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HEADLINES FROAA THE LIVES O F PEOPLE LIKE YOURSELF! “Mad Week-End" By FLOYD GIBBON'S Famous Headline Hunter Hello everybody: Talk about being in a tough spot! Here’s just about the toughest one I ever heard of. Suzanne Mathias of New York City contributes this tale to the column and becomes a Distinguished Adventurer on the strength of it. As far as Suzanne is concerned, the only redeeming feature of this experience is that a number of other people shared it with her. It was down in Miami in December. 1929. A crowd of Suzanne’s friends had clubbed together and chartered a boat for a week-end fishing trip. It was an old boat of the cabin cruiser type with plenty of bunks in it, and the party sailed at midnight on the captain's assurance that, by morning he'd have them at a spot where there’d be plenty of good fishing. When they awoke next morning they were out of sight of land. The only thing that showed on the horizon was a small island that looked as if it might be one of the Florida Keys. Suzanne asked the captain w’here they were, and he told her they were about 90 miles from Miami, but he didn’t say in what direction. Their Captain Was Crazy. And shortly after that, things began to happen. “The first Inkling We had that anything was wrong," Suzanne says, "came from -my mother who was chaperoning the trip. She came up and U3 what we knew about the captain. She had been talking to nim. she said, when suddenly he began raving—saying that his son was “The High Priest of the Temple," and that his father was the right hand man to the king of Sweden. A couple of us decided to investigate, and started a casual conversation with the captain. After talking with him a few minutes we were left in no doubt. He was CRAZY AS A LOON!” That didn't look so good. Ninety miles out at sea—out of sight of land—and totally at the mercy of a crazy boat captain. The whole crowd agreed that the best thing to do was to put back to Miami. But the captain didn't agree with them. He flatly refused to move thfe boat, and said a few things more. too. He told them that not one of them knew The captain appeared with a gun in his hand. a thing about navigation and couldn’t run the boat by themselves—that they didn’t even know where they were—and what was more, he was in absolute authority while at sea and not even the President could tell him what to do with his ship. They tried to cajole him, but that didn't work. The men started to threaten him, but he walked away, and five minutes later appeared in the companionway with a gun in his hand. After that, nobody cared to argue with the skipper. Planned to Kill All of Them. The day wore on slowly. No one fished, for every one was too scared to fish. The captain's raving didn't make them feel any better, either. He had suddenly got the idea in his head that the whole crowd was just a bunch of sinners and that he'd be taken straight to heaven if he killed them all then and there. The night was even worse. None of the crowd could sleep. They huddled together in one of the cabins while the captain prowled about the boat. Early in the evening they found he had let out the fresh water supply—that they had nothing to drink. There was a little ice in the refrigerator and .they melted that. What they were going to do when it was gone, they didn’t know. Still the mad captain prowled restlessly about the boat. Late that night one of the men saw him slinking along the deck, a flashlight in one hand and a heavy w’rench in the other. He followed him below. The skipper crept into a dark cabin, walked noiselessly to one of the bunks, raisrog the wrench high in the air and brought it down with crushing force on the pillow. Then he turned on the light, looked at the bed. and grunted his disappointment when he saw there was no one in it. The man who had followed him went back to the main cabin . and told what he had seen. By that time, half of the company » were ill. One girl was haviag hysterics, another had developed a nervous hiccough, and Suzanne, who had acquired a bad case of sunburn during the day, was down with chills and fever. To ward dawn, the hysterical girl quieted down, and they sat in si lence to await the rising of the sun. Lord Told Him to Go Hack to Miami. Daylight made them feel a little better—but what would the day bring’ About eight o’clock the engine started chugging. What did it mean’ Were they going back to Miami? Or was the mad captain taking them still farther out to sea? One of the men ran up to the bridge to find out. He came back with good news. “The Lord told me not to bother with you." the captain had said. "He'll take care of you himself. We're going back to Miami.” They reached port early that evening, and reported what had hap pened. to officials at the dock. The officials weren’t especially siir prised. for another boatman had already noticed the skipper acting queerly and had told them about it. If the boat hadn’t come in that night, they said, they were going to send a coast guard cutter out to look foe it. Outside a little hysterical reaction, Suzanne says, everyone the crowd was all right Suzanne hasn’t been out in a boat since, she claims, although she might be induced to ride on a ferry boat some time. if she could have the captain examined by an alienist before she started. Copyright.