Newspaper Page Text
FOR THE GRIP.
One on the Judges.
A newly qualified Judgo la ono of
tho small towns of Tennessee wns
trying ono of his first criminal cases.
Tho nccuscd was an old darky who
was accused of robbing n hen-coop.
Ho had been In court before on a sim
ilar charge and was then acquitted.
"Well, Tom," began tho judgo, "I
seo you're In troublo again."
"Yes, sah," replied tho darky; "the
last time, Jedge, you wns ma lawyer."
"Whoro, Is your lawyer this time?"
asked tho Judgo.
"I ain't got no lawyer this time,"
answered Tom. "I'm going to tell the
Children Who Are Sickly.
Mothers Hlioulil never be without n lox of
Mother Urny'a Sweet Towilera for Children.
They break up colds In SI lioiirn,curercvorlnli
ncss, Constipation, Headache, Teething Din
orders nnd htoinncb Troubles. Over 10,(00
testimonial). At nil DrugirlMR. lie. Auk to
day. Sample mailed FltUK. Address,
Allen S. OluiBtcil, Lo Itoy, N. Y.
"Work Is tho grand euro for all the
maladies and miseries that over beset
mankind honest work, which you In
tend getting done. Thomas Carlyle.
Somo cemetery Janitors, unless
closely watched, raise vegetables In
tho rich graveyard mold.
IMI.r.H CTJIIKD IX O TO 1 1 DATS. .
PAZO qiNTMKNTIaininrnntPi-il to cure nny rate
t Itching, llllnd. lllt-erilnir or rrotrudlng-l'llei In
ttoUdar.oriuuncr rufuuded. Wo.
To net with common sense, accord
ing to tho moment U the best wisdom
I kpow. Horace Walpole.
WTIY Buffer with eve troubles, quick re
lief by using PKTTrfS EYE SALVE. 25c.
All druggistsor How ard Dros., Buffalo, N. Y.
To learn to work and, work cheer
fully Is tho central lesson Of life.
when yon feel a cold coming on by Lining a few dova
of I'trrv lxirlt' J'ulnM'cr. It IslH'tlrr tlmngulnlno
and safer. 'I ho largo Mia botllosuro tho cheapost.
The world Is all catcs, all oportuni
tics, strings of tension waiting to be
TJi&t Is L4XATIVH IIUOMO I
NINK. Uk.1i for
Used tho World
UJU BiK'"llll" w. r. if invw. j
over to Curo a Cold In Ono Day.
too elKnnttirn ol K, . tiiiuvK.
He loves his country best who
strives to mako It best. Ingersoll.
Clear white clothes rtrc a blgn that the
housekeeper uses Red Cross Ball Blue.
Largo 2 oz. package, 5 cents.
Tlmo cannot remove ldndly nctf
from a grateful heart. Royston.
Mrs. Wlnslow'B Boothlntr Syrup.
Tor children teething, often tho Rum, reduces Id
aammatlon, all.y. putn, curt, wind collu 23c a bottle.
It might Improvo tho pound rako to
hit It with an ax.
Do it Now
Tomorrow A. M. too late. Take
a CASCARET at bed time? get
up in the morning feeling fine and
dandy. No need for sickness
from over-eating and drink
ing. They surely work while you
sleep and help nature help you.
Millions take them and keep well.
CASCARRTS ice a box for a week's
treatment, rtl druggist!. Illggctt teller
In the world. Uiilioa boxes a mouth.
Would you Ilka to JIto there? Th
Stan 111 ('no Union will Imcrett you.
Benltfnio Mri-ekly,7:c; buudayMl.
Children's Coughs c".1
Omi Much Unocuarr Soffcrlag
Tt ItSt aUVU1al n u.s&s
Cjt batant reU-wodxa and baala th Ettla
triroaD and ptrrenti ntoct (aim Socm. ChSdrea
lilohtoo uiJcuaatlo uk and doM not ut
All OraacUta, 25 cant.
r .tea Mj
FT :i wt if
J Wilbur D Nesbit. .
c k.W AD
TIs but an Idle fancy
Such ns will sometimes gleam
Above the necromnncy
That bids one Bit und dream.
