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iWATERBUJIY EVENING DEMOCRAT, WEDNESDAY, N0VE51BEU 18; 1908.
0 BREEZY KICKER ITEMS Nothing Slow About Things In 1 Qiveadam Gulch. EXCUSE FOR BAD SHOOTING. ,fbe CariMhan Affair Explained. Newspapers and Their Lying About Cirouletien Chicago Editor Callsd to Aeoount. ICopjrrlght, ItN, by T. C UoClurs. . Ur. Jim Hansen, alleged holy terror, who objected to being lynched In tbU town two month ago, went off to Montana to bare the iami thing bap pen to him nmong utter stranger. Lota of folk! don't know wbafa good for 'era. - v "Docs that brasen faced jackass of a Jim Hellso of the Arlsona Kicker own toe territory of Arieona, body, boots and soul?"- plaintively asks tbe Blue BUI Gazette. Jn order not to disap point an esteemed contemporary and lots' of other people, we answer that we do. And what are you going to do about it? v We feel that an explanation Is due our readers for our supposed bad marksmanship last Sunday in shooting WB riBEO AT ONB OF HIS TWINKMNO HBEL8. Mr. James Carnahan In tbe left heel. Mr. Carnahan had sent word to us that he intended to shoot us on sight "We sauntered into his vision on Cochise place, bat bis courage oozed out at bis fingers' ends, and be turned and fled. We flred at one of his twinkling heels ust as he turned a corner and planted a bullet In it. It was fine sbootiug. Mr. James Carnahan now says that he has nothing against ns. Blessed be peace! . . y During the month of October four teen thin skinned subscribers of the Kicker, all living within a radius of fifty miles of this town, refused their copies of tbe paper at the postotSce for one reason or another. This, of course, Is an Insult on us. Next week we shall mount our broncho and pay each man a visit. We shall have our guns with us, and we warn them sepa rately and collectively that they want a good excuse handy. The Kicker is the best thing of the kind in the known world, and we want to know why ev erybody doesn't think so. As to Circulation Lies. There should be a state law in every state in this Union to punish. newspa pers for lying about their circulation. As there is no such law and never will be, we take advantage of the occasion to say that tbe paid circulation of tbe Arizona Kicker has now topped tbe 1,000,000 mark and is going ahead like a scared kangaroo. If you want your advertisements to be read in England, France, Germany, Russia, China, Ja- pan, Australia, and so forth, put them in the Kicker. - - - .. ' Mr. Scott Johnson, tbe hardware man, went over to Lone Jack tbe other day to collect a debt long owing to him. We advised htm to take his guns along, but be thought be could do It with his mouth. Result: Mr. Scott John son returns with a bullet in his shoul der, and bis debtor has fled to Utah. The month is a very handy thing, but the guns beat it every time. We learn that tbe Hon. Thomas Cur tis denounces ex-Judge Mason as a liar and a swindler, and friends of both predict an awful tragedy the first time they meet Urn! As neither of the gentlemen referred to could hit a barn door ten feet away with a gun there can be no tragedy unless they set out to pull each other's noses. . They bad better take a nip together and forgive and forget . Ths Colonel a Poor 8 hot. It never occurred to ns that old Colo nel Slayback had any shoot in blm. He had threatened ns lots of times be cause wo would not run the Kicker on lines to snlt blm, but his talk went for talk. Last Saturday morning, how ever, he walked Into our sanctum and began blazing away at us. and if he hadn't been cross eyed and drunk to boot soma of bis bullets might have com within a foot of us. Wo let him finish firing the six shots and then took blm by the ear and led him out doors. Wo shall have to bave more re spect for blm hereafter. If s In him to Improve bis shooting. On thirty-two evenings during last summer thero were from 840 to 550 of our townsmen gathered in our prlvato editorial graveyard to take the air. Tbe place has been a public park for the last five years, and it is now hard to see bow the town would do without It As the sun goes down and twilight comes one can sit on a comfortable bench and count tbe trailing srVutus trailing over tbe graves of the twenty one men that have fallen by onr bend, and the crickets chirp and the whtp poorwCI sings, and there come a feel fyof perfect rest and .peace and good Ml tn'inmn ' Ui'iW"nf "fjar nMnll mm I have been to New Tork city say that tbe great