The Kenna record., January 09, 1914, Image 6

About The Kenna record. (Kenna, Roosevelt County, N.M.) 190?-1924

Image provided by: University of New Mexico

                
THE RECORD, KENNA, NEW MEXICO.
1)
FOR
SLUGGISH LIVER
No sick headache, sour stomach,
biliousness or constipation
by -morning.
Get a 10-cent bos now.
Turn the rascals out the headache,
biliousness, Indigestion, the sick, sour
Btoinach and foul gases turn them
out to-night and keep them out with
Cascarets.
Millions of men and women take a
Cascaret now and then and never
know the misery caused by a lazy
liver, clogged bowels or an upset stom
ach. Don't put in another day of distress.
Let Cascarets cleanse your stomach;
remove the sour, fermenting food;
take the excess bile from your liver
and carry out all the constipated
waste matter and poison In the
bowels. Then you will feel great.
A Cascaret to-night straightens you
out by morning. They work while
you sleep. A 10-cent box from
any drug store means a clear head,
sweet stomach and clean, healthy liver
and bowel action for months. Chil
dren love Cascarets because they
never gripe or sicken. Adv.
CHANCE FOR OBJECT LESSON
Bivalves Would Have Little Prospect
of Escape If Karl Really Got
Started Romancing.
"Talk of opening oysters," said old
Hurricane, "why, nothing's easier, If
you only know how."
"And how's how?" inquired Star
light. "Scotch snuff," answered old Hurri
cane, very sententlously. "Scotch
snuff. Bring a little of it ever so near
their noses, and they'll sneezethelr
Uda oft."
"I know a genius," observed Karl,
"who has a better plan. He spreads
the bivalves in a circle, seats himself
in the center, and begins spinning a
yarn. Sometimes it's an adventure In
Mexico, sometimes a marvelous stock
operation on the exchange.
"As he proceeds, the 'natives' get
Interested one by one they gape
with astonishment at the tremendous
whoppers which are poured forth, and
as they gape my friend whips them
out, peppers 'em, and swallows them."
"That'll do," said Starlight, with a
long sigh. "I wish we had a buBhel
of the bivalves here now; they'd open
easy."
Out of Date.
Muggins She's such an old-fash
ioned girl.
Bugglns How do you mean old'
fashioned?
Muggins She is positively effemi
nate.
Extravagant Diet.
"My, but that woman's got money to
throw away!"
"How do you know?"
"Didn't you Just hear her order
oft-boiled egg?"
SELF DELU8ION.
Many People Deceived by Coffee.
We like to defend our Indulgences
and habits even though we may bo
convinced of their actual harmfulness.
A man can convince himself that
whiskey is good for him on a cold
morning, or beer on a hot summer day
when he wants the whiskey or beer.
It's the same with, coffee. Thou
sands of people suffer headache and
nervousness year after year but try to
persuade themselves the cause is not
coffee because they like coffee.
"While yet a child I commenced
using coffee and continued it," writes
a Wis. man, "until I was a regular
coffee fiend. I drank it every morning
and In consequence had a blinding
headache nearly every afternoon.
"My folks thought it was coffee that
ailed me, but I liked It and would not
admit it was the cause of my trouble,
so I stuck to coffee and the headaches
stuck to me.
"Finally, the folks stopped buying
coffee and brought home some Postum.
They made it right (directions ou
pkg.) and told me to see what differ
ence It would make with my head, and
during that first week on Postum my
old affliction did not bother me once.
From that day to this we have used
nothing but Postum In place of coffee
headaches are a thing of the past
and the whole family is in fine health
"Postum looks good, smells good.
tastes good, is good, and doea good to
the whole body."
Name given by Postum Co., Battle
Creek, Mich. Read "The Road to Well-
'vllle," in pkgs.
Postum now comes In two forms:
Regular Postum must be well
boiled.
Instant Postum Is a soluble pow
der. A teaspoonful dissolves quickly
In a cup of hot water and, with cream
and sugar, makes a delicious beverage
Instantly. Grocers sell both kinds.
Tbara'a a ReMon" (or Foitua.
liAbUAKt b
His Oratory Is Loud
WASHINGTON. It la not often that the little state of Delaware is heard
from In the house of representatives, but when she does arise to address
the chair she bellows like a bull. It wasworth while listening to Representa
allowed. In the midst of a hot debate
arose.
