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'"ITONO WI NSBOR.O S.C-9 EPT MBE
There ea= a whisper throngh the wind-biowi
That stirred in music underneath the eaves.
And fluttering breeze and flu toring foliag(
To waft my thoughts to dreamland as
There came a flood of light, a flush of bloom,
And roses scattered petals of p ,rfume ;
And wings of birds and ecthos of thoir song
Bore every thought in oadenoeswoet along
There flamed in splendor fierce a fervent sun,
And sweet May paled, and sighed - " My lIf<
is done ;
To you, 0, Sister June, be all I lose
And all I fain would gain, if I might choose
For Summer I"
There stood in meadow-grasses akle-leep,
ne who awakened from her maiden sleep,
And waking, turnel to me with smile divine,
And blushing, let her hand olasp close to mini
And all the golden sunlight rained its gold
Ou tresses bright as any ray they hold,
And all the fervent splenaor of the day
Wore fairer splendor than In sky and ray
For what is earth if love be not our day ?
And what is love if love care not to stay.
An I, staying, seal our herts in dreamle is rest
Aitd resting thus who dream i aid is not blos
In summer ?
HE CHANCED HIS MIND,
"I am a miserable man," said Cyru
Maddox, gloomily, "and it Is best that tht
Vorld should be rid of my presence. N
( Abe cares for me."
"Oh, don't say that, uncle," said Lizzlo
Silver, beseechingly. "You know I lov(
you. You are the only friend I have ii
the world, and If you were to die, whai
would become of me!"
"I suppose young Guy Cheevers wouk
console you for my loss," saId Mr. Maddoi
"At any rate, I don't care. I will em
my troubles and sorrows to-morrow at 12
And with those fearful words, he strod(
out of the room, leaving Lizzie sobbing,
with her curly black head resting on a din,
"What's the matter now, Bess? Has th(
milliner disappointed you in the love o:
a bonnet?" asked a warm, hearty voice
which was the property of "young Gu
Chcevers," as Mr. Maddox called him-a
that gentleman strode into the room.
"Oh, Guyl" sobbed Lizzle, Uncle Cyrui
is going to die to-morrow at 12 o'clock."
"How do you know?" asked Guy.
"le said so."
"But how does he know?"
"le's going to kill himself."
"So as to make himself a true prophet
oh?" asked Guy laughing.
"Oh, Guy, don't jokel" cried Lizzle
tearfully. "le will-I know lie will!"
"I doubt itI" said Guy skeptically.
"But he tried to commit suicide severa
tImes," persisted Lizzle, tearfully. "Onci
ho tried to smother himself with burninj
charcoal; but he forgot to stop up I he key
hole, and I smelt the smoke and got som
neighbors to break open the door, and savi
him. Then he tried to hang himself, bu
the cord broke, and he fired a p)istol a
himself, but be forgot to put any b)all in it
so that failed, and then-"
"Graciousl" crIed Guy, as Lizzie stoppet
for want of breath; "what a detorminet
man he must be! Such perseverance do.
serves to be rewarded. Have you any idei
what plan lie will try next?"
"I'm sure 1 ulen't know," said Lizzie
mournfully. " 6methuing dreadful, I sup~
"But ,at does lie want to make awa:
with ilj self for?" asked Guy wondering
' y he says he is a miserable mxan,
bkI en to every one, and that life has ni
L. - ,~.4ys for him, andl that lhe Is weary of thi
"And so would like to try the next?'
said Guy. "Perhaps he won't find it a
pleasant as the one lie Is quitting. Wha
an unreasonable man lhe must be! lie I
rich, talented, healthy, snd has a ver:
* lpretty neice"-here, in a moment of abi
straction, he allowed his arm to wande
around Miss Silver's waist-"and wha
more can he want? Butt some pOOP!<
never are satisfied. It seems ho is detIer
mined to pry into futurity, and it seems
pity to disappoint so laudable an ambition
but duty-duty to myself compels me to in
terfere. I dislike scandal or excitement. 2d
coroner's jury would cause both, therefor
we must balk his little game."
"But how will you do it?" asked Lizzi
"A prudent General," said Guy, haughi
tily, "never confides his plans to his army
particularly when that army is of the feml
nine gender-so excuse me; mum's th
word; but rest as.sured, my dear Elizabetti
that unless your worthy unole shufiles oi
this mortal coil in a surreptitious manne
before 12 o'clock tc-morrow, ho will nc
do it afterward-of course I mean lllegally
Farewell, till to-morrow."
Having concluded( this adldress, Gu;
strode off in a tragic manner, leaving ii
zie greatly surprised, but still quito reau
sured, for In her opinion what Guy coul,
not do, was not worth doing.
'The noe' norning Mr. Maddox made hI
appoarance very saturnius and gloomy; an
ato his breakfast with a mournful air tha
was terribly impressive. Having finishe
eating, he thenm took leave of his niece In
I1 at- about to heave you," he said
nourn gly. "I am about to put an end t
this miserable life. I hope that you may
ever be happy."
