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The Trinity journal. [volume] (Weaverville, Trinity County, Cal.) 1856-1857, September 20, 1856, Image 1

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VOL. 1.
Terms.—The Journal will be furnished to sub
scribers at the following rates :
For one year $8 00
11 six months 5 00
Advertisements conspicuously inserted on the
following terms :
One square, first insertion $4 00
For each subsequent insertion 2 00
A square consists of Ten lines, or less.
A reasonable reduction from the above rates
will be made to yearly advertisers.
Book and Job Printing.
We have connected with the Journal, a full and
complete Job Office, where every description of
work will be executed neatly and promptly.
Executive Department.
Officers. Offices.
J. Nkki.v Johnson’,. .. .Oovernor.
It. M. Anderson, Uieut. Governor.
David F. Docoi.ass,... Secretary ol' State.
Henry Rates Treasurer of State.
Geo. W. Whitman,. .. .Comptroller of State.
W. S. Wai.i.ace, Attorney General.
John II. Brewster,. .. .Surveyor General.
James Ai.i.en, State Printer.
K. Wilson j
F. S. McKenzie, > State Prison Directors.
Ai.kx. Bei.i., )
Huon C. Murray Chief J ustice.
Solomon lleydenfelt...Associate Justice.
C. C. Terry, “ “
District—8th.... J. M. Peters.
“ nth... .Win. P. Dalngerdehl.
“ 15th... .J. S. Pitzer.
Trinity Co. Official Dirictory.
County Judge It. T. Miller.
County Clerk II. J. Seaman.
Deputy Co. Clerk, Robert G. Stuart
District Attorney 11. J. Howe.
Sheriff Edward Neblett.
Coroner A. Shepanl.
Treasurer (;. R | jV nn.
Assessor D. \v. Potter.
Surveyor 11. D. Wheeler-
District No. 1 A Munroe.
“ “ 2... M. Ruch.
“ “ 3 S. Hailey.
The Hoard of Supervisors meet the 1st Monday
In February, May, August and November.
DISTRICT COURT—15th District.
Composed of the Counties of Trinity and Hum
Terms—In the County of Trinity, tin (lie 3d
Monday in February, May, August and Novem
ber, —in the County of Humboldt, the first Mon
day iu January, April, July and October.
Teres—1st Monday in January, March, May,
July , September, and November.
Terms—1st Monday in Fcbrunry, April, June,
August, October and December.
Terms.—4th Monday of etteh month.
DU. GORDON will continue to practice Medi
cine and Surgery. Calls from a distance must
be accompanied by the Fkk to insure his attention.
Weaver, June 28, 1856. 23-tf.
TENDERS his Professional services to the citi
zens of Weavervillc and vicinity.
Ollice ut the City Drug Store, west side Main st.
Weaver, August 2.'1, 1856. :tl-tf.
0. H. P. N0RCR0SS,
Office, on Court House Hill.
July 19, 1856. 26-tf,
Office in the Adobe Building, Court street.
July 19, 1856. 26-tf.
ATTORNEY at law.
Office corner of Court and Taylor streets.
July 19, 1856. “ 26-tf,
Office on Court street, near the Court House.
July, 19, 1856. 26-tf.
Office on Court street, near the Court House.
July 19, 1856. 26-tf.
Office with Williams A Potter, Court House Hill.
July 19, 1856. 26-tf.
West Side Main Street, Weav ervillc.
July 19, 1856, 26-tf.
Segars and Tobacco.
None but the choicest article offered in this
Main street, (between the St. Charles
and Independence Hotels,) Weaverville.
July 19, 1856, 26-tf.
r I 'HIS Theater has been enlarged and put rex
A in thorough repair, and will be rented by
the single night, month or season. The The- LjS.
liter is well supplied with scenery and properties,
and will accommodate five hundred persons. For
terras, Ac. apply to F. W. Bj.akk, Weaver, Trinity
Weaver, July 12, 1856. 25-tf.
CAME into the enclosure of the undersigned,
at Mud Valley, on the 91st ult., a Mouse col
ored Spanish mare Mule, branded P. on the left
hip. The owner ean have the mule by applying
Jfud Valley. August 23. 1856. 23-3w*.
Willie Beil.
Down in yomliT shadowi d valley
Where the death-tide waters roll,
Where huge phantoms ever daily.
