Ventnor news., July 23, 1924, Page TWENTY-FOUR, Image 24

About Ventnor news. (Ventnor City, N.J.) 1907-1926

Image provided by: Rutgers University Libraries

                
' WINDY
k WOLF
SAYS
%
At dinner the other evening,
some Ventnor men were discuss
ing the merits of different kinds
of game birds. One preferred
canvasback duck, another wood
cock, another thought a quail the
most delicious food. The discus
sion and the dinner ended at about
the same time.
“Now, George,” said one of the
men to the waiter at his elbow,
“what kind of game do you like
best?”
“Well, suh, to tell the truth, al
most any kind of game suits me,
but what I likes best is an Ameri
can eagle served on a silver
dollar.”
* * *
Papers recently carried a story
to this effect: Cavalry horses will
hereafter be marcelled and mani
cured with a vacuum cleaner in
stead of with the conventional
currycomb and brush. It is claim
ed ten minutes per horse or mule
can be saved each time the critter
is slicked up. Two wonderments
immediately occur to a Morris
Guardsman. First, as to how
kindly a mule will take to having
his hind legs vacuum cleaned! and
second, what do the officers pro
pose to have the privates do with
the ten minutes per critter saved?
* * *
The Atlantic County school
board was visiting a school and
the principal was putting his
pupils through their paces.
“Who signed Magna Charta,
Roberts?”.he asked, turning to one
boy.
“Please, sir, ’twasn’t me,”
whimpered the youngster.
The teacher, in disgust, told him
to take his seat; but an old tobac
co-chewing countryman on the
board was not satisfied, so, after
a well-directed aim at the cus
pidor, he said: “Call that boy
back, I don’t like his manner. I
believe he did do it.”
* * *
Jones had been entertaining a
city relative, who desired to do a
few chores on the farm by way of
exercise.
First time you ever milked a
cow, eh? asked Jones one morn
ing. Well, you do it 100 per cent
better than most city fellows do.
It seems to come natural, some-1
how, explained the city youth. I
have had a good deal of practice
with a fountain pen.
With one sweep of my strong
arms I lifted her from her feet
and crushed her to my breast. My
nervous hands encircled her
silken neck, she snuggled close
against me, and felt the passion
ate throb of my heart in the ex
:itement of th'e crucial moment.
Ah, Birdie! You are mine! I
:ried as I coolly placed .her neck
across the chopping block and
signaled Maw Wolf to let the axe
fall.
* * *
A girl at the public library in
quired if “The Red Boat” was in.
I don’t think we have the book,
she was told.
“H. G.” Sparkling
GINGER ALE
10 Oz. Bots., $1.50 Doz.; Case, of 2 Doz., $2.90
16 Oz. Bots., $1.80 Doz.; Case, of 2 Doz., $3.50
"H. G.” Sparkling Ginger Ale, in icy cold condi
tion, will do much toward making you forget the
discomfort and enervating influence of the hot sum
mer days.
“H. G.” Ginger Ale is refreshing and exhilarating—
a genuine thirst quencher most people term it.
MITCHELL FLETCHER CO.
Phones: Marine 2934; 2935 ATLANTIC & MORRIS AVES.
(Main Office and Warehonsei Eighteenth and Cfceetnat St*., rkik.)
Chart* Account* Solicited
1009 BOARDWALK
(Opp. Steel Pier)
MAH JONG
$2.00 up
RACKS
$1.50 up
Real Stone Bead
Necklaces
Platinum, Gold and Silver
Oriental Jewelry
Japanese and Chinese
Objects of Art
Oh, excuse me, said the girl. I
made a mistake. The title is “The
Scarlet Launch.”
After a search, the library as
sistant reported that no book with
that title was listed in the card
catalog.
But I am sure you have the
book, the girl insisted and pro
duced a slip of paper on which
something was written. Then she
blushed. Oh, I beg your pardon,
she said, It’s “The Ruby Yacht”
by a man named Omar I Want.”
W * *
Why the Joneses Bought the
Car they Did.
Because the salesman: Laughed
