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Ti o hi n v gv. T AZTEC. NEW MEXICO. TiMir Mr K.'rr.e has inly $.''..i't.onn !!!. Si h ru l pimity is pitiiul to Lehtiu. When you cant get 'central" you are ready to believe ihat tho telephone is u holler nu kcry. liain may help tin late crops, b'i' it seriously interferes with the l.ui t of hits ua the hall field. The lesson ymi nmst easily learn is yon (irinv o'.iler is that the older you trow the hankr it is to learn. It is authoritatively denied that Harry I.ehr wears frills on the ends of hU draw.rs.-- Chira-;. R- tin! Her ald. Some Eastern tills have invented what they i ail the piazza mat hat. l:s shape i improved hy being Kit t;; n. A V.-i oüsiii ;a, ho night have i. v t-: ii::; his ho. -irr corrí V.I (if 1,-1. !,v !!..!. ad. :i!.d í :Ci 1 ii J L . ' j 7 ó peai!. Kins A ; ai;ij. r an I Ijueen Iha-a had ai e.mniliiteil debts a:ii:int iitu to Jvumu, anil yet some people question e, their ability. Harry I.ehr i an illiist rat nm of tlie fai t that if some ir.-n i an only got In tnselves talked ahoMt, tin y don't i are w hat i said. Ufe is not all a hed of ruses; and if it were we would miss ami howl for. ham and eggs, garlic, minee pies and autolliohiles. Judge The man who realizes Hint he has made a fool of himself ( vpci cines eonsideralde dillienlly In keeping oih ers from finding it mil. The Dowager Empress of China ap pears to he having tier annual thirst for goto, lis ipner how long the J.ord lets some people live. The boys have about quit dying iron) the efforts of Finit'.li of July fireworks, lull tin- green apple vii litns are now beginning, to he heard of. St. 1'aiil. if we mistake not. is the lirst large city to take decisive action against the toy pistol of l'io, ,m si. I'aul will lie le.-s loin .nine as i i -xi lolls on. Now that heef hps gone up. it t proiiahle that ihire won't I. so pinch of it no down wiih people who must keep tile living expenses below a (el lain II fin re. "We are In the hands of a leciiver." writes a Ilillville edllor, and may the Lord make him duly thankful for what he is aliout to rciclvc!"- Atlanta Constitution. I. is thought Ihat Hip Humberts, the Ilk Paris swindlers, will get hut a light sentence. It will he remembered ihat hoy were wise enough to steal M'Voral millions. Manila correspondents say the sul tan of Sulu is so infatuated with Singapore that lie will never return to Sulu. First i hey had him die, and now they l ave him resign. Colombia "prefers war to humilia tion." Our sympathy with that noble sentiment. Is somewhat dulled by the consideration that South American re publics prefer war to almost any thing. The Washington baseball team is for sale. Ii is apparent thai the own- rs of the team hav e a g I ileal of I erve. They ought to oiler to give it away with half a pound of tea or toiiietliltig. A sixty horse power engine used on western ranches will plow sixty acres n day. lietweeii that groat machine and (lie automobile people who like horse meat should be aide to get it at 1-nrgalii rati s. Egyptian mummies under a recent ustoms derision are to be admitted to ttiis country without having to pay iiutv. Although no protest by somn infant, industry has yet arisen, you never can ti II. Permits w ho come back wearied and exhausted by the pleasures of their online tour should cheer up with the reflection that about fifty weeks must intervene before they have the same experience again. - English clergyman has entirely los his memory as Hie result of tak ing a bath a circumstance which will confirm many people in their convic tion that bathing is not only foolish hut a dangerous custom. That American girl who is going o paint a portrait of the empress dow iiger of China should he careful not to make It true to life if she cares o get her pay without making the col lection of it in an International Inci dent. Hrilain has given liberty to seven teen unreconstructed lioer prisoners. The most dangerous feature about these Irrecoiicllables Is that they re fuse to work. Kven a small number cf Idlers may make considerable trouble. According to a Calais, Me,, dispatch a man has just died down ihat way who took out a life Insurance policy Fix weeks ago because he dreamed three nights running that he saw hit own dead body. And no doubt Iher are people who wonder if I lie com any will not protest against paying An automobile