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ADVENTURERS' CLUB JED HEADLINES FROM THE LIVES MWI* OF PEOPLE LIKE YOURSELF! “ Death by Proxy " By FLOYD GIBBONS Famous Headline Hunter Hello everybody: There’s only one thing I know that’s less profitable than being a burglar, and that’s just posing as one. And Distinguished Adventurer Willard G. Stanton of Bloomfield, N. J., ought to agree with me there. Once upon a time, when Bill was a youngster of sixteen, he tried that little stunt. Not purposely, of course. Bill’s intentions were per fectly O. K. But it doesn’t make any difference what your intentions are. If you look like a burglar, or if you act like a burglar, first thing you know somebody is going to think you ARE a burglar and treat you accordingly. Back in 1907, when this adventure happened to Bill, he lived in an old fashioned apartment house in Brooklyn. At least it would look old fashioned today. At that time it was probably the last word in apart ment houses. It had a stairway running up the center of the building, and there were two apartments to the floor. The doors of the living rooms opened on the stair landing, and the outer doors were fitted with ground glass panels. The glass was opaque. You couldn't exactly see through it. But when you were on the inside looking out you could tell when some one was at the door, because you could see a shadow of a human figure against the glass. Remember those panels. They've got a lot to do with the story. Burglars Alarmed the Old Ladies. Bill’s family had an apartment on the fourth and top floor of that building. Across the hall lived two old ladies—retired school teachers— one of whom was slightly deaf. Remember that deaf old lady, too. Bullets Whizzed Over Bill's Head. Between her and the glass panels. Old Lady Adventure managed to cool up quite a thrill for Bill Stanton. About three o’clock one November morning, Bill was awakened out of a sound sleep by a loud, insistent pounding. As he came out of a half-doze, he realized that the pounding came from the wall, on the other side of which the two old ladies slept. Something was wrong in their apartment! Bill jumped out of bed and went into his own living room. Then he saw what the trouble was. On the ground glass panels of the door leading to the hall he could see two shadowy figures. They were over by the door of the old ladies’ apartment and they seemed to be trying to jimmy the lock. So that was it! Burglars, trying to get in next door! The old ladies had heard them and pounded on the wall to attract Bill’s attention. Bill called out, “Who’s there?” and began rattling the door hnob. The two figures moved noiselessly to the stairs and be gan to descend. Bill was sixteen, and impetuous. He ran out of his apartment and started to follow the two men down the stairs. “Right there.” he says, "is where my adventuring career started.” Bill Was in a Tight Place. Bill followed the crooks down two flights of stairs, but they were too fast for him. He was in pajamas, and he couldn’t very well dash out into the street after them anyway. Not on a cold night in November. He turned around and went slowly back up the stairs. Bill got to the top and put his hand on the doorknob. The door was locked. In his haste to follow the two men he had slammed it behind him. In his pajamas and without a key in his pocket, it looked as if he was going to have some trouble getting back in. He stood for a moment considering his plight, and then, suddenly he heard a voice coming from the next apartment. It was one of the old ladies—the deaf one—and her tone was omi nous. “If you don’t go away,” she yelled. ‘Til shoot.” All at once Bill realized what a tight situation he was in. The old lady could see his shadow through the glass door and thought he was one of the departed burglars. He knew she kept a gun in her apartment and didn’t have any doubt that she would do just what she threatened to do. Shot At by a Deaf Woman. "I thought 1 had a good pair of lungs,” says Bill, “and I screamed back: ‘Don’t shoot. It’s me.’ But I didn’t count on that old lady being deaf. Before I had a chance to get in an other word I heard a loud report and a bullet came crashing through the door. It was followed by two more. Then I dropped flat on the floor, and while I lay there, three more shots imbed ded themselves in the wall over my head.” The shots stopped then, but Bill lay right where he was, afraid to Stir lest the slightest motion bring more of that hot lead his way. Then, inside his own apartment, he heard his mother open a window and start screaming for the police. Still Bill stayed where he was. Courage is one thing, but when a panic-stricken old lady starts blazing away right and left with a revolver, there isn’t any sense in giving her a mark to shoot at. Bill lay right where he was until the police came. Then he got up again. He looked himself over and was relieved to find that he hadn’t been hit by any of those wild bullets, but he found an ominous little hole In the sleeve of his pajamas that showed just how close he had come to having a funeral instead of just an adventure. ' And now adays,” says Bill, “when there is any burglar hunting to be done, I do it by telephone.” Copyright.