The Cairo bulletin., August 11, 1905, Page 2, Image 2

About The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928

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2
THE CAIRO. BULLETIN, FRIDAY MORNING, AUGUST II, 1905
THE LATE COilEB,
"Che bit a chair in the middle of row
O. and every one has taken pains to get
tiers before her.
. She works her velveteen skirt securely
ay from its moorings at the place
where things come together in the back,
snd catches her opera glass, her lorg
r.ue, her purge, her boa, her muff
asainst (he waistcoat buttons of irate
atid upright men. and on the eyeglasses,
tiaia, tans, laces and programmes of
pressed back, half sitting, indignant
women.
TKa " 1 V. .1 IV
tniDuendo is well on. All the seasoned
eonccrt-goers have their eyes fixed on
the most remote point in the ceiling at
tainable by the human optic.
It was a shabby thing of the man in
the seat next to hers to leave his Lou
don umbrella leaning like a half-shut
drawbridge from his seat. He does soC
like to have it snapped in twain by the
onslaught of the lady. It makes noise,
and she tumbles helplessly into ber seat,
wondering if ever again she can twist
herself into comfortable position and
be sure of the whereabouts of the differ
ent portions of her attire.
There Is a deficiency in her propor
tions. Her legs were not made to fit
the seat of the orchestra chair. To be
exact, they do not reach the floor. She
baa noticed this deficiency before, but
now it is accentuated by tho sidelong
twist she has given her velveteen skirt.
The gentleman immediately behind
takes this time to lean forward and In
quire if she will kindly remove her hat,
Sup raises "ber velveteen arms obedi
ently to still-hunt for her hatpins and
down goes her opera glasses with a
bang, followed by her muff and pocket
liannkerchief. The gentleman on her
right knows he ought to pick them up,
but he remembers his broken umbrella
and looks the other way with a sniff.
The man on her left makes a dive and
spends some moments feeling about un
der tho seats with his neatly gloved fin
gers. She thanks him in a hushed whis
per as he emerges and deposits the err
Ir.g articles In her lap;
She continues to forage for her hat
pins. There are five of them Jp braided
yridiron through her pompadoured hair.
Ard yet the newspapers are full of let
ters from indignant men, inqulringwny
woman does not remove her headgear In
public places. "'v..
She pulls out one and puts it In her
mouth. It is a deadly menace to the Ufa
c. r. .1 ...,-'.. ' 1 . i
her right shudders and imaginary rem
nants of bis umbrella pierce his soul.
. This is but a beginning. She pulls out
second, a third, it fourth, a fifth, and
Micks Iheia In her belt. ' She gives her
im premonitory shake to see if it is
loosening from its moorings.
T'ao Pyramids themselves are not
more firmly embedded. There must be
auo'.her pin. - . '
Bat where? The' people around to a
. radius of three seats deep are becoming
Interested.,. She blushes to a crimson
bue and tries to screen herself behind
the tall woman in front. '.
Several more things slide down her
lap and find a noisy resting place upon
the floor. Nobody picks them up. The
bat ...occupies, the center of the staxe.
The limelight of attention is focused
upon it.
She feels cautiously about underneath
the flowersand at the roots of the feath
ers. No pin. She gives a yank to the
bat, thereby unsettling the foundations
of her hair. Hat and hair are still Insep
arably united.
Where is that luring will o' the wisp.
the knob of the last hatpin? She plunges
wildly among puffs and frills, tearing
lace and ripping velvet. Her shining,
well groomed tresses tremble at the on
slaught. The hat retains them in ha
erablike grip.
The programme, goes on with undis
turbed serenity, but what is that to her f
it is easier to play trombone or ket tle
drums than kindly to remove her hat.
She notes the baldheaded man in the
scat next the aisle resting his polished
pate upon a thoughtful hand, and a feel -
Ing of unchristian envy gnaws within
her. His hat pumes off and on at will.
The gentleman behind Is getting rest
less because he cannot see the gyrations
of the conductor and the faces that the
haut-boy players maite, and says thinga
to the lady, with him, whose meekly
parted hair and psyche knot at the tiapa
of her neck are lessons to her glisters.
Her hat was fastened by a rubber band
nd lies quietly in her lap. It Is a vagua
.construction, with uncertain outlines,
and was probably of English origin.
-': . But wait. The structure is yielding;
Suddenly.,. unexpectedly, the irrespon
sible, source of trouble, the elusive hat
"pin, gives a leap Into the air and lands
In tie back of the lady in front. She
quivering with, agony, gives a muffled
t,hrleH and turns and glares at her un
witting antagonist.. .V, , ; '
The gentleman whose umbrella was
broken sympathetically plucks the
weapon out and returns It to the owner,
.with a steady stare of disapproval. Sh4
tries to murmur apologies to the victim,
whose companion rubs her between th
shoulders and coldly Ignores all proffers
Of assistance. General attention is again
focused on the lady, this time wlta
marked disapprobation. .