"Oh, don't go." said Lizzie tearfully,
olinging to him and looking up into his
"It's useless," said Mr. Maddox, firmly.
"My mind is fixed, and nothing you may
say can persuade me to relinquishi my pur
pose. But you, my clear child. shall not
be unprovided for. I Intend to make my
will, In the few hours that are left me,
and you will not. be forgotten. Good-by,
my dear child-farewoll "-and t lien, after
embracing his niece fervently, Mr. Maddox
rushed from the room frantically and se
curely locked hinself in his own room,
and began to prepare himself for his last
"Nine o'clock!" he said to himself. look
ing at lile watch. Three hours yet.
Enough to do all I have to do. First, to
make my will."
The last will and testaient of Mr. Cyrus
Maddox was evidently not a long one, as
it was finished im ani hour.
"Eleven o'clcklt" said Mr. Maddox,
"and I have finished. How slow the time
puses, to be sure Now, what, shall I do
until 12 o'clock, for I am deternilned not to
die until noon-"
A knock at the door.
"Go awayl" cried Mr. Maddox, angrily.
"You can't come in!"
"I am very sorry to disagree with you,"
said a voice outside the door, "but I can
come li. I have a duplicate key here, and
if you don't open the door, I will.
Mr. Maddox rose and unlocked the door
savagely, and Mr, Guy Cheevers walked
into the room, carrying an oblong box un
der his arm.
He placed the box on the table and then
took a seat opposite Mr. Maddox and
stared blandly at him.
"What do you wan't?" asked Mr. Mad
dox, fiercely, Don't you see I am on
"Oh, I know," said Guy, "wiat you are
about to (o. Don't think that I'm going
to Interfere; not at all. But before you
uake your quietus, I wish to ask you a
few questionp. Have you provided for
your niece's future welfare?"
"What's that, to you?"
"Considerable. I am about to marry
Miss Silver, so her interests are naturally
mine." h spoie
"Then she Is provided for, amply."
"Thank you for your information. Very
glad to hear it. And now, excuse the ap.
parent impertinence of the question, but
where Is your will?"
"Hcre," sald Mr. Maddox, laying his
hand on it.
"Suppose you give It to me to take care
"Give it to you! Why pray?"
"It might become misplaced,"explained
"I'll keep it myself," said Mr. Maddox,
"Then just leave a memorandum oi the
table," said Guy, earnestly, "to tell where
it Is. It will save trouble, perhaps.
"Get out!" cried Mr. Maddox, angrily.
"Ah, I see!" said Mr. Cheeveis, coolly;
"in a hurry to begin. "Well, I won't de
tain you; but I have' a little suggestion to
foTs this," said Guy. "Miss --1ver in
frsm,that you have made several pre
vious efforts to cut short your troubles andi
your breath, and always unsuccessfully.
Now It seems to me, you don't go the right
way about It. "This box" and here lie
opened the box before alludecd to-.-'"con
tains several I ttle plans t.hat I think might
please you. fere's one"-and he showed
a little steel instrument.
"What's that?"' asked Mr. Maddox, curi
''This," said Guy, "'Is an article that
you can p)lace around your neck like a col
lar, then, by striking your hand on the lcft
side of your neck, a sharp spike Is driven
right into your jugular vein-"
''But, that would kill me!"' said Mr.
'Well, ain't that what you want?" do
nmanded Guy, sternly. "'Now, here's an
other," he went on. "Here's a wheel, you
observe. You piece this band around your
neck, pass It around the wheel, and give it
two or three turns; then let go. The re
coil will twist your head almost off your
shoulder-kill you to a certainty.
Mr. Maddox stared at him with unfeign
"Then," went on Guy, coolly, "here's a
lIttle package-a torpedo. It contains
- nitro-glycerine. You place it In your
mouth, snap your teeth oni it, andl off goes
your head, smashlid inito millhons of
"Good heavens!" exclaimed Mr. Mad
dox, fearfully. "What a terrible idea!"
' "Not at all, said Mr. Guy, soothinagly,
'"Bcauitiful Invention-I quite pride my
' self on it-sientific suicide, you see!"
3 Anybody can take poison, or blow their
'brains out; but do It scientifically requires
real talent. You have it, and 1 am confi
r dent you will reflect credit oni my inventive
Sskill. ''Now,"hle contined, confidentially,
-"If you could use all three of these nmven
tions at once-cut your jugular, garrote
i' yourself and blow your hlad off, all at
once-why, I'd thank you."
"What!" cried Mr. Mladdlox, fiercely,
"(do you thik I'm going to use any of your
infrnmal inventions? Get out of this room,
I you~ cold-bh>oded villain, before I throw
you out of the windowi"'
t ' But I haves a great many more to show
I you," deamonstrated Guy; "and you see I
Ii want you to try as amany as possible. Well,
well!" ho added, as Mr. Maddox grasped
the poker threateningly, "I'm going. But
0 I'll leave this box here. and before you get
rid of yourself, just nake a ~,rand
of what you will use, and lea 'n
table, because, you know, ther will pro
bly be nothing left of you to draw con<
slons froin, and so-"
Here, any further speech was cut sl
by Mr. Maddox seizing his visitor, i
hustling him out in the passage.
