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The Decision of Tommy Atklna. During the recent army maneuvers two officers were disputing about the classification of a tree. One was sure It was a birch, the other was equally certain It was an ash. A private was at length appealed to to settle the question. He looked up and down the tree, walked around it, stripped a piece of bnrk off and dug into the trunk with his bayonet. "What are you doing that for?" ask ed one of the officers. "To find ouf what kind of a tree it Is, major." "Well, what is it?" The private gave another dig, and made a minute inspection of a splinter; theu he delivered judgment. "You're both wrong," he remarked, respectfully though authoritatively. "It ain't a birch tree, and it ain't a hash tree; it's an ordinary wooden 'un.' A Rocky lload. Editor Hightoue Magazine I have ex amined your manuscript, sir, and find it a thrilling narrative, which arrests at tention at the start and holds it spell' bound to the end. Struggling Author (despairingly) Then, of course, it won't do. Hope for iliin. "No, Mr. Hoamley," she said, "1 have no thought of marrying any man." "But," he persisted, "is there no hope for me at all?" "Of course there is. You'll find lo:s of girls who are not so particular as I am." Philadelphia Tress. No Dead Give-Away. "Meanley, the millionaire, gives the impression that he's giving away con siderable money to the poor." "Docs he say exactly how much?" "Certainly not; You don't catch him giving away how little he's giving away." Philadelphia Ledger. Good Joke at a Church Fair. "Had a great time at the church fair last night!" "So? What was doing?" "They had some strawberry short cake, and I nearly laughed myself to death thinking how I fooled 'em, I didn't eat it" The Difference. "She's really not cultured at all. She says she can't understand Browning at all." "But one may be cultured and yet not understand Browning." "Of course, one may not. understand It, but one should never admit it" Philadelphia Press. Not the Heal Thing. Smith I don't believe Brown pos sesses the true Christian spirit Jones Why not? Smith Well, I did him an Injury once and he has purposely overlooked a dozen opportunities to heap coals of fire on my head. A Terrible Jolt. He I make it a rule to never speak unless I know what I am talking about. ' She That's a sensible Idea; but aren't you afraid of losing your voice from want of practice? Her boast. City Boy Swampland, where ws wen! this summer, was terrible hot. Mother Yes, it was. "But you just told ...s Stuckup you slept under blankets every other night. I mos' roasted." "You forget, my pet, that you were not the one who had the ague." At a Bummer Hotel. Stayhome How was the weather where you were this summer? Outer Cool enough for blankets every night. "My! My! I envy you." "Y-e-s, but we hadn't the blankets. His Opinion.' "In some parts of Africa," said Mrs. Naggs, who was perusing the village weekly, "a man can buy a wife for a clay pip and a string of glass beads." - rWe,'r rejoined Naggs, "I suppoM there are some wives who are really worth all of that" Adjusting; the Price. The Subscriber I would like to re new my subscription to the Weekly Wakeful. Editor All right, sir; we have plen ty of potatoes, so you bad better make it turnips. Mrs. Lowerten Rebels. Mrs. Lowerten Is Mrs. Upperten at home? Servant (snappishly) She's out. Mrs. Lowei-teu (quietly) I happen to know that she is in, but her directions to you are quite excusable. She proba bly thinks that I am a bill collector. When the present Czar was Czare vitch he was attacked by a fanatic in Otsu, Japan, and two jinrikislia men as sisted in rescuing bini from his assail ant. They have received a pension from Russia ever since. This year it was forwarded to them as usual, much to their surprise. Miseries of Wealth. Binks There is a man who can afford to hang his overcoat on a fifty-dollar hall rack, instead of suspending it from a nail lu the wall. . Winks How do you know? Biuks His overcoat is humpbacked. In the Dim Future. , She-No, Mr. Smitten, I cannot ac cept you. I shall continue to wait un til I meet the ideal man. He Well, here's hoping you will Uve till the millennium rolls around. Experience as a Teacher. Tom Congratulate me, old man! Miss De Flypp has just presented me with the key to her heart. Jack I'll congratulate you later. It's dollars to doughnuts she'll have the lock changed to-morrow. OuRht to Be a