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The Olneyville tribune. (Providence, R.I.) 1893-189?, September 02, 1893, Image 1

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VOL. 1L
Japsn has three native fire insur
ance companies, well conducted, it is
said, the largest of which has 12,000
policies in force.
A fissure has been discovered in the
bluff four miles south of Ponea, Neb.,
from which issues a blast of intensely
heated air. In the report in which
the discovery is announced it is
stated that ‘“‘the breath of the blister
ing wind” has sufficient forcé to carry
away bits of paper and even twigs.
France has the credit of being the
pioneer in co-operative organizaticos,
and in that country there are now
1100 co-operative societies with a
membership of 600,000, Great Britain
has 1516 associations and 900,000 per
sons interested in them. In the Ger
man Empire no less than 5850 organ
izations have been formed on this
principle.
The seeming strange suggestion is
made and strongly pressed in England
that the men who man the navy should
be taught how to swim. Ordinary
sailors are instructed and expected to
qualify in swimming, but the marines,
firemen and engineers are not, and it
is o fact, declares the New York Sun,
that a large portion of the latter large
body of men who serve on war ships
cannot swim. It is said that many
more men would have been saved from
the Victoria but {Qr this fact; also
that many sailors who were good
swimmers were undoubtedly dragged
down by the men who were not. The
matter has been taken up in Parlia
ment, and it is probable that swim
ming will be insisted on as a part of
the training of every man serving
aboard ship.
The war of tariffs now fairly on be
tween Germany and Russia is no doubt
due to more than one cause. Tradi
tional enmity and jealousy have doubt
less had a good deal to do wath it on
either side. Then there have been
some indications that Russia, through
negotiations with Austria, has been
trying to put Germany in a position
of commerecial isolation, and this the
German rulers have resented. They
have had the further political motive
of gratifying the members of the
Agrarian Party in the border prov
inces, and so making sure of needed
votes to pass the Army bill. Judging
by the figures of Russo-German trade,
the New York Post predicts Russian
exports are likely to suffer more than
German from' the mutual application
of maximum tariffs, Russian exports
to Germany in 1891 amounted to
about $114,000,000, while Germany
exported to Russia in the same year
only some $61,000,000.
In the Chroniele Fire Tables for the
present year will be found some sta
tistics of unusual interest. Fire de
stroyed in 1890 in the United States,
$109,000,000 worth of property; in
1891, not less than $144,000,000, and
in 1892, the round sum of $152,000,000
went up in smoke. The fire loss in
this conntry passed the $100,000,000
limit 1 1883, and it has increased
nearly every year. The insurance
men are shaking their heads ominously
over these figures. They know that
they will have to advance rates, but
they dread the opposition of the peo
ple and the newspapers, “‘lt is a very
gerious problem-—this matter of fire
waste,” observes the Atlanta Constitu-
Bion. “In the past seventeen years
nearly seventeen hundred million dol
lars’ worth of property has becn re
duced to ashes. Georgia's loss for this
period foots up over $32,000,000.
Now, what are we going to do abouf
it? Atone time it was thought that
incendiarism cut a big figure in all
these losses, but it 18 now agreed that
the main cause is to be found in the
notorious fact that there is a craze for
cheap and hastily constructed buill
ings, with defective flues and other
drawbacks increasiag the risk of fire.
The way to counteract this evil in
cities and towns is to heve » rigid sys
tem of inspection that will prevent
the erection of such daagercus build
ings. Out in the country it will be a
matter largely under the control of
each individual house owner. We
need a reform that will give us better
buildings, even if we have fewer houses.
Between the fire demon and the storm
king the average edifice of lathes,
plaster, paint and glass has few
chances of escape.
Ghe Oluepville @ribmne
The world's coal field will last 1000
years. That gives us time enough tc
discover or invent & new fuel, com
ments the Atlanta Constitution,
Lepers are becoming so numerqus
in Louisiana, declares the Aglanta Con
stitution, that the people of that State
want the Federal Government to set
apart an island for them and under
take their care. Unless this is done,
the terrible scourge will spread to
other States. ’
It will be new to many readers that
the mosquito is now firmly cstablished
in London. It is to be found in cer
tain large hotels which are the resort
of visitors coming from the continent,
and the supply seems to be maintained
by constant importations from abroad.
