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The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, October 06, 1900, Image 1

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Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn93067705/1900-10-06/ed-1/seq-1/

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"What are we tiiling for?" he sighed;
"Why do we strive on, day boy day?.
When the trouble's ewled and one has
What shall it profit him. anyway?
Will he then awaken again to know
That men are praising him here below?"
"When do you toil and how?" she said;.
"What are the things that you have
How inany ste-ps have you gone ahead.
Where are the honors that you have
Ah. he will lie dead and be dumb for .ye
Who twiddles his thumbs and doibts
today." - -S. E. Kiser.
"If we can't agree, ma'am, it's high
tine we parted company." said Mr.
*tbfas Butlington.
"My sentiuclts exactly." said Miss
Patty Chickson. "and the sooner the
better. accordi ., to my way of think
Mr. Buffington was a portly individ
ual, with a Roman nose, iron-gray
hair, and a stout, short figure.
Miss Chickson was tall and spare,
with little spiral curls and the remains
of a complexion. and with blue eyes,
tlat had been passing bright 20 years
"There is an end to all human endu
ance," observed the gentleman. steru=
'Sir" said Miss Chickson. "I have
put up with your eccentricities until
forbearance has ceased tobe a virtue"
"A month's noti.e:" said Mr. Buf
fingtonl, savagely flourishing his yel
low silk pocket-handkerchief.
",You are quite at liberty to go at
the end of 24 hours. for all I care:"
retorted Miss Chickson. with dignity.
"Madam, I take you at your word,"
said the gentleman.
Mr. Barnabas Butfington had lodged
with Miss Patty Chickson for 10
years. He was rich and eccentric:
she was poor and proud. As young
people, there had been certain love
aages between them-or ratl:er the
s of loves passages. which had
never blossomed into full perfection -
and when M1r. Buffington came home
from China and found his old pastor's
orphan daughter trying to gain a
scanty livelihood by letting apart
ments, he engaged her entire second
floor at once, and paid his way like a
"Poor girl: poor girl:" said Mr. Bar
nabas Buffington. "But how thin' and
old-maidish she has grown! I really
young men are, t be sure!"
"Poor, dea . r. Buffirgfon how
stout agyxulgar he has become!" said
Miss lckson. "And only to think
how slender he was once! How the
dreams of one's youthful days .do al
Mr. Barnabas Buffington was not
perfect enough to be canonized, and
Miss Chickson had her petty peculiari
ties. The consequence was that little
collisions were Inevitable.
And one day there came a longer
mteisuring of wordy words than usual.
and Mr. Buffington and Miss Chick
-4.son formally parted.
'."Ten years is quite long enough to
tolerate this state of things," said the
old bachelor.
"i'm only surprised that I haven't
turned him away long ago," said the
old maid.
So when Mr. Buffington had gone
away, in a calh piled high with bag
gage, Miss Chickson raing the bell for
her maid.
"Barbara." said she.
'Yes, ma'am?" said Barbara.
"Mr. Buffingtoni is gone at last."
"So I perceive. mat'anm," said Bar
bara. "And won't he come back again,
ma'am ?"
"Never:" said Miss Chickson, with
"Oh!" said Barbara, rather' sur
"it will be necessary for us to re
duce expenses," remarked th? mis
tress. "Of course I c'annot any long
er afford to keep so large a house as
this. Mr. Buffington, whatever were
his faults, cannot at least he ac'cusedl
of parsimony."
"('ertainly not. ma'am," said Bar
"Of all liberal, ft'ee-handed. kind
spoken gents-"
"Barbara, you will oblige me hy
hilding your tongue!" said Miss Chick
"Certainly, ma'am." said Barbara.
"Get me a c'up of tea." said Miss
Chickson. "and when I hav-e drunk it
I will go out to look for a e ieaper
house, in a less aristocratic neighbor
Barbara brought up the tea. in a
quaint little Wedgewood teapot. on a
Japanese tray.
Miss Chickson drank it in silence,
looking sadly at the fire.
Tea was, so to speak, Miss Chick
son's inspiration. When she was low
spirited or in doubt or puzzled, or in
any way thrown off her mental oal
ance, she drank tea, and straightway
became herself again.
