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The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, November 15, 1922, Image 7

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Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn93067760/1922-11-15/ed-1/seq-7/

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Death From Old Age Never in
Soheme of Things.
Man Really is the Only Animal That
\,Ja Coddled, Propped Up, and
Kept Alive.
Those wistful clingers to life who
cherish the ignoble ambition of dying
of old age, if they must die at all,
niy be shocked to hear that death
from old age is not a natural death.
There's a paradox that will bear the
light of reason, for it can easily bp
shown that ,such a death is quite re
lote from the normal operations of
Diane Nature when she is left to her
own devices, says a writer In the
Plhiladelphlia Inquirer.
Damne Nature would have made
short work of Uncle Johnny Shell,
lienLtucky's senility freak, who diel
the other day at the reputed age of
13-1, hud not the driveling old mnanl's
relatives and neighbors, to say nothing
of the rustle showmen who sometimes
exploitel himt as the "oldest man on
earth," conspired to protect 111111
the iorimmal accidents of injury or
starvation that otherwise overtake the
worn-out individuals of anly species.
No* creature is permitted by Dame
Nature to "lag 'superfluous on the
stage" until. overtaken by the dissb
lutioni of absolute senility. Wild -ai
innis don't live to die of old age. They
don't linger- along ta doddering do
pendents, like the Kentucky Methu
The superannuated elephant or buf
falo Isn't supported or tended by tile
herd. It retires gracefully to p soll
tary state of existence and in itains
itself as well as it can with its falling
facul ties ili i It starves to death,
stumImbles over a cliff or is overcome by
WNhatever the end many be, it conies
pretIy quickly and is considered by
somet far more merciful thaii the pro
tracted life that Uncle Johnny Shell
(ragged out for so many years. The
elderly tiger, no longer spry enough to
catch the nimble antelope, becUmes a
ilman-eater and Iponchies babies on the
outskirts of sonie village. Thed some
body gets up a tiger hunt, and 'n ex
plosive bullet saves it from the unnat
ural disgrace of dying of old age.
Who ever found a senile or en
febled rabbit, robin, wolf, bear, trout,
eagl-, wren, hhtck bass or niinoW?
Why, Dame Nature wouldn't dream of
allowing her nice, clean cosmos to be
cllut-tered up. She cleans house with a
broom of accidents.
Even the peaceful tree is not al
lowed to culiber the earth beyond the
period of its ability to withstand the
normal stress of the elements. It may
he a California sequoia over .3,000
years old or di Cape do Verde baobab
ove- 5,0o years old, and it may have
pass( its period rof growth and en,
tereC( its perit-od of decay. but it will
not he allowed to (lie of old age. Soie
storm will bring it down in its glory.
I The untidy business of living to (lie
of old age is a fad of civilized man.
Its (leplorable products are often seen
in almashotiscs. Also civilized man has
inflicted the curse upon his dlomestic
pets to a certain extent, so that senilq
and enfeebled dogs and cats age kept
afve b~y sentimentalists long after out
ragedl common sense would have called
for chloroform.
The tradition of 'Uncle Johnny's exn
treme age is not supported b~y ani of
tIcial records. A scientifle investiga'tor
who sought to ferret out the facts
found that lie couild not honestly de
duce any greater ago for Uncle Johnny
than a hundred years or thereabouts.
* Local tradition always exaggerates
the age of a very old person, as in the
,case of old Parr, whose bones crmsble
in WVestminster abbey, and whohe
fame wvas emabahped in ahbook entitled
"The Olde, Olde, Very Ohdo Mah." Old
Parr was a Shropshiire peasant who
was reputed to be 152 years old whmen
taken to London b~y the earl of Arundel
and( preseiited at court.
Hie died the samie year-1685. Dr.