Visitors who are familiar with the noise
and bite of the mosquito assert that it
is the true pest in its worst form, and
there is no reason for doubting their
experiences,
The statistics furnished by the See
retary of the Treasury about the im
portation of drugs into the United
States are somewhat startling to the
! New York World. It appears that the
Nation disposed of 1,392,437 pounds
of nux vomiea, but whether for tonical
purposes or for impaired digestion or
to kill dogs, these being among the
"various uses to which the drug is put,
is a matter of conjecture. The impor
tation of 2,686,677 ounces of sulphate
of quinine indicates that malaria still
racks the bones of Americans, and the
presence of 587,121 pounds of opium
on the list excites a suspicion about
the increase of the morphine habit.
Of ipecac—
Ipecacuanha which, for lack
Of breath to utter, men call ipecad—
the importation was small, duties hav
ing been paid on only 38,329 pounds
of this old-fashioned mendicament.
A resident of Fort Scott, Kan., who
was n passenger on a train that was
recently stopped and pillaged by rob
bers, has written a letter to the Mis
souri, Kansas and Texas Railroad
managers suggesting means for put
ting a stop to the work of desperadoes
on the railroads. After observing that
the robbers were not omnly poorly or
ganized, but seemed very apprehen
sive of the results of their erime to
themselves, those guarding the pas
senger cars continually calling out to
their companions in the express car
to hasten matters, the writersays: ‘“My
observation leads me to the conclu
sion that if your company will run a
twenty-four-inch strip of boiler iron
around the bodies just below the win
dows of your ears, put four or five
Winchesters in each car just above the
windows in glass covered boxes, just as
you do axes and saws, marked ‘‘For
emergencies,”” post up notices in each
car offering a reward, in advance, of
say $2OO or 8300 a piece for ‘fresh
dead train robbers,’ I think you will
see the meekness and apathy of the
ordinary to-be-robbed passenger dis
appear, and the American public will
take care not only of itself, but of any
stray robbers ‘canght in the act’ along
the line of the Missouri, Kansasand
Texas.” Another device to prevent
the success of train robbers has been
invented by the Western Passenger
Agent of the Chesapeake and Ohio
Road at St. Louis. His plan is very
simple and provides for eqaipping
every safe with two locks which inter
lock with each other, and a notice
pasted on the outside of the safe for
the especial benefit of the rolLber.
The locks, for convenience of descrip
tion, are called ‘““Loeck No. 1” and
“Loek No. 2,” and the notice reads as
follows: ‘“Notice. In case of assanlt
by robbers, throw the combination of
lock No. 2. This ‘safe ean then be
opened only by the agent at the ter
minal station.” The messenger knows
the combination of lock No, 1, orhasa
key to unlock it, but he does not know
the combination of lock No. 2, and if
he once throws off the combination of
lock No. 2, it is utterly impossible for
him to unlock and open the safe, and
the painted notice on the safe door
will apprise the train robbers of the
fact. At the first intimation of tron
ble the messenger’'s orders will require
that he at onee throw off the combina
tion of lock No. 2, when the safe is at
onee locked, not only against the rob
bers, but against the messenger and
every one except the agent at the eand
of his run.
OLNEYVILLE, R. I, SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 2, 1893.
OVER THE GET-THERE ROAD,
Who will dare the road to There,
The There of glittering glory?
Rough it is as a Whitman ode,
Cruel it is as the Russian code,
Long it is as the devil's goad ;
At least, so runs the story.
There's never a finger-post nor guide,
Nor beast to bear your load ;
Bewaro of the Reckless Rapid's tide
And of Easy Swamp on the other side ;
Go slow and sure, for you cannot ride
Over the Get-There road.
What does it cost to get to There,
The There of marvelous mention?
Only a soul of smallest breed,
Only a life of grasping greed,
Only a heart which does not heod
Another's right or plight or need,
But holds its own intention,
I saw one left to a loathsome pest,
For that is the Get-There mode,
One ploked ths purse of his wretched guest,
One trod rough-shod on a sweetheart's
breast,
Over the Get-There road.
What's the share of those of There?
Why, every taste is suited ;
Flaming fame or a ruling rod, '
A sunny smile of the golden god,
Or, may be, six b» two of sod, '
For that's a p int disputed.
There's never a way to tell what's true
Of that seleot abode
Till you pass the wall which bars its view,
Over or under, around or through,
I don't know how it is done, do you?
Most of us don't, but some of us do,
Over the Get-There road,
Who, then, cares to geot to There?
