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THE AHGUB. THURSDAY, APKIL 30, 1891.
You've tried Dr. Pierce's
favorite frescnption have
vou and you're disappointed.
'Fhe results are not immedi
And did you expect the dis
ease of years to disappear in
a week f Put a pinch of time
in every dose. You would
not call the milk poor because
the cream doesn't rise in an
hour? If there's no water in
it the cream is sure to rise.
It" there's a possible cure, Dr.
Pierce's Favorite Prescription
is sure to effect it, if given a
You get your one dollar it
c0,ts back again if it don't
benefit or cure you.
We wish we could give you
the vi.ikers' confidence. They
show it by giving the money
back again, in all cases not
benefited, and it'd surprise you
to kiiuw iiuw icw uuiurs are
needed to keep up the refund.
Mild, gentle, soothing and
healing is Dr. Sage's Catarrh
Remedy. Cures the worst
cases fcnmncntly. No ex
perimenting. It's " Old Re
liable." Twenty-five' years of
success. Of druggists.
IV-;'.' VITEO ITH THE GEOGRAPHY OF THIS COUNTRY WIU. OBTAtH
'L UMBLE INFORMATION FROM A STUDY OF THIS MAP OF THE
CMcap, Roct Islanfl & Pacific Byj
To Hired Route to and from Chicago, Joliet, Ottawa
Pc-.ria, La Sa'.le. Molinc, Rock Island, in ILLIXOI3;
I)aveniori, Muscatine, Ottutnwa, Oskaloosa, Dei
JI Incs, Wintcrsct, Audubon, Harlan and Council
r.lufis. in IOWA; Minneapolis and St. Taul, in MIN
KE.OTA; Watcrtown and Sioux FalU, In DAKOTA;
Cameron, St. Joseph and Kansas City, in MISSOURI ;
.ha, Lincoln, Fairbury and Nelson, in NEBRASKA ;
Atchison, Leavenworth, Horton, Topeka, Hutchinson.
V'icl.ita, Belleville, Abilene, Dodge City. Caldwell, In
KANSAS; Kingfisher, El Reno and Mlnco, in INDIAN
TEUr.ITORY; Denver, Colorado Springs and Pueblc.
la COLORADO. Traverses new areas of rii:h forming
ar.u crazing lands, affording the best facilities of inter
c uimuulcation to all towns and cities east and wes
northwest and southn-nt of Chicago aaj to Tajiflc an i
VESTIBULE EXPRESS TRAINS
nil competitors in splendor of equipment,
between CHICAGO and DES MOIVE3, COUSCIi
T.LT'FF.S and OMAHA, and between CHICAGO ani
DENVER. roi.onAI SPRINGS and PUEBLO, via
KANSAS CITV ou.l TOPEKA nnd via ST. JOSEnr.
I'ii'St-ClaM Day Coaches, FREE RECLINING CUAU
CARS, and Palace Sleoiers, with Dining Car 9rvic
Ioe connections at Denver and Colorado Springs wit 3
iU verging railway lines, now forming the new at!
TRANS-ROCKY MOUNTAIN ROUTS
Over which stiperl.Iy-eqiiipped trains run dal'T
THROUGH WITHOUT CHANGE to and from Salt
Lake City. Ogden and San F-mclsco. THE ROC I
INLAND is also the Direct ana Favorite Line to at i
fr im Manltou. Pike's Peak and all other sanitary acd
scenic resorts andciues and minlngdistricts in Colored x
DAILY FAST EXPRESS TRAINS
From St. Joseph and Kansas City to and from all iru
rortant towns. cities and sections in Southern Nebro.sk ,
Kansas and the Indian Territory. Also via ALBEBT
i r.A EOITE from Kanas Citv and Chicago to Water
t"vti. Sioux Falls. MINNEAPOLIS and ST. TAVZ
cinnsctiong for all points north and northwest betwe n
tiit lakes and the Pacific Coast.
For Tickets, Maps, Folders, or desired Info-math in
apply to any Coupon Ticket Office in the United Stat
or Canada, or address
E. ST. JOHN, JOHN SEBASTIAN,
Gen'l Manager, Genl TfcL i Pass. Agt,
Chicago, Minneapolis and St. Pain
Via tha Famous Albert Lea Route.
St. Louis, Minneapolis and St. Paul
Via St. Louia, Minneapolis & St. Paul Shoit Line,
Through Sleepers and Chair Car
KANSAS CITY, MINNEAPOLIS AND ST. PAUL,
PEORIA, CEDAR RAPIDS AND SIOUX FALLS, DAI .
CHICACO AND CEDAR RAPIDS
Via the Famous Albeit Lea Route.
THE SHORT LINE
SPIRIT LAKE T
The Great Iowa Summer Resort.
for Itaihvay and Hotel Kates, Descrlpthe
Famiililets and all information, address
tien'l Ticket aud I'asseiiger Agent.
