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The native Virginian. [volume] (Orange Court House, Va.) 1867-187?, February 28, 1868, Image 1

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Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn94051044/1868-02-28/ed-1/seq-1/

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C .« $ a lirf 9ir|inian.
Tnrarsof Abtertisi-io.— Tliefollewlngnre
aur lernrn «f Advertising, wkiloa will, In Be
Instance, lie departed from :
One square, (lOlim-serlessJ Ist lnsert'n.Bl 00
Kachsubsequent Insertion O.V)
Hue square Vi months 12 00
OoeS|iuir« * ißonths 800
One square 8 mouths » 5 00
Business f—rds, one year 10 00
Two squares, 13 months 20 00
Three squares, 12 months **> no
Uuarlsr eolsiuu. UmoiKks 40 00
llalfcelußiß. lißioulhs 7000
•as eoIBBSB, 12 months, 135 00
mr Adverliawmeßta for a less time thai
ffcree Biaßths will be charged for at the nsu
al Bales—sac dollar nersuiiarefor the first in
sertion, and fifty ovule for each suliseqnon
ast-The nuabeTSflasertlons must be mark
ed en theßianuscrlpt, or the advertlscnieii
will be continued until forbid and charged
fbr accordingly.
■,■_... —1 ■»■'!'■ L"!-I.i'iaj
Hahimoie Curbs.
fa, a, adams. ißVma a. beck
Ma. S3T Balllmars Hli «cl,
And SI German Street,
\J_TE ara now manufacturing our own
vr Lamps, and ran offer inducements iv
katliranuh of business.
_ November 15, 1887.—1y.
I.W.C,r«rl.l h -lil and Lombard Sts.
PROI'KIETOUH of Stahler's Ano-
A dyne, Cherry Kxpeetorsnt,Stahler's Dia
rhtea'l 'orilliiljiSiabler'B Dr. Chapman's Worm
Mixture, Morris' Tonic or lever and Ague
Mixture, Nlinmo's Mixture, Wright's Worm
Killer, Gilpin's Vegetable Tills, Chnlfaut's
E-o Cream,
evember IS, 18(17.
Boy a, i*ear re & Co.,
HatlHrts. « ottoiiades, and
ancy Dry Goods,
Ma. 8, Hanover Street,
i. b'kkndbeb mivi).
icmbat i'[.i«m.
Hoveinber 15, ISB7.—ly.
Ms. »3» Baltimore St., Baltimore,
v ash ai "ii smm or
AND ilealers iv Hritannia Ware,
**- Hardware, Plated Ware, and r'ancy
ikxids, wholesale and retail.
(C Country Merchants arc respectfully In
vited to call und examine the gtxxls.
November 15, 1H67,—1y.
W lit skies, Brandies, H' Hies, A.
Mo. 7 Commerce Street,
AGENTS for tbe sale of Tobacco,
drain, etc.
November 15, ISU7.--ly.

M._ROBINSON, or Va.,
*3 8. Calvert Street,
15 A I.:T I M O R E , MD,
November 15, 1887.—1y.
d. Passano & Sons,
Importers and Dealers in
Notions, Hosiery,
ac« W. Baltimore St.,
_Jfovember 15,18«7-ly.
Charles H. Myers A BroT,
Importers of
No. 72 Exchange l'laeo,
rt ___, BALTIMORE. Mn.
Kavsmber 15,1867-ly*
.. j,. jl c. i»_nRA,~
X*. 334 W. Baltimore Street,
(Up Btalrs,)
November 15, 1887.—1y.«
ii c ITo r i k i7i» >"s
111 Wttt Pratt Street;,
Adjoining Mall by Hoime,
Keveuiber 15, 1867.—1y.
Cole, Price &, Co.,
aaa Baltimore »1.,,»mr Charles St.,
B. pan k.
ovember 15, 1887.—1y.
Carroll, Adams *. Neer,
•fit* Baltimore street,
B AL T IMO RE , Ml).,
Manafacturer sand Wholesale Dealers In
Boots, Shoes, Hats,
November 15, 1847. —6m.
<. old alio i -ougli, Buck & Henry,
Wholesale Dealers in
No. 8 ll»n»,,rSlrii-(, (Up Stairs,)
V. C. Ooldsborougii, Maryland.
K. H. Huck, Virginia,
J. W. Henrt, Maryland.
15, 18(t7.-ly.«
GEO. W. HERRING ft. S©n7
■a. t Soul I, Charles Street,
November 15, 1887.—«rn.