Meanwhile. Mr. Barnabas Buffing
ton. in the solitary splendors of a
west end hotel, was scarcely less ill
at ease.
"I don't like this sort of thing at
all." said Mr. Buffington to himself.
one morning a month later. "It isn't
homelike. There's no eat here. Patty
Chickson always kept a ('at. There's
something v'ery domestic and cozy
looking about a cat. I'll go out ant
look down the advertising columns of
the daily paper and see what induce
pients they have to offer in the way
pf quiet. respiectable homes for elder
So it came to pass that Mr. Barna
bas Burlington sallied forth. not house
hunting. but home hunting.
It was not a so readily disposed of
business as he supposed. This hoiuse
wais next to a livery stable: that one
contained a young lady that was
practicing for an opera singer: the
third smelled as if the drainage was
defective: the fourth was too splendid;
11he fifth too shabby.
"I don't know but what I shall be
compelled to sleep at the stat''un
house." gloomily remarked Mr. Barnia
Nis Buftington. "for, com1 what iu:Iy,
nothing shall induce me to go back to
that noisy hotel. where the waiters
don't cole until you have rung the
hell 40 times, and the soup is served
half cold.
Ile was walking pensively along a
quiet and shady little street. with
both hands thrust deep down in his
pocket. and the front of his hat tilt
ed down. over his nose. when, chane
ing to look up. he perceived a gray (at
dozing in the bay -window of a modest
looking house and on the doorway
thereof was placed an unpretentious
"Board and Lodgings at Moderate
"I like the look of that place," said
Mr. Buffington. "They keep a cat
there-a gray eat. it's not splendid,
but it looks comfortable. I'll try It."
lie rang the hell: a neat little maid
servant in a white apron and frilled
cap responded to the summons.
"Please. sir, misses ain't at home,
but I knows all about the rooms,"
said the little damsel. "I can show
em. and I ann tell you the terms.
Barnabas Buffington liked the look
of the rooms. There was a bright
coal fire burning in the grate.
"Misses wanted the rooms to be well
alred." said the girl, courtesying at
every other word.
"Your mistress. my girl, is a woman
of selise." said Mr. Butington. "This
settles the matter. I'll take the apart
ments for a month certain. with the
privilege of renewal if I find myself
He took off his hat. unwound the
comforter from about his neck and
sat down before the cheery shine of
the grate.
"Go and tear down the bill at once,"
said he. "And leave the door open
.4b that the cat can come in. I ama
partial to cats!"
"But. s'r," hesitated the white
aproned lassie. "if my missis-"
"Never mind your mistress." said
Mr. Butfington, cavalierly. "Shewant
ed a boarder, and she's got one! What
more would she have?"
MW ir 1AIP,.11 ' -I'
.str a
his trunkl'-and hat boxes wi -
Miss Chickson and Barbara had
been out selecting some new pie-plat
ters and pudding basins and little Bet
sy was eagerly watching for them at
the area door when they came in.
"Please. missis." said Betsy. "the
room is let. And he's sitting up stairs
now, with the cat in his lap."
"Who is?" demanded Miss Chick.
"The new boar'der, ma'am."
"What is his name?"
"Please, mna'am. I don't know," said
Miss Chickson walked into her little
parlor and sat down, fanning herself
with her honnet.
"Betsy," said she, "go upsta irs. pre
sent my compliments to this stranger',
and tell him that I shall be glad of
an interview~ at once. He may be a
burglar, for what I know"
"Y'es'm." said Betsy.
And away she tripped, returning
"He's coming, ma'am." said she.
And in stalked-Mr. Barnabas Buf
"Good grac'ious me!" said Miss
"It's Patty ('hickson, isn't it?" said
Mr. Buffington, staring wvith all his
eyes. "I might have known that it
was the same' cat. Hiowever,. ma'am,."
relapsing into a belligerent attitude,
"I won't intr'ude. I'll leave the
prmises at on('e."
"Don't," said Miss C'hickson, faint
"Eht" said Mr. Buffington.
"I-i hope' you don't bear malice,"
saidl Miss Chickson. "I'm afraid I
was a little impatient."
"Don't mention it:" saidl Mr. Buffing
ton. * It was all my fault."
