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THE COO LIDO E EXAMINER
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CORRECTS HERSELF AND SB'. P.RSc LAW REMARKS TC; I -i!?S IN® &A&V TALK ANI
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ffyß HE® JIJJf A I'"'' -EAV-O VEW QLCKLY (Copyright. by The Bell Syndicate, lr
i " fell
Mr. and Mrs. Penley were honest,
•ard-worklng farmer folks, liy self
lenlri they had managed to send
the!/ son to Harvard. One day a
Utter arrived. "I know you will be
pleased.*' wrote the son. “to learn
tha. I have won the squash cham- j
“Well, well!” beamed Father Pen
ley. "We'll make a farmer out of
that boy yet, mother.”
Wee Betty -Mother, I feel so
Mother— Ex cl ted, dear? I don't
think you know what excited means. |
Wee Itetty—Why. It's being in a
hurry all over.
"Doctor.” said the post who nl
ways was trying to get free medical
advice. "I have the queerest noises
in my head; what do you suppose
“Maybe the wheels In there need
oiling.” he snapped.
Farmer Bentover That drouth
cost us over 6.000 bushels of wheat.
Mrs. Bentover —Yes, but there Is
nothing without some good. During
that dry spell we could at least get
iwme salt out of the shakers!
'Tw»i Ever Thus
“You look worried. What’s the
"Ding It. my doctor Just told me
I've got to quit worrying or else."
SLUSH FUND. OF COURSE
: - 2W L
iW }l ! I
hPJ — j
City Official —\Y here are we to get
the money for cleaning the streets
after these heavy snows?
Assistant—Out of the slush fund,
Cate of Necettity
“What was the inspiration for your
success?” the rich man was asked.
“Well, frankly.” he grinned. “It
was the meals my wife cooked when
we were first married. 1 realized
i right off I’d have to earn enough to
hire a cools If I didn’t want to die
“This is a retail store. Isn’t It,”
j asked the old lady.
“Certainly, madam,” said the clerk.
"Well," said she, “some friends
gave my grandson this pup, and it
has had its tail cut off and I want it
He—l’ve Just been reading some
>tatistics. Do you know that every
time my watch ticks, a man dies.
She—For goodness sake, let It run
down. —Royal Arcanum Bulletin.
Did He Get the Job?
Employer—Personal appearance is
a helpful factor In business success.
Employee—Yes, and business suc
cess Is a helpful factor in personal
The Aniwer to That One
"Were you ever kissed?” the old
naid was asked.
“Well, If I should die tomorrow It
would not be from curiosity," she re
So It Goes
Barney—Did the doctor cure Kelly
Tim—He did. Now Kelly can’t
*leep nights wondering how he’s go
ing to pay the doctor!
Equality for All
Friend —How’s the boy since he
came back from college?
Man—Fine! Still treats us as
IN SATIN FROCK
Probably about now you have de
cided that you Just must have a
satin frock. You’re right! And hero
Is the model you have been seeking
In which to make It It Is a dress
you can wear afternoon or evenlqg
and always look smart. The Jabot Is
not Just an ordinary Jal>ot but some
thing cut in one with the yoke and
Joined In the bodice on new and
very chic principles. The sleeves,
too, do things differently, and while
there Is nothing different about the
pleats at the bottom of the skirt,
front nnd back, they afford graceful
movement for the slim panels.
Pattern 2029 Is available in sizes
10, IS, 20, 34, 30, 38. 40, 42. 44 and
40. Size 30 takes 4V6 yards 39 Inch
fabric. Illustrated step-by-step sew
ing Instructions included.
Send FIFTEEN CENTS (15c) In
coins or stamps (coins preferred)
for this pattern. Write plainly name,
address and style number. BE SURE
TO STATE SIZE.
Address orders to Sewing Circle
Pattern Department, 243 West Sev
enteenth Street, New York City.
“You can learn a great deal from
old songs.” remarked the light-heart
"They may be misleading,” an
swered Senator Sorghum. "When
posterity revives ‘We Have No Ba
nanas’ a large number of persons
may be led to infer that with all
our crop failures the most we have
had a contend with was a scarcity
of tropical fruit." —Washington Star.
"llpw Is your son getting on In his
“First rate.” answered Farmer
Corntossel. “He knows more about
the business now than the boss does.
All he has to do is convince the
Caller—l would like to see the
Secretary—l’m sorry, sir, but be Is
Caller—But, my man, my errand
Secretary—lt can’t be helped, sir.
His Honor Is at steak.—Pearson’s
“You have been getting some bad
advice in business."
“I have," answered Mr. Dustin
Stax. “I had a highbrow group of
advisers. But highbrows are always
suspected of high-hat Inclinations.
Instead of a brain trust I got merely
a brain crust”
She Wat Willing
Curate (admiring a bowl of bulbs)
—How lovely to think it will soon be
opening rime, Mrs. Bird.
Mrs. Binks—Well, now, and who
ever would have thought of you say
in’ a thing like that! But I’m game
to pop out for a quick one if you
feel like It. —London Tit-Bits.
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