Newspaper Page Text
THE ROCK ISLAXP ARGUS, FRIDAY, JULY 28, 1911.
Petflarsed DoOr and We3y at iM
Second arrenne. Rock Iilaad. XH rEa-
Jt the posrtomc m cond-claa
BYT WE J. W. POTTER CO.
TERM& Daily. 1
WnUt. II par yasr la afliranoa.
All oomBaanloatloma of arrnmastettva
character, political or raUdoaa. mast
have raal nam attached for publica
tion. JSo aach articles -will be printed
erar flctltloua sla-nature
Oorr poBfleooa ao 11 cited from '
towmablp la Rock la land eoonty.
JTR APES f iTfSTI COUN C II 2
Friday, July 23, 1911.
Let "better etreeta'
It la the slogan.
be the slogan.
If the Ice machines -will ran oer
Cme during the cool "weather It may be
possible to get past the next heat wave
without a famine.
Secretary of "War Stlmson has In
spected the Culebra cut. Inspecting
the Culebra cut Is always one of the
first duties of a secretary of war.
"Wonder If Uncle Joe Cannon hasn't
a perfectly good second hand loaded
gavel or ax lying around that ne
could lend the speaker of the British
house of commons.
Htnes thought It was a very smart
thing be did when he "put Lorlmer
over," but what Is the reason that
he now wants to divide the respon
sibility with President Taft?
If ex-President Castro only had a
magic carpet and an Invisible cloak
he might land in Venezuela without
danger, but how would he get away
again if he disclosed himself?
It has been discovered that Mark
Twain left a trunkful or manusci '. .s I
which were refused by various maga
zine editors before he had become'
famous. His heirs might make an n !
dependent fortune by permitting the
various magazine editors to engage iu
for the niauu-
The Tom L. Johnson Memorial num
ber of "The Public" jChicago), compi!
ed by Hon. lien T. Cable of this ciiy.
Mr. Johnson s relative and life ion?
friend, contains 52 pages, nearly all cf
which are given over to the reproduc
tion of domestic and foreign press ooni
ments on the life and works of tin?
late mayor of Cleveland. In the trib
utes paid his memory is proof pro.inc !
that who serves the people carves for
himself a monument of iniperiaaalle
In the two years since Massacau
setts -aviugs ba.nks were authorica j
to sell life insurance "over the coun
ter," the two bauks selling such in
surance have issued policies of Use
face value of 1.T50,im""0, collecting m
premiums 'iu;;t year $t;.G26.05. an in
crease of To per cent over the year pie
cediug, and are about to pay to policy
holders a 14 per cent third year divl-
ut-iiu. v inira oick, navin raised tlio
necessary guaranty fund of OitO, '-,
about to bt;:in the fale of insurance. j
I in is ovvu lieid iu.ist be backed by ei.
The True Reciprocity. ; terpi and pluck if it would succeed.
Probably the longest international Both are fascinating occupations, filled
boundary iu the world is that between j with the thrill and sentiment that
the United States and Canada; that is .makes life worth living.
ating two nations.
,. . , . ...
i oiner touiuries are scparau u ,
from each other by natural obstacles. ' ot the world s tndeavor w hich bui'd
such as rivers and mountain chains. ,ne structure from the ground up ev
This line, unmarked and simply i T Ja-V- At night all that represents
ackuow lcilped. has nut in a hundred
years been crossed by a horiile foo'. .
Two kindred nations residing upon
cither bide of it have found other ways
of settling their iuteruatiunal disputes ,
than the arbitrament of the swor.!. j
Common sense ai.d arbitration fcy
agreement have kept the I'nited States
and Canada friendly without any alii- ;
ance offensive and defensive and with- j
out any diplomatic fol de rol. j
The only barrier that has stood be
hasn't been that imaginary border line 1 !e ow"ar whlt was ht?re t0,lay
without a soldier or policeman to guard ! ,s ad """ow. The world movcj
it. It was aa unjust and oppressive I and ne.Wii 'erments more rapidly than
vatem f t.Hff which hn ,WHn,.n..!nl'e strawberries beneath the suns
, , . , .. , . . . , ;
ficvi)rkTf ht h T lrl . i - without )viip
The tirst blow
has been struck to
ward the fnal leveling of that wall.