( count lio years ns roses
That bud and bloom nnd fade,
And ns each onu uncloses
Another year la made.
They Krow In ono Krcnt garden
All patiently ami slow
And Time, tho fultliful warden.
Attends them ns they grow.
I count the years as roses
A petnl for each day
To kIow as It uncloses
And then bo blown nway.
Tho petnls fnlnt and wither.
The winds of winter run
To toss them there nnd hither,
And so tlic year Is done.
And some nro years to treasure,
And somo to lose wo'ro fain.
For somo nro sweet with plensu
And some aro thorned with pain.
Dut In tho endless irnrdcn
Tho roses bud nnd blow
While Time, tho fnlthfut warden.
Attends them, ull nrow.
So may this New Year nenr you
AVIthout n. shade of Kloom
A,pd comfort you end choer you
As docs n rose In bloom.
The Early Conundrum.
Tho man with tho Ingrowing faco
:ame to tho fence nnd looked over at
:he man with tho dissatisfied cars.
"Did you over hear that conundrum
hout tho lawn mower?" ho asked.
"What's that? Who horrowed It
"No, no. Tho ono ahout what Is tAe
difference hetween a little hoy away
off hy himself yelling for his ma and
a latn mower?"
"Why should ho yell for his ma and
a lawn mower?"
"He didn't. Ho yelled for his ma,
nnd tho conundrum Is: What is tho
difference hetween him nnd a lawn
"That's tho conundrum, Is It?"
"Yes. Did you over hear it?"
"No. I never heard it. What if I
"Oh, nothing. I thought maybe it
might Interest you."
"And eo you told mo about It."
"Yes. Had you ever heard it?"
"I tnjd you I hadn't."
"It's pretty good, isn't It? What is
tho differenco Uetween a little loy
away off by himself yelling for his ma
and a lawn mower?"
"You just said ho wasn't yelling for
hlB ma and a lawn mower."
"Ho wasn't. Ho was yelling for his
ma, and bo what is tho difference "
"I suppose it makes no differenco
to anyone except him and his ma."
"You don't qulto catch it. Ho waa
away off nil by himself yelling for his
ma and a lawn mower, and "
"Did he want her to bring it?"
"The lawn mower."
"Ho didn't want any lawn mow r.
Ho wanted his ma."
"Well, did sho como?"
"That hasn't got anything to do
with tho conundrum. It is "
"What did you put it in for?"
"I mean it doeBn't mako any differ
ence whether his ma comes or not
Tho question is: What is tho differ
ence between a little boy away ofl
alone by himself yelling for his ma
and a lawn "
"Why, confound it! You keep any
ing he didn't yell for tho lawn
"He didn't. Ho yelled for his ma,
"Oh, Ufo'a too short I can't undur
And the man with tho ingrowing
face hung over tho fence and grew
purple with wrath and Anally shotted
across the yard:
"One 1b a lawn mower and the other
is a iono ma-cr, but I hopo you nevei
guess it, for of all tho confounded
lunkheads I ever saw you get tho blue
Dut the man with tho dissatisfied
cars simply smiled grimly and went
Into the house.
' -r: r tw -
,?: ' hisMsSz:.- .
FEARFUL SUFFERING CAUSED BY
EGGS OF PARASITE WHICH IT
MAY CONTAIN STATE
MENT BY A PRIEST.
. Omaha, Neb., Feb. 2. Probably tho
most unusual feattiro of the excite
ment that has been crcntcd by L. T.
Cooper's visit to this city is tho re
moval of parasites or tapo worms by
During tho early part of Cooper's
stay in Omaha individuals who wcro
taking "Now Discovery," as it 1b called,
brought either to himself or to physl-
slans throughout tho city immenso
parasites that had left tho system
after using tho mcdlcino.
