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A Family Companion, Devoted to Literature, Miscellany, News, Agriculture, Markets, &c. . xx. NEWBERRY, S. C., -THURSDAY, AUGUST 28,1884. No.35. THlE HIERULD AND NEWS, IS PUBLIAlHED EVERY THURSDAY MORNING At Newberry, S. C. BY * THOSI F. GRENEKER, r4IE)ITOR AND PROPRIETOR. TERMS- 2,00 PER ANNUM. Invariably in Advance. WTCHES AND JEVELM At the New Store on Hotel Lot. I have now on band a large and elegen sortment of WATCHES, CLOCKS, JEWELRY Silver and Plated Ware, lIOLIN .NND GUITAR STRINGS, SPECTACLES AND SPECTACLE CASES WEDDINB AND BIRTHDAY PRESENTS. 1 NtDLasS YARKYT. All orders by mail promptly attended to. Watchmaking and Repairing lsonr Cheaply sud with Dispatch. Call and examine my stock and prices. EDUARD SCHOLTZ. \"m. 21, 4'7--"tf' SEND ?OR PRICE LIST. McE LR EE'S Jewelry PALACE 224 KING ST. CHARLESTON, S C. LA. GEST STOCK. LOW2ST PRICES IN THE SOUTH. EEP URING A SPECIALTY. SEND ME YOUR WATCHES. Nov 15-1y. Done at tlhis Ofice. At Low Prices for Cash. Liver, Kidney or Stemac Trouble. Svmpt oms: Impure blood. costive bowels, irregular appetite, sour belching, pains in bile, back an,d heart, yellow urine, burn ing when urinating, clay-colored atools. ba.1 breath. no desire for work, chills. fever irritabiity, whiti,h tnngie, dry cough, dizzy heed, with dull rain in back pirt. :9 o' mentory. fosgy sight. For these lrouble' *SVAT NE'.4 PIL .L." are a sure cure. Box. (:5 Pill-). by mnail. 25 cts.. 5 for $1.00. Ald. dlre++. I). -%W AYNE & SON, Philada.. Pa. Sold by Drue-gts. Jas. S4-ly. WXOMAN DRs J. BRADFIELD'S FEMALE REGUA'TOR Tars famous remedy most happily meets tae de mand of the age for woman's peculiar and multiform smictlons. It I-, a remedy for WOMAN ONLY, and for ONE SPECIL LCLASS of her dseases. It is a .' peci for certain diseased conditions of the womb, and proposes to so control theo Menstrual Function as to regulate all the derangemcns and irregalarities of Woman's MONTHLY SICKNESS. I8s proprietor claims fur it no other medical property; and to doubt the fact that this medicine does posi tively possess such controlling and regulating powers le simply to discred.it the voluntary testimony of thousands of liing witnesses who are to-day exult ingintheir restoration to soud health and happiness. EA'DFIBLWFE AE BEULTO Is strictly avegetable compo:nd, and is the product of medical science and practical experience directed towards the bene5.t of SUfFFERING WOMAN I It is the studied prescriptioner a learned physicsan whose specialty was WOMAN, and whose fame be e ames enviable and boundless because of his wonder ful snessa in the treatment and cure of fsemalecom plalnts. TEE REGULATOR is the GRANDES'I REMEDY known, and richly deserves its name: WOMAN'S BEST FRIEND, Because It controla a class of functions the various derangements of which cause more Ill health thai all other causes combined, and thus rescues her frov along train of aflctions wh!ch sorely embitter hel life, and prematurely end her existence. Oh! what aumultituds of living wit naess can tes Lify to its charming effects'. WO3fAN! ilake to your conidne this PRECIOUS BOON OF HEALTH! It will relieve yon of nearly all the complaints pece liar to your sexl Bely upon It as ycur safeguiard fa health, happinesand Iong li. Price.-Small size, '1 cents; large sise, $1.0 0''-Sold by all Druggists. Prepared only by DR. J. BRADFIELD. No, 108 South Fryor Street, Atlanta, Ga. COSUPTO BREER O O - LUNG newsp(.: the CHRaOSW? gouth. ltl? smaa hem Ct NTB ACTORS -AND BUJILI)ERS. --AND-1 Lumber Mill Mena aiIle undcr-ignted respeetfully inform A j the citizens of Newbhrry. antd the TI surrounding (ounties that. having loca ted at Helen:. they are prepared to con tract for. au-l build. Churches. Dwell ings and other Buildings,: We guaran- A tee satisfaction both in the quality of ' our work and in the prices charged for A it. Having an excellent saw Will we are also prepared. at short notice, to "1 saw and dress lumber. Orders solicited. B, SHOCKLEY BROS. Y; March 14 A BI TRADE MARK REGISTERED. 1 S D' A L: a. i I . . 