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THIS C OMMOWffEALTP TDK COMMONWEALTH, 7 Scotland Heck, n. a An vmconipromising Democratic Jour nal. I "ubhshed every Thursday morning. HE wealth AdrertlslMg; Rates t J. 4?. NEAL, Manager, 1 inch 1 week, 1 " I month, 81.00. $2.50. Subscription Bates ; E. E. HILLIARD, Editor. "THE LAND WE LOVE." Terms : $2 00 per year in Advance. Contracts for any space or time may be made at the office of The Common wealth. Transient advertisements must be paid nr in advance. i Cov1 1 Year. 6 Months, i $2.00. $1.00. VOL. I. SCOTLAND NECK, N. C, THURSDAY, JULY 12, 1883. NO. 45. Common i y For Dyspepsia, CoitlTeneai, Sick Headache, Chronic Diar rhoea, Jaundice, Imparity of the Blood, Fever and Ague, Malaria, and all Diseases m JET caused by De- ranger aent of liver, Bowels and Kidneys. SVrP TOMS OF A DISEASED LIVER. Bad Breath ; Pain in the Side, sometimes the rain' is i felt under the Shoulder-blade, mistaken for Kheum itism; general loss of appetite; Bowels c-neral y costive, sometimes alternating with lax; the ha' a is troubled with pain, is dull and heavy, with o ' Misiderable loss of memory, accompanied with a lainfu! sensation of leaving undone something which' jught to have been done; a slight, dry cough anJ fli ished face is sometimes an attendant, often mistak en for consumption; the patient complains cf wea riness and debility; nervous, easily startled; feet a -Id or burning, sometimes a prickly sensation of th skin exists; spirits are low and despondent, and, a though satisfied that exercise would tie bene ficial, ' yet one can hardly summon up fortitude to it- -in fact, distrusts every remedy. Several of the above symptoms attend the disease, but cases have occurred when but few of them existed, yet exarai nation after death has shown the Liver to have 1 een extensively deranged. It sh ould beosed by all persons, old and yo ling, whenever any of the above symptoms appear. Pi rsons TraveUng bes lthy Localities, by or Living' in TJn- y taksnz a dose occasion ally to keep the Liver in healthy action, will avoid all '.tlalaria, Bilious attacks. Dizziness, Nau sea , Drowsiness, Depression of Spirits, etc. It will 1 invigorate like a glass of wine, but is no in to! xicatlng beverage. '''if Tou have eaten anything hard ot digestion, or fed heavy after meals, or sleep- lii ?S8 at night, take a dose ana you will De relievea. ime and Doctors Bills will be saved by always keeping the Regulator in the House! I or, whatever the ailment may be, a thoroughly jAfe purgative, alterative and tonic can -ver be out of place. 1 he remedy is harmless ad does not interfere with business or leasure. IT IS PURELY VEGETABLE, nd has all the power and efficacv of Calomel or Q! uinine, without any of the injurious after effects. A Governor's Testimony. Simmons Liver Regulator has been in use in my ilamily for some time, and I am satisfied it is a aluable addition to the medical science. J. Gill Shorter, Governor of Ala. Hon. Alexander H. Stephens, of Ga., ivs : Have derived some benefit from the use of Simmons Liver Regulator, and wish to give it a further trial. " The only Thins that never fails to Believe." I have used many remedies for Dys pepsia, Liver Affection and Debility, but never lyiave found anything to benefit me to the extent iimmons Liver Regulator has. I sent f-om Min lesota to Georgia for it, and would send further for uch a medicine, and would advise all who are sim- larly affected to give it a trial as it seems the only I hing that never fails to relieve. f. M. Jannht, Minneapolis, Minn. Dr. T. "W. Mason savs: From actual ex- jjienence in the use of Simmons Liver Regulator in land prescribe it as a purgative medicine. ay practice 1 nave been and am satisfied to use tgSTake only the Genuine, which always has on the Wrapper the red Z Trade-Mark and Signature of J. II. ZKIL.II? & CO. FOR SALE BY ALL DRUGGISTS. GENERAL DIRECTORY. SCOTLAND NECK. Mayor W. H. Shields. Commissioners--Noah Biggs, M. Hoff man, 11. M. Johnson, K. Allsbrook. Meet first Tuesday in each month at 4 o'clock, P M. ' Chief of Police R. Jt White. Assistant Policemen - C. W. Dunn, "W. E. Whitmore, C. Speed. Sol. Alexander. Treasurer R M Johnson. Clerk K. Allsbrook. CHURCHES : Baptist J. D. Hufham, D. D., Pastor. Services every Sunday at 11 o'clock, A. M., and at 7, P. M. Also on Saturday before the first Sunday at 11 o'clock, A. M. Prayer Meeting every Wednesday ' Vt 2-.V.