Corvallis gazette. [volume], November 09, 1900, Image 4

About Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909

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SORROW IS BUT FOR A DAY.
Let us dream let us sing by the way,
"Sorrow is but for a day!"
The world is rolling beneath the blue
With ever the sweetest of songs for yon,
And answered shall be the prayers ws
pray:
"Sorrow is but for a day!"
The rivers in music say,
"Sorrow is but for a day!"
The hills and the rills the song repeat
To the listening violets at your feet,
And the high stars sing on their heaven
ly way:
"Sorrow is but for a day!"
It is but for a day for a day;
It will fade it will vanish away;
And over the darkest the thorniest sod.
We shall reap in the beautiful lilies of
God.
And the wearisome winters shall blossom
like May
"Sorrow is but for a day!"
Frank L. Stanton.
A Thunder Shower. J
HE sun was shining brightly
j when Lucy Manning went down-
town, and it was oppressively
hot, but she looked dainty and cool in
her crisp ruffled lawn and white hat.
Having bought a few yards of ribbon,
a shirtwaist, "marked down to half,"
and an ice-cream soda, she started
home. The trolley car was almost
empty and she took a corner seat, near
the front.
Suddenly the sky grew dark, light
ning flashed, thunder roared, and rain
came down in torrents. The conductor
struggled nobly with the curtains, but
before Lucy's were down she was- wet
through. She looked at her gown sor-
"lHKBK'S THE GLOVE I LOST LAST WIN
TER." rowfully; the color was running; it was
ruined. She minded the gown's plight
more than her own.
"What a pity," she said to herself; "I
was sure that it would wash."
Just then a tall, good-looking young
man appeared at her side.
"Good-morning, Miss Manning," he
said; "pardon me if I offer you my over
coat. You will catch cold in that thin
gown, I am afraid."
Lucy drew herself up haughtily. "No,
thank you, I shall do very well as I
am."
"But I insist," and LawTence Fulton
dexterously wrapped the coat around
her. Then he sat down on the same
seat, but so far away as to be almost in
a puddle. Lucy eyed him furtively.
"I don't care if he does get wet,"
thought she. "Mean thing. I wonder
how he happened to have his overcoat
with him this hot day."
Presently her conscience began to
trouble her. "Mr. Fulton," she said,
"why don't you sit farther over this
way? You are in the wet."
"I am perfectly comfortable. Miss
Manning, thank you."
"That's absurd," answered Lucy.
"You are almost in a puddle."
"It doesn't matter," said Lawrence.
"Nothing matters now," he added, half
under his breath. But Lucy heard him.
although she gave no sign.
The car sped three blocks, but neither
of the young people said another word.
At Superior street Lawrence arose,
bowed, and left the car.
"Goodness," exclaimed Lucy, almost
aloud, "he has left his overcoat." But
the car was already at Chicago avenue.
When Lucy arrived at her getting-off
place the rain had ceased. She emerged
from the overcoat a much-bedraggled
object. "I feel like a freak," she said
to herself, impatiently, as she walked
two blocks in her wet and spoiled
finery, with the heavy overcoat on her
arm. The sun had come out again and
added to her misery.
Arrived at home, arrayed in dry gar
ments, and, happily, feeling none the
worse for her wetting, she ruefully
surveyed the overcoat.
"I suppose I must send it back; he
will never come for it after last night."
She shook it out, preparatory to fold
ing it, and a long white glove fell to the
floor.
"Why, there's the glove I lost last
winter at the McDonald's dance," Lucy
cried. "Stupid boy, to take it and car
ry It around." But her heart softened
a little. "That was the night after he
asked me to marry him. O, we had
such a good time at that dance."
"Lucy, have you heard the news?"
cried a younger sister, bursting Into the
room. "Grace Anderson is engaged to
Mr. Worthy."
Lucy gasped. "Who told you, Molly?"
"Grace herself. She was here this
morning. I can't stay to talk now. I
want to tell Frances," and the Impetu
ous young lady whisked herself away.
"And to think to think that I sent
Lawrence away because I thought that
he and Grace were were too much
together. Sam Worthy is Lawrence's
best friend, and of course he was nice
to Grace. And he wouldn't tell Sam's
secret even to clear himself. O, dear,
dear!"
