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A.n. Independent Paper Devoted to the Interests of* tlie People. \ ? VOLUME III. ORANGEBURG, SOUTH C?ROLINA, THURSDAY, JULY 2, 1874. NUMBER 21. THE VOICELESS. bt oltvkr wendell holme?. Wo count the broken lyres tbat rest Wbere the swoot-walllng singers alumbor; But o'or their silent alstoni breast Tho wild flowers wUo will stoop to nmmbor 7 A fow can touch the magic string, ? And noisy famo Is proud to win them; Alas for those tbat novor sing, But die with all their music in thorn 1 Nay. grieve not for tbe dead alone. Whoso song baa told their heart's sad story; Weep for the voiceless, who have known Tho cross but not tho crown of glory I Not where Leu'cadlan breezes Bweep O'er Sappho's memory-haunted billow, Bnt where the gUaieulng ntght-dovrs weop On namoless sorrow's church-yard pillow. Oh, hearts that break and glvo no sign, Bavo witboring Hps and fading tresses, Till Death pours out his cordial wine. Slow-dropped from Misery's crushing presses: If singing breath or echoing chord To every hidden rang wore given. What endless melodi?s were poured, As sad as earth, as sweet as Heaven! ARMSTRONG. Intho early dayB of California?tlie olden days of gold, or the golden days of old, ?s you please?in a certain miner's camp on tbe Yuba river, there lived a queer geniiiB named Armstrong. He was an honest miner, not differiog materially from his fellows, excepting that he had a ouriouB habit of talking to himself. For the Bimplo reason that he departed from common ouBtom in this one particular, he was, of course, voted crazy by tho other minors. To call all persons '* crazy" who do not follow the oastouis of the majority is a constant habit with moo, But, day after day, Armstrong worked away with his pick and shovel, onring nothing for the romarks of his neighbors, and seem ing to wish* for no other partum- in his toils or his rest, savo tho invisible per Bonago whom ho always addressed in tho Becond person singular, and with whom he was almost constantly in close and earnest conversation. Too common drift of his talk, while at work, would bo as follows : " Rather tough work, Armstrong? rich dirt, though?grub a dollar a pound ?no time to waste?pitch in, sir? hanged if I don't wiBh I was in the Btates. This mining's mighty hard work. Nonsenso, Armstrong; what a fool you are to bo talking in that way, with three ounces a day right under! your feet, and nothing to do but just to i dig it out." His conversation would bo duly punc tuated with strokes of the pick and lifts of the loaded shovel. And r o the days would pass along, and Armstrong work ed and slept, and talked with his invisi ble partner. Well, it happened, in due course of time, that the olass of human vampires, commonly called gamblers, made their appearance at the camp where Armstrong worked. As he wob not abovo following tho example of his fellows, ho paid the new comers a visit. It in the same old story. After watch ing the game awhile, he concluded it was the simplest thing in the world. 80 he tiied his luck, and won?$100! Now, any experience would always set ? Armstrong to thinking and talking to himself worso than ever. It waa so this timo. " Now, Armstrong," he said, as ho hesitated about going to his work next morning, "that is the easiest hundred dollars you over made in your life. What's tho uao of your going into a hole in the ground to dig for three ounces a day? The faot is, Armstrong, yon are aharp. You wore not made for this kind of work. Sup pose yon just throw away your pick and shovel, leave the mines, buy a suit of store-clothes and dress up like a born gentleman, and go at some busineas that suits your talent." Armstrong was not long in putting these thonghts and sayings into aotion. Ho left tho diggings and invested in fine clothes. Ho looked like another man, but he was still tho same Armstrong, never?heless. He was not long in find iug an opportunity to try a new profes sion. Walking forth in his fresh outfit, ho had just concluded a long talk with himself about his bright prospects, when he had halted ia front of a largo tent with a sign on it, " Miners' Rest." Armstrong went in. It did not seem to him that ho remained very long, but it was long enough to work a wondorful revolution in his feelings. When ho came out he was a changed man?that is to fray, he was a " changeless" man. He was thunder-struck, amazed, be wildered. He had lost his money, lost his new prospect, lost his aolf-ooncoit?lost everything, but his new clothes and hie old habit of talking to himself. It ia usoleB8 to say that ho was mad. Arm strong was very mad. But thero was no one to be m?d at but Armstrong him self, so self number two