With this lrrier out of the way the
relations between the two countries
will grow closer acd mere Intimate,
and the w elding together of the people
... v -"i ,t:
will come as a natural eons- queme of
this rather than from any treaty or act
iiiis is me real reciprocity mat gees
back of the mere act of taking off a
few taxes on imports.
.VII Will lie PentocraU in 1012.
Charles Adkins. speaker of the
Illinois house cf representatives and
a candidate for the republican nom-;Jor the events of the morrow ia which
Inalion for governor, s.es the Land- ou will be more interested,
writing on the wall. Mr. Adkins was! 15 a Een7 grind, but the hurnin
ia Springfield this week and in an ' family must be satisfied. It must be
interview with the Springiield Reg- (entertained and It must be interested,
ister expressed the opinion that the! It must mow.
division cf the republican party in j j-
Illinois into faction, would result J INDIANS ARE PROGRESSIVE
a democratic victory at the state eiic- j
uou iu Hi.. iitu iii.eu Muii t
lion or me party ne wouia any mm- i
elf with, he replied:
"I will tell you what I wrote to a
pu: ly uj et ui ixitr ict ctr in. uii. u
I lie t'JLLI.)btU 4aV &r UULC axk UUi Le
lng aked to attend the progressive ;
conference held in Springfield last f gov era meat. This follows the death
-week. I told him that I expected all j of Quacuu Parker, chief of the Co
ot us 'mavericks' would be branded n an. hes, to whom a successor mai
Deneen, 'Merriam' or 'Lorlmer
and that the result would be In the
end that we would all be branded
'democrat, because the democrats
would win In the 1912 election If
this factional flght among the repub
Mr. Adkins sees the trend of Illi
nois political affairs. The demo
crats have insisted that their year
of victory is surely coming, but the
republicans have attempted to keep
up their courage by persistent
whistling. In other years republi
cans, though divided into factions,
have put aside their differences as
the campaign year approached. Now
the Merriam, Deneen and Lorlmer
factions are In a fight to the end.
The end will be, as Mr. Adkins says,
that all will be branded "demo
crats." The factions will unite but they
will unite as democrats for the time
being at least.
The Poet and the Corn.
The erudite editorial . writer too
often dwells on themes massive and
ponderous. In his busy life he turns
to the prosaic rather than the poetic
At times, however, we find a nimble
paragrapher who can pause in the
midst of his duties to recognize the
poetry in the utilitarian and usually
commonplace. While others write of
inches of rainfall and yields of corn
in bushels and acreage, the poet of
the St. Louis Republic attunes his
lyre to King Corn.
Rain on the corn! The dweller In
the city is rapt out of himself at the
words, sings the Republic. We have j
been passing through a time of
drought. The hillsides are yellow In
the scorching wind, and the springs
dry up in the sides of the hills; grain
thriftily comes to head close to
mother earth, and tree leaves fall In
July. The broad leaves of the corn
close to economize moisture and hide
from the pitiless wrath of the sun.
The heavens are black with clouds.
There is heard the diapason of the
thunder and then a soft sound suc
ceeds, an Infinite rustling, the mur
muring cf a thousand caresses. It is
not "that very pleasant sound which
the trees of the foreste doe make
when tliey growe;" it is the noise of
the rain upon the corn.
The broad leaves uncurl; the bay
onets become plumes again. The
earth drinks at every pore; new life
currents start from soil to leaf and
from leaf to soil. The cell-chemists,
overcome, revive and begin their
work of transformation. The white
milk rounds the breast of the indi
vidual gr!n. The nature lover re
joices. The farmer breathes more
easily as he thinks of the payment
on the "woods forty," which comes
due in the fall. In the distant grain
exchange a shock-headed young man
looks at a buzzing machine and
writes something with chalk on a
r.oard. to the enthusiastic delight of
certain rotund gentlemen in panama
hats and linen suits. The very squir
rels in the forest above the cornfield
There i? rain on the corn.
