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"The habit,' quoted the young man with the red-rooster-decorated vest, 'oft proclaims the mail." "But." suggested the young lady with the lofty brow. "It doesn't always use a megaphone to do Its proclaim ing, does It?" Wincing under her sarcasm, he but toned up his coat tightly across tho attending garment, yet could not alto gether silence It. THE COLOR "Say, Sam, what color pecketbook Sam I'se not so partlc lar bout de Too Long to Walt. Tess Miss Brusk didn't hesitate to give his age as her reason for refus ing Old Munnybags. Jess Told blm to his face he was too old, eh? Tess Not at all. He swore he "would love and cherish her till death," and she told him he was too young. What's In a Name? ' The German emperor wan s his new yacht named Meteor." "Then why not tall it the Wiener wurst?" "Eh! Why should he call -it that?" "Why? Because It's meatier, lBn't It" Cleveland Plain Dealer. I'rtctlcal Demonttratlftn. Roderick I notice you uave been as sociating with that young bard of late. Have you learned anything about poetry? Van Albert Oh, a little. Since he borrowed that X I understand what the true poetic touch is. Itltcou raffing. Chollle I stood on the corner this morning, and of all the hundreds of women that went by I didn't Bee more than three that I would marry. Dolly And I suppose the number that would many you was a rood deal smaller still. HAD HEARD sssssssssssssaaa in IV- .31 Parson How did you like my sermon this morning? Miss Fidget I-irst rate. I always liked trial sermon. One- Bided. Jack Potts "My wife always com plains about my losses at poker." Bob Flush "But lBn't she. corres pondingly glad over your winnings?" Jack Potts "I suppose sne would be If I should tell her of them." Muscular Furee "I suppose strong drink brought you here," said the prison missionary. "it wuz sometbtn' stronger dan dat." replied Thirsty Thingumbob; "It wuz sl cops an' a patrol wagon." Pictorial Rumor Hart Head Ilia Verdict. "John Henry Muggins!" exclaimed his wife, at 3 a. m "Where on earth have yon been all this night? ' "At home, m' dear," asserted Mr. Muggins, observing with curious in terest the gyrations of the hall tree. "At home? Why, you haven't been near the house since supper." "Zhat's all riV was the strenuous response. "I wash wltzln ahignal dlsh tance all evenin , jush' shame!" HE LIKED. does yo' like bes'?" outside, so it's got green on de inside. FOR SAFETY. He I understand he's going to ma She What made him change bis He Her father promised to take IT BEFORE. fallod to Catch the Tub. A professor in an old Pennsylvania college was conducting a review In Latin. Of a sleepy-looking youth he asked the question: "What construc tion is at the top of page 12?" "I don't know," was tae prompt re ply. "Why tot?" thundeied the professor. "1 have been harping on that con struction all term. " "I know you have, professor," was the soft reply', "but 1 haven't caught the tune yet." now She Squelched film. He was a howling balloon of the Metropolitan club, and went too far. This is what he wrote ner: "It Is with the greatest difficulty that I have resisted the temptation to re spond to your frequent and pressing invitations to call on you at your home, and I feel that I shall not long be able to withstand them." And she replied: "I do not feel that I ought to add to your burdenB. but If you should succumb so far as to call, mamma will be delighted to see you." "There," said she, as Bhe splashed the mauve wax un the back and stamped it with her cuff button, "when that pricks through his thick skinned conceit he will not be able to sail around the Washington monument and back to the club In thirty minutes without stopping to pump up his tires." Washington Post. He Win'l Thankful. "Aren't you glad you are living In this age of invention?" exclaimed the thin man with the wart on nis nose. "Can't say I am," repl'ed the bald headed man. "You