But calm, has come. The hat Is off.
and makes another object to be guarded sorrow. The soldier becomes n ligbt
tn her limited lap. ; , , I some boy . nt her feet: the anxlottst
,. Her hair Is In wild confusion. 1Komo- 'Rtentriij fcmtlc himself back to the
body glands her a programme and she tree benrted youth beside her nud the
Iriea tc ret ber bearings. In vain. A rtlll. nnd shaded conntennttee of csre
nilfd Is before ber eyes and her spirit has brightens brnettth Iter lnfluf iiee. as the
been duelled. cbaert flower blooms In the sunshine.
The programme Is, Inscribed within a
sttirII space, and advertisements of hair,
(ill, confectionery, soaps, theuterg, pho
tographers and kindred matter loom
lurre before her uncertain vision.
i'M Rives It up, and sits meekly
through largo, scherzo and presto look
ing forward to the end, the time when
. tie dilapidated, hat rill again have to
I a welded on and her icattered belong.
' -n (roped for lu the stillness of tha
ien toaJl. N. T. Sun.
arse It is lawful to use the Gag
vrtlslng purpoficR. Look at all
".clans that have mtdo itl
y. wond,
OLD TIME DENTISTRY.
later Inltrimnll la Harvard Den
tal Srhaol'a Collection.
Like many other of the "new- pro.
fessions, deulititry is a very okl one.
It is known that 4tO years before tiie pins. "Ill tell you, though. Its le
begipning of the Christian era Egyp- cause our clothes are d:3er?nt, and
tin dentist filled teeth with gold, bat take longer to put on."
no trace of their methods of doing their ; "I don't see why ibey sUoiibl, said
work bns ever been found. Aeacula- Mr. Pecherlcy. "All you have to do is
plus, the patron of physicians, was tho to sliy on "
first famous dentist in Roman history,! "That will be enough frora you on
and the old Romans used a toothpick hat subject, thank you." said his wife,
very much like the little wooden one Srmly. "If you want to do something,
that is made today. The Arabians ..nstead of standing there fussing and
ages ago produced a dentifrice, but it akins roe nervous, you may hook my
soon seemed to bo very geuerally used. raist up behind."
The story of dentistry U told In the
Instruments It lias employed. As they
are known today they had their be
ginning In the sixteenth century, but
1 wi ! .. t . . 1 1 1 i t. 1... Iuiah am In 1 1 n
Harvard Dental school in a ston tnere
is a collection ol instruments uwu ny
dentists in the first bait of the last cen
tury. One of the formidable tools it
Includes Is what was called a key,
doubtless from ' Its peculiar shape,
which: was used for extracting teeth,
fbe process, being to slowly and pain
fully twist and pry the offending molar
ont of its place. In order that no mis
take should-be made the dentist bi'gan
operations by hammering and prod
ding one tooth nfter another with a
sort of bludgeon until be bad sntisd.-d
himself not to mention the tortured
patient that he had foaud the most
sensitive one and therefore the most
likely candidate for extraction. ,
The grandfathers of the delicate r,te?I
tools that lie In rows on tho modern
dentist's table were small lu number,
but large In awfulness. There are in
the Harvard collection chisels and mal
let. nido. 'forceps for removing the
teeth, miniature crowbars used to re
pair cavities for filling, files for sharp
ening the cutting and grinding sur
faces of teeth and one particularly
horrid Instrument, known as the pel
ican, with which teeth were "lifted."
How rapidly and recently dentistry
has become one of the important
sciences appears In the fact that in
Ibe middle of the last century blacksmiths-were
doing their best or worst
0 relieve the victims of the tooth
ache, white today institutions like the
Harvard Pen tit I school attract stu
dents from all over tho world. Be
sides, while It was sure torture to go
to the dentist in the so called "goo I
old days," such a visit now Is com
paratively comfortable, so far has the
profession pone In the dirct(on of per
forming its 0eratloiis without caus
ing pain. i
BITS FROM THE WRITERS.
There is nothing in life worth mak
ing a secret of except one's income.
Scton Merriman.
Civilisation means universal civility,
and to be civil to everybody argues a
great power of telling lies. Eden Thill
potts. .
How exquisite in life is tho art of not
Feeing ninny things and of forgetting
many thst hnve been se:n! Jaiuea
I.ano Allen.
Tnii-ras, whether they He in-tin?
depths of thought or on the surface,
are at r.tiy rate tho, pearl of expert
once. fleorge Meredith.
Have vm never rv 1 i
-o,. I
colisdeiitiMu j t,.,;.c'. ; . . .i vii !" ...
it somehow manage to s I ttoae vi.h
out you? Henry Kailai'.d.
Relations, as somebody said, are dis
agreeable acquaintances inflicted upon
by Providence. But It is no ma
losing one's temper about what they
say. It only pleases them. Ulchanl
Bagot.
-'
,
An 'Intereatfaff Kxpertmcot..