According to the gentlemen's statement," he said, "there are six cases
pending in Delaware. If that is a fact does It not indicate that corporal pun
ishment has not stopped these brutal crimes? In a little Btate like Delaware
you have six cases at the present moment in which whipping is to be ad
ministered."
The house was all ears.
"What state is the gentleman from?"
"New York," replied Representative
two states made the house laugh with
However. Representative Brockson
falo Smith that the last time four New
were given the whipping post treatment
The controversy reminded some of
gotten incident where a Delaware representative assailed the state of Texas.
He ranted for about an hour. Then a
"It gives me great pain," he said, "to
tleman from a state which has one county when the tide is up and one and a
half counties when the tide Is down."
Didn't Know Hearst, but
T ARKER ANDERSON of North Carolina mingles with the great ot tne na
if tlon with exactly the same nonchalance as he uses in lighting a cigar.
Parker knows cabinet officers by their
is always automatically reversed to "Welcome
when Parker strolls into the office of a senator or
representative. It was only a few days ago that
he paid a call upon Commissioner of Internal Rev
enue Osborn. The office was crowded with folks,
big and little, important and unimportant, job
hunters and 'patronage grabbers, and a clerk was
keeping them all back in line until the commis
sioner bad signed his mall.
"I would like to see my friend Osborn right
away, announced Anderson in a smooth voice.
"No one gets in that door ahead ot
nounced a shrill female who would
home brandishing a war ax. "I got here
'Pardon me, madam," said Anderson,
an attendant deferentially opened the
to pass within
Well, there are a lot of fellows like
they want to. You see, Anderson is a
nelb from the telegraph end.
They tell a story of him in his
light on the way the great men of the nation ask him to set down and listen
to stories. Once, when he was an operator here In Washington, 'some fellow
made an attack upon William Randolph
Mr. Hearst became extremely Interested.
and the New York American bureau was
story of the speech which was being made, and then Mr.. Hearst was going to
wire an editorial to his paper in the town where the fireworks were being shot
off.
The telegraph company sent Anderson over to the American bureau to
handle the key. His fingers spat lightning for an hour. During that time a long
person came out and sat by him. Anderson s cigar went out
"Say, old timer, get me a match,"
the long person a resounding- thwack
"All right," was the reply, and the
"Hlvlns," said the janitor. "Don't
"No," responded Anderson, still
meet him." .
She Gave the Crowd
t WOMAN with a nubia over her
t as spring water gave a crowd
noon. She was brisking along Seventh street when she stopped with
finances,
water eyes
trying to
Then and
yanked the
her lap and
She must
when you
calico cat
with red
ing, you
clerk bad tied Into a bow and there
safety pins and
The price of each purchase did the
gers on ber knee. But her anxiety
flash of belated memory, she pushed a
a pin with a glass eet that was better
big again as any emerald ever dared to
Tot obviously misting aims had
Though State Is Little
tive Brockson of that state when he took consid
erably more than an hour in his effort to divest
the house of the opinion that the whipping posts
of Delaware are Inhuman, brutal, unconstitutional,
and relics of a medieval age when pillories and
alleged witchcraft walked hand in hand.
Mr. Brockson received great applause for his
oratory, which is just as loud as that of Repre
sentative Slsson, who comes from a much larger
state, Mississippi; and the applau3e was not lim
ited to the members of the house. Over in the
southwest corner of the gallery sat a man who ap
plauded with his two hands just as loud as any of
members. In fact, when Mr. Brockson made a par
ticularly strong point this well-wisher clapped his
palms so vigorously that a doorkeeper had to ad
monish him that applause in the galleries Is not
one of the numerous Smiths of congress
aBked Delaware's .sole tepreBentative.
Smith, and the contrast between the
great glee.
came right back at him. He told uur-
York crooks came to Delaware they
and never came back.
the older members of an almost For
Texan, with a long mustache, arose:
hear my vast state assailed by a gen
Was Glad to Meet Him
first names, and the "Keep out" sign
me!" an
fSAY,Ol.DTlrie,CET')
have been at
first"
bowing, as
doosKor him
that, and a lot of good they can do if
newspaper man. He got Into the bus!
telegraph days, which may throw some
Hearst. It was a violent effort, and
He happened to be hore in the city
instructed by him to gt a telegraphic
he said, and he leaned over and slapped
on the leg.
lanky one went out and got a box full.
ye know that's Mister HearBt?"
making the key hum; "but I'm glad to
Something to Snicker At
foreign black hair and with eyes as fresh
something to snicker at the other after
shocked suddenness to look in her brown cord
bag. Something must have gone wrong with her
for the inventory brought to the spring-
that dlstratted look that comes from
think up where the money went
She repeated the rummage act, without relief.
here's where the free show came In.