The t'irius ami iho .i'tiapr.
It id not uuuatural that there uould
exist a bond of good fueling, if not, iu-
j uctd guod fellowship, betwteu the cir
cus ami iuo uevtpdper. lnere u A
peculiarly wonderful similarity ia
inauy respects in tne two avocations,
lioth are mirrors leriectuig that whicu
apptals to popular thought. Both a-3
built on the t-bioi;ioa plan. Both
are made up of features de
signed to interest and instruct. Each
tus d the newspaper, are the onlyfe
" '"""-"-" lauiiuvaumoi
a du s hard work and real uru.ugery
must be ioru tiown, and in the iiiorn:i.ij
the loutiuation is lai.l again and an
other suucture arises ouly to be tie
ttroyed with the close of the day.
And so it goes day in and day out.
There is just one difference and it is
iiuiortant. Ia the circus pretty
much the same rouiiue is pursued,
timed to the minute day after day, nd
the same wondrous beauty, the same
; feats and accomplishments go before
! the public, only in different places. But
blazing ravs. What was of interest to-i
uay is oi uo concern to cue puoi.c to-
jiiic rrow. i ne peopie mirsi tor news.
The dead whose graves are watered
witb tears today are forgotten tomor
row and names that were sweet to tbe
car are lobt to memory that is, to th
i nhti. Tt.mrrv If 4a a marl mra TV.a
1 v , , '. . .
;pUthc is eager to see. to hear, to kno .v.
u is lhe desiro lbat he who ruE3
read but te musl tdVe thQ Mw- in
front of him while he runs.
j And so the public must be entertain
ed as well as interested while it runs.
Thus it is with the circus which,
Lcre today and away tomorrow. And
so with the newspaper which is before
you at this moment only to be destroy
ed ere the curtains fall to make way
Petition for Commis
sion Goi crnment.
I The affiliated Kiowa, Comanche and
t Apache Indian tr.bes are not to be
joutd.:ue Ly ibeir w hi:e brothers and
fere etabutitg a comcussion form of
Results of War Game Held by Uncle Sam
Will Be Kept Secret From Foreign Naval Experts.
,:!V. v, '-sis --SO2S '
v.u . . !.-'Pwj.awMPai1a . ci rr t 9 . s - r . j- -.. -ii ycr: .i.-SC
Photo copyright by American Press Association. 1911.
The above picture shows the fore deck of the battleship Michigan, one of the score of battleships which com
prised the. great fleet which participated in the war game of attacking and defending the Atlantic coast. The rival
forces did spleudid work, for which their commanders praised them in reports to Washington. While In the news
paper dispatches victory was claimed for both sides, whether the attacking battleships were theoretically sunk or
the defending craft destroyed will never be made public, as the naval strategy board believes the Information would
be too valuable to foreign nava! experts.
not be elected, though White Parker,
his son, bad been talked of for the
place. Congress will be tsked to ap-
I prove the administration of tribal af
fairs by a proposed business commit
tee or-commission, composed of nine
members four Comancb.es, three Kio
was and two Apaches. The matter
was thoroughly discussed at a coun
cil of the Indians attended by Lieu
tenant Ernest Steclcer. United states
Indan agent, and IJepreseutatve Scott
Ferris of the Fifth Oklahoma congres
sional aietnct. l he commission is to
be composed only of young men, active
and capable in tribal affairs.
For several years, unknown to most
of the Indians, there has been a com
mittee or advisory board co-operating
with the Indian agent. Its members
were Eschitl, Timbo, Mamsookawat,
Comanches; Ahpeahtone, Lucius Ait
san, Kiowas, and Apache John and
Mizizoomdi, A pushes, De Loss Lone
Wolf, Kiowa, and a graduate of Car
lisle, and Wbi'e Tarker, Comanche,
are to be added to the commission.