Why, all, if truth be spoken.
Spite of each scornful gibe and snoeer
There must offer a heartsome choer,
And can't be worse than being here
By many a sign and token.
Then ho! for a tramp on the well-worn track,
Though rough as a Whitman ode,
Or cruel as the Russian code,
Or long as the devil's goad.
Whatever it is, thera's nothing baok,
It can't be worse than a cul de sae,
8o gird up your loins, plek up your pack,
And hey for the Get-There road !
~J. Edmund V, Cooke, in New York Sun.
JASPER GREENE'S WOOING,.
S\ ST ABPAB GREENE
-o/ dismissed the
\‘[email protected] driver when he
R reached the wharf
S ==. After crossing the
T “ Ottawaatthe Four
y— Corners and
S o = looked around for
«)/ e ee— Daoust to carry
= NWe—- his baggage up to
Gf-___-——: = Lulu-lln'uB usl in
. = days of yore. But
old Daoust was dead and therefore
could not come.
Millette put the heavy trunk on a
truck-sleigh and began to trot along
the wooden wharf. Then, when Mil
lette paused for breath, Greene pushed
the old man aside and took holdP of the
truck. “‘Say, Millette, I'll wheel this
up for fifty cents for you,” he said.
Millette ran panting alongside.
“"Ah-h ze drole monsieur. I will pro
vide for ze christening."”
Greene stopped short. ““What,
another |" he said in pretended amaze
ment. ‘“‘“How many?’ bhe asked,
briefly.
“Twenty-seven,” rejoined Millette,
with ill-dissembled pride.
Greene stopped again and carefully
counted out twenty-seven cents.
‘““Here’s a cent each for your children,
Millette. Don't stand still any longer
or you'll get frost-bitten. I dare not
run the risk of having to provide for
twenty-seven orphans.”
Millette took the money with pro
fuse thmnks and hurried off, leaving
Greene to go on to Labelle’'s hotel
with the huge truck sleigh. By the
time Jasper reached the Postoffice a
procession graduaally formed on the
sidewalk to welcome him back to Mon
treal. When Lily Labelle saw him
she came out and promptly gave the
children a holiday for the rest of the
day. Then she joined him at the head
of the procession. When they reached
the veranda the children gave threc
cheers for Jasper and called for a
speech.
He waited for the crowd to disperse
before he approached Lily, who stood
leaning against the veranda, anamused
look in her dark eyes.
““Are you glad to see me?” heasked.
“Come in to dinner,” she said.
“T'll answer your questions—some of
them —afterward.”’
Mrs. Labelle grested him with n!
kiss on both cheeks, while her hus
band bowed with grave politeness.
Lily seated herself at the upper
table ; Jasper at once took possession |
of Lily and held his prize ag.inst all
comers, especially the ecashier of the |
Four Corners Bank. The latter was
not easily disconcerted, but prepared
to demolish Jasper. !
Miller, the cashier, asked her to go |
for a sleigh ride that afternoon.
“So sorry,” drawled Jasper. ‘‘Miss
Labelle has been onp,odto me for a |
sleigh ride for a year.’ i
The ecashier, without waiting for a
nfly, went angrily ont, v
ily raised her eyes from her plate.
“Why are yoa a week before your'
time, Jasper 7" she asked. ‘
“That’'s the reason,” said Jasper,
indieating with a fragment of minece
pie on his fork the retresting fira of |
the cashier. “If I'm only allowed one
sleigh ride a year, I don't see why that
fellow should get abead of me and have
three a week."”
“‘But your work, Jasper?"
“Ob, McQuire's looking after that
for rae. I explained to him that it was
:wther important to clear up matters
here, and so 1 came."”
Lily had not expected her coquetry
to become known. ‘‘ltis so dull,”
she said, in extenuation.
Jasper commenced snother mince
pie.
“Don’t be afraid of it's being dull
while I'm here,” he said, with sublime
self-confidence. ““You promised me
one sleigh ride a year for seven yoars
if I wanted it, and I guess I'll take this
year's to-day."”
Lily pouted. Jasper smiled and
rumg{od his yellow hair,
“You'd better own up.” he said,
with unabated cheerfulness. ‘‘How
soon ean you be ready?” ‘
Lily was cowed. “‘Oh, in half an
hour ;" and ran away to get her things
on.
When Lily came down arrayed in
her most becoming furs Jasper smiled
approvingly. “You only want some
flowers to be perfect,” he said.