see, I married a widow, and she's got a phonograph that she is forever having grind out records that her first husband made!" A Critic. "What are you going to paint on this dazzling white canvas, may 1 ask?" "That is a finished painting, miss. It is entitled The Snow Storm. " "Why, so it Is! How stupid of me! Isn't It beautiful?" Truth anrt Eccentricity. Mrs. Hunt I suppose Jane Porter Is the most truthful person in town. Why, I verily believe she would tell the truth about even her age. Mrs. Pike That wouldn't be truth fulness; it would simply be eccentric ity. rry her, : fter all. mind? her away from the cooking schooT. Confining-. Plnchon Steele Please, kind lady, won't yer help a poor teller wat's jist gittln' 'round agen a'ter beln' confined to de house fur a year? Mrs. GoodBole Here, poor man, take this quarter, and what was your trou ble? Rheumatism? Plnchon Steele No'm. It was a bad attack o' kleptomania. Grocery Repartee. "If I had an engagement with you," said the clerk, "it would be this." And he gently placed a date with a peach. "No," answered the pretty cashier, "it would be like this." And she laid the date beside the case of canned lobsters. Ilia Taste I'ncertaln. "Pooh!" said Daisy, scornfully, "the idea of your being afraid of a poor old house dog! Why, he eats out of my hand." "I don't doubt it." replied Burroughs, dubiously, "but what 1 am afraid of Is that he might take a notion to eat out of my leg." Ills Idea or Friendship. "The beBt way to destroy your ene mies," said the man with a gentle nature, "Is to make them your friends." "Yes," answered Senator Sorghum thoughtfully, "but sometimes that costB a heap of money." Place and Greatness. Joe 1 paid $2& to get Into that vol ume of "Great Americans." Billy Well?" Joe All I .got was half a column alongside of a man who is the most notorious humbug in our country. Meek and Neck. Maud (at the reception) Poor dear Miss Pslllmmln Is the scrawniest girl here. Isn't she? Mabel J don't know. It's neck and neck between her and Fan Billlwlnk. Accused of Murder. Florence Burns, accused of the rattr der of Walter S. Brooks at New York on the night of Feb. 14, was ar'ralgne. Inst week. John Earl, night clerk M the Gler Island Hotel, could not positively Idcn tify the young woman as tae compan Ion of Walter S. Brooks on the nigh of the murder. He said that Brooki and a woman entered the hotel a about 9:45 on the night of Feb. 14 The woman, be testified, looked verj much like Miss Burns. He testified that Brooks registered M "J. Wilson and wife," and had hlret a room, one of the cheapest In th house. He rang a bell and told Georgt Washington, the negro bellboy tf show the coupie to room No. 12 on th third floor. About an hour later, he said, hli annunciator registered a call frotr room No. 12, upon answering wr.lcl aM the bellboy noted the odor of gas li the hallway and reported the fact t him. He sent the boy to lnvesttgati and the boy found the body of Brooks who had been shot in the back of th head. The woman had gone. George Washington, the bellboy a the Glen Island Hotel, declared witt great assurance that the prisoner at tht bar was the woman who accompanlet Brooks to room No. 12 of the Gler Island Hotel on the eventful night. The woman denies her guilt, an. further evidence must be forthcominf if the authorities hope to prove he: the murderess. Futrrt lira a I V zlers. Of the latest L'OO grand viziers o-ta Sultan of Turkey not more than twen ty-four. says a French statistician have died naturally. One hundred o tliein. be asserts, were poisoned, ant thirty- six of the others were tither be headed of drowned in the Bosphorus Of the remaining forty he hai not beer able to find any trace, but from the si lence of Turkish historians on the sub ect he concludes that their end wai not happy. One of the viziers wai only four hours In office, and anothei occupied the po.