F0R CHEAP homes;
n line of tills road ii Northwestern lowi,
Southeastern Minnesota and Central Dakot t,
where drouKlit and crop failures are tinknow u
Thousands of choice acres of land yet nnsol I.
Local Excursion rates uiven. tor full inform -tlon
as to prices of land and rates of fare, address
ijen'l Ticket and I'assencer Agent.
All of the Passenger Trains on nil Divisions it
this Kallwav are heated by steam fnun the
engine, and (lie Main Line Day Passenger Trail is
are lighted with the Electric Light.
Maps, Time Tables, Through hates and all la
forniation furnished on application to Agents.
Tickets on sale over this route at all proniine it
points In the Union, and by its Ageute, to iJl
parts of the United States and Canada.
BtFor announcements of Excursion Ran a,
and local matters of interest, please refer to tte
local columns of this paper.
i. J. IVC. J. C. HANNCCAN,
Pna't OooM Rapt. Gen'l Tkt. Pm. A ft
CKDAR RAPID. IOWA.
A BIRD THAT IS A FAVORITE DE
SPITE MANY FAILINGS.
Parrots Are Pet Only in Civilized Coon,
trie Tlie Small Boy's Recollections of
the Bird Are Generally Franght with
Sore Parts or Anatomy.
The advent of the parrot into private life
Is contemporaneous with the emancipation
of women. It is only a pet in so called civ
ilized countries. The Backs of Australia,
the Maori of New Zealand, the negro of
the Congo, the natives of central and
northern South America had simply used
the bird for food and its feathers for orna
ment. Some unknown woman of the Cir
cassian race must have found that it made
more noise than herself, told tales on her
husband and then the trade began.
To many people nowadays the parrot is a
bird of one's earliest reminiscences. The
bird had not its domicile in one's own
home, but it formed one of the pets of a
maiden aunt, a woman to be well thought
of and respected, and it was instilled into
the youthful mind, however mischievous
it may have been, that no jokes were to be
played within the walls of her well kept
house. In furtherance of these commands
you were fool enough to say "pretty poll"
and scratch the bended head, aud then,
looking curiously round the room, scratch
the bird's eye, the next moment leaving a
part of your linger and finger nail in the
These old maid birds are generally pious
and are much more cared for than the
housemaid, but sometimes they end in evil
ways. The parrot that the pious aunt of
Verrisopht Boomershine gave him when
alxiut to join his regiment, in the hope of
keeping that worthy youth from the pit
falls of military life, was chockful of good
Biblical advice, but Verrisopht wen- on
leave, and the parrot was taken to the bar
rack room, whence it came back the most
blasphemous of birds.
Profanity it took kindly to, and so
shocked the maiden aunt during an unex
pected visit to the barracks that, had she
not died before she could alter her will,
Verrisopht would have been left a poor
IX THEIB HAUNTS.
The parrot from its birth is a noisy bird.
The bird in its nest makes more noise than
a dozen toucans, and when old enough to
join in the flights that every morning and
evening cross the tropical forests joins in
the squawking chorus that can be heard
nearly a mile away.
But there are parrots and parrots. The
little love bird gives up its life to a small
twitter and "just to kiss aud kiss and kiss
again," while the royally robed macaw or
white plumed, yellow crested cockatoo
spends its life in noise and battle.
There is one good thing to be said for the
parrot, and that is tha it will always go
to its brother in distress. Whether from
curiosity or kindliness who can tell?
Should you wound a parrot you may be
certain of a good lag. As you hear the
next flock approaching press the wounded
bird with your foot. The cries attract the
other birds, and they circle round giving
one some capital shots. It sounds a little
cruel, but then the larder must be supplied,
In captivity, however, they are strange
birds, the larger numbers only admirable
for their plumage and hornbiy aggrava
ting for the noisy monotony of their voices.
But some undoubtedly are amusing for
their mimicry and the affection they show.
AVhat man has traveled abroad and has not
seen the parrot, apparently monarch of all
it surveyed, wandering with its sidelong
gait about the floor of the house and
climbing every chair, making free of the
iobe of the ear of the visitor and, missina
the accustomed earring of its mistress,
drawing blood from the guest who foolish
Jy wanted to make himself agreeable.
However sleepful a man may be, if fate
should lodge him in a house where this
bird is a per he must make up his mind to
rise nt early dawn or lie ia bed aud silently
bless the nuisance,
rAKKOTs ON SIIIMjOACD.
Once the writer was a passenger on a
steamer bound from West Africa to Liver
pool. It was computed there were 13.00C
Congo parrots on lioard, besidts monkeys
of all sorts and descriptions. As it was
summer the birds were brought up from
the forecastle every morning in theit
cages, often containing fifty, and placed
here, there and everywhere. What with
the jabliering of the monkeys and the
tuneless squawks of the parrots, one might
have thought himself in a deeper, darker
Africa than Stanley ever crossed.