A vessel cotitaiuing a certain white
powder la placed upon the table, when
the operator advances, waving bis
waud und uttering some magic words
coined by himself, when, lo, of a sud
den the room Is lighted up with a br!l-
1 ilnt lig'at, so effulgent thr.t it dims the
eyes of the spectators. The secret Is
this: The powder is composed of equal
weights of loaf .sugar mid chlorate of
potash, separately reduced, to fine pow
der and then well mixed .together. This
Is pltired In u cup, and, when the pow
der Is touched with tho. least.. drop of
sulphuric ncid it will Instantly burst
Info a Heme. The end of tlie glass rod
eiiould.bo dipped In the ncid Immediate
ly before use.
f'Kreftitly I.cd t'p To.
: "Y'onder," said the party' of the Jlrf t
part, "Is the btjse In which I was born.
We lived on the first floor. McBootu
Huntington, the great tragedian, occu
pied the- u;per apartment. He was
not oury famous actor, but a singu
larly fortunate man."
' "Tbeti," responded the party of the
second imrt. "you were born under a
lucky star, eh?". .
N. II. -The iiiaiuigeiueut liegs to state
that If considers this one of the most
' elaborately worked out Jokes we have
produced this season. Louisville Cou-
rler J jurnal.
Woman'a Vrvnoair,
. What n consoler is woman! N.i pr
eneo but hers can win n iii(tti from bis
American Queen.
Drpt-ncla.
"Do you tielleve the old
'There's no place Uko honie?'"
"That depends." .
"Depends uiiuU what?"
snylng,
"Up 6u wlioe home yoii are referring
to." Cleveland Plain Denier,
Mo-! Wr-ll KnoiTii Down HeiT.
ftmnll girl, ffl 1'ed, being rend to by
nn elder cousin. Stunll Girl When 1
die, shall 1 go to besven, Mary?
Mary-Oh, yett, If yon nro n good girl.
Small Old I want to nre Moses. - 1
shall tell him I heard finite a lot about
him ewn here.-Londou Globe,
LENDING A HAND.
"I supposo you dont understand
why," said Mr?. Pecherley, from the
sorner of her mouth net. occupied by
"Hook it up?"
"Certainly. Fasten it. Or, if you
j don't feel equal to it. you may call
! Mary. Hand me that comb, please-
not the dressing comb, you Dig
eoosc ttt0 back comb there,
Thank
you.
Now. you may ho'd the waist
for me oh. that's the wfong side; it
hooks behind. I should think you
would know that. Don't crumple the
silk up. Now, if you want to, call
Wary."
"I'll do it," said Pecherley. "If you
et Mary up you'll be half an hour
onger."
"I don't think. you can do tt, any
nay." "I'd like to know why I can't. You
put the hooks in the eyes, don't you
.'s there anything more to it than
that?"
"No, but
"Did you think I'd put the eyes into
the books? Here, stand around to
the light, please, my dear. I can't see
in the dark. All right. Now, don't
fidget around. Stand stilt 1 don't see
any hooks on this at all."
,"Oh. pshaw! Here, let me do it. It
breaks my arms lifting them this way.
Now, are yoa looking where my finger
is?"
"Oh, there? Well. let me get at it.
Creak your arms! If women had any
sense at all they would make their
clothes so they could lift their arms.
How do you think I button my collar
at the back?"
"Haven't you got that one hooked
yet?"
"No, madam, I haven't. If you had
a hook a man could see without a
microscope Now, I've got it but
I don't see any eye. Do you hook it in
the lace?"
"John Edward Pecherley, don't you
dare!"
"Well, I tell you there isn't any eye
on the blamed thing." .
"There Is, too a little loop of silk
cord. Use your own eyes, my dear."
"Why didn't you say so at first? 1
was looking for a proper eye like the
hook. Now you've moved arounu
strain so that I can't see ariythins."
"Got it?"
"Give me time, plear.e."
That's all 1 wanted.' It was you
who was hurrying."
"There, I've got it now. There's the
next one."
" "You're getting along splendidly,
aren't you?"
"It ii.n't such an awfully compli
cated tnafnese.- I'm no lady's maid,
biU I've got horse sense find now.
wheres the next eye? Oh, here it is?
U you have to have these fool loops, j
1 fchMtdd think you would have them
.." i :ck silk, instead of white, so that
a fc'.'.ow could see them."
"You ought to copyright your ideas
and submit them to the next dress
makers' congress."
"This concerned, blamed, everlast
ing hook won't go into the loop. What's
the matter with the blooming thing,
anyway?"
"I expect the'hook has been closed
when the waist was pressed. Pry it
open a little. No. don't take my mani
cure scissors. Haven't you got a
pocket kniffl?"
. "Yes, thank you. I have, but I don't
care about nicking the blade on youi
dress hooks. , Perhaps ycu'd like to
have me take my razor."
"Take anything you like. Only 1
can't stand up here much longer, and
don't ay things like that, even below
your breath. It's not nice.