lack of that spot la tbe graves of holy terrors that have fallen It tbe bands of New Tork editors. , Following in tbe footsteps of New Fork city, which our people sometimes to, tbe social Ust of the 400 for Gives dam Gulch baa been enlarged, to take In 200 more. Tbla lets In the shyster lawyers and quack doctors and also such owners of saloons and poker par lors as have not yet killed a man. Most of them are providing themselves with boiled shirts for tbe winter cam paign, aud things socially promise to be lively. v ' We have on our desk a postal card from one Bill Merrltt of Fbenix, this territory, promising to remove us from this earth within tbe next sixty days. Come along, William. We are always ready for the removal and won't ask for any time limit. If you can como here and lire two shots at us and get out of town without carrying a bullet with you, we will sell out cheap. - The Red Valley Argus pokes fun at us for not getting a nomination for the presidency after all tbe bragging we bave done for tbe past year. No; we didn't get what we were after, but keep your eye on tbe Hellso family. Tbey have never failed yet to tree tbe coon and bring him down. We are going to be a long time alive yet, and many, things may happen. ,Tbe Chicago editor who announces that while we were in Salt Lake City recently we went to bed in a hotel and blew the gas out on ourself -and were found almost dead In tbe morning is a coyote and a liar. We carried a can dle with us and dodged all perils. We never fool with anything hidden away tu a pipe. Once in awhile we have bad a tallow candle explode and lift us two feet high, but we have always come down right end up. You fellows In the east, quit your lying and give us a fair show. This is all we wish to say editorially at this time. M. QUAD. Reassuring. Mr. Tlmmld Have bave you no ticed, Miss Maud, that tbe chandelier seems to be shaking? ' Are you sure that the foundations of your house are are quite secure? Miss Maud There's nothing to be alarmed about, Mr. Tlmmld. Papa's room is just overhead, and he's snor ing. Cleveland Flaln Dealer. 8aqunce. Child Suppose I called you a mean old pig. What would happen? Governess I should tell your father, and he would punish you. - Chlld-And if I only thought it? Governess No harm, so long as you don't say it Child-Then I only think it New York Life. , Problems. ' "You wouldn't call any of Shakes peare's dramas problem plays." ' "I don't know," answered Mr. Storm Ington Barnes, "from the way they keep me figuring pa expenses I should say tbey were tbe hardest kind of problem plays." Washington Star. Multitude of Drumsticks. The Colonel Rastus, you seem fond of the leg of a fowl. Rastus 'Deed Ah Is, cunnel. What a great institution de chicken would hab been ef Providence had given him as many legs as a centlpedl St. Louis Post-Dispatch. Seeing ths Points. "I see that young lawyer who comes to see Elsie knows his business." - "What do you mean V "Whenever he comes to court he al ways wants a stay." Baltimore Ameri can, ' Right He Was. "Why, uncle, I thought the doctor ordered you not to go out of the door this weather!" , "Well, I didn't I climbed out of the window. "New Tork World. Designs on Him. Gunner Bilklns says his girl thinks be Is pure gold. 'Last night when he called the old man and the dog both got after him. Guyer n'm! Then I suppose he was chased gold. Detroit Tribune. At the Musicals. Church Who is the gentleman lean ing on tbe piano? ' Gotham He's the Installment man who sold the piano. He's got a rlgbt to bave a lean on It Tonkers States man. Considerate. Mrs. Minims Mary, it was 1 o'clock this morning when you got in. 1 beard yon. T Mary Well, ma'am, if I was you I'd take something to make me sleep bet ter. I took my shoes off down In the kitchen and didn't make no more noise than a cat would. I've been kind of worried about yon for a good while. Punch. Some Satisfaction In Tnat Mrs. Hewllgus Ton say that If a burglar wants to get Into the bouse he'll get In In spite of everything yutt can do to keep him out Then what Is the ase of your taking so mnch pains to fasten all the doors and windows? Mr. Hewllgus I went to give him all the trouble I possibly can, blame him! Washington Herald. , ' ' - ' . -v . - CURIOSITIES OF DIET. How Nature Adapts Food to Man and Man to Food. GREAT VALUE OF CEREALS. Why Psopls Can Eat Bread at Ivery Meal Without Getting Tired of It. Ths Fruits of the Burning Tropice and the Pats of the Frown Arotio. Modern