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The Newberry herald and news. (Newberry, S.C.) 1884-1903, August 28, 1884, Image 1

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A Family Companion, Devoted to Literature, Miscellany, News, Agriculture, Markets, &c.
. xx. NEWBERRY, S. C., -THURSDAY, AUGUST 28,1884. No.35.
At Newberry, S. C.
Invariably in Advance.
At the New Store on Hotel Lot.
I have now on band a large and elegen
sortment of
Silver and Plated Ware,
All orders by mail promptly attended to.
Watchmaking and Repairing
lsonr Cheaply sud with Dispatch.
Call and examine my stock and prices.
\"m. 21, 4'7--"tf'
224 KING ST.
Nov 15-1y.
Done at tlhis Ofice.
At Low Prices for Cash.
Liver, Kidney or Stemac Trouble.
Svmpt oms: Impure blood. costive bowels,
irregular appetite, sour belching, pains in
bile, back an,d heart, yellow urine, burn ing
when urinating, clay-colored atools. ba.1
breath. no desire for work, chills. fever
irritabiity, whiti,h tnngie, dry cough,
dizzy heed, with dull rain in back pirt. :9
o' mentory. fosgy sight. For these lrouble'
*SVAT NE'.4 PIL .L." are a sure cure. Box.
(:5 Pill-). by mnail. 25 cts.. 5 for $1.00. Ald.
dlre++. I). -%W AYNE & SON, Philada.. Pa.
Sold by Drue-gts. Jas. S4-ly.
Tars famous remedy most happily meets tae de
mand of the age for woman's peculiar and multiform
smictlons. It I-, a remedy for WOMAN ONLY, and
for ONE SPECIL LCLASS of her dseases. It is a
.' peci for certain diseased conditions of the womb,
and proposes to so control theo Menstrual Function
as to regulate all the derangemcns and irregalarities
of Woman's
I8s proprietor claims fur it no other medical property;
and to doubt the fact that this medicine does posi
tively possess such controlling and regulating powers
le simply to discred.it the voluntary testimony of
thousands of liing witnesses who are to-day exult
ingintheir restoration to soud health and happiness.
Is strictly avegetable compo:nd, and is the product
of medical science and practical experience directed
towards the bene5.t of
It is the studied prescriptioner a learned physicsan
whose specialty was WOMAN, and whose fame be
e ames enviable and boundless because of his wonder
ful snessa in the treatment and cure of fsemalecom
REMEDY known, and richly deserves its name:
Because It controla a class of functions the various
derangements of which cause more Ill health thai
all other causes combined, and thus rescues her frov
along train of aflctions wh!ch sorely embitter hel
life, and prematurely end her existence.
Oh! what aumultituds of living wit naess can tes
Lify to its charming effects'.
WO3fAN! ilake to your conidne this
It will relieve yon of nearly all the complaints pece
liar to your sexl Bely upon It as ycur safeguiard fa
health, happinesand Iong li.
Price.-Small size, '1 cents; large sise, $1.0
0''-Sold by all Druggists.
Prepared only by
No, 108 South Fryor Street, Atlanta, Ga.
O -
the CHRaOSW?
gouth. ltl?
smaa hem
Lumber Mill Mena
aiIle undcr-ignted respeetfully inform A
j the citizens of Newbhrry. antd the TI
surrounding (ounties that. having loca
ted at Helen:. they are prepared to con
tract for. au-l build. Churches. Dwell
ings and other Buildings,: We guaran- A
tee satisfaction both in the quality of '
our work and in the prices charged for A
it. Having an excellent saw Will we
are also prepared. at short notice, to "1
saw and dress lumber. Orders solicited. B,
March 14 A
S D'
L: a. i I . . 1,r B
A New Treatment w
For Conzumlpiion. Asthmha. Bron- M
chiti,z. Dvspepsia, Catarrh, lleadache.