"Well, I split my thumb nail."
"Did you get the hook open?"
"That's all you care about. Isn't it?
Yen, 1 got it open, confound it! Now,
If you want, to dance a jig. why, Just
Bay r.o, and I'll quit until you gel
through. I can't do anything when
you dance about like a hen on a hot
gridiron." , . .:. . 1 f
"How many.hno&t hate you done?"
' "Almost IT. I think. I'm afraid
there aren't more than 20 or 30 more
Of all the cursed, idiotic contrivance
1 ever saw!"
"Why don't you let me have Mary?'
"Dp you think she'd have done It
any oulckod?"
Mre. Percherley coughed diplomat
ically. "Let me call her now, dear,"
she Faid, gently.
No, I'm through now Just through
and hello! What a wrong now? Oh j
ray suffering aunt! .Well, ding don?
the hlim-blamed Imbecile well. It will
have to go the way it Is. You can Hi
your belt over It to hide it."
"What 1 it?" asked Mrs. Pecherley.
In alarm. "H.we you torn It?"
"Torn? No!" Sfiid Percherley, in
an ecHtany of .exasperation. "I've got
It hooked up higher on one slrtu than
the other. I guess I have misled a
few of th hooks at. the top."
Mre. Percherley swept pant him to
the" door. "Mary!" che called. "Mary,
come ere!" -
"Well," growled Percherley.. ait lit
left th' room, "I'm not going to watt
more than another hour, anyway."
CblcnK" Dnlly News, ,
Not ft Cash Basds.
Wife Mrs. Splurglt bays she 13 very
particular always to pay .her calls on
time. . .
Husband Well, she's consistent, any
way; the Splttrglts pay everything 'on
time."- Detroit Free Pre:s.
Many moo tako delight in calling at
tention to the good there 1 in them.
THE HOTEL CHILD.
Dmirr. That Rrr( Ihf Larkira Off
kfftrinic of H-t!i.a 1'arrnto.
It 1 uot tlie uiatiTl i! aids t ex-i-trnee
wLi'to are tha bane of the b.)'.el
child; i Is the rjoiitul md spiritu.il ut
tittt.le c :;ipanj1R this life wh;-h
is to b uepr.sMttst. If d itr.iVH a
deiiij-r;itio s,i; it t!.r.i't'J ..plias;;
the tiilTerem e be:weu the sei , ant and
tue servnl, It ex:i-eratea the i
of tn.rt'o;-, footers a snir t of dfpeiid- I
ence and unfit the pjuipe.'ed uilivid-
uai for any other kind of life, an 1, ' tt,w. TLe more vulgar of her aoquain
worst of all. irr n chill s- b-ouptit m ; cs it was no great latch,
there c.u be no unde.mncli:--. or K "V j Uoatiiee, the younger sister, was for
of home. There may be s tme future j turaie raough to obtain the post of
for t'ie cliill who feuw nmhi:ic of j veriiess to Mrs. Pawling's three dear
art, ?oii!c f miction for the ore to wh ;. i
literature n.akcs no appeal mid vim I
nnt seusitive to iim-de, but fiere is no
plaee in t'ie Ktate for the man who lias
neither Initiative, self rellan e, i-atrlot-
isni nor love of bom?. He I a s.K-.al j
menace, a di-ease. The co:r,n:i:tif.y is
better orr without this satellite of the
manager, parasite of ibe WW boy an I
simrceof supply for the waiter.
If there is one child in o tr communi
ty who H sttpertlnons it Is t!ie bold
child. As places fiir tei.ip.ir.iry oe u
patlotj by bonielrss and c'iild!,'v ailttlt
hotels nre to be tolerated, br.t cs r-si-drnces
for children they are w,t)iut
the possibility of excuse. Mi ? M.r".u i
S. r.enslcy in Every b Kly's Mavt.ixiue.
FIVE MINUTES.
t nilcr Soinr t Ircnmrrtiinccd It Srrm
a Vi-ry tons Time.
Ill a nittnlcr. trial bt f ere a wrtera
court the prisoner was l!e to account
for the whole of bis time except live
minutes on i oveiit when tlie ruie
wai CDiiiir.itted. His counsel ::r;:'ie:l
that it was impossible for bi'n to have
killed the man wider tlie circumstances
In so bicf a period, and on that plea
largely ba-ed his defense, t'ie other
testimony being strongly agaiiut his
client.
"When the prjsecin!nR attorney re
plied, he said: "How lonsr a time really
Is five uiinutes? Let us see. Will bis
bono!' command absolute sileuee iu the
courtroom fjrtbnt space?"
The judere graciously complied. There
was u dock on the wall. Every eye in
the courtroom was fixed upon it as the
pendulum ticked off'tlie seconds. There
was a breathless silence.
XYe nil kuow bow time which is
waited for creeps and halts and nt last
does not seem to move at all.
