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Something for All.
Train Boy Morning pnper, sir? Gruff Passenger Get out! I can't read. Train Boy Then perhaps you would like a picture book, sir? The Coldest City In the World. The coldest clly In the world la Yakutsk, Siberia. It Is the great com mercial emporium of East Siberia, and the capital of the province of Yakutsk, which in most of its area of 1,517,003 square miles is a bare desert, the soil of which Is frozen to a great depth. Yakutsk consists of about 400 houses of European structure, standing apart The intervening spaces are occupied by huts of the Northern nomads, with earthen roofs, doors covered with hairy hides, and windows of ice. EVERYBODY WANTS A TIP. Experiences of an American Woman While on a Visit to Venice. One of the things that most aston ishes you with regard to the working class Italian is the perfect frankness with which lie shows his desire for a tip. No false modesty obscures it. You may sometimes fear that you will for get It. Let such fears forever rest. He won't let you. lie will follow you, asking you If you have your parasol when he sees it in your hand, or if you know the way out when he has just told it to you. The whole pool population of Venice Is absolutely naif in Its exhibition of a desire for any small sum of money the passerby may throw It. The children, oue and all, make a demand for a seldino as a mat ter of course. It is a sort of greeting to every foreigner, casually, as a phrase of general usage. Coming from the bath you fee the girl who has charge of the bathhouses. If you don't she. has a dozen ways of making herself disagreeable next time you come. And do not allay your trou bled anticipations by the thought she may not recognize you. Oue glimpse of a face fixes it In her memory for months. After that you fee the wom an who' takes care of your purse and jewelry. If you fee her enough she drags out from some inner recess a cheap mirror which distorts your coun tenance and allows you to look into It and see how truly hideous the human visage can bo made to appear. Before the bath you have feed the old woman who gives you your bathing suit. If you neglect her the next time you come she will give you a suit that doesn't fit you or is full of holes. When you go out on the terrasse for a black coffee, which costs 10 cents, you fee the waiter. When you get into your gondola you foe the old man who draws it close to the steps with a hooked stick and offers you his withered old arm to lean on. When you get out of your gondola at the ho tel you fee another old man with a hooked stick and a withered arm. And then at dinner, if you haven't just feed the waiter he will be cross, and up In your room afterward if the femme de chambre has not recently had a tip she will refuse to answer the bell. San Francisco Argonaut. THE HOR8E AND MAN. Animal Conquest Marked a Great Torn ins Point in History of Civilization. The conquest of the horse by manv and its final utilization for all pur poses which are discharged by steam and electricity to-day, marked one of the great turning points In the history of civilization. In the great earth and sand preglaclal deposits of Europe the true wild horse is as wide-spread, though not as varied, as in America. It is not at this stage associated witfc the remains of man, because no pregla clal man except the pithecanthropus or Trlnll man of Java has been found. In the Interglaclal or postglacial period the remains of man and the horse are first found together. The first associa tion occurs In the middle of the paleao lithic, or rough implement, period". The discovery of all the possible uses of the horse came very gradually, how ever, for there is abundant proof that man first hunted and ate, then drove, and finally rode the animal. The prevailing drawings of the pa laeolithic horse represent him as hog maned, with no forelock to conceal the low-bred Roman nose. A second type in the Mouthe cave, a bearded horse with long, bristling mane, long ears and convex forehead, is regarded by M. Riviere as another species. But it is not clear to my mind that these drawings represent more than the summer and winter coats of the same animal. Besides these Roman-nosed types to which Ewart traces the mod ern cart horse, there are others with small heads and flat noses which Ewart associates with the Celtic pony and possibly with the origin of the thoroughbred. Other cave drawings, reproduced by M. Capitan, leave little doubt that the ass was known in Eu rope. It Is also certain from abund ant evidence in the caves of France that there was a larger horse toward the south perhaps, while the smaller breeds may have frequented the colder northern regions. Century. APHORISMS. Avarice is always poor, but poor bj Its own fault Johnson. Children have more need of models than of critics. Joubert A man of integrity will never listen to any reason against conscience. Home. The more one speaks of himself, th less he likes to bear, another talked of. Larater. Flattery Is a base coin which gains currency only from our vanity. Rochefoucauld. We cannot control the evil tongues of others, but a good life enables us to despise them. Cato. Contentment with the divine will is the best remedy we can apply to mis fortunes. Sir W. Temple. It depends on education to open the gates which lead to virtue or to vice, to happiness or to misery. Jane Por ter. He is happy whose circumstances suit his temper; but he is more excel lent who can suit his temper to any circumstances. Hume. Information Wanted. "Are you a married man?" asked the absentmlnded attorney, who was doing a cross-examining stunt "No, sir," replied the witness. "I am a bachelor." "Very well, sir," continued the law yer. "Now kindly tell the court how long you have been a bachelor and what the circumstances were that in duced rou to become one." The King of Korea. Only the King of Korea