Debility. Iheumatism, Nenralgia, and .
all Chronic and Nervous Disorders.
we. the undersigned. having received great At
and permanent henetit from the use of "COM
POUND OXYGEN." prepared and administered
by Das. ST.AtKEY & PALEN. of Philadelphia, I'a
and being satistled that it is a new discovery In
medical science. and all that is claimed for it. W
consider it a duty which we owe to the many I i
thousands who are suffering from chronic and if
so-called "incurable" diseases to do all that we
can to make its virtues known anti to inspire the BI
public with confidence.
We have personal knowledge of Drs. Starkey A:
A Palen They are educated, Intelligent. and
conscientious physicians, who will not, we are Se
sure. make any statement which they do not D
know or believe to be true. nor publish any tes
timonials or reports of cases which are not gen
W. D. KELt.EY.
Member of Congress from Philadelphia.
Editor and Publisher "Arthur's IIome
Magazine," Philadelphia. =
V. L. Conrad.
Editor *-Lutheran Observer." Philadel
PHILADELPHIA. PA., June 1. 18?.
In order to meeta natural inquiry in regard to
our proless:on:'l and personal standing. and to
give increased confidence in our statements and a:
the genuinen.ss of our testimonals and reports
of cases. we print the 'bove card from gentle- a<
men well and widely known and of the highest is
personal character. Our "Treatise on Compound
Oxygen." containing a history of the discovery Ii
of and mode ol action of this remarkable cura- y
tive agent. and a large record of surprising
cures in Consumption. Catarrh. Neuralgia. Bron. ti
ehitis. Asthma. etc.. a I a wide range of chronic ,
diseases, will be sent t.ae. n
Address Dr .i ARKEY 4 PA LEN, F
1109 and 1111 Giraid Street, Philadel- E
phis.. Pa'tr
We desire to again axtend an invita- t<
tion to the la
and all others in need of a first-class st
Sewing Machine "
to ca:ll at our oflice. No. 5. Crotwell LI
Building, aund inspect our mnachainIes. antd Si
samlet of~ woark donei apomn samin yo vur n
pre.3ence. From the tuest fabric to the
heaviest baviier cloth or leat her.
Th'ere~ imust he some good reasoin why f
Three Quarters of the machaines sol :are s:
Genuine Singer Machines.*
Bmiy one youirself and flid out. Every 'I
machbine wvarrantred. $rold for cash or w
easy paayments. 2.000 Offices in the Unmi
ted St it es.
P'ar:s. Oils and Needles for The Singer
:an 1 all oither machines on hand and for C
The Singer M'f'g Co.,
Manager. i
Grand Uprght nd Suare
The uperorit of he -STIEF"
Gvrad, Ameright and Sqy ure.n
''euprorvaty at the" IEF e
byte ihetPuiarl auhoite78ad.
He eae f theEdement a f oeadry n
1r0sin difet olleges.Semnareesmand
THighaeseret inHonondrk
Oealm ersicanad Elean Euon
A itr:e tassorment of erdbn
P1an0 lwaysli olleged. .eiaie n
Generl astWherl DAbiityfr.
Bardett, Palace, Stin g,onew Eng- W k
glan,i and lean Wite
i:aNoS andvay oGnS sld .nES N
ia.staken in Exchange, also thor
o .ghly repaired(.
ig'Send for illustrated Piano or Or
gan Catalogne.
Chas. M. Stieff,
F. Werher, Jr.. Agenlt, NewbhrrT.
A pell 97
gamblers have. Numbers of foolish
girls and gilded dies were led on
the downward path to ruin at Ar
mnory Hall, but all of the crime,
profanity and sin that were ever
engendered there, would not equal
the ruin wrought in Wall street in
a single day. Mr. Dickinson goes
into exile after a long .nd honora
ble life, branded as a t'iief, and the
men who got the money flaunt their
ill-gotten riches at Newport, Sara
toga and Long Branch.
The latest news is that Billy Mc
Glory after his release experienced
a change of heart, and was going to
open a Mission like Jerry McAu
ley's, where the Magdalene and the
tramp might be brought to a sense
of their lost condition. But just as
the goody goodies got ready to give
Billy a welcome and reception,
Billy went off on a tear with the
boys. He set up the champagne
for the crowd, got as tight as bricks,
and the conclusion is forced upon
us that the day of his salvation is
yet far off.
