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j a if c ROSEBGRG REVIEW ' 18 ISSUED FRIDAY MORNINGS BY THE REVIEW PUBLISHING CO. J. It N, BELL, - - Editor, One Year - -, Six Months Three Months - - 2 50 1 25 1 00 aSJSESALDIEEOTOBY. GnovKR Cleveland President. Tnos. F. Bayard Secretary of State Daniel T. Manning, Secretary of Treasury Li. o. U. Lamar .secretary of the Interior, Wm. C. Esmcott. Secretary o War W. V. Whitney Secretary of .Navy, VV. T. Vilas Post Master General . A. II. Garland. ........ Attorney General. Morrison II. Waite! Chief Justice STATE OF OREGON. J . N Down I. II. Mitchell.. Binoer Hermann. . . . Sylvester Pennoyer Geo. W. McDride. .. G.W.Webb S. Senators. .Congressman. ...Governor. Secretary of State. .state .treasurer. K. B. MrEj.no Y....Supt. Pnb. Instruction Frank Baker State Printer. R. S. Strauan . . . ) Wm. P. Lord, s- ....Supreme Judges. W. W. Thayeh, ) SECOND JUDICIAL DISTRICT. R. S. Bkav Judge. J. W Hamilton Prosecuting Attorney. DOUGLAS COUNTY. , J. H. Shcpe, ) John Emmitt, j W.F.Benjamin P. P. Palmer, f Jas. Blcndell, i ' ; Senators. .Representatives. II. Mckenzie. ) Thos. R. Sheridan Clerk. Ben. C. Agee Sheriff. D. S. West Treasurer. G. T. Russell School Superintendent. Jas. A. Sterling ..' Assessor. J. S. FirziiUGii County Judge. J. Hall, C. A. McGke Commissioners. N. E. Britt . . .Surveyor. Dr. S. S. Marsters .. ..Coroner. Tnos. Smith ; Scecp Inspector. precinct officers: T. L. Gannon.... x ,. Tas. Harpham Justice,. Peter' JUNKER Constable CITY OF 110SEBUEG. H. C. Stanton, ! John Rast, J J. P. Sheridan, V Trustees. O L. Willis, P. Benkdict. ' T. Fop.d Recorder. John Howard . Marshal. Will II. Fisher Treasurer. U. S. LAND OFFICE ROSEBURG, Cuas. W. Johnston Regisltr. A. C. Jonf.o Receiver SIGNAL SKI: VICE. B. S. Pague Observer. PROFESSIONAL- L K. LANE. JOHN LANE jANE & LANE, Attorneys at Law. Main street, opposite Cosmopolitan Hotel. J C. FULLERTON Attorney at Law. Office in Marks' brick, up stairs. R. C. HUNTER M. D. , PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON. t'ANYOXYILLE OREGON W. Fo WALKER, M. D. ROSEBURG, - OREGON. OFFICE AND RESIDENCE WITH J. M. Carl on Main Street, First Dlock North of the M. E. Church. K. L. MILLER, M. D Surgeon. Homoeopathic Physician. Olfiice up stairs in the old Sheridan Brick, on Jackson Street, Roseburg, Oregon. Chronic diseases a speciality. Or. THOMAS GRAILOf, A GRADUATE Of the University of Pa. at Philadelphia and of he ROYAL COLLEGE OF SURGEONS, and ROYAL COLLEGE OF PHYSICIANS, LONDON ENGLAND has located for the practice of his profession In ROSEliURG OREGON. Olflce and resideuce, Washington street oppusito the Catholic Church F. G. (EHME, M. D. (Pronounced Ama.) HOMOEOPATHIC PHYSICIAN & Graduate Of The Of fiCipzig Oe rm any. Office & Residence at the house of Geo. W. Day, near R. R. track, Hose burg. Dr. C-A- BONHAM RESIDENT DENTIST Ros;bnrg - - - - Or. Office over head ill Marks' buildinor. Mr rcpnta tion as a lentist id based on the merits of my work. Prices reasonable and to suit the times. fcTGOLD FILLING A BrBCIALTY.'sEJl The Leading DRUG HOUSE W. S. Hamilton. Successor to S. Hamilton. Roseburg - - - Oregon. Obtained, and all Patent Business in the r. S. Patent, Otiiee attended to for MODERATE FEES. Our office is opposite the U. S. Patent Office, and we can obtain Patents in leas time than those re mote from WASHINGTON Send MODEL OR BRAWIXO. We advise as to patentability free of charge; and we make NO CHARGE UNLESS WE OBTAIN PATENT. We refer here to the Postmaster, the Sunt, ol the Money Order Div., and to officials of the U. S. Pat ent Office. For circular, advice, terms and referen sss