"I was unreasonabile" saidl Miss
"I was a brute." said Mr. Buffington.
"I have rep~roachedl myself bitterly,"
faltered the lady.
"I haven't had a moment of p~eace
sin-e." said Mr. Barnabas Buffington,
"Shall we forget and forgive?"
whispered Miss C7hickson.
"I know a better plan than that."
said Mr. Buffington. "Let's begin the
world on a new basis."
"I don't understand you." said Miss
"I like you and your ways." said
Mr. Buffington. "I didn't know how
much until we separated. Let us set
te down together for life. Patty Chick
son. Let's be married."
"At our age?" saidl Miss ('hickson.
"We shall never be any younger."
saidl Mr. Buftington.
"If you really think people wouldtit
laugh!"' hesitated the spinster.
"WXhat do4 we care' whethei' they (d0
or not?" saidl the ha('helor'. recklessly.
And the result of this conference
was that Mr'. and Mrs. Bar'nabas Buf
fington are now sitting' one on eithe
side of the hearthrug, with the gray
ct in the middle. as harmonIous a
trio as one will often find.
And the bill is tnken down perma
COME OF $30.000,000 A YEAR.
Ils Annual Rtcelpts Nearly Equal t
Those of All Europe's Crowned Head
-Solonon in All His Glory Had if art
Jy Half the Ainerican's Incone.
John ). Rockefeller........$3..0
Czar of Russia.............. 12.00W,000
Emperor of Geriany (as
King of Prussia only.. 3.852,770
Emperor of Austria-Iun
gar% ..... ............ ..'.7.0
King of Italy............ 2.958.400
King of Spain.............. 2.0{4h.i0
( ueen of Eingland.......... .925.I(NI
King of Portugal........... 24.4 40
King of ( reec........
King of Norway and Swe
den ... .. .. ... . .. ..
King of Saxon......... 735.1
King of W iurteinberg....... 4 19.0hi
.King of Rotumani&.... 237.000
King of Bavaria............ 1.412.000
King of Belgium........... (0.000)
Iing of P nimar! ..........227.775
King of Servia.............240.0'
Wealth has given John 1). Itock(
feller an incolie which ai monarel
on cartl might envy. for he coie
very near to receiving iore ii money ii
the course of a year than all th
crowned.' heads ot Eirope coibined
That last priieely dividend of th,
Standard Oil Conipany ca used th
world "f finance to pausoe and thil
how much the King of Petroleun
really possessed. Andrew Carnegie
and that canny S(ot has :n incomte o
$20.0)00.00 a ye:r himself--says tiha
John D. lockefolk-r is the wealthies
man ill the world. It is conservativel.
cstimated that Mir. R"ockefeller's in
come is $30.0XkI.(xxD a yeair.
It is a bold decla:'ation to make wheli
it is said that Mr. Iockefeller is ilu
richest mian on earth. yet fiinncier
,ay tiat the tigures will heair out tlh
assert ion. te nay be Ilie riches
man who vecr lived, for there Wa
Soloion. who. by controlling : coil
siderable trade in Ophir gold. Leibanoi
Cedar. granite. oils :1m1id such lhin:
as well as by levying tribut- and sell
in.g concessions,. ibanaged to get tc
get her :ti :innal icoa of (;1,0 talents
That is $17.502,4,W. Out of the sav
ings from the king and voluntary coli
tributions the temiple was built. Ii
the course of .evei years the lebrex
king was htfkrrpt. Ile maintainei
out of his incomne 40.000 stalls o
horses and 12,000 horsemen.
Then there was Midas, a half myti
ological personage, who ruled Phrygia
Everything he triched turned to gold
Including the vi ds which he plannei
to eat. He. too fuffered from indiges
Solan did not kathuse over his pros
perity. He had too much oil. Th
fluid was pourel over a pile of fagoti
on which lie vas compelled to sit
The kindly intervention of a rain storn
watered it so lioroughly that the life
of the Lydian monarch was spared
Queen. Victoga is ordinarily sup
posed to be weilthy. Her income fron
her private eaates is comparatively
small, for she .ave away some of thE
most v'aluable of her property upoi
her accession .0 the throne. Her an
nuity, which iteludes all the expense!
of her household. Is about two mill
ions of dollars. The members of he:
faimily have teparate annuities whici
are not inlued In the estimate.