"Well," saId Lizzle anxiously to uy
"1 think it's all right," said Guy, gi
ning. "Get the lunch ready. Yoi r it:
is all right. He'll be down."
And sure enough, so lie was; and Choi
lie spoke not, lie eat most voracious3
"Lizzie," said lie suddenly, after
hour's pause, "did you ever see an infei
old fool and an idiot?"
"Never, that I know of," said Liz:
"Because, Just look at ic, and you'll
ono," said Mr. Maddox, grimly, and
Up to the present tinie of writing, j
Cyrus Maddox is still alive, enjoying gi
health; and hv. seens to be on frien
terms with Mr. Chevers and his v
Lizzie. He probably forgave that gen
man on accoutit of a discovery that
made that the nitro-glycerine torpedo c
talined nothing more dangereus than si
and the other "infernal inventions" m
haifernal In about the same ratio; but (
still maintains that when a person is we
of life they should cease their troubles
i1s VIoney'S WOrth.
A stranger with an aggressive hat an,
genial flavor of hayseed drew up bel
Officer Dean on Broadway, New York a
put his arms around akimbo.
"Be you one o' ther perlice ?" he
"I be," answered the blue coat sent
"You're pooty well posted 'bout thi
in general, I 'spect.''
The officer admitted he did know a th
or two. The stranger looked all the in
"I've kem deown t' York," said lie,
hiev an all-fired, bustin' time. Wot I wo:
a little recreashun, see I I don't car' '1
stumblin' 'gin a perfeshunal flatist, but
jest, like t' buy a slice of a neat little r<
whar' a feller kin gouge and bite some i
ain't tied down by enny cussed ru!
Thar' ain't no ratpits, nor dog-fightin' pla
'bout yer,' Is thar', whar' a little diffiki
could be riz ?"
The oflicer told him that lie had bel
get an almanac or indicator, but said tI
he thought that with tour fingers more
the last whisky lie had been drinking
might be easily accommodated. 'I
stranger thanked him heartily and wj
About four o'clock the following mc
ing the same officei found a man tied
in a knot on the corner of Waverly phi
He tried to undo him, and when he I
pried the hat back from his nose the str
ger of the previous night emerged.
was quite drunk, there were bumps all o
his head, and lie looked as if he had b
shaved with a buzz.saw.
"Thankee, ole fcll'r" lie said grateful
"Thankee. Hed a bustin' time. Kee
over a barten'r and got chucked out
four on 'em. Yes, sir, fit four times ov
an' Seth Hines kin go hum t' Steulei
feelin' good neow.
He went to the Jefferson Market Pol
Court first, though.
"Ten dollars," his Hono'r said, when
heard the story.
"Ten dollars. That's yer figger,
Mquiar, I'm a-gittin' inter you, I 'sp<
Wily, I've had a free fito four times hi
runnin', and got licked every shot. Recl
you didn't know that, ehi? Squar,
rumpus is cheap at double the money," a
ho pa.dl his fine wIth a chuckle of inte
A Luokiess Tram..
Some time ago a tramp got into the fl
box of a station)ary engine that was be
shipped on a fiat ear to the Pacific ce
from Denver. BAy somne freak of mnisforta
to him a careful brakeman closed the f
naco door on hIm, and the solitary picnit
or was alone with lis conscience and a f
friends that had come along to repres
the National Bug Bureau.
At first he thought It was a joke, and
laughed a smothered hysterIcal laugh,I
as the hours dIragged on andl he didn't kn
whether it was dlay or night or whiethecr
was the Fourth of July or eternity, lie o
eluded to attract the attention of the c
side0 world, so lie p)oundcd on the inside
his cage till his arms ached. Ho might
well have tried to get out of a fir'e
burglar proof safe with a corkscrew.
One day, through curiosity, a rallr<
boy opened the door of the engine furn
and looked.in. The broad sole of an
boot was turned up at tha door, amnd
brakeman took hold of it and snatched
out. It was followed by an attenua
piece of hiumamity, that rattledl around
the car like an old1 umbrella.
The bystanders reviewed him and asi
him if he didn't feel hungry. He said
did feel a kmd of goneness In the gasi
An old man, who was then acttng tre
urcr of time Irish Relief fund, took the
of filling him up. That is the reason i
ireland missed time beneficial effects of
relief fund for several months, at a ti
when she needed it worst.
Do (lows Drink Lager?
The pleasure of a party of genlen
who w'ent on a picnic excursion a few d
augo, was seriously marred by thme ref
hiensible conduct of a cow, which camne
behind the tont while most of the pa
were off in a boat to catch fish for ci
der, and the rest, were asleep, and not o
ate up a hialf-l'ushel of potatoes that I
been peeled and sliced im readiness for
pana, but opened a box and drank se
bottlee of lager-all that remained of
case. At least thut was the story loid
fishoran when they returued, by the a
at home porbon of the party. Thelire
quite an animiatedi discussion as to whet
or not a cow would be likely to stop
lager beer bottles up and return them
the case after emptying thoem, and it1
finally decided that a cow which we
take bottles out of a case and open thm
would not be very likely to cork up amnd
place themn when through.
cousin's future wife.