Win. il. Ryan,
St. Paul Htreet,
Ha-. M, mr.-lr.
Corner of Slurp an 4 Gern.AU »<<■.,
'here was a Jolly old pedagogue, long ago.
Tall and slender, and sallow und dry;
His form was bent and his gait vmtt slow.
And his long, thin hair was white as snow.
But a wonderful twinkle nlioiic In his oye;
And he sang every night as he went to bed
"Let us be happy down here below;
'he living should live, though the dead be
Said the Jolly old pedagogue, long ago.
Ho taught tbe scholars the Itnlo of Throe,
Hooding, and writing, and history too;
le look the little ones on his knee,
or n kind old heart In his breast had he.
And Ihe wants of the littlest child he knew
.--.irn while you're yoßiig," he often said,
"There Is much to enjoy down hdre below
.lfc for tho living, and rest for the dead !"
Hald the jolly old pedagogue, long ago.
With the stupidest boys he was kind and
Speaking only in the gentlest tones;
re rod was scarcely known in his school-
Whipping to him was a barbarous rule.
And too hard work for his poor old bones
esldes, it was painful, he sometimes snld ;
"We should make life pleasant down her
he living need charity more than the dead,
Hald the jolly old pedagogue long ago,
c lived In tliebousi by Ihe hawthorn lane
With roßes and wood bias over the door ;
Is rooms were quiet, nnd neat, and plain,
ut a spirit of comfort there held reign.
And made him forget he was old and poor
need so little," he often_sald;
"And Biy friends and relatives here below
'on't litigate over me when I'm dead,"
Snld the Jolly old pedagogue, long ago.
ut tea pleasanteat times he had of all
Were the sociable hours he used to pass,
With the chair tipped back to a neighboring
uking an unceremonious call.
Over a pipe and a friendly glass;
lis was the flnest pleasure he said,
Of the many he tasted here below;
Vho has no cronies had better be dead,"
Said the Jolly old pedagogue, long ago.
ic Jolly old pedagogue's wrinkled face
Melted all over In sunshiny smiles;
c stirred his glass with an old school grace
luckleil.and sipped, and prattled apace.
Till the house grew merry from cellar t
'm a pretty old man," he gently said,
"I've lingered a long time here below;
bit my heart is fresh, if my youth Is lied !"
Bald the Jolly old pedagogue, long ago.
c smoked his p'pe in the balmy air
Kvery night when the sun went down ;
nd the soft wind played lo his silvery hair
I .caving Its tenderest kisses there
On the Jolly old pedagogue's Jolly old
And feeling the kisses, he smiled and snld :
'"Twas a glorious world down here below •
Wivy wait for happiness till we are dead ?"
Said the Jolly old pedagogue, long ago.
He sat at his door ono midsummer night,
After the sun had sunk lv the west,
And tho lingering beams of golden light
Made his kladly old face look warm am
While the odorous night-winds whlspcrci
Gcatly, gently he liowed his head,
There were angels waiting forhim, I know-
He was sure of his happiness living or dead
Tills jolly old pedagogue, long ago.
[ra-i» thk rxQiTmr.R anp r.XAMixrn.J
.Remark* of His Satanic Majesty—Abraham
Lincoln, John Brown, Xat "Turner, Thirma
If. Benton, Aaron Burr and Stephen A. Doug
Ins— Private Opinions of the Devilon Religion
Cnderstanding that a great Kadica
ass meeting was to be held in Pande
monium. to take into consideration the
iresent aspect of American aflairs,
irocured a complimentary ticket fron
rother Ilunnlcutt, who is the agen
or this district, and took tlie under
round railroad on Saturday evening
ast. The trip was a short and pleasau
ic,being down grade all the way, an(
ie descent proverbially easy. In a
ew hours the cars arrived at the far
anied shores of tlie river Styx. Here
nind that a capacious wharf had bcei
rected, and instead of the classic dug
it by which I expected to be lerriei
ver, I found a splendid new cigar-sha
led propeller, called the Gen. Grant
eady to receive the passengers,
epped aboard, and Immediately walk
1 up to Captain Charon's office to set
e, ottering him a ten cent green back
it the Captain returned it to me, in
ignantly, and demanded silver. For
inatcly, I had a dime which I had been
ong keeping as a pocket-piece am
umismatic curiosity, and was thercb;
nabled to pay my passage fee. 1 thei
ntered into conversation with Captall
liaron, whom I found quite pleasan
nd communicative. Admiring iiis new
teamcr, and expressing my astonish
iclit at its substitution lor tlie old fcr
y-boat, he told me that, his business