"Mr. Fulton, ma'am; come for his
coat," said a maid, at the open door.
"I'll see him, Nora."
Lucy gathered the great coat in her
arms and carried it to the drawing
room. "Miss Manning," said Lawrence, as
he came forward, "why didn't you send
it down by Nora? It was inexcusable
for me to leave it on your hands, but I
forgot r7 about it"
BOAT THAT IS INDEED AflPHIBIOUS.
This is a peculiar boat called "a warping barge" that is in use on British
Columbia rivers. Navigation on many of these streams is obstructed by falls and
rapids over which it is impossible for a boat to pass. The Alligator crawls around
these obstructions in the manner shown in the picture. It is a flat-bottomed
craft with a strong winch and cable in the bow. When it is necessary for the
boat to make a trip overland the cable is carried out ahead and hitched to a tree,
the steam winch is started, and the winding in of the cable pulls the boat ahead.
"About me, too?" asked Lucy with a
blush.
Lawrence started. "Lucy, what do
you mean?"
"What I said. Did you forget me?"
"My every thought was of you,
Lucy."
"Well, I forgive you, Lawrence. I
don't like quarrels."
Lawrence was wise enough to accept
"forgiveness," and to assume that it
covered last night's offense as well as
to-day's."
By and by Lucy asked curiously,
"How did you happen to be carrying
that heavy coat on this hot day?"
"O, that's easy enough, dear. I was
bringing It home from the office for
mother to pack away In camphor or
something. She asked me to do it way
last April."
"Just like a man," commented his
fiancee, sagaciously. Chicago Tribune.
POSTOFFICES OF THE SEA.
How Mail Matter Is Taken Care of on
the BiK Ocean Liners.
A work with which but few persons
are familiar is that performed by the
men of the postal department of the
big ocean liners. Twelve hours for
each of six or seven days occupied in
passage, they labor on a pitching, toss
ing vessel in a small space about fifteen
feet square and three stories high.
Electric lights gleam night and day In
the compartment where the postal
clerks work, for It Is hard enough to de
cipher the addresses on the foreign mail
matter, even in the light of years of
experience. The sea postal service is
now in its tenth year and is in opera
tion on twelve trans-Atlantic vessels. It
has proven such a success and is of so
great an advantage in expediting the
foreign malls that the government is
considering the establishment of the
service in other vessels.
The postal clerks are usually located
in a small room below the berth deck
with low ceilings and narrow berths.
In this compartment the separation
racks are placed. The compartment of
the racks are labeled with the principal
cities of the country towards which the
vessel is bound, and It is the duty of
the postal clerk to have all the mail
delivered to the ship upon leaving port
ready for distribution when its destina
tion is reached. On one side of the
room is a separation table on which
registered packages are sorted and
which holds a small pair of scales for
weighing them and stamps for marking
supplementary mail.
One deck below, reached by a narrow
companion way, are the newspaper
racks great iron gridirons with big
yawning sacks of canvas suspended be
neath. Into these pouches the third
and fourth class mail matter Is thrown
with marvelous precision and rapidity.
A trap door In the third floor leads to
the cellar of the floating postoffice, one
deck lower, and here the bags of mail
are deposited when the ship leaves port.
As fast as a dozen or so are emptied by
the men at the separation table and
distributed at the cases, another bunch
is hauled up. Thus hour after hour, in
fair weather and foul, toil the men who
earn their livelihood by facilitating the
exchange of news, of business matters
and other expressions of the human
emotions. It Is no sinecure to hold the
position of postal clerk and great ex
perience is necessary to enable one to
fill the place properly. The worth of
good men is appreciated and the gov
ernment pays well for service in this
line. ,
STYLISH HATS
INTERIOK VIEW OF A SEA POSTOFFICE.
ARE AUTHORIZED BY LAW.
Traces' Organizations Have a Lesal
Standins in New Zealand.