With the Heeling, fainting soul ;
Where the hymn of death is waking
In the gloom with measured swell—
Thither went our heart-strings breaking,
Little, loving Willie llell.
All the spring-time played In' gladly,
With the sun beams from the sky —
In the summer wnthced he sadly
All the spring flowers fade and die ;
And he wander'd by the brook-side,
Where the gushing waters fell
Where the angel sang at night-tide
Music low to Willie llell.
Hut when summer blossoms faded,
And the ntitttmn leaves flew by
When the gentle buds were shaded
Hy the snow-wreaths from on high ;
Then a voice came down from Heaven,
Like the waves in winding shell,
And an angel crown was given,
To the brow of Willie Hell.
Folded then his hand of whiteness
(Fertile marble, lifeluss breast,
bile sweet strains from harps of brightness
Welcomed him to heavenly rest ;
And the eyes of bine were closing
O'er the cheeks where death damps fell,
While in dreamless sleep reposing
Was tlie form of Willie Hell.
Down within the grassy meadow,
Down within the silent val«,
Where at even comes the shadow
Of the moonbeams still and pale ;
There, upon the cold earth's bosom,
Mid the snow flakes as they fell.
Laid we our bright summer fdossoifi.
Lov'd in death, sweet Willie Hell.
“Home’s a Fool to this Place.’’
Home's a fool to this place,’’was heard
to go from the lips of one to another of a set
of young “sports, ’ as they sat around the j
gaming-table, revelling in all the luxuries of
a game at poker, a tew evenings since.—
Homo’s a tool to this place, exclaims the
young blood, when he walks up to the bar
and calls for a glass of “ red-eye.” “ Home’s
a tool to this place,’ says the professional
loafer, as he throws himself back upon his
w/a*,seemingly unconscious that he is a drone
in society, that subsists upon tin 1 charity and
hospitality of his betters. When I hear a
fellow talking in this way, I am made to
think that he is lost to every sense of a no
ble quality, and near the verge of ruin.—
Home ! 1 cannot forget that, sacred name—
home, 1 will never forget that hallowed spot.
Home, the sweetest bards tor centuries have
touched the most harmonious chords of their
lyres in praise of that word, and yet it re
mains as fresh and vigorous as it was at
first. Orators have been inspired by it, and
have poured out streams of eloquence on the
subject of home, and yet it is not exhausted.
It is a word around which are associated
every emotion of tenderness every senti
ment of love—every impulse of a noble
character, and every reminiscence of friend
ship, of purity, of kindly assurance, of truth
and pure innocent enjoyments a word that
is never forgotten by anyone possessing one
single good quality. The man who forgets
home, however humble, lias no heart within
his bosom, and is therefore a lit subject for
the commission of the most atrocious acts
of criminality. A'o, dear home, I can nev
er forget thee, nor those beloved objects con
centrated around thy lireside. A mother is
there to whom 1 am indebted for my being,
and for every early impression of truth and
virtue. Sweet little Kitty is there, and El
lon, and Parmelia, and Jasper, and Willie,
and old Tom-cat gently seated near the lire
screen, and the old cricket merrily chirping
away in the jam are there. All the objects
of endearment and alicetion, whose shadows
are this moment east before me, and 1 would
fain be one in their midst. Miserable must
be the one who has forgotten home, and
more miserable indeed must bo the one who
has no place he can call a home.
11 any one has strayed so far as to have j
forgotten home, let him pause fora moment
mid think ol the days ol his childhood, and
the old family mansion and its inmates ; lie
will be none the worse for having thought
seriously on the subject,— Mount. Messenger.
1.18111’itiNTiNG Ostick.—When quite a youth,
Franklin went, to London, entered a print
ing office, and inquired if lie could get em
ployment as a printer '!
‘ Where are you from ?’ inquired the fore
man of the office.
‘ America,’ was (lie reply.
‘All,’ said the foreman, ‘ from America !
a lad from America seeking employment as
a printer ! Well, do von really understand
the art of printing? Can you set type?’
Franklin stepped to one of the cases,and
in .a very brief space, set up the following
bassage from the first chapter of the Gos
pel by St. John :
‘ Nathaniel saith unto him, can nnv good
tiling come out of Nazareth ? Philip saith
unto him, come and see.’