-.i-.l rn QnV.VintK mr.TTl- 1'riiuiti.re B&ptist Kid. Andrew M i' i-tor Services every third Saturday anu Sunday morning. Methodist Rev. C. W. Byrd, Pastor. Services at 3 o'clock, P. M. on the second ind fourth Sundays. Sunday School on Sabbath morning. Episcoual Rev. H. G. Hilton. Rector. j Services every first, second and third Sundays at 10J o'clock, A. M. Sunday I School every Sabbath morning. Meetine of Bible class on Thursday night at the residence of Mr. P. E. Smith. Baptist (colored,) George Norwood. Pastor. Services every second Sunday at 11 o'clock, A. M., and 7, P. M. Sun day School on Sabbath morning. o COUNTY. Superior Court Clerk and Probate Judge John 1. Gregory, nferior CourtGeo. T. Simmons. Register of Deeds J. M. Grizzard. Solicitor A. J. Burton. Sheriff R. J . Lewis. Coroner J II Jenkins. Treasurer E. D. Browning. Co. Supt. Pub. Instruction D O CUr-v Keeper of the Poor House John Ponton. Commissioners Chairman, Aaron Pres- con, sterling Jonnson, Dr. W. R wood, John A. Morfleet, and M. mteneaa. Superior Court Every third Monday in March and September. Inferior Court Every third Monday in xeDruary, Alay,August and November Judge of Iuferior Court T. N. Hill. JUST THE PAPER THE PEOPLE WANT ED. OLDHAM'S WESTERN SENTINEL,! (Established 1852.) Should be Read at Every Fireside Western North Carolina. in Full of News, Fun, General Information and Something to Interest Everybody. SEND 50 CENTS AND TRY IT THREE MONTHS WINSTON, N. C. NOTICE. V E have one hundred town lots for sale m this town. Some of them are very desirable. This is a rapidly growing town, and persons wishine to secure good places for residences and bus iness stands, and to make good invest ments, will do well to call on us. KITCHIN & DUNN. July 5th, 1882. -v NORTH CAROLINA RIVERS. M. V. MOORE IN HARPER'S MAGAZINE. Carolina 1 Land of waters ! Here the strangest rivers are : Arrarat and Alligator, the famous steam of Tar. Broad and Rockey here are rivers ; here are rivers old but New, Yellow, Black, and silver Green, and Whiteoak, Bay an Reddie too , Here the whirling, wild Watauga, leaping Elk, and crooked Toe, Tahkeeostah.f by the Paint Rock, and the wingless Pigeon's How, Tennessee and swift Hiawassee, gulf ward all through mountains go, Where the Cherokee still lingers is the nimble Nanthala. In the land of Junalnskee is the Valley, gurgling gayly. In the dismal lake-land is the viney fes tooned fecuppernong, In the cloud-home and the sky-land Swannanoa skims along, In thh pine-lands over marl-beds ruby wine-like Cashie creeps, In the fern-land from the balsams Tucka- seegee grandly leaps, Here Oconaluftee laughs, and wee Cheo- wee frets and clashes, And 'mid towering canons Linville's sil very spray spurts and slashes, And here John with sands all golden, 'neath the Rhododendrous dashes. From Virginia come Meherrin, Nottoway, the deep and slow. In the gray and yellow hill-land, where tobaccos golden grow, Tubling Dan and Mayo, Fisher, Mitchell, Flat anl Eno, go. Here is Yadkin winding ever like a ser pent 'mid the hills. Here Catawba, pearly pebbled from a thousand brawling rills. Here's Uwharie with its hurry, here the lazy Waccamaw. Here are heard the humming spindles on the busy Deep and Haw. Here in the field and Swamp and forest are the Lumber and Pedee, And upon her breast Coharie, Colly and the Mingo wee. Here the Cape Fear's storied waters grandly go to open sea. Here Contentnea and Trent, pouring into Neuse, find Ocraroke. Where the herring comes in spring time are Chowan and broad Roanoke, North and Newport, Yeopim, Pongo, Pasquotank, and Pamlico, Pcntiego and queer Perquimans here the millions come and go. Dripping, gurgling, gushing, rushing, tumbling, creeping so they be, Carolina's Matchless rivers from their fountains to the sea. The Indian word is Torpoeo, or Tau- queoh. fThe Indian name of French Broad The original Indian is Saxapahaw. FLIRTATIOUS MARRIED WOMEN. No class of the women of the beau monde do more harm than do those married women who amuse them selves by carryiiig)Ji.uharmless