to actual clients in your own State or county write to , A. SXOW & CO., Opposite Patent Office,1 Washington, D. C. VOL. XL JT. JlSKXJJLEK. Practical Watchmaker,' Jeweler and Optician. ALL WOiiK WAlill ANTED. Dealer in Wutdies, Clock?, Jewelry, Spectacles and Eyeglasses. A FULL LINE OF CIGARS, TOBACCO & FANCY GOODa. THE ONLY RELIABLE OPTOMEU IN TOWN tor the proper adjustment of Spectacles. Depot of the Genuino Brazilian Pebble Soctacle3 and Eye glasses. Office in Hamilton's Urick lllo ck. NEW YORK LUMBER & Wood Yard iio To M K. Howell's East side of track one block soutii of depot is where you will Hud number one dry lumber, Sugar pine, Cedar, Fir, and all Diuiention lumber for buildings, sawed and Fhaved cedar shingles, Sash Doors, Blinds, Screen Doors, Mouldings, Wall and Stair railings, Balusters, Brackets, Newel posts, Ceiling, Rustic, Flooring, and all kinds of Finishing lumber, sawed and split Cedar posts, 1J inch plunk sawed expressly for sidewalks. I represent the Sugar Pine Door & Lumber Co. of Grant's Pas3 Or. which from personal inspection I believe to ue the finest establishment on the Pa cific coast, it employes seventy men. The Proprietors and Overseers are all Eastern men and experts in the busi ness, the machinery is new and put up in the best manner, and all under srtict discipline and order. Their work is all done by number one me chanics ami is equal to any work of the kind done m N ew Yoi k or the E:ist. Fruit boxes, Picket f"ncc3 and Gates complete. I a!.io represent- a number one mill at Youcolla where I have sawed all Dimentiou J umber to order on short notice. All gwuanteed as represented or no sale. Call and see stock and prices before purchasing. Stove wood constantly on hand at HARD TI1SE S'IMCES. OVERLAND TO CALIFORNIA VIA OREGON AND CALIFORNIA R. R. And Connections. Fare from Tortland to San Francisco iZ2; to Sacra mento $30. Close connections made at Ashland with stages o the California Oregon & Idaho Stage Company. (DAILY EXCEPT SUNDAYS.) ' ..... East Side Division. BETWEEN PORTLAND & ,ASI!I.. Hail Train AND LEAVE. ARRIVE. Portland 8.00A. M. ....G.25 P. M. ....8.45 P. M. 5.15 A. M. Roscburjr. .0.15 .1.00 .0.05 ..3.15 P. 51. A. M. A.M. 1. M. Roseburg. Ashland... Roseburg . Abhland... Koseburir.. Portland . . . Albany Express Train LEAVE. ARRIVE. Portland ...4.0T P.M. Lebanon SI.-20 Lebanon 4.43A.M. Portland 10.05 P. M. P. M. PULMAN PALACE SLEEPING UAES Daily between Portland and Ashland. The O. and C. II. R. Ferry makes connection with all the regular trains on East Side ii v. from foot of F St West Side Division BETWEEN PORTLAND & CORVALLIS Vail Tiain- LEAVE. Portland 7.W A. M. Comdlis 1.30 P. 11. ARRIVE. Crvaliis lii.25 P. 51. Portland ti.lo P. II. At Corvallis connectjwith trains of Oregon Pacific for Yaquina Bay. Express Train. LEAVE. I ARRIVE. Portland 4.50 P. M. McMinnville. . 3.00 P. M. McMinnville 5.45 A.M. Portland 9.00 A. JI. Local tickets for sale and bajrjas0 checked at com pany's tip town office, cor. Pine and Second streets. Tickets for principal po'ntsin California- can only bo procured at company's office. Corner F and Front Sts., Portland, Or. Freight will not be received for shipment after 5 o'clock P. M. on either the East or West Side liv. R. KOEI1LEK, E. P. ROGERS, Manager. G. F. & Pass Ajrent. MANY LAMP CHIMNEYS ARE offered for sale represented as good as the Famou3 BUT TITEY IT! And like all Counterfeits lack the Bemarkable LASTING Qualities OF THE GEXUIXE. FOR THE And Insist upon HiYDi them with nrrp Cni2CE rat0ct.8U,lSS3. The PEARL TOP is iriannfactnrcd OSLY by G0.A,MACPTH&C0 PITTSBURGH, Pl. CITY DRAYTNG DONE WITH DISPATCH. CALL