It was done so quick, so accurately, and
and contained a delicate reproof,so appropri
ate and powerful, that it at once gave him
standing and character with all in the office.
The Ilium-:.—1 know of no sight more
charming and touching than that of a young
and tender bride, in her robes of virgin
white, led up trembling to the altar. When
I thus behold a lovely girl, in the tender
ness ot her years, forsake the house of her
childhood —and the implicit confidence and
the self-abandonment, which belongs to wo
men, giving iqt all the world for the man of
their choice ; when I hear, in the good old
language of the ritual, yielding herself to
him “ for better or for worse, for richer, for
poorer, in sickness and in health, to love,
honor, and obey, till death us do part,” it
brings to the mind the beautiful and affect
ing devotion of Ruth—“ W hither thougoest
I will go, and where thou lodgcst I will
lodge—thy people shall be my people, and
thv God Ui' God."— Washington Irving.
“Edited by the Devils."
The last issue of the Nevada Journal con
tains the announcement, under its inside ti
tle-head, that it is now “ edited by the dev
ils.'’ It appears that the human editors went
to Sacramento to attend the American Con
vention, and left their paper iu charge of the
imps, who immediately commenced circum
venting the absent dignitaries by largely ad
ding spice to the columns of the paper, and
trying to convince people that the departed
are of no account. The rascals begin thus :
The devil upon a certain occasion—during
a severe spell of sickness—signified to his
friends his entire willingness to assume, for
the time being, the character of a monk, but
to expect him to descend to the position of
editor, is a most ungracious imposition upon
good nature. Considering, however, that
high character will dignify any occupation,
and considering that the community has been
most .shamefully deserted by those whose du
ty it was to do the dirty work of this office,
and that a part of the odium of a failure
might fall upon the aforesaid “ devil,” owing
to his connection with the aforesaid desert
ers—and for the purpose also of showing the
versatility and universality of his genius—
In* has agreed to squat for once upon the ed
itorial tripod and show the country what the
“press” might be, if conducted by able
hands. We hope that the brilliancy of this
issue will not render our patrons dissatisfied
hereafter, if the paper should again be char
acterized by the prosaism of its “ regular
In another article, it is stated that,
“ llotli the Editors of this paper, on or
about the 31st day of August, A. I>. 1850,
suddenly took into their heads to let the pa
per go the ' devil’ without their assistance,
and hurriedly decamped for 1 parts unknown.’
Whether they have gone to wallow in the
‘ filthy pool’ of politics at Sacramento, or
whether matters of a personal delicate na
ture here have produced this sudden exit, it
is impossible for us to determine. Some de
velopments have certainly been made since
their departure which have caused consider
able uneasiness among their most trusting
friends. It is undoubtedly true that they
have left many outstanding bills unsettled
insinuations have been made about ‘ leaving
the State,’ ‘intent to defraud creditors,’Ac.
and lawyers have been consulted in relation
to the doctrine of arrests in civil actions,
and as to what constitutes the crime of
swindling. Their families are iu the most
distressed condition—-not willing to believe
the minors afloat in the community, and yet
unable to satisfy themselves of their false
hood. As to the creditors of the missing
gentlemen, they may relieve themselves of
ail uneasiness, for we confidently assure them
that iT they will go to the ‘devil,’ they will
get t heir dues.”
That the fugitives may be arrested, they
are described :
“ The one is a thick, heavy-set, ‘ wolfish’
looking liombre, with heavy whiskers about
the color of yellow paint, and a tremendous
hole between the nose and chin. I le is pow
erful ‘ from the shoulder,’ and if he makes
any resistance, you had better be very cau
tious. It would be hard for him to disguise
himself, unless lie does it with a clean shirt.
“ The other is a clean-limbed, slick look
ing individual, with a ‘ heap’ of backbone,
and rather ‘ party.’ In appearance, he is an
excellent embodiment of the idea generally
entertained of a nice 1 young man.’ Owing
to his good looks, if he takes to any dis
guise, lie will probably adopt pockets, iu
which costume he might easily pass for a
strong-minded woman.”