Trade and labor are organized
throughout New Zealand, and as such
are recognized and legalized by the
state in the act of 1894, says the Lon
don Daily Mail. The very title of that
act, though not changed, originally rah:
"An act to encourage the formation of
industrial unions;" and the whole spirit
of the movement is that both employers
and workmen should form their unions
and associations on representative lines
under the provisions of the act, and
that all questions should be dealt with
by the unions and societies up to a cer
tain stage, and then brought by them,
and them only, before the boards of
conciliation, and ultimately, if neces
sary, to the arbitration court.
The trade and industrial unions of
New Zealand are required to comply
with all the ordinary business safe
guards which should surround the cor
porate bodies which they form, and then
but not till then they are registered
by the state and placed in a position to
act and be heard in Industrial disputes.
Penalties are attached to all breaches of
the provisions controlling the unions,
and in some cases to enforce the award
of the court they are heavy, the maxi
mum being500foreach union,nd fail
ing the recovery of this there falls a
maximum liability of 10 on each mem
ber of it.
The effect of this registration is to
make the union and all its members
subject to the jurisdiction established
by the act, and although the registra
tion may be cancelled on the applica
tion of any union, this is done under
due safeguards; and no cancellation Is
permited during the progress of any
conciliation or arbitration proceedings
affecting the union which applies.
Neither does such cancellation relieve
any union or its members from obliga
tions incurred in any previous award of
the court. No workman may leave his
work, or employer lock out his work
men during a dispute.
A Singular Occupation.
There is a celebrated cook in London
about whom it is said that he makes
an income of over ten thousand dollars
a year. He is attached to no house,
but In his own brougham sets out
toward evening for the house of some
rich man who is going to give a dinner,
at which every dish must be above
criticism. Here he alights, and, mak
ing for the kitchen, goes through the
process of tasting all the soups, sauces
and made dishes advising when his
palate suggests a little more salt here,
a pinch of herbs there, a dash of sugar
In this entree, a suspicion of onion In
that salmis, etc. This done, he pockets
his fee of twenty-five dollars and drives
on to the next dinner-giving patron who
has bidden him to his feast in this
strange fashion. His nightly list com
prises many houses all through the
London season.
Siberian Gold.
There are now about 40,000 miners at
work in the gold, mines of Siberia. The
grains of Siberian gold are said to be
on an average larger than those of any
other part of the world.
A great deal is said about the notori
ous lack of moral courage in men. The
women are nearly as bad; when a.wom
an is carrying a package of dry goods,
and goes into a rival store, shy nearly
always hides it.
FOR FALL,
OUR BUDGET OP FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO
INGS HERE AND THERE.
Jokes and Jokelets that Are Supposed
to Have Been Recently Born Say ings
and Doings that Are Old, Curious and
Laughable -The Week's Humor.
Old Lawyer How'd I get my start?
Well, shortly after I was called to the
bar a rich uncle died and I came into
possession of a cool hundred thousand.
Young Lawyer (in surprise) But I
never knew you had a rich uncle.
Old Lawyer I didn't say I did; it
was a client's rich uncle who died.
Puck.
Ideal Happiness.
She What was the happiest moment
of your life?
He Well, I think it was one evening
last week when I entered the parlor of
my boarding house and saw a strange
sign on the piano.
She Indeed! And the sign?
He "Closed for Repairs."
What Can Yon Expect?
Maudey I hear youse is engaged ter
git married.
Mickey Well, wot's er man ter do
when he's out er work an' desprit?
Query.
Guard Somebody jumped off the
bridge, but I don't know if it was a
man or woman.
Friend But you say you found some
of their clothes. Can't you tell by
them?
Guard No, I only found a shirt
waist. Chicago News.
Legerdemaia. v .
Mrs. Von Blunrer Dear, dear, I
dropped my diamond ring off my finger
this morning and I cannot find it any
where. Von Blumer It's all right, I came
across it in one of. my trousers' pockets.
Harper's Bazar;
Equivocal.
"Rastns, are you really as fond of
watermelon as they say you are?"
"Who, me? Watermelon? I des
can't a-bear it in my sight!" Indianap
olis Press, i : - ' '
- Not the Same.
Friend Did Fortune smile on you?
Rejected Suitor Well, she gave me
the laugh, if that's what you mean.