was in for a rough leoture : " Now, Armstrong, you are a nic^ specimen?you fool?you bilk?yon dead-beat?you inf?" Well, I nerd not repeat all tho hard things ho said. Liiko King Richard, ho " found within himself no pity for himself." But more words were not sufficient. It was a time for aotion. But Arm strong never onco thought of shooting, drowning, hanging, or any other form of suicide. Ho was altogether too orig inal as well as too sensible for that. Yet ho was resolved upon something real and praotical in tho way of reforma tory punishment. He folt tho need of a self-impose 1 decree of biokiuptcy that should render the present failure aa com leto as possible, and prevent a similar oourao in tho future Bo the broken firm of " Armstrong & Self " went forth in meditation long and deep. Some of his thoughts wore al most too deep for utterance. Bnt finally ho stood by the dusty road along which tho great freighting wagons were haul ing supplies to the mining campa up tho Saoraruonto. One of these wagons, drawn by six yoke of oxen, wbb just passing. Snap, snap, snap, in slow, ir regular succo88ion, came tho keen, stinging reports of the long Missouri ox-whip. " G'lang I g'lang ! wo-haw !" shouted tho tall, dust-begrimed driver, as he swung his whip and east a side long glance at the broken firm, wonder 1 ing " what in thunder all them store olothes was a-doin' thar." Now, when Armstrong saw the long column of white dust rising behind that wagon he was taken with an idea. 80 he shouted to tho driver, to know if he might be allowed to walk in the road behind the wagon. " Oet in and ride," said the driver, "No," said Armstrong; "I wish to walk." V Then walk, you crazy fool," was the accommodating response, as the driver swung his whip. Then came the tug of war. 'Greek never met Greek more fiercely than did the two contending spirits oompoaing the firm of Armstrong & Solf, at that particular moment. "Now, Armstrong," said the imperious head of the firm, " you get right into the middle of that road, sir, and walk in that dust, behind that wagon, all the way to the Paokers' Boost, on tho Yuba river." "What, with these clothes on?" "Yes, with those clothes on." " Why, it iB fifteen miles and dusty all thewav." " No mat ter, sir; take tho road. You squander you money at three-card monto; I'll teach you a lesson." " G'lang! g'lang 1" drawled the dri ver, as he looked over his shoulder with a curious mingling of pity, contompt and wonder on his dusty face. Moro and moro spitefully snapped the swing ing whip as the slow-paced oxen toiled milo after mile under tho heat of a Sep tember sun. And there, in tho road, trudged Armstrong behind the wagon slowly, wearily, thoughtfully, but not silently. He was a man who always spoke ins thoughts. " This serves you right, Armstrong. Any man who will fool his money away at three-card monto deserves to walk in the dust." "It will spoil these clothes." "Well, don't yon deservo it?" "Tho dust fills my eyes." "Yes, any man who gambles all his * dust' away at three-card monto deserves to have dust in his eyes?and alkali dust at that." "The dust chokes mo." "All right; any man who will buck at monto de serves to be choked. Keep the road, sir?the middle of tho road?close up to the wagon. Do you think yon will over buck at monte again, Armstrong ?" And so the poor culprit, solf-arrosted, self-condemned, coughed, and sneezed, and choked, and walked, and talked, mile after mile, hour after hour ; while the great wagon groaned and ereaked, the driver bawled and swnng his whip, the patient oxen gave their shoulders to the yoke, and the golden sun of Sep tember sunk wearily toward the weBt. Thfe shadows of evening were begin ning to fall when the wagon halted at the place called Packers' RooBt, on the Ynba. " Here we reBt," sighed Armstrong, just above his breath, as he looked at the stream. "No, you don't," answered the head of the firm. " You buok your money away at monte, aud talk about resting 1 Now, Armstrong, go right down the bank, sir, into that river." As the command was peremptory, and a spirit of obedience was thought the safest, Armstrong obeyed without par ley ; and down he went, over head and cars, store-olothes and all, into the cold mountain stream. It was a long time that he remained in tho water, and un der tho water. He would come to the surface every litt!o while to talk, you understand. It was impossible for Armstrong to forbear talking. "O, yes," he would say, as he came up and snuffed the water from his nose, " you'll buck your money away at three-card monte, will yon ? How do yon like water-cure?" His words wore, of course, duly punotuated by irregular plungings and catching of the breath. It 