There she lived for several years. Mean.
while Peter, who had after all been saved
from the wreck of The Jane, returned
He went straight to his mother's cottage.
The poor woman had lived a solitary life.
When she left her home she had told no
one why she went. The old furniture she
had sold to te junk man, and had taken
noting but her parrot with her, Poor Polly,
who had brought tears to her eyes since
her boy's departure br screaming out:
"You, Peter, stop that I"
The neighbors who had lived near the
cottage when Peter went to sea wec ezone.
Bo Peter heard from a stranger that "that
the lady that lived in the third house died
last winter," and went sadly away. Mother
and son mourned each.other as dead, when
only a few iiles-and hour's journey by
rail-lay between them.
Peter had come home intending to re
turn to the carpenter, and be a good son
and a worthy citizen; but his mother's sup
posed deati upset him. lie fell into dis
sipated ways; made the acquaintance of a
main of doubtful character, who was called
Red Jack, and one day found h mself deep
er in the mire of dishonesty than he ad
ever intenued to go.
Red Jack intended to rob a house, and
confided his plans to Peter.
"It's a old woman that lives all alone,"
said Jack; "her servants are quite in
another building. We can get in by a win
dow I know of, and get all there in to carry
off, as easy as winking. If we make a
good haul, we needn't try that sort of a
thing again; and what does an old woman
want of uinch, while two fine young fel
lows are suffering.
At first Peter refused to listen, and re
proach his new friend with having fancied
he could join in such work; but finally lie
yielded. lis part was to creep in at a
window, while lIed Jack, who had lamed
himself in some past exploit of the sort,
waited outside with a horse and cart for
his appearance with the booty.
The night came. There was no moon
in the sky, no stars--all was (lark and
gloomy. Jack drove the wagon as near to
the house as he (lared, and Peter crept out
of it, and after some search, found the
house Jack had inentione... All was dark;
but Peter thought it best to make sure
that no one was stirring.
Softly he crept around the garden, peep
ing and listening, and at last stepped upon
the low back porch, upon which the win
dow opened, through which he was to
make his way. As his foot touched it a
board creaked and suddenly a voice cried
out in his ear:
"You, Peter, stop that,"
Peter stood still as though suddeuly
petrified. Again caie the cry:
"You; Peter, stop that."
The chisel Peter held fell from his iln
gers. He uttered a 'ow groan.
"Don't do that. Don't do that. Peter,
don't do that," repeated the voice.
Poor Peter fell upon his knees. lie felt
sure that it was a supernatural warning.
Pale, trembling, miserable, he crept back
to Jack, who sat in his wagon. "Help me
in, ,Jack," lie said. "1I've seen a ghost. I
can't go back to that house again."
I Jack was superstitious, like all people
i of his class. He struck the horse with
the whip and away they rattled through
L the dark vllage, as though 8atan was after
I hem, Daylight, however, restored Peter's
senses. lie ventured near the house in
L the afternoon and saw what he begun to
i think lie shouhl see his iother's great yel
low parrot swinging in a cage upon the
"It vab.Foll that called to me," thought
Peter. "Soniltone has bought the poor
bird. Well,:he swagd in from doitg
what I'd have been sorry"for-for I wasn't
born a thief " Tien he kn-tk'kl on the
kitchen door, and being answered WB a
servant in a p)rhm cap) and( aproni, began 'as
"Miss, by your leave, P'd like to know
if whosoever owns that parrot would like
to soil her. You see, she used to belong
to mother, and the old lady has gone to
heaven, antd l'd like- -"
But there he stopped, for out of the
house came rushing the 01(1 iady herself
and fiunig herself on his nieck.
"YJun, Pecter, stop) that I" screamed
But Peter could not stop) crying. Bad
as lie had been, lie loved his mother. From
that timie lie became an exemiplary ind(ivid
nl, though to lbe surc,thore was noe reason
for his being otherwise, for lie had all lie
needed without being dlishionest. And the
01(1 lady -whlo never guessed whet had
brought her son back to her-li ved happy
They were holding an outdoor ward meet
ing the other night ini Detroit, Michigan,
and a speaker had just coiimenced to
warm up to lis work when a strangter with
all lisa worldly "duds" in an 0old shicepskin
on his back, hoots gone, hat going aind a
dyed-in-the-wool tramp air about him,
halted oii tihe outskirts of the crowd. Th'ie
speech soon caught himi and lie began to
applaud. At the end of ce cry sentence lie
clapped lis hands and roaired like a fog.
horn. No matter whether the speaker 'lit
I 'em' or not, the stranger neve. failed to
comle down with the applause, and lie car
ried a goodl share of the crowd wvith hIn.
After the speaker had finished, andi while
he was wip)ing lia heated b)row, the trampll
ap)proached him and said(:
"T'hat 'ore sp)eech was one of the best I
ever heard in my life."