Syracuse Herald.
Mot Exactly.
When a man drinks like a fish it
doesn't follow that he's in the swim.
Philadelphia Record.
No End to It.
Amateur Sportsman Is this a good
place to hunt for reedies?
Native You bet.' You could hunt here
straight ahead for a wek.4
Amateur Sportsman You don't mean
it, really?
Native Yes, 'cause you'd never find
any. Philadelphia Press.
Melancholy Mudd And I can't hold
more than half of it!
Failed to Turn It Down.
Tess I never saw anyone so slow as
Mr. Timrus.
Jess He is slow, isn't he?
Tess Awfully. We were sitting in
the parlor last night, and he suddenly
said:
"If you could only see how much I
love you I'm sure you'd let me kiss
you." I told him "I couldn't see it in
that light," and he just sat there like a
stick. Philadelphia Press.
The Difference.
"The difference between the cow and
the milkman," said the gentleman with
a rare memory for jests, "is that the
cow gives pure milk."
"There Is another difference," retort
ed the milkman. "The cow doesn't give
credit." Indianapolis Press.
Nothing Doinsr.
Biggs Hello, Boggst Just the man I
wanted to see! I'm just back from the
Paris Exposition, and
Boggs Sorry, old man, but I haven't
got a cent!
As to Popularity.
Summer Boarder Your charges are
exorbitant
Landlord Jes' so.
"But you advertised popular prices."
"Yes, they seem to be popular. The
house is full right along." New York
Weekly.
Her Preference.
Jack Don't you think that woman,
as a rule, prefers a man who is her
master?
Ethel Not at aH. She prefers one
wAo thinks he is The Smart Set
Sad Fate of Ancestors.
"I teU you, golf is going to be the sal
vation of the nation. It is going to
make athletic men and women out of
our puny offsprings and lengthen our
days by decades."
"But our ancestors didn't go in for
golf."
"And where are they now? Dead! AH
dead!" Boston Journal.
Of Lo n j-: n e.
"Darling, you ought not to be seasick
yet We are not nearly out of sight of
land. Look and see!"
"I see it, mamma. That's
what makes me want to die!" Chicago
Tribune.
Hts Idea of institutions.
The Orator My friends, the trusts
are engaged in a dastardly attempt to
destroy our institutions!
Weary Watkins Well, I hope they'll
stop at tearin' down the penitentiaries
an' leave the porehouses alone.
Too Many Cooks.
Aunt Mallndy laid down her rolling
pin, set her hands on her hips and de
livered herself of this proud bit of wis
dom: "Great trouble in dis world is, dey is
too many people who don't know
enough to be fust cook an' knows too
much to be second." Indianapolis
Press.
Took After Papa.
Sister-in-law How like his father the
baby is!
Mother He's certainly like him in
some ways. He generally keeps me up
half the night. Punch.
Must Be Broad-Minded,
Mrs. Dinks Isn't Colonel De Fite a
very broad-minded man ?
Mrs. Links I supposed he must be;
the jokes he gets off are always so ex
tremely broad. Detroit Free Press.
A Tip Exclusively for Married Men.
Mrs. Henpeck I have no control over
my husband at all any more.
Mrs. Wunder What's wrong?
Mrs. Henpeck He secured a certified
copy of the census enumerator's rec
ord, showing that I had given his name
as the head of the family. Baltimore
American.
No Matches Needed.
"Mamma, I heard somebody to-day
say that matches were made In heav-
en;. how about that?"
"I believe that is the fact, Willie."
"Well, what in thunder do they want
matches there for if there's going to
be no night there?" Yonkers States
man. Old Sea Dog.
"There are so many barks on the
sea," remarked the girl who was lean
ing over the rail.
"Perhaps they come from the ocean
greyhounds," ventured her tall com
panions'Philadelphia Record.
. Evidence.
Bess They say Maud Goody kissed a
man at the Joneses' lawn party the
other night.
Jack That's true.
Bess How do you know?
Jack I had it from her own Hps.
Philadelphia Press.
Mistaken Identity.
"Your honor," said the lawyer, "my
client acknowledges that she struck
the book agent with a piece of gas
pipe, but she pleads that it. was a case
of mistaken Identity,"
"How's that?" asked the judge.