Many of theso peoplo wero fright
ened, and cases of this sort became so
numorous thnt Cooper finally mado
tho following statement for publica
tion: Ho said: "In every city I visit
theso things nro brought to mo within
a few days after my mcdlcino is sold
in the city. They nro what la known
as tho tape-worm, nnd grow to an
"Few, indeed, reallzo how prevalent
theso creatures are. I think I hnvo
been tho first to deraonstrnto what a
largo factor they aro In tho poor health
of this generation. I bcllcvo that
fully one-half of tho chronic stomach
trouble now so universal is caused by
"Individuals may havo them for
years and not be aware of tho reason
for their continued Ill-health, but at
tribute It to many different diseases,
when in reality ono of theao creatures
is robbing them of their vitality.
"Theso parasites aro taken Into tho
system in uncooked food or rnwmcat,
in tho form of an egg, which hatches
almost immediately. Peoplo suffering
from them experience a feeling of
inssltudo and aro extremely nervous.
Tho action of Cooper's 'New Discov
ery' seems to bo fatal to theso great
worms, and in most cases a fow doses
of tho mcdlcino drives tho creatures
from the system. I will havo hundreds
of them brought to mo beforo I leave
This growsomo prophecy has been
amply verified, for not only hundreds
but thousands of Omnha peoplo havo
been relieved of somo of theso fearful
parasites slnco taking Cooper's prep
aration, nnd tho cntlro city has been
aroused by tho fact
Somo of theso parasites aro of such
enormous size us to stnrtlo tho Im
agination. Tho statement of Father
John Baptist Arnolis, ono of tho best
known and best beloved priests in
this section of tho country verifies
this. His statement, among others
Klven to a reporter, was as follows:
"For years I suffered from Svhat I
thought was n general run-down con
d!tL?n of tho system caused by atom
achrtroublo. I felt extremely tired all
tho time, and it was a great effort to
attend to my duties. I would wako
up In tho morning feeling ns worn out
is when I went to bed. If I stood for
any length of tlmo I would havo pain
In tho lower part of my back, and
would havo to sit down.
"I was very nervous aud depressed
In spirits, and was troubled with dizzy
ipolls. I would bco spots beforo my
eyes when I stooped over and raised
up quickly. I had a vory irregular ap
petite, and would have palpitation of
the heart after ascending tho stnirb.
"Tho talk about Cooper's prepara
tions was so universal that I decided
to try somo. although I do not tako
patent medicTncs ns a rule. I took
tour doses of tho 'Now Discovery' as
It Is called, and a tape-worm about
sixty feot In length left my system.
"I am very thankful for this great
relief, and now I know what has been
tho causo of all my suffering."
Tho story of Father Arnolis is a
fair samplo of tho experience of an
f astonishing number of Omaha people,
and Cooper's preparations nro selling
hero in Immenso quantities. It Is now
estimated that ho has sold ono hun
dred thousand bottles to date In this
city nlono, nnd tho salo is still in
creasing. Nil Desperandum.
Percy Parklngton rose and brushed
tho dust from hla knees. Then, draw
ing himself up to his full height, ho
gazed resentfully upon tho form of
Miss Muriel Muggins, who nonchalant
ly fanned herself tho while.
"Very well, Miss Muggins," came In
bitter tones from Percy. "Oh, very
well! You havo spurned me, It Is
true! Indeed, you havo spurned mo
twice! But, though despair eats my
heart, I shall not die! I mean to go
into tho busy world. I will light! I
will win! My name shall becomo
known, and my riches shpll becomo
"Pardon mo for interrupting you,
Mr. Parklngton," interjected Miss
Muggins, "but when you shall havo
accomplished all that, you may try me
Associate with men of good Judg
ment, for Judgment is found in con
versation. And wo mako another
man's Judgment ours by frequenthig
hla company. Fuller.
Many who used to smoke 10c cigars are now
smoking Lewis' Singlo Binder straight 5c.