8J happened that the man who keot the shanty hotol at the Packers' Roost, had a woman for a wife. She, be ing a kind-hearted oreature, besought her lord to go down and "help tho poor orazy man out of tho water." "Pshaw!" said the ox-driver, "ho ain't a crazy man ; ho's a fool. Ho walked behind my wagon and talked to himself all tho * way from Scrabble town." Theroupon rose a lengthy discussion about tho difference between a crazy man and a fool. But, after a while, tho landlord and the ox-driver went down to tho bank and agreed to go Arm strong's security against buoking at monte in the future, if ho would oomo out of the water. So he came out and went up to house " Will you have a cup of toa or cof fee ?" said tho woman kicdly. "YeB, madam," Baid Armstrong, "I will tako both," " Ho is orazy, sure as can bo," said the woman. But she.brought tho two cups as ordered. "Milk aud sugar?" she inquiiod kindly, ns before. " No, madam, mustard and red pop per," answorod Armstrong. " I do believo ho is a fool," said tho woman, ns she wont for the poppor and mustard. Ar LStrong, with deliberate coolnoss, put a spoonful of rod popper into the ton and a spoonful of mustard into the coffee. Then he poured the two to gether into a largo tin cup. Then the old conflict raged again, and, hi^b above the din of rattling tin oupB and pewter spoons, sounded tho stern command, "Armstroug, drink it, sir?drink it down." A momentary hesitation and a few desporato gulps, aud it was down. " Oh, yes," said our hero, as his throat burned and tho tears ran. from his eyes, "yon buok your money away at threo card monto, do you ?" Now, tho Thomeoninn dose above de scribed very nearly ended the battlo with poor Armstrong. He was silent for quite a. time, and everybody else was silent. After a while the landlord ventured to suggest that a bed ooiild be provided if it was desired. " No," said Armstrong, " I'll sleep on the floor. You see, stranger," said he, eyeing the landlord >with a peculiar expression, " this fool has been squandering g?kl einst at monte?three-card mem to?and does not deserve to sleep in a bed." So Armstrong ended the day's battle by going to bed on the floor. Then oame the dreams. He first dreamed that he was Bleeping with his feet on tho North Pole and his head in the tropics, while all tho miners of Yuba were ground- sluicing in his stomach. Next, he dreamed that he had swallow ed Mount Shasta for supper, and that the old mountain had suddenly become an aotive volcano, and was vomiting" acres and acres of hot lava. Then the scenes shifted, and he seemed to have found his final abode in a place of vile smells and fierce flames, poetically called tho antipodes of heav en. And'while ho writhed and groaned in sleepless agony, a fork-tailed fiend, with his thumb at his no so, was saying to him in a mocking voice: " You buck your money away at threo-card monto, do you?hey ?" But even this troubled sleep had an end at last, and Armstrong arose. When he looked at himself in the broken looking-glass that hung on the wall, he thought his faoe bore traces of wisdom that had never been there before. So he said: ' 'I think you have learned a lesson, Armstrong. Yon can go back to your mining now, sir, and leave monte alone." Timo showed that ho was right. His lesson was well learned. The minors looked a littlo curious when he reappeared at the camp, and still called him crazy. Bat he had learned a lesson many of them never learned, poor follows. They continued their old ways, making money fast and spending it foolishly?oven giving it to monto dealers. But the Armstrong firm was never broken in that way but once. After that, when ever he saw ono of tho peculiar signs, "Robbers' Roost," " Fleecer's Dan," or "Fool's Last Chance," Armstrong would shake his hoad with u knowing air, and say to himself as he passed along: "On, yes, Armstrong, you've bcon there ; you know all about that; yon don't buck your money away at three card monte?not muc'j. At the Vatican, A correspondent from Rome describes a visit to the Vatican : " The gorgeous Swiss Guards, who look like nothing else undor heaven, and are probably the most showy soldiers on the face of the globe, filed back at our approach like a shattered rainbow, and wo were imme diately lost in the labyrinths of tho palace. We climbed stairs that seemed out out of solid marble quarries, for there was nothing to be seen but marble in some Bhapo or other. Again and again wo were met and passed by guards ; priests and monks in robes of many fashions and colors, pass us; the place was alive with peoplo, and yet none of them seemed familiar to my eyeB. We entered one room, passed into others, all of them having their separate