WVilliamr Iarvey, who discovered the
circulation of the blood, perforpied an
autopsy andl fomrtgd the body ini excel~
hent condition. . He thought (death had
beeni caused by the change from sinm
lhe coantry fare to tihe rich diet of
London hI$ life. On Old Parr's tomnh
are recol'ied t'he names of ten' mon
archs, from Edlwardl IV to Charles I,
.under whom he lived.- hut later hl
torieal -Investlgationi threw a strong
do~ubt onl .theoengthi attribinted to hIs
Veteran DenIes He Is Dead.
A certain veteran of the World war
has a hard job oil Is hands.
lie recently wrote to the' Veferplns'
bureau, making an appeal for comipen
"You are dead," replied the ofliat
communication drom , the bureau. Of
cou~rse, It *as not worlded exactly that
wvay, but that was time entire drift of
the letter'.
So the pmani has appieaedh -to the Ited
Cr0ss to tell the bureau that he Is very
much alive.
"I am not dead.Rt all," the veteran
continues..4o s'sert in letters to. the
M'ou are- dead?" robuliet the bureau.
Pepo 1S sa that yo9 are int rested
9n sadte of th0 lef tduistries mnen*Iohed
Itduntrue," orelskned lienatol
Sorghutm, "What 1 am' trylig tbkeell
from my constituentsl is the $eit~that
I am absolutely uinterested'aind h~oi
In its Place Has Come the Modernt
Steam-Heated Bdildingp and
Many Teachere.
The little red schoolhouse Is pass
ing. In its place is springing up a
pretentious handsome affair of stone,
brick or stucco, with two or more
rooms, with modern equipment, a )i
brary, and an advanced curriculum for
-tihe education of boys and girls of the
farming districts.
There are still, of course, many of
the old one-roonj school house&,- of
frame construction, shabby and for
saken-appearing standing, in the coun
try, but the consolidated school plan,
and the rapid settling of farm lands
in this section particularly, has
marked -the doom of the old-time in
No more does a sheep's-tail,''split
and fastened, wool out, on a block of
wood serve as an eraser for bumpy
blakboards in these schools; no more
do a tattered dictionary and a few
outdated text books constitute the "l
Standard school equipment, coming
up to regulations set by the state, Is
to be found in practically all of the
rural schools in any but remote dis
tricts today.
A marked contrast can be seen be
tween representative schools gf today
in the country and those of a genera
tion ago.
Then the boys carried stove-wood
from the outdoors and corded it along
the walls of the room, to feed the box
stove in winter; today a hot-air or
steam furnace, fueled with -coal, pro
vides heat In the modern district
Then a tin wash-basin in a cor
ner, provided a place to wash at noon,
or to thaw out froht-bitten fingers; tow
day a pressure water system or ar
tesian well empties into a modern lay
Then there was one-teacher for all
grades from primary to eighth. To
day schools are graded, with separate
rooms and individual teachers in many
eouittry districts.
Then the subjects offeredwere read
ing, writing and arithmetic, with a
few added such as geography and some
history, Now the boy or girl may
study agriculture, domestic science,
manual training and other supplemen.
tary courses.
Truly, times have changed for the
farm schoolboy since the end of the
last century.
Beautiful St. Helena.
Napoleon Bonaparte drew public at
tention to a hitherto little-known Is
tmd in miid-Atiantic, almost opposite
the southern extremity of the Portu
guese settlement of Angola, next door
to what used to be German Southwest
Africa. Few of the general public of
that day knew of Fi1ba, not far fron
Leghorn, where the French emperoi
was first sequestered; and when, after
Waterloo, he went to St. Helena peo
ple looked in vain upon most of the
maps for that troplal dot, with an
area of only 47 square miles and with
but few Inhabitants.
After the Boer war the English
s4urned to St. Helena as a safe spot to
send Boer risoners of war, and so
many thiu ands were transported
there that the inhabitants of James
town-the only tOwn then on the island
-became suddenly enriched, for Brit
ioh soldiers and sailors brought money
and their prisoners were rarely pool
Ne'xt to the Red sea ports along thn
African coast, St. Hlelena probably en
tertains In its waters the greatest ag
gregation of sharks ip the world, bul
the Beer prisoners discovered tha'
,these sharks always slept when the
sun .reached the meridian ; and mani
of these. prisoners were rescued bI
their' friends, who brought small ves
sels, apparently laden with provender
hut steamed rapidly away when theil
confederates had swum h few- yardi
from beneath the towering cliffs t(
thme awaiting boat.