" 'Ah! l'mi gladi it pleased you,"
"Pleased niet Why It lhf 1ed1mn right
off'n my feet! I tell you, you're a born
Iorator, and I just wish I could stay In this
town and( hear you make a speech every
''"Yes, I wish you could."
"But I shan't, I'm on my way West. I
r shahll, however, think of your speech a hun
dred tinies a (lay. I can feel the electrich
I, ty of it yet, and-say, can't you lend me
a half a doilliar to help inc on?"
"Why, I dIon't know you. Why should
r I head you half a dollar?"
"Oh, come now, dion't try to ride any
high horse over me; you know how loud I
hollered, and you know as well as 1 (10,
r, that if I hadn't put in my best licks you'd
i have fallen as fiat as a shingle! Yoti are a
r great orator, sir, and that was a groat
a speech, but If you don't know that holler
Iinmg is what does the business, you'd better
I hang right up."
rThe orator ponddsred over the matter for
a few seconds,. andt then probably con
e luded thiat tlte'reasoning was sound, as ho
I pabaed over)he money.
Llin opr'baldits Heine.
ba- Cappera is a unall narrrow island-a
great rock in fact, with a few. patches o1
soll here and there-of about twenty-twi
miles in circuit and three or four in width,
ort separated from the northernmost part of Bar.
ind dinIa- as Valentia is from the coast ol
Kerry- by a strip of sea some two and a
half miles across. It was once well knowii
to the British sailor, for' it lies close to th
n- Aladdalena, one of Nelson's stations in the
cle Alediterranean. The only habitations art
a few shepherds' huts and Garibaldi'i
Igh house, situated on the western side, about
of three quarters of a mile on the highei
ground. It Is a one storied building.i. 6 ,
a gronnd-floor only, divided Into severi
an plain unadorned rooms: a kitchen with ap
nal phances any small farmer's wife in England
would conlider very insufficient; a dininq
.e. room with a plain deal table, largeenough,
however, to accommodate a party of twen.
ty-flve; a little storeroom; three bedroomi
see for his children and any friends who ina
he land upon the island; and his own bed.
chamber and study combined-a gooc
ir. sized room with two windows, (one to thc
)od east, the other to the south) a carpetles
boarded floor like the deck of a ship, and
ly whitewashed walls. Its chief articles ol
ife furniture are a plain, roomy, iron bedstead,
tie- four common chairs, a simple writing-table,
lie an old-fashioned chest of drawers, and a
mn- shower-bath. Everything is of the mos
ordinary kind, but there is no affectation ol
Spartan alnplici ty, and in atriking con
Ore trast to the modest aspect of I lie place art
luy a nuinler of things scattered about. Ou
try the bed Is a splendid counterpane of white
by cashmere, most exquisitely enbroidered
for him in silk by the ladles of Milan; and
standing in one corner, as carelessly placee
as if they were a bundle of sticks, are sov.
Oral swords of honor, with Damascut
blades and hilts of gold set with gems, pro
a sented to him by his fellow countrymen o1
ore Nice, Rome, and other cities; but what ht
ud, prizes far more is a box of tools for culti
vating and Ingrafting vines, sent him by
"- some friend in England. Flung over thc
back of the chair is a handsome poncho
en- of a rich. white material lined with red,
the gift of a distinguished Milanose lady.
ligs Hung against the wall are a telescope aml
a binoeular, both presents from England.
"ng These were used by him in the campaigr
ore of 1800; and on his writing-table, togethei
with a volume of P11utarch and some
, works on mathematics, lies a book of har.
it's bor plans given to him years ago an a mo.
mUt ient of need, by the captain of an Englisli
I'd ship, in the Port )f Canton. On the floot
ow, by his bedside there is a tiger skin tc
"tti step upon; above the head of the bed hangE
es. his mother's portrait, and at the side is a
ac stand on which lie a revolver and a dagger.
Ity This dagger is another record of his wife.
She always wore it hanging from hei
ter waist; and after her death, during the ro.
lat treat from Rome in 1849, Garibaldi con
of tinued to carry it in remenbrance of her,
he until lie lost it from his side during th<
.ie fight at Caserta on the 1k of October, 1860,
th- It was found, however, by a Calabrese,
who restored It to the General, and sinc<
rn- that its place has been by his bedside. Un,
UP less the General rings his bell no one Is per
0- imitted to enter his rooni with the excep
ad tion only of his son Menotti. On the wall
[n- of the dining room hang some water color
He representing 9pisodes in the Montevideau
ver war of independence, a photograph of at
3n incident in the siege of Venice in 1849, anC
in one corner a Brazijian lance carried b3
ly. one of his favorite t&oopers in Soutt
led America. Outside the door ofsiiq room i
by a Mexican saddle, with stirrups ok 1i've.