at Mr. Jones’ jokes, told Mrs.
Jones she couldn’t have a daughter
that old. Told Susie Jones she
looked like Mary Pickford, Told
Willie Jones he had a build like
Dempsey. Said the Jones baby
took after both parents, And only
smiled when the Jones pup nipped
him. '
St. James Church
Plans Lawn Fete
Affair Early Nest Month Prom
ise. to Rival Those of
Ocher Years
Elaborate preparations are
again being made for the annual
lawn fete of the St. James
Church, of Ventnor, to take place
August 20, 21, 22 and 23.
The Rev. Gregory Moran, who
is chairman of the committee on
arrangements, and Mrs. Harry
Farrell, who is secretary, both
feel confident that the success of
last year will be surpassed.
The fancy goods table is al
ways a big attraction and this
year Mrs. Grace Hogan, as chair
man, and Mrs. Herman Salus, as
assistant, are already hard ”t
work collecting novelties of all
kinds. The cake table is another
place which rarely wants for sup
porters. Mrs. Hugh McCarron
will direct this booth. The fern
table, in charge of Thomas
Hogan, and the blanket table, in
charge of Mr. Hastings, both
promise something novel.
Mr. Datz, assisted by Mr. ,T.
Mitten and Mr. R. Downey, prom
ises a few surprises in his house
furnishing booth. There is also
to be a grocery stall presided
over by Garney Lee, and a bal
loon booth of which James J. Mc
Brearty is in charge. Last, but
not least, is the candy booth
which Mrs. John Lennon will have
charge of.
ASHER
12 S. IOWA AVENUE
The Only Atlantic City
UNDERTAKERS
WITH THEIR OWN
ESTABLISHMENT
IN PHILADELPHIA
Atlantic City Phi la.
Marine 6610 Poplar 7890
STEEL PIER
CASINO HALL—DAILY
Health and Beauty Lectures by Dr. Peter L. Lersch
Personal Representative of BERNARR MACFADDEN. Father of Physical Culture
JUST back from a lecture tour of the United States, Dr. Lersch’s inspir
ing health talks are veritable gold mines of priceless health and beauty
information.
At his lectures in Atlantic City he will give
you the benefit of his vast experience. From
a background of thousands of health ques
tions asked him by multitudes of men and
women everywhere, he will lecture to you on
the most vital and interesting problems of
everyday life. Among the subjects covered
are food, exercise, reducing weight, gaining
weight, bathing, care of the skin, teeth, hair,
scalp, eyes—everything that has to do with
health and beauty.
I
Assisting Dr. Lersch
BERNARR MACFADDEN
Father of Physical Culture
The man who is spending thou
sands of dollars to spread the
gospel of health throughout
America.
EDMUND T. SIEMSEN
Prize winner at Madison Square Garden
Physical Culture Show and Atlantic City
Pageant, whose classic poses and exhibitions
have been declared by theatrical managers
to be more beautiful than any classic or stage
dancing they have ever seen.
Dr. Peter L. Lersch
Bernarr Macfadden’s special
representative, who has delivered
more than 1500 health talks in
principal cities of the United
States.
» Edmund T.
Siemsen
Prize winner at Physi
cal Culture Exhibition,
Madison Square Gar
den, and at Atlantic
City Pageant.
Right is Dr. Lersch,
Mr. Siemsen and Miss
Holzkom, taken on the
Boardwalk, Atlantic
City, January 7th, last,
proving that the Physi
cal Culture life builds
men and women for
whom the elements
have no terrors.
Three Lectures Daily
11:15 A. M. WOMEN ONLY
2:30 AND 8:15 P. M. MEN AND WOMEN
VESSELLA’S CONCERT BAND
ORESTE VESSELLA, Conductor
11:00 A. M. and 8:45 P. M.
MURPHY’S MINSTRELS—3:30 and 8:45 P. M.
MOTION PICTURES—Ballroom, 3:30 and 8:30 P. M.
I
COMFORT’S PHILHARMONIC ORCHESTRA
ROY B. COMFORT, Director
3:30 P. M. end 8:00 P, M.—Sun. Eve. et 8:45
DANCING—Music Hall, Bob Leman’s Orchestra
4 to 5:30 and 9 to 11 P. M.
CHILDREN’S CARNIVAL—Tues. and Thurs., 8:45 P. M.
ALL FOR THE PRICE^OF ONE ADMISSION
=====.'. ^ 1 1 — i'lii .IUi V 1 1 M.i. i- ■