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THE ARGUS. TUESDAY. JAN IJ Alt Y 19. 1892.
" J. M. BEAKDSLEY,
-WEY T LAW-oSce with J. T. Ken
JA( KS0N & HURST,
vrvsATLAW, Ofllco in Rock Island
k B-ilMlnB. Ko-k I-l.nd. 111.
"" " vn ENEY & WALKER,
,.,v-n VD COUNSELLORS AT LAW
.Vton'i Moca, Krck Uland, 111.
-""scEMRY 4 HcE.MRV,
......i-.ii t i.aW Loin money on eood
A! .rtv nrt'k" collection. Reference. Mitch
office In Poxtofflc block.
(..4 ''''' ' ..I
,.,v KVE'-V EVKN'INO at Cramptoti'e
pV , - V :! F:" c,-":" "!r c"I'y'
' J. ?. KYE3S, 14. D.,
Phvsician n Surgeon
r 4 ; . . 1 1," ' ' c Td Wcv R -ok Inland.
v r i rt -vo ana riiiffi.tu nrwu
,. , ti v; m. n 1 8 to 5 i. m.
T, i-'i i.'r.-irt"d without pa'n by the new
" 'o. 1'.17 Second avenue. Kock Inland.
GEO. P. STAUDUHAR,
"ri- '' i"r:'it- iri.'iiw for all clns of
... -;; .,,! -.-, Mil In- I Jt I.ynde building
ta'kk I'Li Vatoi;.
DRsTbTcKlL & SGH0L&1AKER
jj.i,,: & Ljr.de's Block. Rooms 29-81.
E. M. PEAROE,
A brilliant array of holiday
Rich I:ancy Goods,
And a. bewildering array of
I choice NoreUies for
Christmas and New Years,
Durio; the past three mouths
R. CRAMPTON & CO.
The Rock Island Booksellers,
Have benn getting ready for the
bij-st trad ever done
in their store.
-ALL KINDS CF-
Crt Troi Work
i!'"-.- A ;.i:rn'j or fnrnlshlne M. kinds
of Stoyes with Car Unpr at 8 oente
A MACHINE SHOP
ii boo? ad.led where all kind? of macUlne
work will be done flrat-claea.
XINTH ST. AN1 7th A VE.
DOWNING BROS., Propts.
Leave Your Orders for
Moincr Eleventh street nd Tenth avenue.
T.lrphene No. lia).
H. F. LAMP Manager.
No. 1724 THIRD AVE.
A. M. & L. J. PARKER,
Wiirt-cla wjrk andpsrial attention to
r .mm aniTCrT.
R'No rs cp,
Telephone No. 1214
jst R 0 F. ! Err EN BACH'S
U;t GVE lor SEHINAl, HSftVOt'S
'JK'.KaRV TfiCl!3LtS in KOiiNB,
MI00LE-AQFO 0L0 Will. Nu
v. .. V
i i inriitH ffltliU.A nu. nd UHStfi
TAltHY OS 3!AF,'-JI(TM':HT,t.iitfoii.
ll 'ctT rll.-T.-. th wc.r.t ni.i in H t-oun,
an 1 P'mv.eniT c".-c ir. tyt.-lnir.. laara
fcj return mil: fnr 1. '-frcitn' frf.
Hi, . -M
APPEARANCES ARE DECEITFUL.
tleTTas Advised to I.ooK Out Tor a Slick
One and He Ki.l.
Tlirre was a pretty o! I and a pretty
verdant looking man at tho Third strett
depot the other diiy with tlireo hours to
wait for his train, and ly an by he ap
proached Officer Buttf n and said he
gtiessod he'd wander around for a spell.
"Well, look out for jourself," replied
I here s always sin k fellows about.
"Yas, I 'spose thar is, tut I shan't let
nobody fool me."
lie was gone about ai hour, and when
he retnrned he showed the officer a bank
cheek for $200 and ask d:
"Does that seem aJJ right to you:
"Right? Of course tot. It's a check
on a Buffalo kink signed John Smith.
It's a dead fake, of con -se."
"Fake! Fake! Whut's a faker"
"You've been faked: 1 expected you'd
get into tronblo when you went out of
here! Seems singular that you can't
talk common sense into some people."
"Then the check i no good':"' asked
the old man.
"Why, of course not How much did
yon lend on iiV
"I give him twenty-!':vo dollars."
"Well, you've been confidem-ed, and
now you'd better go and sit down and
"Is that what they cull a confidence
"Well, I thought so all the time."
