Newspaper Page Text
W ', fi: IJSWf.-nj- pf-'v ..;:, W-Wfcrf AlW' V--ii" ! - ' VH'V-!' rMVtt:airel PpSi . ,.,-j,k -t -, . 3$rH i'"' ? MM'"W' ' ' ' ' " SH i nSfi li . 1 X .V. Ti5Mii4liii9fiUMKai; i v ! , r -ft& ? V - Wr5- -,. nwraHnTtfS7w j"a"awy4'wwsT i x I fr I. ir .: fr V What Tbey Uot. Ttia honest old fellow who cleans out a bank, with' a broom, or a dollar a day, Gt only the courtesy shown to a dog;, ex- ' cept while he's drawing his pay. The burglar who cleans out a bank at night, with a Jimmy and powder and saw, Qts only a sentence, to pay for his paint, that's the farthest extent of the law. The trusted, official who cleans.out a bank Bets the cash and he's nothing to fear. But why should the crookedest one of the three be acclaimed as a "financier:" Chicago Times-Herald. THIS DIVIDED FAMILY. Jlmmle Where are your folks going this summer? Tommle Don't know yet. Ma wants society and pa wants boating nnd fish ing, but I am backing up pa. N, V. Truth. economy In Wealth. Lady of the House Did you mail my letter, as 1 told you, Susan? Hired Olrl Kurc, mum, I did; but 1 had it weighed tlrst, and as it was double weight I put another stamp on it. Lady of the House That's right; only I hope you didn't put the extra stamp on sq as it would obliterate the address. Hired Girl Indeed 1 didn't, mum; I just 'stuck it on topof the other stamp, so as to sae room. N. Y.-World. WASTED CopyrlRhl, m;, by Mitchell Miller. "If thiue enemy smite thee on (be "Look out better for him next time, can get within so much aa a foot of Seemed Appropriate. "What sign do you think 1 ought to put up in front of my place of busi ness?" tieked the mun who had opened a morgue. " 'Kemalns to be seen, " suggested the friend who hod dropped in. Chicago Tribune. A Verbal Distinction. "There are u great ninny men looking for work," said the otillnuthroplst, "I'erhaps," said Senator Sorghum, as he laid usldc a pile of letters; "but it seems to mu there muttt be a great many more looking for positions." Washing ton Star. Ily Cotnparliiou. Tom (rapturously) Thatdulryman's daughter is a beautiful creature. She ban hair as golden an the butter her father sells. Dick Yes, and eyes as blue as the jnllk he sells. Up-to-Date. --, Looking' Forward, "When 1 am rich," he suid, haughtily, "I will return and taunt you with the cpportunlty you have missed." "When you arerich," she answered, calmly, "I trust you will offer to pay for the broken leg of that spindle-limbed gllUchair.v And he went forth with a hollow groan. Cleveland Plain Dealer. Suiplcloua. Landlord (to agent) I wish you'd keep a close watch on the people who have thnt house on X street. I'm afraid they're up to something. 'Agent What has aroused your sus picions? Landlord They haven't asked for any repairs this month. Cleveland Ledger. Tlio Flnnncler. He says he's fully satisfied that when he gets a chance He'll nil the nation's treasury and straight en out finance; Out, since that's In the future, he would feel quite gratified It you'd huy him a cup of coffee, with sandwich on the side. Chicago Tlmcs-Herald. HU Silence explained. "Mr. Bluffy," she said, graciously, "you are one of the most original men I have met for ever bo long. You haven't said a single word about the weather. "No," he laid, with a tinge of regret in his voice. "I couldn't say what I thought about this weather in the pres ence of ladles." Tit-Bits. Why She Let Him, Cholly Chumplclgh (fervently) Miss Coldeal, Ethel l May I call you Ethel? Miss. Coldeal Yes, I think you may, as Cholly Chumplelgh Oh, thank you, Ethel! Thank you! Mita Coldeal It isn't my name. N. Y. Journal. i Anytlilnir Hn-dy. When. Mr. Jones and Miss Smith made a matcn The ladles said ho was a splendid catch. But since they married comes the news so grim He, needs to be he throws so much at hlml -N. Y. Tribune. PHILOSOPHY. right cheek" and pound his head clean oil before he your nose." Hold Her Ace. Mrs. Walnwood I was ttpeakingwith Miss Elder to-day. She says thnt every body tells her that she holds her age re markably. Mrs. Grimm Yes; she has been 30 for the last six years, to my knowledge. Boston Transcript. Flirnrlng It Oat. Day Why do you claim that that headlight of yours Is a Jewel? Every one knows it is paste. Weeks 1 can prove It paste has con nistency, and consistency is a jewel. Chelsea Free Lnnce. A Domestic DIIHculty. "It's too mean," pouted the young housekeeper. "She Is very disobliging." "Who?" Inquired her husband. "The servant. I have discharged her and she won't go, and I think It's real inincrtinet of her." Washington Star. A COUNTERFEITER CAUGHT. The roltco of Syracuse Slake' an Im portant Capture. On Monday the 15th Harold Marquisec, of Utica, N. Y., was arrested in Syracuse, N. Yi, on a, warrant sworn out by the Dr. Wil liams' Medicine Co"., charging him with forg ery. On the 15th of December Marquiseo