Before sho la married to a man a
woman always wants to think of him;
afterward sho wants to think for him.
AGO HE HAD LESS
THAN 3 DOLLARS
HE IS NOW ONE OF THE RICHEST
FARMERS IN SASKATCHEWAN,
Arriving in Canada In 1S91, Just
eighteen years ago, E. A. Qulllomln
could speak but his uatlvo language.
Ho Is a Frenchman. Ho had but
a llttlo over two dollars in his pocket,
thus being short over soven dollars of
tho ten dollars required to sccuro en
try for a homestead of ono hundred
nnd sixty acres. He eventually bor
rowed tho money nnd near Forget,
Saskatchewan, ho started llfo in Can
ada on tho homestead in which to-day
ho is tho fortunnto possessor of fifty
quarter soctlons of land, or 8,000 acres.
Now Mr. Qulllomln did not acqulro
all theso acres nsn result altogothorof
his farming operations, which wero
extensive. Ho looked with satisfac
tion upon what ho waa doing on hla
limited area, ho was saving, careful,
and had foresight. Surrounding lnnd
could bo had for about $3.00 per aero,
nnd ho continued buying n8 his sav
ings would permit, until now ho has
fifty quarter sections, Bomo of which
ho can sell at $25.00 per acre.
Threshed Fifty Thousand Bushels.
This year ho waa engaged in thresh
ing on hla plnco for G1V6 days. Ho
threshed out C0.000 bushels of wheat,
of which ho sold 31,000 bushels, ono
train load, at a prlco vnrylng from 84
to 87 cents per bushel. Ho has on
hand still 16,000 bushels. In addition
to whent ho raised 30,000 bushels of
oats, 7,000 bushels of barley and C00
bushels pt flax. Ho owns 104 horses
and n number of cattle, but slnco tho
construction of tho railway ho has
been engaged chiefly in raising wheat
This year ho bought hja first thresh
ing machino, paying for it tho sum
of $2,100. Ho estimates that tho ma
chino earned for him this fnll $3,000,
thus paying for itself in ono season
and leaving $900 to tho good. Tho
weather was vory propitious for farm
threshing, not a single day being lost
in tho two months which wcro spent
In this work. Tho wheat averaged 23
bushels to tho aero and graded No. 1
nnd No. 2 Northorn. In tho past nlno
years seven good crops havo boon har
vested on this farm. For six succes
sive years the returns wero excellent,
thnt is in tho years 1901, 1902, 1S03,
1901, 1905 and 1906. In tho two fol
lowing years thero was a partial fail
ure. As tho years have passed tho
quality of tho buildings on tho farm
havo jeou steadily improved, and aro
now as good as can bo found in tho
district. About $10,000 has been in
vested in this way by Mr. Guillomln.
Tho farm consists of 6,880 acres, of
which about C.000 acres wero under
crop this season.
"Does you bellovo It's lucky to seo
de now moon over you right shoul
der?" "Sho I does," replied Mr. Erastus
PInkney. "Deso hero stormy dnya
you'B lucky to seo any kind of a moon
anyway." Washington Stnr.
"Mamma, what makes papa mako
that funny nolso?"
"He's snoring, dear."
"But you always tell mo It ain't po
Hto to blow my nolso out loud."
he Blood is The Life
Science has never gone beyond the above simple
statement of scripture. But it has illuminated that
statement and given it a meaning ever broadening
with the increasing breadth of knowledge. When
the blood is " bad " or impure it is not alone the
body which suffers through disease. The brain is
also clouded, the mind and judgement are effected.
and many an evil deed or impure
directly traced to the impurity of the blood.