1,r B A New Treatment w For Conzumlpiion. Asthmha. Bron- M chiti,z. Dvspepsia, Catarrh, lleadache. Debility. Iheumatism, Nenralgia, and . all Chronic and Nervous Disorders. A CARD. TI TI we. the undersigned. having received great At and permanent henetit from the use of "COM POUND OXYGEN." prepared and administered by Das. ST.AtKEY & PALEN. of Philadelphia, I'a and being satistled that it is a new discovery In medical science. and all that is claimed for it. W consider it a duty which we owe to the many I i thousands who are suffering from chronic and if so-called "incurable" diseases to do all that we can to make its virtues known anti to inspire the BI public with confidence. We have personal knowledge of Drs. Starkey A: A Palen They are educated, Intelligent. and conscientious physicians, who will not, we are Se sure. make any statement which they do not D know or believe to be true. nor publish any tes timonials or reports of cases which are not gen uine. W. D. KELt.EY. Member of Congress from Philadelphia. T. S. AHTH UR. Editor and Publisher "Arthur's IIome Magazine," Philadelphia. = V. L. Conrad. Editor *-Lutheran Observer." Philadel phia. PHILADELPHIA. PA., June 1. 18?. In order to meeta natural inquiry in regard to our proless:on:'l and personal standing. and to give increased confidence in our statements and a: the genuinen.ss of our testimonals and reports of cases. we print the 'bove card from gentle- a< men well and widely known and of the highest is personal character. Our "Treatise on Compound Oxygen." containing a history of the discovery Ii of and mode ol action of this remarkable cura- y tive agent. and a large record of surprising cures in Consumption. Catarrh. Neuralgia. Bron. ti ehitis. Asthma. etc.. a I a wide range of chronic , diseases, will be sent t.ae. n Address Dr .i ARKEY 4 PA LEN, F 1109 and 1111 Giraid Street, Philadel- E phis.. Pa'tr "THE GENUINE STILL AHEAD." f IN We desire to again axtend an invita- t< tion to the la EAEERS t and all others in need of a first-class st Sewing Machine " si to ca:ll at our oflice. No. 5. Crotwell LI Building, aund inspect our mnachainIes. antd Si samlet of~ woark donei apomn samin yo vur n pre.3ence. From the tuest fabric to the heaviest baviier cloth or leat her. Th'ere~ imust he some good reasoin why f Three Quarters of the machaines sol :are s: Genuine Singer Machines.* Bmiy one youirself and flid out. Every 'I machbine wvarrantred. $rold for cash or w easy paayments. 2.000 Offices in the Unmi ted St it es. P'ar:s. Oils and Needles for The Singer :an 1 all oither machines on hand and for C The Singer M'f'g Co., ti E. CABANISS, p Manager. i ti PIANOS, Grand Uprght nd Suare The uperorit of he -STIEF" e a I Gvrad, Ameright and Sqy ure.n ''euprorvaty at the" IEF e byte ihetPuiarl auhoite78ad. He eae f theEdement a f oeadry n 1r0sin difet olleges.Semnareesmand THighaeseret inHonondrk Oealm ersicanad Elean Euon Appearnc.17S A itr:e tassorment of erdbn P1an0 lwaysli olleged. .eiaie n Generl astWherl DAbiityfr. Bardett, Palace, Stin g,onew Eng- W k glan,i and lean Wite i:aNoS andvay oGnS sld .nES N ?li.S STALLIENTS. ia.staken in Exchange, also thor o .ghly repaired(. ig'Send for illustrated Piano or Or gan Catalogne. Chas. M. Stieff, No. O. NoRT11 LIBERTY-STREET, BALTlIMORE, MD. F. Werher, Jr.. Agenlt, NewbhrrT. A pell 97 gamblers have. Numbers of foolish girls and gilded dies were led on the downward path to ruin at Ar mnory Hall, but all of the crime, profanity and sin that were ever engendered there, would not equal the ruin wrought in Wall street in a single day. Mr. Dickinson goes into exile after a long .nd honora ble life, branded as a t'iief, and the men who got the money flaunt their ill-gotten riches at Newport, Sara toga and Long Branch. The latest news is that Billy Mc Glory after his release experienced a change of heart, and was going to open a Mission like Jerry McAu ley's, where the Magdalene and the tramp might be brought to a sense of their lost condition. But just as the goody goodies got ready to give Billy a welcome and reception, Billy went off on a tear with the boys. He set up the champagne for the crowd, got as tight as bricks, and the conclusion is forced upon us that the day of his salvation is yet far off. One of Her Majesty's Own got laid by the heels here last week, and had a novLl and unpleasant ex perience in our great and noble country. He left England on a three month's furlough, intending to 'unt 'Hindians and buffaloes. He: had scarcely landed in. New York-when he started out to see the Elephant. He saw Jumbo, and though he started out a well dress. ed gentlemen, with a fine watch and a couple of hundred