science bas shown that na ture provides food for mankind with marvelous care and foresight Tbe bu; man system requires a certain amount of proteld dally to replace wornout muscle and tissue. Fish and meat sup ply this In large quantities. In hot climates, however, these spoil so quick ly that their use is limited.' Nature, as if to compensate for this, bas given to certain tropical fruits a much larger quantity of proteld than northern fruits contain. Thus government analysis shows that figs bave five units or calo ries to the ounce, dates two and five tenths and bananas one and five-tenths. Apples have five-tenths, peaches nine tenths and pears seven-tenths. Prob ably tbe figs and dates tested bad lost part of their moisture, and soma allow ance should be made for this. Tbe Arab can, therefore, maintain his vigor on a diet chiefly plucked from trees. Henry M. Stanley and bis white companious subsisted almost entirely on banana flour for two years In the African Jungle. Their freedom from disease was in part attributed to the wholeaomeness of this diet The" dried banana contains 20 per cent of proteld, about double that of 'ordinary wheat flour. At tbe opening of the mango season in Jamaica many of tbe natives prac tically live on this fruit for two or three weeks. They fairly revel in it An Englishman who was familiar With the science of diet could not under stand how tbey could not only main tain their health on this fare, but actually grow sleek and fat. He knew that an effort to live on the fruits of his native country would result in weakness, sickness and eventual death. Chemical analysis showed, however, that tbe mango contained enough pro teld to supply tbe bodily needs. If nature bas been thus kind in adapting food to man's uses, she has been equally so in adapting man to bis food. You may have wondered why people can eot bread at every meal without tiring of it Tbe difficulty of eating one quail a day for thirty days Is well known. Even such delicacies as asparagus and strawberries cause an aversion when served too frequently. Nature sends men a never falling ap petite for cereals because they are alto gether the most valuable of foods. They contain a considerable amount-of proteld, tbelr salts are of importance to the organism, they are readily di gested when properly cooked, and they furnish a great deal "of nourishment in small bulk. Thus wheat flour, cornmeai, oatmer.1 (dry) and rice (dry) have more than 100 units to tbe ounce. Baked potatoes have 82.7 units, cabbage has 9.2, spin ach 7, asparagus 6.5, apples 18.4, straw berries 11.4, spring chicken 19.S and tenderloin of beef broiled 6.9. If a man tried to get even half of his nutrition from the coarse vegetables, which bave a considerable Indigestible residue, he would have to eat pounds of them doily, and his stomach would be sadly overburdened. Nature gives us tbe de sire for a varied diet and science shows that this is altogether tbe best for us. In tbe arctic regions there is little vegetation. Man must live almost wholly on animal foods. Fish and meat would not suffice, because they contain only protelds. These would re place wornout muscle and tissue, but could not be burned in the body to generate beat and energy. Fats, how ever, consist of carbon and hydrogen, which are tbe chWf components of the foods of vegetable origin and supply the fuel needed by tbe body. Tbe po lar animals have fat in abundance, but residents of the temperate and torrid zones jran eat it only in limited quan tities. To them tbe mere thought of chewing chunks of grease is nause ating. Tbe children of tbe frozen north, however, are endowed not only with the ability to eat and to digest large quantities of fat but with a keen ap petite for it One who is sensitive to such impressions must turn away when he sees tbe natives of southern Alaska, the Thlinklta, swallowing seal oil flavored by salmon berries with the Cto of a boy over ice cream. The :lmos, farther north, will eat blub ber, slightly cooked In the flames, to is Indefinite number of pounds. New York Tribune. Hsr Objict Attained. "Forgive me, my dear," said the gos sip humbly, "but I thoughtlessly men tioned to Mrs. Brown the things that you told me in strict confidence." "There is nothing to forgive," replied the wise woman pleasantly. "It was for that very purpose that I told them to you In strict confidence." Chicago Post , . Getting Evan. Tou are ' half an hour late this morning." said a . schoolmaster to a scholar. ' "Tea. lr," replied the boy, who had been "kept la" the day before. "It was late yesterday when I got home! -London Tit-Bits. We give altogether too little impor tance to what we say to others and too much to what they say to ns.