The Income of the Czar of Rtussia
which Is delved largely from vas
private domaus. is estimated at $12,
000.000~. It it hard to determine thi
income of tle Emperor of Germany
for. besidles the nearly $4,000,004
on his civil 1st, as King of Prussia
le has a larfe income from vast es
tates In varlis parts of Germany.
John D. Roccefeller lives simply. HI:
table does mt abound in luxuriou:
food. His a~odes are plainly fur
nished. Yet he has more money thaI
mo'archs who are surrounded by goli
laced functbnaries and are hurrli
about in ca-rlages ornamented' wit)
solid gold.
This great man at whose flat sgrea
universities are called into being'ani
schools and colleges take on new lIf(
has the weathm of a Croesus, the touc)
of Midas an1 the worldly wisdom of;
Those wlx wish to get an idea o
the figures ipon which the estimate 0
John D. Ror* feller's wealth Is base<
need first t> turn their thoughts t
oil. Mr. Rockefeller owns about orn
third of the $100,000,000 stock of th
Standard Oil Coinpany.
The stock pays dividends of forty
eight per cent, a year. which w'oul
give him an annual Income of $10
Aside from that he has an enormou
income from iron interests in th
Messaba range. H-e has the contro
ling interest in a fleet of steamers upo
the great lakes. He has large an
select blocks of stock in gas and ele<
tric 'onmpanies in the principal citie
of the United States. The Standar
Oil Company helps him to control ga
and electricity in almost unlimite
Mr. Rockefeller's interests in rai
road properties are extensive. H
practically owns the Missouri. Kansa
and Pacific Railroad. The stock
cheap, yet the bonds pay interest.]
is generally understood that Mr. Roel
feller has stock in the Missouri Pu
cific. the Chicago Northwestern. th
Chicago. Milwaukee and St. Paul. th:
Delaware. Lackawanna and Western
the New York Central. thle New Yori
New Haven and Hartford. the Penm
sylvania. the Union Pacific. the Clh
cago and Alton. the Chicago. Burlin;
ton and Quiney. and the Natioms
Transit Comupan~y. He ~ also has stoe
in the National City Bank. the Fan
ers' Loan and Trust Company. th
Amalgamated Copper Company. an
geores of other mining properties at
en his lists.
will Ibe seen that %fr. Carnegie's Pestl.
mate is a conservati.' one.-New York
Genoa's City of the Dead Contains Some
Bare Specimens.
A love of the splendid has thrived
in (enoa an-1 still finds expression in
a number of ways that only money
(an1 efect. And nothing perhaps
empliasizes this to the stranger more
strongly than a visit to the Campo
Santo. the cemetery of Genoa.
In this country of ours, apart from
any allegorical figure. the effigy on a
101111) relpresents 1he individual in
whose memory the monument is
raised. A statue over a grave is in
the likeness of the dead man.
Not so in the Campo Santo of
Genon. or indeed. in any of the cene
teries of lialy. There may be
there often is-a medallion portrait in
high relief of the deceased. But the
chief ligures Mlre- there are noal
legorial tigures) are those who have
been left sorrowing.
There is perhaps an element of true
ar in this-to us--quaint custom.
While the eye is iled by the figures
or people possibly still living they nev
ertheless are telling no story of their
own. They are there In order to sug
gest and intensify -a remembrance of
t!e virtues of the dead. And most
certainly they do this.
Take the monument where the figure
of a man stands leaning against a pil
lar. his hand shading his eyes. It is a
son at his father's grave. The figure
is that of an ordinary man in every
day clothes. There is nothing pietur
esque aboumt him.-;and yet the whole
effect is inexpressi rely beautiful. Nor
is :t a nire question of splendid seuip
tire. The attituM of the man is one
in deep sorrow. and the mlind instinct
ively recognizes .tat the dead man
most have been a good man to have
commanded so profound a grief. No
tablet, no written'phrase could testify
this as pathetically and as eloquently
as does tihis stricken figure.