dollars in his pocket, yet he landed at twelve o'clock at night in the vicinity of 1'ive Points, not only miuns his valuables but also minus his clothes. When the policeman lugged him off to limbo, he looked like the worst kind of a tramp. He wandered about the town for three days till he was almost starved to death. At last he found his way to Castle Garden where he made his story known. It is probable that Lieu tenant Campbell of Her Majesty's Own will in a few days be floating on an even keel, but he won't for get his experience among the blarsted Yaikees in a hurry. le may not carry back many Indian scalps or buffalo horns, but he wilt have a heap of valuable experience which will prove of much practic.l service when he goes hinting in foreign lands. Philanthrophy takes queer freaks. Almost every week in the winter time you will see some member of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children make a raid on the little children engagad in a rustic dance or singing in a fairy chorus in the theaters. All of there children are well fel, well clad, well housed and well cared for, and bett.r paid for what they do and are injured by it less than any other children who have to earn their living on this planet.. Yet the Soci, ty drags them off from their occupation and dooms them to idleness andl consequent poverty. Yet around all the docks, ferries and steamboat landings little rag ged half-starved girls swarm selling papers or whatever they can find to sell; there are t::ousands of these,. varying from eight to fourteen or fifteen years of ate; they are many of them little hom~eless waifs or t:.e children of dIrunken parents; they are constandly associated with the mot vicious class of ruffian hood lums, but the Society for the Pre vention of Cruelty to Children nev er stretches out a hand to save them. One of the healthful signs of the times is tha:t the intolerable nui sance, the Salvation Army, is grad ually dwindling away in New York & Brooklyn. A few months ago their street parades were forty and fifty strong. One digbt last week I met a hallelujah company on the street, and there were only six all told. The two Salvat.ou lasses who were beating tambourines looked more like street tramps than gospel dis pensers, while every one of the males looked like hopeful candida tes for the penitentiary. Why it is that this nuisance has been tolerat-' ed is a mystery. Every time they appear upon the streets they attract a crowd of gaping ruffians and cre ate a riot. Let us hope that the end of the Salvation Army, with its disgraceful mummery, will soon be among the things of the past. If any one imagines that Gover nor St. John is going to ride into the White House on a Prohibition car, he would be quickly disabused of that idea if he could have seen the parade of the Liquor Dealers' and Brewers' Associations in Brooklyn, the City of Churches, on Thursday, August 14th. The pro cession was fully two miles long. and the horses alone, exclusive of the wagons they drove, and the costly freight of beer, ale, gin, rum, brandy, &c., &c., were worth over a quarter of a zmillion of dollars. All tbe liquors beneath the sun were represented, from the vodkl of the Russian to the sacki of the Chinese. Water found no place in the entertainment except as a med im for washing out their beer vats and a basis for the beer. In its original corrupt state, ftill ot mi erobes and - other pestilential ani tie antidb Iut~tObetbl tionist would think of endangering his life. You have 'no idea bow afraid they are of microbes, and if the microbe only waits' till he gets into some of these anti-prohibition stomachs in a drink of-cold water, he will be starved to; eath. This is all very well for the ~ium drink ers, but it is mighty h'ard on the microbes. Since the shaking up that we re-1 ceived from the friendly earthquake, fats in the fifteenth and sixteenth stories of our modern houses have been at a discount. A female1 friend of rMine, who only lives in the eleventh story. says she felt as if she had been shaken on the top of a bean-pole. Now while this ex perience is novel, it is not pleasant, especially when examined from the roof of a fourteen-story house. The < idea of going to bed at night al most in companionship with the stars and waking up in the morning I to find yourself landed in the cellar is full of the most unpleasant pos sibilities. Another womaa has entered suit i for a damaged husband; he is very j badly damaged; a wealthy widow ran off with him. The original I owner of the property wants the i worth of the goods, when they were in first-class condition. The in- < jured wife wants $20,000; the unin Jured widow says he is not worth 1 20,000 cents. There certainly is a 1 wide difference as to his value. Let 1 the courts decide between them. I Election matters are hot, hotter, hottest, with a chance of them be- 4 coming hotter yet. Yours truly, BROADBRIM. 