has made the run from San Francisco to Chicago ip fifty i:ays. The chauffeur must have ftarte.l out with the Intention of prov ing to the public that It Is Mill pos sible to go glow!)' In a j uff waon. l Y As Kevisedby"' y5&n.to3 - Dvrmotvt "Will you fly with me. my dar'lns, to m( htppirr distant clime. Where tlie uiiiv i-rin-1 pari-nt is relentless Falht-r Timi-'.' Seven Summers have ill inrleil since the Idesai'd day 1 knew That in all the Snlnr Sslein there was mine like unto you. "lis your plute-atll, iater who has ever helil ni back. CelJiy srii-emiK as lie shovels coupons in a lMilm; sack. And lie swears In she. kim; phrases that hep ne'er consent to me As a memhi-r of his houselinlil till I've heaped up millions thiee. Now, I'm shy two million ilucals. anil a half A million mere, We must tin- or II y toether. li t the King of Finance roar" Then she spoke: "We'll wait no lunger, let u go this very night. Are on sine the airship's reply anil the engine's working rliiht? I will meet you in the vanlt-n wre'ii the strek of mldnlglit rings. Now be boO'J. dii-.l leave me, darling. 1 must go and pack my things." When n winced phantom sweeping with a hisclnc. sighing rush. S'-ltleil gently In the shadows of the sleeping garden's hush. There w.-re whispers: "'Test the current, oil the fans and steering wh"e; Try the motors, shift some ballast forward of tie- sliding keel." Tie-re's a flutter and a rustle, and a stilled, tolibii.g cry; "Hurry, (ieorge, all Is discovered; oh, 1 knew that I shall die." As a mighty wind of Autumn sings ntiimtf the lossini; trees, So the tnrsliip Hurrtrana sw-nt tier pinions lo the tirei ze, llislnif slowly till th.: city faded in a smudce of black. Then she wini.-.l her hurtling passage oir the moonlit southern trade. Knglnes throbln-d. the sti it was vibrant. !-'ald the Captain: "T'hatTI do. l-hk'hty knots, sir: any harder, and she'll shake herself in two." Hut hi hiiicl. portentous 1, nulling, growing larger nil the while. Showed a shadow Ihst meant trouble m another living mile. Slid the Captain: "Tint's the flagship of II, Aerial express. She can do an easy hundred, and a trltlc more. I kucss." In a moment o'er the ipiarry Hashed a searchlight's blinding glare. While tin- maiden shrieked, half fainting. In the depths of her despair. "i'b-ar the rapid-lirlni; ritle that we ktr1 for pirate crews. Lead," said tieiirge, "and blow him out of both his wicked shoes." " 'Tls my father! cried the inalih-n. ''Spare him. for he loves me JO "All right, liunner. only wing her-better aim a trille low. Ami you'll smash a shaft or engine that will cripple the machine, And vnur father, tlarltmr Nora, will be in the sunn tureen." Hang! the gunner hit the target and the .Xs a iiroK'-n-witigi-u eagle imiui.-s. stri. Keu In nis priue. "Thev'll ii, if ii.-rwh- 1 in In ibmei-r lorn inn- s..-t ri-l Itetit '" c.-illed the ninte "Manning parachute preservers." "See 'em hustle!" "Ain't it great'.'" I Soon thrro dropp-'d a rotund object, like a fat pear from a tree. Falling gently, kicking wtldlv. shouting language black and free. "Hood-bye. father, keep your hut en. an,j be careful where you light!" Laughed the maiden, while the sailors yelled u jubilant "(iood nialiL." Where the palm trees droop 'neath tropic skies this mod- rn pair were wrd, And the airship's thirst v sailors made the isle a vivid red. lut the apoplectic falling star came down upon a fence. And In his cushioned trame were knocked some rather painful di.nts. lie lives alone, and mourns the day he ever iiid pursue That willful daughter, her young man and 1 lurrleatia s crew. -HAI.l'll 1). 1'AINF. In New York Time. Had "Money "Money to burn" is n phrase that one is likely to regard as belonging t modern slanii, and of recent origin, hut it was used inore than fifty years ago, with a slightly different mean ing, by a fanner living in western New Hampshire. This man who may he called Smith, as that happened to be his liamo was sued for a debt which he declared that he did not owe, and he contested the charge hotly, but never theless judgment was found against him. Smith said the evidence was false, and vowed he would never pay the amount. As the law at that time allowed Imprisonment for debt, he moved over the line into Vermont to escape arrest. Now, Mr. Smith had always prided himself upon being an honest, law abiding citizen, who paid his taxes and