Us, "Say, old man, I'm writing a novel that Is going to sell like wildfire." "How's that?" "When It's done I'm going to make the last chapter the first" Detroit Free Press. Soul Sorrow. "Madam, your husband has been mur dered and robbed." "Just my luck! I forgot to go through his pockets last night." Town Topics. Former Senator Henry G. Davis and his son-in-law, Senator Stephen B. El kins, have contributed $100,000 to the Davis and Elkins College, just opened, at Elkins, W. Va. ' "I'd like to show you a copy of the work I'm selling," said the agent. "It Is something that Interests every hu man being 'How to Live a Hundred Years.' " "I've no use for it," said Gayboy, "unless it tells how to live a hundred yenm In ten years."-M3h!cago Trib une. feminine Charity. Maud Young Slmklns la what I would call a prize Idiot Clara Then the report must be true. Maude What report? Clara That he lias been making love to you, dear. One or the Other. "Yes," said Lowe Comedy. "I'm go ing to join a stock company In Chi cago." "Ah, what are your prospects? Do you expect to stay there for the entire season?" asked H Tragedy. "Well, It will either be a long run or a long walk." Philadelphia Press. The Maiden's Reply, flsld he: "You're a peach. Fly with me.""- . 8b replied, as she dashed all his hope: "Tou're mistaken. A 'peach,' did you ssy? Well, I'm not I'm a cantaloupe." Philadelphia Bulletin. IN FIELD OF HUSBANDRY TOPICS OF INTEREST TO FARMER AND ORCHARDIS. Elevation and Clin ate California Mecca Irrigation in Hawaii Cran berry Culture Pepper Trees for Honey Horticultural Notes. ELEVATION AND CLIMATE. Everybody is familiar with the fact that elevation 'affects the climate. In California snow-capped mountains are numerous in summer, while in the plains below snow seldom falls in the coldest weather of winter. But how many can tell what rate elevation pro duces a change of temperature? In Draper's great work of "The Intellec tual Development of Europe," Vol. I, p. 29, referring to the general eleva tion of Europe since the tertiary pe riod of more than 2000 feet, he re marks that "an elevation of 350 feet is equal to one degree of cold in the mean annual temperature, or to sixty inches on the surface northward." At this rate the top of a mountain 15,000 feet high would be almost 43 degrees colder than the general elevation at the base; and so when the thermom eter shows a temperature of C5 de grees at the base It would be 10 de grees below the freezing point at the top or 22 degrees Fahrenheit. With the temperature at 100 on the plains, It would be only 57 at the top of the mountain. CALIFORNIA MECCA. Our California Mecca in Riverside county, out on the desert 144 miles east of Los Angeles, equals the old Hebrew prophecy, "the desert shall blossom as the rose." It is a marvel ous transformation which is taking place there. See the illustrations ot the 'one-year-old vineyard, one-year-old Malaga grape vine, and the young fig orchard. Tropical vegetation only can exceed the growth of trees, vines, melons, alfalfa, beets, etc., at Mecca. With all of California and Arizona desert places to choose from the gov ernment has located its great date growing experiment at Mecca.. The Herald. IRRIGATION IN HAWAII. In the December number of the New York Review of Reviews there is an account by Lewis R. Freeman ot the sugar industry in the Hawaiian is lands which is both interesting and in structive. The subject is made highly attractive by several very fine half tone illustrations of characteristic views which are more convincing than anything else could be. Through irrigation and improved methods al most an entire revolution in sugar pro duction has already been accom plished, so that now, as Mr. Freeman says, "Hawaii, second to Cuba and Java, in the world's sugar product, has achieved an enviable position in twen ty years of scientific cane-culture." The crop average per acre on a four thousand acre plantation is ten and a quarter tons of sugar, worth $80 a ton In the open market. This plantation Is but a few miles from the city limits of Honolulu. Irrigation is the chief cause of these vast yields, and of the increase in available cane land. This plantation lies on the loeward or dry side of Oahu, and was waste land until the dis covery that it was underlaid with ar tesian water. In 1882 a government survey gave the sugar crop on the Island as 3000 tons, raised without ir rigation. In 1902, with irrigation, this island produced 107,870 