uses and most of them in oharge of officers, who lookod as littlo like tho last lot as possible. Finally wo oame to a court, ono of the twenty, where were carriages, and footmen in livery, but how they ovor found their way thither I dare not conjooturo. Be yond the court tho chambers were more splendid than tho last. New guards and pages, in now uniforms and liveries, moved to and fro through the ondloss suites of rooms, and kept everything in a gontle state of commotion. Hero wo left our cloaks and hats.. Here wo took our rosaries and tokens in hand, and pressed from one chamber to anotbor, perhaps waiting a few moments in each room while ray companion spoke, to gen tlemen in wntting, clothed in crimson satin and looking very impressive in deed. Rooms that wore frescoed to tho very floors ?iuiuly gave place to rooms hung with splendid tapestries of inesti mable value. It began to look liko bu siness. The chambers wore hoatod with the great brazen pots of coals, such as ono meets with in all tho Italian galle ries and in tho churches, whon tho ohurohes aro heated at all. Those bra ziers look a little heathenish, and nre none the less interesting for that rea son. Thoy aro big enough for human sacrifices, some of them, but they aro seldom hot enough to hurt." A Doubter. Thoro was a man who lived in Cass county, Georgin, many years ago, who had once been in the state legislature, and nover negleotod an opportunity to' emphasizo tho fnot. Ho was a perfect infidel as to now discoveries and now sciences, being well satisfied that if the world should turn ovor tho water would spill out of his well, and only giviug in to steam oarB by slow dogreos. But all the vials of h<s contempt were poured out upon the idea of a telogrnph, and he was wont to Bay that nobody need try to come " tho greon" ovor him in that way, for ho had ueen to tho leg islature. Finally tho istate road was built, and ono day workmen began to put up telegraph poBts right in tho front of tho house and to stretch the wire. His exultant noighbors thought thoy had him on that, occasion, and asked, " Well, old follow, what do you think of telegraphs now?" Ho was cor nered, but diod gamo. Drawing him solf up an inch taller, ho said, " Gon tleraeu, whon I was in tho legislature I gave this subject my vory attentive con sideration, and I said then, as I Bay now, that it may do for lotters and small bundles, but it will never take a cotton balo. novor !" JAMES LIOK'S CAREER. The Enterprise by Which the Putlan throphlst Accumulated III* Mtllluus. From "FirstSteamship Pioneers." James Lick lias been among the most noteworthy of all our earliest pioneers. Naturally modest and. reticent to the last degree, nearly all the acts of his eventful life have remained unnoticed until recently. We first find him in the interior of Pennsylvania, a young married man, quietly pursuing a course of operations, evincing great enterprise in their planning, untiring energy in their execution, and promising great advantages. in their results. We next find him in the pampas of Brazil and Buenos Ayres, with his thousands of horses and cattle, in tho capacity of a great proprietor, from whom the gov ernments of those countries derived their supplies for the cavalry and their commis8iaiiat. Again, we find him on the other side of the continent, oper ating in the commercial metropolis of Chili and Peru ;'everywhere and at all times, so quiet and so unobtrusive, that none savo those with whom he had transactions in business,[and those who observed the external improvements wrought by his enterprises would bo aware of his existence. His mode, in all departments of life, has never been in a rut, but aui generis. In Valpa raiso he was not only doing now things, but doing them in his own way. And, strange as it may seem in such a quiet mau, lie was always reaching into en terprises in advance of others, " taking time by tho fore-lock." When the news of the gold discovery in California reaohed Valparaiso, he was in business that wonld have taken an ordinary man a scries of months, at least, to so close up that he could leavo it with any so it, of consistency, yet he put dr.nblooDS enough in his trunk to make $20,000, besides the expenses of the trip, en trusted his business to a confidential friend, and stepped on board the first vessel leaving his place for San Fran cisco. Arriving here he found exactly what his sagacious mind had predicted from tho moment that tho golden news reaohed him, viz : a splendid opportu nity to invost in real estate. He" scan ned the situation, foresaw the growth of the town, selected his " corner lots" with great good judgment, and invested his money. The property he then pur