owed no man a penny, ami the injustice of the action against him rankled in his soul. He wished to show his utter contempt for t ho de cree and the court that had made such a travesty of justice, and to outwit its officers in their effort to take him into custody. So every Sunday old "Cash" Clay's The following story Is related of Gen. Clay's power as an orator: A man was once being tried for murder, and his case looked hopeless indeed. He had, without any seeming provocation, murdered one of his neighbors in cold blood. Not a law yer in the county would touch the case. It looked bad enough to ruin the reputation of any barrister. The man. as a last extremity, aii pealeil to Mr. Clay to take the case for liim. ICvery one thought that. Clay would certainly refuse. Hut when the celebrated lawyer looked into the matter his lighting blood was roused, and, to the great surprise of all. he accepted. Then came a trial the liko of which has seldom been seen. Clay slowly carried on the case, and it looked more and more hopeless. The only ground of defense the prisoner had was that the murdered man had looked at him with such a fierce, miii deroiis look that out of self defense he had struck first. A ripple passed through the jury at this evidence. The time came for Clay to make his defense. It was settled in the minds Gen. Butler "When I was a boy in I-owoll just after the war." said a Massachusetts man, in the Washington I'ost, "1 met Gen. lienjamin V. Hutler on the street one day, and following him was a hoy who was yelling: 'Old Hen Hut ler, Cockeye Hutler!' and dodging and running whenever the general made a motion to catch liim or strike him with his stick. " 'Son,' said he to me, "I 11 give you fifty cents If you'll thrash that boy; but I want you to thrash him good.' " 'What do I get if he licks me'." I asked, for. as a Yankee boy, 1 wanted all there was in it. "'A quarter if he whips you, and fifty cents if you thrash him. Now, give It to him rood.' "I made for the boy, who was about my size, and In a second we were making the fur fly. We hadn't been at it long enough to give any Idea of the outcome when one of the two or three policemen the town then had grabbed the air of u.i and marched us off to the station house, which was Ths Infk-ence of Radium. A report of experiments with radium In I'mschail. St. Petersburg, is as fol lows: Twenty-one nilci were placed In glass vessels, covered with netting, upon which a radium cell was placed lor periods of from one to three days. Six other mice wure similarly Im prisoned whuut being exposed to the A- .ship turned on her side, V"l ii. to Burn." Smith crossed over the Connecticut river from Vermont and paid a visit to his old neighbor, Aimer Craln. lie made no secret of his coming, secure in the knowledge that the law could not reach him on Sunday, and he look good care to get back befor I he hour which u.diered in the legal weekdays. After dinner Mr. Craln and he used to take a stroll about the place to look at the crops, and then settlu themselves comfortably in chairs on 1)ie Kia,y ,,,1-cli and take out their pipos for a quiet smoke. This was Smith's happiest moment. Reaching down into his trousers pocket, hi would pull out a big roll of bank notes nnd peel one off the bunch. I.eisusely folding the note lengthwise into a spill, he would then roach over and light it at the pipo Mr. Crain was already puffing, and. as he applied the burning paper to his own, he would remark in complacent tones between the puffs: "I ve got money to burn, neighbor; money to burn; but I'll never pay that judgment with it, never! I'll burn it all f'.rst!" Black Loot of the spectators that the man was guilty of murder in th.! lirst degree. Clay calmly proceeded, and laid all the proof before them in a masterly way. Then, just as he was about I o conclude, he played his last and inci ter card. "Gentlemen of the jury," he said, as suming the fiercest, blackest look, and carrying the most undying hatrüd in it ever seen "gentlemen, if a man i should look at you like this, what would you do?" That ivas all he said, hut that was enough The jury was startled, and some even ipialled In their seats. The judge moved uneasily on his bench Alter some fifteen minutes the jury filed slowly back with a "Not guilty your Honor.'' The victory was com plete. When Clay was congratulated on his easy ictory he said : "It was not so easy as you think I spent days and days in my room before the mirror practicing that look. It took more hard work to give that look than to investigate the most oh truse case." Louisville Courier-Journal. Got Even. ! but half a smmv or so away The general charges followed, and after the were made against us ho said: How much collateral do you want to release this boy?" Indicating mo. '1 know his parents and will send him home.' " 'Five dollars will be enough, gen eral,' said the man in charge, which the general put tip, and I left the sta lion with him. "'Now, as your attorney, I t li i tilt yon had better go fishing to-morrow, said he. 