-Ellot -An Everyday 8uit That Gas Is certainly a nifty dress er. He has a suit of clothes for every day In the week." "Why. he has the ssme suit oo every time I see hlmr "Tep; that's the one."-CleTland Leader. The sweetest of all sounds k pretoe. Eenopbon. Photographing Aileen. By LITTELL M'CLUNG. Copyrlfhtod, IKS. or AssoaUtof Uurtry Prcu. Marvin Morton, with some little ex perience at snapshotting as an Incen tive, decided to go In for amateur photography on a more extensive scale. Straightway be went to a fash ionable dealer and bought an expen sive camera, with plate bolder attach ment "I'll call by for It tomorrow morn ing," he told tbe clerk. "Please be sure to bave a couple of plates In tbe holder, for I want to take some pic tures If tbe weather Is flue." "I'll have tbe plates put in and ev erything ready for you, sir," tbe sales man replied. Then Marvin began to think of what he should most like to snap with bis aew camera. There were the new library, tbe new custom house, the lew art gallery. But somehow or oth er none of these marble structures ap pealed to him. "There's nothing like a human sub ject when it comes to photography," be mused. Tbe next thought followed Naturally. "And tbe best of human subjects is a pretty girl In a pretty gown!" A moment later be was talking over the telephone. "Hello, Aileen! I've just bought a new camera," he announced. "Indeed, Marvin, that's interesting," came back over tbe. wire. "And what are you going to do with it?" "Take some pictures of Aileen if she'll let me," he replied. "Oh, tbat will be splendid!" sbe ex claimed. "And when 'are you going to take thenar "Tomorrow morning if you say so." "All right I've got nothing on band for tomorrow morning," she answered. "Where shall we go?" "Out into tbe park." "Then I'll don a frock tbat will be in accord with tbe setting," sbe laughed. Aileen was as good as her word, for when Marvin stopped for ber next morning, camera in hand, sbe wore the smartest blue suit imaginable, al most matching tbe clear autumn sky. "Oh, I know we will bare a nice lit tle expedition," she ventured. "And I'm to have my picture taken for why, let me see for the first time since early spring. Let me get a peep at your new camera. It's a beauty, isn't it?" "Yes," he replied. "It Is supposed to do extra fine work. Tou see, I am somewhat of a novice, and the camera has to be a good one for me. This one has a holder for plates at tbe back. I've never used plates before, but tbe clerk filled up the holder for me, and I'm going to try them this morning." Soon they were strolling down one of tbe velvety slopes of the park. The leaves were falling from the larger trees, but tbe occasional bushes were as green as in springtime. ' ' - Tbey passed a lake, and presently tbey came into a little glen that ran right up against a hillside. "This ought to be a fine place for tbe pictures," be suggested. "Suppose you strike a pose anything you like." "Well, how's this, Sir Photogra pher?" sbe queried, putting her closed parasol back over ber ' shoulder, and holding It at both ends as a huntsman sometimes carries his gun and throw ing her head back in a merry laugh. "Very fetching," be commented, "but I believe tbat with the parasol up and a side view would be even more so. Try it If you don't mind." She turned slightly, opened the para sol and held it back over ber shoulder with one hand. Her dainty bead was silhouetted against tbe turquoise sky, for sbe was standing on the slope sev eral feet above blm. "This one's a stunner!" he declared, shifting his position.' Then be drew out of tbe plate holder tbe thin little board protecting the first plate, and, click, It was over. "How did I look?" sbe questioned, with an alluring glance. "How did you look?" he repeated. "Why, you were but please don't ask me such questions, for tbe first thing you know 111 be telling you more com plimentary things than would be good for you or me either!" "Ob, very well," she laughed, shrug ging her shoulders prettily. "Now what am I to do for picture No. 2?" "Let's nave this one sitting down," he requested. She assented by seating herself on tbe slope and gazing at him seriously with ber chin poised on hi.' dainty little flat "Don't took