Again how eloquent of a husband's
good qualities is the monumnent where
the widow stands knocking at the
door of the tomb in her yearning to
follow him. Suriely there is in this
simple conpositiofn more tribute to the
man than- in the :conventional monu
ment where the deased sits, in semi
classic gArmen -o a wholly classic
chair, with o iuii pon his knee
and the other arm of the chair.
Probably the On never In his
lfe struck su . tude, and the
memrial d its Inscriptin
- for home- t his worth. The
ple to adorn a
dead friends is shown in the
monument where doctor is stand
ing by the bed ils dead patient.
The story runs illness which
proved fatal and unex
pected. The he great
est in the lait, but
he arrived toolate.-Pea r' -
You cannot puten great hope Into a
small soul.-J. L. Jones.
The necessity) of circumstances
proves friends and detects enemies.
Begin your day with a clean con
science in every wan Cleanliness is
There ~e no pers'ons more solicitous
about the preservation of rank than
those who have no rank at all.-Shen
Duty is the only tabernacle within
which a man can alwvays make his
home on the transfiguration mountain.
-Philips Brooks.
What some men call success others
call death. Death of love, death of
hope, death of manhood, death of the
soul.-The Schoolmaster.
Habit Is the beneficent harness of
1routne which enables silly men to live
Srespectably and unhappy men to live
calmly.-George Eliot.
Our lives, by acts exemplary, not
Sonly win ourselves good names, but do
Sto others give matter for virtuous
deeds by which we live.-C.hapman.
Few men are more to be shunned
Cthan those who have time, but know
Inot how to improve it, and so spend it
)in wasting the time of their neighbors,
-talking forever, though they have noth
ilg to say.---Tryon Edwards.
Chinese Bed Rooms.
Chinese bed rooms, even in the
- homes of the wealthy, are usually dark
and p'ot ventilated, and are like in
s side cupboards. The bed is a canopied,
eelaborate affair, heavy and beautifully
-carved. and this piece of furniture
is often handed dlown from father to
I son through hiany generations. But
-there Is nothing elaborate about the
sbed covering. In place of a tmattre'ss
Ither? is a mat and the covering is the
soccupnt's clothing, or, p)ossiblIy, a
Swadded quilt. Extra clothing is pro
vided for cold weather, and in the
-north, where the weather is extrenme
ely cold. the carved wood bedste-1d is
snot used. There, in the hou.se of every
swell-to-do citizen and in the Inns, there
t are divans of masonry beneath wimich
.there are fireplaces, and on these di
.vans the people sleep, and the mnre is
e utilized for cooking purposes.-London
e Mail.
Young Ideas About Cows.
It was a class of eight-year-olds and
-the subject for composition was ".he
. 'ow."~ One of the girls wrote, among
I other things. "the cow is a very iseful
kanimal. for she supplies us with beef
-steaks, veal, pork and other meats."
eAnother, looking at the subject irom
ri a wholly different standpoint. inought
cthe cow very useful becauise "she
k'ees the garden ('lean by eating the
twes.-Philadelphbia Timues.
R--ds -t-es I
I:oad aad Side-Path Construction.
IT, is now about twelve years sine(
wheelmen began the agitation for
.better highways. The subject then
was of no general interest, and
havd, up to that lime, rece!vcd no at
tion, except in a few favored locali
tiks where wealthy towns had begun
to improve their streets. It Is true
that quite a reputation had been
gained for these villages, but their
'xample had not incited others to make
similar improvements.
Of all travelers. the cyclist is best
fitted to notice and appreciate the "on
dition of the highways, and it may be
traly saild that though, :1n 189%, hi9
seat on the high wheel elevated him
above the lowly position of to-day, he
was much miore likely to come into in.
timiate, persoaal contact with road
surfaces that he is at present. His ob
servation and experience soon con
vinced hint that highways v-ere gener
ally badly made and poorly kept. and
that their imorovement would be a
distinct public gain.
The public at first regarded th(
wheelman's advocacy of bet', roads
as a purely selfish move, and this idei
has not even yet been wholly dissi
pated; but so much investigation and
discussion have followed in the wake
of the persatent agitation by cyclistf
and other good road advocates, thai
it Is now fairly evident to a consid
erable part of the community that the
welfare of all classes would be pro
moted in ninny ways through the es
tablishment and maintenance of firn
permanent roadways.