Tlie keen witted counsel waited untii
tlie tired audience gave a slgb of relief
at the close of the. period, and then
asked rptleUy:
"Could be not have struck one fatal
blow in all that time?"
The prisoner was found sriilty, a ad,
on it was proved afterward. Justly.
THE DOG'S COAT.
RrtiKh It. lot To Sot Wnli It, If Ton
Want, ft IVrfcot.
In the Country Calendar Reginald F.
ulahew writes: "Even careful feeding
will not give a dog's coat that gl jv
which is such a sure t:i;;n of health U'
be is continually washed with soap and
wnTer. Owners who allow tlesir 'drwr
to live In. Hit hnn:'.,- ere forever wn dl-
lug the wretched animal and forever
compiain mat nis coat is coming out
The oftener the dog Is washel aud
scrubbed JIio more will bis coat leave
its trail and the deader and duller will
it 1 id;. Tho health and growth of a
dog's coat depend entirely on it natu
ral oil from the skin. As oUi n as the
dog U washed so often is the oil wash
ed out nud so much more i.-i the de
struction of the coat. If a dug were
brushed every day for five cr ten min
utes against as well at with tin; grain
his co-it would not only hive ti Ir.s er,
but would ceao to distribute Itsi If all
over the place except for" a very short
time once or twice n year. Il.-side.-t
this, brushing has a stituulntln:,' ef
fect on the whole kj stein, helps the
blood circulation; by till i the digestion,
and so the general health."
MneInlirn' I".;iia:rn!ni.
TAben Marshal MacMabon In the
Crimean camriaign tnk the Malakoff
by storm and wrote his celebrated di
pate!). "Jy sttis, j'y reste" ("Hero I
am; here I stay"), these words made
him famous all over the world. Vet
bra friends said tbat the worthy dildler
bad written them in the most matter
of fact manner, with no thought of
phrase making. Tbe.mnst. surprised
person over the sueects of this epi
gram was MncMahon himself.
Cranio In tlie t rain.
People who nre subject to cramp In
the legs .'Should always be provided
with a good strong piece of cord, espe
cially In their bedrooms. When tbe
cramp conies on take tbe cord, wind It
round the leg over the phiee where it
1 cramped, take an end In each blind
and give it: a sharp pull, one tlmt will
hurt a little, nnd the cramp will cease
Instantly, People much subject to
cramp In bed have found grat relief
from wearing on each leg n garter of
wide tape willed has fcvcral tbin slices
of cork Ktilcbod on to It.
The Tool He Lacked.
"Why don't you go to work?" snld a
charitable woman to a tramp before
whom she bad placed n nicely cooked
men I,
"I would," replied the vngrniit, "If I
hid the tools."
"Wlin t sirt. of tool do you want?"
asked fb hf)ste?.,
"A knife and fork," said tbe tramp.
Tit-Hits.
We Eul Too I'nat.
"Tbe trouble Is tlmt we eat too fa't,"
said tbe man v. ho worried iibou,t het.ltb.
"That's right." answered 'the timu
who worries about money. "Nome of
us eat so fiv.it that our Income can't
keep up with our grocery bills." Wash
bigton fctir.
tlei who comes up to hit own Idea of
greatite.ts must always have tad a very
low tandnrd of It in bis ralnd.-IIas
lltt.
DEATKICE'S CATCH.
EjT 3AKKV PAIIf.
W hen they ere respectively of thi
agu of IS aud ia it lcanw oecessar
tor lie two Miss Verniers 10 do some
'X'.ux for UiCiuielves. TLey iere or
ijlians aud they divided between them
fortune of ijtf a eur. The eldest
4:iJ plainer of the two, Ellen Venncr,
i.u,)k her own strong line at once,
ma,-riea a dissenting minister
She
anu
ma le for herself a little home in Iirix-
.in in liovs: moreover, she retained the
j.Oh! aim won lor nerseil some portion
if lic respi-ct and goodwill of Mr. and
Mrs. Pawling The three dear little
boy. kicked her with almost unneces-
iarv profusion and learnt very little
iivm her. Dul taeu boys will be boys,
and if we are to be fra:ik It must be
:imiucd that Beatrice Yenner had
ve:y little to teach. She had good food,
ehe bail 30 a year over and above her
private income, she had occasional hob
idr.js aud two eveuins dresses, and in
course of lime a still further blesiing
was to l.Kfa!l her.
..TLe further blessing came when she
had i'Ctii with the Pawling, about four
yesrs, and it was beginning to be said
by para ai:d mamma tbat the eldest of
the dear little boys certainly ought to
'o to school now. As he was by far
'.lie harder.! end most persistent kieker
of the three, r.eatriee heard this with
out regret; a governess would still be
wanted for the other two. It was at
this t'.iiie t cat Mr. Pawling's old friend.
Mr. Vcrdley. came to stay at the hons?