chased with $20,000 is perhaps to-day worth many millions. In the first few years ho built sparingly and with great can; : afterward, liberally and magnifi cently. In 1853, John B. Weller, U. S. senator from California, said, in his placo, " I would not give six bits for all tho agricultural lands in California." At this very time Mr. Lick was prepar ing the foundations for a flouring mill in Santa Clara county, which, with its massive foundations, fine burr-stones and interior finishings of solid mahoga ny, had, before it was completed, cost him half a million of dollras. This done, ho took fifty acres of adjoining land, reduced its surface to a spirit level, and sot, by the square and com pass, with his own hands, tho whole with the choicest varieties of pear treeB. These operations, and numerous others, proved very remunerative. He subse quently erected the magnificent hotel in this oity which boars his name. Re cently his nots have placed him in the front rank of philanthropists of this or any conntry. Ho gave to the society of California Pioneers the lot on Mont gomery street, on which Pioneer hall stands. Mr. Ijiok has boon for many months in poor health, but has dovoted all his attention to the arrangement of plans for the disposal of his wealth in a man ner to sooure the greatest amount of good to tho ooming generations of his fellow men. The Prospects for California Wines. Tho San Francisco Bulletin has the following remarks upon this subject: A few days ago tho telegraph reported that the wines in the yards of Franco had been seriously injured by frost, and the prospect of another short vintage was the* result. Last year the vine yards in the southern departments of Franco and in tho German Rhenish provinces suffered considerably from tho same cause, the vintage in some sections falling short nearly two-thirds of the average. If the present reports con corning tho Fr noh vineyards are true, tho probability is that the Gorman vineyards have not escaped. Should that prove to be tho case, the coming vintage will bo a repetition of last year's experience. There is a possibility, how ever, that French wine dealers will bo again resorting to tho tactic? practiced by them for the last ten or twolvo years ?circulating talso reports relative to the grape crop for tho purposo of ptiff cning tho prioos of French wines. What effoot a short vintage in Europe this year will have upon California wines is difficult to predict. Last year tho Gal ifornia vintage did not excoad 5,000,000 gallons, or 50 per cent Icbb than tho av erage, yet there was no appreciable change in prices, notwithstanding the failuro of European vines. This coinci dent failure in the grapo crop ought to have done the vinionlturist some good, in tho way of a hotter price for what he was ablo to turn out of his presses. The only efftot it did havo was to givo him a readior sale at former prioes. Had tho vintage boon a full one, or had there been no damage don'.' to tho European vineyards, tho ohanoes aro that thero wonld have been a universal tumblo in the prices of tho whole lino of native wines. California vineyards this yoar Eromiflo well. Tho vintago will proba ly bo tho largest ovor harvested in tho state. Tho vineyards of Los Angeles, Anaheim aud Cuoumonga, wh'ch suf fered exceedingly last year from frosts, are this year in full beniing, whilo So noma vineyards give promise of yield ing extraordinary crops. Competent juagef? estimate that the yield will not be less than 12,000,000 gallons of wine. The quantity of brandy manufactured in addition will dopend entirely on the nature of the tax imposed on the dis tillers. At least 100,000 gallons of brandy are estimated to have been thrown away last year in the form of re fuse from the presses, which could not be profitably worked off in consequence of the excessive tax levied. Cheap News. "As easy as lying," says Hamlet. This is one of those happy touches ot Shakspeare that seem slight and acci dental, while furnishing a fruitful text to all after-time. Self-observant per sons are aware of the ease with which exaggeration and other varieties of false hood slip from the tongue, and the ex treme difficulty of giving ah exaot ao oount of the simplest matter. And this difficulty is greatest to ardent and im aginative persons, who naturally take to writing. The very qualities of mind which give them their power to interest other minds are, in many instances, the qualities that incline them to pictures que and effective exaggeration. Telling the simple truth is the, hardest thing done either by tongue or pen. How easy it was to represent Napoleon Bona parte galloping over the Alps on a ro buef charger, gorgeously