'Go early and stay all dav Here's your fifty cents. You didn't lick him, but 1 believe you would.' "I took his advice; the case was called the next day and my recogniz ance was forfeited and I heard no more of It. The other hoy got off with a lecture, I believe. "Ten years after that, while Gen, Hutler was in Congress, I called on him, brought myself to his recollec tion, and through his good offices I obtained n clerical appointment which I held for several years." influence of radium. These six re mained lively and gained in weight, but all the others died on the fourth or fifth day from paralysis of the spinal cord and brain. Fast Automobile Travel. An Englishman has covered 42" miles in 21 hours and 1C mluutes with his automobile. Magnetie Steering Gear. In spite of the numerous and often Ju8t complaints against the motor car because of Its abuse from a apeed standpoint, this, vehicle Is gradually gaining the ground, which wiil make It In the near future indispensable coru metclally. It is reaching this plane ouly by the efforts of the inventor to improve on the .crude Ideas which originally obtained as to horseless carriages and every device which gives the driver increased control of the machine advances the automobile a long step toward this perfection. One fault with. motor cars is the inefficient means of controlling the steering apparatus, the front wheels belpg liable to jump to one side or tita other, when ttriking an obstrue- Device to Steady Wheels. tlon In the road. In spite of the chauf feur's efforts to steady the steering leviT. To Improve on this Is shown on electromagnetic steering gear, which, while still making use of the lever to guide the machine, has a pis ton r.nd cylinder arrangement to steady the moveirYont. The cylinder contains a heavy liquid and the cylin der has valves opening in opposite di rections and under the control of magnets electrically connected with the steering lever. To turn the ma chine the lever is'pushed to one side, cloning the circuit to open the proper valve and allow the liquid to flow through the valve inside the piston with a steady movement, the combi nation of the liquid and the piston in the cylinder serving as a cushion to prevent the sudden turn of the steer ing gear in either -direction. Herman Lwao of Lynn, Mass., is the Inventor. Vest Pocket Check Punch. Every one will willingly admit that he would like to have frequent use for the article shown in the Illustra tion and those whom fortune has so favored that they need a check pro tector will doubtless find this one much to their liking. In the first place, the small business man who nas been barred from using a check protector on aceytnt of Its high cost can 'prrtbaltry'JHVt 0 'Utry "tills one. Then its small size enables It to be carried In the pocket, instead of re maining in a fixed place In the office or store. This makes It especially convenient for the traveling man, who Would otherwise be often compelled to do without the protection thus af forded. As will he seen, there is a flat plate, carrying small disk? with figures Especially for the Traveling Men. raised on the surface, while at the rear are hinged perforated plates cor responding to the raised numbers. When the cheek protector is to be used it is only necessary to lay the slip of paper on the plate and de press one of the hinged numbers over it to cut the figure from the paper; then the check is placed over the next figure and so on, until the amount for which tho check reads has been indicated. Tlie inventor is A. Connor of Pitts burg. Is All Matter Electric? According to a theory advanced by Sir Oliver Lodge, tho eminent Eng lish physicist, it is possible that mat ter may be nothing moro than an