4 OUR LOUINVILLE LETTER. I WEATHER, BASE BALL AND IN DIANS, AS SEEN IN THE FALLS CITY. [From our Spocial Correspondent.] In accordance with my general promise to glean for you some mat. ters that might keep your readers cool during the heat of summer and of politics, I begin with the city of Louisville, which resembles New York in the fact that it is never dull nor stagnant, and later in the season, say November, I will possi bly try New Orleans. Having lived so long in the Atlantic ports. where a sea breeze can always be depend ed upon, I find a Kentucky July a little trying. This, however, is the hot month, and the torrid conditions usually abate by the first of August. J Directly opposite where I am writ ing is the place known as Corn Island in the old surveys, where on the 27th of May, 1778, General George Rogers Clarke, heading an expedition of one hundred and fif;y volunteers, landed his fiat-boats on the first island below Beargrass Creek, and left the twenty families that accompanied him, while his fighting men went on against the Indians of the Illinois territory. But the soil of the island went away when the roots of the +.rees and canes ceased to bind it together, and where a cycamore tree ten feet in diameter was once cut, and where pioneer anglers cut canes for fishing-rods fifteen and twenty feet, in length, there is now only a shoal of rocks, bare at low water, and very bare just now that the river is so low. Like some of the people who love the fine old Bourbon product of this State, the river, after getting "on a high old bender"~ in February last that surpassed all former efforts, has been inclined to be low-spirited and down in the mouth ever since. Will S. Hayes, the wit and poet of the falls, predicts that the tadpoles will soon be hard to see from the dust in the river, while another as serts that it is about to get "entire ly out of bed," from the resemblance of the same to th"se of boarding houses, while a third thinks that some autocrat voice has said to the late flooded stream "Oh, you dry up" which commaud there is a dis tressing prospect that it will obey. There have been good showers, but none to do so much good as the water-carts. The population who a little time ago sang "Shan't we, my love, and shanted," have mostly been washed out by the all-cleansing flood or moved out before the march of im provement, and as there is now no more healthy city than this, there will soon be none more safe. The diphtheria and low summer fevers that were once considered inevita ble have so entirely ceased that doctors are about the only absolute paupers in this comfortable land of plenty. There Is, however, an epidemic of some prevalence, and I do not now speak of the base-bawl of the news paper vendor beneath my windows but of the base ball clubs for which this city is deservedly famous. In boating races the strain of the fnal spurt for victory is often the beginning of a chest disease and an early grav e for the champion oars man, and In foot races the list of swift-footed mercuries "gone stale," as they say of one bro'ken down for life, is larger than any save the ini tIatel knmow. But solfar as I know, a base ball expert has al1 the oanoad af a Ieans man fat a goed "I CANNA BE FASHED." -:o: lien I was a little lass. just sixteen, 'innie was I, but proud as a queen; roud and saucy. and hard to please, ud wou(terfu' fond o' taking my ease. )lks diona inind then-for I w,s young ie "canna ;se fashed" that was eye en my tongue. couldna be lashed" wi' my books at the school, ud now I am old, I am only a fool; couldns be fashed" wi' the dairy and house, ad now I'm as poor as any kirk mouse; ad when mither spak o uty needle and thread, couldnas be fashed" was aye what I said. it spite o' my laziness, spite o' my pride, )ung Elliott, the pride o' the country