visited a photo-engraver in Syracuse, say ing he was the representative of the Dr. Williams' Medicine Co,,and arranged for the making of a full set of plates for the direc tion sheets, labels, etc., of the famous Dr. Williams' Pink Pills for Pale People. News of. this reached the hcne office, and no time was lost in arranging for Ins arrest when he should return for the plates. He returned on the 15th, and was accordingly arrested and is now in jail in Syracuse awaiting ex amination, which occurs on March' 2d. This orrcst proves to be an important one. In addition to various plunder, such as medical books, typewriters, rugs, etc., found in Marquisee's trunk when arrested, the police also found counterfeit coin both in the trunk and on his person; and in a fcearchtof his apartments in Utica found a complete outfit for counterfeiting consist ing of crucibles, bellows, nickel, lead, bismuth, antimony, a small blacksmith forge, a charcoal furnace, and several plas-ter-of-paris molds. The United States mar shals want him just as soon an Dr. Williams' Medicine Co. are through with him, and, no doubt, he will be sentenced for a long pe riod. In selecting Dr. Williams' Pink Pills for his counterfeiting operations, he showed his knowledge of the proprietary medicine busi ness; for these pills arc in such great demand that they are easily sold at any drug store in the United States. His scheme was to work the country druggists and sell his imita tions at a discount of from 2 per cent, to 5 per cent., explaining the reduced price by the fact that he had picked them up in small lots and at a discount from dealers who were overstocked. Ily working fast and making long jumps, he would have secured many hundreds of dollars in a short time. The proprietors of Dr. WiHiami' Pink Pills are most fortunate to have caught the rogue, be fore he bad fairly started, and to have thus kept these spurious goods out of the market. She "If you were to find that I had lost all my fortune every penny of it would you hesitate to carry out our engagement!" He "I would hesitate at nothing." Indi anapolis Journal. State or Onto, Citt or Toledo, I Lucas Cou.Mr. (" Frank J. Cheney makes oath that he is the senior partner of the firm of V. J. Cheney Co., doing business in the city of Toledo. County and State aforesaid, and that said firm will pay the sum of One Hundred Dol lars for each and every case of catarrh that cannot be cured by the use of Hall's Catarrh Cure. FRANK J. CHENEY. Sworn to before me and subscribed in my presence, this 6th day of December, A. D. 1ES0. A. W. fJLBASON, SealJ Notary Public. Hall's Catarrh Cure is taken internally and acts directly on the blood and mucous sur faces of the system. Send for testimonials, free. F. J. CHENEY 4 CO., Toledo, O. Sold by druggists, 75c. Hall's Family Pills arc the best. A woman's Idea of a man good and true it one who, on Sunday afternoon, reads to his child tho little paper it received at Sun day school that tjay Atcliisou Globe. On Time, And very early too. That's what any one tboulil he in treating one's self for inaction of the kidneys and bladder. The diuretic which experience indicates as suppljinsr the requisite stimulation to the organ without, cxcitin? them, U Hcstcttcr's Stomach Hit ters. Don't delay; kidney inaction and dis eases are not far apart. For fever and ague, dyspepsia, constipation, rheumatism and nerve debility, also, use the Bitters. She "Do you understand those French Jokes?" He "I'm nfroid I do." She "Then I wish you'd translate them." Pick-Me-Up. i If you need anything in the lino of Hay, Coal, Stock, Grain or Cotton Scales, you khould write to the Weeks Scale Works, BulFalo, N. Y., for catalogue and informa tion. This is an old reliable firm, and you can rely upon right prices and right treat ment. I. Slumleigh "I don't see whv you care so little for me." Miss Gyer "Have you ever taken a good look at yourself!' Town Topics. Fits stopped free and permanently cured. No fits after first day's use of Dr. Kline's Great Nerve Restorer. Free $2 trial bottle & treatise. Dr. Kline, 033 Arch st., Phila., Pa. When the Lord h.inds out a woman her harp, she will not feel as proud as when the minister asked for a second piece of her pie at a churrh dinner. We think Piso's Cure for Consumption is the only medicine for Cough. .Icnnie Pitickard, Springfield, Ills., Oct. 1, 181)1. "George describes the girl he is engaged to as a perfect vision." "Yes. And his sister lays she is a sight." Indianapolis Journal. Feeble nerves severe weather neural gia. Soothing cure St. Jacobs Oil. TT W. n Stair- TT"I -! l- 1-! - .. , , us u wiv.. . ... . . " kuiuk U) KISS you when I go." She "Do it now while I'm still young Town Topics. Cascarcts stimulate liver, kidneys and bowels. Never sicken, weaken or gripe, 10c. It will be heaven to the women because tho angels don't wear corsets or tight shoes. Atchison Ulobc. . . i cobs Oil will cure lumbago sure. The trouble with most of us is that we neglect to do to-morrow what we have put ou to-oay. iruin. i Just try a 10c box of Cascarets candy ca thartic,finest livcrandbowcl regulatormade. ii m A man's importance cannot be deter mined by the number of initials before bis name. Atchison Globe. Blacker the spot, surer the cure. Use St. Jacobs Oil for bruises. . There are almost as many crises In the average love affairs as there have been in the rule of the sultan of Turkey. m i Put a pain to sleep? St. Jacobs Oil doe this with sciatica. Torment cured. "Glory" Is "grace" perfected and grace Is ours on earth. 