ON JOS. CARLOS. WASHING & IRONING. OPPOSITE CARLOS'3 LIVERY STAPLE. P. SAUTE ITS . Tailor Establishment, IS TWO doors above the hanlware store of J. C Sheridan, where he is prepared to do first-class work. Give hiui a call. PEARLTOP vEQv THIS off .IftlBEL Roseburg HOTELS AND RESTAURANTS- BAILEYS HOTEL. Oakland, Oregon. hard $1 per Day; Single Meals, 25 cents, A-TTiiig house has lately changed hands and is on.ugmy renovated and refurnished. The travel- US public will find the best of accommodations IVo Chiuamcu Smployed SMITH BAILEY. DEPOT HOTEL, OAKLAND," ORECON. rtioiiai-cl Thomas, l?ioi. STXX-St CI.1NH SLEEPING ACCOMODATIONS. AND THE Table supplied with the Best the Market affords Hotel a he Depot of the Railroad. antral Hotel! KOSEBURG, OIJKGOjN OPPOSITE CARLON-S LIVERY STABLE. Boar. 1 and Lodging per day $ I . oo " " week s.oo " Without Lodging 4.0c Meals, 25 cents, Lodging:, 25 cents Thorough satisfaction is promised to travel ers and the public generally. MRS- GARRISON, Trop. Xo Chinese employed . New Restaurant ! ROSEBURl-J OREGON. One door south of ur n crv ;torc. .MEALS 2r as. MOOSIE'S I&ESTAULtXT. (Cfincipaid Business Street.) MEALS 25 CENTS LODGING 25 CENTS We Keep the Best the Market Affords. civil mm STORE 7. L. AK.RINGTON, Srv Goods Grocsics etc All Kinds of Produco Taken in Exchange CIVIL BEXr, DOUG. CO., OREGON. i iyEWSTORE AT DILLABD, OS. would resijoctfully inform the public that he has on hand a fine assortment of Dry Goods, Groceries, Rcady-Hatic Clothing and in fact everything usually kept at a liist-class store. Give him a call. Goods at Low Prices. All kinds of Produc Taken in Exchange for Goods. ta.AH orders promptly atteuded to. MRS. S. A. HlTtllllVSOX, MILLINERY STORE! Oiililuiitl, Oregon, ADIES WILL Fi.D MY STOCK LARGE AND Complete. Prices moderate. Oi-r Af Oall. MBS. S. A. HlTClIISSON, The BUYERS GUIDE la fawned Sept. and EIarcb( l each year. 49 813 pages. iuk lncnestWtt&oTer 2,5CO lUiuitratiOM a, wnoie 4'ictnre nailery. GIVE3 -nboleaale Prieea direct to consumers on ell goods for personal or family nse. Tells how to order, and glTes exact cost of ei-ery-tHlnr you osc, eat, drli-.lt, wear, or ha-re fan with. These IJiVAHIABt.B BOOKS contain Information gleaned from the markets of the world. We will mail a copy FREE to any atl dress upon receipt of 10 cts. to defray expense of mailing. Let lis hear from you. Respectfully, MONTGOMERY WARD & CO". 227 Ac 229 Wabash Avenue, Chicago, 111. Malanssene and. Clements New Furniture Store IN FLOED'S OLD STORE. A full line of first class Furniture. Anything repaired or made to ovder. CALL IXSTAXTEIt. FARM FOR SALE. One Small Farm for sale containing 230 acres, CO acres good farming land. The balunce good timber and pasture well watered and all fenced. For par ticulars enquire of F. Cor.j,XTT, Riddles, Oregon. ROSEBURG, OREGON, HAVING The Entire Stock of -0 of o- I-R.DAWSON At RIDDLE OREGON Coiisistin": of ROOTS, SHOES, CLOTHING, DRY GOODS, HARDWARE, GROCERIES, Etc. Etc Etc. Etc Etc. Am now ofllTing the same At Prices That Sefy Competition. FOR CASH At- 5 ,-- Oregon. . Cornutt. m ALL PERSON'S KNOWING THEMSELVES IN deb et! to Noah t'ornutt will please call at mf, office at Kiddles at the store and settle at once F. Cornutt. TUB IU112 UHE. SAL-MUSCATELLE In America WITHOUT THE EXPPNSE OF AN EUE0PEA2T J OU EN FY! Tho crj'stalized gaits, as obtained in a pure stato from grains and choice fruii, lit a ixirtable, alat able, simple twin, are now presented tothc iublie of America aa the grandest resolvent of impure blood, corrector of the liver and regulator of the bowels the natural promoter of HEALTH AND LONGEVITY., Eminent physicians claim thU achievement a new era in the allied science of medicine, as it furnishes the blood with its natural s:ilinc3 that are lut or eliminated everv day SAIi-MUSCATEIM- A POSITIVE, NATURAL SICK HE ABAC HE AND DYSPEPSIA CUIIE. Sal-Muscatclle is Natiiro's own product. It sup plies to the system the want of sound, ripe !