side, im seeking ray love; and oft for bis sake wheen o' fair pronises I would make; it when the time came the gude purpese was dashed i' just the auld sang: "I canna be lashed." couldna be faslted." if he wanted to walk; coulina be fashed," if he wanted to talt; ,hought it was fline sae indifferent to be ilks mustna be sure o' the getting o' me; ad thus a' his hopes and his pleasures were dashed ith thae wearisome words: "I canna be fashed." it I said them too often. One hot summer day, hen the folks were a' busy in "saving the hay," y lover said: "Lassie, lets help them awhile." canna be fashed," I said. wi' a smile 1, lassie, dear lassie, thae words gie me pain;" id I looked in his face and said them again. ien he put on his hat, took the over-hill tract, ad from that day to this he has never come back. ,o had "fashes" enon sice thae happy days, ' losses and crosses and wearifu' ways; night hae been weel and happily wed I'd Jkeepit a kind eevil tongue In my head; it "I couldna be fashed" wi' others, you see, id fortune and friends ceased "lashing" wi' me. e, lasses, tak tent from the tale I has told; ntna wait to be eevil until you grow old. [Harper's Weekly. OittUnco5. ,ROADBRItl'S NEW YORKE LETTER. Where is it going to stop? I ;ked this question several weeks ro when Morgan's Sons succumbed financial collapse. Not so un. kely a failure had occurred for ears-and it really seemed as if is was the culmination of our fi incial disasters which began with erdinand Ward. We have almost gun to forget that this notorious scal is still in Ludlow Street Jail. the whirl of our daily life in ew York we have no time to think anything very long. Even the irthquake was only a sensation r an hour ; people rushed to their indows and looked out; Trinity's wer stood erect and perpendicu .r ; the great Bridge bad not slip ,d from its moorings; even the 6ll spire from which the new philo. )pher of the Tribune looks down on a naughty world was as raight as an arrow pointing to le sky ;-so they ran back to their up; and except *by comparing tes of their sensations, the shak g up that we received was soon rgotten. But to return; I was ying that we were just being lull into sweet forgetfulness when ay goes tile W all Street Bank. he cause is not dissimilar to one ich occurred about ten years ago, hen the cashier of one of the Wall tret bauks swept away the entire pital. Hie was an exceedingly ic young man, and as an evidence fhis nicety he parted his hair in te middle. Tile directors of this articular bank had so much con ence in this very nice young man tat they would not insult him by >oking over his accounts; but one trning these sleepy old gentle ten woke up and the capital of the tire bank was gone, and the nice oung man was gone too, but they utaaht the nice young man in Can da, and he was not so fortunate as no, for they brought him back and ent him to States Prison, from !hich he was released a few months The Wall Street Bank was just ich another case. It had been in zistence in one shape and anoth' r nearly fifty years, and if not tile aunchest, was at least one of the Idest banks in tite city. Mr. Dick ason, the thieving cashier, was the on in-law of one of he principal tockholders, and himself a member Lf a very wealthy and influential amily. His stealings have extend d over a period of several years, nd will amount in the aggregate to taif a million of dollars. The :nowledge of this defalcation has aused dismay to many important ouses, and will undoubt2dly bring nancial ruin to some. We are told, when we inquire, hat it has been lost in stock gam-. ding, and the stock gambling house rhere this stolen money was lost is ne of the principal features of ,Vall street. It is true it stands on broad street, but in financial tech iicality it is all WVall street. Of he millions lost to this country in he past few years, the great body if it has been lost among the gam-. >lers of WVall street, in thle New (ork Stock Exchange. The New York World thought he release of Billy McGlory a fit ubject for one of its abowinable artoons, but Bil'y McGlory. infa nus as he was, has never inflicted tithe of the misery and ruin on , talaig theat thean Wall Simet old age. Louisville has met citj after city in this season, usually t< keep her laurels safe if not green and a great excursion to Cincinnat to receive the same courtesy re cently extended to the young man hood of Porkopolis is now makin= all of the boys wild. 