lad increased so mucli during the Am
rican war, and his strength was so
inch worn out, that he had been eoiii
lelled, out of his unaccumulatcd earn
ings to have a steamboat built, and tha
he had named it the General Grant to
please the Yankees, who were his prin
cipal customers. The boat was de
signed by the distinguished American
engineer, Colonel Charles Ellet, who
lad tried very hard to persuade him to
onstruct a suspension bridge across
he stream, but as is was against the
constitution of the Satanic governmen
to cross tlie river Styx by any other
means than a boat, the Colonel had to
h? content with building a steamboat
Ie moreover informed me that the
akes in hell had become so crowded o
ate that none of the new comers couii
c accommodated with a hot bath, bu
hat Colonel Ellet had obviated the dif
cnlty, atid distinguished himself ver
inch by constructing immense reser
oirs in some of the valleys, which, b
means of canals and tunnels coinunun
ating with distant seas of liquid fire
ere kept constantly filled, thus att'ort
ng ample accommodation tor ail. On
iteresting conversation was stoppct
y the arrival of the boat at the oppo
•life shorn when I was compelled to
isetnhark immediately, as the boat had
o return for another load. My read
ers may imagine, but I cannot describe
he sensation of awe and fear with
which 1 trod for tlie first time—and.l
rot* trie last—the plootny precincts of
ie*. Transfixed with horror, I repen
ed my rash act, and would have re
raccd my steps, at tho risk of my rc
wrtorial reputation, had I not just it
hat time encountered an old familiar
face in the shape of my quondam earth
y Tom Jones, whom 1 saw
walking along the shore, gesticulating
•iolently, and quoting Shakespeare. 1
called him by name; recognizing me
nstantly, he rushed tip tome and shook
me violent ly by the 'rand. 1 expressed
my surprise at meeting him there, and
old him that his friends had erected
ver his remains at Hollywood a ten
bot pyramid,on which was confidently
tated that he bad gone toanotlier place.
Ie said that he had no doubt that, was
he case with a good many others, and
probably would be with mc ; but I
legged him lo understand that I was
lot then in the spirit but in the flesh,
tuil then explained to him the object of
ray mission, and requested his kind of
ices—as I was a stranger in Gehenna
—in conducting me to Pandemonium.
Ie tendered bis services with alacrity;
so, taking his arm, we walked together
over an open country and tip a gently
nclined hill, which was evenly covered
ith a substance like lava. After walk
ng about a mile, I observed that the
ountry became, less oper. and the way
more rough and steep, aud broken into
learly regular steps. On either side
vere piled up large detached masses of
olcanic rocks, which gradually merged
Ho gigantic precipices of tantastic
lapes overhanging the gloomy path
ay. At last we arrived at the month
of a cavern, which was closed by a mas
ive iron gate. At this gate stood a
all, grny-liidred negro man of grim
and diabolical aspect. Tom Informed
ne that tills was the gate of Pandemo
lium, and that the porter was General
iabriol, the same who had once at
empted an insurrectionary raid upon
our city, but had been foiled in this first
•on to Richmond" by the rising waters,
■"or this heroic achievement he had
been rewarded with the place of gate
keeper of Pandemonium. On arriving
t the gate, old Gabriel stubbornly re
used to let mc in: "Murs Tom," he
aid, "could go any whars, but no stran
'cr can git insider dis gate widout a
lars." I showed him Brother lliiiini
cutt's ticket, and told him that I was
he reporter for the New Nation. Ga
rlcl made a low bow, said, "eirenm
tances alters cases," and, with a broad
rin, threw open tho gate. We de
eended for a short distance through a
atural tunnel, and then Pandemoni
m, in its magnificent, gloomy gran
eur, broke upon our vision. From tlie
entrance where we stood I looked down
pun an immense, nearly circular, cave,
liat appeared to be about a thousand
eet in diameter, the floor of which
radually sloped to the opposite side. —
'he sides rose nearly perpendicular
or about one hundred feet iv height,
ml then sprung the mighty dome, to a
eight immeasurable, dazzling with
rystal stalactites and studded with
parkling stars of iron pyrites, illumi
lated by a thousand jets of burning
»as that issued like tails of comets from
lie sides and roof.