"Then what did you lot hint wal
with vonr moncv for':'"
"1 didn't, you know. He started to go
font 1 grabbed linn by
and Lacked him t:p
.i . ... . .
tie uei-K. ltl-co this,
avrain a wall, like
his old pistil and
this, and 1 pulled out
laid the bar'l on his u
that money quickcr'n
Tho old man il!u-
se and I.e give up
case in i
tho most vigorous manner, ev ;i to lay
ing on tho bar'l. wiiic i was a. portion of
a weapon seemiTiglv llfty years old.
"So you got your money':" asked tho
officer, as lie g. ! his n M-k loose from the
old man's grip.
"Uot er nr.;
pocket, safe a -.
time have 1 g.
"Wall. I gr..
else who don'! ;
show with old ;
ter than live:..
I'm a kiichen r
dev. n in my breeches
li;r.- much morj
e anolher little
if I'll meet soniebo.Iy
hi:t I run a bMe
11 cc-'s circus fur Let
a rs. and who thinks
f.i'-s to roost on."
Iii o lfnrm.
Mrs. O'F. ' '.m I have my husband
put in jail for ! ippin me in the mouth?
Magistrate ;Jcrtainly; that is assault
"Well, I'll coino around in about a
month and make tho charge."
"Why not have him arrested at once?"
"Well, you see, when he slapped me I
hit him on the head with a rollin pin,
and he's now in- the hospital, and the
doctors says he won't bo able to get out
fer a mouth yet." L.ife.
"I tim sorry, Mr. Pcrcollum. lint I shall
not need yonr servi.-es after this week,"
said tho editor of T le Mom lily Sparkler.
"1 was alwnt to- make tho same re
mark, sir," replied Mr. I'ercollum. "My
uncle has bought this magazir .i and
given the mana ,'enent of thina- : me.
Yon will not neel my service Mr.
Abel, but 1 shall ue d yours. How would
an advance of fifty dollars :: month in
your salary strike you':"
Tho author of this beautiful and
touching little stor sends a note with
it explaining that 1 e has tried it on sev
eral other papers, r nd all have rejected
it as too wildly alx-urd and improbable..
At t!.c rinb.
Commodore Naylor Where's Bob this
Tlirockmorton FTo told me that a cir
cumstance over which he had no control
would prevent hi? lieing with us to
night. C. N. Probably he meant his wife.
Smith &- Gray's M onthly.
George Whew! What can be the
matter? Telegram says, "Come home
George (rushing into his suburban
borne, one hour later) TV.ll me quick,
my dear. What is it?
Young wife The bahv wid "Ma'ma."
Nut Kntirrly Sure.
Fattier Well, Tommy, how do yon
think you will lite this little fellow for
Tommy (inspecting the new infant
omewhat donbtf nlly) Have we got to
keep him, papa, or is he only a sample?
Allowed to Vote.
Election Inspector (severely) Sir, have
you ever read the constitution of the
Naturalized Cit iznn No. Have you?
Election Inspector N o. New York
Her ( jtportnnity.
'Tin when we're si -k or sore rlistresfied.
tVhen pain or sorrow racks and tobea oa.
That Rentle woman seems tier best;
Attentions fat on us are pressed.
We're ruddled, r .isptod and caressed
But. holy Moses 1 low she bosses us!
A BAAY'S DIARY.
I at First but Ho Soon
First Week As near as I am able to
judge from appearances my arrival baa
kicked np quite an excitement in the
I household. 1 have been weighed and
the figures were given at eight pounds.
1 nave also been carefully inspected and
have been pronounced sound in wind and
limb. It's a go as far as I am concerned.
My young dad seems to bo tickled
half to death. When he heard 1 was
a boy he went out back of the house and
' jumped on his hat for joy. If 1 don't
make hira jump for some other cause
before I get over this redness of complex
ion then you may play marbles on my
Second Week Nurse is here yet and
I'm on my good behavior. She looks
to rae like a woman who wouldn't take
much sass from a youngster, and I don't
want a row until my miu-cle works up a
little more. Several parties in to see
me, and I had to listen to the usual con
gratulations. Some talk of bringing me
up on a bottle, but I'll have something
1o say about that later on. I'm lying
low and taking things easy. Dad is still
walking around with n grin on his face.
When lie remarked that 1 was just the
quietest and most good natured baby in
all Chicago 1 came tuv.r giving myself
dead away. There's a surprise in storo
for that hayseed, and it'll hit him like a
load of brick.