'Ibke chief ob jection so far made tothis manl3 sport is, that young men have n< entire day in many cases save Sab bath, and closing stores at 3 p. m. )f Saturdays does not give time foi % grand battle of skill. I hope the ime will come when by a mutual inderstanding business will be done n five days and a mid-week holiday ;uch as is so common in Europe inder sanction of the church, will )e universal. Just as much can be old in five days as in six, and :ounting the increased power of zealth over a wearied body, just as nuch can be produced. This is he only way I see to prevent the sunday-school boys having to de ide between big muscles and re igion, with a majority of about ten housand in this city, for fresh air tnd the game. The sermons against abbath breaking, of which I have eard several, do no good, as they ire only listened to by the old men ad women and girls. A less epi lemic is that of Dr. Carver's open ir show and its results. It is pain ul to think of the number of boys who will try to ride old cows or )ull calves as he and his men do be very tame "wild buffalo," of the lear little babies that will get their iyes shot out by the bow-and-arrow )ractice in emulation. of his noble [ndians, who were all present when ,uster died-that is, they were on his continent-and if his exhibi ,ions of really wonderful skill do -evive the love for that noble Amer can weapon, the rifle, some good will be done. This leads me to say that in my icquaintance with persons pretty nuch all over the Union. I find a nisapprehension of the chief event >f the Ohio River Valley for 1884 >y which I mean the great Exposi .ion to be held as said in this city. Che fact of what is intended to be in International Cotton Fair in vew Orleans about December, is mupposed to conflict with and ren ler local and incomplete the event )f the upper river and the more niddle ground. This is all a mis ake, and a very bad one for those tates to make that need emigrants, ,apital and the development of their ndustries and productions. It is ust as bad a mistake for any one o make who has a picture or a natua, a machine or an invention, . coal mine or a gold mine or s ;rack of timbered land to be sold, In the first place there is no rivalry )f intention. The Louisville Expo ition positively limits its time to ,wo mouths and some ten days, his is a matter of courtesy to the New Orleans World's Fair, for while the two are not the same thern W an entire underst1anding. This aourtesy costs Louisville a sacrifice The Exposition of 1883, held foi ane hundred days, and the profiti were on the last month. So it would be again, for no newspape' advertising dies one half the good that is done by the delighted visitor saying as each one did to every neighbor, '-I had no idea it was hal what it is. I like it better than th4 Philadelphia Centennial of 1876 You will be sorry for it all your lit if you don't go right over and set it" This tongue advertising takes a hundred days to get well going and the management of 1884 kno i this perfectly by experience; ye1 they give way to make ample time for the vast machines to go safelj to the rival city. This is not a ne cessity forced upon them by th' exhibitors, as may be suppos2d The rent of space is a small mat tr compared to the cost of trans porting hundreds of car-loads o machinery, vast lumps of coal, see tions of great trees that weigh b: the ton, and of erecting and furnish ing the stands and beautifully 0o nate pavilions that are for the smnal ler displays. Once in place, the owner of the engine or reaper ol the new plow, wants the longes time he can get to either take or ders for futr're delivery or for ship ment from the factory. The plans and the organ, the wood carver ani the soap maker, the silk exhibitoi and the vendor of fine arb~china an< glass want the longest time possi ble. So of people who sell con fections, toys or curiosities or whi keep places in which to eat an< drink. An -extra month is worti more than the cost of an extra die play in another place. This cour tesy, however, Insures the presenc of the best of the New Orleans es hibitors. As there is no conflict i the intention, so there is none i1 the scope and plan of the two grea industrial displays of the year This monster Louisville display i chiefly for the mechanic