But there were some funny episodes too.
Some among the passengers, deluded ones,
were taking home educated birds. An
army doctor had a sapient bird, who al
ways on his approach diagnosed its mas
ter's character by saying, "I see you, you
old rascal." This bird bad been given in
charge of the ship's butcher, and one day
the butcher, wearing a sorrowful face,
brought the defunct jet to the doctor.
A day or two before reaching Liverpool
the doctor determined to buy a new bird,
and went forward, when from amid the
mass of pnrrotdom rose the old familial
cry. It was a bad quarter of an hour for
the butcher. The doctor got back his pet.
There was another bird on board that was
a terror to the ship's doctor. It3 cage hung
near the hitter's cabin, and it learned the
servant's oft repeated cry, "The rtpctor
wants a glass of gin." New York Tribune.
Hi;? Skating Ponds.
In exceptionally cold winters Loch Lo
mond, in Scotland, being sufficiently shal
low, becomes so frozen over as to bear
skaters and curlers, and it is twenty-four
miles long and four miles at its greatest
width. The largest pond soonest frozen
over, nnd of the greatest area, is Fleet
pond, with an area of 300 acres, which will
accommodate from 70,000 to 120,000 skaters
with safety. The Serpentine has had over
50,000 skaters on it at one time, while Dud
dingstone loch, near Edinburgh, accommo
dates 50,000 when fully f rozAi over.
The lake of Zurich, which is about GOO
feet deep, and covering about forty squaVe
miles, has been ocasionally frozen over.
On Jan. 25, 179, it had ice four inches
thick iu the ceuter. The western parts of
the Baltic have been frozen on ten recorded
occasions, the first in 1294, the last in 1707.
Holland, every year, when the frost is se
vere, presents such a proportion of frozen
waters for skaters as no other country of
Europe possesses. London Tit-Bits.
From His Standpoint.
Wentman I've heard him spoken of as
a very loose young mau.
Cassimeer the tailor (catching at the idea)
I'm By George, his cloUma don't fit
him! American Grocer.
Drawing the Line,
Landlady (trying to start the conversa
tion) Are you fond of the antique, Mr.
New Boarder (suspiciously) Um-er not
at table. Good rsews.
THOU SHALT NOT.
Rw Patient Long SaOrlng Humanity
Is Badgered with Signs.
At the first breath of summer good old
Dame Nature rolls up her sleeves, takes
ner huge earthen bowl with its mass of
sweltering humauity into her capacious
lap, ana gives the contents a few vigorous
turns wit h her silver spoon. For these be
Much of the heterogeneous mixture ia
dashed against the remotest confines of the
receptacle; but the greater part, despite the
good dame's herculean efforts, quietly re
volves about the center of the bowl.
Whether it be far or near, whether the
summer pilgrim eddies about his own pool
or is borne to distant shores, somebody has
anteceded him. Some tyrant has issued
his mandate. No tresoassing upon fields
or conventionalities that is the order of
the. day. Visitors are "requested," some
times "kindly;" guests are "forbidden,"
"prohibited," "cautioned;" travelers are
In hotel offices men are met with the
command, "Keep Your Feet Down." Pas
sengers, irrespective of sex, on Pacific
coast steamers are confronted with the
placard, "Do Not Go to Bed with Your
And what shall be said of that Joe Mil
lerism, ."Keep Off the Grass" an injunc
tion which menaces the happiness of child
hood and even fills mature souls with a
modicum of gloom?
Sometimes a pun is thrust upon us, such
as, "He who expectorates here must not
expect to rate as a gentleman."
One's breeding is also challenged in the
following, "Gentlemen will not mutilate
the newspapers; others must not."
A supply store in Ieadville once bore the
legend, "If you have business with this
concern, come in; if not, not."
A Seattle architect has the following in
structions posted over the door of his
private office: "No admittance. Keep out."
The brute creation is included likewise
in this pseudo decalogue. Dogs and cats
are "not allowed" or "expressly forbidden, '
and canary birds are incontinently ban
ished from certain quarters.
Perhaps the most unique and exhaustive
signs I have encountered are the following,
which can lie found at Spanish Fort, New
"Notice! Avoid all use of Coarse and
Vulgar Language. It is not the Style this
Season to Pretend to have Imbibed some
thing stronger than Soda Water or Ginger
Ale. The Latest Fad is to act in the Pres
ence of Others' Mothers and Sisters as you
would have Others act in the Presence of
"Notice! Do not stir up the Alligators.
Be Satisfied with Looking at them. Keep
your Canes and Parasols for their Legiti
mate Uses. When your Desire for Mischief
is too Strong to Resist, be careful that a
Police Officer does not see you. Police Sta
tion over There: Ef." De Witt C. Lock
wood in Kate Field's Washington.