—WNU Service. Finland's Name The name Finland has nothing to do with the fin of a fish, as one might be excused for thinking at first glance. True, the country has a long seacoast bordering on the Baltic, but inland there are many lakes surrounded by marshes and connected by glistening streams and canals. Many years ago re gions like this were called fens. Thus the little country in the north ern part of Europe became known as fen-land, or marsh-land, and, as the years passed and people spoke carelessly, its name changed to Fin land. El Templete in Havana El Templete in Havana dates from 1827 and commemorates the la»ding at Puerta Caranas of Don Diego Velazquez in 1519. An obe lisk bears an inscription commemo rating the mass sung at the town meeting held at the time in the shade of a giant siba tree. A tree shading El Templete is believed to be a slip from the original tree, cut down in 1753. , Brides Sold by Weight In some gypsy villages in Yugo slavia girl brides are sold by weight, the sale being held when the girls reach a marriageable age, says Pearson's London Weekly. The average price is between 2 pence and 3 pence a pound, the higher ; price being paid for girls who can dance and sing as well as cook, i To prevent cheating, the gypsy chief ’ keeps the weighing scales under i lock and key. The sale of girl | brides is a recognized practice in | Yugoslavia, but only in gypsy vil | lages are their values assessed by weight. Caterpillars Can Hear This statement has been made be : cause experiments have shown that ; these insects have the ability to hear; for certain sounds result in | sudden movements of the body. Hairs that absorb sound are pro | vided in place of ears. In experi ments, when these hairs w’ere coat ’ ed with shellac and noises were made, the caterpillar did not re . Boond. Looking l T p at the Old Man of the Mountain. "Second Greatest Show on Earth" Barnum Called New England Range Prepared by National Geographic Society, | Washington. D. C.—WNU Service SINCE 1866 visitors to the White mountains have ascended Mount Wash ington, New England’s high est eminence, to scan the sea of northern New Hamp shire peaks. Soon another grandstand will be available i when the new tramway to the top of Cannon mountain ; which will whisk passengers 2,025 feet above Franconia Notch begins operation. “This is the second greatest show ion earth.” P. T. Barnum said when ihe stood on the summit of Mount j Washington and scanned the jumble jof peaks and ridges of the White | mountains, spreading from the | waistline of New Hampshire to Can ada and from its Maine border to ; the Connecticut valley, which sep i arates this Granite state from Ver mont. Many New Englanders, dyed-in j the-wool White mountain fans who j insist that nowhere has nature en | dowed a region with such fascinat ing heights, on first thought ques tioned Barnum’s judgment. To them, the White mountains’ show is |second to none. However, when they recalled the j showman's love for his trained ani- i | mals, gaudy trappings, and strange j ; creations of nature that drew mil- j j lions into his acres of canvas, they j I felt that his exclamation was the j highest praise. Origin of the Name a Mystery. How and when the White moun tains got their name is as mysteri ous as many of their often-told leg ends. "White mountains” appeared in a manuscript as early as 1672; and even before that time they were called the “White hills” by mariners on the Atlantic, 60 miles away, for whom they formed an important landmark. To modern eyes, too, the name seems apt, whether it be derived from the white mist that often hangs over the higher peaks, from the whitish-gray effect of the sun upon | rocks of the mountain tops above i the timberline, or from the snow i that normally covers the peaks of I the Presidential range for eight or nine months of the year. The White mountains are divided into two distinct areas. Between Plymouth on the south | and the vicinity of Gorham on the | north is the high mountain region i where every year more than two | million men and women enjoy test ing their leg muscles among New England's highest peaks, motoring on excellent highways, and utilizing the scores of recreational facilities, or just looking up from spacious hotel verandas toward the lofty em inences sweeping from quiet val leys. Beyond Gorham is a challenging wilderness with Dixville notch its • crowning glory and Berlin its only large population center. Here is the paradise of the sportsman searching ; streams and lakes for trout, salmon, . pickerel, horned pout, perch, and small-mouthed bass. The forests shelter bears, deer, and ruffed grouse. It is the high mountain area that has been the White mountains’ chief ; lure to vacationists for more than a »: century. 