-ltion for only ten min utes. being strangled at the end o that time. "" (, Carnegie in Costume; This photograph shows the million aire's favorite dress. A i t-t .. for Mariners. The fiction of the mysterious load stone mouutain which drew the nal," out of ships that approached near enough, has u certain foundation in fact, says the Steele, only the fact har suffered by expansion. On the coast of Norway, near Joedern, there Is a sand dune of nearly three-quarters of a milr In length. The Band Is mixed with particles of loadstone, and when a ship comes In the vicinity the com pass becomes Irregular, and the ven sel is entangled in a kind of whirlpool and thrown ashore. Confederate Mossy In Cuba. It bus Just leaked out that our troop ers from the South expended Coiifedefi ate notes freely In Cuba during tin Spanish-American war. This trick wa originated by young men of the South em States, lu whose homes sundry trunkfuls of "Jeff Davis's money" had been lying Idle for some thlrty-thret yews. Tb Cubans weer easy victims. BEAUTIFUL GHSLOREN Hade Well and Strong by Pe-ru-na. A Doctor's Little Daughter Cured of Grip by Pe-ru-na. Dr. R. Bobbins, Physician and Sur geon of Muskogee, Indian Ter. , writes: " I have been a practicing physician for a good many years and was always slow to take hold of patent medicines, bat this winter my little girl and my self were taken with the grip. I was so bad I was not able to sit up. I sent for a doctor, but he did me no good. " Finally I sent and got a bottle of Peruna and commenced to take it. I took two bottles and my cough was gone and my lungs loosened up and my head became clear. My little girl took the same way. "It looked as though she would die, she was so sick, i gsve her medicine, but It seemed to do her little good, so I sent and got one more bottle of Pe runa and commenced to give It to her. It was only a short time until she was getting along all right, so I give your medicine, Peruna, the praise for what It did tor me and my dear little daugh ter." Dr. R. Rohhlns. money refunded. At all good Druggists or direct from us. Write for free booklet. EUREKA CHEMICAL CO.. - La Crosse. Wis. A BIRD WITH AN APRON. A Specimen of the Curiou3 Trz-joprn on Exhibition. One of the birds exhibited at the eportMiiien's show of the International Forest, Fish iirul (lame Association, ,it the Collsenm, has It in its power to do soiiietiiini: at n moments' notice any wealths ornithologist Iii ;br world would give a large stun of money to see. Some few men have sen the bird do the thing without paying any admission fee, but the records of the creature's act may be counted ou the lingers of one hand. The bird In Tenininck's lingopun, a species of plieiisiiut. Its benitly of plumage is beyond comparison with anything in art ami is rivaled lu its varied hues only by the feathers of the peacock untl the Argus pheasant. The tragopan bus rolled under its pflin like n tucked-up bib on n child, a feather apron. In the bird's normal condition this rolled apron practlcitlly is Invls. ble. nothing showing except n faintly defined line that seems to lie drawn across the raised surfaee tit Hie throat. On rare occasions the tragopan raises Its head, struts a little proudly anil then unrolls Its apron of feathers un til it covers the bird's entire trout. Stops the Cough and Works Oft tbo Cold Laxative Brumotu'iiiniue Tablets. Price -Zc. Dollle My mamma makes Fldo sit up and beg for his breakfast. Mamie Oh, my mamma makes my napa do that every day. Un. Wlnalow'e BooUiIdk Bymr- for children teeiiifnic wifterw. the umi, reduce. Itr Uisty Daia. curt:. wiuil colic aucauoMi At I'lcvuii. Kan., a "Joint" keeper cor nered the Itev. W. H. HuiiKton lu the postotBce and Informed the revereiitl Kciith-iiitiu Hun lie must take a lickiiie; mi ace unit of a temperuuee serinou which he hud preached the duy before. "All iiu Iii." responded the pursoii cheer fully, and two minutes later the frieuCs of the "Joint" keeper were taking hlru down