Foul, Impure blood can be made pure by the
vsc of Dr. PJerco's Qotdcn Medical Discovery,
It enriches nnd purifies tho blood thereby
curing pimples, blotches, eruptions and other cutaneous affec
tions, as eczema, tetter, or salt-rhcum, hives and other manifes
tations of Impure blood. '
In the cure of, scrofulous swellings, enlarged glands, open eating"
ulcers, or old sores, the " Golden Medical Discovery" lias per
formed the most marvelous cures. In cases of old sores, or open
eating ulcers, it is well to apply to the open sores Dr. Pierce's All
Healing Salve, which possesses wonderful healing potency when
used as an application to the sores in conjunction with the use of
"Golden Medical Discovery" as a blood cleansing constitutional
treatment. If your druggist don't happen to have the "All-Healing
Salve " in stock, you can easily procure it by inclosing fifty
cents in postage stamps to Dr. R.V. Pierce, CG3 Main St., Buffalo,
N. Y., and it will come to you by return post. Most druggists
keep it as well as the " Golden Medical Discovery."
You can't afford to accept any medicine of unlnoivn composition as a sub
stitute for "Golden Medical Discovery," which is a medicine OF known com
rosiTioN, having a complete list of ingredients in plain English on its bottle
wrapper, the same being attested as correct under oath.
Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets regulate and iavigorate stomach, liver and bowels.
poods brlahUr and fatter colors thsn sn
aoj garment without ripping apart.
it Wltnoui ripoina span, unit tor ires
Write tor tree
Tho fellow who says ho could novor
lovo n woman with money may dis
cover that ho can't successfully lovo
a woman If ho hasn't any.
ItMUH of thooo ugly, grizzly, gray hair. Uo "LA
Pleasant, i(ere$hjg, toejicial,1
Syrup of Figs and Elixir of
Senna appeals to the cultured
and the well-informed and the
healthy because its component
parts arc simple and whole
some and because it acts with
out disturbing the natural func
tions, as it is wholly free from
every objectionable) quality or
substance. In its production a
pleasant and refreshing syrup,
of the figs of California is unit
ed with the laxative and car
minative properties of certain
plants known to act most bene
ficially, on the human system,
when its gentle cleansing is de
sired, io get its beneficial ef
fects, always buy the genuine,
for sale by all reputable drug
gists; one size only, price
fifty cents a bottle. The name
of the company California
Fig Syrup Co. is always plain
ly printed upon the front of ev
ery package of the genuine.
iorriaj$ Syrup .
LOUISVILLE, KY. SAN FRANCISCO, CAL. NEW YORK, N. T.
RALLIED TO THE DEFENSE
Parlor Maid Was Loyal, But It Is
Doubtful If Explanation Helped
Matters Very Much.
Walter Lonsdalo, Dr. Cook's Bocro
tary, waa adducing facts In pralso of
"And theso fncts," ho concluded,
"provo my chlof's honor-; and tho oth
er side's dofonBo is as weak as tho
well-known dofcuso of tho parlor
Mr. Lonsdalo glanced nt his lug
gage packed for Copenhagen. Then ho
laughed and resumed:
" 'Mary,' said a mistress to hor par
lor maid, 'what tlmo did my husband
got homo last night?'
" 'Not till four, mum, tho maid an
swered. "'I thought bo,' said tho mistress.
'Hero it's evening, and tho brute not
"Tho maid bridled dcfonslvely.
"'Oh, but, mum,' sho Bald, 'ho haB
been up once, mum; but ho Just drank
his bath and went back to bed again.' "
His Faco Was Turning Yellow
Boincono told him that snllowncss was
tnuscd by nn Inactlvo liver, llu began
taklnir NATUIIC'H HBMCD1", his natural
color returned, hla bruin cleared. Ilia liver
waa acuta active. Nit tablets never fall
to correct tho liver, they rcmovo tho bllo,
aid dlKcatlon and tono
tlinn 1'llln for IJucr 1114. Tnlto ono tonluht
nnd you'll feel better In the inornlutr. Got
n 23o Uox. All DrURBlsta. Tho A. H. Lewis
Mcillclno Co., St. Loula, Mo.