The wheelman, for his part, is bet
ter equipped to traverse poor roads
now than lie was prior to 1890. for
low bicycles and pneumatic tires placc
him at a great advantage as compared
with high machines and hard tires of
the earlier date. If he possessed nc
public spirit, his interest In promoting
further improvements might languish,
but he is still found in the fore-front
of the agitation and is sure to remain
It is not to be denied, however, that
the work he undertook,and is so active
in promoting. has Its discouragements,
and that he is sometimes almost tempt
ed to leave it entirely to others, who
are, or should be, more deeply inter
ested in It. Nevertheless, he remains
loyal to It, and will continue to de
so until full success Is finally achieved.
But, having gone thus far, and ac
&omplislied so muen, In a general way,
it cannot be considered strange, or
dsloyal to the good roads cause, it
wheelmen give more heed to their im
mediate Interests. especially in places
in which it is thus far impossible to
secure action on the h ghways. There
re still many localities In which roads
and paths are unfit for bicycles to
T4Iover through a good portion of
ie a-n
t is not only desirable, but eminent
y right and proper, that riders of
~ycles should endeavor to provide de
rent pathways for themselves under
uch circumstances.
There is no conflict in the two ideas.
[ard highways are a national necessi
:y. They must eventually come. Many
~teps toward securing them have been
taken, but many more remain, and in
he undertaking there will be no hard
3r or more faithful workers than the
vheelmen of the country.
But smooth sidet paths are the only
tource of enjoyable riding for thou
sands of whteelnien scattered through
>ut the land, and are of deep Imupor
ance to thenm. Their construction not
anly confers upon such cyclists a
prompt and considerable benefit, but
ives to others a permanent illustra.
tion of the advanitages conferred by
means of rapidl locomotion and trans
portation. thtis Inculcating on observ
ers one of the fundamental reasons
or the existence of good roads.-L. A.
W. Bulletin.
Good Roads.
The National Goodl Roads Conven
ion at Port Huron did not make as
much noise as the political convention
or take tip as mutch space in the pa
pers, but it may produce as good re
suIts. Our reportls of Its doings are
very scant as yet, but we may receive
other rep~orts later. A delegate from
Maryland said that his State spent
$i.00~,00 in the construction and re
pair of roads in the last ten years,
and most of that money was wasted
'n roads that were poorly made and
iever could be made good roads, at
iost of them wvere In poor condition
a large part of the year and others all
the year. It was estimated that iI
cost the farmers of that State $30,000,.
00) a year more to do their necessary
haulling to amnd from miarket than it
would if they had good roads. Tfh
estimt~ie of the United States Depart
ment of Agriculture Is that the aver,
age ((ost of hauling one ton a mik
th-oughoumt the United States is twen
t-live cents, while If they had mecad
am~ized roadus it would not cost ovel
one-third of that. If the farmers real
izd how much poor ro'As cost then
every year, they might think the tai
necessary to build goodl roads was bu
a small one. To keep on as they havi
been dloing is poor economy. .
Gold in Lapland.
A French journal says that the Nor
vegianis have begun prospecting fol
goli in the Altenely Valley,about sixty
miles from Bossekop, in the heart o
Laplnmd. Tihe results thus far hay<
ie-ti very satisfactory, and placer op
ertion's will be continued 'luring the
sumnu.er. T1he gelogi-cal formatlot
is remetidng simhair to that of the
Klo dike region. and it is though
po. biy that it m ay contain large
A Tip For the Young Hostess Who Would
Be Up to Date.
The young hostess who would be
up to (late should invite her friends
to a Chinese porch party. The decora
tions are easily managed-lighted Chi
nese lanterns.\ fans in profusion, Chi
nese bowls of flowers in little stands.
with the porch mats and bamboo
chairs, are enough. Cards, with the
figure of a Chinaman In a ebaracter
istic attitude, sketched in one corner,
and pencils are given to the guests,
who are told that each question asked
must be answered by some name or
expression often heard In connection
with China and the fighting there.