tons. The total Hawaiian sugar crop last year amounted to 437,000 tons. The ravages of the leaf hopper was brought to the islands a few years ago in an importation of foreign cane, but not until this year has its damage been serious. It cannot be controlled by straying and fumigation on account of the expense. The hope of the planters is in the discovery of a par asite. However, the yellow Caledonia variety of cane is not much Injured by the leaf hopper and new plantings will be made of this variety until re I lief Is found. CRANBERRY CULTURE. When the conditions are right cran berry culture is a paying business. The berries, being firm, are good ship pers, and there is little likelihood ot loss Ui transit. More attention is be ing paid to the business of growing cranberries In Tillamook and Clatsop counties than in any other section of Oregon. Peat bogs are considered to be the best adapted to this business. The bog must be drained to about eighteen inches below the surface, and pure sand must be spread over it to a depth of several Inches. The cuttings which should be obtained from plants under cultivation if the best re sults are desired are then set out, four in a hill, about a foot apart. Plants yield most abundantly from the third to the tenth year, and will then average 200 bushels to the acre. When it is known that $2.50 per bushel is a good average per bushel is a good average price, the profit, after the first coBt has been made up can easily be estimated. The first cost is really the only expense except picking, and this varies according to the locality. Cran berry culture might be called a one man Industry, since one man can eas ily handle a ten-acre marsh, except during harvest, when he secures help from the adjacent ranches or from the Indians. Emma Ssekle Marshall in Sunset. PEPPER TREES' FOR HONEY. C1., Modesto, writes the Cultivator, that a "tree man" told him that pep per trees on a place would spoil honey if one kept bees, while a "bee man," who keeps bees in his yard, stated that his bees get much good from the trees. He asks which is right. The bee man Is certainly right. It is true that pepper belonks to a family of a family of a bad reputation as many of the trees are poisonous, like the oak, ivy, etc., yet in none of these cases is the nectar to be feared. The same report is of:en made of eucal yptus honey. I think it is very rare indeed, for any nectar to be poisonous. There are reports even from the time of Herodotus down to the present time of certain plants that furnish poisonous honey. The kalmai of our own southern States has this evil reputation, yet I have eaten freely of this honey and know the report is un founded. Honey of any kind often makes certain people sick, sometimes very sick, and I have reason to be lieve that this fact is the source of these ill founded reports. I have known the bees to work on peppers almost every year for the past ten years, and had I bees, I should rejoice in abundant peppers In my neighbor hood as I should, were there numerous eucalypts. Horticultural Notes. California Cultivator). A borax mine has recently been dis covered in the Frazler mountains sixty miles west of Lancaster. The people of Poplar, Tulare coun ty, are talking of forming a company to bore for artesian water and gas. Pasadena anticipates getting up a finer tournament of roses for January 2d than any yet given by that city. The hunters about Santa Maria are talking about getting up a. cayote drive to rid the country of these farm ers' pests. The Santa Rosa Republican says in the light of recent developments, it is believed that the California North western railway will be converted from a steel road to an electric line. About fifty cars of oranges were shipped out of Pomona for the Christ mas trade and according to the Pro gress of that place, they netted the growers over $50,000. This record is a great Improvement over the last year's Christmas business. The Holstein men of California are trying to have the National Holsteln Frlesan association of America hold its next informal session at San Fran cisco. Owing to the by-laws, a regular meeting of the association can not be held outside the State of New York. Young hens of last spring's hatch are selling at $6 per dozen, thorough breds are selling for considerably more. Every farm should have from two to five hundred laying hens to meet current expenses. They beat the dairy four to one in a dry year. Lom poc Record.