One of Her Majesty's Own got
laid by the heels here last week,
and had a novLl and unpleasant ex
perience in our great and noble
country. He left England on a
three month's furlough, intending
to 'unt 'Hindians and buffaloes.
He: had scarcely landed in. New
York-when he started out to see the
Elephant. He saw Jumbo, and
though he started out a well dress.
ed gentlemen, with a fine watch and
a couple of hundred dollars in his
pocket, yet he landed at twelve
o'clock at night in the vicinity of
1'ive Points, not only miuns his
valuables but also minus his clothes.
When the policeman lugged him off
to limbo, he looked like the worst
kind of a tramp. He wandered
about the town for three days till
he was almost starved to death. At
last he found his way to Castle
Garden where he made his story
known. It is probable that Lieu
tenant Campbell of Her Majesty's
Own will in a few days be floating
on an even keel, but he won't for
get his experience among the
blarsted Yaikees in a hurry. le
may not carry back many Indian
scalps or buffalo horns, but he wilt
have a heap of valuable experience
which will prove of much practic.l
service when he goes hinting in
foreign lands.
Philanthrophy takes queer freaks.
Almost every week in the winter
time you will see some member of
the Society for the Prevention of
Cruelty to Children make a raid on
the little children engagad in a
rustic dance or singing in a fairy
chorus in the theaters.
All of there children are well fel,
well clad, well housed and well cared
for, and bett.r paid for what they
do and are injured by it less than
any other children who have to
earn their living on this planet..
Yet the Soci, ty drags them off from
their occupation and dooms them to
idleness andl consequent poverty.
Yet around all the docks, ferries
and steamboat landings little rag
ged half-starved girls swarm selling
papers or whatever they can find to
sell; there are t::ousands of these,.
varying from eight to fourteen or
fifteen years of ate; they are many
of them little hom~eless waifs or t:.e
children of dIrunken parents; they
are constandly associated with the
mot vicious class of ruffian hood
lums, but the Society for the Pre
vention of Cruelty to Children nev
er stretches out a hand to save
One of the healthful signs of the
times is tha:t the intolerable nui
sance, the Salvation Army, is grad
ually dwindling away in New York
& Brooklyn. A few months ago their
street parades were forty and fifty
strong. One digbt last week I met
a hallelujah company on the street,
and there were only six all told.
The two Salvat.ou lasses who were
beating tambourines looked more
like street tramps than gospel dis
pensers, while every one of the
males looked like hopeful candida
tes for the penitentiary. Why it is
that this nuisance has been tolerat-'
ed is a mystery. Every time they
appear upon the streets they attract
a crowd of gaping ruffians and cre
ate a riot. Let us hope that the
end of the Salvation Army, with its
disgraceful mummery, will soon be
among the things of the past.
If any one imagines that Gover
nor St. John is going to ride into
the White House on a Prohibition
car, he would be quickly disabused
of that idea if he could have seen
the parade of the Liquor Dealers'
and Brewers' Associations in
Brooklyn, the City of Churches, on
Thursday, August 14th. The pro
cession was fully two miles long.
and the horses alone, exclusive of
the wagons they drove, and the
costly freight of beer, ale, gin, rum,
brandy, &c., &c., were worth over
a quarter of a zmillion of dollars.
All tbe liquors beneath the sun
were represented, from the vodkl of
the Russian to the sacki of the
Chinese. Water found no place in
the entertainment except as a med
im for washing out their beer vats
and a basis for the beer. In its
original corrupt state, ftill ot mi
erobes and - other pestilential ani
tie antidb Iut~tObetbl
tionist would think of endangering
his life. You have 'no idea bow
afraid they are of microbes, and if
the microbe only waits' till he gets
into some of these anti-prohibition
stomachs in a drink of-cold water,
he will be starved to; eath. This
is all very well for the ~ium drink
ers, but it is mighty h'ard on the
Since the shaking up that we re-1
ceived from the friendly earthquake,
fats in the fifteenth and sixteenth
stories of our modern houses have
been at a discount. A female1
friend of rMine, who only lives in
the eleventh story. says she felt as
if she had been shaken on the top
of a bean-pole. Now while this ex
perience is novel, it is not pleasant,
especially when examined from the
roof of a fourteen-story house. The <
idea of going to bed at night al
most in companionship with the
stars and waking up in the morning I
to find yourself landed in the cellar
is full of the most unpleasant pos
Another womaa has entered suit i
for a damaged husband; he is very j
badly damaged; a wealthy widow
ran off with him. The original I
owner of the property wants the i
worth of the goods, when they were
in first-class condition. The in- <
jured wife wants $20,000; the unin
Jured widow says he is not worth 1
20,000 cents. There certainly is a 1
wide difference as to his value. Let 1
the courts decide between them. I
Election matters are hot, hotter,
hottest, with a chance of them be- 4
coming hotter yet.