The loud report of a cannon cracker
is the signal for attention; and after
asking each question the hostess slow
ly unties from a bunch. lights, and
tosses out into the darkness a little
one, the explosion of which is a token
that time is up and another query
about to be put.
Fourteen questions and answers are
given here. but other and better ones
can easily be found.
1. What -two lettters are most pop.
iular in China? Tea and cue.
2. What is proof that the eyes of
the Mongolians are open at last? The
Yellow Sea.
3. Through wi.it? The open door.
4. When the Powers get hold of
the Empress Dowager what will they
catch? A Tarter.
5. If you're anxious to go to China
what will the Government do? Taku?
G. Tben what will you be in? Trans
7. What couldn't the Empress Dow.
ager govern? China Proper.
8. When the Empress makes the
Emperor cry what would he like to
do? Boxer.
9. What sort of a Great Wall are
the Powers likely to build In 1he Flow
ery Kingdom? A partition of China.
10. How is it to be expected that
the Chinese will take reverses and vic
tories? Cooly.
11. If the Chinese were Spaniards
what would they call the scories of
American heroism in China? Pig tails.
12. What .sort of fruit is generally
found green and always found rotten
In China? Mandarins.
13. What sort of an army ought to
reach Pekin the quickest? A Russian
14. There are Chinese politicians
that don't care for Eari Li, but who
would like what? Old Li Hung.
The explosion of a whole bunch of
crackers makes the close; and while
the cards are being looked over with
a view to finding the nost correct
answers, refreshments are served.
There must be tea, of course, even
though it is iced, and tbierTMuTiI b
something that can be eaten with chop
Whether the prize is a fan, or a jar,
or a bit of carved ivory, depends upon
the taste of the hostess-and also upon
her purse.-New York Sun.
T ways talk who never think.
Affection is the broadest basis of a
good life.-George Eliot.
Let honor be to us as strong an ob
ligation as necessity Is to others.
The greatest affliction that can befall
a man is the unkindliness of a friend.
A blessed companion is a book-a
book that, fitly chosen, is a lifelong
friend.-Douglas Jerroid.
One learns taciturnity best among
those who have none, and loquacity
among the taciturn.-Richter.
Assure yourself you have accom
plished no small feat if only you
have learned patience.-Goethe.
We ought not to judge of men's mer
its by their qualifications, but by the
use they make of them.-Charronl.
That is the best Government which
desires to make the people happy. and
knows how to make them happy.
It is the vain endeavor to make our
selves what we are not that has
strewn history with so many broken
purposes and lives left In the rough.
To commiserate is something more
than. to give, for money Is external to
a man's self. but he who bestows com
passion communicates his own soul.
King Humbert as a soldier.
An interesting description of the late
King Humnbert at the battle of Cus
tozza is given by Comte -, a
Frenchman, who was serving in the
Italian ranks:
"Out of the smoke a horseman came
dashing towards us, having cut his
way through tihe Austrian ranks, his
face fier-y red. a white handkerchief
tied rightly around his uncovered head.
his tunic wide open, every button
slashed away by the enemy's swords.
Once in c.omparative safety he was
for turning around and charging again.
and seemed furious when our officers
restrained him. It was only later I
learnedi that the fiery youth was the
heir to the Italian throne."
Autocratlo German Police.
The German police force has almost
jautocratic power, of which a curious
illustration has just been. reported.
The German courts have recently de
cided that if the Berlin police should
considler any color scheme of a house
to be improper or too gaudy, they can
order the owner to htave it repainted.
A lwrLaughing Plant.
A lwrknown as the laughing
plant, which grows in Arabia, is so
called because Its seeds produce ef
fects similar to those produced by
laughing gas. The flowers are ot a
bright yellow, while the seeds resem-~
ble sm al lacn k beans.
Without a nozzle for the hose,
He tried to wet the verdant lawn;
Ele placed his thumb upon the end,
And then he turned the water on.
A quart or two went up his sleeve,
A mighty stream went in his face
Some water reached the grass, but he
Was the wettest thing agout the place,
Collie-How much do you love her?
Fweddle-How do. I know? I don't
know yet how much she's wotth.
"Yes, sir; I put in months of hard
work forming that girl's mind.'