Among the Indians who mpde speech
es at the council were Comanche Jack,
Ahpenbtone, old Chief Lone AVolf of
the Kiowas and Ie Loss Lone Wolf.
Comanche Jack landed squarely on
the lawyers, saying that thf Co
manches did not waut. a legal repre
sentative, as the money for an attor
ney's salary was merely wasted.
George II nut, the Kiowa interpreter,
wanted laws that would ke p the In
diana apart from gambling and wais
ky, "as far as the east is from the
west." He whacked the Comanches
by saying that they were the worst
u r- u- ......
That the 'vom mission- Idea seems to
le a good thinir iu the administration
of the affairs nf these affiliated tribes
is indicated by a further proposal to
create what is known as a "competen
cy" commission, to t-e composed of
three white business men, chosen by
the secretary of the interior. This plan
is in operation among certain other
Indian tribes. It is intended that this
competency commission, if authorized,
shall pay $10 monthly to each Indian,
iu addition to what he receives fnin
what is called the "grass lease" fund.
This payment among the Kiowas,
Comanches and Apaches would amount
to about $30.ono a mouth, there beiu?
about 3,100 Indians, of whom 1,.V0 are
Comanches. If the tribal fun is in time
should show exhaustion the competen
cy commission then would sell eighty
acres of each I'JO acre allotment to
replenish the fund, leaving a home-
steaJ of eighty acre. Representative
reiorted as favoraig the
These affiliated Indians have a total,
tribal trust fund of S;.X0,0, of which
f 4.500,000 is in the United States treas
ury. Mimmi'i Joka.
"Oh. mamma, the hen Is sitting on
the vacuum cleaner!"
I'ercaps she s only trying to lay the j
dost, dear." Tonkers Statesman.
You want to know that what
you eat is perfectly clean andj
Business Men's Lunch 15c.
We can satisfy you at
1614 2d Ave.
""aiV ajJ 'sr ji S T
- ... rff sw-wrsoc -
Z '- v . K-X .Ai S3 Jt V:.,-. . f
The Argus Daily Short Story
The Truth About Maisie By Agnes G. Brogan.
Copyrighted, 1911, by Associated Literary Press.
The boyish looking young pafetor of
Trinity church frowned darkly and
removed a footstool which stood in his
way in a very unclerical manner,
while the sweet faced old lady who sat
near by folded a letter which she had
been reading aloud.
"Well, David," she asked, "what
shall we do about it?"
"There is just one thing to be done,
of course," her son answered promptly;
"we must send for my brother's child
and ask her to make this her home."
The old lady readjusted her specta
cles and referred again to the letter.
"Iiithard was ambitious to be a great
artist," she said slowly, "and I can
picture the lifelong struggle which
ended only in defeat. But at the last
he remembered his mother.
'Take care of my little girl," he
writes. 'She is an irresponsible,
thoughtless creature, sound and good
at heart. Watch over her, I entreat
you, and use your Influence, If possi
ble, in persuading her to leave the
stage. A letter addressed to her prop
er name, "Miss M. 13. Randolph, Gold
en Butterfly company, New York," wiil
be forwarded wherever 6he may be." "
And so it happened that Miss Ran
dolph, sitting in her dressing room at
the theater a few tljjys later, was band
ed a letter, and her large dark eyes
grew wider and brighter still as she
read this kindly invitation to become a
member of the parsonage household.
"Your grandmother and I will do all
in our power to make you happy," the
note read, and the girl smiled at the
Fiiperseript ion "David Paul Randolph,
pastor of Trinity church, Eastville,
leaned forward and made a little
far-e in the glass, then turned to get a
belter view of the golden wings sus
pended from her sboulders. "My dear
uncle-minister," she confided to her
charming reflection, "I don't really be
lieve you could make me happy in
Telegrams in Eastville were nsually
associated with death or disaster, so
when David Randolph received a yel
low envelope b!s mother waited la
suspense as he read the brief message.
"What is it?" she asked impatiently,
while his puzzled expression changed
to one of amusement.
