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Blie Knew from Experience.
"You needn't tell me," averred Miss Batchgurl, "that golf Isn't good exer cise. It makes the young men so strong In the arms that that you can scarcely breathe." The Lower Eocene Horse. We may imagine the earliest herds of horses In tho Lower Eocene (Hohip pus, or "dawnhorse" stage) ns re sembling a lot of small fox-terriers In size, only eleven' Inches, or two and three-tenths hands, at the withers, cov ered with short hulr which may have had a brownish color with lighter spots, resembling the sunbeams fall ing through the leaves of trees, and thus protecting the little animals from observation. As in the terrier, the wrist (knee) was near the ground, the hand was. still short, terminating In four hoofs, with a part of the fifth toa (thumb) dangling at the side. De spite Its diminutive size of from eleven to fourteen Inches, this little horse ranged from Mexico northward through Wyoming, and far over con tinental Europe and Great Britain. From Henry Fairfield Osborn's "Fos sil Wonders of the West" in the Cen tury. "What's the matter across the way?" asked the tailor of a bystander, ts the ambulance backed up to the door of his rival. "A customer fell In a fit over there, and they are taking him to the hospi tal," was the reply. , "That's strange," said the tailor. ' I 'never knew a customer to get a lit In that establishment before." Price of Fame. The young man with the uncut hair and hungry look had submitted a poein for editorial consideration. "Well," said the man behind the blue pencil, after a hurried glance at it, "how does $5 strike you?" "Why er really," stammered the rhymster, "that is more than I er " "Well, that's the best I can do," In terrpted the busy editor. "I couldn't think of prating a poem like that for any less." All in the Family. Smartleigh (to father-in-law) Tour daughter's extravagance is too much for my purse, and yet I don't want to have any hard words with her so soon after our marriage. Don't you think you could speak to her about it? Gay Old Father I could, but it wouldn't do any good. She's smart enough to know that she inherits all of her bad qualities from me. Detroit Free Press. Hadn't Forgotten It. "For years I have suffered in si lence," remarked Peckem at the dinner table the other evening, "but you should remember the old saying that even the worm will turn." "Huh!" sneered Mrs. Peckera, "I hope you don't call yourself a worm, do you?" "Possibly not," replied the theoreti cal head of the combine, "yet on the day of our marriage I have a dlatlnct recollection of hearing some one refer to you as the early bird." Hot In Hli Line. "I don't know what is the matter With me, doctor," said the parson, "I can't lie on either side." "Of course, not, parson," replied the pill dispenser. "Only a lawyer can do that" THE WELFARE MANAGER. Recosnlzed and Helpful Intermediary Between Employer and Km ploy e. Within the last few years there has been created in the. Industrial world an ollice now known as that of the wel fare manager. It should not be for gotten, however, that ,thls term was invented to fit an office already In ex istence, and that it was not so invent ed until much valuable work of a pio neer character had been accomplished. This manager, who may be either a man or a woman, is a recognized inter mediary between the employers and employes of mercantile houses and manufacturing plants which possess any pretensions to size and import ance. Such a person represents the choice of an employer who would In troduce among his employes Improved and more favorable conditions, but who, hampered as he Is by the com plex ramilicntlons of the industrial and social world of to-day, and unable to attend personally to every detail, finds himself obliged to summon to his aid the services of an intermediary be tween himself and those in his em ploy. It Is the employer, not the employe, who has chosen this Intermediary and outlined the cope of the manager's work. At the same time, in order that his own purposes may not ho defeated by the presence of too much friction in his establishment, he has been at pains, when making his choice, to re spect the sentiments and prejudices, and sometimes even the dignities, of his employes. In no case coming un der my observation has he failed to re move a welfare manager unable to pre serve the harmonies. For such a man ager, It must be understood, is unlike a superintendent or a foreman, and lias no direct authority in the business, nor power to engage or to dismiss un employe. Century. The Company Feels Itclieved. "Mr. Scrapem," said the hostess, to an umntour violinist at an evening gath ering "yon play the violin, do you not?" "Yes, after a fashion, you know," was the modest reply. "How nice!" murmured half the com pany. "Did you bring your violin with you?" "No; I did not." "How nice!" murmured the other half of the company in fervent unison. Gal veston News. Mechanical Explanation. The engineer, seeing a specimen of the Mephitis American on the track ahead, hastily applied the air brukes and stop ped the train. But lie was not quick enough. Tue locomotive ran the little aniuiul down. The conductor went forward hastily. He returned even more hastily. "What is the matter, conductor?" ask ed an anxious passenger. "Is anything wrong with the engine?" "Only temporarily, ma'am," he replied. "It's er ou a dead scenter." Chicago Tribune. One of Many. The Friend (who has been abroad) And how Is your wife, old man? Ex-Husband Oh, I haven't any wife now. She got a divorce last spring and Is now on the stage. The Friend Ah, an actress, eh?' Ex-Husband Oh, no; she's merely on the stage. Logical Surmise. Fond Mother And you think Mr. Huggins objects to my presence In tb parlor when he calls? Pretty Daughter Yes, mamma. Fond Mother Why do you think so? Pretty Daughter Well, I have rea sons to believe that he loves me foi myself alone. A Touching Appeal. "Madam," Baid the tramp as ha held out his hat to a lady who passed, "please help a poor man to get a bite to