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ROSEBUR OIEG-OlSr. SATORDAY, SHPIi. 14, 1878,-
W. II. WILLIS, - r.nd Counselor at Law. bur, Oregon aurant r.c:23ur.o, oitEOCtf, CHAMPAGNE, Propnc . If ErsUcUsa house ia Rose bug ti-t ,:r.v.mi -P.'0SI3IlliAIL . to.., Tli9 Cat badwate dealer in Umpqaa Valley, ia the Brick Building, A3 RECEIVED. AND IS NOW REs ceivl 2 j caa i.f the most complete t CCi.8 ci . . iLOR&OniGB -UUUililiUi STOVES, VA-A: Cf the IIt Improved Patterns ever re . ceived in this city. AsiJ tc.idei has the most complete stock of :1A Qzz.cr'ali Hardware, y' Aal mnuf ictures everything la the line of TIN, SIIKET-IRQN & COFPEEWARE Is a wo :k!imatilike manner, and on most reosonsbla terms. Iron, Steel and Hails Always on hand, and in" qa nlitiea to suit. ITotico ' . .a O! Sle in tie matter of the estate of Laren ! Davis.. "."rYiTr3 ; tq TTtT-'p'Si'Tiv- rjivrrv TttiT hy the County Court of Donplas County Oregon, I wi'll on the fifth day of October A. 1., 1878, at ohh oclock in th afternoon at the Court boase door, in Roaeburg Dulas County, Oregon, sell at public auction, for cash in hand to the highest bidder, subject to widow's dower, the nils lowing described real estate ' belonging to "tha Eatat of Laren Davis, deceased, to-wit. The Donation Lmd Claim of Robert Mc V9 onniainnty 110 anA ftOth orrnB- nil .V.. maw. T K j f rn atiitn T.nn1 statin rtf Kcbrt Phipps, that lies nor.k of the South ' lTmMit.riTn wintniinniT lvfl BCTca ninrrt nr i liea the S H quarter of ec 28, Frac N E quarter of St 34, N VV quarter, rac S W quarter and N half of S K quarter, N VV quarter of J E quarter of Sac J$i..VV. half of 13 half and N K qu irte of N 5B quarter of Bee 27 of T 28, 8 of R 6, W of Wiliaraettee meridian, oontaining 032 and 18 100th acres and cotvaining iu the aggregate 1, 01 and 40 lOOih acres mrre or less, j All ot said : lnd b eing Bit na ted in Douglas Coanty, Oregon. FRANK DAVIS. Administrator of the estate of La; en Daris, deceased. ". Rosebtjeo, Ogn., Sept. 2, 187d P0 UNDSY AND MACHINE HOP, B.-F. DRAKE, PROPRIETOR, SALEM,' 3REOON " f TEAM l, rSuirsi!iS,SAV allLLS.UKIST Iw Mills, Ilea pent, Pumps, and ftll kinds and styles of Machinerym&de to order. Ma. ehinenr repaired at a short notice. Pattern - making done in all its various forms, and all kinds of brass snd iron castings fur- ciahed at short notice. Also manufacturer t cf I3aterprif e Planer and Matcher, and Cisiekers and Sharpers. IIOTICI!. Placer Mining. U. S. Lasd Office, ) ROSEBTJKG, OB.f r TTOTICE 13 HEREBY (J1VEN THAT Xa D. A. Levens, whose postoffice ad draia is ; Canyonville, Douglas county, State of Oregon, has made application for patent for place- claim; io. 37, in the Ureen Mouotai . Mining District, Bituated la Douglas c unty, Oregon, on unsurveyed lands describi as follows : Beginning at the junction cf Brandy Gulch with Hogaui erf ; k 89 the iaitlftl point; thence N. 2 dfr gti: .-a, 3 minutes, 6.50 chains, to a yew pest 3 feet long and 4 inches in diameter, marked on four Bides, -M. 5.," also "C," and "Z7" set for N. E. orner claim as post No, 1. thence S, 8.50 chains to pott No. 2; . thence S. 20 degrees W 10.50 chains to post No. 8;, thence S. 19 00 chains to pot Na 4; thence S. 16 degrees E 10 00 chains to post No. 5; thence S 30 degrees E 6 55 chains to post 6; thence W. 3-64 chains to post Ho, 7; thence N. 80 degrees W 5.55 chains to post 8; thenae N 16 degrees VV 10.00, chains to post 9: thence N. 19.00 chains to post No. 10; thence N 20 dejtrefs li 10.50 chains to post No. 11; thence N. 8.50 chains to post No. 12: thence E 3.74 chains to post No. 1; being the above de ciribed yew pos2d.. initia point of b ginsing and containing twenty acres ac cording to plat of survey filed in the Regx Ister's ofSce by Surveyor General ot the Ctateof Oregon. The foregoing described claim of D. A, Levensis of recoid; the said