OF HYMEMIA BASS
By Edna Foster.
"Monarchy has had quite a sjtuac
up at the Basses," said Capt. Trac .
leaning against the door ol the fish
house and supporting himself with on.
.'There was no response from the
half-dozen men mending a big net
which was spread out upon their
knees; they did not cast the fly to
catch the floating gossip of the town,
but allowed It to drift toward them
by the great law of chance. Capt.
Tracy was not dismayed by the si
lence; he knew his listeners, and In
stepped into the room and made read
to divide his spoils.
"Hymeny Bass has always been a
terrible meek sort; she has had ' a
large, wide idea of the cap'n and his
judgment; she's believed he was so
great that when he went east the west
would tip up, and that his opinions
were Inside information from the very
keyhole of the universe. Now I think
his Ideas on a subject are likely to
hit ab'out as near as the 'Farmer's
Almanac' comes to getting the weather
right. There Is always a pretty wide
range to allow rcom to turn. . Hy
meny hasn't bought a yard of calico
or baked a cake that be hasn't super
vised for 40 years.. She would no
more dare to set a bureau angling
than she would dare to set fire to
public buildings. The whole house is
full of ruts In the floors where she has
stepped In her own tracks.
"But she's out of bondage now," con
tinued the narrator. "She's gone up
into the conning-tower, and Cap'n
Bass is only firing when he getB the
signal. And Miry says she Is wig
wagging an everlasting message of
freedom to them that can't under
stand. "It's all along of a present they got
from the old Bass property. When
the estate was divided there was a
bsd and two chairs for Elmlry, a pung
and a ox-goad for Jonathan; but Hy
meny wasn't named in the regular
will, and she got only a longlsh kind
of a looking-glass.
"The cap'n Is tall, and he has al
ways hung the mirrors bo high that
Hymeny hasn't seen herself since she
was married, and when the cap'n came
home and brought the glass he set
it cn the floor, tipped back against the
wall, till he could get a chance to buy
a cord. Hymeny, It seems according
to Mary saw herself for the first time
In years. They do say she gave a
kind of a yelp and stood like one
stunned; she had to get acquainted
with, herself all over.
"She saw how downtrodden she
looked and meechlng, and she saw the
fires, quenched out of her eyes, but
what she most wilted at if bo be
there was left any room to wilt was
the way her hair had wlsped all down
to nothing. She dwe'.t on that, and
dwelt on it until she almost lost her
sense of fear of the cap'n. So one day
she up and away over the fields like a
girl going to the fair, and she en
gaged Betsy Spooner to make her a
"Hymeny is a changed being. Boys,
when that front came home, Hymeny
perked it up on her head as fine as
you please, and Mary was there, and
said she seemed to undergo a kind of
a transforming, blooming process. She
sat up straighter, and the first words
she spoke was to contradict the cap'n,
and three times she upset him in ag
germint, and then Mary very wisely
got up and came home.
"Now, did any of you ever hear any
kind of a superstition as to false hair?
JMary and I kind of remember some
thing to the effect that if combings
are taken from a person's hair un
beknownst to the person, that the per
son getting that hair, as a switch, will
develop all the trnits of the person
that it belonged to heretofore."
"I guess you will have to say them
words over again, anil say em Blow
er," said Capt. Jed, nudging his neigh
bor. "Well, to put it plainer, the hair In
that front piece be.cnged to Mis' Nir
am Gay, and Hymeny has seemed kind
of possessed of her ways ever siica.
She has got the cap'n completely
cured cf bluster. Why, she set out
yesterday that he muBt take her to
that menagerie that travels through
here every year. Mary was there, and
stood near them when they were look
ing at the bear. Hymeny took her
sunshade and sort of poked into the
cage to wake the. bear up, and the
cap'n told her not to. Mary said she
sort of tipped up her head and said
pretty Arm: 'Cap'n Bass, I have wanted
to poke the animals for some years.
This year I shall poke!' and she did.
"A spell after some one heard hi n
say to her: 'There, you set there til
1 come back,' and she said: 'No, 1
won't Bet!' and away she went oft
toward the kangeroo. Time was when
she' would have set until the menag
erie moved along and come again
another year, if he hadn't told her to
The net was mended and the mer
rose to go to the shore. Capt. Tracy
was satisfied with the interest he had
created, for, by a freemasonry of tho
eyes, he knew the sentiment of thi
little circle. Capt. Ben lagged ba
hind. "You you don't th'nk," he said
hes'tatingly, "that this 'ere Bet' s
Si:ooner is going to work up muc :
oi a trade In this town, do you?"
"Haw! haw!" derisively laughad
Capt. Tracy, as he climbed the hill.
"I guess It's nothing but his gos
sip," said the man to himself, in n
iionifortiiig tone. "I don't s'pnse, an.
way, that Mis' Nlram would have
whole lot of combings."