"The Golden Butterflies have arrived
in New York," he answered dryly, "and
I am to meet 'Maisie' at Eastvlile sta
tion at 9 o'clock tonight."
"Maisie," the old lady repeated
Rain came pelting against the study
windows, and the wind, screeching
down the garden path, threw wide the
A girl stood there in the aper
ture, wearing a fur trimmed scarlet
cloak, whose hue rivaled the firelight;
she tilted back her head in order to
glance from beneath the huge brim of
a plume decked hat.
"You did not hear me knock," she
announced. "I'm Maisie."
The young pastor came forward
quickly "Your telegram has Just
reached us." he explained. "I ex-
peered to meet you on the 9 o'clock
! Maisie laughed. "I intended to leave
i Xew York later," she said. "When
you know me better you will -learn that
the unexpected usually happens where
I am concerned."
With a sudden Impulse the elder wo
man took the other, scarlet cloak and
all, into her embrace.
"Granddaughter don't go back to
i that life." ie said. "Stay and take
your father', place in our home"
The rirl drew in her breath sharply.
"I will stay as long as you wish." she
rer.iied. "if you will like me for taw
So the Golden Butterflies packed up
and left Xew York, while Maisie re
mained at the quiet parsonage. The
hitherto silent house now rang with
her gay songs and laughter, and the
creases and lines which "dull care"
had traced upon the tired pastor's
face ranished. Maisie laid aside the
scarlet cloak and monstrous hat at hi.i
bidding, and with a sigh of regret fold
ed away the orange silk which had
caused such a tumult of criticism
among bis congregation. She even
endeavored to smooth back the riotous
curls which had been her pride and
appeared at church one day with neat
ly banded hair and attired in a gray
gown of severe simplicity. It was
pleapant to remember, as the pastor
went about his duties, that Maisie
would be there to weleomo him when
he returned, and he would hasten his
steps in anticipation. It wus pleasant
also for the old lady to sit resting in
the twilight as Maisie sang the half
forgotten songs ending up. perhaps,
with a very modern burst of ragtime.
But gradually a clond appeared upon
this happy horizon; the girl herself
grew restless and dissatisfied; the
spent afternoons In the city, returning
at evening silent and depressed.
"Do you think," the young minister
asked haltingly, "that it Is the old- life
calling her back?"
Ills mother hesitated a moment.
"David," she said presently,
"did it j
ever occur to ydfi
that Maisie may
have a lover?"
Ills face turned strangely
"You mean" he asked abruptly.
A letter came for her this morning
with the name of a theater stamped
upon the envelope," the old lady re
plied. "Maisie gave a glad cry when
I brought it and ran tip to her romn.
Later she came down and, biddiig me
goodby, left for the city, making no
explanation." The old lady .paused
"Mrs. Thayer saw her coming from
the stage entrance of a vaudeville the
ater after a matinee performance a few
days ago," 6he added impressively.
"She is not acting fair," he ex
claimed passionately. "If she hn
grown tired of our quiet ways why
doesn't she say so? We would not
force her to stay. I am going to find
Maisie now," he cried, "and make her
own the truth."
His mother followed him to the door,
and her voice trembled. "Oh, David,"
she said, "it wiU be bard indeed to
let her go." ;
He was Just in time, no more. The
great crowd came flocking through the
doorways of the theater, and the j
young minister grimly stood waiting j
beneath a sign which informed him ,
that this was the stage entrance. He
was conscious of many questioning ;
glances' from various members of the
company who passed laughingly on j
their way. Maisie came last, and his j
heart hammered painfully as he saw .
her. She carried a &heath of crimson j
roses In her arms, and a distinguished !
locking man accompanied her. She j
stopped la astonishment at sight of j
"You?" she breathed.
"Yes, Maisie," be answered quietly
"I have come to take you Lome." !
She held out her band to the man at ' r
once. "Goodby, Tom." she said gently, j r
then turned to walk obediently at Da- j '
vid's side. Ia silence they traversed
the streets and boarded a waiting
train; then he leaned toward her.