applicant, D, A Levens, having acquired the said claim by purchase from John Stephens, who pur chased the same from Joseph iiamsey, the original locator: all of which is a matter of record in tho recorder's office of Douglas county, Oregon; and now known as "D.A. Leven's Placer Mining Claim," joined o the east, south and wvst oy unsurveyed -Government land, and on the north by ground clai n-ed by L. D. Montgomery. - All adverse claims must be died in the Unitwl States Iaod Office at Roseburg, OregoD, on or before the expiration of this notice. ItH hereby ordered that the above eoUcw bo -published for rixty days in the Douglas Independent, a wek!y news paper published at Ruselurg, Oiegon. ' Given uudt'f mr hand this 5th of Au ait, 1873. "W. F. BENJAMIN, lt ister. HOGS. Thete are now ruunuig on my place black Lofis, cropped n boh ears, and a pp5it in one ear. Fames must come forward, ray c'lar'S, or I wil sll then to pay dnijiaes- JOHN BRUCK3 Ei. On Fletu Owens sarin northwest of THE BAD 3IAN OF BODIE. Washoe Pete was generally considered a "bluffer'- by the crit ics of Dodie. and his wild exagger ations were the subject of merir ment only in that high old town. He was., allowed to swagger and boast to his heart's content ; and, even when j he drew: his "nobby whistler" and shot the lights oat of all the lamps in Ryan's saloon the action onlyeyokddrin and the doubtful compl imenU that it was "putty fair sbootm', an' , nigh as stiddy narve as Irish Tom showed when he popped away i&t that 'bad man' from Deadwood.. One day last summer Pete walk ed into StrobridgeV saloon with the remark that he,had 'heerd the Last Chance was goin to be sold, and they've sent up an expert to ltok iuto it." , The expert, a pale, small man, dressed in - gray, was standing at the bar, and looked around as the tall would-be ruffian uttered these words. "Thet'seo, Pete' said one of the men present an' thot's the ex pert, pointing to the email man. You'r an expert, I eh 2 shouted Pete, eying the man menacingly; iyoa'rfc jiiqo tl.em fellers as allows i.. i . .:. - . 9 Then, after a pause, during which he surveved the stranger from head to toot Well ye're the wustl ever saw. Experts is bad enough but you'r the slinkiest, meanest, wust coot to set yersclf up to re- port on a mine I ever laid eyes on. j - 1 don't want to quarrel with Q gir atl!jweretl tJ,0 eXD3rt. 7 ......... . . r . . Ye'd better not, young feller, ye'd better not. Iiti a whirlwind of the desert iu a fiht.; and don't ye forget it. I'm a man ot peace ; I carry no weapons, aud of course I could not hope to stand before even a ze phyr Qf the desert let alone a wild, untamed whirlwind. These deprecatory words only incensed the 'bad man still more; and, feeling that he had a 'solt thing,', proposed iu his own mind to 'play it for all it was worth!' and gain a ; 'record' by fwhiping his man.' i Look a hyar, stranger, I don't want no insinu. t'ons. Do I look like a zephyr ? Say ! Here Washoe Pete shook his fist in the exbort's face. What d'ye mean by talkin' about zephyrs? I'm a tornado. I tear when I turn loose. Zephyr ! Sneering. Why I've a g od mind to - , Please, mighty whirlwind, re sistless tornado, don't hit ' me. You wouldn't stnke a consump tive man, would you 1 Wouldn't I ? yelled the fighter, in a terfible voice, wouldn't 1 1 I'd strike the side, of a mountain! But a sick man pleaded the ex- pert.a man dying of consumption, an orphan, a stangerand a man of peace ! . What re ve giring me ? Do you know who I am ? fiercely demand ed the whirlwind. You're a gentleman known in Bodie as Mr. i Washoe Pete at least, Pve heard you designated by that familiar appellation during my sojourn here, answered the exprrt, moving off.. What els am I! shrieked the rough, striding toward the cower ing expert. v A gentleman, l suppose. Jtlons cstly, I do not-know your other name. "Well, I'll