Yours truly,
[From our Spocial Correspondent.]
In accordance with my general
promise to glean for you some mat.
ters that might keep your readers
cool during the heat of summer and
of politics, I begin with the city of
Louisville, which resembles New
York in the fact that it is never
dull nor stagnant, and later in the
season, say November, I will possi
bly try New Orleans. Having lived
so long in the Atlantic ports. where
a sea breeze can always be depend
ed upon, I find a Kentucky July a
little trying. This, however, is the
hot month, and the torrid conditions
usually abate by the first of August. J
Directly opposite where I am writ
ing is the place known as Corn
Island in the old surveys, where on
the 27th of May, 1778, General
George Rogers Clarke, heading an
expedition of one hundred and fif;y
volunteers, landed his fiat-boats on
the first island below Beargrass
Creek, and left the twenty families
that accompanied him, while his
fighting men went on against the
Indians of the Illinois territory.
But the soil of the island went
away when the roots of the +.rees
and canes ceased to bind it together,
and where a cycamore tree ten feet
in diameter was once cut, and
where pioneer anglers cut canes for
fishing-rods fifteen and twenty feet,
in length, there is now only a shoal
of rocks, bare at low water, and very
bare just now that the river is so
low. Like some of the people who
love the fine old Bourbon product
of this State, the river, after getting
"on a high old bender"~ in February
last that surpassed all former efforts,
has been inclined to be low-spirited
and down in the mouth ever since.
Will S. Hayes, the wit and poet of
the falls, predicts that the tadpoles
will soon be hard to see from the
dust in the river, while another as
serts that it is about to get "entire
ly out of bed," from the resemblance
of the same to th"se of boarding
houses, while a third thinks that
some autocrat voice has said to the
late flooded stream "Oh, you dry
up" which commaud there is a dis
tressing prospect that it will obey.
There have been good showers, but
none to do so much good as the
The population who a little time
ago sang "Shan't we, my love, and
shanted," have mostly been washed
out by the all-cleansing flood or
moved out before the march of im
provement, and as there is now no
more healthy city than this, there
will soon be none more safe. The
diphtheria and low summer fevers
that were once considered inevita
ble have so entirely ceased that
doctors are about the only absolute
paupers in this comfortable land of
There Is, however, an epidemic of
some prevalence, and I do not now
speak of the base-bawl of the news
paper vendor beneath my windows
but of the base ball clubs for which
this city is deservedly famous.
In boating races the strain of the
fnal spurt for victory is often the
beginning of a chest disease and an
early grav e for the champion oars
man, and In foot races the list of
swift-footed mercuries "gone stale,"
as they say of one bro'ken down for
life, is larger than any save the ini
tIatel knmow. But solfar as I know,
a base ball expert has al1 the
oanoad af a Ieans man fat a goed
lien I was a little lass. just sixteen,
'innie was I, but proud as a queen;
roud and saucy. and hard to please,
ud wou(terfu' fond o' taking my ease.