She plumped herself down on the curbstone,
bag open and spilled its contents in
unwrapped each package.
have been an early Christmas shop
per woman, for her layout included a wool
knitted clown with brass symbals that strike
pull a string maybe, and there was a
and a tiny set of tea things decorated
flowers that come off at the first wash
know and a child's hair ribbon that the
was spool cotton and shoe laces and
woman count np by thumping her fin
showed no sigh of a let-up uutll, with
hand under her jacket and brought out
than a truly emerald, because it wa as
be and a whole lot greener.
been tracked to Iti UJr.
S CHILD CROSS,
SICK
Look, Mother! If tongue is
- coated, give "California
Syrup of Figs."
Children love this "fruit laxative."
and nothing else cleanses, the tender
stomach, liver and bowels so nicely.
A child simply will not stop playing
to empty the bowels, and the result is
they become tightly clogged with
waste, liver gets sluggish, stomach
sours, then your little one becomes
cross, balf-slck, feverish, don t eat,
sleep or act naturally, breath is bad,
system full of cold, has sore throat,
stomach-ache or diarrhoea. Listen,
Mother! See if tongue is coated, then
give a teaspoonful of "California
Syrup of Figs," and In a few hours all
the constipated waste, sour bile and
undigested food passes, out of the sys
tem, and you have a well child again.
Millions of mothers give "California
Syrug of Figs" because it Is perfectly
harmless; children love it, and it nev
er falls to act on the stomach, liver
and bowels.
Ask at the store for a 50-cent bottle
of "California Syrup of Figs," which
has full directions for babies, children
of all ages and for grown-ups plainly
printed on the bottle. Adr.
Some Big Pecan Trese.
Like the Persian walnut the pecan
long has been grown in this country,
but its commercial possibilities were
neglected. Some of the trees are of
enormous size and known to be very
old. In Mllledgevlllee, Ga., an old pe
can tree stands which Is known to
have been planted by tho Indians over
100 years ago. The owner values it
so highly that be has recently taken
out $300 fire insurance on it because
it has been so closely surrounded by
buildings that it is endangered. The
largest pecan tree on record is near
Little Falls, Okla.' It has an altitude
of 130 feet, a spread of 110 feet and a
trunk circumference of 23 feet
taken four feet from the ground. In
Louisiana, Oklahoma, Arkansas and
other sections pecan trees may be
found in forests, reaching 170 feet in
height
A GRATEFUL OLD MAM.
Mr.W.D. Smith, Ethel, Ky., writes!
"I have been using Dodd's Kidney Pills
for ten or twelve years and they have
done me a great deal of good. I do
not think I would be
alive today If It
were not for Dodd's
Kidney Pills.
strained my back
about forty years
ago, which left It
very weak. I was
troubled with inflam
mation of the blad-
W. D. 8mlth. ,jer. Dodd's Kidney
Pills cured me of that and the Kidney
Trouble. I take Dodd's Kidney Pills
now to keep from having Backache.
am 77 years old and a farmer. You are
at liberty to publish this testimonial.
and you may use my picture In con
nection with It." Correspond with Mr,
Smith about this wonderful remedy.
Dodd's Kidney Pills, SOc. per box at
your dealer or Dodd's Medicine Co.,
Buffalo. N. T. Write for Household
Hints, also music of National Anthem
(English and German words) and reel
pes for dainty dishes. All 8 sent free.
Adv.
Willing to Learn.
Pauline motored to the station to
meet her dearest friend, who was com.
Ing down for a week-end.
"Oh, Belle," cried Pauline, enthusi
astically, "do you know, Mr. Barnum,
the young millionaire, Is going to
teach me to swim." - -
"To swim!" exclaimed the guest,
wonderingly. "Why, Pauline, I thought
you had been taught already."
"Yes, so I have, dear," said Pauline,
"but not by him."
18 EPILEP8Y CONQUERED?
New Jersey Physician Said to Have
Many Cures to His Credit.
Red Bank, N. J. (Special). Advices
from every direction fully confirm
previous reports that the remarkable
treatment for epilepsy being admin
istered by Dr. Perkins of this city, is
achieving wonderful results. Old and
stubborn cases have been greatly
benefitted and many patients claim to
have been entirely cured.