flirtation" a designation which rS&-f misnomer, for no flirtation can be harmless where one of the parties to it is a married woman. There may be nothing essentially vrong in the affair ; no harm may aecrue either to her or to the man upon whom she ex ercises her power of attraction ; but her husband is made unhappy and she becomes the subject of unpleas ant comment. It is frequently said that pretty j'our.g married women are much more attractive to gentlemen than it is possible for j'oung ladies to The reason assigned for this is that men can talk to them with less restraint, can adopt towards them free-and easy tone, which renders them agreeable companions. The truth of the matter Is. that men may with impunity lavish upon married women attentions which, if offered to single women, would be decidedly committal ; and as society men are not often burdened with money, and are not prepared to set up establish ments of their own, tbey avoid the so ciety cf young girls, and, joining the train of some gay young matron, are contented with such crumbs of com fort as she sees fit to bestow upon them. It is almost incomprehensible that any man of sense should be wil ling to become one of this retinue, who are permitted to carry my lady's shawl, or hold her fan, in return for assiduous devotion ; but they are flattered by such distinction it makes them fashionable. No unmar ried man should be blamed for carry : ... . - mg an a nirtation with a . married woman, when 6he takes the iniatia tive ; bat a woman shou'd be censur ed who, having voluntarily exchang ed the freedom of girlhood for 'the responsibilities of a wife, di sregards her husband's claim on her time and attention, and fritters them awar in a sillv flirtation with some man, who while professing ardent adoration. secretly condemns her, and perhaps ridicules her at his club. If a woman feels that she is unwilling to relin quish the attention which as a girl was hers bj right ; that the devotion of one man cannot compensate her for that wnich she gives up in marry- i ma him, sue snouia remain unmarri- ed ; but, being married, let her con tent herself with the admiration of her husband, and cease to desire that of other men. I do not mean to imply that because a woman is married she should be isolated, and in society relegated to the companionship of her husband. There is a certain kind of attention to which married women are entitled, and which they mar re ceive without provosing comment. Talented,attractive women ma3r draw around them men of intellect, wel come them to their homes, and make themselves the centre of a cultivated circle ; may show that they take pleasure in their society, and may accept their chivalrous attentions in a pleasant, frank manner, without being at all flirtatious. But when married women permit men to pay them fulsome compliments, to make lover-like speeches to them, and to show them marked attention, they depart from that matronly dignity which is one of their greatest charms. It is alleged by those who seek to ex cuse the flirtations of married women that it is vei v hard for a woman who has once been a belle to do without admiration ; and another excuse, that perhaps the husband is lacking in de votion, is uninteresting, and so she seeks the companionship of men who are interesting. Although a gradual diminution of affectionate attention on the part of a husband is a great srrief to a wife, it does not warrant her iu engaging in a flirtation as a cure for ennui. There are other more efficacious methods of dealing with recalcitrant husbands, and while a loving wife who is neglected always elicits sympathy, sympathy gives place to censure if she becomes a flirt in order to avenge her wrongs. No woman whose love for her husband is true and deep will care for the atten tions of other men ; she may like to look well,; and endeavor to be bright and attractive in society, but neither by word or look will she encourage any approach to a flirtation. Women who do encourage such advances have much to answer for ; they not only wreck their own happiness, but they exert a perniciojjglnnuence over those vritjirilonTthey come in con- I tacJr.