0 Disappointments are wings that bear the aoul skyward. 809 BCS. OATS, 178 BUS. BARLEY. M. M. Lutherv East Troy, Pa.,"grew BOO bushels Salzcr'a Silver Mine Oats, and JohnvBrclder, Mishlcott, Wis., 173 bushels Silver Kiijg Barley per acre. Don't you believe it? Write them! Fodder plants vns "rape, teorinte, vetch, spurry, clovers, grasses, etc.. in endless varieties, potatoes at1.50 a bar rel. Salzer's seeds are bred to big yields. America's greatest seed cata logue and 12 farxn seed samples are sent you by .TohnA'Salzer Seed Co.,La Crosse, Wis., upon receipt of 10 cents, and this notice, worth $10, to get a start, k Some of the best people we know are so fat . that they will not be able to reach their arms around a harp when they get Up Yonder. Atchison Globe. "Star Tobacco. As you chew tobacco for pleasure, use Star. It is not only tho best,l)ut the most lasting, and therefore the cheapest. Our idea of a hopeless fool Is a man who has a stiff neck from looking up for air ships. 9 Sudden weather changes bring rheuma tism. St. Jacobs Oil makes prompt cure. The word "entertained" Is overworked worse than the mother of half a dozen chil dren. Atchison Globe. , When bilious or costive eat a Cascaret, candy cathartic, cure guaranteed. 10c, 25c. Borrowed trouble demands large interest. Chicago Standard. Time counts, health gains. A quick, sure cure St. Jacobs Oil for sprains. The more grateful we are for our bless ings, the smaller our trials will look. t It Is brave to overcome, it is saintly to en dure. Chicago Standard. ot the Soak Mi ym MkA s-Fn don't use less that only increases your work. Use it alone no soap with it ; nothing but iiHMt.mHmminiH er's Walter Established in Has the well-known package, and the on the back. NONE Walter Baker & WWWWW I l U Q say about the Harvester and Binder. The claims strong claims. That's because Machines are so constructed that rtrone , chine you want will cost you more than it is worth more; that's all there's no I glad you paid tne diuerence, because McCormick Harvesting The I.lijht. Running McCormick SB nilgoi Sv CM? J T"" lKwJl0r fS' ov J lif . S$I iRht.Runnlng McCormick Open Elerator Harvester, le I.lRht-Kuiinltift McCormick New 4 Steel Mower, The Ught. Running McCormick Vertical Corn Bln Tne I The Ughl-Kuuulng lANDY ;abcieto CURE CONSTIPATION 10 25 SO T. j :; ' -j.,- rr Penc-t you meet rveryIy WILL DIE . jOF BRIGHT'S DISEASE . or tome trouble of tf kkbc y ydcuury Of ftZU&Ic Ofg&fiS WHAT CAN BE DONE? ' In such a serious condition you must secure the best remedy you can find to the market AT ONCE. There Is only one absolutely cute for these troubles, asd that is "It has stood the test of time." A. N. K.-D 1648 Vf HE WKITI.NO to ADVERTISERS M-ta thai j tfca 4YrMBt la Ifclst cr. mi Ironing is hard enough. Save your strength for that Make the rest washing easy with Pearline. ; boil ; rinse that is all there is to it I he clothes are cleaner and whiter than in the old way ; colored goods are brighter; flannels are softer and won't shrink. Use your Pearline just ass directed on every package, and. you'll get the best results. Don't use more that only wastes it ; Pearline. m MMMininiiiiMMMiitt-;, Chocolate MADE BY Baker & Co, Ltd 9 1780, at Dorchester, Mass. YeMow Label on the front of every S' trade - mark, "La Belle Chocolatiere," I ' OTHER GENUINE. Co. Ltd., Dorchester. Mass. I U HWH J WWWWW When I Saw your advertisement I thought that it was probably like the announce ment; of many other makers of harvesting machinery big fclow and little thowj but I'm ready to surren der; go ahead, gentlemen, you're all right; I bought one of your binders last season and it is equal to any claim you ever made for it." This is the condensed essence of what Mr, Thomas Camev.'of Washington Court House. Ohio, his to McCormick Right Hand Onen levator made for McCormick Machines oro claims for them are iustified. The mi. the other kind, for the simple reason that other reason and in the cad you'll be taercFx BotMlag cheaper than the beat. I Machine Company, Chicago, Op I n(nri? miA McCormick Daily Reaper, for tale ererywheie. CATHARTIC ALL DftUfiCISBt I u ' W ' J) k x. ' ' K '