Mr. Yarulry was a youth of about 45,
r?y profe-ssion a stockbroker, unmar
Tit-1. priding himself somewhat on a
gnliaiu manner with the ladies. He
in3 chubby, tnbby and clean-shaven
His ha!:- was very thin on the top of
hisj head and he took something for It.
He ha I .in income of 2.000 a yeat
ntd the :sost commonplace mind In the
city, and l:e enjoyed both of them hor
oiujji y. His waa a mind that would
never make a fortune or come to
wreck. He was distinctly satisfied with
Mmself I do not know whether his
I'lieuds nr.d intimate relations told him
so or whether he bad found it all out
lor h:'n self, but at the moment when
lie raaic on that visit to the Pawlinga
'he flecision was firm and hot withitv
tbat ho must uot lead this gay buU
t'vily life any longer. He must settle
do'.vu.
His pa'lant but perfectly polite eye
full upon Beatrice Venner. lu the din-
tr.it room af'er dinner he inquired it
';e was fond of music, and added, aa
ho always did, that be himself waa
do voted to Jt, though he wan no per
former. Pulled up somewhat by Bea-
'.rlcc'a frank confession that she did
tot care for music in the least, heaua
ed, with a reasonable desire to please,
tbat ho himself knew that there were i
ether things, and that he could get i
along vary well without it i
There was no illegitimate secrecy!
about the man. That evening in thaj
smoking room he explained portentous- i
ly to Mr, Pawling his decision to mar
ry Mr. Pawling'8 governess.
"Good heavens! you don't say so.
eald Mr. Pawling. "Well," he added.!
".she's a very good girl, and this will
be a rare bit of luck for her."
Beatrice Venner accepted the rare
bit of luck with meekness and grati
tude. It was true that she was not in
the least iu love with Mr. Yardley, but
she admired his income and his other
estimable qualities Certainly, too, she r!Wj ,auws T0 ate 'Aay t,fore ye,l-r-was
not in love with anybody else. Sht ! day ls at tbe ,)oUoD) oi tlte trouble.
:.r , l""l""":,"a lue
VeoatVti mont- iinniti-ii,il.,:,, rr
, uom i er Bisier cuen was or a
suu"ac,tt luaracier- laM
nig that she did not expect that they
"cauH:j uuwn aM
Briston after this. .She also added that
omacienuoua scruples would not allow
,,uu,u BUO """" Ul "eiuicj uown at!
ner mt.iiiantt ami herseif to be present
at a weddirg in a church. This did
not prevent Beatrice from being mar-
ned In a church in a beautiful whit
dress and a beautiful lace veil, with !
two bridesmaid.", with tbe youngest'
"5 "a llmr wui ine-voiee
that-breathed-oer-Kden and, generally
Bpeaking, with pomp.
. , .
She waa quite happy in a placid way
for some time after her marriage and
she 'did not drop the sister down at
Brixton. Beatrice bad no children and.
ber sister had many. Beatrice thought
of adopting one of them. Her husband,
kindly, ;but firmly, thought not. She
had bee.n married eight years and the
edge of the luxuries had worn off; hei
remarkable luck had become quite com
monplace, and she waa beginning to
find her husband a very slow man, with
a tendency to hypochondria, and one
day she went to Brixton to her sister's
squalid abode to play a game with hei-
sister's new baby, which was a perfect
beauty.
. She was late in returning and found
that, her husband had already got back
from the city and was going round the
gardens. It was springtime and she
found tiira standing in the orchard, his
frock coat and his IIU hat still on him,
looking grotesquely out of place. Ho
pointed out the fruit prospect with
gravity and with some knowledge of
the subject,, "It's a queer thing," he
oald, "that this one tree has got no
blonsoms on it at all,"
"I'm r.lad," the snapped furiomdy.
He stared at her with bis little eyes
wide open.
"No. I'm not glad," she added quick
ly, and pressed Iter lips to the rough
bark of the tree and kissed It.
"My dear child," he said In gentle
reinotrit ranee, "have you gone quite
Dial?" , , '...:'.
, "No," one said, "hut I think I Shall.".
Then she ran lido the bouse and h
followed laboriously to luqutro whai
she was crying about.
, Affair of the Heart.
That men In the east, who Is the proud
possetisor of "two he-arts that beat a
rnn" would make great hero in a sen
national lor affair.
AO Aoirral Story For
Little Folks
Judge Grocods!
Th:rc w:3 a di'H' betw vH a Wild;
at end a y j.ni? ticr us t who (.boiild
smoUe a cis?:tr they fjtiad one day, and
It was decided t leave tlie question ta
the crocodile.
'You both want this ci;;ar?" said the
crocodile.
Yes," tbey replied together .
"I claim it beeatisc I have been a
very good little fellow," said the tiger.
"And I claim it because I nm a bad
fellow to trllle with in a matter of this
kind," said the wildcat.
"Very we!!." said the crocodile. "I
will try the cigar, and If it is a good
one I will give It to the tiger, find if it
is a bad one I will give it to the wild
cat." "
Then be struck n match and lit the
cigar and puffed awr.y right merrily.
hb rcirat a war imoht si,aj:iiLX.