—WNU Service. breaming of Wild Animals To dream that wild animals are chasing you foretells a mind dis turbed by present events about which you are probably over anxious. asserts a writer in London Tit-Bits magazine. If the animals overtake you it is a sign of bad fortune. But if, on overtaking you the animals ignore you it is a sign that you are worrying about mat ters of little importance. To meet wild animals who behave in a friendly fashion betokens kindness on the part of a person in an in fluential position. If you dream of someone you know in the above circumstances, the same signs ap ply to them. Single Plan for French Town Richelieu. France, is believed to be the only town in the world that was entirely built according to a single plan and never altered there after, says Collier’s Weekly. Its walls, streets, public squares, pal aces, houses, church, hotel and mar ket place are the same as they were when the town was completed In 1631 Making Bible Official in England The royal proclamation of 1538. which made the printed Bible of ficial in England, read as follows: "That ye shall provyde . . . one boke of the holy byble of the largyest volume in Englyshe and tl\e same set up in sume convenient place wythin the said church that ye have the cure of. where as your parish ioners may moste commodiously re sorte to the same and reade it. . . . That ye shall discorage no man prively or apertly from the readynge or herynge of the sayde byble.” The First Cash Register The first cash register was invent ed in 1879, by James J. (Jake) Ritty, a business man. of Dayton, » Ohio. While on a trip to Europe he observed the workings of a recording 1 device on the steamship which marked the revolutions of the ship's 1 propeller. ■ Upon his return to ttys ■ country he invented a machine, pa» nufactured in Dayton, but it was '■ net accurate, and in 1880 he pro i duced a machine that was inure practical. THE SUNNY SIDE OF LIFE Clean Comics That Will Amuse Both Old and Young BIG TOP By ED WHEELAN j WtZ <X> 11! ~ - LALA PALOOZA " By RUBE GOLDBERG Bag. - . - tHTROPUCIHC- - ~ a' eoOSH L _ ff. 2 wmsti-' \ ,2^ p* - foRTWE AND WA— AbMIRER- well gr ' \ X 1 NM is nursing a bot \ Q 6 man hESIRE TQ HER BROTHER , VINCENT. PHONEr- \ Q 1 A. AtAO OtAIKt l<o THfE VCORLD'S" LAZIEST MAN <I r Q . yHiA Vu CaET INTO SOCIETY— her. permanent house GV/est \ SA A ,r\\\ -SHE Izs Romantic she wishes he'o live elsewhere, J Vx K amn slightly but every time he tries h& '? HIVES,THE>_ \ UTvvW/T l ty ENDS UP IN THE HOOSEGOW CHAUFFEUR V* f /% ' / OVER WEIGHT- mot a &ad fella - just u/EAk Rpjn lerrd U. S. Patent Office © Frank Jay Mar key Syndicate. Inc. J S’MATTER POP— In Our Who’s Who Department By C. M. PAYNE 'vN?' A (Cmt uoj n? (_A-\pj !<■ 'j MESCAL IKE a, 3 , l. huhtiey So That Accounts for It i U / —yy M,.., POP— Second Childhood ByJ^MILLARWATT -v-. o I DON’T CRY MV BOV I I YOU'LL HAVE TONS OP TIME TO BE A KID WHEN ' \ '' '' . r,i) GOOV * >SNS \ © Bell Syndicate.—WNU Service ; LLL _ : EXTRA MiLEAGE By gluyas williams SIARIS 001 FoR COOS- pons 6Al:< Rasl <l!£H CAICHES 0? With Irt£>! WESfUAU-Y - COPIES 6Of IrV Walk WrM par- in pop. so if os a aot- and passes Them ort -faE road some Dts - ftRFLY ttolff BWWD IkEM -fttXES ft SitlC fjCCOft- poi)Ol£6 BftCK.CftftHft E,£H,JftUV ft Fftft ft S»oK M.OH6 A BROOK up PASSES IHEM, RE - AHEAD A6pi«. VltotffS 1b IN6 10 fAK£ FATHER'S •fORfJS AND DARI’S OH. 60 BACK IbSHOW THEM HAND. WoMDERJi U)«V FIOWEPS, HE'S SOtiRED THE COOLIDGE EXAMINER >, ■ I I—.-. , NOTHING CHEAP “Lady, if you'll give us a nickel my little brother'll imitate a hen.” “What will he do?” asked the la dy. “Cackle like a hen?” j “Naw,” replied the boy in dis gust. “He wouldn’t do a cheap im -1 itation like that. He’ll eat a woim.” ; —U. S. S. Reina Mercedes. 'Vfflw' Pepsodent alone of all tooth powders contains ® There’s no denying It . , .Experience Irium! That’s important! For this re y " .JjEEjB JS the best teacher. So we say, “TRY markable new cleansing agent—lrium PEPSODENT POWDER!”See from actual helps Pepsodent to remove those dall, s’. experience... how Pepsodent can make masking surface-stains that may have g’W* JKU YOUR Bmile brighter, more attractive! long hidden the true natural beauty of Vd ßemember, ONLY Pepsodent contains your teeth! Buy Pepsodent JVOWI i' f * Pepsodent’a trade mark for Purified Alkyl Sulfate 11 He Taught It “I’m grieved you use such lan guage. Do you hear it at school?” “At school, mother! Why, I teach the other chaps.” Efficiency Clerk in Bookstore —This book will do half of your work for you. Student—Fine! I’ll take two.—De troit Free Press. - - NO HELP THERE ; Brown has been speculating again. Smith—You must be a very rich man, Brown. Brown—l am, but what use 13 It to me? 1 cannot take money into the next world. Smith—No, it would melt there.— Moustique, Charleroi.