or, made in the form of reversed crowns. Thu
k a was a present from a Mexican friend, and
. is a record of the battle of Mellazo. It wai
tce when lie used it there that part of one ol
the stirrups was shot away by a cannon,
lie ball. A little to the north of the cottag(
stands one of those portable iron habita
tions for colonialuse sent to Garibaldi fron
et- Enigland.~j Its four little rooms andi kitchiei
ndl ar occupied by Bassi his secretary, and
Oni opposite to It the mill where the flour fot
hie the General's family and household ii
ndi( ground. Trhe household , howvever, is nol
1se numerous. It numibers but three persons
an old soldier, a Venetian emigrant, wI<
acts as the General's Orderly, and server
for love not, for money; another man wh<
ie- coonsa, and a woman to do the washing anm
ing tidying-up. The guests at Caprera are re
ast qmiredl to make their own beds.
urt- "You, Peter, top That."
ow Once there was a very poor woman wh<
Shad an only son. She did her best by hiin
and brought him up as well as she could,
li Whenever he dlid well she praised him, but
whenever lie did anything she thoughl
w wrong, foir instance playing marbles 0r
- unday, stealing apples from their neigh
b)or's trees, teasing little girls or tying tir
i-kettles to tihe cat,'s tail, she used to cal
as Ysril Peter, stop that," in a peculiarly
immediately another voice, sharpet
mad and shiriller than hers, would cry out:
ce"You, Peter, stop that."
ICd It belonged to the yellow parrot, wh<
leswung in a big basket-work cage on thi
wall. Sihe had learnt the sp)eech by listen
eat ing to it so often, although she was not
onvery accomplished ;parrot, and knew littl
else besides but 'Polly' wants a cracker,'
ed and "poor Polly." The boy lovedi hi
ho mother, but he was rather a wi:d, had sor
of a boy. When lie was about sixteci
years 01(1 he left the carpenter to whomh
-was ap)prenticed and ran away to sea
obhowever, before lie went lie wrote a not'
hyto his miother, telliig haer not tQ w'orry,tha
hb le liked the sea better than sawdust, an<
hethat he would come back with a cap ful
'Oof money some1 dlay. Morever, he tok(i lie
the vessel lie slipped on-The Jane.
The mother wept an(t prayed,as all goot
miothicra do, while her boy was on the sea
men but she b)elievedi that lie was, after all,fon<
iys of her, and she expected himi back, uni
rie- ono day she read In the paper that The Jant
up lad gone down In mid ocean with all lie:
rty crew and( cargo.
aw- Tihen It, seemed to her that all the high
uly of thle world had been quenched. She
and gave hersif up to misery and longed to die
the Indeed, she would have prayed for deati
ren had she not feared that thIs would be
the flowever death spared her, and took in.
lay stead a certain cousin who had made
a large fortune, and was about to be maruio(
tier to a pretty woman,and who was very,very
per anxious to live. 11ls dieath made an hieiress
to of the poor widow, and though she care<
vaa nothing for the money now she had tos
aId her Peter,the lawyers made her come ovel
emi to the reading of the will, and finally per
re- suadled he' to settle in the handsome hious
hihwas furnished for the poo, at
A "Cooked" Witness.
It was a suit for a divorce, down in Kon
nebeck County, Maine. The husband, a
surely, mean faced, ferret eyed, beetle
browed man, who kept a village store, and
sold liosspecker's Bitters and some other
things, wanted a divorce from his wife.
They were both in court. Tho woman was
sickly lookmg, and very likely, had been
driven into hysterics by the brute who
called himself her husband. The prlacipal
witness for the libellant was another beetle
browed, ferret eyed, ncan visaged fellow,
who tended store for the latter, and board
ed in his family.
And this witness had been "cooked"
had been "(tone up brown"-by both his
emplloyer and his en.ployer's lawyer. It
was plain to be seen that lie answered by
rote,-that the words be spoke had been
Put into his mouth by another. When the
attorney for the wife came to questloi% this
witness, after his own lawyer had (lone
with him, Ie said to him, with a smile,
the whole meant for the jury, of course.
"You've got your lesson pretty well,
haven't you, sir ?"
"1I haln't got no lesson !"
"All right. But let us see: You say,
If 1 understand you, that Mrs. B--has a
very retallatini disposit ion ?"
"Yes sir, -that's what I said."
"Well,-and how did she retaliate?
Give us an instance."
"Why," grunted the witness, with a
stupid look, "I've told lots -f 'emi.'"
*'Yes,-and now I want you to tell me
one. Tell me, and the jury, if you please,
a marked case of her retaliation."
"My,-I've told you once,-shie was al
"Exactly ; but we want a particular in
stance, so that we can judge of its real
merits. Now look. Did you ever see the
libellant in this case-your employer-kiss
"Yes, sir?" the man answered quickly.
"'And what did the wife (to on that oc
'"She retaliated, imiejitly l"
"That will do. You may go down."
The conucil for the libellant would have
called the witness back, but the judge
whispered to himi something which nobody
else lieard, but which caused him to let the
Tihe dirvorce was not decreed.
The Willows at St. 1ol1na.