Lily gave a little ery.
But t_{ey are impossible.”
“‘Not at all,” said Jasper, taking a
box from his pocket. **Nothing im
possible if yon want it badly enough.”
Lily opened the box am{ gave an
other ery. *“‘Orange blossoms!” she
sard,
“Yes," answered Jasper. ““From
Florida. . People there stick the ends
in o potato to keep them fresh. Capi
tal dedge, isn't it?"”
He took out the orange blossoms,
threw away the potato and pinned
them to her jackeot.
‘““Now we're ready to start. Stop a
moment !"” and he drew her back be
hind the eurtain as the ecashier drove
past on his way to the schoolhouse.
Lily began to laugh. *“lt's very
wicked of you, Jasper.”
““That will teach him to go sleighing
with my sweetheart,” said Jasper,
oalmly.
Lily irotontod. *“You've no right
to say that, Jasper. I only promised
you a sleigh ride once a {esr for seven
years, and then if 1 liked you well
enough, then perhaps I might marry
you."
Jasper was drawing on his sealskin
gloves. ““T'hat’'s all very well,” he
said, ““but we haven't the time to waste
which those old biblical people had.
In seven years' time I expect to be in
the Cabinet.”
Lily followed him to the door, only
to recoil in dismay. “‘“That!” was all
she said.
“He's not handsome to look at,”
said Jasper, drolly. ‘‘Rather three
cornered and lop-sided. Still I don't
suppose that cashier fellow can over
take a venerable ruin like this.”
“Tl
“If he does,” flashed Lily,
change sleighs,”
“Well, that's fair,” gently asserted
Jasper. ‘“ln you go. There isn't
much fuss and feathers about the old
sleigh, but it means business all the
same.”’
Lily was farions at being treated
like o child. Besides she had deter
mined to teach Jasper a lesson.
“Rather like Deacon Platt's ser
mons, They always hnw fire at the
start,” said Jusper. ‘‘Now, we'll go
to Hawesbury by the river track. That
fellow can see us oeming. Ah, I
thought so. He'll be down here in a
minute.”
Lily looked rather frightened as the
chestnut eame along at a furious pace.
It was evident that his driver resentod
being made a fool of, and that there
would be a scene as soon as he conld
get his horse alongside Jasper's
funereal quadruped. But no sooner
did that gejocted animal touch the ice
than he became a different-looking
horse altogether. His head went up
and his tail out, at the ring of the
chestnut's hoofs on the smooth ice
which connected the river with the
shore. Then, Jasper leaning back,
waited until the chestnut was within
twenty yards aud suddenly loosed the
reins.
“Why, w-—what—" said Lily.
““He's running away, Jasper?”
“Yes, he's doing his level best,”
said Jasper, as the bank seemed to
spin by. “‘lf the chestnu’ catches us
yon can have his master.”
Jasper kept the black’s head straight.
That was all he conld do with the un
manageable beast. ‘“You see, Lil,"
he explained, ‘‘you’ve been fooling one
of us to the top of your bent. Now
you'll just take the chances of war.
If he collars us I shall have to give
in”
“T won't,” said Lily, stoutly, begin
ning to realizg the situation and how
Jasper had awakened to life nnder the
influence of jealous;. *‘Nothing shall
make me w-m-marsy him. 1 only
drove with him becaaise it was so dull
down here. That was all.”
“Chestnut’s coming up a bit,”" said
Jasper cheerily after another mile.
“Hope Baslbec will hold out.”
mf‘ gazed anxionsly st the ani
mstex “ruin” in the shafts. The
chestnut was geining. Then she
looked at the black horse.
“(.e-c-conldn’t you whip kim?" she
asked.
“I could,” said Jasper, ‘‘but it's
bardly fair. He isn't the one that
sßnld be vhi‘rpod for this.”
Lily turuned white. ‘‘You're very
eruel, Jasper, but I deserve it all,
Nothing n{mll make me marry him,
I'd rather go to the bottom of the
river with youn."
As they neared Hawkesbury the
chestnut steadily gained. Jasper had
succeeded in pulling the old black
back into his gait and began to
whistle, Suddenly he turned pale.
“How far's that fellow behind, Lil?"
he asked.
“Forty yards,” said Lil, in an
agony.
Jasper spoke quite lightly. “Lil"
he said, “Xi(d you mean you'd rather
go to the bottom of the river with me
than let that fellow cateh up?”
