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Dining Out, , Change of. Time. , He had read a marriage notice men tioning the age of the groom as 17 and thnt of the bride as 10 years. , "Yes," he mused, "times are chang ing. When I whs young childish amusements were much simpler." CuHtomer I thought I told you to get me a wing and on no account a leg. Waiter Yesslr : I gnre your message to the eooU an' 'e sez,"My compliments to the gen lemnn, an' tell Mm as W the fowls In this 'ere hestablishment 'as ter walk as well as fly." The Tut Oar. How's This? We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward for any case of Catarrh that cannot be cured by Hall's Catarrh Cure. F J CHENEY & CO., Toledo. O. We, the undersigned, have known P J. Cheney for the last 15 years, and believe him perfectly honorable In all business transactions and financially able to carry out any obligations made by his rm, WAI.EIKO, KINNAM A MARVIN, Wholesale DruRglBts, Toledo, O. Hall's Catarrh Cure Is taken Inter nally acting directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces of the system. Testimonials sent free. Price 76c. per bottle. Sold by all Druggists. Take Ball's Family tills for constipation. Perfectly Awful. Mrs. Muchwed Nothing In the world could Induce me to live in Ilussia. Mrs. Neighbors It certainly Isn't a desirable country to live In. Mrs. Muchwed I should say not. Why, I was rending in a paper this morning that in Itussia no one la per mitted to marry more than five times. Such atrocious tyranny is perfectly aw ful. I'ned to Knock. "At any rate," remarked the patri otic citizen, "when a cadet conies out of the . American naval academy he can't be beaten." "I don't doubt it," chuckled the man with the mustard whiskers. "He Is beaten so much while he is in there I guess be Is hardened enough to stand anything." riTC Permanently Cured. No Bts or nerv- 1,0 outincss after first day's use of Dr Kline's Ureat Nerve Restorer. Send fo FREE S2.00 trial bottle and treatise. DR K. H. KLINE, Ltd., 931 Arch St., Phila delphia. Pa. Featured. "What do you mean by this?" roared the Irate editor to the blase reporter, "I told you to go out and get me a good feature story and you bring me this dry old debate." "It ought to be a good feature story," drawled the delinquent. "If you look over It you will find it full of 'ayes' and 'noes.' " Baltimore American. fas.OOper M.Lewls' "Single Binder"stralght 5c cigar, costs the dealer iome more than other 5c cigars, but the higher price enables this factory to use higher grade tobacco. Lewis' Factory, Peoria, 111. Determination. "I believe that In an election tha best mnn should win," said Senator Sorghum. ' " "That Is a proper and patriotic sen timent."., .... ..... "Yes, sir. And I hove my own Vdeas r.bcut who the best man if, and I'm go lag to see that he does wln.'tio matter how many votes ar; cast against him." Washington Star. " ' Easier Work. "Don't you ever get tired writing short stories?" asked the inquisitive person, - "Yes, Indeed 1' replied the-literary hack. "What do you do for a rest,, then?"" "Write novels." . Not So oiKlerf nl, Meyer It was certainly a miracle. I barely escaped with my life. Gyer Huh ! I fail to see anything miraculous about thnt Now, If you bad escaped without your life the story would be far more interesting. He Had Jlcen There. "Did you ever feel as If all the world was against you?" queried the pessim ist "Yes, once," replied the optimist "When I was a boy 1 fell a distance of ten feet out of an apple tree." Vl to Nature. First Artist Get any Ideas, old man? Second Artist Well. I cuess, yes. Got a bang-up sketch of a cyclone In action. "What in thunder can you do with a cyclone?" "Do with it? What do you sup pose? I'm going to use it for the hair In my new portrait of the American eirl." ruck. An Amendment Accepted. "Sometimes I think my typewriter knows more than I do," remarked the New York orator. "I was dictating a speech to her this morning and I said 'The ballot is sacred.' " 'A very proper sentiment." "But she changed it. She mixed the letters of the last word a little and changed it to 'scared.' " Washington Star. no it N'oir. Customer Why don't you tack up this 'Do It Now' motto? It's been !v lujc around on the counter for a month." Grocer Wa-al, J'm n-goiu' ter tack It up sometime if I ever git to it Judge. His ninff Was Good. "But," protested the millionaire fath er, "you are hardly the man I would wish for a son-in-law." "I'm not looking for a Job as son-in-law, If any one should ask you," re joined the poor but seemingly honest young man. "I propose to do the hustle act for Mayme and myself." Whereupon the father was taken off his guard and neglected to call the young man's bluff. Deter in I nation. "I believe that In an election the best man should win," said Senator Sorghum. "That is a proper and patriotic sen timent." . "Yes, sir. And I have my own ideas about who the best man is, and I'm going to see that lie does win, no mat ter bow many votes are cast against