"Well, she thought it was her hus
band." Baltimore American.
Can't Touch Him.
Smythe My wife dropped In to see
me at the office tOrday and
Browne Sorry, old man, but my wife
saw me before I left home. I haven't
a cent to lend. Philadelphia Press.
Had a New Start.
McJigger Jigsby's turned over a new
leaf. He says hereafter he's going to
work with a will.
Thingumbob Yes, he has to; he was
left out of his rich uncle's. Philadel
phia Press.
Should Have Suspected.
Towne That was a rather disreputable-looking
man you just spoke to.
Browne Sir. That was my brother.
Towne Oh! beg pardon. I migh
have known that Philadelphia Press
Both Felt the Loss.
Watts I think 1 feel as bad as Mudge
does over his losing his job.
Potts I feel worse he has already
touched me for $10. Indianapolis
Press.
A Partnership Concern.
"Are you interested in your wife'i
Indian corner?"
"Yes; I get off war whoops over the
money she spends." Indianapolis Jour
nal. Knew the Gun.
Sympathizing Friend Weren't you
awfully scaied when you saw that the
fellow took aim at you with a gun?
Pawnbroker's Man I was at first
until I recognized the weapon as one I
had sold the day before. Then I saileu
! in nml knocked the stuffing out of him
Unsatisfactory From the Start.
"Well, what about the new neigh
bors?"
"Oh, Edgar, it was the meanest mov-ing-in
I ever saw. Everything was
boxed and barreled up so I couldn't see
a thing they have."
Was Too Mild.
"I'm writing to Sam about his hay
fever."
"Why, what of It??
"Why, when he was here I thought
he made too much fuss about it; now
I have it myself, I want to tell him that
he didn't make half fuss enough."
Indianapolis Journal.
When Missionary Boxes Are an Insult.
There have been missionary boxes
sent to the heroes and heroines of the
church, fighting her battles in the van,
that have done more harm than g&od,
in hurt pride and damaged self-respect.
To a lady and a gentleman I use the
terms advisedly were sent clothing,
old shoes, old hats, old collars, cravats,
gloves, fit only for the ragbag. Ashamed
to send them anywhere else, the donors
sent them to the unknown missionaries,
and as everything that came to the
church to be sent was jammed in with
out care or discrimination, the arrival
of the box partook of the natiire of an
insult to these heroic, gently-bred peo
ple. Fortunately this state of affairs
is not often found; it ought never to be.
Ladies Home Journal.
Oysters Must Have Salt.
Oysters cannot live in the Baltic Sea.
The reason is that It is not salty
enough. They can only Uve In water
that contains at least thirty-seven parts
of salt in every 1,000 parts of water.
Little girls and boys don't know
what trouble is. Why, you can pull
their teeth with a thread!
STRUCK EDUCATED CHINAMAN.
The Mistake of a Green Reporter In
Getting- an Interview.
Numberless are the tricks whlcl
newspaper reporters play upon one an
other to.relieve the somber "grind" of
their calling. Two young men employ
ed on a morning paper in a large city
were detailed one day to call upon the
resident Chinamen and "interview"
them respecting some immigration
measure then pending in Congress. One
of the two reporters was a beginner and
the other, an experienced man, natur
ally assumed the management of the
assignment
"Billings," he said, after they had in
vaded several laundries without any
important result, "here Is a tea store.
I wish you would go in and talk with
the proprietor. I want to know what
he thinks about Chinamen voting. I'll
go and pull off an interview with the
man who runs this cigar shop next
door. Remember to use the very sim
plest English at your command."
The young reporter went Inside the
tea store, took out his notebook and
thus addressed the proprietor, who hap
pened to be alone at the moment:
"John, how ? Me me Telegraph,
John! Newspape savvy, John? News
pape print things. Un'stan'? Me want
know what John think about Chinamen
vote, see? What John think China
man vote all same Melican man? Sav
vy, John? Vote? What think?"