figgregation of minute electric charges, although he cannot explain how isolated charges, such as he sup poses, can exist, la a single atom of matter there may be, he says, hun dreds of thousands of these electric points, or electrodes, but they are In dividually so small that their dis tances apart may be relatively as great as that of the planets in the solar system. The idea that an atom of matter is further divisible was sug gested several years ago by Professor Thomson of Cambridge, England, In a theory that has since become famous. He believes that an atomic "chip" constitutes a charge of negative elec tricity. On this theory electricity is t'othing but flnely divided matter. Lodge has reversed the Idea and makes matter the sum of myriads of tiny electric charges. August Suc cess. Making Stone from Skimmed Milk. Skimmed milk, in spite of its valu able properties, has so far been llttlo used. It Is known to contain a con siderable portion of nutritious matter, and one quart is about equal to a quar ter of a pound of meat. At the Hy gienic Milk Supply Exhibition, which was lately held at Hamburg, there were exhibited a number of objects which seemingly had nothing what ever to do with hygienic milk supply. There were shown, nicely arranged In glass boxes, combs seemingly made of horn; cigar holders, with amber colored mouthpieces; kl.ives and forks, with handles Bimilar In appearance to ebony; ferrules for umhrrellas and sticks, and balls, rings, chess figures, iominoes, etc.: also a small table with an U-laM tua.-ble dab, aad finally a n i i H H J SCIENCE- number of thick slabs and staves with every imaginable variation of marble colors, but of considerably less weight than real marble. These objects were mode galallt'n" i. e.. mil.; stone. The principal albuminoid substance of skimmed milk, the casein. Is the raw material cut of which the new product galalith, Is manufactured. An ad vantage of this milk stone over eel lullold Ts the fact that It does not ig nite so easily ai:d is entirely odorless. Trials have proved Ihat even when kept for weeks in water it does uot distend more than the best quality uf buffalo horn; after one mouth it bad not soaked in more than 20 per rv t of water. Liquid Air. One of the greatest disappointments of the day In the lino of utilizing i product of the laboratory is liquid ah'. So soon as it was known to lie pos sible to produce a very low tempera ture by compressing air to great den sity and liquefying it, it was supposed to be available for a great many In dustrial purposes, but it now appears that the expense of producing liquid air is far greater than the methods of obtaining low tbmperaiJires now in use, and all the schemes based upon It have had to bo abandoned. "If wo worked our ice factories nnd cooling plants by the use of liquid air," says Dr. Van Linde, in Cassier's Magazine, "the cost would bo from twenty t fifty times gTeater than the methods now In general uso.'' Prevents Soiling the Fingers. If it were not for the delicious fla vor of sweet corn it might find Itsc'f barred from the table on account, of the necessity of holding it in the flu gers nnd gnawing the kernels from the cob, but it is loved too well to count It out of the hill of fare. Nev ertheless, a sigh of relief will folio the Introduction of the device pre sented In the drawing, as few people are so accomplished as to he able to eat torn from the cob in a daiLty manner. The picture shows fine pair oí hold ers la use and a second pair resting Forks Hold the Ear of Corn. on the plate in front of the ear Í corn. These forks have very short tines, arranged In a triangular man ner about the center, and are pro vided with rests, extending at tight angles from the handles. When in use one fork is fixed at each end of the cob, bringing the rests to an up right position to hold the ear on the plate. Hy turning either handle the ear can then be rotated for seasoning the kernels, and finally both handles are grasped to elevate the ear to the mouth for eating. If properly Insert ed in the cob there is ltttle or no dan ger of the forks becoming detached, and the ear can really be manipulated with greater ease by their aid than without thein. F. P. Pflegher of New Haven, Conn., is the owner of this device. Swimming Without Water. The thought of a bona fide swim ming match without the presence of water seems