arts an< such of the agricuitural features c the whole land. and state mniners and timber exhibits as were exena plinied last year, with the additloi of thelnest cattle and stock displa; ever witnessed in the State. As Louisville Is now one of th chief manufacturing cities of Anget ean nni lilie tiMI ialilt herdaadd AFTER MANY Y EA RS. A commercial traveller told a odd etery, and a trae 6ei, a few lays since. lie said that' proeti ient merchant whose-ways were at iDes'quite peculiar," and who re sided not a thousand miles from he "City of Salt," walked into the arpet room of his ext#I : store ue 4ay wd found one'tikk tngpom1"_grsieipsts to an con a koople 4bad stray. d into the store.. The merchant oaked sharp at the old people for moment, and then said to the :lerk: "Shew them some better carpets -some of our best Brussel." As the clerk began to throw down oll after roll, the woman stopped iim and said : "We can't afford them kind of arpets -and we won't have'em." "Hold on, auntie," replied the nerchant. "Now which - one of hese would you like best?" To which the lady replied: "I ell you I can't afford 'em-but this ,ne is just lovely." "What's the size of your room?" eked the merchant. In answer to this the old man pro lueed from a capacious pocket an >d envelope upon which were the igures giving the dimensions of he room, and handed it to the mer ,hant. After glancing at it he gave it to tis clerk with instrc ctions to have he peculiar carpet wb'::h had pleas d the old lady so much made up at nee, in time for the train upon rhich tne old people were to leave uwn that afternoon, at the same ime telling them it should not cost hem a cent. Seeing the blank look of aston 3hment which overspread their aces, the merchant asked : "Ain't your name so and so?" "Yes,"they replied. "Didn't you keep a tavern at uch a time and such a place?" They replied in the affirmative. "And didn't you have a boy at ne time who tended bar for you Lamed -?" "Yes, yes; and we have often rondered whatever became of the ittle cus." "Well," said the merchant, "I m that boy, and when I tendcd ar for you I stole money enough rom you to carpet your whole ouse. Take the carpet and say Lothing more about it." They took the carpet, and have ften told the story of the way in rhich it was obtained. ZOW TO MAKE HOME HAP PT. iIe was a book agent. He rung door-bell, and a woman who was weeping opened the door so sudden y that he fell off the step and nearly ost his equilibrium. But he was a >ook agent, and he recovered his nomentum and said fluently : "I am agent :or the most celebra ed book ever offered to the public ince "Uncle Tom's Cabin" was rritten, and filled with useful hints >f things that cannot be found out ide the~ covers of any other book, nud with recipes for cooking and amily prayers, and how to keep noths:out of furs and some fine >oems by wel1tknown and popular rriters, and you can give me ydur >rder to-day and needn't pay for t till next June, or on the install nent plan, which is cheaper than ;oing without, and the name of it is Three Million Hints, or Inquire Within How to Make Home Hap-. "Oh, yes," said the woman, nmiling sweetly. "How to Make Elome Happy,' I have one already," md she looked at the broom in ier hand with dreamy eyes. lHe fell off the doorstep again, md this time he didn't recover till hlere was a block between them. Detroit Free Pres. OOULDN' T BrAND THE RVIZDY, A miserly, unkempt old man, who had been sick for some time, calkd n a doctor, and after telling .is symptoms asked what he, shocld do.. S"Well, gjr, you must take a cold bath every morning." "What. wash all over every day?" "Yes." 'Will I die if I don't do it?" "You certainly will." "Well, doctor, I ain't able to walk down town; will you go and ret a preacher and an undertaker? ['11 go home and get ready to see hem. You may send your bill to my administrator and he will settle it after T'm gone. Good day." Bostonm Post. A man never knows howr mean Le has 1 e.n until he comes out for This fall one of the olitical Lies wil etone The o fWillM r particularize, so Kentucky and her ) near sister, Indiana, lead the Mid , die States in the agricultural pro i ductions and the sup.rb stock that - both are so proud of. Therefore - manufactures snd Middle States agricultural productions, ininerals and timbers predominate. New Orleans is a vast commer cial