(rupe9 and fruit; it is the simplest and best preventive and cure for all functional dcranemonts of the liver aud kindred ailments; prevents the absorption of mat ari al diseases fevers " f all kinds; counteracts the ef fects of bad air, ioor drainage and impure water; a powerful ox y direr of the blood; a natural Kpeuiflc for all skin eruptions, rick headaches, biliousness, nervousness, mcnttl depression, and will remove the effects of accidental indigestion from excessive eat inland drinkinsr. Have it in your homes and on your travels. It is a specific for the faffed, weary and worn-out. Prepaired by the London Sal-Mcscatelle Co. LOMjOX, ENGLAND. lieware of imitations. The tfeiiuine in "blue wrappers only." Send forcirrulars G. EV SOVITCII, General American Slanajer, P. O Box I9J3, New York City. Mention this pajer. For sale by S. Ilani'lUin Kose burg Oregon. THE New York Coffee House 13. S3" And Oyster Saloon El Leading Chech Restaurant in the City, SIFERD HACKNEY. PROPRIETORS 132 FIRST STREET, PORTLAND OREGON. "Private Rooms of Hie Latest Designs for Ladies OPEN DAT AND NIGHT. I Re FRIDAY, APRIL, 1. 1887. Tin s. i nmmi 'SHE DAILY , U the best niornin;; journal published ou llic Pacific Coast. THE WEEKLY ' istho mo.it compk'te Wctkty: It has the iar- i Daily one year ....$6.oo f Weekly" - ...S.co Remittance? to Kxaminer Publisliiu- Co. - , San Fr.mcisco Cal. an-..le copy uni free. : FROM i TO LEEIPIRCITY. From Roseburg to Looking GlaSo.' .$ .7?-. " " Foot of mountain 2.00 Dor.i 5.00 " . " Fdrview. . 5.50 " " Sumner 6.50 MarshfielJ 7.00 " " Empire City 7.50 DAILY KXCEl'T SUNDAY. For I'artichrs Inritire at llic Post Office. Jas V. Met'liLLOCII, Prop. -DaALKK. In- STOVES, TINWARE AND- BJrain - Oregon. TEKI'S A Fl'.'.r. STOCK OK NAILS, ft TI.KKY 1 Shelf and Huililcrs Hardware. Also Her ol vers. Guns ami Ammunition. .Ml kinds of Tinwurc JIarfc to Order REPAIRING NEATLY DONE, Over 6,000,000 PEOPLE USE Dm M. FERRY St CO. are admitted to be the 1AR8HT SEEDSMEN in the world. D. M.FERRY a CO'S erlpUr.JtPHri SEED ANNUAL For 1887 11 will ba mailnl FREE to all to last season's customers without or dering it. Invaluable to tU.Bcery per. ton wing Gar den. Field or Flower t SEEDS ftou!i tend for it. Address D. M. FERRY & CO. Detroit, Mich. ' J. C. SHERIDAN 33s.Successor to jvj R. S k J. C SHERIDAN DEALER IN HARDWARE Stoves auI Tinware, liosehurg, Oregou THE umltrsincd takce pleasure in an nouncing to the public that lie selling everything in his line at prices that DEFST COMPETITION! IF YOU WANT STOYES, AGEI0TJLTUE4L TOOLS IEOH. STEEL. JfAILS, J(U33 H0E3, TINWAEE, CUTLERY Di anvthinff iu mv line, call and rxammn mv stock and learn prices before purchasing else- wucre, as 1 am soiling lower than ever. J C. SHERIDAN TI1E OLD RELIABLE Establislied in 18G7. Jucob Bittzcr Douglas County Bank, HUMPHREY & FLINT, Roseburg; - - - - Oregon- TRANSACT A GENERAL BANKHTOBUSINESS Sight Drafts Dratrn on J'ortland, San Francisco, New York and other points. Bills of exchange on the principal cities of Europe. Deposits re ceived subject to check. Collections made ou all accessablcpoints at reasonable rates. MILLWOOD MILLS OX IIHSIMRft CREEEL CLARKE & BAKER, Proprietors. We are now prepared t i furnish lumber o the best quality in quaititic3 to suit the purchasers, always having on hand the