)lks diona inind then-for I w,s young
ie "canna ;se fashed" that was eye en my
couldna be lashed" wi' my books at the
ud now I am old, I am only a fool;
couldns be fashed" wi' the dairy and house,
ad now I'm as poor as any kirk mouse;
ad when mither spak o uty needle and
couldnas be fashed" was aye what I said.
it spite o' my laziness, spite o' my pride,
)ung Elliott, the pride o' the country side,
im seeking ray love; and oft for bis sake
wheen o' fair pronises I would make;
it when the time came the gude purpese
was dashed
i' just the auld sang: "I canna be lashed."
couldna be faslted." if he wanted to walk;
coulina be fashed," if he wanted to talt;
,hought it was fline sae indifferent to be
ilks mustna be sure o' the getting o' me;
ad thus a' his hopes and his pleasures were
ith thae wearisome words: "I canna be
it I said them too often. One hot summer
hen the folks were a' busy in "saving the
y lover said: "Lassie, lets help them
canna be fashed," I said. wi' a smile
1, lassie, dear lassie, thae words gie me
id I looked in his face and said them
ien he put on his hat, took the over-hill
ad from that day to this he has never come
,o had "fashes" enon sice thae happy
' losses and crosses and wearifu' ways;
night hae been weel and happily wed
I'd Jkeepit a kind eevil tongue In my
it "I couldna be fashed" wi' others, you
id fortune and friends ceased "lashing"
wi' me.
e, lasses, tak tent from the tale I has told;
ntna wait to be eevil until you grow old.
[Harper's Weekly.
Where is it going to stop? I
;ked this question several weeks
ro when Morgan's Sons succumbed
financial collapse. Not so un.
kely a failure had occurred for
ears-and it really seemed as if
is was the culmination of our fi
incial disasters which began with
erdinand Ward. We have almost
gun to forget that this notorious
scal is still in Ludlow Street Jail.
the whirl of our daily life in
ew York we have no time to think
anything very long. Even the
irthquake was only a sensation
r an hour ; people rushed to their
indows and looked out; Trinity's
wer stood erect and perpendicu
.r ; the great Bridge bad not slip
,d from its moorings; even the
6ll spire from which the new philo.
)pher of the Tribune looks down
on a naughty world was as
raight as an arrow pointing to
le sky ;-so they ran back to their
up; and except *by comparing
tes of their sensations, the shak
g up that we received was soon
rgotten. But to return; I was
ying that we were just being lull
into sweet forgetfulness when
ay goes tile W all Street Bank.
he cause is not dissimilar to one
ich occurred about ten years ago,
hen the cashier of one of the Wall
tret bauks swept away the entire
pital. Hie was an exceedingly
ic young man, and as an evidence
fhis nicety he parted his hair in
te middle. Tile directors of this
articular bank had so much con
ence in this very nice young man
tat they would not insult him by
>oking over his accounts; but one
trning these sleepy old gentle
ten woke up and the capital of the
tire bank was gone, and the nice
oung man was gone too, but they
utaaht the nice young man in Can
da, and he was not so fortunate as
no, for they brought him back and
ent him to States Prison, from
!hich he was released a few months
The Wall Street Bank was just
ich another case. It had been in
zistence in one shape and anoth'
r nearly fifty years, and if not tile
aunchest, was at least one of the
Idest banks in tite city. Mr. Dick
ason, the thieving cashier, was the
on in-law of one of he principal
tockholders, and himself a member
Lf a very wealthy and influential
amily. His stealings have extend
d over a period of several years,
nd will amount in the aggregate to
taif a million of dollars. The
:nowledge of this defalcation has
aused dismay to many important
ouses, and will undoubt2dly bring
nancial ruin to some.
We are told, when we inquire,
hat it has been lost in stock gam-.
ding, and the stock gambling house
rhere this stolen money was lost is
ne of the principal features of
,Vall street. It is true it stands on
broad street, but in financial tech
iicality it is all WVall street. Of
he millions lost to this country in
he past few years, the great body
if it has been lost among the gam-.
>lers of WVall street, in thle New
(ork Stock Exchange.
The New York World thought
he release of Billy McGlory a fit
ubject for one of its abowinable
artoons, but Bil'y McGlory. infa
nus as he was, has never inflicted
tithe of the misery and ruin on
, talaig theat thean Wall Simet
old age. Louisville has met citj
after city in this season, usually t<
keep her laurels safe if not green
and a great excursion to Cincinnat
to receive the same courtesy re
cently extended to the young man
hood of Porkopolis is now makin=
all of the boys wild. 'Ibke chief ob
jection so far made tothis manl3
sport is, that young men have n<
entire day in many cases save Sab
bath, and closing stores at 3 p. m.
