Newspaper Page Text
'P - e " f -iSjffiK,!)
Lawyer Now, Mr. Thrift, describe to
the court the chickens you charged my
client, the defendant, with stealing.
Farmer Thrift goes into the details,
lut he is Interrupted by the lawyer,
who exclaims: "I have somo chickens
Ilka those myself."
Farmer Thrift (resuming) The
chickens he took arc not the only ones
I hate had stolen I N. Y. Herald.
THK rOWKK OF WKALTII.
Brother Ju rues Harriet, Jimmy loves
yer, but he's too bashful to tell yer so;
he's willin' to dewote hisself to you if
you'll on'y say the wordl
Jimmy (aside) Speak to her of my
wealth; tell her I've got a quarter saved
up. Money talks! N. Y. Truth.
"Mono but the brave deserves the fulr"
To this we credit Klvo;
Jlut add. none but the brave would dare
With some of them tc live.
-Bay City Chat.
'CMC W fMO
l.N FUTURE THE HIGH HAT WILL DE REMOVED IN CHICAGO PLACES
MUtaklnc the Flace.
"Can't you ghe me credit for a pait
of knee punts?" asked a man of a clerk
in a clothing store.
"My dear sir," replied the affable
young man, "you have mistaken the
place. This is not the ofllce of the
Knickerbocker Trust company." Buy
1 In Ills Own Coin.
"This quuhtah has a hole in it, snh,"
raid the sleeping cur porter, with a
rapid series of bows.
"So had that blanket you put over
me last night," snapped the bald-beaded
man as he yanked on his skull cap.
Detroit Free Press.
no Had Revised III Opinion.
Lulu Yes, I was introduced to him
yesterday, and ho told, me I wyia the
H prettiest woman he had ever met.
Celie Ah, you see, 1 wbh only in
troduced to him this morning. Pick-Me-Up.
Bcnedlctr That adage "Marry in
haste and repent tit leisure" is all bosh!
Benedict Because married men have
no leisure. Answ ers.
Fond Father 1 would have you re
member, tny lord, that my daughter
is accustomed to luxury.
Lonl Brokclcigh She will have it
vrhcu she marries me. N. Y. Journal.
I Her Purpose.
"Do you really wear u corset through
xecessity?" she asked.
"Oh, no," the other girl replied, "sim
ply as a matter of form." N. Y. Trib
une. flie Ocean's Greed.
"Why do they speak of it as the
"It takes, the dinner right out of
o person's mouth." Drooklyn Life.
A Hint Mot Taken.
She What a beautiful day for a
jj. He Ys, it's too bad your father
' Wasn't a horse. Town Topics.
Mot a Good Subject.
Chumpley That hypnotist is a fraua.
He couldn't control my mind at till last
Pokely Of course ho had somo ex
cuse. Chumpley Yes; he said there wasno
material to work on. You ought to
have heard the audience give him the
laugh. Detroit Free Press.
"Have you made any progress in vour
lessons on the bicycle?"
"Xes," replied the man with a gentle
"Do you ride Into the country yet V"
"Oh, no. I don't ride an y where worth
mentioning. But I don't think I hurt
myself so much when, I fall off."
"The impudent thing!" exclaimed
Miss Uli2ard, still quivering with
wrath. "I met that young Peduncle
on the street a few minutes ago for the
first time since we had our quarrel.
After he had passed me I heard him
whistle 'Just Tell Them That You
Saw Me.' And I hadn't even looked at
him!" Chicago Tribune.
She Here's a letter from Aimee ask
ing me to send her money, and I'm just
positive that it is a forgery.
He O, I imagine that it's all right.
She I can't believe it. There's not
the sign of a postscript. Detroit Free
Tommy Kutuu l'npa, what Is repar
tee? Mr. Kutun Itepartee, my boy, is a
very clever answer, when you say It to
anybody, but a very rude answer when
anybody says it to you. Punch.
He Miss Flipp says she had nearly
100 proposals at the seashore last sum
iter. She That Is true.
He She must be very popular.
