The progressive farmer. [volume], September 01, 1886, Page 7, Image 7

About The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904

Image provided by: University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill Library, Chapel Hill, NC

                
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THE PROBESSTE .EARMER, :SEP3MBER1, MSfiT
K11S
"The most important thing in
connection with a house is the haul,"
remarked the burglar.
"Truth is mighty, but doesn't
prevail here," is what a Philadelphia
man has tacked above his gas meter.
The thing to say now of an ignor
amus is that he don't know on which
side his bread is oleomargarined.
"Those who use our goods are ;
very much attached to them," is
what a porus-plaster company adver
tises. :
A Kansas boy earned a nice Bi
ble by committing ten hundred verses
to memory, and then he traded his
Bible for a shotgun, and accident
ally shot his aunt.
A Nevada hunter spent three
months looking for a grizzly bear,
and the man's relatives have spent
three months looking for him. They
think he must have found the bear.
Lilla M. Cushman, the poetess,
says: "My back is almost broken
with this weary, weary load." She
ought to make her husband carry
up the coal.
"Bees unquestionably possess
the power of memory," says the sci
entific writer. So does the man on
whose neck bees happen to hold a
caucus.
"How can you think of calling
auntie stupid ? Go to her immedi
ately and tell her you are sorry for
it." Freddie goes to auntie, and says :
"Auntie, I am real sorry you are so
stupid."
"Now," said the bridegroom to
the bride, when they returned from
the honeymoon trip, "let us have a
clear understanding before we settle
down to married life ; are you to be
president or vice-president of this
concern?" "I wTant to be neither
president nor vice-president," she
answered ; "I will be content with a
subordinate position." " What is
that?" "Comptroller of the cur
rency." This happened one evening re
centty', not a thousand miles from
Cambridge. Two tricyclers chanced
to halt by the roadside for a brief
rest just as a group of Irish laborers
were passing on their way home
from work. Attracted by the bright,
new machines, two of the men
paused a moment to look at them.
"If you only had a trycicle; Pat,"
said one of the 'cyclers to the nearer
of the men, "you could' ride to and
from your employment." With a
contemptuous look at the combina
tion of man and wheels, Pat said,
"Do you think I come from the ould
country to drive a donkey-cart, be
dad, and be me own horse?"
A burglar was going through a
house in a Dakota town one night
and discovered an exceptionally large
roll of money. Curious to know
whether he had broken into an edit
or's house or that of some other va
riety of capitalist, he turned to the
owner, who had just awakened, and
said:
"Excuse me, Colonel, but I would
like to inquire how you came by
such an unusually large wad of
wealth?"
"Sir!" replied the moneyed man,
"I am a member of the territorial
legislature."
"A thousand pardons!" exclaimed
the polite burglar,, dropping the
money. "Shake! We never steal
from members of the profession.
Good night!" Estelline Bell. - - c ,
"Well, well, Jonathan, is this
reely you ? Never would o' kriowed
you. Don't think I've seed you afore
in ten years. How's, the world sarved
you, anyhow, Jonathan?"
"Bad enough, bad enough," replies
Jonathan, shaking his head sadly.
"Sence I see you last I've lost my
wife an' three children, had my leg
broke, my house tuk fire an' burnt
clean down, my Jarsey bull died, the
bank I had my few savins' in busted,
an' last year I got married again.
I've had my full sheer of afflictions,
Ihev, Silas."
"You hev, indeed," says Silas, sad
ly, as a lank, sharp-nosed, thin-lipped
woman put her red head but of a
window and cut the air with these
words: .1
"You come -'long here an'git me
some wood, Sile Hixonbr you clon't
git a bite to eat to-day! You Hear
me?" "We've both had our misfor
tins," said Silas, gloomily. Detroit
Free Press,
BUSINESS f
ESTABLISHED BY
J. P. NISSEN,
1834.
w
N MANUFACTURERS.
Works at Waujhtown,
Post Office Salem, II, C,
We now have on hand, a very large stock of Wagons made by EXPERIENCED
WORKMEN, of the
Best Materials Throughout
and cannot fail to give Perfect Satisfaction.
1
PERFECTLY WELDED
ysjli life ; '""'"riSi
u w . -1
We are manufacturer's agents for the COLUMBUS STEEL THIMBLE SKEINS,
and buying them in very large quantities, will put them on all Wagons, when
wanted, after this date without any extra charge. We have sold them to a great
many of our best men, and all are more than pleased. Don't let a few dollars in
duce you to buy a cheap Wagon, always get the best. We have
4 Larga Stock of W&gons
in the Warehouse in rear of Oapt. J. E. Gilmer's.
He will sell them at factory prices.
GEO. B. NISSEN & CO.
5-6m.
Miiit
Ware!,
WINSTON, N. C,
For the Sale of Leaf Tobacco.
BEST LIGHTED SALES-ROOM IN THE CITY.
Our Sales to date LARGER than any previous year since com
mencement. We guarantee prices at all times to be equal to those of any other