so solemn," he protest ed. "Tou're not posing as a tragedy queen!" "Well, then, how's this?" she asked, resting her chin between both bands and smiling radiantly. He suppressed a reply ami concen trated bla attention on catching that bewitching, tantalizing smile. "I've surely got It!" be thought as he withdrew the second plate pro tector. r 'That was prettier than the other if comparisons are not distasteful." he opined. "Now if you will" But of a sudden something caused him to rivet his glance on tbe plate holder side of tbe kodak. Then he pulled out one of the thin protectors and. peered more closely at the box like arrangement With a look of dis gust be shook tbe camera savagely. "Well, I am a prize goose!" he mut tered. "Why, what's the trouble, Marvin?" ahe questioned, coming up close and looking at the camera. "What's the trouble?" he echoed. There's trouble a-pieuty. All your posing has been for naught There's not a single solitary plate In this bloomlug thing! Look at It!" "Ob, how funuy!" she - gurgled. "How did It beppen?" "It happened because that forgetful clerk failed to put In the plates after solemnly assuring me tbat he would!" he answered. "Well, there's nothing todo butcotae out here j gala tome ume. Let s go over and alt 'down un der that big tree and chat awhile and try to laugh off this fiasco." She readily agreed, and tbey eat down on a rustic bench and comment ed on tbelr failure, "Just to think those poses bad to be lost, oo au unappreclatlve camera I" sbe complained, with a little pout "Tee,. It was a pity," be agreed. "But, after all, they weren't lost on an unappreclatlve photographer!" "Heally, weren't they?" And ber eyes flashed pleasurable surprise. "I should aay not" bo affirmed ear nestly, bla voice unsteady. "For a lonr time I shall remember them, I think." 1 Sbe was silent as sbe looked at him qnestloningty. "Aileen," he continued, his tone low er, "don't you know tbat somewhere In my mind there Is a camera that always has plates ready for use? With It I have taken a thousand pictures of you. Aileen, in all your moods. Often, day and night I go over this lovely picture gallery of my memory one that all tbe money on earth could not buy! "Some of tbe portraits are blurred a little, but tbe rest are as bright ss when tbey first appeared. Somehow I think none of tbem will ever fade en tirely. Many show you laughing and happy. Others depict you smiling and wistful. Some are vivacious, some de mure, others coy and quaint a few stormy and revengeful, but all are precious to me. One must I tell you of tbat? shows you with a young man in tbe moonlight. It's a beautiful gal lery, my dear; tbe most beautiful, I am sure, in all the world!" She was gazing at blm now with a new look in ber eyes the look of ten der appeal Her hand rested gently on his arm. "Marvin, dear boy," she whispered, "I do so hope your picture gallery will always be bright; that noue of the pic tures will ever fade away." "Do you really, dear?" he asked eagerly. "Yes. very, very much," sbe an swered. 'Then there's one sure way of hav ing them always clear and bright," he said. "How Is tbat?" sbe asked, with an encouraging smile. "By having the subject always pres ent," he declared, tbe twinkle return ing to his eyes. "Io she willing V "With you as photographer, Marvin? Tes. She's been willing for quite a long Ume!" "After all," be commented as tbey walked homeward, "this picture taking expedition without plates has been the most successful of my whole life." A Murderous Maid. First Admirer She looked daggers at me. Second Ditto-She cut me dead. Third Ditto Well, I must say, when she came out in tbat stunning rig sbe paralyzed me'. Fourth Ditto I think she's just kill ing. Baltimore 'American. What Happened to the Phono. Katbryn (fluttering in) I'm so glad I've found you borne, dear. I tried to call you up, but central said your phone was out of order. Gladys (weakly) I suppose it is. About au hour ago Jack called up fa ther and asked blm for my hand. Puck. lou to losing money erery aay that your tenement is vacant Let Mis Democrat And a tenant a days for Be. IT DRAGS YOU SLOWLY DOWN It's hard to keep an even temper with a dull pain nagging all day at your back; in fact, kidney troubles are at the bottom of very much of the nervousness and irritability that are so common to-day. Tou wonder why you are short and cross, can't keep your mind on one thing, are In clined to worry over trifles, and sub ject to fits of "blues" and despon dency. Partly it is due to that pain in your back, partly to the irritating effect of uric acid on your brain and nerves. Uric acid is a poison that is always forming in the body, and it is the duty of the kidneys to filter it out of the blood and pass it off, dissolved, in the urine. Healthy kidneys do this work thoroughly and well, but weak or sick kidneys get behind, and the waste .matte collects here and there In the muscles, joints and nerve cen ters. Headache, dizzy spells, rheuma tism, neuralgia, blurry spots before the eyes, nervousness and heart trou ble, are signs of uric poisoning. So do not wonder at your condi tion, especially If tbe urine does not look or pass naturally. And if your BOAN'SKIBNEY-PILLS Sold by aA deeiar. Miss Hope, who was Principal of the Boston Cooking School for 17 years, says: "I consider the Crawford the best of them all. It uses less coal and gives a more even heat than any range I ever saw." The Crawford has Single Damper (patented); Patented Dock-Ash Grates; Cup-Joint Oven Flues; Asbestos-Back Oven; Reliable Oven Indicator. Maes by Walker ft Pratt SI fg. Co - Ualca St. Boom BOSTON (q)aily ashiou YAL!:c DY MAY THE FASHIONABLE BROADCLOTH. INDOOR gowns ol broadcloth are rxctscttaflr court jest now and when made after the manner of this one, with ctmpe ol thin material, they are corn lortable and agreeable to weaa as well as to the height ot style. All the MSI' the bolero with sain, No. 6161. sizes 32 to 42 inches butt or ot the gulmpe, no. 6127, sizes 32 to 40 inches bust, or ot the slch-t No. 6098, sizes 22 to 30 Inches waist will be nulled to any addresi by the Fashion Department of this pa pes oa receipt of ten cents for each. (If in haste send an additional two cent lUmp for letter postage which Insures more prompt delivery.) ; ' . . Fill out coupon and mail with stamps or com to uie Fashlou epartmeat Waterbury Democrat Pattern No... Size....... To Town St and No. P'HOW CAN I ENDUREjmSj Price so cents. Fosna-MiuuaN Co Boilblo, N.Y.. Preprleton. y more improvements than all other ranges combined: FURNITURE CO. watbitey agehts. MANTON and Ujht colors ere being and for the parpoie and the , model is made ot apricot color with trimming ol satis) and soutache tn matching abode while the gulmpe beneath ts of mar. qoisette. but shore end yoke portions being onlined. Joe effect Is of a web paler. tighter tint and these is ee elo quent coots ast.t Mostard color' would be charming with sash ef black, , prairie green is; firettv either I a mmtchiow color Of I rltb gelmce ol .t,ll mm mW la afvorrte,end there Is no feasible ee4 : to confine the de- ; : sign to fMoaddotb ! lorrtlsJostesw.il adapted to cash mere and. indeed, to all fashionable mstcriab that are heavy snoogb to be treatid In soot vote a manner. The bolero is a very simple one aod Is closed at the beck. The skirt Is laid m Inverted plaits at the front to the depth ot the trim ming tor the cotbo leogthat the back. ( It can be made either witnor with out seems over the hips. For the mod htm aire wfll be teqolr-" cd, for the bolero Itf yards 18, 21 oe 27, yard 44 oo 62 inches wide toe i the skirt y.rde 24,6 yarda27,4, yards 44 Of 3C varda 63 Inches wide if made with oat seams over the hips bat If these earns are deemed' advisable 5J4 yards 44 or 63 inches wide will be needed. Foe, the sh will be re quired 2tf yards of ribbon. The goto pe will require 6U yards of material. 21. 4 yards 32 oa 3MI yards 44 laches, wide. A Hay M . .... f sunion piiKni v. . back aches continually, or yon are) taken with sharp cricks and stitches of pain when you stoop, turn, or try to lift, it is sure that your kidneys are out of order and need prompt at tention, for sick kidneys cannot right themselves without help. Doan's Kidney Pills are especially for the kidneys. They relieve con gestion quickly, cleanse the kidneys) and the blood, set the filtering sys tem In perfect operation. Fifty thousand persona publicly recommend Doan's Kidney Pills Here's a case right at home: WATERBURY TESTTMOKT. ' Mrs N. K. Eddy, 10 Jefferson street, Waterbury, Conn., says: "Two months ago I suffered from back aches; caused by disordered kidneys, In tbe morning when I arose, my back was so lame and stiff that I would hardly be able to stoop or even get about. I was tired and weary and had no ambition. Doan's Kidney Pills, procured at H. W. Lake'a drug store were very effective and soon cured me. I have not - had any trouble of the kind since." W(i A 11 r