She Oh, I don't know. You see, Mr.
Softly proposed to her every day for
tl.ree months. N. Y. Journal.
Has Mo Kb all.
Of all the great composers known,
There's one will always keep
A prominence that's all his own
The great composer Sleep.
' -Harlem Life.
SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE.
Mrs. Peck You shouldn't be hard oa
tho young man; he'll soon get sense
and settle down and marry.
Mr. Peck Men with sense never mar
ry. St. Paul's. t
ricnty of Time to Mend.
"Young mun," said the minister, sol
emnly, "why do you postpone your ref
"O, It's never too Into to mend," re
plied the youth. N. Y. World.
Candor on Canvas.
Artist How 3o you like the portrait?
"Well, I don't exactly like the nose."
Artist Neither do 1 Ifxi it's your.
-N. Y. Tribune. V
; ' ( i V"r Zv I'll""
( ' r i
DID WHAT SHE COULD.
the Moble Belf-8acrl(lce of Minister's
Some years ago a clergyman moved
from New England to the northern part
of Iowa nnd settled upon a farm. Many
people said that he was foolish to do
this; that he was throwing his life
way. He left behind 'him a comfort
able home, pleasant associations, li
braries, schools and congenial neigh
bors. Besides, he was old and begin
ning to be feeble. But he felt that thero
was awaiting him a broad field, un
plowed and ready for spiritual cultiva
tion. He had meant to go into this home
missionary work years before, but his
ivife had persuaded him to wait until
their daughter had finished her educa
tion at an eastern college. Now the op
portunity had arrived, and with an
eagerness like that of youth he left a
community that, as he expressed it,
had been "for generations preached to
death," in order to go to a people beg
ging to be preached to life.
There in the middle west the family
built a small cabin of three rooms and
a "lean-to" for the kitchen. No trees
protected them from the burning sun,
in summer or the fierce hurricanes in
winter. The country was new. Thero
w ere no roads. Their nearest neighbor
was six miles away across the prairie,
and one Sunday the good man, after
preaching to nn audience of 12 per-
bons several miles from his home, was
lost In a blizzard in endeavoring to re
turn to it. From the effects of this ex
posure he died and his wife soon fol
The daughter, 20 years of age, was
left alone. What was she to do?
Should she pacK up and return to the
comfortuble east, or btay and fight it
out in the pioneer west? She decided to
stay and continue her father's work.
She went out upon the vast prairie to
teach. Most of the settlers there were
Norwegians, end in a IJttle two-r;omcd
house, occupied by a largo family, slie
went to board so that she might learn
the language. But the food was so
poor that she became ill. Finally she
secured the position of principal in a
Finnll, struggling college. Here her sur
roundings were pleasant, but the trus
tees could not pay her salary, and after
three years she went back to the prnirie.
This time she boarded with a kind
but ignorant Irish family. During the
winter the mother died, leaving two
little girls to care for a household of
men. Here, the teacher found her mis
sion in life.
She taught those girls how to work.
She helped them to cook, to sew, to
wsl't their own clothe, ti make the
home cheerful and sweet. She made
htrbi If an cider (.Istcr to the two. Sim
slid red their whole life. She mended"
w ith theni, baked w itli them, made but
ter with them, milked with them, and
endui ed the hay-field with them. Soon
the two sisters beenme noted for their
(rcullt nrs,, consideration and excel
lent hmne qualities. Whcmer they
went they carried a spirit of helpful
ness and nn electric ray of cheerfulness.
But the world never knew of the
sacrifice of the minister's daughter,
who spent some of the best years of
her life in dreary hardship in order to
make the lives of two other girls worth
living. The story of this noble sacrifice
came recently to tjie writer, from the
wes'. What can be Bifid of ner wlio
Vvould have had the sweet, but chose the
bitter for humanity's and for Christ's
sake? There are milny bright, educated
eastern girls in the west, enduring pov
erty and hardship as soldiers of tha
Master, that they may do all they can
for Him. Such unreserved giving up
of self ought to shame us out of our
easy, self-satisfied lives of nominnl
Christian service. Youth' Companion.