1 Praised by the Great, “We know our mountains are not the highest in the East,” a resident recently remarked to a visitor. , ’’Mount Mitchell in North Carolina and several peaks in the Great Smoky Mountains National park slightly top Mount Washington. But THE COOLIDGE EXAMINER ] the impressions of Hawthorne, Whit ! tier. General Grant. Webster, Mark Twain, Winston Churchill, and scores of other men outstanding in politics, literature, and the arts of their day certainly warrant the en thusiasm of those of us who see the White mountains in every mood.” "But Grant came to the moun tains for relief from hay fever,” said the visitor. "That is true, but he, like many others, then and now, came here without knowing the mountains, and left with an indelible impression of their lofty summits, their tree-clad slopes, their cascades, lakes, and scenic curiosities, and their legends that have inspired multitudes of artists, writers, and just plain peo ple.” Darby Field, a son of Erin, was the first man to conquer the heights of Mount Washington, highest peak in the White mountains. It thrusts its summit 6,288 feet above the sea and a mile above the valleys at its base. It was just 22 years after the May- ! flower had deposited its human i cargo on the shores of Massachu- j setts when Field struck out from the coast on one of his many trips into ; the unknown wilderness that lay immediately behind colonial vil- i lages. Some settlers feared to wander j ] far from their settlements, but Dar by Field was one of those bold ad | venturers for whom even the hard ! life of the colonist was too tame, j He was accompanied by two In | dian guides. On a June day in 1642, Field stood on the summit of Mount Washington. As the Colonies grew and demand ed wood for building, for paper, and for other manufactures, lumbermen carelessly swung their axes over the W’hite mountain slopes and stripped them of their trees. All but a few thousand acres of primeval forest were cut over. The forests one sees today are largely second growth, but no long er are they in jeopardy. “Great Stone Face.” Mount Washington is admittedly the dominating feature of the White mountains and nearly every visitor to northern New Hampshire hopes to stand on its summit. But if your ‘ time is short and storm clouds j thwart that hope, there are scores ! j of other features that are well worth 1 | a ramble among the heights. Chief among these is the Profile, ; popularly known as the “Old Man of the Mountain,” or as Hawthorne's j “Great Stone Face,” peering from ! the rugged granite ledges of Profile mountain above the .highway j through Franconia notch. It was a man’s appetite for par tridge for breakfast that led to the discovery of the Profile in 1805. Na thaniel Hall was a member of a ! road-building crew. Early in the morning he shouldered his gun and left camp. With only a well-browned par tridge on his mind, he silently crept along the shore of a small lake, his eyes penetrating the undergrowth. For some reason unknown to Hall he looked up—and for a moment was stunned by “the most wonderful face” he had ever seen. News of the discovery spread j rapidly over New England. The; road Hall was working on wasj pushed through the notch. Men and ! women came on horseback, by stage, carriage, and cart. The | popularity of the Profile was one of the factors that influenced the build ing of a railroad into the Franconia region and the erection of the fa mous Profile house, since destroyed by fire. OP>SEW 4*"" Ruth Wyeth Spears cJ?sr> I •/ " 3. AA'A'cA , fy t t i (f c'Hm&mm T J rfr r T"» = i tJIBpL I AA7//7Z//ZM qwV/xa A hfr- ■ Bright Embroidered Borders for Towels "THESE borders you will find •* easy to make. All six strands of six-strand mercerized emoroidery thread are used. Crease l a 4 inch hems first. Draw threads of the material to make straight guide lines for the embroidery. Sew the hems by hand after the embroid ery is done. The top border is royal blue and turkey red. To make the straight lines at the sides, couch blue thread in place with red as at A. The loop stitches along the edge are made as at B. The vertical loops are red and the smaller hori zontal loops blue. The fish-bone i stitch in the center is made in red as at C. The lower border is light yellow and orange. The edge lines are yellow, couched in place with or ; ange. The alternating groups of yellow and orange ray stitches along the edge are made as at D. For the center chain make evenly spaced yellow stitches in double j Wise and Otherwise Old rhyme revised: He who yields the right of way will live to walk another day. Some young men only come out of their shell when a girl eggs them on. Mighty few women are “talked j about” as much as they would like people to think. Some people go wrong through poverty. Others because they just coin money. Office-boys nowadays never say their grandmothers are dead but only dying—in