Third Wee k Everything so-so. Nurse
goes Saturday night. She brags about
what a little darling I am, but she's talk
ing for wages. I'm quite sure she mis
trusts me. Pcoplo keep coming in to
paw ma over and look at my feet. Tho
general verdict is ahem! that I'm just
the cutest, handsomest yonng'un ever
born. That's all bosh, however, and
I'm not at all stuck on my fclmpe.
They allowed dad to carry lae around
a few minutes last evening, and you'd
! a-thought he owned the earth. He said
I he could walk with me for a week, and
I 1 just gurgled. Iio'li drop to something
; before lie is a week older. 1 haven't said
'much thus far, but I've done a heap o'
thinking just the sumo. I don't propose
I to take advantage of the baby act much
longer. Had a row with the nurse and
had to give in. Beaton, but not con
quered. 1 Fourth We -k I t.,'. 1 von I'd do it and
I did! Tho iii,:.
took up tl!-lt
dad, rnd a!on
morning he v.
ever saw. 1 d.
ht iifter tho nurse left 7
ur.iiui-hcd business with
; a'oo.-t 1 o'clock in the
as the sickest man you
dn't want to kill him in
one night and so saved some of him over
for the next. Colic, yon know. All
babies have if and I wasn't going to be
left out. Kicks, squirms, wriggles, yells,
with dad trotting up and down until ho
finally shook Ids list under my noso and
hoped I'd die.
Then I let up a ln'le, but I've got a lot
more colic saved np. The happy grin
has quite vanished from his face and
they say he ha-s lost live pounds. That's
all right. 1 propose to take a hand in
from this time on. If tho old man gets
out to lodge or a checker party again
this winter you just ask me how it hap
pened. Fin keeping the rnn of things
under the proper dates, and now and
then ni dish you up half a column or so
and let you know who's running the
house. Dad may go any day next week,
but as for mo I've come to stay. Chi
No Smnpiif nk Tlirr-.
"Yon don't have stewed prunes here
evory day, do your" asked the new
boarder of Hunker, as tho two left the
"Oh, no," replied Hunker. "Mrs.
Small serves a good variety. We had
6tewed prunes today. Tomorrow we
shall be likely to have prune pie; next
day prune sauce: then prune turnover,
followed by prune meringue and prune
rolls. Oh. no; there's no sameness here!"
' Frequent and constant advertising
brought me all I own.' A. T. Meffhrt.
1mes child birth easy.
Colvin, I,a Dee. 2, 1888. My wife used
MOTHER'S FEIEND before her third
confinement, and says she would not be
without it for hundreds of dollars.
Pent by rxpr-:: on receipt of price. $1.50 per bot
tle, book " 1 o Mothers " mailed free.
BRAOFIELO REGULATOR CO.,
ron Bftue av ALLOnucotST. ATLANTA, GA.
SOLD tY H4S1Z & E4EK8EN.
is and Till ever be the
rat. Influenza. Backache.
Pains in the Side. Chest and
Joints, neuralgia, Sprains, &c
Bafbre yon seed to ony, obtain
FREE OF CHARGE -Wl
the valuable book) "Guide to Health," wKlt
endorsement oi promineat pujraiaumai
European Honiiesi EndolBt&cit,LfmdorV
B Kuranibenr. Eonatein, IieiDaio.
2 50 Cents a bottle, For Sale byj
That Looks Impossible !
But it is the Truth!
Our entire stock of Clothing and Gent's Furnish
ing Goods has to be sacrificed regardless
of cost, as we will positively
QUIT THE CLOTHING BUSINESS.
115 and 117 West Second Street, DAVENPORT, A.
Are selling THIS WEEK a splendid boys lace
shoe for $1, worth $1.50.
Tmp.irWii nllianttraniurcnt-rtothvKkJB. Rev
S mnrwt oil pminlffL ln"ki? aiid diwormtion. For
I sale by sul hrt-r!iits druir)7i'Ui, or nuaitK fur SO cts.
in stamps bj
J. a. rozzoA
NSspapxb Advebtibiho Btjbeatj (10 Bprace
We have the
.BOSTON STORM RUBBERS:
both ladies and
J. T. DIXOJNT
And Dealer in Mens Fine Woolens.
1706 Second Avenue
1622 Second Avenue
&a i. forth,
US 8f AUi.ST.. iJ"AUHU WIS
'ir ii irii fMnniiiaiid