-u'nd lower all women in the opin ion of men. If a young man sees that his friend's wife prefers his so ciety to that' of her husband, he re flects that were he to become a "Ben edict" in .his turn, very probably bis wife would prefer other men to him, and he concludes that he is much jappier as a batchelor, spending his evenings in the society of the wives of his friends, since he is so cordially welcomed. Married women who are flirts are often unscrupulous, and in stead of being the advisers and coad jutors of young girls in society, they become their most dangerous enemies if they think that their preserves are beine trespassed upon. Married wo men should be a power in society, they should take precedence of young girls by reason of their knowledge ol the world, their savoir f aire, their superior wisdom ; but when they ex change the title of "mademoiselle' for that of "madame," they should make their tutelary divinity Pallas Athene instead of Aphrodite. San Francisco Argonaut. BOOTH'S HABITS. Booth iqade comparatively little money in Europe, and the rewards of acting there are very inferior to what they are in this country. He is content, however, to exercise his mind in distant countries without too low attention to pecuniary profits It is impossible for him to drink even a thimbleful of liquor, and he knows it so well that he derives but little enioyment from his stomach or senses. He may touch a little beer now and then. In early life he drank hard, and it is said that his mind grewclearer, like has father's, a lie drank the more, but the death of his wife in Boston, whale he was playing . ' i . "Hamlet" for sixty nights in New York, awoke him to the feeling of re gret and self-correction. It is the gossip that he was in love with an actress named Ida Vernon, and having had a quarrel with her, met his first wife, the mother of his daughter, Edwina, in a Southern theatre, and hastily married her. His second marriage was not a happy one, his wife being jealous and some what sitting on his spirits, and, to wards the end, there was more than indifference, some say real dislike, between the two. He is a widower for the second time. New York Let ter in Philadelphia Times. A LONG NAP. In the Arms of Morpheus from Christ mas Till Near Independence Day. Newtown, Con., ) ' June 30,4883. A singular case of lethargic exist ence is now the talk of Newtown. The sleeper is Sherman W. Piatt, who has always resided with hia father, Mr. Wenzer Piatt, a well to do farmer whose place is located four miles distant from Newtown Centre. Young Mr. Piatt is a well built man, about thirty five years of age. He had always assisted his father in thel working of a large farm. During the spring of 1882 he was attacked with malaria, and while he was treated for it and appeared to have recover ed, was never since wholly free from its effects. With the arrival of sum mer he worked on the farm, display ing few' comatose sj'mptoms, and during the haying period, was as ac tive as any. One day, however, he was affected more than usual by the heat, and, while not overcome by it, lay down on the hay under a tree to rest, hoping to feel better after a short nap. It proved to be a long one, however, for although his days of consecutive sleep did not then be gin the influence which tended to make protracted sleep possible, in stituted its work. While under the tree the belief is entertained by his mother that he suffered sunstroke for on being removed to the house he acted and trilked strangely, and never since seemed to' be himself. Whether it was4nalaria, sunstroke, or the two combined that produced his preseiifcondition or not, certain it 13 that, after last Thanksgiving Day, (November 30), he kept himself aloof, remained most of the timelof the States named. within doors, and a few days before Christmas sank into a deep sleep in his bed, continuing there until the atter part of January, scarcely changing his position or recognizing persons in attendance and not once rousing trom his stupor, lowaiu spring there was a slight change in the sleeper, which was manifested by an inclination to move, but he did not open his eyes, and during three months since his semi -unconscious ness set in he has eaten- scarcely enough to sustain life. SINGULAR SYMPTOMS. What