M obmcns ox tub Maik it. —A friend
writes from Monroe, Iowa:—“A train of
Mormon emigrants, numbering about five
hundred men, women, and children passed
through this county a few days ago ru route.
for Salt Lake. A more miserable, dirty,
wretched set of beings can scarcely lie found
in Christendom ; and (lie women especially
were objects of pity. Many of these were
attached to loaded wagons in place of boasts,
and were sweltering beneath the burning sun,
frightfully begrimed with dhsf, and panting
with fatigue. A fine airy carriage drawn
by horses, was at the service of the Prophet,
who had nothing to do but lounge iu it at
full length, (having a driver,) and give oc
casional commands to “ hurry up them
“Onepoor woman, well-advanced in years,
upon being spoken to regarding the journey,
said : “ i was promised a carriage to ride
iu when I should get tired ; but I have not
been in a carriage, or even in a wagon, since
I landed in America. I never walked much
in England, but 1 have walked hundreds of
miles since I joined these people ; but the
Lord knows I shall not get much farther, if
I don't get rest. My time is nearly up, and
if I full down and die by the wayside it may
be better for me. Indeed, I'm thinking \se
are a deluded people, and I would turn
back, but my husband and children arc go
ing, and I must go with them till I die.”
A skunk once challenged a lion to single
combat. The lion declined accepting it.—
‘ How !’ said the skunk, ‘are you afraid !’
‘ Yes,’replied the lion, ‘ you would only gain
fame by having had the honor to fight a li
on, while every one who meets me for a
month to come, would know that I hud been
in company with a skunk.’
Is tiik vicinity of Cape Cod.two apple trees and
a imillen stalk are culled an orchard. Captain
llorcas owns five plum frees, and is looked upon
as an aristocrat. One year they don't hear, and
the uext they can't the boys using the fruit for
bullet? to kill on Is with.
Night Scene in a Young Lady's Chamber.
Last Tuesday night, which will be remem
bered as one oi' the warmest of the season,
a young lady at the * \\ est line' was exces
sively frightened by a little circumstance
which transpired about the hour of midnight.
The young lady whose beauty is only equal
ed by her modesty anil whose ‘eye's dark
charm’ has caused more than one waistcoat
to palpitate, had retired to her chamber,
where, after laying aside the greater portion
of her wearing apparel, she committed her
self to the tender embraces of Morpheus,
whose soothing influences were aided by the
gentle breath of Zephyr, who came in at the
open window and fanned her checks with his
feathery wings. In a word, she was snooz
ing finely—or, to use the language of a mod
ern bard—
•• Sleep on her velvet eyelids lightly press'd,
And dreamy sighs upheuved her snowy hreast.
While starlieams thro' the window sot'tlv creeping,
Stole to her couch, and trembling there stood
It was, ns we said, about midnight, when
the young lady was aroused from her deli
cious slumber by hearing a noise at her win
dow. Half unclosing her eyes, sho was
startled by the sight of ncorpulent form, ap
parently struggling to gain admission to her
chamber through the open window. It at
once struck her that the intruder hml been
caught by the rear of his unmentionables,
by a nail or some other sharp instrument, as
he seemed struggling with a stern determi
nation to enter, Her first thought was to
faint- her second, to give the fellow n push,
her third, to jump out of the window as soon
as lie jumped in- her fourth,to scream,which
was immediately carried into effect. The
whistle of the locomotive on the Iron Moun
tain road, when it. gave its first snort on the
till of .July, was but a whisper to the screams
of that young lady. The whole house and
half the neighborhood were awakened by the
The old folks, three female servants, and
two big brothers rushed to the rescue, and
broomsticks, mop-handles, and boot-jacks
Hashed in the gas-light, as the household en
tered the room of the frightened beauty.
An examination of the figure in the window
dispelled the fears of all, and changed the
screams of the young lady into shouts of
The imaginary ‘ fat man’ was only her own
darling Aoujied skirt, which she lind hung near
the window, and which the wind laid inflat
ed mid set in motion. There was no more
sleeping in the house that night.
’l’lie happy termination of the adventure
put tin 1 family into such a good humor, that
they laughed and talked until breakfast
time. Young Indies should be very careful
about tin 1 disposal of their hoops when they
go to bed.— -St. Louis Hr raid.
f’liAKi.Ks Lamii.—What student of En
glish literature has not read the “ Essays of
Elia?” They were written by Charles Lamb.