to the butcher shop for the BV plication of beefsteak to a pan of beai tlful black eyes. Mrs. Schafer, 430 Pop" Ave., St. Louis, Mo., writes: "In the earl v part of last year I wrote to yon for advice for my daughter Alice, four years of afre. " She has been a puny, sickly, ailing child since her birth. She had convul sions and catarrhal fever. I was always doctoring until we commenced to ose Peruna. She grew strong and well. Peruna Is a wonderful tonic; the best medicine 1 have ever used." Mrs Schafer. Mrs. C. E. Long, the mother of little Mlna Long, writes from Atwood, Colo., as follows: " We can never thank you enough for the change you have made in our little one's health. Before she began taking your Peruna she suffered everything in the way of cough, colds and croup, nut now she has taken not quite a bottle of Peruna, and la well and strong as sue. has ever been in her life. the In not had the croup once since she began taking Peruna, and when she has a little cold a few doses of Peruna fixes her out all r ght. We can never praise it enough " Mrs. C. E. Long. Mrs. G. W. Heard, of Howth, Texas, writes to Dr. Hartman in regard to her baby girl, Ruth: "My little girl had some derange ment of the Bowels. She was a mere skeleton and we did not think she would ever get well. After giving her less than one bottle of Peruna she was sound and we I. Now she hat a good appetite and Is a picture of health. " Mrs. Heard also writes in regard to her son, Carl : "My son's ears bad been affected since he was a babe only a few months old. The last year I thought he had almost lost his hearing and had a local physician treating him tor about six weeks. Finally I began giving him your remedy, and after he had taken two bottles he was entirely cured, i cannot pralss Peruna enough," Mrs. Q. W. Heard. If you do not receive prompt and satis factory results from tho use of Peruna, write at once to Dr. Hartman, giving a full statement of your case, ant he will be pleased to give you his valuable ad vi e gratis. Address Dr. Hartman. President of The Hart.rp.r 'nnitarium, Columbus. O. DON'T STOP TOBACCO Suddenly. It injures the nervous system to do so. Use BACO-CURO ;nd It will tell you when to stop as it takes away the desire for tobacco. You have no right to ruin your health, spoil your digestion and poison your breath by using the filthy weed. A guarantee in each box. Price $1.00 per box, or three boxes for 2.50, with guarantee to cure or Ben rd less Barley la piodlgailj prolt.io, ihM ft.it iii 1001 tor Hi. Will., Orle4.ua Co., New York, lW buatlapar acre. Dot)! well ere ry where. That pay. 20th Century Oats. The oat mar d, producing from SliO to UOO boa. par aort. Balaer'a Uala arc war tauUd to prod ao great ' The I 8. Ac ! , i. aiU it. I.. the rerr baeil That pijt, mwwat Three Earud Corn, i KM to 160 lu. pr avre, te iiromdr ..otlublr if ma- I out iirlcceorooiD. fulcer'a iila product everT where. Marvel Wheat T !' i l. 1 i ii - J h t a it . iae I Tsar iteVeffheja, pr aare, Veeiej bat -if . lai.iai, i Maeva roulW luai.. i.i on our Ibj in. tU hue. ui a,re. That pay. Spelti. Greeteei oereel toed oa earth bee. fraln and 4 tone mafDlBeeot ha per eere. That pay a. Victoria Rape tnaku U poaalhie t grew Loga. abeop and cattle al a eeeter Lwiloalb. Met-fel-oualy erellOe, doee well ererywhare. That ear, Bromui Inermla. Moat wuederful eree' of the fcuterr. Produteaitoae of ha aim lou aud lot of paaturago beatdae par aare. Qrova wherever foil te fbeud. Baaser'a eed la wartanud. That aajre. 10.00 for 10o. ft w. .a ou a trr oaf great fertw a-da, eeuee offtr to eaud Q farm eeed F aajupiee, ooutaluiua Tboeaaad ' Haaaioil Kale. Uo.hu. Bape. Alfalfa, eaiaa. . to (fwllr worth r$0.UOUigaiealri loaa.bi-r with ear Ttea.Lo.lak"-, i r ray ivo poa. SaLZLR'S MAGIC CRUSHED SHELL! lest on curia eu ai sio per aw id. 11.76 lor 600 His. ; SK60 for 1 .000 lbs. GREGORY SeedSi Hold uiulfr 4 I ttul ran i a. Kriul for frr tatalotru.