The London Hoy,
What are these creatures shambling up
the crescent luese are two message boys.
And who is that troglodyte roosting on the
railing? That is Drake's boy waiting on
Peel's boy and Smellie's boy. Why'does
he wait? Because he never travels alone;
secondly, because he has infinite time. Do
they shake hands when they meet? No;
Drake's boy puts out his foot and trips up
Peel's boy. What does Peel's boy do? He
rises in haste and smites him with a leg of
mutton. Are they now enemies? No;
these are proofs of attachment. After
burnishing the leg of mutton they sit down
to discuss the universe i. e., the street,
the pantomine. and one Kidd, a pirate.
Why does Smellie's boy go oil by him
self and yell? If he did not do that he
would burst. He does uor. know he is yell
ing. Why does he lay down his basket
and dance? Hush; do not betray him. All
boys do that when they are nlonf. Does
he look ashamed if you s.-e him? Xo; boys
never look anything. Will he come to if
yo leave him? Yes; ho will whistle pres
eutlv and calm down. How much does he
get for thiJ" Four ;nid si nerj'.-f a. wpHj.
This boy is accounted lor by the evolu
tion theory. His father was primitive
tojin. It is oulv b'.'ing in a town and his
misprouunciution that, makes yon think
he is not a savage. What he represen ts is
capacity; he is clay, dough, putty. This
boy cannot us yet walk straight, or dress
lietter, or brush his hair. He i not good.
He is not bad. He has no soul. lie has
not even soap. He is simply boy, pure, un
washed, unregenerate bo3 Good AYords.
That Was All.
The masculine mind is not always readier
to grasp a situation than is the feminine.
Women lire said to be unbusinesslike, and
yet they are sometimes able to smile at the
unpractically displayed "over the way."
A young lady one day went to inquire about
the price list to be observed at a certain
hall during the approaching season of a
celebrated lecturer. About thirty people
were standing in line to buy tickets for an
inferior but' popular course, and she took
her place with them.
On reaching the box office she made her
inquiry, and the ticket seller auswered
hastily, pushing her a programme, "The
fifth page of this will tell you."
Leaving the line, she turned to the page
in question, and found that, although it
gave the ordinary prices of seats, it did not
say whether an advance would lie made in
the case of the one eminent speaker.
Meanwhile twenty more people had taken
their places lefore the window, and almost
at their head was a young man of her ac
quaintance. He would solve her difficulty,
and she need not wait her own turn.
"Would you be willing to aslj what the
prices will be for Mr. S ?"' she said, ap-
"I shall be so much obliged!"
"His opportunity came, aud presently he
turned and approached her, his face ani
mated by a consciousness of kindness per
formed. "He says the prices will be just the
same," was the etieerful announcement,
"onlv higher!" Youth's Companion.
How Victoria Proposed.
Apropos of royal marriages I heard a
pretty story concerning that of Queen Vic
toria the other day. On the day that the
young queen announced to parliament her
betrothal to Prince Albert,' her aunt, the
Duchess of Gloucester, asked her if she
had not felt greatly embarrassed on that
occasion. "Not half so much, dear aunt,"
was the reply, "as I did when I asked Al
bert if he would accept my hand." For a
female sovereign by royal etiquette must
propose to the gentleman of her choice, no
prince being considered of sufficiently ele
vated rank to approach her as a wooer.
Cor. St. Louis Post-Dispatch.
A Portable Ovation.
1 Harper Somebody told me that Rialto
Loeffer was making a big thing out 3f his
comic opera carries his audience with him
Carper He does. He takes his own or
chestra and ushers everywhere. Pack.
JJ JLU T T
We have just
.SlWe invite everybody to
Wigwams ! Wigwams!
Our Spring Stock of Ladies fine and medium
priced Oxfords are now ready for
Our Oxfords are first-class; our prices are from
25 to 30 per cent, cheaper than elsewhere.
Our stock speaks for itself.
WE GIVE YOU $ I
ItnnarlA & tni I liant transparency to the skin. ft
I mores lt uimnlca. freckles and discoloration- For
I sale bj all nr-rc-clnst ftrutrfd"ta or mailed tor M eta,
In fampa b
SCHOOL OF .'em0e
ICICCDIDUV VALBNT1NB BROS.,
received the first shipment of our
FOR THE EARLY-
Spring season of
call and examine them.
The Pioneer Clothier and Hatter,
115 and 117 West Second Street, DAVENPORT, IA.
The Old Reliable Shoe
J. T. T3IXOJST,
" And Dealer in Mens' Fine Woolens.
1706 Second Avenue.
t JCX J-ik3.
new stock ot
1622 Second Avenue.
i i:. '::vi