Ah! dear, quaint, witty, kind, Charles
Lamb. Horn in Loudon, educated al ('hrist
Church, and made a clerk in the South Ken
Jlouse, the friend of Samuel Taylor Cole
ridge, and a genius who does not know
him? Coleridge nnd Lamb used to sit to
gether in the (lark parlor of the "Cat and
Saint at ion,’’Smith Held, until morning, drink
ing and talking, talking and drinking. And
such talking ! They discussed politics, his
tory, philosophy, and poetry ; and they
drank—drank unt il tlie wine was in and the
wit was out. Those Louts did Charles
Lamb no good. In his confession he thus
wrote :
“ The wnlcrs lmvo gone over me. Hut
out of the black depths, could I lie heard,
1 would cry out to sill those who have but
set a foot on the perilous Hood. Could the
youth, to whom the (lavor of Ids first wine
is delicious as the opening scenes of life, or
the entering upon some newly discovered
paradise, look into my desolation, nnd be
made to understand wlmt a dreary thing it
is when a man shall feel himself going down
a precipice with open eyes and a passive will
— to see his destruction and have no power
to stop it, and yet to feel it all the way em
anating from himself; to see all the good
ness emptied out of him and yet not able
to forget a time when it Was otherwise ; to
bear about the piteous spectacle of his .self
ruin -could lie see my fevered eye, feverish
w ith last night’s drinking, and feverish look
ing for the night’s repetition of the folly ;
could he feel the body of death out of which
I cry hourly with feebler and feebler outcry
to be delivered—it were enough to make
him dash the sparkling beverage to the
earth, in all the pride of its mantling temp
“ Oh, if a wisli could transport me back
to those days of youth, when a draught
from the next clear spring could slake any
heats which summer suns and youthful exer
cise had power to stir up in the blood, how
gladly would I return to the pure element,
and drink of children, and of the child-like
holy hermit.”
The following advertisement appeared in
a "Worcester, Muss., paper :
Noth e -Hy particular request there will
be a meeting at the Wesleyan church in Li
cester, on Pleasant street, at 5 o’clock,, I*.
M., Sunday, .July l.'i. Subject—‘Hell lire
and Polities.’
Jr a spoonful of yeast will raise lifty cents worth
of Hour, how much will it take to raise funds
e»ough to buy another barrel ? Answer to be
handed in over the fence.
Oxk telling another how hot it was in New Or
leans,span a yarn thus : “• A vessel loaded with pig
lead lay at the levee discharging her cargo. A nig
ger would get a pig on Ids back, and before lie
could get ashore, the lead would melt and run all
over him, so that he'd have to be dug out with a
cold chisel.''
Acquital of Durkee and Rand.
The exciting topic of the week 1ms been
the proceedings in the the ease of Darker
and Hand, indicted for piracy, and ar
raigned before the U. S. District Court.
The law and murder presses have not only
indulged in the most unseemly exultation
over these proceedings, but by every taunt
and irritating expression they could devise,
endeavored to excite the members of the
Vigilance Committee into the commisioti of
some hasty act, which would involve in its
consequences a collision between the Federal
authorities and its members. So far, these
attempts have been as futile as similar ones
proved to be in the earlier stages of the
present crisis, and we trust that the good
sense and moderation of the lvxeeutive Com
mittee will still be operative to prevent any
such disastrous consummation ns tin' law
and murdcrlings are striving to bring about.
There is no present necessity for any steps
on the part of tlfe Committee of Vigilance.
When that necessity 'lot's occur, its action
will be as prompt and triumphant as it ever
has been, It was to be expected that
efforts would lie made on the part of the
traitorous faction, who seek to plunge us in
to civil war to punish those prominent in
the reform movement by process iff law.—
Wo have little fear that they w ill lie suc
cessful. We do not believe tlint. Diukec
mid Kami can be convicted of piracy, and
any action in their behalf previous to such
conviction would he pennatnre and unwise.
The advocates of shooting and stabbing
have no faith in I lit' legal technicalities they
invoke to their aid. They are well aware
that unless they enn excite the Committee
to a collision with the United States author
ities, they have no hope of accomplishing
their coveted revenge. In this effort they
are doomed to disappointment.