caparisoned, his cloak flying in the breeze, and com pact legions pressing up tho steep accli vity ! This lie was imagined in a mo ment ; but it cost M. Thiers much pain ful toil and long travel to ascertain that his conqueror crossed tho Alps on a mule, muffled to the eyes in his cloak, and attendod by one guide on foot. l'n tho press, as in literature, false hood has the additional advantage over truth of being muoh the less expensive. Your raw hand will bring you in an ao count of a finanoe meeting which shall bo of necessity a mere tissue of miscon ceptions nnd miostatements. To get an approximately true narrative of what oocurred, without verbatim reports, you must send three persons of tiained in telligence ; but a full and exaot report, with the requisite desoriptivo matter, demands the intense labor of twelve train d men. Now the account stands thus : tissue of green falsehood, two dollars; vivid narrative strongly resem bling the truth, thirty dollars; verbatim report, eighty dollars. In every de partment of a newspaper, from the most commonplace reporting to the most im portant criticism, we find that lies are very oheap and truth is very dear. We must also bear in mind that if ly ing is easy, it may also be for the mo ment highly effective. That tawdry falsehood of Bonaparte bounding over the mountains adorns at this hour hun dreds of barber-shops in all countries, as the tale, equally groundless, of Lin ?^n and the Scotch cap figures in many histories of the late war. Some men of very ordinary abilities do suoo?ied, after long practice, in purging their conver sation of the usual exaggerations and and credulities ; but even this negative part of a difficult virtue is apt to be purchased by the loss of vivaoity. Their conversation is as dull as it is correct. But the journalist lies under an inex orable necessity of not being dull. In correct he may be, to a certain extent, and live ; but if he is dull, he dies. And, unhappily, there are three ways open to the journalist of avoiding dull ness ; two wrong and one right. The right way is vigilance, taot, and hard labor in tho gathering nnd utterance of truth proper to be told. The two wrong ways domand vastly inferior powers. Ono is the invention or repetition of falsehood, and the other tho revelation of matters not proper to be told. A fertile and sympathetio mind, capable of public spirit, finds tho material for stirring and delightful journalism in a village; bnt there are dull dogs that, even when posted in Washington, tho most interesting capital in the world, are compelled to eke out their daily dole of routine by calumnious inven tion. ?Jamea Parton, in Harper's Mag azine. Hand-shaking. How did peoplo get in the habit of shaking hands? The answer is not far to seek. In early and barbarous times, when every savage or semi-savage was his own lawgiver, judge, soldier and policeman, and had to watch over his own safety, in default of all other pro tection, two friends nnd acquaintances, or two strangers desiring to be friends and acquaintances, when they ohanced to meet, offered each to the other tho right hand, tho hand alike of offense and defense, the hand that wields tho 8word, the dagger, the club, the toma hawk, or other weapons of war. Each did this to show that tho hand was empty, and neither war nor treachery was intended. A man can not well stab another while ho is in the aot of shak ing hands with him, unless ho be a donble-oyod traitor and villain, and strives to aim a oowardly blow with the left whilo giving tho right and protend ing to bo on good terms with his victim. The custom of baud shaking prevails more or less amongall civilized nations, and is the tacit avowal of friendship and good will, just as a kiss is of a warmer passion. Ladies, every one must have remarked, seldom or never shake hands with tho cordiality of gentlemen, unless it be with eaoh other. Tho reason is obvious. It is for them to receive hom age, not to givo it. Thoy can not be ex pected to show to persons of the other sex a warmth of greeting whioh might bo misinterpreted, uulos& such persons aro very cloaely related to them by family or affection, in which case hand shaking is not needed, and tho lips do more agreeable duty. FACTS AND FANCIES. ?Two million bushels of peanuts axe every year dovoured in the United' States. ?" Do you like the piano ?" some ono asked Theophile Oautior. " I per fer it to the guillotine," was the reply of the poet. ?The clergy cost the United States 812,080,000 annually; tho criminals, 840,000.000 : the lawyers, $70,000,000; rum, $200,000,000. ?It was an expressive remark of a practical man regarding the woman of the period recently: " She doesn't know