Standard Time Zones.
The United States standard ejtster,
tabne zone Is from the Atlantic oceal
to a line through Sandusky adid Mamn
fleid1, andl between Columbus ani
'Aanesville, 0.; thence through Huni
ington, W. Va.; Norton, Va.; Johnsoj
-City, TIenn.; Asheville, N. C,; Atlanti
and Macon, Ga., anid Apalachicole1
Standard central aone is from thi
first line to a line through Mander
N. D).;. Pierre, 5. ,D.; McCook, Neb.
'Dodge City, Kan., end along the west
ern boundary of Oklahoma and Texau
Standard mountain zone is tfr'oz
the seednd line to a line that foran
the western boqunda-y of Montana, ain
thence pamsses through .Pocatelk~
Idlah~o; Ogden ' and Salt Lake ditj
Utah; Parker and. Yuma, Aris.
Pricking the bubble.
"Deacon Summers seems to hmav,
lost considerabib prestigdj in you
cimrc~h circles si'nce he permitted jini
self to b'e dIrawn into that. rough-and
tiumble bar-room- fight the othe
night,' observed atm Eastern visitor t
"I sh'd say he has,"~ replied nlativ
disgustedly.' PTh' hull con~regatio1
figgered him a rightsight handier wit
a drarzor than what' hp tlWned out t
be,"'-Amierican Legion Weekly,
I .,. mit toHsApele
Bobbie had dinner wit his myc1
one evening, Wvho ga&ve llna gele
ous helping of. everything,
At the close of the meal he wig
asked why he had not eaten his dem
sert, -wheyeupon he6 ieplielh d*Ott -
tant,'ctise my appett de~ thot
mach tonight."
Mortgage Burned In New York Theatre.
New York, Nov. 11.-Nhile adveral
thousand ipersons, who -packed the
Palace theater tonight, looked on, Su
preme Court Justice McCook burned a
copy ol the $3,000 mortgage on the
Kentucky home of 'Sergt. Samuel
Woodfill, designated by Gen. John J.
Pershing as the outstanding hero of
the World war.
The mortgage has biden lifted by
popular subscription; 'which totalled
more than $10,000. After 'paying off
the mortgage, a $5,000 insurance poli
cy and a trust fund for the remainder
of the amount was created.
Flanked on every side by dignitaries
of the army and navy, Sergeant Wood
fill -listened to the reading of the ci
tation -which gave him nation-wide dis
tinction. He vms then presented with
the 'paid-up insurance policy and
documents ivertaining to the trust
Engraved Invitations and Cards
Advertiser Printing Company
We are evel
our store, ai
iow as relial
New Arrival in
Including Whip Cords. 'pC
new Suits. They sell alm1os
Young 'Mmln's Suits
Youn; Me
Style-Plus Overcoats in Y
Other good nuntbers at .
Boys' 2
This is the niow thing in B
alwvaysi wear out tw~o pir
suits at ... . .. .
Boys' One-P-ant -Suith..
New Arrival
Wehave just the shirt you
the regular prices .
Ilen 's Sp~ort Hats, light wei
Other good numbers ....
One lot Boys' $1.50 Nov'elt.;
Shecial Barga
15Overcoats, mostly light
are some1 odd lot coats,.
$15.00 to $20.00 ; as longi
The cold weather is-tei
need,'and at most attractiv<
All Wool Plaid Blankets .
Wool Plaid Blankets ....
Wool-Cotton Mixed -Blankel
Cotton Blankets .... ....
The policy, of
lowest po si1
Compare our
ironor Roll--Fleming Sekool
Ninth Grade-Annie Belle Tumblin,
Ruth Rhodes.
-Sevent Grade--4Hunter Robertson,
Frances Tumblin, (ildred Cooper.