largest stock of any mil in Dnnglas County. We will furnish lumber at our mill at the following PRICES. No 1 rouh lumber So, I flooring, C inch D & II So. I fioorin;r, 4 inch D & II ...?8 to 10 M 816 M m M &o.'l finishing lumber. ...iia m CLARKE & BAKER. FERRY'S W3m ft 1 Tfi . voir view. i rrL: ir rr 1 Absolutely Pure. This powder never varies. A marvel of uritv ;treiith and lvliolusoineiicss. More cconoiuieal than tho ordinary kinds, and cannot be sold in com petition with the multitude of low test, short weight alum or phosphate powders. Sold ouly iiijl cans. HOiAIj BAKING I OWIEH CO., ICO Wall St. N. Y. H. O. Stanton -DEALER IN 8TAPLB , DRY ' U00D81 i-OF- THE BEST OUALITY. GENERAL EURNISIIINU, IIOS1EL1Y, TUIMMING ic. Boots & Shoes OFgTIIE BEST QUALITY. r0 a full . of CROOERIES I WoosS Ami Willow WAtiE.- CROCKERY & GLASSWARE, ELECTRIC LAMPS, SCHOOL LOOKS, AND STATIONARY. Subscription AGENCY. Subscription received fur all Eastern and European Publications. Great Overland Route! THE NORTHERN PACIFIC RAILROAD ONLY LINE RUNHsNC- Pullman Palace Sleeping Cars, Magnificent Day Coaches, and Elegant Emigrant Sleeping Cars, -Him BERTHS FREE OF COST -FROM WASHINGTON AND OREGON TO THE EAST Via St. Paul ami Mhnicapolis- CNLY TRANSCONTINENTAL LINE RUNNING PALACE DINING CARS. (Meals, 75 Cents.) FASTEST TIME EVER MADE FROM THE COAST -OVER THE m- NORTHERN PACIFIC RAILROAD To Sioux City, Council ISlafis, St. Joseph, Atchison, Leavenworth, Kansas City, Burlington, uincy, St.Louis,' S Chicago, AND ALL POINTS- -O "PAST COUTHEASr T Li; vsl AND AND OOUTHEAS Via St. Paul and Minneapolis. -tar SJL EEPING CA.1SS Are hauled on regular Ex press Trains over the Entire Length of THE NORTHERN PACIFIC RAILROAD Leave Portland at 3:00 p. jr., daily; ar rive at Minneapolis or St. Paul 12:30 P. M., third day. Connection made at St. Paul and Minneapolis to; all points East, South and Southeast.'. PACIFIC DIVISION. Train leaves Portland daily at 11:45 A. M.. arriving at "Ww Tammn ft-in P. m., connecting with O. R. & N. Co.'s boats for all points on Puget Sound. A. D. CiiAnirov. General Western Passenger Agent, No. 2 Washington St., Portland, Oregon. This paper is kept on f.!e at E. C. Dake s advertising agency, 64 and 65 Merchants' Ex change, San Francisco, Cal., where contracts for advertising can be made for it, ISO. 52, A CVXXISQ FOX. There was a man in our town, And he was wondrous wise; .. He knew, to make his business boom, He'd got to advertise. And if, through advertising, lie desired to make his due; He knew he'd got to put his "ad"' in th; RosEcuRr, Review. And now that man has wealth untold. A horse and a coupe, A lovely thousand dollar watch And three squnre meals a day, And when' his friends of him demand, "Whence all this lush was due," He says, I put a modest 'ad' In the RosEiiURG Review." . SEASOX OF I'JIOSIISE. Spiing opens with unnsal promise. fair condition and agricultural proa pects were never better at this time of year. In a few places, especially in Morrow and Wasco counties, the loss of sheep was considerable during the February fetorms but not greater than usual. There have been no fail ures of stock men and there will be no dimi nution, either in wool product or the beef supply. The range is now fresh everywhere. For grain fields the winter in the Columbia river basin has been perfect. Snows fell early and kept the ground in fins condition during the frosts which followed; and later, melting gradually, sank deep into the soil which is moist to a greater depth than at any time since the spring of 1874. But while the farmers are thus assured of a good hai vest, have no hope of a prof itable