THE GENERAL MARKETS.
Kansas Crrr, Mo., Feb. L
CATTLE Best beeves. ( 3
G 4 90
Stackers. 3 80
Native cowb. 2 25
0 4 15
HOGS Choice to heavy. 305
SHEEP , 2 30
WHEAT-No. 2 red M
Mo. Shard. 75
CORN-No. 2 mixed.
OATS No. 2 mixed
I'LOUIt Patent, per sack 2 40
Fancy 2 25
HAY Choice timothy..., 8 00
Fancy prairie 5 50
BRAN (Sacked) U
BUTTEII-Cholce creamery.... 17K
CHEKSE-Full cream 10!i&
POTATOES 29 J
CATTLE Native and shipping 3 41
Tcxans...., 2 15
HOOS-Heavy 3 35
SHEEP Fair to choice
WHEAT-No. 2 red.
OATS-No. 2 mixed
LARD Western mess 3 77tf 3 65
POKK 760 8 15
CATTLE Common to prime... 4 50 0 5 50
HOCiS-Pocklng and shipping. 3 20 3 55
SHEEP Fair to choice 3 30 3 00
FLOUR Winter wheat, i 4 25 4 CO
WHEAT No. 2 red 83 0 B5
CORN-No.2., 21K 22
OATS-No. 2. 10 Ky,
RYE. MK 3
HUTTEK-Creamery 15 20
LARD A 3 8743CO
PORK 780 7b5
CATTLE-Natlvo Steers 4 00 4 75
HOOS-Good to Choice 3 65 4 00
WHEAT-No. 2 red .'.. 8J' MH
CORN No. 2 281 20
OATS-No. 2 ;., .Sliiii 22
BUTTEU-Crcaraery.,., 13 20
POKK-Mcs ,..: 6 50 8 75
s. ' '
'THE WOODEN HEN."
816 ,v j, l .lgiHBWMBK(B
Hatches chickens from hen's eggs. It is
10x15x8 Inches; will hatch 28 eggs. Price.
8.00. Write to Mr. Oeo. H. Stahl, Mfr.,
Quincy, 111., for a copy of his booklet "K ,"
describing Min " WmiIimi u tt i ,...
ftntnlnmia T1a1. -.. . "
vMM..vftuv. wuw ouik irou,
A NUMDEn of. years ago, In order to attend
his girl on all occasions, a youilg man had
to loam how to dance.- Now ho mnst also
learn how to milk a cow. Atchison Globe.
100 Reward MIOO.
The readers of this paper will be pleased
to learn that there is at least one dreaded
disease that science has been able to cure In
all its stages, and that is Catarrh. Hall's
Catarrh Cure is tho only positive cure
known to the medical fraternity. Catarrh
being a constitutional disease, requires a
constitutional treatment. Hall's Catarrh
Care la taken internally, acting directly
Upon the blood and mucous surfaces of tho
system, thereby destroying tho foundation
:.2t. J?'8?, and Pivlns" th0 patient
strength by building upthoconstitution and
assisting nature In doing its work. The
proprietors have so much faith in its cura
tive powers that they offer One Hundred
Dollars for any case that it falls to cure.
Kend fnr lief tt tAotfmniniB
Address F. J. Cheney & Co., Toledo, O,
Sold by Druggists, ?5c-
Hall's Family Pills are tho best.
Triune is nothing that would cause a
woman greater secret satisfaction than to
fall over In a faint when her husband Is
scolding her. Atchison Gtobe.
No-To-Hae for Flf .y Cents.
Over 400,000 cured. Why not let No-To-Bao
regulate or remove your dculro for tobacco.
Saves money, makes health and manhood.
Cure guaranteed, 50c and $1.00, all druggists.
Evfrton'b Imagines himself a worm, and
is of tho privuto opinion that his turning
will causo tho srentc-st commotion tho world
ever knew. Atchison Globe.
Fits stopped f reo aud permanently cured.