“Yes,” said Lil, without gmsihtion.
“What do yon mean, Jasper?"
“This,"” said Jasper; ““I forgot the
spring thaw., Three hundred yards
ahead of us the river's split right
across, Shall I pull up?”
Lily stood up in the sleigh and
looked round. She gave a little shud
der and laid her hand on Jasper's arm,
“Go on, Jasper,” she said; “I'll
risk it."”
Jasper looked down for a moment into
her white face. *“‘I'll pull up if you
wish, Lil. “T'will be too late directly.”
“No, Jasper, I deserve it. Go on,
and—and if—if it's to be good-by--"
She kissed him.
“Ah, flowers!
“Hold tight,” said Jasper, begin
ning to pull steadily on the old black.
Lal held tight to the side of the
sleigh in an agony of grief. Then he
liftod the black to the leap, gave one
cruel slash with the whip, there was a
erash of breaking ice as the sleigh
struck on the other side, n stagger
from the black. A convulsive pull and
they were over and twenty yards be
yond the widening chasm, with the
frightenod eashier pulling up on its
brink.
When Lily recovered conseiousness
she found herself in the manse parlors
nt Hawkesbury.
““Are you all right, Lil?" asked Jas
per, cheerily.
She clung to him and hid her face
in his broeast.
“Was it all a dream ?"”’
Jasper took a plain gold ring from
his pooket.
“l don't think so,” he said. *“I
wired down to Mr. Watson yesterday
to expeet us this afternoon. Now,
Mrs. Watson, she's all ready.”
An hour later the funeral black
cerawled lazily back. Half way they
met the eashier, his chestnut nearly
foundered and searce able to stand.
“Thank God!"” he eried, as they
came in sight. ‘I thought you were
mad."”
“N-no,” said Jasper, touching up
the old black. “*N-no, I was just giv
ing my wife a sleigh drive down to—-"
“Y-your wife?"
“Yes,” said Jusper, again stimulat
ing Baalbee. “‘Sorry we couldn’t
wait for you."”
And the eashier fell behind-—a long
way behind - —again. - Chiongo News.
Remarkable instances of Antipathy,
Amatus Lesitanus relates the case of
n monk who would fsint on seeing a
rose and who never quitted his cell at
the monnstery while that flower was
blooming. Orfila, a less questionable
suthority, tells us of how Vineent, the
great painter, would swoon upon go
ing suddenly into & room in which
roses were blooming, even though he
did not see them. Valtaid tells of an
army officer who was frequently thrown
into violent convulsions by coming in
contact with the little flower known as
the pink. Orfila, our suthority on the
case of Vineent, the painter above re
lated, also tells of the case of a lady
forty-six years of age, hale and hearty,
who if present when linseed was being
boiled for any purpose, would be seized
with violent fits of coughing, swelling
of the face and partial loss of reason
for the ensuing twenty-four hours,
Writing of these peculiar antipathies
and aversions, Montagne remarks that
he has known men of undoubted eour
nge who would much rather face
shower or esnnon balls than to look at
an apple! In Zimmerman's writings
there is an aceount of a lady who could
not bear to tonch either silk or satin
and who would almost faint if by se
cident she should happen to touch the
velvety skin of a pench. Bofla ro
cords the ease of o man who would faint
upon hearing the “‘swish” of a broom
ncross the floor, and of another with a
natural abhorrence for honey., Hippo
erates of old tells of one Nieanor who
would always swoon st hearing the
sound of a flute. Bacon, the great
Englishman, could not bear to see &
lunar eclipse snd always completely
collapsed upon such oceasions, and
Vaughelm, the great German sports
man, who had killed hundreds of wild
boars, wonld faint if he but got »
glimpse of a roasted pig. —Philadel
phin Press,
A novel metbod of bringing sinners
to repentance has been insugurated
by sn ingenions Germantown evange
list. Every Sunday afternoon, from
now until Oectober, open-air religlono
services will be held in Vernon Park.
As each idle stroller wanders in he will
be presented with a fan, on either
side of which a gospel hymn will be
printed. —Philadelphia Record,
The Schemnitz silver mines, of Hun
gary, have been steadily worked for
| over eight handred years.
Novel Method of Evangelization,
THE STARS,
What are their years? The night's unfath
omed deep
Rings back no answer , gives no glimmesr
ing key
And still unknown and beautiful they keep
The silent courses of eternity,
What ar. their memories of creation's days
When startled chaos, from the kingdon
hurled,
First know its master, and with glad amaze
They sang the birth song of our trembling
world?
