zines, so how can you call me a sue"
A Hitter and a
"NTo, but she
manages to con
vey a whole lot."
"How does she
with her fists
with ber elbows."
"What's the matter?"
"I am very unhappy."
"What have you to be unhappy
"I can't think of anything I want' 1
"Were you ever seasick?"
"Well, 1 guess yes."
"I should say so. I bave
seasick I couldn't see."
Quit the Limit.
"They seem to be nice girls."
"But they are so wild."
"Ia that possible?"
"Indeed it U. They eat pickles at all
hours of the night"
Just a Faney.
"Tie does like to bave Lis own way.
"Very much so."
"He can take It out in liking." j
. How He Could Afford It.
"What Is bis busfLess In life?"
"He is a poet"
"I didn't know that he married
Our flMnant aouthern neighbors
Have something of a way
Of miiinjr with their labors
Their special kind of play.
Though they rr.ay atop their lbootm,
I'm very much afraid
They'll go on revolutlnar.
For lan't It their trade?
Lame shoulder Is almost Invariably
caused by rheumatism of the muscles
and yields quickly to tho free appli
cation of Chamberlain's Liniment
This liniment is not only prompt and
effectual, but in no way disagreeable to
use. Sold by all druggists.