tell you who I am, and the tall man stcod over the shrinking stranger, as if about to topple upon him and annihilate him. I'm bad ; I'm chief in this yer camp, an 'I km lick the man's says I ain't. I'm a ragm lion o' the plain?, an1 every time I hit I kill. I've got an arm like a qoartz stamp, an' I caush when I reach fur a man, 1 weuch a on, an psrthntinke ain't nowhar when I drot ! But Tve only been discharged from a hospital" rei liel the export. pit send ye back agin ! and the etaUvart bhitier caught the little man by the collar and hurleu htm aq upon the. floor. It's unkind to use a tioor, weak, sintering invalid that way,expost ulated the expert, a3 he s!owly rose from the floor. Please dou toke so ronsrhlv. Let's take a drink and cajl it square. I am very sorry that 1 have oitended;anit a sandbag. you. . You think I'm jokin do ye-ye iaKe me ior a josh, en t x il show, ye what I am aiore I git through wuii ye. le uon't play me tnr uo tendertoot. I'm a native. I am. an Pre stood : this toolm long enough Saying which, be dash- ed the stranger against a table and drew a long knite. v - . As soon-as the expert saw tms and there's a couple more, -,) he screwed x)fa face into the jnosr With these wurda , the expert piteous shape, andV throwing, his cornered tn the bad man's cheek bands' up, cried 'il I'm unarmed ; Ijand then stretched ..him panting haven't got so much as a pen-knife for breath on -the floor with a on me. Please don't carjve me ; stinger straight from the IshouU kick me; to death if you must Jder, inflicted upon the lower por have niy lite, but, (for iieaven's : tion of the chest. . Then the ex sake, don-t stick tat jterriblo pert cooly called all hands, to the thing into me. ; - j bur to dnuk, and .as the b:id tnai Now, as" Washoe Pete had no ' of Bodie.. crawled away he was inteMtion of useiuir the knife ana j thereby risking the tender mercies of a Mouo jury's verdict t-he was well pleased witli the opportunitv thus afforded him of displaying the deedly weapon, and, after as serting his bloody intention, i es turned it to its sheath. He flour jsbotl the knife over the cringing expert three or tour times, and then lowered it with. the i remark: Why durn yer cowdardly Isoul, I .wouidn't disgrace the weapon by shovin- it into ye. No, sir; out 1 11 plug ye ; and he Jdrew a revolver I' ra u n a rm ed , I'm u n a rm ed don't ye hear ? wnined the bxpert. Go an' heel yerselt then, Iretort tho 'bad man.' - I don't want to fight. Fll make ye figHt. ' 111 ake ye at yer? word and kick you to'deaih. Please don't. i Washoe Pete laid his knife and pistol on the counter. au4 then strode rapidly to tho spot where the expert tvas half crouching, halt standing. By this time the saloon was full of men, all o them smiling at the picture before them, regarding it as the height ol mer riment tin. lively encounter be t wee n t h e grea t est brggadoci o in the tiieries and a small, patel min- : ... . . ... a. ... a. j a stranger to the wild ways of the!dnven lhe wllole year rund by nig expert, new to tue section auu border ruffians. This thing has gone on about long enough, yelled the 'bad man' stoping before the expert. You've been chiunit;' to me till I'm jrlled. Sqnar' yerself I'm goin' ter dick an a Comstock mnle am't a patch in as a kicker to Wahoe Pete, an' you hear me. ' One instant, please, Peter (I don't know your other name); are you sure you've got no other veap ons on you ? They might go ofi accidentally and hurt some ceut party. Thar's the only weepin I'y got, ef the inform ttion will ease yer sneakin' mind, an uow l'm'goin ter begin kickiuV Clear tho track! The woolly hoss has broke Out o the kerral, an' there'll be a Oaro- ner's inquest in about seven imin utes. " He raised his ponderous but it did not 6wing. boot, The little man straighteueji up like an unuent bow, and his left hand shot direct from theshuh der like the piston ot a locomotive, striking Washoe Pete between;"'8 ai ce 3 cyQmea its umne the eyes, and sending that wdrthy sprawling on tne sawaustcoverea f00Tt . I'm the cyclone ot the West, he:"nen ew wie,.as in,e most im outed, as he bounded to the. Portant se.ePter lfl Christendom. shontftd prostmre form otthe vvooiiy hoss and raised the braggart into a sit ting posture. The latter was paz ed by the terrible blow he had re ceived. and did, not even throw up his guard wheu the expert drew back to strike again. 