Gradually the cigar was consumed
while, the two animals wailed impa
tient:' for the ve.-.ii, t. Wlren the cigar
became so short tbat it nearly burned
tho crocodile's mouth he said;
"My friends, it Is impossible for me
to tell whether this is a good cigar or
a bad cigar, and, as there. is nothing
left of It now, your dl.jif.te may as
we',1 be forgotten. In- the meantime if
yon f.ud r.'.y moi e c g irs. 1 1 1 ie ki. a .
and I vw'l m'.m! thein f r rn" And
With a leer-v l.,"g'i he I li g. d in
the river end sam a.vy, St. LoiiiS
Post IM-patih
THL DCC'iO.v
He I.i Nr.t Drcflict lv tlie So
rtis
It W is Lite, the i' Ml ,i ' C ? b I 1
titber p.is.;e I a .vev ' were ineiHinf.-.
rud he v as slt.ni,; n i a n ' : Ci
j Lis ae(;u.'uiitiinees in a corner of the
j club room.
j "Pa a stT-inm I po ve leui,"
j drouid C e : -Til of .i.ed . i ' . tl t'ie
I grim d t i ! u, p- ot i ? l ii'o,
j but 11 )W and t'icil we get a lrig'1 o' i
of it--a laugh with the 1:1 on, of
1 course, we ean't nITu'd (j --hw vp'w
amused. I often wonder," be went Oil
genially, "why some of you chaps ever
Bend for a physician. You don't tell
htm the truth onee In twenty times.
You're In a bad way and you're sorry,
and to bear you talk I'd think your
mouths were cold storage boxes for
butter.. You suspect that lobster or a
"
Yen know what.' curled you up,
ami
,ou-re f.-igbteued out of
year's
growth for fear I'll learn,
"Accordingly. Instead of taking me
IrJn v.nir cnlt.tnnco mil tell inn
Into your conBdei.ee, you tell ni.
lmpossiljIo ,,.,.. Au,i if t cl-0.iS
auilne you (.ll)f,(,lv 0a i,(l!ge yo
s ex
you
lo
you'll reluctantly admit
that you've
been somewhat Indiscreet. .Yoa smoked
four cigars Thursday and took six
drinks. Doesn't it ever occur to ymi
that I know by your flutters that you
smoked from breakfast to bed and
took Bixtcen brinks and six more for
good lueasurt.?
If j W(Jre t0 Moyr, vou nmI d(Mp
you for your ailments as you describe
, ,, t,,m .ti fiw nn,i
! then ,'linv0 to B,vo yo Btrychnlfte and
nitroglycerin to restore the action of
the heart, and to listen to you 1 might
conclude that you'd had too much pink
Ice at a children's party. .
"As I hinted,. we doctors get some
fun out of It, but what do you do It
for?.. We were not always doctors, wo
haven't nlways taken the best care of
ourselves, und we're not fools."--Providence
Journal,
FEATHERED GLUTTONS.
Some Very Urccily Wid Ttmt
Are
Trctneniluiia I'eeUcra.
.Dosplto the fact that "the appetite
of n bjrd" bus become u common phraco
for ljght eating, Investigations show
that birds tire tremendous feeders. Tbe
diet of tbe average kestrel (a small Eu
ropean hawk) ,1s calculated nt 1.000
mice a month, to say nothing of Insects
nnd worms. Tbe barn owl is as vora
cious as the kestrel. An investigator,
nfter raging one of (bene Wrdo. gtvo It
seven mlee one afler the' other. ' Tint
first six. immediately disappeared, en -b
with a gobble nnd n gulp, nr.d the owl
did It very be.t to treat the seventh
in n like meti'ir. ' Limitation of nb
domlnnl capacity, however, prevented.
and though tbe gobble enn-.e off the
gulp did not, so that for tweniy tuin
ntes or so tbe tall of tlie seveulli mouse
dangled from the corner of tbe bird's
beak. Hut in due course It swallowed
tbe body, and three hours later the
pang-: of hunger reasserted th'etuselvts
and the owl ate four more mlee. .
Four pound would ben 'heavy weight
for a heron. Yet one of tlio'.e birds,
which was trapped In England, dis
gorged two recently swallowed trout,
one of which weighed two pounds tjniJ
tii.o other n and a half po'tnd t. An
J)!f , "ji .-vd !ej fJ'jI '.i.J put
J O .O
away three trout averaging three-quarter.,
of a pouiul njiloce, although it w.n
ou'y four menihs old, ami nuotliee bad
dined upon uevcu small trout, together
with mouse and a thrush.
Among the greediest birds are wood
p!ge.n.-!, which will continue to gnly
down forx.l until their crops nre almt
nt the btirstiuif point. From one of
tber.e birds, idiot as It was rettirninr
from a raid In the fields, no fewer than
StK) grains of wheat were taken. An
other bad eaturlved to cram down mi
fewer than (W peas. A third was en
deavoring to sustain nature with 1 if
beech unu and a fourth with sixty
acorns.