"Well?" "Then she-said she wouldn't
have me."
"I have a great admiration for Wig
wag," said Henpeckke. "I heard him
tell his wife right to her face that she
was mistaken."
He-I'm going to shave myself here
after. She-Won't you cut yourself?
"No; I won't have my razor sharp en
ough for that."
"Does it pain you to be.so tanned by
the sun?" asked the-sympathetic lady.
"Not half as much es ter be tanned by
the father," replied the bright boy.
Midget-I wonder how the Circas
sian girl ever got such long hair?
Giant-She says that when a child her
nurse told her a hair-raising ghost
"Oh. James, here's an account of a
hen who laid five eggs in one day."
"Well, maybe she was getting ahead
with her work so she could take a
"You don't seem to believe every.
thing you hear." said the optimist.
"No," answered the man with thesus
picious eye; "I was one of the late
census enumerators."
First Rabbit-That town boy has
been around here nearly a week and
never once tried to kill us. Second
Rabbit-Yes; te seems to be devoid of
all human attributes.
"Oh! Mr. Rubitout, are ybu a true
artist? Do you believe in art for art's
sakl; or do you paint your pictures to
sell?" "Well-er-I-accept money.
kut not much money."
Mr. Henpeck-I really believe our
sji Johii has been secretly married.
Mrs. Henpeck-Nonsense! Why do
you think so? Mr. Henpek-Ife's deo,
veloping into a regular woman-hater.
"I'll make you dance when I catch
you!" exclaimed a sorely tried er,
as she pufsued her errIs4of
,with a slipper. "If you 'o," rejoiced
the incorrigible youth, "1ou'ha'eto
tia be- bawl"
"You look sad.
"Yes," replied Lendit,
lost $10 about a year
should that worryyou & " ttan'
the $10, but ' becae
you' your memory.
Teacher-Now do you see the 4iffer-.
ence between animal instinct -and hu
man reason? Bright Boy-Yes'm. .If
we had instinct, we'd know everything
we needed to without learning it; but
we've got reason, and have to study
ourselves mos''blind or be a fool.
"What was the trouble at that house
where the complaint came from yes
terday?" asked the superintendent of
the gas company. "Nothing much."
replied the inspector, "I found a cen
Ipede in one of the pipes." "Ahm! an
extra 100 feet. See that they're
charged for that."
Professor Brown-I have a new sys- '
temn of mnemonics, and now I never
forget even what my wife asks me to
purchase for her down town; I just
jot it down in my little memorandum
'ook, and as soon as I see the first
word it all comes back to me. Student
--Yes, sir; but why have you got that
string tied around your finger? Pro
fessor-Oh. that's -to remind me to
look in the book!"
National M~sandetandings.
The prospect of understanding the
Chinaman and his Chinese puzzle is
not very promising. But it is not at T
strange. How few races of alien
lI-guages and trad'tions do compre
hi 'ach other. How flew care much
whe, er they do or not! They do not
waqt their own habits -of life or of 1
thought disturbed by the invasion of
other ways and modes. Their vis Iner
tia resists the task of change. It even
objects to changing its ideas of other
natonalities. It requires too much ex
ertion to think that the Englishman or
the Frenchman, the German or the -
Russian, as any Dther than what a,.
superfieial acquaintance has photo
graphed him.
It is doubtful if even the Englishman
that lives in the United States with
out becoming naturalized and so tak
ng a vital personal interest in the land-4
and its people, fully comprehends us,
and if the foreigner here does not
speak our language it Is through his
children in our schools, rather than
through his ownx intercourse, that he
becomes acquainted with the American
We are a nation of nearly 80,000,000,
scattered over 3,700,000 square miles.
The foreigner who , met only the
Loisianian would have a very differ
ent idea of the American from the for
eigner who met only the Vermont
yankee or the Kentucky mountaineer.
China has 400.000,000 people, with no
such means of intercourse as those
wich' network the United States. It
would be strange therefore if strangers
in that strange land could furnish the
world with very coherent and consist
ent descriptions of it.-Chicago Times
The imports of gold into France for
the paIst six months amounted to 177.
169,309 francs. The exports were
valued at 32,941,989 francs.

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