year unless there shall be a re duction in freight rates. Six dollars per ton from Walla Walla to Portland is too much. It is mere than the car riage is worth; it is more than the pro ducers can pay. It leaves nothing at all to the farmer. If it had been be lieved last fall that the six-dollar rate would be maintained, three fields out of five would bo fallow. The Oregon Railway k Navigation company should reduce its charge on wheat. Reduction is demanded alike by its own interest, the interest of the countiy and the in terest of Portland. In the Willamette valby crop pros pects were never bettor. Here, too, the snows protected the fields jduring tho frost of February, and they "are now in fine condition. TheexTension of the Oregon Pacfic to Albany carries competition into the heart of the Wil lamette valley and to all points north and south accessible to the river. This it is hoped will, add several cents per bushel to the price of wheat. Ex. O.-'rf Things in Chant. Boats are drawn by horses, carriages are moved by sails. Old women instead of the young, are the belhs of society. The highest recommendation a man can have is in the fact of his having a nife. The highest ambition of a Chinese gentleman is to have a nice coffin and a fine funeral. Men wtar long petticoats and carry fans, while the women wearshoit jack ets aud carry canes. Parents and spectators, instead of the children, are held responsible for crimes committed by the latter. A bachelor is likened to a counter feit coin; he is looked upon with sus picion even by his own household. To encourage honesty and sincerity, confidential clerks and salesmen in all branches of industries receive an an nual net percentage of the firm's busi ness besides their regular salaries. A girl is never considered anything else in her own father's house than an honored guest. She is neither respon sible for the family's debts nor! enjoys a share in its fortunes, as in the case of-sons. He was an Englisnman, and he found a new grievancs against Cali fornia. He was much impressed with with the country and its productions. He was very enthusiastic until they showed him a pumpkin weighing 155 pounds. ''This is to much don't you know!" he said, with in injured air. "A pumpkin 155 pounds! Just fawn cy, I only weigh 135." j T. B. Aldrich, it is said, combines a species of writing school with the At lantic Monthly, for, having a horror of untidy copy, he wants every con tributor to send in manuscripts as immaculate as his own; and the story goes that he has. refused some of the best magazine work ever p.oduced be cause of this little foible. One of the crudest retorts by any musical audience is reported from Cal- fornia. A vocalist was -WflrliUrf trt her, own satisfaction: "O would that I were a bird!" A rough miner replied: "O would I wer a mm!" The richest university in the world is that ofLeyden, Holland. Its real estate alone is worth 4,000,000. ROSEBURG REVIEW HAS THE' CTfJCCm inn nrntrin IN DOUGLAS COUNTY. CARDS, BILL HEADS, LEGAL BLANKS And other Prating. Including Large and Heavy Posters and Showy Hand-Bills Neatly and Expeditiously executed AT PORTLAND PRICES. ITint the Wits Say. Everything's Lent Literary circles 800.00. Good at a pinch The crab. A joint affair The stovepipe. Every man who can lie, will lie. As broad as it is long A square. A matter of interest A dividend. The great American desert Pie. Patti cake About $2,000 a night. The toboggan n no coast defense. A handicap The Tarn O'Shanter. Landmarks Foot-tracks in the hall. A good thing to tie to A hitching post. 1 The key to life's mystery The mon key. A wide-awake citizen The mid- Adders ought to be good mathemati cians. An umbrella keeps Lent all the year rouiid. t.h. 1: l .1.