The willow which overshadows the first
Bcnaparte's grave is the second planted
HIiIce the interment of the Einperor, and Is
26 years old. Willows at St. Helena, it
would appear, rarely attain a greater long
evity than 30 years, and shoots are care
fully preserved for planting. The ex - Kn
press Eugenie brought away soni young
shoots and a few violet and gera'tin 1,11118
froi the tomb, some for Isrsentationi to
Her Majesty the Queen, >uid some for her
self and her friends. This JlorA1 cullus
has been going on for nearly sixty years.
Writing to Lord 11athurst, immediately
after the interment of Napoleon, Sir lind
son Lowe said: "I shall cause a railing to
he put around the whole of the ground, It
being necessary even for the preservation
of the willows, many sprigi of which have
already begun to be taken by ditferemt mn
dividuala who wt nt dtown to visit the place
after the funeral.'' This is the incident
which, as Mr. Forsythe has m ell pointed
out, was afterward so ludicrously yet so
ml 1;evolent ly distorted byAntommarehi, who
(lesciibed Sir Hudson Lowe as turniug pale
and foaming at the mouth with rage when
lie witnessed this "spontaneous manifesta
tion of feeling." "Iudson," as the Italian
surgeon styled Sir Hudson Lowe, endeavor
ed to check the ''manifestation of feling"
by "anger and threats;" but the guilty
were nunerous,'and of all classes of people
and he could not; therefore, punish.
JVhecn a new History of Polit,ical Lying
comie* to be written (and is not the time
almost rip.; for such a publication ?) a spe
cial volume sh'ooka b\9 thevoted to the varn
ens narratives of the captivig~ a9f,Napholeon
A Oisne Tra,ng,,
The first, Chinese tramp ever'seen ini Uti
ca visited that pla1ce a few days ago. iIe
came from the WVest. TIhere was an un-i
mistakable Celestial air about himn, pigtail
and all, but thme pack fastened on 1-is shioul
dler betokened the trampj. When the
heathen Ilrst attracted attention lie was en
(deavorlig to run the blockadle at the depot
gate. lIe had no tiecet, amid Mr. Moyer
declined to adlmit lhan to the (depot yard
''Where ia your ticket," asked the gate.
"No foolee Chiinee."
"lit you cain't pass through unless you
have a ticket."
"No foolec Chinee."
Officer Evaiis was summaonedl to p)revenat
the Celestial from breaking the barricade at
the gate. "Whera (10 you want to go ?"
skcd the oillcer.
"No foohee Chince."
William D)unn came to the iescue. Wheni
hie asked the alnond-eyed niman whet her
lhe had any money, the reply was:
"No foolee Chaine,"
Then the officials exp)eriencedh conisldera
ble trouble with him, and as the train
bound East was standing in the yard, Mr.
Vanderhecy bought a ticket for Frankfort
and tend(ered it to the Mongolian. Hie (o..
(-hined to receive it, shaking his head and
"No foolee Chinee."
Appearances I ndicatedl that the foreigner
had paddledl on 'foot over the railroad ties
frona some far Western city and after con.*
sulatin with. Superintendent PrIest, the
Mongolian was permitted to resume his
pedestrianism on the line of the Central.
iIe scooted through the depot gate in tri
umnph, struck a bce-line East, and made off
like a carrier-pigeon, simply remarkinag:
"No foolee CThinee."
And they dlidn't.
Magnets in Mala.
It seems that the Introduction of magnets
into the great grain malls of i ho WVest has
worked finelly. Not only have they cap
tured all tihe stray pieces of Iron b nds,and
thus remioved ,tho only obj,ction urged
agailmt wire-banding harivesters, bu' they
have rev'eahed the singular fact that, of the
scraps of iron and steel wm.ieh find their
way mixed with wh at to the mills, fully
one-half are sopnethinig besides pieces of
wire, and a larger proportion of those are
of such a nature' s to.be even more dan
gerous to mil. mbAOuhjery. The magnets
gather everthing of this kind with eeFtaii.
Recently a green looking spechmen of
humanity, evidently fresh from the harvest
fields of Cranberry, strolled into the Metro
politan drug store, at Oil City, Pa, His
hair was long and well bleached by the
weather; his skinny, pimpled face was
about the color of a red cow. He wore a
very broad brimmed, twenty-five cont straw
hat; had on a colored jean shirt, and over
his shoulder a single suspender held in
place a pair of blue duck pants, or overalls.:
Ilis large shoe s were worn red, by con.
tinuously coiming in contact with the stub.
ble in the hayfield, and were - -qn at tlie
tops and In the toes, exposir view 14
thick pair of home knit, woo -14gs..
The whole make up was sat .7ith
perspiration, which at once gaN eou
liar odor anl an appearance not altogether
lovely. With a vacant look lie bashfully
sidled up to the counter and accosted Win
Cowell, who was in attendance, with:
"I've licarn tell 'bout love powders. Did
you'ne ever hear tell on 'em f"
"Oh, yes," replied Win, "I've frequent
ly heard of them," at the same time won
dering what in the world the lovel.T erea
ture before him could be driving at.