enough, sir, to boil water." ?" Where do wioked little boys go : to who fish on Sunday ?" asked a teach er in a - Snnday school. "Down to. U nl lota's Riffle," was the prompt reply. ?A. D. 1900. Soene before a crema tion undertakers shop : Small boy? "I say, sir, is dad done yet? If ho is, please put his ashes in this ' ore tin ko t-' tie." ?A correspondent asks : " What takes up more room On a sidewalk now adays than a fashionably-dressed fe male ?" Answer?A boy in a new pair of boots." ?A commeroial writer suggests that the hides of cremated porsons might be utilized. This awful suggestion gath ers foroo from the faot that the skins of many people have already been tanned. ?A physician of skill and experience says a mustard plaster should never be mixed with hot water, but with the white of eggs; and when so prepared does its duty as a counter-irritant with out producing the anguish of a blister, as in the old method. ?A New Bedford paper tells a story about a shop-keeper, who advised a customer to liavo two mohair switches instead of one, as the article was be coming scarce. He said that the man whom he hired to hunt moes had only caught two within a fortnight. ?A gentleman who oame several thousand miles to view Texas with the ' purpose of purchasing, got a large-Bized red ant on him, and, stranger as he was, he cavorted around and used ?s appro priate language as if he had lived there ' all his life, and moved in the best of society. ?The N. O. Picayune doesn't know why it is that yonng men always con sider it necessary to grin when they are talking to the other sex. Nobody can smirk and grin at every word he utters without losing every one of those pecu liarities which originally distinguished him from the chimpanzee. ?A very prosaio and matter-of-fact clergyman recently remarked that if "all the bones of the victims of intem perance could be gathered and made in to a pyramid, no plain could be large enough for its base to rest upon, and the planets would have to bo swept aside to make room for its apex." ?Iodine and oantharides will remove warts, bnt not so fast as a buzz-saw. Hot lemonade will take the velvet off a bad cold, but if hot whisky wouldn't do it just as well, bad colds would be scarcer. Gray hairs silver the evening of life, but that was before the Pooa hontas coloring fluid was discovered. ?A gentle Quaker had two horses, a very good and a very poor one. When seen riding the latter, it turned out that his better half had taken tho good one, " What 1" said a sneering bach elor, " how comes it that you let your wife ride tho better horse ?" The only reply was: "Friend, when thee be married thee'll know." ?A sly old boy, aged eighty, was be fore a London court for breaoh of promise lately. The only thing that saved him was tho economical method of his spelling in his letters. When he wanted to say " May God bless you ond kisses," be only wrote "M. G. B. U. and K." " M. D." in his letters signi fied "my dear," and "L. P." "little pot." ?A rather singular present received by a bride laBt week, was a life insur ance policy for 810,000 on her husband's life. Tho poor little thing, all iule and orange blossoms, wept when nho. saw it, and continued to do so until her mamma whispered something in her ear. Then she raised her eyebrows, sweetly smiled, and tripped up stairs to put the polioy carefully away. ?A policeman in Detroit heard that a oitizen had been badly injured, and ho called at the house to obtain particulars. He found the man lying on the lonngo, with his head bound up, and his face badly scratched. He. asked : " What is tho matter ? Did he get run over,.or fall down stairs ?" " No, not exaotly," replied his wife ; "but he wanted to run the house his way, and I wanted to run it my way ; and there he is." ?A. writer in an exchange deserves the respectful sympathy of all gentle^ men who give out their washing. He says : " It is awfully annoying to have some other fellow's clothes left in one's room by the washerwoman. Saturday we put on another fellow's shirt, bnt couldn't wear it. Although it was ruf fled around tho bottom, the sleeves were too short to button cuffs on, and there was no place for a oollar." ?Brooklyn has abolished its system of eduoating young men and women in the same school-room. The reason given for the ohange is that the system has proved promotive of immorality. The experience of St.. Louis in the co education of the sexe?- is quite different from this. There tho association has produced an emulation of the most healthful and desirable oharaeter. Bos ton, too, wo think, has found tho system practicable. Brooklyn must hnvo man aged very badly ; though, perhaps, tho fault may lie in her climate.