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Myrtle was afraid. She jvas bitten by icy fear. Cold shivers ran up and down her charmingly rounded vertebrae. It was not physical fear. It was simply. that she had failed. She thought of the day, only three weeks back, when she and Tom had become ' one. What faith he had had in her! What implicit trust in her ability to remove the least bit of dust from his pipe stand, to know what to do if he came home even ■ the least bit liquorish! To him she had been the Minerva of the Household—no culinary crisis was too much for her. He knew it, he felt it—and now she would have to tell him. Something was hap pening for which she had no remedy. . . . Each day the iceman freshly filled the ice box, and she did not know what to do twith the stale ice. x —Vassar Vagabond. Fair One (to escorting Mr. Urown): Isn’t it funny—that famous man’s name is Brown, too! Is he related to you? Mr. Brown: Well, not directly, but indirectly he is—you see he is ''famous, too. ; —Carnegie Puppet. -Ss® U’ College Man: I’ve got a slick ' , 5°b with the electric company. Another Lpafer: What doin’? $ C. M.: I go around with the Jfboy who reads the meters. I oil 'em so they’ll run faster. —U. of S. Calif. Wampus ' "Yeh,” moaned the old-timer dining in a restaurant, “yeh, this is a spring chicken all right. I Just bit into one of the springs.” —Kansas Sour Owl. “Will you have some pie a la mode?” “No, thanks. I’ll take mine, with ice cream on it.” —Crimson Colt.' Officer: What do you mean by going sixty miles an hour through this town? Husband: Why you—*—f—* Wife (helpfully): Don’t pay any attention to him, officer. He’s intoxicated. —Brown Jug. Doodle: I wonder if Tom loves me? ■ Decdoo: Of course, mon ami. Why should he make you an ex ception? —Bison. First Stude: Do you believe in necking? Second: Why, of course not. First: Neither do I, you liar. —Green Goat. “Have you ever had any indecent relations ?” "Yes, but they all died.” •—Columbia Jester. Customer: Five pounds of coffee, please. Grocer: Yes, anythin:; else to day? Customer: Well, if it isn't too heavy a package, I’ll take it with me. Grocer: Oh, no, it’ll only weigh three or four pounds. —Red Cal. S5 Some men earn their livelihood by the sweat of their frau. —Louisville Satyr. Among the other wild things that disappear during a rain arc birds and taxi drivers. -•Slink. My co-ed friend says that the way to a man's heart may be through his stomach, but' who the heck wants to go through, his stomach? —Georgia Cracker. “I contribute to several leading magazines.” "Yes, I see you buying them at the news-stand quite often." —Northwestern Purple Parrot. The flapper's little powdered nose This modesty has shown. It blushes like the timid rose. Unseen till .fully blown. -^Bowdoin Bear Skin. -v K. “Why, I'll have you cured of the measles in a week.” “Now, Doctor, no rash prom ises.” —Pennsylvania Punch Bowl. She: Was the party last night a ;ood one? He: It was great while I lasted, ■—Texas Ranvrr. “Th.:s ought to bring down the house.” —M. 1. T. Yoo Pro. oingte: Does your wife select your clothes? Married: No, but she picks the pockets. —Carolina Buccaneer. “I held a perfect hand last night.*’ ' “Shook hands with yourself, I suppose.” —Antes Green Gander. ' A college is a human hothouse specializing in the sheltered rear ing of persons who would be nor- • mal if they were left alone. —Pomona Sagcken. Frosh: Why is the milk so blue here? Soph: Because it comes from discontented cows. -—TVe t Tie* i The difference between kissing in ipoo and 1927 is the difference between discussion and perform ance. —Vanderbilt Masquerader. Getting a husband is like buying a car; one has to consider the trade-in value. —Cornell Widow. “I have an idea that that fellow is a low-down snake in the grass.” “Sort of a snaking suspicion, ch?” —Washington Dirge. ‘ When I was ‘twenty I made up my mind to get rich!” “But you never became rich.” “No, I decided it was easier to change my mind.” ANOTHER BEDTIME STORY Once upon a time two Scotch men made a bet. —Wash. Cougar's raw. "Do you know William?” "Seems that the nomenclature has reached my cars before, but I’ll bite. William who?” ‘‘Willya marry me?” —U. of IEc.sA. Columns. A student arrested in town the other day was found to have no liquor on him. He is being de tained for medical examination. —Mugwump. There's always one girl at every dance who makes the others wish they’d gone to the movies. —M. 7. T.'Voo Doo. Chivalry is the notion that the girl to whom you arc engaged is better than the others you date. * —Illinois Siren. He: Has he a good line? She: l hope so; he's a tight rope walker. ^ t *—Black & Blue Jay. Max Brumbaugh announces that he is going to enter the hog calling contest and he asks that all his friends come out to root for him. —Brown Bull. Stude: I call my Ford Lucy be cause she’s always going to pieces. Prunes: I call mine Virginia. Shc’o such a little creeper. —Sewanec Mountain Goal. "How do you like your journal ist course?” "It’s all write.” —Wash. Cougar's raw. Marge: That serious-minded boy is always