preposterous, but among the new inventions recently designed for the amusement and edification of tho human rare, is a device hy which it will be possible to hold a swim ming contest within the limits of a small hall. The device consists of a sort of a trolley arrangement supported from an overhead track. A sling on a stout spring Is arranged for the support of the person operating the machine, and the bands and legs are also sup ported by similar springs, lint of less tension. The supports meant for the hands are further supplied with a ratchet or pawl connected with the foremost of the two pairs of wheels running along the elevated track and in this manner the "swimmer" Is driven along by the motion of the arms. It is evident that the stronger and more skillful man will have the "Swimming" Through the Air. advantage in this kind of a contest, as he would In a swimming contest. Tesla at Work. Even since Mr. Tesla retired from the public gaze and hid himself in Long Island, he has been credited with performing strange feats. These rumors are at last confirmed. For some time residents about the labora tory have been startled by vivid flashes of light emanating from a tall lower erected by the Inventor. Just what this tall tower, and the gleams and flashes which come and go, may mean, no one knows; but it Is in ferred that Mr. Tesla Is bent upon 1m proving the present methods of tele graphing by Hertzian waves. Radium s Rays. M. Curie, the discoverer of radium, has found that the rays of radium coi or glass a violet blue. The present population of the United States is about SO.000.000, a few cf whom have not yet written novels. ÜMrago Evening Pest .i HERE. THERE. Score One for the Grocer. The little town of Mercer, Penn.. boasts a gre?n grocer with all the wisdom of Solomon. The other day a countrywoman, famous the county over for the quality of her butter, called on this old Silas Treevls with the odd request that he take a five pound roll of her making, giving her In place of cash, an equal amount of butter from his own stock. Knowing, as he did, that her butter was better than any he ever handled, and know ing tt, thrt she knew that it was, the olá fellow became somewhat sus picious and questioned the woman's motive. "Well, you see," she said finally "when I come to do the churnln' this week I found a mouse drowned in the cream, and somehow our folks feel kind o' offish about eatln' this here butter." "And do you expect mo to sell that kind of butter to my customers?" "Now, look here, Silas Treevls," said the old woman, "my butter's bet ter'n any your customers ever gets, and as for the mouse well, what they don't know won't hurt them." The old man took the butter and weighed it, went to his cellar, and af ter a little while returned with a roil of a somewhat different shape, rbut very much the same in general ap pearance, and this being satisfactory to his customer, she took it and went out. About a week later the country woman happened In again. "How'd you like the butter?" asked the old philosopher. "First-rate," replied the woman. "Folks eat it?" "Yep." 'Well, maybe you was right, after all, about what people don't know not hurtin' 'em. You et the butter with the mouse in it, after all. I jes' changed the shape of the roll a little." Racing Term A Hot Finish. Tricky Miss Dainty Foot. "Oh, dear!" said the girl with the protty foot, "my shoestring has come untied again, and it feels loose enough to drop off." "Let me tie it for yon," said hor ad miring and accommodating young es cort, and he knelt upon the step upon which the young woman had poisod a dainty little shoo, while she looked off into the distance, raising her fluffy skirts over so little that the offending string might be manipulated. "Can't you do it?" she queried a minute later, as there was no evidence of progress on the step. "Er er I" began the young man, and the girl looking down, blushed rosy red, ducked the small foot back into place again in a jiffy, and pro tested vehemently that she had for gotten entirely that she had changed the laced for the buttoned boots. Not Angling. "Well, there is one thing that can be said of Crawford. Although he went fishing himself on the Sabbath, bo didn't let his little sonHsh." "I am glad to hear that. Was the boy at Sunday school?" "No; baiting the hooks." y a. With complexion like the rose, 'Mid the snows Due to