The same feeling that instigates the per
secution of these two men, would have fol
lowed up in n spirit of petty vengeance the
men engaged in the struggle of ’Hi. The
patriots of that day were stigmatized as
traitors, and the “ law and order” men of
the present crisis lind lit, exemplars in the
Tories Ol that memoriihle epoch. The In
lure has for both the same reward in the
detestation of posterity- Hide ll’oV.
i Nkwspai'KU Hi sim ss or San Fisancisco
Comp \iii:n with Tii.tr or omnt Citiks. In
the city of San Francisco, w ith a population
of about lifly thousand people, there lire
printed and published daily no less than
thirteen newspapers, ns follows •
“ Alta California, Herald, C/ironulc,
(Ho lc, Sim, '/'u ten Talk, Jliilldin, Test,
Tie ho il ii I'litijiijiir, l.e I’/in re, Herman l>emo
erat, (lerman Journal, uwl Hen ilel I’arijico.
I besides these, there are six weekly papers,
ns follows : <!olden Urn, II ule. II ist, I'nu/ir,
( 'hristian Ailcoritte, I'lennau's Journal, and
Ucslern Standard, (Mormon paper)
making in all nineteen newspapers published
in Sun Francisco. The colored population
are about starting unolher, which w ill bring
the number up to n good round score.
Wo have thirteen daily papers in San
•Francisco. If the newspaper wants of a
community hit: to lie graduated by its popu
lation, and San Francisco is n fair criterion
in this matter, the city of New York, in the
same ratio w hich our population bears to
our daily newspapers, ought to have no less
than one hundred and eighty. We can only
now, however, call to mind the names of
nineteen. There may be one or two more,
Imt not enough to meko unymiiterial differ
ence. Taking New York as a standard,
then, we would not have population enough
for two daily pupers.
In London, with a population of three
millions, there are about the same iminhcr
ot daily papers as there are now living
published m the city of .New York.—
Now, taking the number of daily papers in
San Francisco again as a criterion, London
ought to have no less than seven hundred
and eighty ; mid taking London us the
.standard, our number would be reduced to
one-third of one paper. beside this, it
should be recollected that; the New York
and London papers have a much lurgcr num
ber of supporters and readers outside of
those cities themselves than we have.
Now it is evident that, in the old settled
communities of New York and Loudon, the
proper ratio between tlm number of daily
newspapers and the population would lintn
rully be more likely to be determined upon
and established than in a new city like San
Francisco, wliero everybody “pitches in/’
willing to take the chances of success or
failure in all sorts of business ; mid il is evi
ilcnt, from the figures we have given above
that the newspaper business in San Francis
co has been terribly overdone. J t is trm*, we
are a reading people ; but our superiority
in this respect is by no means sullicient to
balance the enormous difference in the
means for the gratification of our newspa
porial tustes.
And yet there seems to have always been
a mania here for starting newspapers, ami
wo suppose that it will continue to affect
. certain men in our community. Hv hook
or hy crook, they manage to get hold of a
little type, and by promises and assurances
of success, induce landlords, paper-dealers,
reporters, compositors, pressmen, and the
public generally, to give them credit, nud
they thus go on, all their creditors living
upon hope until they cun stand it no longer,
uiul then they suddenly disappear, leaving
their creditors to mourn over the credulity
of their natures. Sun Francisco could ably
and well support two morning pupers, be
sides one or two weekly papers, intended
principally for country circulation.
1’ ew persons outside of the profession
have any idea of the expenses attendant
upon the conduct of a daily paper in this
citv- Jt is Tin ltf>litlny flame, no school-boy
snort, this publishing a daily newspaper here.
An idea of what it costs to publish a paper
of the size of tlie Daily Alfa California,
may be gathered from our books, by Which
it appears that our weekly expenses, includ
ing paper, presswork, rent, editorial and
reportorial compensation, pay for composi
tion, clerk hire, collectors, correspondence,
lights, wear and tear of machinery, and in
terest amount to (he snug sum of $2,433. —
This, in the course of the year, amounts to
In the different branches of the.1//n Cal
ifornia establishment we furnish employ
ment to fifty men. This number does not
include our agents and correspondents out
of the city, but those whose duties are actu
ally confined to the office of the paper. If
the figures and calculations we have pre
sented will have a tendency to deter confi
dent but miscalculating men from inflicting
upon us any more newspapers, and misguid
ed creditors from being made to suffer, wo
shall bo satisfied that we have not penned
this article in vain.— Alia.