"Oh, little girl." he said earnestly,
"why did yon not tell us yoa longed to
go back to the stage that you were
tired of our simple home life?" j
Ehe looked np at fclm with tear bright i
eyes. "Because." she' answered dis
tinctly. "I have never been on the
stage; because the hours spent In your j
home have been the happiest ones of ;
"My dear niece." he was beginning
when she interrupted him wildly.
"That Is also untrue," she said; "1
am not your niece. Oh. let me tell
my disgraceful story quickly, and
when it is over and you have bidden
me goodby believe that your kindness
has not been wasted, even uron an
Impostor. Can yoa think what it means
to he homeless, utterly friendless?
That was my condition. My father, a j
poor professor of music, left mother
and me years ago to struggle on alone;
she sewed day and night to earn our
bread, while I attended school. When
she died a yesr ago I suddenly realised
my own helplessuess. A mcd-'ste for
whom mother had sewed finally
agreed to give me small parts to em
broider, and it was a happy chance
which led me thus to meet that little
theatrical favorite, that warm hearted
girl, your niece. Marion Randolph.
She kept me busily employed, paying
generously for my work and later de
clared that we had become too neces
sary to each other to be parted, so
we traveled on together, while I made
myself useful to her in various ways.
Marion had a faithful lover, manager
of the yonipany, and when her father
died In Chicago he insisted upon tak
ing care of her at once, and they were
married, with myself the only attend
ant. Soon after came your letter of
fering this greatly admired and pet
ted little actress the shelter of a peace
"Oh, how desperately I wished that
the offer had beeu made to me!
" 'If we might only change places,
Marlon I said regretfully. And In a
moment she was urging, suggesting
delightful possibilities. 'Why not?" she
insisted. 'You will suit them much
better than me. Toinmie can provide
all the home I want. Go for a time,
anyway, and when they have learned
tbe truth, Maisie. they will love you
too well to let you go.
"Marion can persuade, indeed, when
she tries, and, carried away by her en
thusiasm, I recklessly entered Into the
plot and followed the telegram the
had sent, even wearing the clothes she
Maine's voice faltered.
"I have been happy, happy, until my
numbed conscience awoke to reproach
me continually. When the Golden But
terflies came to New York I sought
out Marion, telling her that I must
confess, and she sent a note saying
that if I was determined in my pur
pose she would be waiting, ready to
take me away with her. The mau
whom you saw me with a short time
ago is Marion's husband."
The faltering voice broke into a littlt
"Flease," the girl begged, "do not
tell your mother all until I have gone
She followed the young minister
blindly down the aisle, and when the
train rushed panting on again he turn
ed to her eagerly.
"Oh, Maisie, dear." he said. "Do
you think we could lot you go?"
"Hut I have deceived you," she re
peated wonderiugly. "I nui not your
niece. Do you not understand?"
"I understand many things now," he
replied. "Man can get along without
a niece, little girl. What he really
needs is a wife."
And a little old lady sitting nlone in
the firelight looked up as tbe two fig
ures appeared in the doorway, a sort
of subdued happiness seeming to Infold
them both The girl's eyes shone star
like above an armful of strangely
crushed and drooping roses.
"Maisie," the mother cried, "yoa
have come home?"
"Yes," her son answered Joyously.
"Malsia has come home to stay."
July 28 in American
j 1823 Munusseh Cutler, clergyman, pa.
! triot, pioneer and scientist, died;
J born 17-1.
' li.;:i Commodore William Ri!nbridse,
' a naval oiii er distinsruislx-d ia tbe
j war of l- died; born 1771.
' JSCJJ- William IOWud-s Yaneey, "orig
inal Fix-esslnuist." died: tom l'-Jl.
1S!1- Samii.-i Snd. pnn'-r. !.o lirst
put "The Star Spangled Baliinr"
in type, died; born is.
Tco Much For Him,
' Voltcire could not speak much Eng
I lish. The re;1. son why he refused to
! 6tudy the language Is this: It was
drilled into him that "plngue" was
' pronounced "plaig," which he thought
; very pretty and acceptable. But right
on top of it be was Introduced to
"ague." which h!s teacher said must
I be called "a gue." Finding it linpos
i siblo to reconcile: the difference, b
! went off into a philosophical tantrum
and dropped the study.