Milton lias given us a magnificent
escription of Pandemonium as built
>}■ the architect Mulciber, but,of course
t is all imaginary, and diners in lota
rom the reality; for he describes It as
>eing a splendid edifice erected above
round, with done pillars and roof of
retted gold, lighted by starry lamps
cd with naptha and asphalttim; when,
i truth, it is all underground, and in
tend of its being designed by an angj
c architect, it is in the main, Nature
ivu handiwork, although Art has coi
ribiited a good deal toward its coinfo
ml elegance aud its adaption to its v
s a legislative hall. Circular rows o
eats with convenient aisles have bee
icwn out of tlie solid rock, and on tl
de opposite to tlie entrance a niagnil
cut throne has been cut from a sol
dock of crystal. The supports, side
ud back of this throne are ingeiiiou
y sculptured in the evolutions of thrt
uge crystal serpents, which, after
winding and twisting in innumerable
antiistic and graceful curves, to adapt
hem to the various forms of the throne,
nally meet at the back, their necks
rossing iv a high got hie arch, and their
ivergent heads extending like a cano
iy over the centre of the throne with
pen mouths, protruding, defiant, bra
en-tongues and glistening, evil, cine
Id eyes. A spread eagle, ol solid goli
vith tulons sunk into the serpent
leeks, surmounts the whole.
In olden times this hall,on publico
asiotiß, used to be lighted up by Ham
leans held up by thousands of shinii
nips of darkness, but recently there a
ived a party of Peiinsylvanians wl
lad died of oil on the brain, who itnmi
diately proposed to light it up with pt
roletttn. Obtaining a favorable coi
ract, they made a tunnel upwards t
the oil regions of Pennsylvania, whei
hey "struck He," and, conducting
downwards iv pipes,distributed it over
the sikes and roof of the hall. This
was Uie cause of the sudden failure of
so many ol the oil wells in Penusylva
na a few years ago.
When we entered the hall it was al
eady rilled to its outer limits, and His
SaMßie Majesty was occupying Uie
•ryflal throne. Tom conducted me
u'oitud the outer limilsolthe assembly
tnd contrived to secure a position near
tbe throne, where 1 could see and hear
everything, and take notes of the pro
His Majesty rose and explained to the
meeting that the object of their convo
cation was, to take into consideration
the present condition and aspect of
American affairs; that his emissaries
had informed him that immense defec
tions from the Radical party had lately
taken place; that large Democratic ma
jorities had been given in tlie Northern
and Western States, and that unless
some active and decisive step were ta
ken he feared that the Radical party
would be defeated in the next presiden
tial election. It was needless for him
to say how disastrous such an event
would be to the interests of his domin
ions; that he wag indebted to the Radi
cal party for the immense additions to
his people by means of the American
war, and he was confident, if they could
be retained In power, that continued
Anarchy, War, Pestilence and Famine
would be tlie final and blessed result.—
He therefore invoked the assembled
wisdom of Hell to devise some plan by
which the Kadical party could be
strengthened and sustained; and first
ol all, fie called upon his able friend and
coadjutor, Abraham Lincoln, to give
them the light of his experience and
knowledge. His Majesty then took his
scat amidst tlie most profound silence.
Abraham arose, tall, gloomy and
gaunt, and I thought considerably
worsted since bis sojourn in . hell,
though, I understand, he lias received
high honors there, and is the devil's
right hand man and chief adviser in
American affairs. He said that things
had been going on very badly in tlie
United States since his sudden and un
expected departure; that he had left a
man in his place who was a traitor to
his party, and who was tlie cause of all
the present trouble. In his humble
opinion, two things had to be done: —
First. Andrew Johnson must be got
ten rid of by fair means or by foul. Sec
ondly. Bribery to a great extent must
lie used to inspire enthusiasm and en
ergy in the leaders of the Radical par
ty. His experience as President had
been, that nothing could be done with
out bribery; it was a kind of wedge that
would split the most knotty, gnarled
and'tortiious rail of a Congressman.—
Johnson is trying to run the machine
without grease, but he will find that it
will be no go. Members of Congress
must have their palms greased by fat
offices and contracts for themselves and
tbeir friends, lie would, therefore, re
commend that a committee should he
scut from this court to confer with tbe
leading spirits of the Radical party, and
to urge upou them the propriety of ap
propriating a secret service fund, which
should be liberally used for the advance-'
mentof the interests of their party, and
the election of a Radical President; and
tlie Imperative necessity of straight
way impeaching Andrew Johnson and
putting Wade in his place. Wade in
the balance, he would not be found
Biting. [Laughter, and criesof "Bul
:>ryou;" "Go it, old Abe."]