'J hen; the blows fell like thunderbolts upon the head and face, and the 'whirl wind' induced that individual to rise once more and attt mpt af de tense. He made an effort! to reach his Weapons, but the active expert flanked him and planted two terrific blows on his ear;and ueclc. lhenthe'tnid man howled: Letup! 1 was only foolU! carAyer take fake a joke, (fern y'J . J xe thiiiK im jokin, ao yof; ye ye what I am before I get through with ye. 1-tu a ntivtj, au' f'vu sioa irns ver toonu oout ipng' euougn. T 7 x i r f ! tipu i v.f v' vi vtivu a a,u va iu t u speech. I give in, dern je, I gave m! Can't ye take a man's wheu he squeals; shouted the tornado he swung his arms vnldy, kni statrireritiir airains-t the tar in his iifiui is dolire the lightning strokes ot the uthtetis expeit. I'm a huwling hurricane wrath, shorn ed the expert seizing in hnth fists, with terrific effect. Let, ud ' won't won't you? 1 I Not much, yon're a 'r agin lion of the plains. And a swift left- bander lit on the buIJy 6 nose. Come on with your quartz, old wholly hoss. When you nityrj kill, and vou weisrh a ton. Fete in a couple of your earthquakes, Why don't you chew - my mane? You're chief, are you? Ail: right, chief, there's a neat one tor you, heard to mutter that he didn't lay out to tall up against a battering ram, no more'n he .iovvea4 he. was game in fi ont of- a hullf gymua siuru, ,1 The Astonihsed Englishman. ' A young Enghshmai! stopped at a taveru in Nashvilli, Teno., where he; got into conversation with a native Teunesseau. As uauai; he boasted ot everything Euglish in compar'Hon with Yan kee products. .He said -it was not uncommon to see English cheese weighiug a thousand pounds. "Pooh, said the Tennft3sedn,my father keeps .a .diary t miles frjm, here,.and supplies all the large taverns. , He never thinks of making cheese ot less weight than a tou each; . "You can't put that joke, on me, said the JSuglishraan laughs "Ask the laudlord." . v The landlord, thus applied to, replied: . . ' "I never, weighed his cheese, but Tknow that, the old man runs ai the bottom 1 of' thyr hill -hi a place, two aw mills, wbich are the whey which runs from his cheese press! . ... "Will you be so kind as to or der up rny horse," quietly re marked the Englishman. Lord Baconsfleld. What a marvelous man is this Disraeli! Son ot a proscribed and reviled race; his" ance&toi s banned for their re!igion,aud their j money, and their property c'!1" jnno-,fi8cated and themselves declared outlaws; , himself a poor senvner and living by his wits, scribbling for th.papers, writing noveU, the butt and jest of his as80ciate8,and the contempt ot the 'men who ar the time governed England now standing on the throne, handing to his, imperial mbjesty a new ti tie and new crown - studded with Oiiental jewels, and offering with odd nonchalance to give Jerusa lem to the Pope; that Christians may again kiss the altars where Ltne worshipped, woere , UU1T, r, 1S ura" ."..ri.--- iimsi uave uoue us pe-iect worK A Curious Episode, ; A Berlin professor makes a statement in illustration ot the production of snow by change of terr.peratnre. Ou au extremely cold but starlight night $ large company had assembled in a ball room in Sweden, which m the course of the evening became so warm that some of the lariiea tmntpd. A?i nfRfter tnorl tn nnnn ; a xv'm&ow hut found it was fros zeu to the sill. .He then broke a n..llrt -i- uua tiii rnau m f.