"Wall," continued greeney, "I reokon as
how you'ns liain't got none of 'em, has
"Certainly, we keep them constantly in
stock," r,phed the affable druggist.
-llow dew ye sell 'emI"
"'Twenty-tive cents per box.
''low many on 'en in a box?"
"Four powders in each box.
"Wall, now; ain't that rather steep?"
"The component ingredients of the pow
ders, which render them eflicacious luover.
coming the propensities and passions of the
opposite sex, placing then wholly in your
power, and subservient to your own will,
are vegetable productions, from the sun
kissed shores of Greenland, Imported at
great expense, and it must be apparent to
you that at the price asked-"
"N All, I don't keer 'bout hearin' any
more o' that. If these 'ere powders will
do the busiuess I'm willfu' to 'low tow
shillin's, teough I reckon, that's tarnal
high. But I'm bound to got even."
"Shall I put them up for you?"
"Ya-a-s, I guess so."
Win then went to his prescription desk
and in a few minutes returned with a little
box containing four small powders in pa
"You must be mighty careful," said he,
"about giving these. Half of one of those
poo ders is a dose,"
"Never you mind," responded the young
man, "I'll give 'er 'nough if I have to give
thiemi all at once.
lie thn fished a twenty-five cent silver
piece out of his leather pocketbooi, placed
it on the showcase and walked out.
When lie had gone, Cowell remarked:
"That's a I. retty good price for sugar."
A SeriomR Weding Joke.
There was a triple wedding injest in
Laveta, Colorado, a week or two since.
The partios were F. D. Mc Holland,
Deputy &Kheriff of Huerfano-county: E. A.
Palier, agent of the Denver and Rio
Urande railroad, and another gentleman
whose name was not printed, but he is a
sawyer and has a big sawmill somewhere.
Trhe young ladies were Kate Lewis,' Addie
Patterson and Laura Paterson of Laveta.
The gentlemen were visiting the ladies and
running out of small talk one of them pro
posed to the three giddy girls to have mar.
riage ceremonies-in fun, of course. They
thought it would be splendid, and paired
off accordingly. A messenger was sent for
a third party to help carry out the jolly
game-and all went merry till he came.
lie was W. A, Toffelire, a very innocent
looking man in appearance. le was told
what waa wanted, and nothing loth, he
ofliciated at that family alter. When the
ceremonies were over one of the girls said
it was tIe jolliest joke she ever sawv played.
"Joke," said Troffeimire, "its no joke. I'm
a Justice of the Peace, and you're all fast
mnarriedlr" Tlhen there was a chorus of
screams andl faints. The girls had never
dirmied t.getting married in earnest. The
gentle men, it-tppears, did, and they played
It fIely. They hiid.4u9odwinked the girls
withi merrinent. What Eart-' be done.
The fIrst tiing to do was to get tlih?g9iltle
men of the party out of that house alit
they went without further ceremony than
a pressing invitation to leave given by. the
old folks who lived there and did,nt know
what was going on In the parlor. The
three men went to their respective homes
crestfallen. It was not half as funny as
they anticipanted, for they inagIned the
girls would give in when they found out,
how they had been married by stealth.
Divorce is the only remedy that can be ap
plied unless they finally concaide to stick,
and one at least ought to stick out of three.
One of the girls is sakli to be0 engaged to a
young muanw la id(igging a plie of gold4
for her at Ban Juan, and the affair is a
little bit ''rough" on her and her betrothed
minier. The others might make a virtue
of necessity andl carry out the joke.
'A Olover Trick.
Th le Japan Mall describes a clever trick '
which was beIng exhibited by a native jug- "
gk-'r at Joshida bashmi. The performance
imakes place In a small room about twenty.
six feet long antI twelve feet wide, half be
ing allotted to spectators, who are admit
tedi on payment of' the moderate fee o1 two
cents. T1he "properties" consist of a deal
table and a sword, etc. After tihe usual
soul-stirring floutrish on a drhum and a ant
isen, a man andl woman appear from behind
a screen, the manm binds the woman's head
In a cloth, antd sihe then kmnees (Iowa close '
to the table, and sidewhys to the spectators.
The mean then dlraws tho sword, makes a
vielent blow at the woman's hiead,sho falls
forward, armas extendedl and limbs twitch
ing. lie then having irst wiped the swor4i
on a gory-loomoing piece of rag taikes op,
(apparently) the womian's head, wrapped 4
in the cloth, and p)laces it on the table.' To
all appearance it is a human head, the eye
11(15 andl features have a convulsed motion'
presently the eyes open in a dreamy BOti; (I
way, and to theoaccomnpanimentof the ever- .
lasting samisen, the head sings a mournlul
song. A curtain is interposed betweent the ~
audience and the performers, and then
again drawvn back the woman is disclosed
quietly seated alongside the man. When it
is recolected that this all takes place with.
Iu shout three feet from the spectator, and
that the "propertie'' are of the shple a
description, some av~ be sod
the wonderfuloele -ae aof t~
whhas excited a leifJ&."
'K'1he frti o% a mu i' i
ilNdkat bf in Mt