hen arose a tall, grim, rugged old
man, with dishevelled gray locks, and a
bluish ring around his neck, whom I
recognized at once as Old John Brown,
of Harper's Ferry memory. He said
that ha agreed in the main with his dis
tinguished friend who had just taken
Ida seat, but he thought that more ought
to be done; be had spent his life iv the
other world, and lost it, too, in the
graad object of elevating the negro and
freeing him from the shackles of South
ern slaveholders; that hi; had been the
apostle ol liberty, and although he had
effected but little iv his own person, yet
he had sown the good seed, which ger
minating at tlie North, ant] watered by
the blood of Lincoln and the thousands
of martyrs who had fallen in the late
glorious struggle for freedom, have
grown up to the imperishable tree of
liberty which now overshadowed the
whole South. He, therefore, thought
that he had a right to say a word for
I still persecuted and down-trodden
can; tlie blood ot martyrs would be
1 in vain if they loosed the. hold that
they now had on the throats of the
Southern rebels. Their only chance to
save the Radical party was to keep the
rebels from voting. If that were done
all would be lost: restrict still further
tlie rebel right of suffrage, keep on re
constructing until you get the black
man on top and the white rebel at the
bottom, and then the pyramid of liber
ty will be upon a safe and sure basis.
"Dats hit!" cried a frenzied looking
negro, who arose with rolling eyes and
outstretched arms. 1 did not know
him, but Jones whispered to me that it
was Nat Turner. "My frcn has called
hisselt do "Postle of Liberty,' but I was
de fust Oppostle and de fust martyr,
eeppin my fren, de porter at de gateob
dis hall niout claim de premption to dat
-sigiiittieance. I tell you, you must light
de debbie wid fire." fLouil cheers and
yells, and cries of "put him out."]
His Majesty, who, I am told, loves a
good joke, called the meeting to order,
and smilingly reminded tlie speaker
that his language was neither parlia
mentary nor complimentary to the
Nat resumed—"l mnbly beg your
madjisty's pardin; I thot I was preach
in to de riggers in Soiifamtnn; nebber
ik-less I holds to de pinion dat half-way
messures won't do, we BUist lieard de
lion in his den, and drib*, him out'n it,
too. I means by dat. Dat we mns ex
communicate de rebels f'-om de face oli
de yearth, and let de niggers hab de
whole Souf; dat de id or; its darn by
right* any how, who dared do woods?
who built de fences? and wnkked d
lan, an made tie cottau and de corn
and de barker, dat made de white folk
rii'b, if de nlggcrsMidn't do It? Dat
what I preached at fuss, and il you cur
ry out dat idea, Jen de glorious Sun ob
Liberty will shine forebberon a happ.
and niancipatcd Souf-"
Here Nut subsided, and a portly gen
tlemuii arose and said, "May it pleas
your Majesty 1 have had thirty j'ear
experience In the United States Senate
aud am of the opinion that it is the iv
Kial shinplastcrs, (I ask pardon lo
expression infernal—l use It in no
idious sense) but it is this miserable
paper currency that is bringing ruli
upon the Radical party; let them res
umc specie payments, repudiate tin
public debt, linUh the l'acilic railroad
and make my son-in-law, Colonel Fre
mont, president, and I'll insure tint
the Radical party and the country wll
Aaron Burr claimed the attention o
the meeting for a short time. He list
studied American politics, and had beei
a close observer of American affairs cv
er since the organization of the Unitei
States government, and the result o
his observation was, that mankind wen
unfitted for self-government, and tha
the Republic was a failure. It wa
needless for him to enter into any ar
gnment; the fact stared them In the
face, and his advice was to strengthet
the hands of the Radical party, instrtic
theui to nominate Gen. Grant for the
Presidency, and to elect him by any
means fair or foul; a little tnanagemen
on the part ol Congress could easily el
feet that object, Grant once elected, he
could assure them there would be ai
and of the republic. With the army a
his command and tlie insatiable appe
tite for plunder of the Northern people
the object, cowed condition of tlie
South, and the easily-bought complied
ty of the ignorant Radical negro, then
would be no dilllculty in his making
himself dictator and then emperor o
the United States; s. consummation lie
thought most devoutly to be wished lor,
aud one that would redound to the benc
flt of America and of his Majesty's do-
Stepben A. Douglas arose, wrath
and belligerent. He said that he couli
not allow these Radical revolntionar.
doctrines to pass unnoticed, withou
putting in a word of defence for th
cause in which he had labored so lon,
and so hard while in the flesh—the grea
Democratic party of America—[shouts o
'•put him out," "down with the Demo
nrat," "to the lakes with him," "boi
him," -'roast him," "fry him," etc.] ii
the midst of which and the dennmia
yells of a thousand infuriated fleuds
Stephen slunk out of tlie hall.