- c ,1.. .t ... mometer. Lent is a physical necessity and sointual convenience. An editor makes an income when ha makes his ink hum. Pages ia-waiting MSS. held over by the magazine publisher. A detective is one of the most in formal people in the .vorld. The man with tho most advice has always the least small change. Russian men are very tall. They frequently walk over Poles. "Caster oil is easy to give, but awful ly hard to take." So is advice. Giving too much attention to soft hands indicates a soft head. The justice of the police court is a line man in more senses than one. It seems paradoxical, but it is true that floating debts will sink a corpor ation. Clocks are worn on ladies' stockings simply because it would be slightly im proper to put a watch upon them. Dancing vs. Kissing. I have seen thousands of people gath ered at Rocky Point day after day in summer, with dancing going on all day long, and never a word or act that I should be unwilling to have a young person see, writes Col. Higginson in Harper's Bazar; and I have seen at country charch gatherings, where danc- : 111 . uum .un,e ueen uiougnt a sin, romping and rudeness such as no young girl oujht to take part in. In view of of this there is something very curious in the way in which revivalists lilro the Rev Sam .TnnM lnt-;T. .;. .v.i; o nation on the less evil and ignore the greater. - "I have been hunting for a dancing Christian for many years," said Sam Jones in a late address, "and I never found one, for I used to run with that sort of cattle before I was converted. I don't want anv man tO CUt a flrrnrp. nil a 1ill nnm vith his arm around my wife or daugh ter, and I don't believe you do. Puri typurity iswhat we want" But if the contract of the arm is objectionable in the dance, where there is no kissing does contact become purer when it ia the prelude to scuffle and a smack? Are a young girl's lips less sacred than her gloved hand or her waistl I con fess to a surprise sometimes at the composure with which mothers can sit in a ball room and see their daughters revolving in the arms of men whom they know to ie coarse, if not vile; but" the contact is comparatively slight and temporary, whereas the thought of having received a kiss from such a per son would be to a truly refined woman an ignominy which the waters of the Atlantic ocean could not easily wash away. To those who believe it possible or desirable for very young people to live without social intercourse, or to liv wholly by religious and intellectual companionship, I have nothing to say except to express disagreement with their belief. If all that our youths and maidens can reasonably demand ia a prayer nietting or a course in San scrit, be it so. But if thev are to h.irA social amusements together we must ...i.:u .:- ii . . iuuwu" miivu 1.1 i;ie most innocent; and if the choice lies practically in our country towns between kissing and dancing, can any person seriouslv doubt which is best? Say everything for vice which you can say, magnify any pleasure as much as you please, but do not believe you have any secret for sending on quicker the sluggish blood, and for refreshing the faded nerve. Sydney Smith. tm Thoroughness in one ihinz is thn best preparation for thoroughness in another thine. Whatever vonr nillt, therefore, aim at the ton-round of ex cellence in it Rev. J. II. Worcester. Dr. Lyman Beecher once replied to an inquiry of Dr. Hiwes: "How are you getting along." "First-rate ! first rate ! first-rate ! ever since I stoppei trying to run this world."