telling me that I should put something away for a r ainy day. Large: Well, aren’t you sav ing his letters? —Hamilton Royal Gaboon. Triumphantly he rushed into the house. “Marie! Marie! Y'ltoo!” he cried. “Yes?” came his wife’s answer from somewhere or other. “What is it?” “Let’s see the mail order cata logue. I’ve just got some money, and now we can order those steps to the third floor." — Yale Record. Gene Tunney, the heavyweight champ, says, “I belong to the pub lic.” Well, one would think so after what the public paid lor him. -—Pomona Saprhrn. CASTING HIS LOT WITH DAD Willie had been naughty and was being sent to bed by his mother without any supper. He was nat urally aggrieved at the feminine sex, and tumbled into bed without. saying his prayers. “Willie,” his mother demanded^ "say your prayers.” t , “I won’t!” “Don’t you want to go t» heaven?” “Nali, us men gotta stick to gether these days.” —Denison Flamingo. ■te Stage Manager: Yes, we did 3 have a vacancy in the chorus, but you’re too late. A Girl: Too late? Stage Manager: Yeh, by about ten years, r —Red Cat. . ist Shipwrecked Traveler: Give us a cigarette, will you? 2nd Shipwrecked Traveler: Sorry, old top; I'm all out. i st Shipwrecked Traveler: That's all right; I'll smoke my glasses. —Tote Record. ; •sss-e My gal's so dumb she won't buy cold cream unless it’s packed in ice. —Texas Ranger. ' •s-e All that, titters is not bold. —Williams Purple Cow. -s*® i *A seven days’ wonder, and on the eighth she made up her mind. —Cornell Widow. Driver: .Say, did you ever have one of those headaches that made your eyes all blurry? Princeton Tiger. . ALDEN LIKES ERSKINE. H. W. Alden, chairman of the Board of Directors of the Timken Detroit Axle Company, knows au tomobiles. He writes as follows concerning the Erskine Six which he recently purchased: “I have driven my Erskine for some time now and while I was under the im preession that it was a very good car, I did not fully realize how good it was until I had driven it myself. I think your engineering a:id production departments have produced a very unique vehicle. The moro I drive it, the better I like it." * Face the Sun. Don't hunt for trouble, hut look for success! You'll find what you look for, don't look for distress! If you see but your shadow, re member, I pray, That the sun is still shining, but you’re in the way! MURDOCK PUMP 275 to 600 GALLONS PER HOUR Simpler -- Surer -- Cheaper to Operate The positive displacement vacuum pump in Murdock Automatic . Water Systems has only eight working parts. The bore of the pump cylinder is harden ed. The rotor and rotor shaft are one piece of drop forged steel. The working face of the head plates are also hardened eliminating end wear. Every pump carries a year’s guar antee for satisfactory operation. I Consult Anv Master Plumber and Be Convinced of v MURDOCK SUPERIORITY Pleasantville Plumbing Supply Co. FRANKLIN AVE. & READING R. R. ' Phone 750 Doh't grumble, don’t-bluster, don't dream and don't shirk. Don't think of your worries, but think of your work. The worries will vanish, I ho work will bo done— j No man sc his shadow who faces the —Selected. ---- When hc -’o people (ell the trialh It is only for the purpose of creat ing trouble. i Phone Pleasantville 241 ANTHONY J. CORIO f PRINTER \ Successor to PENHALLOW PRESS : 236 W. Washington Ave. \ -$QG&-- j If IPs PRINTING, We Do It! 1 On Any MEAD Bicycle whether you buy from your Ijocal Dealer or, from us direct. On Tout1 tUcycfo Prices From *2I50 Up Get full particulars by mail today. Use coupon below. Sold On Approval You are allowed 30 days’ actual riding test before sale is binding. WnfA T«<l-»wfor Catalog, Free write today Premium Offer and name of nearest Mead Dealer. CUT OH THIS Line Bead Cycle Co., Chicago, U. S.», Please send full information and namo of near* est dealer. Name . Street or F.O.Bo%_ Town.. Special Offer 286 Stale Tires 50 Each Guaranteed. — Lamps, wheels, equipment. Low prices. Send no money .Use the coupon. Cycle Company rSldU Dept, x Chicago ' ' te fr, &Vvt . ; ii - . M&. ■ When a public speaker pauses for a reply it breaks him all up if he gets it. Chickens that come home tc roost have more sense than some people. WILLYS-KNIGIIT OVERLAND _ SALES and SERVICE See the ‘WHIPPET’ the European Type Car CITY GARAGE 66 E. WASHINGTON AVE. “Woody” Dare Phone -*-866 —BUY— Northfield Baking Company --SPECIALTIES-* Home-Made, Layer, Fruit, Pound Cake —AT YOUR DEALER’S— fc. PRESTON .f. % H E X D I A M O N D SHINGLES Put on over your old roof—NOW Call, write, or phone us at Pleasantville C40, and we will send our represcn<st.;7* * to give you an estimate. Time Payments if yon wish South Jersey Asphalt Roofing Co Mill Road and Shore Fast Line ' w Nortlifield, New Jersey The Health Guardian Nature’s own way of providing refrigeration Is with pure, sparkling ICE. Nothing can replace It In its efficient and dependable work for man. ICE, as it changes from its solid form to cold-laden air is economical, safe and sure. NEIL S. CAMPBELL 34 Adams Avenue Pleasantville, N. J. - Phan* 465 Need Female Help? Try. Press Want Ad. I . ;