powder on her nose, I suppose She twirls upon her toes In abbreviated clothes, And exhibits spangled hose To the beans. Useless Irffort. The young woman who had con siderable time on her hands Joined the Young Men's Christian Association auxiliary, and was ready to enter into the work with great zest. The first notice she received read as follows: Meeting at 3 o'clock this afternoon. Come and pray for young men." She read it seriously, and then threw it to one side Irritably, with the remark: "I'm not going. I've been praying for a young man for three years, and I know It's absolutely no use." In Her Line. Wife (after returning from church) "You should have been in church this morning. We had a beautiful sermon." Husband 'I'll bet you can't repeat the text." Wife "Yes, I can. It was tho tenth verse ot the sixteenth chapter of Eze klel I girded thee about with fine linen, and I covered thee with silk." Husband Huh! It Is no wonder you remember it." r'.'lw v EVERYWHERE Why the Clergyman Treated. They sat on the veranda of the summer hotel in the dusk of the evening, gazing seaward and sipping through long straws at cooling drinks, and thoroughly enjoying their cigars. One of the men was a noted clergy man, whose sermons are quoted every Monday morning in many newspapers. Nautical Term. On the bosoni of a heavy swell What he sipped through his straw was orangeade. Ono of the other two was an equally well-known writer of historical novels. Tho third was a distinguished looking man whose occu pation was unknown to the others. All three had come together with tho easy good-fellowship only possible In such resorts. What the writer and tho stranger sipped was not orange ade. "Yes," said the distinguished look ing stranger, in reply to a remark from the clergyman, which had been seconded by the writer, "head work is, Indeed, very trying, and the men who earn their living by it need a vacation now and then." He smiled a little in the darkness, for the clergyman nnd the writer had lost no time in announcing their particular professions and in descanting upon its (lifiicultie:-,. "Yes, it is true," said the novelist, "head work is tho most trying of all, especially when the hours are long." "How many hours a day do you work?" a.d;eil the stranger. "1 always put. in six hours' literary work every day." said the novelist. "And you. sir?" "I f'.nd four hours of mental strain sufficient," said the clergyman. "So you've bin eoachln' the college ball team, hev ye? Wall, I guess yer had better keep yer hand in this summer an' drive the 'bus down to the depot and back." "And I work ten," remarked the stranger. "Really? Head work?" asked the clergyman and the novelist in chorus. "Yes; every bit of it." "Special or general literature?" "Neither. I am a barber," said the stranger sweetly, and he glanced al most longingly at the novelist's fa mous head of hair. The clergyman was the first to speak, and looking at the novelist he said: "Ah-h! Hem! To speak in the vernacular, I fancy that the the drinks are on us." "They are," said the writer. A Cautious Patient. Physician Your trouble is compli cated and I think you would better let me call two other physicians in consiiultatlon. Patient Very well, doctor. But you will have to wait until I can call some talent in to defend me. A Future Diplomat. "Remember, Willie, I told you If j you ate peaches and cream you could j not have the watermelon." "But, mamma," said little Willie, "I did not make up my mind that I wanted the watermelon until I finish ed the peaches and cream!" As Bad as Their Name. Small Louise lived on the river shore, where fresh fish and ugly blue green crabs were caught every day. Many a time she had watched Aunty Chloe and her daughter, Lily Bell, In the process of deviled crab making but had never known whence came the name. One day, however, having pur zled her little brain over the question and found no answer to the riddle, she ran to Aunty Chloe to see If she could solve the mystery. "Is debil crabs made out ub de debll?" "Naw, honey, chile, doy ain't," re plied the old colored woman, "but lommo tole you, dry am de débil ta make!" Making Her at Home. Mrs. Suburb (Joyously) "My dear, I've succeeded In getting a servant glrí at last. Go to the kitchen and klsa her." Mr. Suburb "Kiss her?" Mrs. Suburb "Certainly. I had .. promise that she should be treated a one of the fitn)y."