No fits after first day's uso of Dr. Kline's
Groat Nervo Restorer. Free 82 trial bottle &
treatise. Dit. Kline. U33 Arch St., Phils., Pa.
Wncs a man gives a gift with the request
that his iiiimo bo not mentioned, ho always
feels a littlo bit chagrined to find his re
quest observed. Atchiron Globe.
Look out! Shiver, 'then soreness and
stiffness. Use St. Jacobs Oil then a cure.
It always takes a girl an awfully long
timo to learn to ride a bicycle when some
handsome young man is teaching her.
AnEn six yonrs' suffering, 1 was cured by
Plso's Curo. MAnr Tnovsov, 29 Ohio
Ave., Allegheny, Pa., March liyiM.
"I'll never ask another woman to marry
mo as Idus as I live'" "llcfuscd ogalnl"
"No; accepted '--TiU5Its.
Miseut and rheumatism are foes 8t
Jacobs Oil nud curo are friends. Trj them
The man who will not livo up to his con
victions is untrue to himself Ham's Horn.
Just trv a lOo. box of CasraroU candy ca
thartie,fiuc3t liver uudlo el regulator mudo
It a woman has whiskers you are no
gentleman If you soa them.
Without teeth frost bites. Without doubt
St. Jacobs Oil cures frost-bites smc.
safe to use.
III ' 1 X
Walter Baker & Go.'s
Because it is absolutely pure.
Because it is not
Because beans of the
Be ure that you
a M 4-
Mi MJi 5.
HAKtK avu. L.W., uorcnceicr, inwa. caiaiuiiancu iou.
limiiiHMiinMaaime '" meat
p . mimmwpj!Lii-Miiiuimr all
2550 intflTJIinnir DRUGGISTS
pie and booklet free. id. STERLING IIE3IEDY
AGENT OP HEALTH
MAPS OR PLAYING CARDS.
Send 15 cts. in postaca
to the undersigned and
you will receivo either
a splendidly mounted
mop of the United States,' '1.
or a pack of best quality
L. W. WASELEY, Gen. Pass. Art.
"Burlington Route." Bt. Louis, Mo.
.QUARTER OF CKNTPRY QI.B,
hen cheapen I n tb mrki. Write for niplLeta.
The FA I M AMLLABOOHSQ CO., CAMDE!C J.
jiianxn, r Illurtraud Culorue
FREE. AJJrM.D. L, MUSSELMAN,1W
GUI CITT VlintM COLUOKTQDIMCr. ILL.
600 Second Hand Bicycles
Hlzlihradett rnodela, cuu-utteed.!
t9 9?1. Sfittt be elnard eU AffenU
1'. II. 311 All JL I'lII.STKU., r-klr-t-e.
fM I'lr Inrreate 2. i.ejtt ted riafcif TeoiD?u.
Alt Uvti free, 21 r. practice, Sqcccm or no iv
4. tt. UK.n,lV k bvR, UaadBiiU, O,, udnukUstsB, D.C
A hundred for ronr ntlchtorV tliman.
Send lttr-iila fur contrail end aamtle copy.
IIIUIANCK MAI1AZI.M., MW Y1IKK.
Yucatan, it is perfection.
A. N. K.-D
mriiEX writi.no to auvertiseiu plkase
etute thai roa hi Us A4vertlKaml la tkle
"Outof the frying-pan
into the fire." Take care that you don't go
that way, when you try to make your
washing easier. Better be sure of what
i'eanine, tne original wasning-
compound, the best-known, the tully-
proved. There are plenty of imitations
"1 of it. But even if they're not dangerous
r nnrl snme arp thev're not
Pearline used properly, goes
larther, does more worK, ana
wear, than anything else that s
made by the so-called Dutch Process iw fc
finest quality are used.
Because it is made by a method which preserves BntmpalredJ ; X
the exquisite natural flavor and odor of the beans. ; ;:
Because it is the most economical, costing less than one- cent ;
net the genuine article made by WALTER ; -
CO.. Chlcaa-o. Montreal. Can.. orNeir York.
' I if
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