(l; nL fpnm w;rhnnr. trnr1nf.pd ' M ot snow , tne r3orP. Il8 j atmosphere was charged with va which, becoming suddenly form ot- gll0W up0D the ast,omsh. ; ed dancers. ' - , Wind vehicles, fitted with sails, raa3t3 etc ftre now. : in-use on the ilong stretches ot tracks which expend over the Wester Prairies, and the epecd which attained n- as uals that ot the fast express. They are emHojvd to couvey repairing parties, to putnps, tel-traph hies, along the -route. They are, o course: exce-idingly cheap to con of struct and. maintain, and save the labor involved iu tunning a hand . car. - THE HEATHEN CHINESE. : BY MOJfA VUETLAKD. " I've a very sad story to tell, I assure yoa, ' And alas! its a common one too; - i 'Tis a story of hunger, a ; storry "of sorrowr, Because I have no work to do. In the country, as well as the city, ' There are thousands who want a square meal. .... There is plenty of work for the Chinese- A poor white man must starve or else - steal. , 1 -. ' , For All Chin you will flad fa i - the kitchen, ! In the laundry, U Cfcunij and Hop Lee; On railroads, in workshops on ranches, There is work for the heathen Chinese. I've foujr little children at home to provide for; , They are starving and crying for food, My husband is SiCk, my rent is due. t' Pq mpney to .ouy coal, or wood. I've walked all the, streets of the: city, In search of employment or bread- ; But I find there's do work for . a white man. They all hire the Chinese instead. Then, rouse! Freemen! rouse! Let us fly to theiescue, - ' Lets battle through fire and blood, To be rid of this viper, this 'curse of our nation- . - , This le ch that is suckincr her blood, And swear by your wives, and your chil dren, In this golden land, here by the sea, WVU be r d of this scourge on our country, We'll be rid of the he&tVen Chinese. For a white man we'l have fn.,the kitchen. In the laundry old Mrs. Majree, On railroads, la workshop, on ranches, No more work for the heathen Chinese. ? .-. A DOCTOR'S STORY. BY G. H, 6HAUBR00K. - The next night about 9 o'clock I was disturbed by a ring of tho bell. On opening the door I found it to be Dr. Edgar of whom I hav( spoken before. We chat ted for a while t bout things in general, and the book I was writ ing. He said he had come to see if he could get- myas3U.tance:in helping him dissect a subject 1id bad obtained in a somewhat sin gular manner, which offjrded a very good study ot the nerves. We had loft my otnee, and were walking up town when Edgar aked me when I could assist him in the operation, and if I could not come to-night. xo, it i. impossible to assist you to-night, or I have a patient : that I must be with aid the crisis ot his diss order should occur to-night," said I. ,4Can you com ' tomorrow at ekv . "No, I have a lec- ureat that hour.', iBut, stop," rephed Kdgar, i- "we are at the door of my house, will you not come in and take a' look at mj subject?" Thanks; I shall be glad to, as have heard some, very flattering reports about you. '.For the best, I suppose," cried Kdgar, at the same time unlocking a door which he told me to hut and stand still a mmute, ar he had a secret passage by which he entered Lis other room. We then entered the other door and. by the glare of a match, which he struck, I unserved '.that the room was tilled with boxes, casts, ins 8trumeuts, bouks and all other horrible impedimenta of a eurgi" cal retreat. He then lighted -the gas ami 1 perceived that a table with some thing upon it stood m the middle of the room. It was covered with a cloth that hung down on either si Je about4 inches; it resembled a rresh - grave covered with enow, aud lifting the cloth I saw it was the . body ot a. ve.y young lady. As Edgar turned on more gas, he Baid she was tho nicest featured