At nny rato tho prodigal son ac
quired moro fnmo than tho virtuous
brothor who stayed homo and was de
cent. LcwIh' Singlo Binder, the famous
straight 6c cigar annual salo 0,000,000,
A friend lamorcly a person wo can
tell our troubles to. '
thought may be ;
other die. One tOe packsoe colors ill Hbers. Thei die
Booklet - Mow to Die. Bleach and Mix Colors. MONROE DRUB CO.. Oulnoy, Illinois.
yUfjJJJJPPaflapafafTHST Pit that CNCTHATCaTiaaaaaaUaaCaaJamJaM
ORIOLE" HAIR RMTORKR. PRICK, SI.OO, rotaM.
aataaft J ' v .bbbbbbbbk 1
Can quickly be overcome by
act surely and
eently on the
Beu, and Indigetuos. They do then duty.
Small Ml, Small Do... Small Flic.
GENUINE rnurt bear tignaluret (
What J.I. Hill, tha Qraat RaHraad Macnata,
Says About Ita Whaat-PreducbiK Powari
Too RTcatMt iwM' of thta country
I united BUtMl in annmrr u.nara-
tlonor two will be tea pro-
wlfllna nt i.nmM fnv
loopla and crodueljis
aufllclnnt ( or them, 'ilia
dnjra of our promtnnca
a a nhoat unities
mnnlTV .rn mnn. Oin
aitit i. to bo.tjie great
Th 1 ii crent m H road maa
Bate U Inking adrantaaa
of tho Itnatlna hr x
tcn.lTO rullwlir IiiiIM-111-
to tlio wlirnt field.
oi wutcrn uuuuu.
Upwards off 12S Million
Huanois oi wni
wcrohnrrpntitlln 1000. Arenas
ot tho throo rotlnm of AIlxrta,
Btulcatchownn anil Monltola Kill be
upward or J UUMK.-I per wre.
I rou linmmtouue of 100 arrva,
nnil tuljiilnliitf iiro-ciiipltone
1 UO lirro. In t .1 Ie licri'l. ur to
bo liml lu tho cliolcvat dl.u-lota.
Rclinol. cnnTciilent. rllmata
excellent, eoll lu
f. VTV IkWAt.
Inr iiiuifx-r lirap. furj eoar to
cot mill xiMiaoiinblo TO price,
water ciullr prucumll lulled
farming n euccrM. Writn a. to
lHt placo for nvltloment. Mttlerr
low rnllwar rati. ilMorlptlre llloa
rnllwHY. 1.am ft, hmiil. t.iill.1.
on application. anaotner,iDiorma.
tlon, to Hup't rf ImmlKratlna.
(Htana. Can., or to too' Canadian
J. 5. CRAWFORD
la. 12S W. Usls SliMt, laattt-Ki
(Cm addroia rumrmt joa).
A Lifetime of Good Service '
NO STROPPING NO HONING
nicuiK. and twtutUlu th. htlt,
I'rotncMf a luiurUnl growth.
Merer Valla to JIMtore any
jlatr to it. Youthful Color.
Cuim m)p diwiMt a htlr laUlsai
LIVE STOCK AND
In grmit rarlctr for tale at the lowott price, bf
nssisus nf-ii-li uuul, luui Clij, iimiiiI
D1TCUT VOniCIDKAS. They may bring to
TA I CH I wraith. W-it;. Honk Kreo. KM. IaU.
ITlUitcrald & tii- 1'at.Altrt ,Uox K. Vfa.hlnjrton.ua
nmillPC 4TARP11 etet to work with o4
UurlArlUL alfMlbn iMrcntt'cluUtM nice..
W. N. U. WICHITA7 NO. 6-1910.
In eold water better than snj ether dr. You can dsa
ATaTaaW IV KK
Di t ' . ' i awn
T im && J
II T) 1 of di'tt paper de- W't'tT'lB
II ""''' - anvtknadver- I & i II
II tued in its columns should iuiA upon II jj ; ( ,M
II having what theyatk lor, refining all I "(l ' ij
II subditutes or imitations. fll'i.'lt
wL Jm '