case there is a re- ; play. Why is it a course in husbandry at the state college leads to a bachelor’s degree? Prison motto: A stitch in “time” makes shoes. THE CHEERFUL CHERUB Im $1 tA tktut I ctJ-N be pleiu-sed \Jit\ s joys oF tbe simpler .sort - Why, killing mosqvitoes tit nitfhx Is my Favorite. a indoor •4 r 4 ( ) sport ! (“ > J m** WNU Service. ~*N "THEL LO W S who catch r #C/ / THAT PRINCE albertA fcb^oTuUTt WmM ( AROMA _THAT RA. MILD- 1 spread the good news,” NESS AND GOOD, RICH / ’ JfiF T - TASTt! y ES SIR _ ITS ) ford the best tobacco be r jjjp ' ~ y -rr.il. li, , r 11 <k»pyn«r»t ly3t*. KJ. Keyooid# Tobacco Company. Wio*too-fial«tß. N. C. fli wij 111 Hj Smoking Fringe Albert |Si 22T 5 THE NATIONAL JOY SMOKE : SO TASTY thread as at E, then weave orange thread through them as at F. Readers who have received their copy of Mrs. Spears’ book on Sewing, for the Home Decorator, will be pleased to know that Book No. 2 is now ready. Ninety em broidery stitches are illustrated; fabric repairing ; also table set- ! tings; gifts; and many things to make for yourself and the chil dren. If you like hand work you will be pleased with this unique book of complete directions for every article illustrated. Price 25 cents postpaid (coin preferred). Ask for Book 2 and address Mrs. Spears, 210 S. Desplaines St., Chi cago, 111. All for a Friend Though time be precious to me, as all irrevocable good things de serve to be. and of all other things I would not be lavish of it, yet I will account no time lost that is either lent to or bestowed upon my friend.—Bishop Hall. ASK ME O A Quiz With Answers j « T/NmTTrin S Offering Information ANOTHER f on Various Subjects A The Questions 1. What was the Charter Oak? 2. What is the world’s most an cient democracy? 3. How and when did the United j States acquire Florida? 4. What is the total world’s pro duction of radium? 5. What ancient philosopher ' prophesied the income tax? 6. Was there a political party in ! America named Locofocos? 7. What does Tia Juana mean? 8. What is a plunker vote? 9. How many observation tow- I ers are maintained by the United j States forest service? 10. Who is the patron saint of aviation? The Answers 1. A tree in Hartford, Conn., in j which the Colonial charter was hid. | 2. Switzerland is the world's | most ancient democracy. 3. By purchase from Spain in 1819. 4. Approximately 750 grams, j which would be 1.65 pounds. 5. Plato said, “When there is | an income tax, the just man will ■. ■ ~. ■ ■■ . MISCELLANEOUS CHINA— ULASSWAKE— ETC. UTENSILS, SILVER. FIXTURES for Restaurants. Bars. Hotels Clubs Write for on r catalog ItFXT/U H l\i M'PPLV COMPANY 1436 Larimer Street - - Denver, laiormlo PATENTS R. H. GALBREATH. registered p.itent attorney, 1545 Glenarm St., Denver, Colo. Accounts Collected Slow and bad accounts collected No col lection—no charge. National Adjusters. Railway Exch. Bldg., Denver. Colorado. Rubber Stamps and Seals Rubber stamps, seals, stencils—l day serv ice. Callahan's, 923 17th St... Denver. Colo. ANTI-FAT TABLETS ANTIFAT TABLETS, 2 months Supply $5. Send for folder. Clara Stanton. Druggist to Women, 311 llth St., Denver, Colo. - STAMPS DO VOl! HAVE OLD LETTERS STORED away 7 They are worth money Send 10c for price list F. W. MARSH, 009 SO. GAYLORD. DENVER. COLO. ARMY STORES WRITE FOR FREE 1938 CATALOG DENVER ARMY STORE Cor. 15th & Larimer Sts, Denver. Col*. PERSONAL REDUCE SENSIBLY I Chart and information free. Write DR. IVENDT, Canton, Sonth Dakota. Machine Shorthand INDIVIDUALIZED SECRETARIAL Training Instruction that has produced better trained Stenographers si-nce 1935. THE DENVER STENOTYPE SCHOOL 1512 Stout Street Denver, Colorado. HOTELS TftllßQ urvrri Rates from #I.OO I uunj nui E.L. E. H. McGlenatmn.Prop. 1508 Lincoln Stmt - DENVER. COLORADO On Highway 40. Across from Capitol, Block east of Broadway. Civic Center, Municipal Building. Dixie Coffee Shop Next Door HOTEL MARQUETTE * DENVER,^OLOI Absolutely Fireproof —■ Rates SI.OO up SCHOOLS DENVER SCHOOL of BUSINESS 1608 Broadway, Denver Exceptional individualised training | Moderate rates Monthly installments Kree I placement service. • Write for free information. - 9 pay more and the unjust less on the same amount of income.” 6. The Locofocos party was in existence in the United States from 1824 to 1835. 7. Tia Juana means‘‘Aunt Jane” in Spanish. 8. A plunker or plumper vote is a vote given to one or jnore can didates with the idea of improv ing their chance of election, through voting for less than the possible number. For example, if . you vote for one when you could have voted for nine, you increase his chances at the expense of all the others, but only to the extent of one vote. 9. The United States forest serv ice maintains 3,014 lookout towers. 10. Our Lady of Loretto was chosen as the patron saint of avia tion in 1920. Suitable Temper He is happy whose circum stances suit his temper; but he is more excellent who can suit his temper to any circumstance.— Hume.