His Majesty having commanded am
enforced order, icmarked that it wa
obvious that the sense of the meeting
was unauhnously in favor of atistaiufn;
tlie Radical party, and as his cherishei
friend Mr. Lincoln had advised then
as to the benefits that would be rcapei
from Judicious bribery, he suggestci
that the most able and influential mem
ber of the party should be appointed as
the leader, and to inspire him with re
newed ardor and energy, he should bt
assured of Ids high ap-jreciation at this
court, and the certainty of his receiving
the highest honors and emoluments
here after his death. A unanimous
shout of approval greeted this sugges
tion. His Majcst.' said, that it only re
mained to select the leader, and he de
sired to hear the sense ol the meeting on
that point. Mr. Lincoln nominated
and warmly advocated the claims of the
flon. Thaddeus Stevens, who he raid,
was air tady the acknowledged leader
of the party; which was warmly secon
ded by the meeting. John Brown ob
jected to him on account of his age am'
growing infirmities, and nominated the
Hon. Charles Sumner. (Cheers.) Nat
Turner nominated "do llonnerble G Mi
neral Benjamin Butler, who was de
most sponsiblist and influensliallist
man wid de party bof Norf and Souf.'
At this His Majesty arose, indignant
and assured the meeting that lie wotili
not hear of such a man as Beast Butler
receiving high honors in hell, that i
(neb as he were to be received at his
court, hell would cease to be respecta
ble. When Butler came there, as come
he must, he had prepared for him a cor
ner in one of tlie lowest slums of bell,
where lie should be closed in a huge
bottle and fed with an iron spoon on
melted silver—he was fond uf silver ant
should have his glut of it. (Shouts ol
T .c vote being taken, resulted in the
selection of Hon. Thad. Stevens as the
leader of the Radical party, and Chas.
Sumner as associate leader and succes
sor iv case that old Thad. should be
called to enter upon the enjoyment of
his Infernal honors before the next
Presidential election.
The chair then appointed Abraham
Lincoln, John Brown and Nat Turner
as the committee to proceed to Wash
ington immediately. John Brown
thanked the chair for his appointment
and said that be would be glad to go to
the upper world once more, it if was
only to see how old Henry A. Wise
enjoyed the los 3 of his niggers, and to
feel even with him.
The meeting then adjouined.
I lingered In the hal until nearly
every one had passed out, when Tom
proposed to introduce me to his Majes
ty, and before I knew it, had conduetei
vie up to the Infernal P.esence and in
troduced me as Mr. Spike from Rich
mond. I made a low and trembling
beisancc, and stammered out an apolo
ogyfor my pre«enc« at tho meeting,
stating that I was a reporter, and had
come lor the expiess purpose of report
ing tlie proceedings for one of the K'n-li
nioud papers. His Majesty smiled en
couragingly, assured me that no apolo
gy was needed. "You know," he said,
"that I have been called the 'Father ot
Lies,' ami that being tlie case, of course,
1 must be nearly related to t\ic repoi-ters;
and am glad to have met with you."—
At this little sally his Majesty laughed
merrily, and of course I had to follow
suit, although I thought it was rather
personal, lie then leaned forward in
a confidential way, and said, "you must
excuse my pleasantry, I am really glad
to sec you and to have an opportunity
of conversing with you. I fear that 1
am greatly misunderstood by your peo
ple, and would like, through you, to
correct some ol their misapprehensions.