lady h had ever seen, i theu took nold of i her haud and noticed that there was a ied spot in the center, and a stripe on the haok. It e2med to be the same bund, and the same lady, ti at came to my oraco the my; lit before, and I was so certain ot it that I told Dr. Edgar ot the oc currence aad asked him where he procured the body, and lie said : I was in a certain pltco a, few eveiuugs ago, auu M,f.aiicu. see a lady who was tery-stCK. As;t k , - l)rofesonat chiro soou as 1 arrived 1 saw- that she: waa Hctnty Ann I r'm?Ai'l riPr AvPfl , that morning. After, she was hurried I got a man by paying him well, to go aiidOiring jue the body, merely because iNvas 80 V V M V w h v tures and lovely form aud' l have just go: her here. After telling Dr. Edgar I would assist him to-morrow at twelve, I departed tor my homo. It was after eleven when I had closed my lecture, and was just stepping trom the platform when I met Dr. Edgar; and together we proceeded to the di&ceettnroom. Ihe subject lay cold as snow apparently no more life than a stone. ' We concluded to experiment on the subject with electricity. uingr a nroccss Known oniv.rn oupsp ivva were rewarded ifteronsideri able labor, with, signs oflifem the body. Contiuufug i the pro cess she regained sensibilities and aocn.wa3 able to speak. We re moved her to a warm rooni, aud then she gave us, her history, as follows, . ' ' "I was marnd when a child,to a man who loved anotl-er woman. He grew to hate me aa time wept on, for standing. between h;m and his desires. Besides, he wished to possess my : immense estate. He tot k me to the East, to Africa and to the infected districts of Russia. I was so inconsiderate a3 to decline all infections, all daugersincUto live and thrive. He then commenced - a course of slow poisonlug and carried me to America to die, where uo one ould watch the progress of, his evil designs. I suspected my ganger and camee to Dr. for advice and help. He gave both. and his fifty. drops of liquid gold saved my lite tor, that time. Then aiyt husband tired of waiting, ad ministered some new drug, which the antidote faded to ; reach. I Lecame. insensible, knew nothing jnlil the present. My name ia Oountess von Wrecker.' Her sweet manner and high so cial refinement won ray affect;on and in due time the lovely Coun tess became myjife companion., I ascertained, that niy wifeV former nusband, in attempting to secure his deau wife's estate, paw on the records that she had obtained a divorce from him. Onlascertain- ing t he circumstances, he-fltfd to foreign par's, leaving my wih in possession of her estate. . Everyday Talk Wins. Yesterday, when the black clouds gathered in;:tbe nortbaud betokened the coming ot a thuu der storm, a citizen who was coming down on a Jefierson av enuo car remarked t an elder ly man beside him: A storm is portending. Hay? I say there are tokens of . a storm. Hey? Apperaances indicate a storm. Hav? VYhat did you say about indelicate? A t There's going to be 'a thunder storm! shouted the singer. Ah! Kow I understand, said the old man--going to be a thun der storm, f We'l, what do you want me to do about it 7 When a man enters a post effice and 83ea a woman standing at the delivery window, he braces up, smiles, and concluded to wait patiently a few moments. It thereje two women he sneaks up behind them and , tries to wink the clerk to get him his mail. But when one of the women en ters into conversation with the of ficial as to tho reasons why the magazine has not come, and how long before it will be here, aud it be is sure he looked in the right box, the citizen jams his hat over eyes and walks out of the prstot- fice lobbv in a wav that would do credit to a professional pede-t ri an, . The next day bp negotiates for a lock-box. The relalioiiship'of a man and woman in rainy weather is diseov ered. It they ate lovers the wo