influence kept life in him is more than anyone can tell. He was bolstered up in bed, still with closed eyes, and mouth sealed against speech. He expressed by sound or motion no evidence of suffering, and his silence seemed to indicate that his wish was simply to be left alone, Later he was assisted to a sitting position, but ih?. affectionate words ..f h?c relatives were uttered in his purs in vain. At last he was taken from the bed and his clothes put on This was brought about with difflcul ty, as he was like one with no life no muscular power. In April he be fron t.i wnlk tremblinsrlv. at first v - i holding on by articles of furniture. on1 nft.Arward he could stand and walk alone. No kind appeal sue ceeded in drawing from him even the reply of a sylable.. As the days came and went he walked from his bed to the chair and back again to bed. Daily, like an infant, he was dressed and undressed. Evidences nf TPtnmin? strength have been a w" marked since the arrival of warm wpat.hp- but reason onlv in part. A wbilp hp. scented the wav to th household pantry, and he has since, at nearly regular int rvals, oscillated between the chair and cupboard shelves. When mc ving, bis eyes have apened partially, and he has uttered involuntary words oaly, but none which could be understood or accepted as intelligent. On rising in the morning after sleeping soundly at night, he is regularly dressed,like a baby, and led to his chair, where he immediately sinks to sleep. When hunger prompts, he rises, proceeds to the pantry, eats, returns to the chair, sleeps and when night comes is undressed and goes to sleep again. In winter and early spring, or before the nature of his strange case was known, many visitors were admitted to see the person who could sleep so long and live, but of late no one is allowed to see the patient save the immediate members of his family. The period of his lethargy at this writing, covers 191 days. N, Y. Herald. JOHNS HOPKINS AND THE SOUTH. The board of trustees of the Johns Hopkins University, at Baltimore, make an announcement which is of interest to North Carolinians. It is to the effect that in accordance with the request of the founder of the Uni versity twenty scholarships, called the "Hopkins Scholarships," freeing the holders from charges for tuition, were opened at the commencement of the University to young men who need the assistance, and that proba bly an equal number will be annual ly bestowed. The scholarships will be distribut ed among such candidates "from the States of Maryland (including the District of Columbia), Virginia and North Carolina as may be most de serving of choice because of their character and intellectual promise." No publicity will be given to the names of those who are appointed or rejected, but a private annonneement will be sent to each successful candi date. These scholarships may be held for four 3'ears, but are liable to be forfeit ed because of deficiency in attain ments, or of uuworthy conduct. In addition to the scholarships above named, eighteeTTilOZlOrsry Hop- I kins scholarships have been institut ed for t-iie encouragement of conspic uous merit among undergi aduate students who regularly matriculate. Six of these scholarships will be annually offered to such candidates from the States of Maryland, Virgin- ia ana jNortii Carolina as may oe most deserving of choice because of their character and intellectual prom- r 1 1 l 1 1 1 . nf lse. i wo scnoiaisnips win De oner ed annually to candidates from each The value of each scholarship will be $250 per annum and free tuition : and in case the holder of a scholar- ship withdraws from the University, for any reason, during the course of session, such part of the allowance will be paid as seems equitable to the executive committee. We do not know that any North Carolinian has ever taken advantages of these opportunities provided by Mr. HoDkins. but that thev are val- uable there can be no question. Johns Hopkins is now one of the leading universities of the country, and is a university in the best sense of that word. Neivs and Observer. HE WOULD BE A GENTLEMAN. The other day Miggs came down town, and jubilantly announced that there had arrived an heir to the "exoods, chattels and