Now answer mc candidlj-, did you not
expect to find me black as a negro, and
ornamented with a tail, hoofs a.i-l
horns?'' I told him candidly that I
did. Just here I think it would be well
to give a description of the personal ap
pearance of his Satanic Majesty. His
general appearance is that of a man
thirty-five or forty years of age, about
six feet in height, thin and wiry in his
limbs, his chest and shoulders full and
well-developed, his face a long oval,
complexion a pale clear olive ,hair black,
soft and curling down to his shoulder*,
eyes very black, lustrous and piercing,
but assuming at times a magnetic soft
ness and tenderness that would he ir
resistible with women, nose sligluly
aiptilinc and thin, short upper lip,
covered by a short, thick, black mous
tache, slightly curling at tlie extremi
ties, and merging into a well trimmed,
wavy black beard, lips beautifullycurv
ed and full, expressive of strong will
and passion, curling at times with con
tempt and hatred, and then again
wreathed iv playful mirth, teeth bril
liantly white, sharp and pointed, lie
was dressed, in honor of the occasion,
iv the uniform of a United States army
officer, of perfect Ut, and wore, I should
think, about No. 7 boots. The only
ornaments he wore were au exquisite
ly-cut cameo, representing the Temp
tation in Paradise, and on the little
finger of his right hand a gold ring,
formed of three serpents twisted to
gether, and enclosing between their
heads a large diamond of supernatural
brilliancy. In his right hand he held a
gold sceptre, fashioned like tho ring,
the serpentsenelosingatcrrestialglobe,
significant ol Satan's sway over the
earth. The three serpents, I learned,
was the Satanic emblem, adopted in
derision and defiance of theJHoly Trini
ty. This was the mneh-talked-of, but
little understood Devil as he leaned over
conversing with me.
But to resume : His Majesty said. "I
know it; and just as yaur people have
blackincd my face, so have they black-
my character. Now tell, mc If
you please, what they think of me mor
ally ?" 1 hesitated, but he said, "speak
out, and let us be confidential." Thus
reassured. I ventured to remark mildly
that I believed that the general opin
ion was that he was rather inclined to
he irreligious, and that I had heard it said
that he had an aversion to holy water.
He replied, with a grim smile, "Now
just see how I »m misunderstood ; it is
true I am not a member of any church,
but I have a high respect for religion.
though I will acknowledge that In old
en times I was much opposed to it,
because it was pure and evangelical,
and did interfere a great deal with the
affairs of my kingdom ; but the way re
ligion is now conducted particularly in
Ir Northern churches, I look upon
a pleasant, fashionable amusement
i which I am in perfect harmony,
o my aversion to holy water, that
is nonsense ; the truth is, I have an
aversion to water of all kinds, because.
when sprinkled on me it causes my
skin to blister, and gives me intense
pain. The only holy water in the world
is the tear of repentance and that"
here he checked himself aud looked
down—"but this is a disagreablc sttb
tl would rather converse on poli-
You can form a pretty correct
of the opinions that arc held here
our affairs, by the proceedings ot
leeting, ol which I hope you will
a faithful report; as to myself, the
interest that I take in politics is as
far as they allect the affairs of my king
dom, and as my interests are decidedly
with the success of the Radical party,
ot course I shall throw all the weight
of my influence on that side. The
South has no cause to love me, for 1
have been indirectly the cause of all
their woes; it was to my interest that
the late war should be prolonged, so I
frequently interfered in your battles
and pievented the Confederate victo-
Sfroin achieving a peace, which they
Id otherwise have done," (thinks I
to myself, "you be ,") but before I
could finish the altogether superfluous
wish in my own mind he looked at me
sharply, and said : "I know you are
Ping me now, but you must remem
that all governments are founded
and conducted upon the principle of
self-interest. For that reason England
would not help you, and for that reason
I was against you. So much tor the
past—now as to the future: General
Grant will be your next President; my
inllnence will effect that, and then, as
Aaron Bnrr said to-night, you may
look out for a monarchy, which is the
only true, substantial form of govern
ment. "*' 1 suggested that Grant did not
have head enough to cflect such a revo
lution. He replied, "True, Grant is
mud lle.-lie.idcd, but he will have good
Dr. O. W. Bagby A A. F. Stofer.
One Copy .1 months *1 00
Chilis of live, one year IS SO
(liilis often, one year, .....I'JIW
Clubs of twenty, one year, tOUU
«iT- Voluntary i-oininiinlriit lons, i-imtalnin
Interesting Or Important news, solicited from
any quarter,
P- Rejected communications we can no
irtake to return.
Oliltnnry niitii-es exceeding live lines
be. charged fur at our regular advertls
lug rates.
«#■ All letters on business connected wltl
Uie olllee, must be addressed to the "Native
. i J— ' .. .1 —-»-»--—
ailvisers.and he has the nerve and don't
mind shedding blood." llerelie mused
rapped with his flngere on the er\ stul
serpent, and siijd, as if to liitnseir, "I
think we can manage it."