Persons suffering from epilepsy
should write at once to Dr. H. W
Perkins, Branch 49, Red Bank, N. J.
for a supply of the remedy which Is
being distributed gratuitously. Adv.
Old One.
"Johnny, why did Washington cross
the Delaware?"
"Aw, why did de chicken cross de
street?"
Paur Knows Evervthlno.
Willie Paw, what is the greatest
lommon oivisori
Paw Divorce, my son.
TOMACH MY
GAS. USUI-
Pane's Diapepsin" fixes sick,
sour, gassy stomachs, in
five minutes.
Time it! in five minutes all stomach
distress will go. No indigestion, heart
burn, sourness or belching of gap, acid.
or eructations of undigested food, no
dizziness, bloating, or foul breath.
Pape'a Diapepsin Is noted for its
peed in regulating upset stomachs.
It Is the surest, quickest and most cer
tain indigestion remedy in the whole
world, and besides it Is harmless.
Please for your sake, get a large
fifty-cent case of Pape's Diapepsin
from any store and put your stomach
right. Don't keep on being miserable
life Is too short you are not here
long, so make your stay agreeable.
Eat what you like and digest It; en
joy it, without dread of rebellion la
the stomach. -
Pape's Diapepsin belongs In your
home anyway. Should one of the fam
ily eat something which don't agree
with them, or in case of an attack of
Indigestion, dyspepsia, gastritis or
stomach derangement at daytime or
during the night, It Is handy to give
the quickest relief known. Adr.
AS GREEK UNDERSTANDS IT
Student's Rendering of Shakespearean
Phrase Somewhat Literal, But
He Had the Idea.
A young Greek merchant of Wash
ington, who has been taking lessons In
English from a private tutor, has so
far advanced that his teacher recently
introduced him to the beauties and
perplexities of Shakespeare. He was
Instructed to read a passage several
times until he bad the Ideas firmly
fixed in his mind and then, closing the
book, to put these ideas into his own
English, following as closely as his
memory permitted the author's text
He had read over a soliloquy of
Othello's several times and was re
producing the Moor's somber thoughts
with pretty fair approximation to the
poet's words, but when he reached the
last line: "Farewell, Othello's occupa
tion's gone!" he stopped short, utterly
at a loss. The original phrasing had
quite escapped him. However, he had
grasped the idea, for after a few sac.
onds of frowning perplexity his brow
cleared.
'Ah. I hat eet!" he exclaimed. "Eet
es this: 'So long! Othello's lost hees
jopt'" New York Evening Post
Enjoy Being Miserable.
There are people so pitiably consti
tuted who, as Carlyle terms it, are
"rich in the power to be miserable."
Some people are never happy unless
they are miserable and make others
miserable. They never enjoy anything
except poor health that's their spe
cialty.
WHY CRIP IS DANGEROUS.
It I an Epldemio Catarrhal Feves?
Caused by a Bacillus that Ganw
My Laavaa the Patient Weak
After the Acuta Stage
Has Passed.
Grip Patients Grateful to Peruna, the)
Expectorant Tonio.
Do not make the error of regarding?
tnip as an exaggerated cold. Tber
la a big difference between the two.
Grip Is an epldemio disease that poi
son the vital organs. When a per
son has grip, the air passages are)
alive with millions of bacilli poison
ing the blood. The Infected person
feels tired and exhausted.
Peruna Is a Tonlo Laxative.
It requires a good tonlo laxative to
keep the body of the patient aa strong
UM possible to counteract the effect of
the polaons created by the grip bacil
lus. An expectorant tonlo with some
laxative qualities Is the safest rem
edy. Such la Peruna. Beware es
pecially of coal tar powders or tablets)
because they lessen the vitality of the
patient
There Is no speclflo for the grip.
Peruna has been used with good
success In former grip epidemics. In
dications point to the return ot grlpi.
this winter.
Do not fall to read the experience)
of former grip patients with Peruna.
Mrs. Gentry Gates, 121 First Ave,
East Lake, Ala., writes: "I had a
bad case of grip. I tried Peruna and
It cured me. I can safely say It Is a
line medicine.'
Mrs. Charles B. Wells, Br, il
Couth fit., Delaware, Ohio, writes!
"After a severe attack of la anppe I
took Peruna and found It a good
tonio.
IAiJr Your DruggM tor Fre Peru OA
Luckjf Almwao tor 191 i.