choses an ac tion", of the firm of Miggs and his wife. "What is it ?" inquired one of the sympathizing friends. "Girl, by gum !" joyfully remarked Miggs. "Aw!" said several of the crowd contemptuously, and then they derided Miggs. "as men will do," for not starting his family with a boy, who won Id tie tin cans to dogs' tails and grow up to be a president. The rallying of his friends made Miggs feel like he had committed a crime. Just the.', old Major De Baligeithy drew Miggs asile and said "Mine friendt, ven dey meek zo mooch fun mit you like dot, I del you vot you do. You dell dem dot ven your poy lie do coom ! he will pe a snenuemans, ui hc unu aside and let de ladies pass f ust .'" i .i ... K.titi Qfnm' Th Migrr reioined the crown n anA flrinlf hpfir at the expense o some other fellow all day. Georgi Major. THE POSITION FOR SLEEPING. A German, Baron Reichenbach.has occupied many years in studying the art of bed-making.or rather bed-place-ing, and maintains that improperly placed beds will shorten a man's life. He says : If a mere magnet exercises an influence on sensative persons, that earth's magnetism must certain ly make itself felt on the nervous life of man. In whatever hemisphere you may be, always sleep with your feet to the equator,- and let your body lie as "true as a needle to the pole." The proper direction of the body is of the utmost importance for the proper cir culation of the blood, and manv dis turbances in the organisms have been cured by simply placing the bolster at a different point of the compass from that it had occupied. Let such as have hitherto been in the habit of sleeping with their head where their feet ought to be, take to heart the ex ample of the late Dr. Fischwester, of Magdeburg, who died recently at the age of 109 years. The most unhealthy position, we are told, is when the body lies east and west. Some ob servers assure us that to sleep in such a posture is tantamount to commit ting suiciae, ana that diseases are often agravated by deviations from the proper posture. Ex. EARTH'S RICHEST GOLD MINE. A Bonanza in the Transvaal Unpre- cedentedly Rich Quartz. From Colonies and India. The property in the Transvaal.from which we reported some time ago on good authority, that enormous quanti ties of gold reaching in certain cases as much as 1,000 ounces to the ton were likely to be taken, has been ac quired by an English company, whoae engineer and geologist, sent out to examine the prospects of the under taking, have sent home most satisfac tory reports on the subject, "Two diggers," says one of them, "employ ing seven Kaffirs, had just cleaned up for the weefe-YSStj -three ounces of goia, ana tneir means oi woi-ii.mg-most inefficient. It is bv far the rich est place I have ever seen, and the amount it will produce is something fabulous." One large reef has been discovered running through the prop erty and traced at the surface for oyer two miles. A series of trenches, cut through it at the surface, prove the width to be from two feet to eighteen feet. This reef is composed of quartz, strongly charged with Iron, some of which, having been washed, has yielded very fair prospects of gold sufficient, as estimated, to produce trom two ounces to three ounces to the ton. The engineer is of the opin ion that this reef, when developed to a debth of 50 feet to 100 leet, will prove of more value than the whole of the smaller veins at present being worked. Some quartz reefs which have been already partially worked erive. according to tue ameers, zuu ounces to the ton. The proportion, indeed, is what they admit having got from the quartz which they pick out in their sluicing. Besides the quartz there is a large quantity of al luvial soil, some of which is reported to contain the extraordinary quantity of an ounce and a half to the cubic yard. If these prospects are realized in practical working the Lydenburg Gold-fields majr claim to rank among" the richest in the world, even if the exceDtional return of 1,000 ounces to the ton should, in full working, be reduced in practice to the 200 ounces which pioneer diggers have realized, or even to one-tenth of that propor tion. Some of the alluvial washings on the "Lisbou" property have been proved to yield the