What eyes they looked on since with patien
eye,
While million years uncounted rolled
away !
Who clalms antiquity of man that dies
Before such records of the past as they?
Can they to man the mystery explain,
The why, the whence, of his uncertain
state?
Unloek the riddle that he reads in vain
And clear t he tangled problem of his fate’
Can they fashion to the future give
And tell the whither of man's anxious
quest?
Make life aloss than weariness to live,
Or stay the hazard of his wild unrest?
Oh, stars! What midnight message do yos
boar
To minds grown woeary with the year's in
croase?
The wistful oyes that wateh you shining
there
Look out of troubled hearts that know not
peace,
wChambers's Journal,
HUMOR OF THE DAY,
The man who had himself shipped
to Chioago in a trunk has returned
“strapped.”—Boston Herald.
Smithson—"“What time have you
got?" The Financier (despondently)—-
“Thirty days at six per cent,” —Chi
eago Record.
Minnie— ‘Did he kiss you when he
proposed?”’ May “Certainly; I
wonldn't consider any but sealed pro
posals. ¥’ —Vogue.
“I understand Jigson is financially
interested in the concern he is with.”
*‘Yos, they owe him six months' salary,"
wWestfleld Union.
It is strange how many millions oan
be dropped on the Board of Trade
without sné coin rolling out of the
corners. —Chicago Journal,
Husband (listening) —*‘l think there
is o burglar in the house.” Wife (ex
citedly)—*““Mercy me! Is my night
cap on straight ?”’—Somerville Journal,
Four French sportsmen fired simul
taneously at a rabbit, but it escaped ;
then they askod all together: “I won
der who missed that time?"—Tit-Bits,
“‘lt is & funny thing that what is the
sailor's joy is the actor's sorrow,”
mused Haverly, *“What is that ?"’ asked
Austen. ‘A light house."” -~New York
Hernld,
Beatrice ‘I hear that Mr. Sapley
in suffering from brain fever.” Jones
I guess not, He hasn't the raw
material nocessary for brain fever, -
Brooklyn Life,
Jinks—*“Ardup has a wonderful
memory."” Blinks “How do you
know?' Jinks—‘‘He drew an excel
lent picture of n dollar the other day,"
~Chieago Tribune,
She—*“What strange weather we are
having this summer.” He-—Yes, but
if you remember, the summer of '5O
was just such another.” She-—“ Sir!"
—Ponrson's Weekly.
“Did your new cook bring good ree
ommendations from her last employ
er? “I'm going to find out as soon
ms she has an afternoon at home,” -
Chieago Inter-Ocenn. :
Willinmson —““Did the man you
bought that mule from say that he
wouldn't kick?’ Henderson--*No;
but he would have said so if 1 had
asked him."” —Brooklyn Life.
Prisoner —““But T would rather tell
my own story., Don't yon think it
would be believed?” Lawyer—‘Yes,
that's the trouble. It would earry
conviction with it.”—Harlem Lafe.
“That play of Rankley's have any
kind of aran?” *“I should remark!
Company beat the sudience to the
town limits by just ten feet the first
place they tried it.”"--Buffalo Courier,
Neighbor's Boy—*‘Maw sent me over
to ask if you'd lend her yeur bottle o'
cough medicine.” Mrs, {(noot-—“l’on
tell your mother we keep our cough
medieine strictly for home consump
tion, " —=Chieago Tribune,
Mr. Trotterly—*‘Conld you marry a
very old man with a good deal of
money if he told you frankly how old
he vas and how much he was worth ?”
Mics Timely - “How much is he worth 2"
—Vogue.
“Did it seem homelike at the hotel
where you stopped, and—" *“‘Treated
me like one of the family; took my
trunk into the proprietor's room first
thing.” “For a joke, wasn't it?"” *‘No,
for a board bill.” Chieago Inter-
Ocean.
Hotel Clerk--“ What wero you
pounding on the floor of No. 75 just
now for!” Bellboy--*“To wake the
man. He wants to go on the 6 o'closk
train.' Clerk—*“Didn’t T tell yon
that the train was five hours late?"
Bellboy--“‘Yes, but how was the man
goin' to know it unless somebody told
bim?"—~Chicago Hotel World,
NO. 1.

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