A Snap if
Three acres on Eigh
teenth avenue at.d
Five-room hou3e and
barn, good orchard.
If cut into lots will
make 14 lots with
four corner lots. Call
and see owner.
A. G. Cramer
934 Twenty-second St.
Old Phone 1267-Y.
tr M. SMITH
may all te slightly twisted, but
we don't care to have other people
try to follow our crooks and turns.
There Is no time like the present
simply because the present is the only
If marriage is a lottery why do min
isters continue to be a party to It?
When we go on a voyage of discov.
ery we are not hunting for our own
Misfortune Isn't desired, bat It Is
a wise man who manages to profit by
You can't always Judge a man by
tbe quality of bis coat. It may be
Keeping still has seldom got anyone
We much prefer the rP' na
without saying to those who say with
Some men are good natured and oth
ers are bachelors.
Many an Ideal Is hatched out la At
gust that gets frostbitten In October.
If wo could live on thirty ocata
A week, us peraona ilo
Who come to us from foreign parts
And stay a year or two.
We aoon oould be aa rich HJ thay
And of the landlord fme
If we worked on and didn't ppend.
But where would business teT
This U a world of give and take
And not of ealm remove.
If no one bought a spool of thread
The mills yould have to cloee.
If living was on breud and cheese
And other things h cho.ip
Tho men who mado the luxuries
Could put their works to sleep.
In theory It Is very fine
To l'-ud the almilo life,
Eut ono may ronio In contact with
Tho notions of his vtfo.
Sho will not wear th fc.iino old hat
Forever and u duy.
And If her clothes are not In rtyle
There's several things to pay.
The acntlernan of forolsm birth
Who hajt that sort of skill
Muy wavo oct ninety cents or more
From every dollar bill.
But ho la few In qulto a crowd.
If every one would drop
Ills spending' to his barest needs
We'd have to shut up ahop.
"Do you believe in love at first
"You think there la something ta It,
Sure. It Is the only time that I
ever am iu love. The next time I ;
her it's all off." '
"I Just hate Brown."
What are you goin.
to his wedding
"'CniiKe I want to gloHt."
know the girl he's marry-
Her First Cues
tion. "I wonder what
a woman say
wbeu she gets to
"I should not
think uny out
one iiilKht know
that ufler afkln
St. I'eter If her
hat is on straight
sh would usk if
the pU-o Is steam
"Ii he i.. rant?''
i5ut h Lv.-iy overrr.me it."
"Sevf It Lloyd's were to exaioln
hlra Lfiio Miro th'-y would willing
to Udf the riik and injure It for him."
Couldn't Be Otherwise.
"'oii h'iird about no ninny children
la tie tiji;npj having the mump."
"Wt!l. they gave a party for them.'
"It intuit have been a swell aaair."
TXeird ui.oi!t llrown?''
"No. What alMiut him?"
"Go'Cg Into tin- shoe budnei.'!
"Why. how (In-.) that roiiier
"The lust were triplets."
Hia Turn Next.
"Is Mls liink engaged?"
"Yes. Would you liLe to meet ber?"
"Not r.-vw, tben. I will wait till
"Why aro you so poor?"
"B'-causs I have such a rich Imag
ination." Hr Specialty.
"She see its to be a br--zy girl.
"Yes; she ts always putting on airs."
Once living was u very nr.ap,
But now if.r.ri t.ii to Krapl
WltS f'rc;'t lit t!. e:irtti. uritarr,eA
fcilnce Eve .&nsim-d the ap(.l.
The world'n most auccesiful xutlk
fine for bowel complaints 1 Chan
L.rlain' Colic, Cholera and I;iarrh:ie
Itemed. It ban relieved more pitii
and Buffering and saved mo:e live
than any other medicine In use. In
valuable for children and adult. So-?
by all druggltu.