At this juncture a tittle blank imp ap
iiroached with a silver waiter Oil whiet
was a golden tankard ; he took the
tankard, saying, "I always take a nigh
t before retiring—this is some o
arris & Briiniir.ers best, sent dowi
to mc as a present by John Minn
Burts : it is dashed with a little boiling
laiitl aquafortis (ogive if a bet
r. Will you join me?" offering
up smilingly. I begged to bo
on the plea of being a tceto-
And pray," said he, "what Is
explained that teetotalers were
y who were pledged not to
y ardent spirits. "Is it possi
d he. "that there can be sucl
I must see to them, If they
red to flourish they will deprive
If my custom." He tiien enip
tankard at a draught, wiped hi
i a white cambric htindken hiet
;ared to be refreshed and ex
I. ite invited mc cordially ti
lew days In Ids kingdom ; sail
I like to take me around and
the sights which would fur
some good "Urms," especially
reservoirs, "which, by the by,"
'•were designed by a couiitry
out-s—Colonel fillet—a man o;
what do you think he proposed
rely ? nothing less than to bore
through the earth to tlie At
:ean, and let in the waters ol
t, to extinguish the fires ot hel
liticent scheme truly, but I toll
I thought that the meeting o!
elements in such large quanti
dd generate sufficient gas to
the whole world, ne said he
rtthite the water, and by means
cr tunnel to terra firma let oil
as last as it wns generated.—
tl him I did not like that sum
y of dispensing with hell, and
;sed the subject. The fact is,
te, lull is a necessity ; what wolild
of such people as Brownlow,
Wade, Butler, Stanton, Sum"
j., if there was no hell?" He
le me a polite bow of dismissal,
ed mc his hand which courtesy
dme to take, lie gave me a
iake, which caused a tingling
i as if a thousand ants were
up my arm. Tom also mivde
;, and we departed. Tom ac
ed me a part of the way to tho
mi stopped, aud said he must
ood-bye, as be bad to attend a
; the Duchess de Pompadour's,
ted to shake bauds with him,
1 that my arm was paralyzed,
ike out in a great laugh, "So
aid he, "for shaking hands with
il. He did that because you
your were a teetotaler."
[ am not a teetotaler, and only
i get nd of drinking his Infer
lound ol whisky aud sulphur."
id Tom, "lie knows that as well
nd he vrm,"greening" you when
out that ho didn't know what
iter was. I tell you, there's
joing on in the world that ho
now all about, and have a iin
too. Good-bye!"
him good-bye with my left
J, hurrying down lo the river,
next train for home, where I
bout day-break, glad enough
y foot upon this upper crust
c, and vowing never to go to
l. it I can help it.
t to state that there were three
us looking passengers on thu
d one of them ha 1 on a long
1 a Scotch cap. I know by that,
were the Infernal Commiision
four faithful Reporter.

. Kennedy, President of the
Kentucky llorticult ural Society asserts,
that Grape culture in this country is
iniiuitoly more prolitable than it is iv
Europe, where, from a single species
more than two thousand good varieties
have been produced, and upwards of
four hundred of them are now cultiva
«ln France and Spain, exclusively
Another authority on this subject
states "that two hundred and Hfty gal
lons per acre is considered a very mod
erate estimate of the average crops of
American vineyards, four times that,
amount having been produced, and one
dollar a gallon is certainly a very low
figure for the product."
Descending to details, the estimated
yield per acre in Ohio is 200 gallons, in
California 800 gallons. In North Caro
lina the native Scuppernong will yield
735 gallons of pure wine, which would
bring in any market $2 per gallon. —
Tills would aggregate, gross, ?1,480.—
From which deduct cost ot sugar $100,
Nt of labor $200—a net balance ol $1,
--per acre will be left,
is to the adaption of the soil and cli
mate of Virginia to vine culture, says
the Whig, we do not want proofs. It
has beeri fully tested. It is not alone
our prejudice and partiality, that claim
it. Foreigners and visitors from the
North have satisfied themselves in re
gard lo it. We have before us at thi >
moment an article on -The Virginia
Vineyards," extracted from Ihe Practi
cal Fai-mer, published in Philadelphia,
which expresses the opinion that tho
Vineyards of the Piedmont Valley
"will become an important source of
wealth to Virginia." It alludes to
their freedom from rust and mildew and
the protection afforded them by the
surrounding mountain ranges; stales
Unit they escape uninjured when even
the excellens vineyards at Brie sillier,
and that tho grapes ripen nearly a
month earlier than Now York varietie*
aiidsurpass tlienttofruitniliicss Mil tla-
VOr -
|CP" The tenor ot sonic singers -dvuild
lie like that, spoken of in Cray "s Llegy
—noiseless tenor;

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