Fifth Gradc-E thel Rhodes, Telpiia
Fourth Grade-Mary Tumblin.
Third Grade-Fleming Powqrs,
Nivia Oiens.
Second Grade-Janes Brownlee.
First Grade-'thuth Sumerel, Allen
Powers, Alvin fiazel, 'Mart Lou
Rhodes, Ra~inond Robertson.
Orove's Tasteless chill Tonic restores
Eiergy and Vitality by Purifying and
Enriching the Blood. When you feel Its
strengthening, invigorating effect, see how
it brings color to the chelks and how
it improves the appetite, you will then
appreciate its true tonic value.
Grove's Tasteless chill Tonic Is simply
Iron and Quinine suspended in syrup. So
pleasant even children like It. The blood
needs~QUININE to Purify it and IRON to
Enrich it. Destroys Malarial germs and
Grip germs by its Strengthening, Invigor
ating Effect. 60c.
inter C
1 Depar
r on the alert tc
ld are also sure
le goods can b
Young Men's Suits
>rt f(Models and fancies. See these,
t ats fast as 8we enni get theimi.
.......$19.98, $25.00 and $30.00
n's Overcoats
"ung Men 's Models $25.00. $30.00
...........$19.98 andi~ $22.50
Pants Suit
ays' Clothing. Onie coat will
s of pants. 'See these 2-pants
.. .. ....$10.00, $12.50 and $13.98
. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .$4.98 andI up
in Men's .Shirts,
need in novelty p~atterns,. at
.. .. .. .. .. ..$1.50, $2.00, $2.50
i's Hats'
ght. in grey andl brown . . . . $3.00
.... .... .... ....$4.00 andt $5.00
sins in Overcoats
colors, sites 34 to 40. These
(cari'ied over, former priic~e
ts they last... ..... .... ..$5.98
'e. We have just the 'Blanket you
. .. .. . .... ....$9.50 and $.75
..... .... .... .... .... ..$1.49
this store is to sell
>1e price. .On this
prices before buyir
Eichelberger Bros.
Phone 33
ompany s.
tment- Store
keep new goods coming to
to have prices that are as
e sold.
Phoenix Hosiery
We have rcently received the laigest shipment of this
ra-mous hose we have been able to seiure in some time. We
c-an always sells more of this hos' iry than we are able to get.
If you are not a Phoenix .iustomer. .inst t try ol(% pair. We re(
omniend this hosiery.
Ladies' Silk Hose ..............$1.20, $1.50, $1.95, $2.50
Ladies' Wool Hose .... .... .... .... ... $1.35 and $1.95
Ladies' Usle Hose -.. . .--- .... .... .... .... .... 50c
Men'I ... .... .... .... .... . 75c and $1.00
Millinery Department
We are receiving new styles in Fall Hats.
"cc our1' special table, values up to $10.00, at .... ....$5.95
New Fall Coats
We have received recently a good shipment of tIle new styles
im handsomc Coats, which are specially priced alt $24.75,
$35.00 to -... ..-. .... .... .... .... .... .... $50.00
Shoe Values
Men's Blaek Kid whole <iarter Blucher, leather lined,
half double oak sole, grain leather innersole, rubbe r
heel, wide last. A splendid shoe' for a m1an1 who wants
comfort as well as service .... .... .... .... ..$5.00
Young Men's Brown French Grain Cal I! Bal, 'brogue pat
tern, harness thread stitched, medium weight, oak sole,
grain leather innersole. One of our big sellers, special $5.00
Young Men's Russia Bal, English last, inedium weight
oak sole, rbber heel, genuine Goodyear welt, special $4.00
Boys' Brown Grain Calf Bal, brogue pattern, perforated
tip, medium wei'ght oak sole, grain leather innersole,
leather count'e rubber heel, genuine Goodyear welt.
A stylish shoe that will give excellent service, special $3.50
Little Men and Girls. For comfort, style and service they
are hard to 'beat. Ask to see te.
the very beat merchandise at the
basis we solicit your patronage.

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