may rear goats or have round columns and square rafters to his house or wear a coat of brilliant red. Only the King may look upon the faces of the Queen's hundreds of attendant ladies or have any building outside of which there are more than three steps. Four steps would be high treason and would cost tbelr owner a traitor's death. Clipping. The Beginning of Lore. "Hello, Freckles!" "Hello, Smarty!" Chicago Chronicle. Tobaooo Wholesome Sometime. Mr. Grumpps The paper says a man In Pennsylvania has used tobacco for ninety years, and is now one hundred and three years old. Mrs. Grumpps Il'm! His was an ex ceptional case, of course. Mr. Grompps Yes, I presume he didn't have a lot of female relatives to worry him to death about it. Too Hot for Him. "Why did he give up his position in the cold storage house?" "He couldn't stnnd the hoat." "Heat? Why, there's no heat in a cold storage house." "Well, he said they fired him and promised to make it hot for him If he tame back." Cleveland Plain Dealer. Pardonable Curiosity. "At this height," said the guide, as they paused on the mountain side to look at the valley fur below, "people with weak hearts often die." "How often." asked a deeply interest ed listener, "do they have to die before they stay dead?" Chicago Tribune. Couldn't Read Music. "rfwat's that, Moik?" asked Pat, as he picked up a Hebrew newspaper. "B'gorry, Oi dunno of wat tune it do be," replied Mike. "Oi'm not afther knowiu' wan note from another." Proof. Ida I think she must expect to marry Jack in the near future. She has told him to economize. May Girls often do that. Ida Yes, but she has told him to itop bringing her candy. An Interruption. Johnson Young Newpop gave his baby a weigh last night. Mrs. Johnson Oh, the heartless wretch! Johnson On the grocer's scales. Clever Scheme. Slubb How does Homer make peo ple jump out of the way when he comes along with his baby carriage? Penn Why, he put an automobile born on it. They Were in Luck. Mistress What did the ladles say when you told them J was not at home? Maid Sure, wan av thim said it's afther bein' better t' be born lucky than rich. Only Single Men Know. First Man No, sir; I don't pretend to know anything about women. Second Man Indeed! How long have you been married? Keep Away the Files. Gunner People are always kicking about big hats in the theater, but nev er in church. Guyer Well, they help to screen the sleepers in church. A Sudden Rise. First Ex-Volunteer How high did you get in the 'army? Second Ditto About ten feet In the air; I was kicked by an army mule. Detroit Free Press. No man reaches the stage of triumph but by the steps of trial. Limit. Silas And is old Hiram Kale so very stingy? Cyrus Stingy? Why, if he set a hen on a door-knob he'd expect her to hatch a barn door. Domes! lo Happiness. Mrs. Neighbors Men have different ways of Jimking home happy. Mrs. Hamer How so? Mrs. Neighbors Some do it by stay ing at home and some by staying away. She Know the Man. "What's the matter with Mrs. Gay man?" asked the deaf old ludy at the railroad station. "What's she fussin' about?" "Her husband's trunk," replied Mrs. Subbubs; "It seems " "Oh," interrupted the old lady, "she ought to be used to that by this time. He's always In that condition." Phil adelphia Press. The Czar's life is made strenuous is spito of himself. HOW AH SIN WOlN a mrc. Secured a $2,000 Bride Through Trick ing a Sunday School. A certain missionary in one of th-3 rescue homes in local Chinatown la disgusted and declares that she In tends to retire and give up the work of saving souls. All on account of little "Dan Cupid," who has been using the mission as a means to further his ends. One day not long ago a neatly dressed Chinaman entered the mission and informed the lady In charge that In a certain alley in Chinatown there was a slave girl who wished to run away to the mission and study Christi anity, but was unable to do so on ac count of her owner, who was negoti ating her sale for $2,000 to an old gambler. The next day the missionary made her appearance in the alley, and with the help of an interpreter and a po lice sergeant rescued the girl, who took up her abode in the mission. She became an Interested pupil and soon embraced Christianity. About the same time the Chinaman who had caused the rescue appeared. This time he wished to join the church himself. He had not been a member long before he came forward with the request for a wife, which was granted. Among the names suggested was that of the rescued, girl and he chose her. Her consent was the only condition, and, needless to say, that was easily obtained. The wedding was not delayed. The time taken to deceive the missionaries had been too long for the loving hearts. They were united by the mis sion pastor, after which they left for a josshouse and were married by the priest In real Chinese fashion. The last the missionaries heard of them they were living in the heart of Chinatown and were worshiping joss, even more devoutly than their neigh bors. Later it was discovered that tha Chinaman, who was really the girl's lover, but had not sufficient funds with which to purchase her, had used missionary people in this shrewd man ner. He got the girl he loved with' out paying the $2,000. But the mis sionary has lost her confidence in th3 yellow race. San Francisco Call. Sad Domestic Blow. The honeymoon hadn't even begun to shoot the chutes when he came home one evening and found her cry ing as if her heart would break. "WThy, darling, what in the world Is the matter?" he asked. "Oh, J-John," she sobbed, "I'm so d-discouraged I d-don't know' w-whal to do." "Wrhat is it, little wine," he queried as he gathered her into his arms. "I w-worked all a-afternoon making c-custard pies b-because you are so f-fond of them," she replied, "and t-they all t-turned out s-sponge cakes, Boo-hoo-oo!" All man are born equal and all wom en are born a little more so.