New Phase of the " Goose Question."
A most laughable story is told lit an
English correspondent of tho New Vork
Xmi'hni 'rimes, of wlmt oerurred u short
time since on one of the Railroads running
out of London. We thought that we were
ut once witness and participators of a droll
adventure on one of (lie New York railronds,
when a lot of hungry and blood-thirsty Hun
garian leeches, getting loose from a jar in
which they were conlied, spread themselves
promiscuously over the lower limbs of the
passengers, ami commenced feeding, to the
great surprise and consternation of all ; but
the English story is far more ludicrous, and
we intend spinning it out a little in our own
It seems ill n four-passenger ear on a Lon
don railroad, there were two travelers on
the occasion in question. One was a civil,
modest, well-behaved gentleman ; the other,
who wtt. opposite him, was a lady, “ Fat,
Fair and Forty,’’ who was also of modest
mein and conduct. The train laid hardly
commenced moving, w hen the lady jumped
up, and with u crimson llusli on her counte
nance, exclaimed ;
“ How dnro you !”
“ Dare what V’ said the gentleman in as
“ Insult mo in tlml manner,” continued
the Indy, slill swelling with indignation.
“ 1 am not uware that 1 have insulted yon
in any way, form, or manner ” retorted the
gentleman, innocence and inquiry depicted
in evert liheiuiient of his ronntehnncc.
“ Well, don’t touch me again,” continued
the Indy, “ if you do I'll call the guard.”
The gentleman sat marveling, Imt silent,
wondering wlmt strange conceit, when sud
denly she sprung (ip a second time, and in a
fresh burst of indignation, broke out with—
“ I’ll not stand such impertinence ami in
sult ; I’m a decent married woman, and
your conduct is insufferable.”
“ Itut, my dear mudnmc, wlmt upon
earth has got into your head '(—what do
you mean V’
“ I mean that I will not be insulted —
You tniptnko mf character, sir, if you think
I will put ii;• with such impudence. You're
im impertinent, good for-notlung puppy,
that's wlmt you are,” and with flashing eyes
she resumed her sent.
The gentleman was slill wondering at
the strange conduct of the lady, totally un
conscious that be had given her the least
cause of oll'ense, w hen she suddenly started
up a third time, with the ejeculnfi’oh i
" Keep your hands to yourself ! If my
htfsbaml was here he'd pitch you out of tho
window. I’ll have you arrested the mo
ment the ears stop.”
“What hands ? what do you mean ?—-
You talk like u crazy woman, and 1 believe
you art? insane !” was the response of tho
bewildered gentlemmi.
“ Let go of my legs !” broke out the
lady, jumping up again, and this time in a
perfect frenzy of passion.
“ I don’t know anything about your legs
never touched them in my life—-never
want to touch them. You are as crazy ns
llcdlnm you are a candidate for the lirsfc
lunatic asylum on the road and I'll have
you arrested the moment the cars stop,”
put in the gentleman with honest indigna
"And I'll have you arrested for taking,
improper liberties with me,” responded the
lady, an equal amount of virtuous excite
ment manifested in her countenance.
In live minutes more, the train stopped',
there was a violent letting down of window s
in the ear occupied by the enraged passen
gers, a loud duct of cries or shouts of “ Con
ductor !” “ (iimrd !” fl •• Any-body !” “ Ev
erybody !” “ This way !” followed from tho
" What’s the matter ?” queried the nnx
iotis conductor, as ho poked his head into
the ear in haste.
“ This woman is ns crazy ns a foon—mad
us a March Imre—take her out said tho
“ And this man has been piek ng my legs
all tho way from London, the impudent
scamp !” retorted the ludy, glaring furiously
in his face.
A quiet smile came over the face of tho
conductor, us he thought he could explain
the matter ut issue ; and reaching his hand
under the lady’s seat, he drew out a live
goose, which he had placed there a few mo
ment’s before the train started, not suppo
sing it would be occupied. The legs of tho
aquatic fowl had been tied all the time, but
he hud free use of his head and bill, and had
been amusing himself pecking away at the
lower limbs of the lady.
We think that this tnay well be called a
new phase, if not a settler of the vexed
“ goose question.''
NO. 35.

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