him." Washington Star. Imposition. Blfklns The current number of Blank's magazine is almost wholly a re print of last month's issue. MIfkins You don't say! Bll'kins Fact. There are but three aew advertisements In the whole ninety six pages. Qnlctins Snspicion. "Mr. Blank seemed rather uneasy when I told him you were going to ap ply for the position of typewriter." "He was, but I soon got him over bis alarm." ' , "What did you say to him?" ' ' '' "Told him I had no matrimonial designs whatever; that I merely want ed to be asslster to him." Baltimore American. '". . . ', Greek Meeting? Greek. - ' :; . "You say here," began the city editor, severely, . "that "silence fell.' Did you hear it fall?". ' -v , - :i. :,. The; report was not abashed by the sarcasm, .'.'No," be said, "I didn't exactly hear it fall,, but I heard them breaking it a little later." The Kind You Have Always ture of Chas. II. Fletcher, and lias been made under his personal supervision for over SO years. Allow no one to deceive you In this. Counterfeits, Imitations and' Jnst-as-good' are but Experiments, and endanger the health of Children Experience against Experiment. What is CASTORIA Castoria is a harmless substitute for Castor Oil, Pare goric, Drops and Soothinpr Syrups. It is Pleasant. It contains neither Opium, Morphine nor other Narcotic substance. Its apre is its guarantee. It destroys Worms and allays Fcverishness. It cures Diarrhoea and Wind Colic. It relieves Teething Troubles, cures Constipation and Flatulency. It assimilates the Food, regulates the Stomach and Bowels, giving healthy and natural sleep. The Children's Panacea The Mother's Friend, The Kind You Have Always Bought SI Bears the In Use For Over 30 Years. THC CINTU COMMNV. TT MURRAY TMCET. NEW VOSK CITV. Get What You Ask For! THERE Is a Reason Why the Good Peoplo of America buy Cascarets as Fast as the Clock Ticks. Every second some one, somewhere. Is Buying a little Ten-Cent Box of Cas carets. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 60 times to the Minute, 60 Minutes to the Hour, 3600 Boxes an Hour, 36,000 Boxes a Day of Ten Hours, 1,080,000 Boxes a Month, and then some. Think of it 220,000 People take a Cascaret tablet each day. Millions use Cascarets when necessary. The Judgment of Millions of Bright Americans is infallible. They have been Buying and Taking Cascarets at that rats for over Six years, It Is not an Experiment, not an Acci dent or Incident, but a sound, Honest Business, based on Tlme-Tried.and-Tested Merit, never found wanting. There is a Reason. Cascarets are the Implacable foe of Ail Disease Germs; the Incomparable cleanser, purifier and strengthener of the entire Digestive Canal. They Act like Exercise on the Bowel Muscles, make them strong and active able to Help Themselves do their work keep themselves clean. Cascarets are the safe-guard of Innocent Childhood against the Dreadful Death dealing Dangers that threaten the Lives of the Little Ones. r ..' ". .. . " They are Purely Vegetable, absolutely Harmless, always Reliable and Efficient, A Qucatlon of Phrneoloff . "It la. hoped that. In the, course of time this malady qalled, grip will dis appear," said the physician, i : "It won't disappear,',? answered the skeptic. "Fashion will merely change and people will go' bacls to 'the custom of 'saying they . have bad colds.' Washington Star. " Bouirlit lias borne the si r na Signature of a true, faithful, loyal servant of Mankind. Over Five Millions of Dollars have been Spent to make the merits of Cas carets known, and every cent of It would be lost, did not sound merit claim and hold the constant, continued friendship, Patronage and Endorsement of well pleased people year after year. There is also a Reason Why there are Parasites who attach, themselves to the Healthy Body of Cast caret's success Imitators, Counterfeiters, Substitutors. They are Trade Thieves who would rob Cascarets of the "Good Will" of tha people, and sneak unearned profltst earned and paid for by Cascarets. A Dishonest Purpose means a Dishonest Product and a Disregard of the Purchas ers' Health or Welfare. Beware of the Slick Salesman and his ancient "Just as Good" story that com mon sense refutes. Cascarets are made only by the Sterling Remedy Company, and the famous little Ten Cent "Vest Pocket" box is hera shown. They are never sold In bulk. Every tablet marked "CCC." Be sure you get the genuine. XT FREE TO OUR FRIENDS! We want to send to our friends a beautiful French-desipned. GOLD-PLATED BONBON BOX. hard-enameled In colors. It is a beauty for the dressing table. Ten cents In stamps is asked as a measure of good faith and to cover cost of Cascarets, ! with which thlsTSTnty trinket Is loaded. 78 Send to-day, mentioning this paper. Address Sterling Remedy Company, Chicago or Hew York. Feared the Worat. r The sad-faced man was awaiting bis trial on the charge of bigamy. "Keep up your courage," said bis at torney. "I'll See that you get Jus- -. . ,. "That,'; replied fche victim of ..Ws own foolishness, "Is just what -Titx afraid of."