Severe Winters in England.
There was ice 61 Inches thick on
fhe Thames in Enedmd In 1664 and
In 1684 the ice was aain thick enough
on the Thames to support coaches
which were driven acrcss It.
A man can get awful morbid over
the political depravity of the country
i' ho doesn't lika the coffee his wife
Nature dcesa't permit babies to
talk under a year so they can't learn
all the queer kind of language women
use to them.
A Newark minister tells women to
reform their husbands by mental sug
gestion when they are asleap. This,
we presume, Is a new cure for snoring.
The most mistaken man in the world
13 he -who thinks he is doing a profit
able thing for himself by loafing
when his employer is not around to
Hurting His Business.
A "prominent physician" advises us
not to eat lettuce, onions or celery.
Vegetarians getting too healthy to
suit him, eh?
Let the Work Be First.
Never mind where you work; let
your care be for the work itself
ureal sioenan industry.
Mining has the greatest future of
any Siberian Industry. Gold in placers
Is the chief mineral product at present.
No statistics as to the amount of gold
proaucea in siDeria can De ooiainea,
as the figures are contained in the to -
tnl output of . the Russian empire.
The Unfortunate Possession.
There is nothing which so much
makes for the misery not only of its
possessor but of all who are so un
fortunate as to be intimately asso
ciated with him or with her as an un
governed and unreasonable temper.
FIRST NATIONAL BANK
ALBUQUERQUE, N. M.
OFFICERS and DIRECTORS.
Joshua S. Rayxolds, President.
M. W. Flournoy, Vice President.
Frank McKee, ..Cashier. '
H. S. PiCKARD,.....Asst. Cashier.
U. S. Depository
Authorized Capital $500,000.00
Paid (Tp Capital, Surplus and Profits $250,000.00
Depository for Atchison Topeka & Santa Fc Ry. Co.
ALL IN Ti: CZ'. 2ZH FUTURE.
Beautiful PlcUie of Wl ct Llf on the
Farm Is to Ce Like.
The future farmer will sublrrigate
his land, and defy drought as well as
.floods. He will become a scientific
forester, and every farm will produce
wood and lumber as well as wheat and
apples. A single acre will produc
.what ten acres yield now. Women
will work out doors as heartily as
men; in fact, they will be the horti
culturists and the truck gardeners.
There will be closer relation between
the producer and the consumer ig
noring a horde of middlemen who fre
quently waste more than is destroyed
by ignorant help and insect foes com
bined. Under the alliance with the
school the farm will be valued not only
for its gross weight of products, but
for its poems and its education. As
our schools become places for apply
ing as well as acquiring knowledge,
our farm homes will become Integral
parts of the garden school and the
school farm. The alliance between the
home and the school will become very
close. A valley full of farms Is air
ready the nearest to paradise that we
have, but the future will tenfold its
wealth and hundredfold its delights.
AS EXPLAINED BY THE GUIDE.
Garrulous Old Woman Found Out
What Caused Streak on Water.
The garrulous old woman In the
Etern of the boat had pestered the
guide with her comments and ques
tions ever since they had started. Her
meek little husband, who was hunched
toad-like In the bow, fished in silence.
The old woman had seemingly ex
hausted every possible point in fish
and animal life, woodcraft and per
sonal history when she suddenly es
pied one of those curious paths of
oily, unbroken water frequently seen
on small lakes which are ruffled by a
, "Oh, guide, guide," she exclaimed,
"what makes that funny streak In the
water No, there Right over there!"
The guide was bury rebalting the
old gentleman's hook and merely mum
"Guide," repeated the old woman In
tones that were not to be denied, "look
right over where I'm pointing and tell
me what makes that funny streak In
The guide looked up from his bait
ing with a sigh.
"That? Oh, that's where the road
' - , - ; ,
ent ,acr0?s the '?e Iast wInter' -
What Willie Saw.
Whfen Willie saw the peacock for
the first time he said to his mother:
"Oh, mamma, you should have seen
It! Electric lights all over the ferns,'
rnd a turkey underneath." Delinea-lor.
Some strange customs exist in Al
bania. To compliment an unmarried
woman, for Instance, Is provocation
for death. A bloody enemy is under
amnesty while in the company of a
woman. A woman may shoot a fiance
who breaks his betrothal or call upon
the young man's father to kill him. If
a man commits murder, and, flying for
his life, enters the house of another,
friend or foe, he is safe. This is the
case, even If he takes refuge In the
house of a brother of the man he has
slain. He may not remain there for
ever; but for three days he can live
on the best that the house provides.
When that time is up, he Is shown on
his way. Twenty-four hours Is given
him to make his escape; after that
the amnesty is over and the blood
feud begins. The Balkan Trail.
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