The Chinaman listened to him with
profound gravity until he had finished,
and replied:
"The question of granting the right of
suffrage to Chinese citizens who have
come to the United States with the
avowed intention of making this coun
try their permanent home is one that
has occupied the attention of thought
ful men of aH parties for years, and it
may become In time one of paramount
importance. At present, however, it
seems to me there Is no exigency re
quiring an expression of opinion from
me upon this subject. You will please
excuse me."
The young reporter went outside and
leaned against a lamp post to rest and
recover from a sudden falntness that
had taken possession of him. His com
rade had purposely "steered him
against" one of the best educated Chi
namen in the United States. Youth's
Companion.
Bird Music.
In bis "Recollections of an Old Mu
sician," Mr. Thomas Ryan tells of the
effect produced by a violinist on a fam
ily party of Indians who occupied the
front seats at a concert in Topeka, Kan.
I was told there was a father with
six sons in the party, all very large
broad-shouldered men. They filed
quietly Into their seats, preceded by a
local guide, in whose hands they seem-
sd like good, docile children.
One can never know what they
thought of us, but one can do something
in the way of inference. They sat quite
immovable in their seats, with their ox-
llke eyes fixed on our party while we
played serious music. No shadow of
-motion could be seen on their coun
tenances.
The fifth number of the program was
a violin solo by Mr. Schultze, and for an
ncore he gave a little caprice, entitled
'The Bird in the Tree." . The moment
Mr. Schultze began this piece the In
dians wTere all alive, their eyes sparkled
with pleasure, and they nudged each
ather with their elbows; and when the
little bird melody and imitations of
bird-singing began they looked aH
iround the ceiling and the walls, doubt
less expecting to see singing birds flit
ting about.
Not seeing any, they looked at the
violinist and began to. understand that
le was the magician. The surprise, and
ilmost incredulity, depicted on the
faces of these children of nature was a
rare show in itself. At its conclusion
they jumped up and down, Just as little
hildren do 'when something unusual
pleases them.
Opportunities in Samoa.
Somewhere in that mysterious part of
the South Pacific Ocean, where one day
merges into another to keep chronom
eters straight and to keep mankind
from trouble In marking the flight of
years, lie the Samoan Islands, three in
number, of which the smallest. Tutu
ilia, is the property of the United
States. The recent division of the Isl
ands, which are connected with the
United States and with Australia and
New Zealand by regular mall steamers,
has assured their future. Tutuilla,
which is as large as the State of Rhode
Island, contains many acres of the rich
est soil, and would make a fruitful
dwelling place for 100,000 ambitious
men. It could be converted into vast
plantations of coffee, vanilla, tobacco,
cocoa-nuts and dozens of other native
products, while a thriving town could
be made to flourish beneath the flower
clad trees on the beach.
Apia, in Samoa, is one of the most
prosperous towns in the south seas, and
its future is assured. It was in the
hills north of this place that Robert
Louis Stevenson, after roaming the
earth for a paradise, found one. It wa.
there he died. Success.
Russians Praised.
A writer in the Contemporary Review
passes this strong eulogy on the charac
ter of the Russians: "I found that the
Russians by temperament were with
out exception the gentlest most easy
erninsr and humane nation in Europe,
and I have seen them all. Their defects
are many, but the leading feature in the
Russian character, high and low. which
stands above faults of which they have
their full share, is an enthusisastic,
generous humanity, easily moved to
:irinss and tears: full of expansive
gratitude for kindness; free from mean
ness, nettiness. and cunning greed. In
short, it struck me, the more I contem
plated the Russian character, that they
were the only people In Europe who
possessed several of the better charac
teristics of ourselves. The Russians are
not so fond of fair play, not so truthful,
not so energetic, not so manly as we
an": hut. on the other band, they are
Hess hypocritical, more truly modest,
krentler. more tender, more truly re
ligious, more humane, and less brutal
land violent in every way.
A boarding house keeper who buys
.the best butter, never gets credit for
anything but butterine.
Experience is the pay a man gets for
making a fool of himself.
COMB TO APPLY CURATIVES.
English Device for Treating the Scalp
with Liquids.