)f Saturdays does not give time foi
% grand battle of skill. I hope the
ime will come when by a mutual
inderstanding business will be done
n five days and a mid-week holiday
;uch as is so common in Europe
inder sanction of the church, will
)e universal. Just as much can be
old in five days as in six, and
:ounting the increased power of
zealth over a wearied body, just as
nuch can be produced. This is
he only way I see to prevent the
sunday-school boys having to de
ide between big muscles and re
igion, with a majority of about ten
housand in this city, for fresh air
tnd the game. The sermons against
abbath breaking, of which I have
eard several, do no good, as they
ire only listened to by the old men
ad women and girls. A less epi
lemic is that of Dr. Carver's open
ir show and its results. It is pain
ul to think of the number of boys
who will try to ride old cows or
)ull calves as he and his men do
be very tame "wild buffalo," of the
lear little babies that will get their
iyes shot out by the bow-and-arrow
)ractice in emulation. of his noble
[ndians, who were all present when
,uster died-that is, they were on
his continent-and if his exhibi
,ions of really wonderful skill do
-evive the love for that noble Amer
can weapon, the rifle, some good
will be done.
This leads me to say that in my
icquaintance with persons pretty
nuch all over the Union. I find a
nisapprehension of the chief event
>f the Ohio River Valley for 1884
>y which I mean the great Exposi
.ion to be held as said in this city.
Che fact of what is intended to be
in International Cotton Fair in
vew Orleans about December, is
mupposed to conflict with and ren
ler local and incomplete the event
)f the upper river and the more
niddle ground. This is all a mis
ake, and a very bad one for those
tates to make that need emigrants,
,apital and the development of their
ndustries and productions. It is
ust as bad a mistake for any one
o make who has a picture or a
natua, a machine or an invention,
. coal mine or a gold mine or s
;rack of timbered land to be sold,
In the first place there is no rivalry
)f intention. The Louisville Expo
ition positively limits its time to
,wo mouths and some ten days,
his is a matter of courtesy to the
New Orleans World's Fair, for
while the two are not the same thern
W an entire underst1anding. This
aourtesy costs Louisville a sacrifice
The Exposition of 1883, held foi
ane hundred days, and the profiti
were on the last month. So it
would be again, for no newspape'
advertising dies one half the good
that is done by the delighted visitor
saying as each one did to every
neighbor, '-I had no idea it was hal
what it is. I like it better than th4
Philadelphia Centennial of 1876
You will be sorry for it all your lit
if you don't go right over and set
it" This tongue advertising takes
a hundred days to get well going
and the management of 1884 kno i
this perfectly by experience; ye1
they give way to make ample time
for the vast machines to go safelj
to the rival city. This is not a ne
cessity forced upon them by th'
exhibitors, as may be suppos2d
The rent of space is a small mat
tr compared to the cost of trans
porting hundreds of car-loads o
machinery, vast lumps of coal, see
tions of great trees that weigh b:
the ton, and of erecting and furnish
ing the stands and beautifully 0o
nate pavilions that are for the smnal
ler displays. Once in place, the
owner of the engine or reaper ol
the new plow, wants the longes
time he can get to either take or
ders for futr're delivery or for ship
ment from the factory. The plans
and the organ, the wood carver ani
the soap maker, the silk exhibitoi
and the vendor of fine arb~china an<
glass want the longest time possi
ble. So of people who sell con
fections, toys or curiosities or whi
keep places in which to eat an<
drink. An -extra month is worti
more than the cost of an extra die
play in another place. This cour
tesy, however, Insures the presenc
of the best of the New Orleans es
hibitors. As there is no conflict i
the intention, so there is none i1
the scope and plan of the two grea
industrial displays of the year
This monster Louisville display i
chiefly for the mechanic arts an<
such of the agricuitural features c
the whole land. and state mniners
and timber exhibits as were exena
plinied last year, with the additloi
of thelnest cattle and stock displa;
ever witnessed in the State.