mati will have ail the umbrella, and the man wont care how wet heaetsA Buf.if married it is just the opposite, difference. Marriage is the There is a young woman m El mira, Kew York, who has hair 29 inches in leugth. It she was only n man t ha't ft nnrmrtt ntirn doctor jghe would make! All h man needs ll3t u h h'air.; peclist u long Kailrad-! carry three million pa85tcnger8 Wely. wher ?. ,f knled but the troub.e i s to know when the three millions is couut- .... ... . L . eu Jusl wuuiviue .uoiij is,iutuui mence PHILOSOPHY OF sirjiira . "Where are jou going with tho . puppies, my little manr asked." a , man of a boy yesterday who:2i t he met with three poppies in '; a , basket. ' - ; "Goin to dj-own them, was tbe answer. . "I .'wants a., pup for, my boy to play with. What do" you say tj letting meihave one of them. . "I'll sett you one, :spoke up th j boy with , true Amencacnici.- prise. " "111 sell vou . this" vr.!lv" one for halt, a dollar, th blacl: one tor seventy-five eenta.&nc. ; the cpotted one is worth a dollar,. "I'thiuk my boy would prefer the spotted one best, but you ask too much tor it. Yoi had intends - ed drowning them all, but I will give you 25 cents and save you ' the trouble ot drowniqg the spot-' ted one. - ' "Twenty-five cents tor that snot ted pup! I cart stati d it; taxes u high;; groceries is high; oil is lower and going lower; oh, no: JL cant stand Ies3 than a dollar. "Bat you intended 'to drown; - him. , "Take the black one at. tweuty My boy wout like the blac!: one. : . . '"Take the yaller one at fifty. cents. "I don't like his color.. ".Well, then, you'd betfei tell yon r ,bf y to play with his t oes; no party can dead-beat his way oa me these hard times. '' He Knew the 21&.XL "The .court would remind the gentleinan . that his hour h nearly i up, remarked the ' genial judge tho other day, as an attorney was v in the, midst ot his oration to the' jury. ;"I trut your honor wili al low him to proceed, eaid the dis tnct attorney courteously.. "I do" not wish the counsel to be embar- rasped fur want of time. "Era brsissed! said the judge, with a" grave shake ot the head, and a ' knowing hok over the top of his spectacles, "there is not the least ' danger of t hat. The oritur waa the judge's! son. Gaarantecd. At a matrimonial agency iq 5ans: v We have just the thing yoa want-aa orphan of;' 20. nest grass. Pretty? Not exactly. Worth? , ; Halt a million francs, m r?3 ernments; and theu she is con sumptive. Uousumptive, eh? Well, that' always ; something. Perhaps, however, yvu are only excian my hopes to sir, the houae always ruaran tees its goods to Da as represent ed. - A - If men go to heaven when theC die, why don't the artisis illus trate them; as they do female au gels? Kooce ever see a man angel in a picture, and its giving w men the cold shake.- Lrce Press This is uot a very good joke; . for the tact U that all the historical angels in revelation, poetry and art are masculine. A chap in Arkansas, in the -act of ramming a heavy charge in au old musket was killed by the dis charge of the pieie. The local pam per speaks ot tt as .a tragic afhurv bi t to us it esrns to : partake of the nature t h ni'dlowe l-ramraer. The peraidtjut rfietch who is always aikini:i;"Is this hot enough tor you? will get his reward one of these days. When a dark com pl?xioned old persosi wilh hora.? shall lead him in paying, "Is.Tilis hot enough t r voa? The editor of a religious paper which had one month's precarious existence in Chiuago, says thct it is a good city for religious paper provided the devil can have two page and tne other mixed. General Lafayette once stopped over night in Beddeford, Me., and lite people are soproud of it that . ihey fchow you eleven different . ill' WIIUMI (l 1 , . , , ' . , .. v hy i love uke a eafinlboat i . A ...... vciuurju it is a:t uueruui iraus- f Vi I. I . wt , .