CrcTitini-: the Fnxhfona.
Who sets the fashions? Hoinetline-
an original idea emanates from a bum
ble workwoman, mid nfter fusion hi
Oe brain and Improvement! and stig-
, g -st ions given by the great autocrat it
emerges. Minerva like, lu full panoply,
complete and victorious. Numbers f
diligent seekers, a horde of assistants,
voluminous aides, sketches, idens, are
pressiil Into the service. Artists lend
tbeir willing services, while the sarto
rial adept combines, exaggerates, al
ters old modes, culling, like the bee,
fliiwers of fancy here and there until
the bright vision of beauty is nv.lized
and the forthcoming styles ore divided
on. London Graphic.
ostlv rirreponilent.
"I see that a letter supposed to have
been written by Henry VIII. has Jtift
brought .l0iO."
"That's nothing. A letter of mine
just brought ?10,000."
"Indeed?"
"Yes; to a girl who stied me for
breach of promise." Louisville Cou-rler-Iounuil.
Tlie Sepnrntlon.
Mrs. Groga n -Kegan an' bis wlfe
had a fierce scrap. Mrs. IIogrm-Au'
did they separate? Mrs. Grogau They
did, but Keegan was most dead before
th' cops could get tb' twisters on Mrs.
Keegau nn' separate tlilm! Puck.
rnTlnii the Way
"rias Harold asked your father tr
give bis consent?"
"lie told father last flight that be bad
made $.",(hhi in a real estate deal, so I
suppose he's nsUlttg l:im on the Install
ment plan." Milwaukee Journal..
No man is matriculated to the nrt of
life till he has been well tempted.
Ceorga Kllot.
Hi End of !; World.
Tlmt the earth will eventually dry up
j and nil living thlum v.iil .tie of thirst
h the theory of a scicdibe writer. He
hiys that in both Afr.eu and Aia, aud
iivieeil hi all the great levels of the
world, the water bods are drying up.
M my lakes well i;noxn during t!ie his
torical period have euf.ivlj d"."pj'c.ir
ed, while others are slriineg rapidly.
"Explorations In ' cen'ual Asia have
proved tbat for centuries a none stretch
ing front tlie east to the soutbeust of
this part of the czar's dominion.. nasi
ben drying tip. Deserts nre gradually
spreading, and. report a show that It I
only In the .nelghbovbood of mountains
round win e bnv.s vapors condense
and fall, that irrigation can be carried
on or life itself can be preserved." ,
Junt 'Wlmt lie Mennt.
An American hi Imdon once attend
ed a dinner where Henry Arthur Jones
told a story about Heerbohm Tree.
"Mr. Tree," said the playwright, "met
a frleud of bis one afternoon in Itegent
street.
"The two stood and conversed a little
while, and then Mr. Tree said:
" 'Have you been down to see me act
lately, my boy?'
"'No; too poor,' said the other.
"Too poor,' Mr. Tree exclaimed.
'Why, you spend enough on wine and
cigars'
"But tbe other, nettled, Interrupted.
"I don't mean I'm too poor. I mean
you'ro too poor,' be said.''
A Q nn I nt lnncrlpi toe.
An old churchyard near London la
famous for tbe Inscription on Its tomb
stones. There is one on tbe memorial
of Susannah Rarford, died 1052, net. 10
years nnd 13 weeks. The concluding
lines beneath the skull and erossbones
on ber moniiriient are; !
Her tane was ehort, her thread wm
tpilukly ipiitin,
Prawno out and eutt, itot heaven, her
worke was dnne.
This w-erli.1 to her wan hot n. tr'asH! ptay.
Shoo rum and naw't( rilrOlk't and paused
nway.
Inanrnoce nnd Axxnrmicc ,
"Pfl' asked Tommy, "what's the d If
fereitco between 'assurance' and 'Insur
ance?' " ; ;
"Well, ray son, one la what tbe agent
has, nnd the other Is what be persists in
trying to sell you." Catholic Standard
and Times.
M. & 0
BULLETIN
Seond o!it Dnt-wy Colonist Tlete
tt to California.
fSt.CS, Cairo to Ban rmncUeo, Lot
AngwlMi, San Plego and all otbr
points, taking th California common
rale. '
TlcltetB oM March 1st to Ky
and Bept ltta to October I) at, 1101.
Lauderdalt 8prlngs, Miss.
On lino of Mobile and Ohio railroad,
fiw round trip rates dally. Apply to
M. and O. railroad agents tor particu
lars. ' : .-'.''
Any further Infroroatltrii regaraSnf
the above ratei will he furnished a pus
application to the undersigned.
mO. M. BKALL, O. P. iL
v,,,ta ,i( ML tcniw, ML ;
J, H. 0N8,Ti.fArtt,
Cln.tl ....J