As Louisville Is now one of th
chief manufacturing cities of Anget
ean nni lilie tiMI ialilt herdaadd
A commercial traveller told a
odd etery, and a trae 6ei, a few
lays since. lie said that' proeti
ient merchant whose-ways were at
iDes'quite peculiar," and who re
sided not a thousand miles from
he "City of Salt," walked into the
arpet room of his ext#I : store
ue 4ay wd found one'tikk
tngpom1"_grsieipsts to an
con a koople 4bad stray.
d into the store.. The merchant
oaked sharp at the old people for
moment, and then said to the
"Shew them some better carpets
-some of our best Brussel."
As the clerk began to throw down
oll after roll, the woman stopped
iim and said :
"We can't afford them kind of
arpets -and we won't have'em."
"Hold on, auntie," replied the
nerchant. "Now which - one of
hese would you like best?"
To which the lady replied: "I
ell you I can't afford 'em-but this
,ne is just lovely."
"What's the size of your room?"
eked the merchant.
In answer to this the old man pro
lueed from a capacious pocket an
>d envelope upon which were the
igures giving the dimensions of
he room, and handed it to the mer
After glancing at it he gave it to
tis clerk with instrc ctions to have
he peculiar carpet wb'::h had pleas
d the old lady so much made up at
nee, in time for the train upon
rhich tne old people were to leave
uwn that afternoon, at the same
ime telling them it should not cost
hem a cent.
Seeing the blank look of aston
3hment which overspread their
aces, the merchant asked :
"Ain't your name so and so?"
"Yes,"they replied.
"Didn't you keep a tavern at
uch a time and such a place?"
They replied in the affirmative.
"And didn't you have a boy at
ne time who tended bar for you
Lamed -?"
"Yes, yes; and we have often
rondered whatever became of the
ittle cus."
"Well," said the merchant, "I
m that boy, and when I tendcd
ar for you I stole money enough
rom you to carpet your whole
ouse. Take the carpet and say
Lothing more about it."
They took the carpet, and have
ften told the story of the way in
rhich it was obtained.
iIe was a book agent. He rung
door-bell, and a woman who was
weeping opened the door so sudden
y that he fell off the step and nearly
ost his equilibrium. But he was a
>ook agent, and he recovered his
nomentum and said fluently :
"I am agent :or the most celebra
ed book ever offered to the public
ince "Uncle Tom's Cabin" was
rritten, and filled with useful hints
>f things that cannot be found out
ide the~ covers of any other book,
nud with recipes for cooking and
amily prayers, and how to keep
noths:out of furs and some fine
>oems by wel1tknown and popular
rriters, and you can give me ydur
>rder to-day and needn't pay for
t till next June, or on the install
nent plan, which is cheaper than
;oing without, and the name of it is
Three Million Hints, or Inquire
Within How to Make Home Hap-.
"Oh, yes," said the woman,
nmiling sweetly. "How to Make
Elome Happy,' I have one already,"
md she looked at the broom in
ier hand with dreamy eyes.
lHe fell off the doorstep again,
md this time he didn't recover till
hlere was a block between them.
Detroit Free Pres.
A miserly, unkempt old man, who
had been sick for some time, calkd
n a doctor, and after telling .is
symptoms asked what he, shocld
S"Well, gjr, you must take a cold
bath every morning."
"What. wash all over every day?"
'Will I die if I don't do it?"
"You certainly will."
"Well, doctor, I ain't able to
walk down town; will you go and
ret a preacher and an undertaker?
['11 go home and get ready to see
hem. You may send your bill to
my administrator and he will settle
it after T'm gone. Good day."
Bostonm Post.
A man never knows howr mean
Le has 1 e.n until he comes out for
This fall one of the olitical
Lies wil etone The o fWillM
r particularize, so Kentucky and her
) near sister, Indiana, lead the Mid
, die States in the agricultural pro
i ductions and the sup.rb stock that
- both are so proud of. Therefore
- manufactures snd Middle States
agricultural productions, ininerals
and timbers predominate.