house in Winston.
Fn&liWi to mwhwi
Sold.
4-3ra.
COME TO
fti. W. WORFLEET CO.,
Proprietors.
SMITH &
THROWN
JLJJLVX- I I JL t
j- :. -. ;-. X '
1 (
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" I.
CnXviv 1
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THE LARGEST STOCK.-
Sell at Bottom Prices and Appreciate your Trade.
Mv. SWOrd. V i3 TTS T if
I ' We have recently doubled the capacity of our Store Room by making an open-
mg mio uie acyoinmg iore. lnis arrangement maKes our otore 4yxyu teet, ana
with Basements and Warehouse gives us every facility for displaying and handling
T Ci 1, WT U. i, '
DEST ARRANGED HARDWARE STORE
in this section, and can now wait upon our Customers with greater ease and dis
patch. , ; . ' t ': ' ) 5 ?
Our Stock shall be kept up to our lull capacity, and we will maintain our repu
tion for keeping
m
'Arm s r
Ma
IN WESTERN NORTH CAROLINA.
We beg to call attention to the following leading Divisions or Departments o
our business :
HARD WARE.
Here will be found everything for the BUILDER AND MECHANIC, both in
Tools and Material, and a varied Assortment or everybody.
STOVES.
In this Department we have met with great success ; in 1885 our sales reaching
in the aggregate NEARLY FOUR CAR LOADS. The House Keeper looking
for a Stove unexcelled in Baking qualities, and to be "a joy forever," will find here
the thing sought for, and a LARGER LINE OF STOVES than any house displays
in Winston.
FARMING TOOLS.
In one or two weeks we shall offer for BOTTOM PRICES 75 Clipper Plows, 100
Farmers' Friend Plows, 125 Single and Double Stock Plows, also 30,000 Black
Steel Plows, (our own Shapes.) Of Handled and Eyed Hoes we will have from 100
to 150 Dozen, of best quality. Also full lines of Spades, Shovels, Forks, Mattocks,
Scythes, Straw Cutters, Corn Shelters, Reapers, Mowers and Threshers.
HARNESS.
We have engaged the services of an experienced Harness Maker, and will man
ufacture everything in that line. Will carry a full stock of Saddles, Wagon and
Buggy Harness, Leather, Trimmings, Buckles, Bits, Hames. fcc, &c.
PAINTS, OILS, &C
We carry Lewis' White Lead, 'Lucas' Ready Mixed Paints, Best Grade of Colors,
Linseed Oils, &c.
4:3m.
MACHINERY.
This Department is under the management of
Mr. JNO. I. NISSEN. We are prepared to give
favorable terms and prices on every kind of
Machinery, Mill Supplies, Wrought Pipe, Belting,
Oils, &c.
County, a 50 Horse Boiler and 35 Horse Engine
ana otner jiacninery, maKing one 01 tne largest
4 and finest Planing and Saw Mills in this vicinity.
? T1 J xi x ...
naiiH hiiu esiimaies given at any time.
r Write for Prices and Circulars before buying.
T i. C X" 1 . 1 1 v .
xesi 01 reierenues given as regarus me emciency
of our Machinery.
BROWN, ROGERS & CO,
viusTon, u. c.
-CORNER 3rd AND MAIN STRBETS,-
WHOLESALE AND RETAIL DEALER IN
ID CICKiY,)
-EMBRACING A FULL AND COMPLETE STOCK OF-
ALL THE VARiSB C-Q0DE2 ELQOT5 TO THESE LINES OF MERCHANDISE.
Iron, Steel, Nails, Horse and Mule
Shoes, Agricultural Implements, Cham
pion Mowers, Reapers and Binders,
Farmers' Favorite Grain and Fertilizer
Drills, Hunter's Genuine Farmer Friend
Plows, Double and Single Plow Stocks,
Steel Plows, Heel Screws, Grass Rods,
Shovels, Spades, Forks, Handled and
Eyed Hoes, Mattocks, Grub Hoes, Leader
Corn Shelters, Thomas' Smoothing and
, Pulverizing Harrows, &c, &c. In short
about any and every thiug in the shape
of a tool or implement needed by the
Farmer. : '" .
-" III (;!!
BUILDERS MATERIAL.
Sash, Doors, Blinds, Glass, Paints, Put
ty, Oils, Varnishes, Locks, Hinges, Bolts,
Screws, &c, &c.
MECHANICS' TOOLS.
Leather and Rubber Belting, Disston's Saws, Hahimers, Augers, Chisels, Auger
and Gimlet Bits, Planes, Bench Axes, Hatchets, Mitre and Beveled Squares, Bor
ing Machines, Chisel Auger, Plane, Saw and other Handles, Files, 4&c.
WAGON AND CARRIAGE MAKERS' TOOLS AND MATESIAL.
Anvils, Vices, Drills, Bellows, Screw Plates, Axles, Springs, Bolts, Hubs, Spokes, -Bows,
Wheels, Poles, Shafts, Oil Cloth and Carpet, Columbus Steel Thimble Skeins,
Cast Skeins, Enameled Dash and Harness Leather, fcc. ' j
HOUSE FURNISHING GOODS.
Farmer Girl Cooking Stoves, Heating Stoves, a full line TINWARE, Coffee Pots.
Cups, Pie Plates, Dish Pans, Buckets, Wash Pans, &c, Brass Kettles, Shovels and
Tongs, Fire Dogs, &c. ;
f c f T SPORTING GOODS.
r 1 I Guns,Pisiols, Towder Shot, Caps, JCartridges, &cM &c. ' !
flSCELLANEOUS GOODS. ' :
Tacks, Rivets, Files v Gun Wads, Cutlery, Bells, Dippers, Curry Combs, and a
vast variety of other articles too tedious to mention. '
(CROCKERY. DEPARTMEN T.e j
Embracins a full line of sYellowf and Cj C. Warel White Granite or. Iron Stone :
China, "Porcelain, French China1 Dinner and Tea Sets, Cliamber and Toilet Sets,
-' -r- ji 1 1 Til n r
Lamps, ana juamp uooas, joiorea ana nam vjiassware, i urawew, viouieis, olv. 1
In fact any and. everything- usuallykept, in a firt-cls llard ware and Crockery J
Store and AT JrJilUJilJir YlAW1 t ,
AGE N T- FO R-N ISSE N - W-AG0NS
'4-3
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