city, and invites her guests from Europe largely; and her ,World's Fair emphasizes -cotton as its special display, and that in all its forms from the crude boll to the highest product of the- spinning, machine and the loom. Therefore the visitor who wishes t to "see it all" must see both. In l size, in scope, in design the Louis ville Exposition will, if the expecta tions of its management based on crowding demands for space be realized, be fully equal to New Orleans. Each will surpass the other in special lines. Then, as so long a story should have ita moral, no State, no visitor, no exhibitor will be wise who shall think "I will! leave out Louisville this year, for I I will see it all at New Orleans." It is my personal knowledge that t many of the great manufacturers of America are now so sure of theim portance of a display here that they are already in Louisville and engag ed to-day in erecting better and finer places for the display of what they have than they had last year. In short the grand success of 1888 is to be surpassed in 1884. I . W. C. VADER1ILT'S BARBFE bUOP. li t (Cor. Atlanta Constitution.) e Most of the socialists in this city a are Germans. The socialists be- ' lieve in the assassination of mon- t archs. Our American monarchs t are millionaires. William H. Van- t derbilt is despotic by two hundred millions. Still, he lets a German U draw a keen blade over his throat f every day. There is a quaint and jolly old German, with a. huge red nose, a perfectly bald head, and an immense mustache waxed at the s ends, who may be seen any morning of the year going down Fifth Ave. nue with the march of a dissipated 0 Prussian grenadier and the smile of n a happy infant. He is gentleness itself. Everybody who knows him v calls him Jakey, but he owns the 1 full name of Jacob Aber. Every morning about 9 o'clock he stops at a the magnificent residence of Wil- 6 lian H. Vanderbilt, greets the ser- f vant who opens the door blandly, b and goes at once to Mr. Vander- n bilt's barber shop. So much has been written about c his house that it seems hardly as I though anything new could be told, but many changes take place, and in the South wing, adjoining Mr. Vanderbilt's dressing-room, there has been fitted up a barber shop. It is small, and in the middle of it a barbers chair, made of dark ma hoga:y and inlaid with mother-of- I pearl. The base-boards of the I room, the cornices and the door and I window frames are of the same 1 snade of mahogany, and the mother of-pearl decorations are identical with those on the chair. The chair t is of the regulation barber shop r p)attern. Old JTakey shaves the two-hundred mnillioniare, and then< drifts down the avenue, nodding gracefully to the stage drivers,. and giving the occasional policeman -whom he ineets the fifth regiment sa lute.Hle shaves several other wealthy 'men on his way down, and finally rends with Colonel Garrison on Park< avenue. Then he goes back to'his home in the lower Bowery and smokes a strong German pipe andi plays penuckle with his wife until 5 o'clock in the afternoon. Then he wanders up town again and visit4 one or two old gentlemen who prefer to be shaved before dinner rather than in the morning. He returns agaimi to the Bowery, -goes to a favorite lager-beer saloon in Roosevelt street, and sits in one particular chair and at one particu lar table every night until 110o'-. clock. Then he .stalks off to bed. He is close to sixty years of age, and is said to be the best barber in New York. He gets his own price for his work, and probably has old er customera than any other barber in the world. He shaved Fernando Wood thirty years. .What is called burnt custard in a the South is simply boiled custard, j made with the yolks of the eggs, a and with the whites beaten up with .sugar laid on top. This meringue was burnt or rather browned by a holding a hot shovel over It. ri "Papa, what is the tariff V" asked a a Congressman's little boy. Gaz t ing compassionately at the youthful .knowledge-seeker and sadly shak a ing his head, thie father replied: I "My son, I cannot tell a lie. 1 do f not- know." And he told the truth.. -"Do you believe that a woman anowadays would die for the object i of her love?" asked a bachelor friend. "I don't know whether she'd e die or not," answered the Benedick, -- "but I've known her to go wild who i1 I' MthitM didn't Suit Me"'