New Orleans is a vast commer
cial city, and invites her guests
from Europe largely; and her
,World's Fair emphasizes -cotton as
its special display, and that in all
its forms from the crude boll to the
highest product of the- spinning,
machine and the loom.
Therefore the visitor who wishes t
to "see it all" must see both. In
l size, in scope, in design the Louis
ville Exposition will, if the expecta
tions of its management based on
crowding demands for space be
realized, be fully equal to New
Orleans. Each will surpass the
other in special lines. Then, as so
long a story should have ita moral,
no State, no visitor, no exhibitor
will be wise who shall think "I will!
leave out Louisville this year, for I
I will see it all at New Orleans."
It is my personal knowledge that t
many of the great manufacturers of
America are now so sure of theim
portance of a display here that they
are already in Louisville and engag
ed to-day in erecting better and
finer places for the display of what
they have than they had last year.
In short the grand success of 1888
is to be surpassed in 1884.
I . W. C.
bUOP. li
(Cor. Atlanta Constitution.) e
Most of the socialists in this city a
are Germans. The socialists be- '
lieve in the assassination of mon- t
archs. Our American monarchs t
are millionaires. William H. Van- t
derbilt is despotic by two hundred
millions. Still, he lets a German U
draw a keen blade over his throat f
every day. There is a quaint and
jolly old German, with a. huge red
nose, a perfectly bald head, and an
immense mustache waxed at the s
ends, who may be seen any morning
of the year going down Fifth Ave.
nue with the march of a dissipated 0
Prussian grenadier and the smile of n
a happy infant. He is gentleness
itself. Everybody who knows him v
calls him Jakey, but he owns the 1
full name of Jacob Aber. Every
morning about 9 o'clock he stops at a
the magnificent residence of Wil- 6
lian H. Vanderbilt, greets the ser- f
vant who opens the door blandly, b
and goes at once to Mr. Vander- n
bilt's barber shop.
So much has been written about c
his house that it seems hardly as I
though anything new could be told,
but many changes take place, and
in the South wing, adjoining Mr.
Vanderbilt's dressing-room, there
has been fitted up a barber shop.
It is small, and in the middle of it
a barbers chair, made of dark ma
hoga:y and inlaid with mother-of- I
pearl. The base-boards of the I
room, the cornices and the door and I
window frames are of the same 1
snade of mahogany, and the mother
of-pearl decorations are identical
with those on the chair. The chair t
is of the regulation barber shop
r p)attern. Old JTakey shaves the
two-hundred mnillioniare, and then<
drifts down the avenue, nodding
gracefully to the stage drivers,. and
giving the occasional policeman
-whom he ineets the fifth regiment sa
lute.Hle shaves several other wealthy
'men on his way down, and finally
rends with Colonel Garrison on Park<
avenue. Then he goes back to'his
home in the lower Bowery and
smokes a strong German pipe andi
plays penuckle with his wife until
5 o'clock in the afternoon. Then
he wanders up town again and
visit4 one or two old gentlemen
who prefer to be shaved before
dinner rather than in the morning.
He returns agaimi to the Bowery,
-goes to a favorite lager-beer saloon
in Roosevelt street, and sits in one
particular chair and at one particu
lar table every night until 110o'-.
clock. Then he .stalks off to bed.
He is close to sixty years of age,
and is said to be the best barber in
New York. He gets his own price
for his work, and probably has old
er customera than any other barber
in the world. He shaved Fernando
Wood thirty years.
.What is called burnt custard in
a the South is simply boiled custard,
j made with the yolks of the eggs,
a and with the whites beaten up with
.sugar laid on top. This meringue
was burnt or rather browned by
a holding a hot shovel over It.
ri "Papa, what is the tariff V" asked
a a Congressman's little boy. Gaz
t ing compassionately at the youthful
.knowledge-seeker and sadly shak
a ing his head, thie father replied:
I "My son, I cannot tell a lie. 1 do
f not- know." And he told the truth..
-"Do you believe that a woman
anowadays would die for the object
i of her love?" asked a bachelor
friend. "I don't know whether she'd
e die or not," answered the Benedick,
-- "but I've known her to go wild who i1
I' MthitM didn't Suit Me"'

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