unprecedented quantity of 1,900 ounces of gold to the ton. According to the certificate of the aseayers, the average yield of thirty eight samples, taken under the supervision of the late Gold Commis sioner for the Transvaal under the Bristish Government, is forty-eight and a half ounces of silver to the ton or ore. The refuse, till recently thrown away by the miners on the spot, contains sufficient gold to pav a handsome profit on the working of the stuff. A New York Justice has sent a woman to Blackwell's Island for six months because she shook her fiHt at him. A Justice of l he Peace has big advantages, compared to a married man, . x WHAT IS ART? Let us compare the answers to this question given by two eminent French artists of our day. "Art," says M. Harvard, "is the pursuit of the beautiful." So also says the Dictionary of the Academy, or to the same effect. But M. Harvard qualifies the beautiful. It is not, he explains, something outside of us objective ; it is subjective altogether. Whatever excites the sentiments which harmony, elegance, grace usu ally excite, this is beautiful. The beautiful exists only to the degree these emotions are aroused. To call them forth is the end ot art. The definition of Eugene Veron is not very different. It is this : "Art is emotion translated either into com binations of lines, forms and colors, or into rhythmical movements.sounds or works." The measure of excellence tf a given work of art is therefore the de gree of power with which it expresses the emotion which called it into exis tence. The methods by which it does this are of little moment. Nor does it aim at anything beyond. When it represents the amotion of the artist, when it evokes the same in the ob server, its mission is ended. SUBJECTS FOR THOUGHT. It is an argument of a candid, in genuous mind to delight in the good name and commendations of others ; to pass their defects and take notice of their virtues ; and to speak or hear willingly of the latter ; for in this in deed you may be little less guilty than the evil speaker, in taking pleasure in evil, though you speak it not. Appearances seldom ought to de termine our judgment. When the honor, probity, or reputation of some one is the matter in question, it ought not to be pronounced without a thorough investigation of the subject ; and in that cas Suspicions" are never certainties. -0ple who do great and heroic things are not people who neglect little duties and go about looking for adventures, they are people who are always steady in doing the duty that lies next them. Church Mes senger. "Home Sweet Home." When Mr. Topnoody had settled down af ter supper Thursday evening, his wife, after a few preliminary coughs, remarked : "Mr. Topnoody, have you thought anything about where we would spend the Summer ?" "Yes, my dear, I have given the subject some deliberation. "And have you decided on a place. dear ?" "Yes, love, I have." "Oh, you sweet thing ! Where is it to be ?" "At home, love ; thie dearest place on earth, the conservatory of our af fections, in which bloom the freshest fairest flowers of hope and happini88 contentment and satisfied serenity. Drummer. "RiomT Smart" Means Four teen. Among the peculiar South ern phrases that have been grafted on Western slang is "right smart." It has always had an indefinite meaning, but a recent trial for tres pass in Calaveras Co., Cal., defined it precisely. It seems that the hogs of one ranchman had ravished the field of a neighbor. A witness swore that he saw the band of iutruding swine, which he decribed as a "right smart chance of hogs." When asked to put this into figures be declared that in Arkansas or Missouri it means fourteen. The Judge so charged th3 jury, as the witness wa9 acknowledged to be an expert on the subject, and they brought in a verdict of full damages- for the plaintiff. San Francisco Chronicle. The Proof-Reader's Gloom : Mr. Blaiue will write a book Mr. Conkling's goose to cook, With seven hundred more or less of pages; Then Conkling he'll another Write, our Mr. Blaine to bother ! Oh, whmi will sin begin to get her wages? Louiscilh Courier Journal. The aoodness of gold is tried by fire.' the -goodness of woniH by gold, and the jjooyness of men by women.