eat." "Not me," replied the lady, as she sized him up; "you have been drinking." "True, lady," answered the hobo, "but I've got to eat occasionally, just the a me." Miss Estelle Reel, superintendent et 11 Indian schools, receives $3,000 a year, the highest salary paid any woman la the government service. Just as Good. "One o' these days." said the patron to the banana vender, "you'll be so rich from sellln' bananas that you'll be cumin' around In a auto, Instead o' with this cart." "Xo, no," answered Salvatore Per bacco. "Xo, no, slgnora. I notta get tho auto. I notta need him. I hava the fight ever' night wltha the alley gang nn' gotta hurta just as badda." i'cw York Herald. Hie Maiden Effort. "What was the most trying moment of your life?" asked the inquisitive party. "I think it was the first time I camo home at 2 a. in. after my marriage and tiled to convince my wife that urgent business detained me at the office," replied the party of the other part Limited Knowledge. "Oh," sneered the self Important lawyer, who was cross-examining, "you think you know It all, don't you?" "Not quite," replied the witness. "For instance, I don't know how you manage to secure an occasional cli ent" Made Fatal Error. Tess So their engagement Is broken off. Jess Yes, they quarreled and she was in the wrong. Tess And she wouldn't admit It? Jess No, that was the whole trou ble. She did admit it and after that lie simply became unbearable. Philadel phia Press. Cauee of Delay. Singleton I saw your wife In a down-town dry goods store early this morning. Wedderly That acounts for It. She was merely shopping. Singleton Accounts for what? Wedderly Tho fact that she was late to dinner to-night. Had she been buying things it would have taken her only a few minutes. Rurge and Precht, Revue Seientilique, have classified radium by tho spectro scope. The most intense lines of the spark-spectrum of radium are rigorously analogous to the strongest lines of barium and its congeners, magnesium, culcium and strontium. They place the atomic weight of radium at 257.8. This high atomic weight furnishes, in part, the ex planation of the ease with which its ele ments split into electrons to produce radio activity. A Reliable Guest. Proprietor Seems to me you wers rather careless to give the best room in the house to an utter stranger without baggage. Hotel Clerk Oh, he's all right. He's worth a million at least. He's here as defendant in a suit for breach of prom isedamages to the plaintiff's injured heart, two hundred thousand dollars, Possible Explanation, Maude He says he loves me dr lv. yet he has known me only Uro days. -Clara 01), well, I suppose that ac counts for It dear. HER BALL GOWN. She Oot It for a Purpose and "Charged It Up." There is a good story known to the elect of newspaper circles, 'but beyond the precincts of the craft entirely hid den, for' it concerns a former star in the journalistic world who has now re tired to the more peaceful sphere of home life. To begin with, let it be known that the proper pronoun to be used in this anecdote is "she." Not long ago the columns of print that appeared under her name were eagerly sought as being the very salt of San Francisco's journalistic achievements. Everybody knew her, through her work at least, and every body hung upon her written words as oracles. The envied of all her sister craftsmen of the pad, and the admired of every newspnper man, from man aging editor to cub, this lady held su preme sway as long as the spirit moved her. But 111 one way she was a terror to tho business office. Nobody could put In an expense account of such ampli tude as did this particular star car riage hire, ' messenger boys, special 'incidentals" truly, the business of fice would sit up at nights in mute rage.' It happened that the Inaugural ball up In Sacramento wns assigned to the lady, with instructions tnat she should "do It up brown." She did. When her expense account went into the business office at the end of the week there was an Item which caused tho business manager to sit up and take notice: "A ball gown, $75." Well, the business office would not pass that item. When the Irate lady writer brought it before the manag ing editor he had been forewarned. "Now, miss," he began, In his suav est tones, "we will be very glad to ad mit this Item In your little account. The ball gown was probably as neces sary to you in covering the story as this item Indicates carriages to hr.ve been. "Now, for the fuiure contingency that may arise," continued the editor, In honeyed tones, "we will just have that gown In stock. We will provide a closet for its reception In the art editor's room, and we will instruct the Janitor to give it a little dusting now and then, so as to keep it in good con dition, and when you want to use It you may obtain the key from the jan itor. I believe" There was an Indignant rustle of skirts, and the managing editor reached out for a cigarette to cheer him In his solitude. San Francisco Call. Facing a Problem. "Have you ever thought about Johnny's future career?" asked the boy's teacher. "lie has decided talent as an elocutionist." "I know it," replied Mr. Upjohn, "and I'm blest if I can decide whether I ought to develop it or try to whip It out of him." Chicago Tribune. A Stirring Finish. Tourist And did the musical genius born on this ranch finish his educa tion In Europe? Borax Bob Xo; right here in All isony. He tried to convince some o' the boys that ragtime warn't good music, an' they' buried him an' his pl anner together. Judge. Lightened the Burden. Several young women' at the re ception asked young Mrs. Wlsley why he bad discharged her hired girl. "The reason Is plain enough," aba replied. "It Is easier to do the work for Tom and me than for Tom and the hired girl and me." Detroit Free Press. wnere money Talks. "I am a poor man," he began, "but If the devotion of a true and loving heart goes for anything with you, I " "Oh, it goes with me, all right" in terrupted; the fair but practical maid, "but I'm afraid It won't uo with the 'grocer and the butcher."