With the use of the appliance here
illustrated curative essences of solu
tions can be applied to the scalp with
out moistening the hair above the
roots. The back of the comb consists
of a curved metal tube closed at both
ends by screw stoppers, which can be
removed to facilitate cleaning. The
teeth are so many tapering tubes,
screwed or soldered into holes in one
side of the back, and from the center
ENGLISH DEVICE FOR TREATtNG SCALP.
of the opposite side of the tube extends
a screw socket, to which a nozzle car
rying a flexible ball can be attached.
The extremities of the tubes forming
the teeth are preferably slightly fused,
so as to form around them small thick
ened rings to prevent their scratching
the scalp. The nozzle is of such a
length that it can be held firmly be
tween the thumb and forefinger, while
the bulb can be placed in the palm of
the hand and squeezed with the other
fingers to force the liquid through the
teeth on to the scalp. The inventor of
this appliance is Henri P. De VogeJ
-f Surbiton, England.
Laurence Hutton is preparing a vol
ume of papers to be called "A Group ol
Players and Other Sketches."
Hervey White, author of "Differ
ences," has two new books ready for
publication "Quicksands," a novel,
and a volume of short stories.
Gelett Burgess is to call his new col
lection of verse, consisting largely of
lyrics from that defunct eccentricity,
"The Lark," by the title of "A Gage of
Youth." Some hitherto unpublished
verses are included in the volume.
Like forensic eloquence, judicial hu
mor is something peculiar to itself. Re
cently Justice Day, of London, electri
fied the court by asking, "Who is Sher
lock Holmes?" It is a kind of tradition
with her Majesty's judges to know
nothing of popular literature, or of af
fairs that are known of everybody.
Who knows not Sherlock Holmes?
Well, Justice Day does not, and there is
the humor of it. The counsel who re
plied to the question explained that
"Sherlock Holmes" was the name of
a book, which it is not. It looks as if
the eounsefwas determined to be in the
humor, and not show more knowledge
than the julge. That Dr. Conan Doyle's
hero who solved so many mysteries
should become a mystery himself is a
pleasant circumstance.
In August expired the copyright in
Balzac's works, and whatever may be
the views of his fellow-authors as to
the iniquity of robbing the dead author
of his copyright the natural man will
welcome with some not unnatural sat
isfaction the prospect of a varied choice
of new editions. Till recently the only
choice lay between the rather bulky oc
tavo edition and the cheap and handy,
but exceedingly ill-printed and ill-looking
little yellow volumes. Latterly,
however, his publishers have vouch
safed a rather better-looking cheap edi
tion in 1-franc form, which, moreover,
had the additional advantage of con
taining at the end of each volume a
table showing in what other novels of
the "Comedie Humaine" the characters
of that volume reappeared. Only those
who have tried to trace for themselves
through that mighty maze the complete
history of Balzac's various heroes and
heroines can fully appreciate the boon
of this help.
Varnished Wall Paper.
Varnished wall paper has many ad
vantages, and especially in a dirty,
smoky town, for it can be washed with
soap and water and be perfectly clean
without any expense. For halls, bath
rooms and children's rooms varnished
paper"br painted walls are recommend
jed; the former is especially durable,
and if the varnish gets shabby another
coat may be applied. After a case of
infectious illness in a house where ex
penses have to be considered, one fully
appreciates a varnished room. Ths
walls once washed with proper disen-
fectants, the great expense of repap
ering is saved, the first outlay in this
treatment of the walls Is decidedly
heavy, but It yields excellent interest
Mistress and Maid.
;'Of course, Susan, if you Intend to
get married, that is your own busi
ness," said the mistress to the -cook.
"but you mustn't forget that marriage
Is a very serious matter."
'Yes, ma'am, I know it is, some
times," remarked' the domestic, "but
maybe I'll have better luck than you
did." Tit-Bits
Tabloid Restaurant in Paris.
A restaurant for cencentrated food is
to be started in Paris by an enterpris
ing French chef. The happy diner will
enjoy a menu of tabloids. From the
hors d'oeuvres to dessert his entire
meal will be presented to him in a few
square inches.
On Her New Dress.
"Here, waiter, you have charged for
three consommes instead of two." "Yes,
sir; there is the one. I spilled on mad
sine's dress." Journal Amusant